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Two Guys, One Lapdog

Two Guys, One Lapdog

By Ryan Yoshida

Hosts Matt Mayer and Ryan Yoshida offer their two cents on an array of topics varying from small dog ownership and, "being the drunk friend", to mostly inaccurate takes on sports, politics, and society in general.

Welcome to the best podcast you’ve never heard of.
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Host Matt is Going to School

Two Guys, One Lapdog Mar 13, 2019

00:00
01:00:31
Host Matt is Going to School

Host Matt is Going to School

And we're back.  Congrats to host Matt on going to more school.

Mar 13, 201901:00:31
Ryan is Getting a Tattoo

Ryan is Getting a Tattoo

Host Ryan couldn't follow through on winter shorts so now he may get a tattoo.  You heard it here first.  TGOLD Nation stand up.

Mar 07, 201901:12:33
The one about Host Ryan's Pronunciation

The one about Host Ryan's Pronunciation

If you're reading this stop and just listen to the episode. 

Mar 06, 201959:29
The Oscars Reaction

The Oscars Reaction

And we are back with full episodes.  The two guys take back the podcast from NPR Matt who graced us with his poignant, if not short, readings earlier in the week.  This episode we respond to listener voicemails and forget to turn on the mics.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Feb 28, 201901:02:50
Spepisode 2: A Special Guest

Spepisode 2: A Special Guest

Tune in as we shake it up for this podcast.  A very special guest will read a collection of stories as we bring you another special episode.  Feeling anxious?  Winter's got you down?  Well the soothing overtures of todays podcast will be sure to calm your nerves (or put you to sleep).  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Feb 27, 201910:47
Sink Etiquette, Headstrong Controversy, and In-Sync Workouts

Sink Etiquette, Headstrong Controversy, and In-Sync Workouts

And we're back.  Stay tuned for some announcements on our 5k and subscribe/leave us a rating.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Feb 21, 201957:14
@headstrong, 5k for the Cure, and Abducted in Plain Sight

@headstrong, 5k for the Cure, and Abducted in Plain Sight

Boooooooooom, we're back! Same shit, different day. Let's dialogue. 

Feb 19, 201901:08:01
Host Ryan's Diagnosis

Host Ryan's Diagnosis

And we're back.  This week, our hosts talk about Ryan's worrisome recent diagnosis and give you ways to support him through his journey.  They also spend a long time on Adam Levine's figure, give their thoughts on the recent episode of the Bachelor, and listen to some listener voicemails.  Keep an eye out for our merch and a possible charity 5k that is ambitiously slated for Feb 20th but we'll see if we can get our shit together.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Feb 14, 201941:54
Snowpocalypse

Snowpocalypse

In this weeks episode, Host Ryan's hands are failing him, the Two guys debate the right way to close a cap and the lapdog is upset they record without her.  Look out for the merch and don't forget to leave us a review for some extra content.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Feb 12, 201901:17:57
Can we call this a Sandwich?

Can we call this a Sandwich?

BOOM! What's up TGOLD Nation, we're back. Hosts Matt and Ryan are coming to you love in the new FoGro Studio 2. The boys jump right into things with a quick Weekend Recap. Host Matt questions Ryans reliance on coffee. The private snap is ready for you TGOLD, just remember to leave your snapchat username when you rate and review on iTunes!! Next the boys spill tea over self-defense class and gym etiquette.  Bachelor talk continues as the guys talk about the action packed Week 5. Episode closes out with a crowd favorite, "Weekend Warriors". As always, sit back, relax, turn your headphones up, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of!

Feb 07, 201957:16
21, Super Bowl, Listener Voicemails

21, Super Bowl, Listener Voicemails

Latest episode of Two Guys, One Lapdog
Feb 06, 201901:19:18
Super Bowl

Super Bowl

Welcome back to a new TGOLD episode.  This week is our first episode coming from FOGRO Studios 2 - our new permanent home for recording.  Let us know what you think about the change and don't forget to keep leaving voicemails with Host Ryan.  

Jan 31, 201901:20:04
The Dog Speaks

The Dog Speaks

TGOLD is back with another episode.  Join us this week as the guys debate Twitter and Instagram, give there take on this season of the Bachelor, and we may or may not hear the lapdog speak for the first time.  Get ready as we prepare to launch some exciting new projects including video, merch, and new interview segments.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Jan 29, 201901:07:09
The one about Fyre Festival...

The one about Fyre Festival...

