2 Moms 0 Attention Span

Alison (aka @alisonsaidno) is back this week to talk about the problems with filming and commenting on people and children in crisis to have a viral moment. We all discuss the viral video where the parents wrapped their child in Saran Wrap and filmed it for a "funny" viral video....However, the video went viral for the opposite reason the parents thought it would and there were very REAL WORLD repercussions for their viral moment. 

0:59- The child in Walmart having a meltdown 

3:00- People's first reactions to a child in distress

3:45- People chiming in on what they would have done, in a situation they have never been in 

5:50- That moment will be online for the child forever

6:20- Calling the police on a child in crisis 

8:30- Viral video of man having a meltdown- nephew speaks out 

12:30- Someone recording us in our lowest moment- and how would that feel 

13:00- Parents posting meltdowns for educational content 

15:50- Kids speaking out about their social media presence their parents created 

17:39- The Saran Wrap video 

19:50- Parents push these vids w/ kids further and further for views- 

20:00- The trauma of CPS being called 

26:00- The danger of a person with 1M followers doing this 

29:00- Being given the opportunity to exploit children for $

TT/IG- @alisonsaidno  /   @jesmartini @jes_martini

Today we dive in to the dangers of Social Media- the fun side of social media, and our behind-the-scene thoughts (as content creators) on how all of this effects our kids. 

1:30- Why as moms do we feel like we do everything and nothing all at the same time? 

3:30-Tips for getting started on social media if interested

4:30- The upside to social media 

5:20- Every adult is probably addicted to their phones 

7:00- What is the impact of our kids watching us not be present during the day? 

8:15- How do you feel about social media for your kids? 

10:00- Are we going to give these kids a pass for the embarrassing things they put on the internet as teens? 

12:10- We have monetized human attention

12:50- Attention span since starting social media 

14:20- "I love garbage" 

15:28- My worry for teens on social media- they don't ever get a break from "trying to fit in" 

17:30- Snapchat is the worst

18:50- One way to protect kids from dangers of social media 

You all probably know Menzennial from Tiktok where she narrates the Child's point of view in her "big feelings" series. Today we talk about the imperfections of parenting, unrealistic expectations we put on children, and the difficult parts of gentle/respectful parenting. Menzie always keeps it real, down to earth, and relatable...this episode is a ton of fun to listen to. 

1:27- Catching up with Menzie 

1:40- Story time about her child being lost! 

5:50- unrealistic expectations of children 

11:30- joining kids in the emotional dis-regulation

15:00- "No" is a powerful word

17:00- authoritarian parents often give in to a situation to regulate themselves 

21:00- Kids need structure and routine and count on the parents to provide that

24:00- kids should know the "why's" behind what it is they are doing- we need to develop those critical thinking skills 

27:15- Wrapping up with final thoughts 

FREE RESOURCE ALERT- Marcella and I will be hosting a masterclass with HIC Parenting- it will be February 21st- So, mark your calendar!! 

We talk today about parenting with understanding and parenting neurodivergent kids, as neurodivergent parents. 

We will be hosting a masterclass talking about 5 steps to working with our strong-willed or highly sensitive children. Marcella shares about her past growing up as a child undiagnosed with ADHD. She opens up about how she came to discover parenting with understanding and her journey raising children in foster care. This is an episode you won't want to miss! She has a very powerful story I think everyone should hear. Especially if you are feeling "these parenting styles won't work for my child". 

MARCELLA- Tiktok- @highimpactclub/ IG- @highimpactclub/ Youtube- HIC Parenting Education

Masterclass Registration Link-  https://masterclass.hicparenting.com/webinar-registration1673110500055?utm_medium=bio&utm_source=master_class_invitation&utm_term=mbio

 Mr. Chazz is an absolute wealth of knowledge for both parents and educators. He has a way of breaking down information in such a down-to-earth and obtainable way, you will absolutely leave this episode feeling both validated and confident in your parenting journey. Today we dive in to taking the first steps towards growth in your journey, allowing yourself to make mistakes, making space for children to make mistakes as well, and the challenges that face men specifically with gentle/respectful/conscious parenting.