Boom, we're back! Welcome to another episode of Two Guys, One Lapdog. The guys are joined by long time favorite NPR Matt to talk politics, chihuahua milk, and the new intern Rachel. Host Ryan takes it upon himself to record the episode wearing AirPods, and host Matt has a few words for him. The guys transition into a new segment, "Abuela's Diary", where they discuss the busy, chaotic life of an aging chihuahua. The guys wrap the episode up talking about the newest Netflix documentary, Fyre Festival. Sit back, turn your headphones up, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of. 

Jan 24, 201901:11:09
TGOLD SEASON 2

TGOLD SEASON 2

And we're back.  You thought we were gone, but here we are, back again to bring you even better content.  Yes we went on hiatus, yes we left the loyal TGOLD nation without any sweet sweet content for what seems like an eternity.  But good news.  Season 2 is here and we are back with your favorite segments, a new intro, and some exciting projects planned for Q1 2019.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of.

Jan 22, 201901:06:23
Two Guys No Lapdog

Two Guys No Lapdog

And, we're back.  The confusion, the delays, the days without a new TGOLD episode.  Finally your suffering is ending and Host Matt and Host Ryan reunite for an all new episode.  Listen in and buckle up for some content coming at you all the way from the Hawaiian Islands.  We hope you never have to go this long without a new episode ever again.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Dec 31, 201831:22
Best Episode Yet: Christmas Special: Lost Tapes Volume II

Best Episode Yet: Christmas Special: Lost Tapes Volume II

 

Merry Christmas to TGOLD Nation. Today we have decided to bring you a special gift in the form of a lost tape. Host Ryan does not remember recording this, Host Matt remembers pieces, but we will all remember Host Ryan’s promise to wax and tattoo himself on instagram live so keep a lookout for that @twoguysonelapdog. So gather the family, put down the Christmas music, and tune in over Christmas dinner as TGOLD brings you laughter and joy this holiday season.  

Dec 25, 201825:14
One Guy, No Lapdog Pt. 3

One Guy, No Lapdog Pt. 3

Boom, host Ryan is back with a new special guest.  He sits down with an old high school friend at his old high school to discuss frat parties, celebrity encounters, and Ryan's dating life.  Tune in as Host Ryan pioneers the outdoor podcast and pulls out two booms in one episode.  There's only two more episodes until our hosts are reunited so make sure to catch the end of TGOLD's nationwide tour next week.  As always follow the instagram @twoguysonelapdog and give us a follow on twitter @2guys1lapdog.  Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.

Dec 21, 201801:02:54
One Guy, No Lapdog Pt. 2

One Guy, No Lapdog Pt. 2

BOOM! We're back, or should we say Hosts Matt's back. Host Matt is on assignment reporting from Chico State University with a few members of TGOLD Nation. Host Matt talks Cardi B, homemade lozenges, and partying at Chico. The Lapdog sends her regards and can't wait to kick off Q1 with a blast! Host Ryan is still in the beautiful Rainbow state preparing for the much anticipated TGOLD Travel Series. Everyone here at the TGOLD is hoping you're enjoying this holiday season and don't forget to tune in this Thursday for a new episode of the best podcast you've never heard of.
Dec 18, 201852:53
One Guy No Lapdog

One Guy No Lapdog

And we're back. Get ready as we kick off our holiday set of TGOLD episodes today. For the next few weeks, we'll be diving into the holiday season with a slate of special guests and hometown specials as our hosts spend some much needed time away from each other. They may be apart, but you best believe they will be producing the kind of quality content you've come to know and love here in TGOLD nation. But don't despair, this time apart is only the lead up to a the first TGOLD Travel Series as Host Matt and Host Ryan reunite in sunny Hawaii later this year. Tune in to keep up to date with your favorite content creators and look out for the TGOLD Youtube Channel launching January 2019. Get ready for the best holiday special you've never heard of.
Dec 14, 201840:01
Friendsgate: Host Ryan is pushed to the edge

Friendsgate: Host Ryan is pushed to the edge

Boom! We're back. The guys recap their Fajita, MLS Cup, and Consuella filled weekend, drop some essential Morning Announcements, and dive into Bumble... but with other stuff. This holiday season will be filled with special guest from TGOLD nation, the guys hometowns, and much more. Host Ryan loses his shit when Matt challenges the integrity of the popular show, "Friends", as they discuss Netflix's most recent scandal. We head back into, The Dorm Room, where all (3) host give you their Dorm Room wish list! As always you can find all the products and topics they discuss on Instagram @twoguysonelapdog and Twitter @2guys1lapdog. Turn up your headphones, kick your feet up, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of.
Dec 11, 201801:11:05
Week day recap, Would you Rather, What's in the News?, & Special Guest: Eammon

Week day recap, Would you Rather, What's in the News?, & Special Guest: Eammon

BOOM! We're back with our weekly dose of content. MORNING ANNOUNCEMENT: The race for Fall Royalty ends tonight at 11:57 p.m. so get your best fits off! Hosts Matt and Ryan are joined by special guest Eammon to bring you popular segments like Would you rather, What's in the News?, and Weekend Warriors. The guys do an impromptu, "Weekday recap", after a night of beer dye and binge drinking right in the middle of finals. Sit back, turn your headphones up, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of.
Dec 06, 201801:12:09
White water kayaking, The dorm room, and the Crock Pot

White water kayaking, The dorm room, and the Crock Pot

TGOLD is back to brighten up your Tuesday morning. Host Matt and Host Ryan recap Matt’s fly fishing adventures (follow his new fly fishing Instagram @_stablegenius). They bring back “The Dorm Room” and talk about their plans to go snowboarding. How Host Ryan is going to survive that in shorts is yet to be seen. Host Matt and Host Ryan also get ready for the holidays so look out for our holiday episodes with special guests, new segments, and a TGOLD trip to sunny Hawaii. Also be on the look out for more details on merch contests and check in with our last episode to see how to win limited edition long sleeve tees.
Dec 04, 201856:13
Fall Royalty, Bumble... But with other stuff, & What's in the Lyrics

Fall Royalty, Bumble... But with other stuff, & What's in the Lyrics

BOOM! We're back with another episode to get you through the week. Submit you or your friends best fall fits to be nominated as a Fall King or Queen, but hurry because the DM's are filling up (insta: @twoguysonelapdog). Matt and Ryan will select 2 Kings and 2 Queens to receive a FREE limited edition Two Guys, One Lapdog long sleeve t-shirt. The guys return with another segment of Bumble... but with other stuff where they discuss graduation, living with parents, and the Impossible Burger. A brand new segment, What's in the Lyrics, takes it back old school as Host Ryan sings some of musics most popular tunes as Host Matt tries to guess the song. As always your hosts tell you how they're going to battle the weekend in the ever so popular, Weekend Warriors segment. TGOLD nation stand up for the best podcast you've never heard of.
Nov 29, 201852:39
Thanksgiving Recap, Chihuahua Milk, & Romaine Lettuce

Thanksgiving Recap, Chihuahua Milk, & Romaine Lettuce

And they’re back. Host Matt and Host Ryan are here to bless your ears with sweet content. They recap their Thanksgivings, give a PSA about romaine lettuce and figure out how to survive the upcoming apocalypse. Learn about the best ways to tackle Black Friday, riots, and the benefit of lactose in the newest TGOLD episode. Get ready for the Christmas season where we have some exciting things in store for TGOLD Nation and keep an eye out for some exclusive merch. As always don’t forget to follow us on instagram @twoguysonelapdog and follow Host Matt on Twitter @rumgoblin_ not @_rumgoblin as he has been plugging incorrectly for the last 15 episodes. Welcome back to the best podcast you’ve never heard of.
Nov 27, 201855:05
A TGOLD Thanksgiving

A TGOLD Thanksgiving

Host Matt and Host Ryan are working through the holidays to bring you content. They'll bring you the best takes on how to tackle turkey day and even bring in a special guest host to take you through the ins and outs of whether to tackle your great aunt during the annual Thanksgiving football game, how much is too much to drink at the kids table, and how to fight back against the commercialization of the holiday season. Sit down at your family dinner, turn up this podcast, and get ready for the best podcast your extended family has never heard of.
Nov 22, 201859:17
The Lost Episode

The Lost Episode

It’s Thanksgiving week so we have a special lost episode. Our lapdog took an early thanksgiving break so while the references might not be current, the content is just as good. Don’t forget to join us for a special Thanksgiving Spepisode this Thursday and keep an eye out for our upcoming merch giveaway. That’s right, a merch giveaway. As always follow us on Instagram, tweet us and give us a review. Welcome back to the best podcast you’ve never heard of.
Nov 20, 201836:52
The Berlin Chronicles