2:05- Mr. Chazz breaks down how he became an educational specialist and what brought him to conscious discipline

4:46- Why is it that men tend to have a hard time with gentle/respectful parenting and the experience of men having to suppress emotions their entire life

7:15- It become engrained in men that it is not ok or safe to express emotions

8:30- Young children are like 90% emotion

10:20- The first step was realizing "this is not how I want to be"- and then the hard work comes in

13:30- Mistakes are an important part of the learning process

14:00- OOPS ( Our Opportunity to Problem Solve)

16:45- Teaching Perseverance

18:45- People have a tendency to treat little boys with more force than little girls

20:00- "This is why the men today are so soft"

24:00- Powerful Conversation that I got to witness in my own home

25:50- Punishment is NOT a requirement for learning- Kids learn a ton in these moments of connection

26:40- 7 Skills to teach children with Conscious Discipline

28:45- 2 Final thoughts from Mr. Chazz

1- See Child first before offering guidence

2- Perfection does NOT exist- the goal is not be perfect everyday, its to prove everyday

Tiktok- @mrchazzmrchazz / @jesmartini

Instagram- @mrchazz / @jes_martini

Youtube- @Mr. Chazz Mr. Chazz

Facebook- MrChazz MrChazz

Podcast- Mr. Chazz's Leadership, Parenting and Teaching Podcast

Kayleigh has created a space of solidarity and support for parents who are navigating parenting after trauma. She has a powerful story and message that all should hear. Having experienced a traumatic pregnancy of my own- I am so grateful for the space that she has created online. The ending is a MUST watch. 

0:30- Intro for Kayleigh

1:56- Kayleigh's birth story 

9:43- Waking up from the coma and meeting her son 

12:35- How did the trauma of the birth impact the first few months of parenting? 

15:50- Coming out on the other side and feeling like "this is who I will be for the rest of my life"

19:10- Struggling with your partner after trauma 

21:41- Having compassion for yourself 

24:00- Final thoughts before wrapping up 

25:33- Unspoken rule in motherhood- that you can't talk about something you are upset about when you are supposed to only be grateful 

If you are on social media- you know that teachers are having huge troubles in their classrooms- and a lot of this conversation happening revolves around parenting as well. Today, I talk with Heather- a 10 year veteran teacher- who was part of a nationally recognized teaching team. She has a huge focus on connection, relationships, and expectation for students and was able to share some amazing insight! 

2:16- The importance of getting to know all the kids

2:35- Teacher turnover

4:30- Does it have to do with new parenting styles? 

8:10- Tiktok and Social Media and what your kids are looking at 

11:30- Kids are so cool today 

12:47- Does gentle parenting effect the classrooms

17:00- Setting Expectations in a classroom 

18:00- Are kids less engaged? 

22:00- Gentle Parenting in the classroom 

27:00- 2 Truths and a Lie

This episode is chaos!  Today we talk about gentle parenting and social media for  preteens and young children.  

This is a new version of our show where we will have a new guest host every week!  This week we have Kayla ( aka kaylajaye_). She is known on Tiktok for her hilarious comedy, character skits, high kicks, and high energy but she is also one of my best friends and an amazing mother to 2 beautiful kids.   We also play FMK... ps. Sorry Scott D. Henry

Todays Episode: 

Intro- New Version of the Podcast 

Gentle-ish Parenting 

Misconception- If you are a gentle parent you can't use your own personality or sense of humor

Differences in how most people were raised and how their kids ask 

What does she think of gentle/respectful parenting online? 

Paying for views 

How long does it take to recover from a friendship breakup? Feels like a divorce 

Should you always take the high road? 

Listen to people close to you about red flags 

Joking around with your kids 

Redirecting little kids- harder with preteens 

She has Millions of Followers- does not allow social media 

We play FMK

We dive into expectations during the "holiday season" for ourselves, our kids, and others in our lives. 

0:15- Weekly recap

1:48- Random poll- Do you do stockings? 

3:08- Expectations around gift opening

4:15- Expecting kids to put on a big show for us 

5:28- Set expectations for kids ahead of time 

6:44- It's not a personal attack- it's just kids not knowing how to navigate these situations 

9:00- expectations for kids during the actual holiday events 

10:10- Feelings more lenient on holidays because day-to-day routine/expectations are well established 

11:00- Do you have a kids table? 

12:30- Preparing family members of our expectations in the moment 

14:00- Personal rules for electronics during the holidays 

18:15- Do you talk to kids ahead of time of expectations for behavior during the holidays? 

20:20- 1 Controversial Holiday opinion

Let's talk about mom burnout during the holiday season- is there a way to avoid it? How do we ask for help from others? 

2:15- Do you experience burnout during the holiday? 

3:20- Limiting the amount of pressure we put on ourselves 

8:06- Behavior from kids during the holiday season 

10:15- Not taking behavior personally when we are already spreading ourselves so thin 

13:40- Do partners pitch in the way they should? 

19:40- Things don't need to be perfect for kids to have a magical time

20:20- Viral holiday videos- scaring kids 

26:03- Let's Get Deep! 

Sarah- known as Momuncharted online, has been one of the loudest voices when it comes to bringing awareness to the dangers of online exploitation of children and parental oversharing. She was recently featured on the Dr. Phil show where she was able to share the message so many need to hear about the dangers of putting children online.  Today, we dive in exploitation of children on social media and how we, as the viewers, can make sure to help mitigate this problem, by refusing to consume this type of "entertainment". 

1:24- Is there a difference between sharing children online and exploitation? 

2:30- Parental oversharing

5:00- Potential bullying fodder 

7:40- What do you hope viewers change about their viewing habits? 

10:20- Parents control the narrative of the children- how easy it would be to paint some of these kids as a monster 

11:00- Nuanced conversation- awareness when it comes to our neurodivergent children and sharing meltdown videos 

15:00- Are there any protections in place? 

18:40- Kids in the spotlight exposed to REAL danger 

22:40- My personal mistakes sharing my kids 

24:00- Kids always in performance mode 

27:00- If you could pick one take away from the episode- what would it be? 

28:05- LETS GET DEEP- Game time! 

Today we explore all aspects of Respectful Parenting and Santa- Is it lying to our kids and should we be doing this tradition? 

0:11- Weekly check in 

1:29- Did our families do Santa? Do we do Santa with our kids? 

6:16- Addressing kids questions about Santa

7:02- Do you think Santa is in line with Respectful Parenting? 

8:50- Using Santa to have kids behaving

9:45- Horrible Holiday tradition we keep seeing popping up 

14:00- When your kids starts to figure out the truth about Santa 

17:20- Dangling the "nice" list in front of your kid

19:17- The strong- willed kids will call your bluff on the Santa lies 

20:00- Expectations for kids opening presents 

23:40- Lets Get Deeper- Game for couples but we decided to try it out 

Today we talk about the fact that there is absolutely no such thing as perfection in parenting. We share some of our most memorable "mom fails", what we do about "mom guilt", and how to move forward. 

0:18- Weekly Catch Up! 

2:23- Have you ever made any mistakes? 

3:31- This parenting style requires trial and error- which means there will be some ERROR 

4:40- Forgot the school uniform 

5:22- Finding a balance between validating feelings and coddling 

6:43- Jess- epic fail day 

9:40- When we start to see our parenting style in our kids 

10:50- I don't beat myself up forever over a mistake 

12:50- Being candid and continuing to show up after a mistake 

16:20- The big picture 

19:15- Kids give sincere apologies now on their own 

20:15- How these moments influence sibling dynamics

23:40- Our biggest mom fails to make you feel better about yours 

Socials: 

Tiktok- @jesmartini / @alisonsaidno

Instagram- @jes_martini / @alisonsaidno

Today we discuss having a code word with our kids for an added safety measure as they are growing and learning to navigate the world around us. Growing up Jess had a code word with her mom "pretty please" and the way that it worked is that if she ever got into a situation where she did not feel comfortable to use her own voice she could use her code word "pretty please" and her mom would know that she was actually supposed to say "no" to whatever was being asked or she was supposed to drop everything and come get Jess. This is not a replacement for teaching our kids to use their own voice- simply a precaution for if they are ever in a situation they do not feel comfortable to. We also discuss another use for code words with our littlest kids! 

0:14- Weekly Catch Up! 

1:45- Do you use code words with your kids? 

2:00- Jess discusses how a code word was used in her childhood

3:05- Alison discusses children with anxiety/social anxiety

4:50- The more they are prepared for situations the better they will do in them 

5:15- When do you start the code word? 

6:57- Code words with a spouse

9:45- Temperament matters and kids who have a harder time using their voice- still deserve protection

10:28- Adults have the luxury of just leaving 

12:30- How did the conversations start?

14:40- VIRAL video breakdown of the week 

(Video- 12yo boy destroys house over cell phone) 

16:45- Mom comes out with the truth of the viral video 

19:28- Viral video- girl puts color stain lipstick all over her face

20:30- Internet's dangerous obsession

Today we talk about grandparent privilege- our thoughts on when and how to set the boundaries when it comes to grandparents and our kids. 

0:18- Catch up for the week! 

1:36- What is Grandparent Privilege

2:45- Shocking thing a grandparent has done behind a parents back

3:40- How much trust does the parent have with he grandparent?

5:30- How Alison would create a boundary

6:00- Story time with Jess- creating boundaries with an in-law

10:00- "we're respectful parenting our parents"

11:50- If you're a grandparent trying to make amends...