The Berlin Chronicles

Host Matt and Host Ryan are back yet again. This week the listeners have spoken: Host Ryan will be spending the entire winter in shorts. TGOLD Nation, let's get some hashtag suggestions and get his suffering trending. The listener voicemails that sentenced Host Ryan to his fate wanted to give him an out in the form of leggings, but Host Ryan's integrity is too strong to accept and his bare skin will be exposed to the elements starting December 22. Also this week a new segment is introduced that is so cleverly named we may be filing a trademark: "Throw Back Thursdays" kicks off with the story of a land filled with beer, naptime, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. The guys recount their story of homesickness, hospitalizations and helplessness as they endure an entire two weeks away from the comfort of cellular data and people who speak english. Will they make it back to the homeland ok? Will Host Ryan ever accept socks and sandals? And who was watching the one lapdog while the two guys were gone? Join us next week for a special holiday Spepisode and follow us @twoguysonelapdog on instagram to watch continuous updates of Host Ryan's freezing legs. Welcome back to the best podcast you've never heard of.
Nov 15, 201848:23
Climate Change vs. Going to the Gym

Climate Change vs. Going to the Gym

Host Matt and Host Ryan are back yet again to bring in your Tuesday! The guys start out with their weekend recap, a few morning announcements, and jump straight into Bumble... but with other stuff. If you were hoping to hear, "What's in the News?", you're going to have to comeback Thursday because Host Matt has a take that sent Ryan into a tail spin. Sit back, turn your headphones up, and relax because you're listening to the best podcast you've never heard of.
Nov 13, 201846:16
What's in the Fashion?

What's in the Fashion?

BOOM! We're back with another Thursday episode. Hosts Matt and Ryan are joined in the studio by NPR Matt to discuss the mid-term election, they jump into the popular, "Would you Rather?" segment, and tangent into a brand new segment, "What's in the Fashion?". Host Ryan goes off the rails and proposes the idea of wearing shorts all Winter. Turn your headphones up, sit back, and enjoy the best podcast you've never heard of.
Nov 08, 201853:35
Weird flex, but ok.

Weird flex, but ok.

Hosts Matt and Ryan are a few hours late, but they're back! In this episode the guys talk about their fall royalty nominations, the lapdogs' pressing medical issue, and the return of Mo Bamba. The guys take you back to the Dorm Room and bring fresh ingredients for the Crockpot. It's all a weird flex, but its ok.
Nov 07, 201801:11:39
Listener Voicemails

Listener Voicemails

Host Matt and Host Ryan return to their regular schedule with their best episode yet. They start off with a new segment "Voicemails" where TGOLD nation fills up Host Ryan's inbox with questions about life, seagulls, and Justin Bieber. They give you a recap of "Whats in the News" where they discuss the pain of kidney stones and support Taylor Swift's get out the vote effort, which may or may not be part of a ten year revenge plan on Ye. In "What are We Protesting this Week" they urgently bring your attention to a vastly under-appreciated twitter post involving the theme song from the best show in television history, Thats So Raven. And finally they give give you a preview of their weekend in "Weekend Warriors" where they will be protecting their tables at all costs from the dangers of Mo Bamba. What a week for the best podcast you've never heard of.
Nov 01, 201841:38
Spepisode: Weapons of Death

Spepisode: Weapons of Death

Today's spepisode comes at the request of one Kolbi Lloyd. Host Matt and Ryan discuss different weapons of death used throughout mankind's history and determine who would beat who in a 1 v. 1 fight to the death. Tune in again tomorrow for another edition of the best podcast you've never heard of.
Oct 31, 201834:32
NPR Matt is Back

NPR Matt is Back

This week Host Matt and Host Ryan are back, or are they. It appears Host Matt has been replaced by the fan favorite NPR Matt who decides to put us to sleep again this week. In this episode the guys give their “Weekend Recap” where Host Matt has to fend off the advances of women at a Halloween party and news alert, it rains in Oregon. They bring back the popular “Bumble, But for Other Things” where they argue about milk and the guys get duped by an internet hoax. Finally, in “The Crockpot” they explore the cultural undertones of the phenomenon known as Mo Bamba that is sweeping the nation. Remember this week you are all blessed with three episodes of the best podcast on earth and join us tomorrow for our first Special Episode or Spepisode.
Oct 30, 201844:52
Milk Baths and Nude Models

Milk Baths and Nude Models

Thank goodness its Thursday and thank goodness Hosts Matt and Ryan have not given up on this podcast yet. Episode number 7 kicks off with a special announcement - there are three episodes next week, 2 regular episode and one special episode, or spepisode as we here at TGOLD like to say. This week the guys take you back into “The Dorm Room (2:18-22:18) where they bring you products that not only wake you up in the morning, but also help you wind down at the end of the day. They cover “What’s in the News” (22:35-42:18) where they discuss the very real possibility that Jake Paul will be our next president and how they would each kill a rattlesnake with their bare hands. Finally they give you their “Weekend Warriors” (42:18-55:18) preview where perhaps the greatest question is how Host Matt is going to navigate an eight hour drive with no internet. Will he make it? Will the spepisode really be that special? Did they already forget about their boxing match that they promised the listeners? Tune in next week to find out on the best podcast you may have heard of.
Oct 25, 201844:52
Mo Bamba Made Me Do It