13:00- Story time 

15:32- 2 Truths and a Lie! 

Today we go over when we started talking to their kids about their bodies, body autonomy, and who a safe adult it. We also go into sample conversations we have had with our kids to help protect them from grooming behaviors and to keep our kids safe in regards to their bodies in other ways. 

0:24- Highs and Lows for the week! 

2:00- The importance of using anatomically correct body parts 

3:55- Never forcing a child into affection even with family members

4:50- Opportunities that come about organically in childhood

7:05- Why we don't keep secrets and who a safe adult is 

9:20- No, Go, Tell, Keep Telling Method 

12:53- Going through situations we have been in 

16:36- 2 Truths and a Lie! 

Today we dive into bullying. We go over our experiences both as parents and as kids with this subject. We also give our number one way we believe we can help our kids protect themselves from the emotional impact bullying can have. 

0:12- Highs and Lows for the week

2:25- How do we help protect our kids? 

3:15- Learning how to help them handle the situations their own way

4:03- Jess- her #1 thought on how to protect kids from bullying 

5:45- Alison- Acting out scenarios

7:11- Making sure kids know they are allowed to defend themselves and practice doing it 

13:58- Acting out scenerios 

17:56- Practicing the scenerios

19:00- One of the biggest reason my husband got on board with Respectful Parenting 

20:50- GAME- F, Marry, Unalive 

Lots of people believe that gentle/respectful parenting is the same as permissive parenting. There is this idea that there are no boundaries or expectations for the kids and that they run the house... So, today we go through scenarios of what it would look like using permissive vs. respectful parenting. 

0:15- Highs and lows for the week 

2:30- Tantrum in a store- permissive vs gentle

2:50- 1 way to tell a tantrum vs meltdown

3:09- Permissive during a tantrum 

3:40- setting expectation ahead of time 

4:45- handling store tantrum- respectful parenting

7:25- Teens and curfews- permissive 

8:12- Teens and boundaries- respectful/gentle 

11:50- GAME- Everyone's favorite 90s sleepover game- F, Marry, U_alive! 

Today we go through the 3 most asked about scenarios in regards to gentle/respectful parenting. We cover holding boundaries from toddlers to teens! 

0:15- Highs and lows for the week 

1:45- How to handle phone situations with teens

4:08- When one child self-regulates electronics better than another

6:09- Talking about TANTRUMS

7:27- Co-regulation! 

8:40- Learning BASIC child development and what a child is actually ready for

9:45- Getting kids to clean their rooms!

11:20- Alison- story time about a struggle w/ executive function

12:58- Teaching every single step of a process until it becomes habit 

13:58- Organizing in a way that makes sense for THEIR brain 

17:28- Anxiety around care tasks 

19:09- GAME!! 2 Truths and a Lie! 

We talk about the big misconceptions about Respectful Parenting (*spoiler alert- its not permissive parenting) and the way that gentle/respectful parenting is portrayed on social media. 

00:10- Highs and Lows for the week

2:42- Misconceptions w/ gentle parenting 

5:35- Respect is not fear

8:15- Age appropriate behavior

9:55- Theres a fear of the future- kids will be weak/entitled

12:00- "Us vs Them" on social media

14:00- We need a name change 

15:44- GAME! Word association game!! 

Did our partners get on board with respectful parenting right away? Today we talk about getting a partner on board with a respectful parenting style and some of the mistakes we made along the way. We dive into parenting differently than our partners in the beginning and some stories about all of us learning and adapting over time. Enjoy! 

0:00- Catching up on our week- Our "highs" and "lows"

4:05- "Were you and Kenny always on the same page parenting?" 

5:28- Jess talking about her own dad learning along the way

8:11- Possibly one of the reasons why some men struggle with respectful parenting

15:44- A big mistake Jess made when her husband was starting gentle parenting

19:57- GAME- "Would you rather?"

Today we talk about parental oversharing, child exploitation on social media, and the dangers of showing our kids in vulnerable moments publicly online. 

So much goes into raising teens these days. Are we raising them to have boundaries? Respect for their own boundaries or others boundaries? What about vulnerable situations. How are we reaction to these things?  Are we encouraging mistakes but asking for help when needed. Are we assisting with open communications and expectations? 

We keep talking about it well lets learn more. How do we apply it what is it and how does it work?

How are our kids seeing validation? Are we providing that validation appropriately? Are we, as parents, seeing things one way?   Do our kids have the confidence to share things with us especially when safety and security might be in question?