Mo Bamba Made Me Do It

Host Matt and Host Ryan are back with a sixth podcast. How we got here, no one will ever know. This week Matt has decided to embrace our fierce competitors NPR by also putting you to sleep. The hosts take you through the “Weekend Recap” (4:43-13:20) where they discuss their lost Ikea table and Host Matt’s broken nose and continue on through “The Crockpot” (13:25-22:15) where Host Ryan helps Matt beat a violent hangover. Another novel game of “Would You Rather” (22:25-38:17) ensues and the guys discuss their preference for speaking with animals and again shamelessly plug their Instagram. @twoguysonlapdog. Let’s also get those voicemails in because the number connected to the Instagram account is directly linked to Host Ryan’s iPhone, so calls preferred when he is in class. Join us again on Thursday for your daily dose of the best self sinkers, metal straw users, and lawn couch sitters this side of iTunes, Spotify, and everywhere podcast can be heard.
Oct 23, 201838:27
Matt and Ryan Join a Union

Matt and Ryan Join a Union

Host Matt and Host Ryan come to you with their fifth podcast, the first of which on their regular posting schedule. They’ll start it off with their least popular segment “Bumble But With Other Things” (8:56-19:21) where they give their takes on mens fashion. Those of you who follow @twoguysonelapdog on instagram will know why that is so funny. They’ll once again take you through “Whats in the News” (20:03-31:20) where they debate whether or not to join a union and decide to choose a very outdated Damn Daniel reference as “What We Are Protesting This Week” (31:31-37:23). These “Weekend Warriors” (38:49-41:50) aren’t releasing another podcast until next Tuesday so listen now to the best podcast you’ve never heard of.
Oct 18, 201841:58
Matt and Ryan Pull Trigg

Matt and Ryan Pull Trigg

Host Matt and Host Ryan decide to release a fourth episode in one day. That’s right, your ears are being blessed with a fourth episode. They will give a “Weekend Recap” (4:59-11:27) for the second episode in a row, bring back “Bumble, But For Other Things” (11:47-22:27), and talk about “Whats in the News” (22:35-34:00) where they talk a lot about Cardi B. They also introduce the new segment “What We’re Protesting this Week” (34:04-41:26) because they are millennials and need to be outraged about something. Tune in next Thursday as this podcast gets to its normal twice a week episodes and keep up to see if Host Matt and Host Ryan can keep a regular posting schedule. Welcome to, hopefully not the last episode of the best podcast that you’ve now heard of.
Oct 16, 201842:21
Our Socks Are Waterproof

Our Socks Are Waterproof

Host Matt and Host Ryan release their third and best episode to date. They’ll go through their “Power Rankings” (6:17-17:20) for the do’s and don’ts of turning 21, head back into “The Dorm Room” (18:17-34:01) where somehow they’ll have room for a pool and a fire pit, and give you the “Weekend Recap” (35:45-42:02) where Host Ryan struggles to pronounce the word verbatim. Welcome to the best podcast that you have now kind of heard of because this is the third episode.
Oct 16, 201844:37
When Are We Getting Married?

When Are We Getting Married?

Host Matt and Host Ryan survived the first episode and decided to make a second. They’ll give you a play by play of their weekend in the accurately, if not somewhat lazily, named “Weekend Recap” (1:55-15:37), tell you the story about the time they almost got married in, “Whats in the News” (16:43-34:02), and digress into yet another conversation on who would kill who in an incredibly innovative segment that they have created called “Would You Rather” (35:45-43:31). Welcome back to the best podcast you’ve never heard of.
Oct 16, 201844:50
The Lapdog Bought A Beer Briefcase

The Lapdog Bought A Beer Briefcase

Host Matt and Host Ryan release their premiere episode of your new favorite podcast. Feel like you're sitting with them on their lawn couches as they give their takes on life with segments like "Bumble, But For Other Stuff" (1:47-16:00) and "The Dorm Room" (16:41-29:32), as well as their opinion on McGregor vs. Khabib (29:36-42:50) and who would ultimately win a host vs host fight to the death. Get your metal straws ready, grab your chihuahuas and crack open a cold one. Welcome to the best podcast you've never heard of.
Oct 16, 201845:18
The Pilot

The Pilot

Hosts Matt and Ryan answer the question you've all been asking: What is this podcast all about?
Oct 11, 201804:39