How to Get the Girl: By the Ask Women Podcast

We’re throwing it back to one of our most downloaded episodes with none other than Alpha M, the #1 men’s lifestyle influencer, Aaron Marino.

In this conversation, we unpack the truth about confidence: where it actually comes from, why most guys fake it wrong, and how to build the kind of self-assurance that women feel before you even say a word.

We dive into:

• Why confidence has nothing to do with arrogance

• The grooming/style habits that change how you feel, not just how you look

• How small wins (not big achievements) create real swagger

• What to do when you're spiraling in self-doubt

• Why the “get out of your comfort zone” cliché still works—and how to do it without burning out

This one’s packed with clarity, no fluff, and high-impact takeaways for any guy ready to stop overthinking and start showing up like a man who knows his worth.

If you struggle to read women, constantly misinterpret signals, or feel like there’s a disconnect no matter how hard you try, this episode is for you.

We’re joined by Empathetic Leadership Coach Jevon Wooden to unpack the power of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and why it’s the missing link for so many men when it comes to connection, attraction, and trust.

We break down how emotional intelligence helps you actually understand what a woman is feeling, how to respond in a way that makes her feel safe, and why it’s the antidote to being seen as a “trauma dumper.”

You’ll learn how to:

• Gauge your own level of emotional intelligence
• Stop guessing and start getting women emotionally
• Connect in a way that’s confident, grounded, and magnetic
• Grow your EQ with simple tools and mindset shifts 

This one’s packed with gems, so you gotta listen. 

In this episode of How to Get the Girl (formerly known as Ask Women), Kristen and Marni are joined by certified sex therapist Dr. Tina Shermer to tackle one of the biggest silent confidence-killers for men: sexual shame.

Whether it’s shame around performance, desire, past experiences, or just not knowing what’s “normal,” this shame often goes unspoken — but it’s sabotaging your confidence, your connection with women, and your ability to feel powerful in your own skin.

Dr. Shermer breaks down where this shame comes from, how to reframe it, and what to do right now to stop letting it control your dating life. This episode is a must-listen if you’ve ever felt like your anxiety in dating or sex is coming from something deeper… because chances are, it is.

🎙️ Heads up! We’re playing around with new titles for the show! Right now, we’re rolling with "How to Get the Girl" by Ask Women, but stay tuned for another possible rebrand 👀

This week, we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood emotions in dating: jealousy. And no, it’s not always toxic. In fact, if you know how to use it, it can be one of the most powerful tools for increasing attraction, creating sexual tension, and deepening connection.

It’s time to STOP sabotaging yourself—and start asking for what you actually want. 

This week, we’re joined by Brad DeMint, host of the How to Win podcast and a powerhouse salesman who knows how to close deals and create clarity.

Brad breaks down the exact mindset shift that will help you stop playing small, speak up, and go after what you truly want—not just in dating, but in life. We also dig into why so many people don’t even know what they want, and how to finally get clear so you can confidently ask for it (and get it).

If you’ve ever held back, talked yourself out of something, or waited too long, this episode is your wake-up call.

This week, Marni is joined by the one and only Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions, for a no-holds-barred conversation all about the penis. From performance anxiety to erectile dysfunction, we’re breaking down the most common issues men face in the bedroom—and why it’s not just “in your head.”

Susan shares expert insights on what actually causes ED, how to regain confidence and sensitivity, and why the porn you’re watching might be sabotaging your sex life. Plus, we get into what women really want when it comes to intimacy—and spoiler: it’s not about being a porn star.

If you've ever felt insecure about getting or staying hard—or just want to up your bedroom game—this is the episode you didn’t know you needed.

Susan's resources:

This week, Marni and Kristen break down the jaw-dropping style moments from a men's networking event — where the men weren’t just dressed well... they were dressed like MEN. Smart. Sophisticated. And undeniably sexy.

The ladies dive into:

• HOW to dress in a way that makes her stop mid-sentence

• WHY certain looks make women feel giddy and drawn in

• WHAT it takes to turn the sidewalk into your personal runway

Because here’s the truth: how you dress tells the world how you treat yourself — with confidence, pride, and respect. And when you carry yourself like that, the world (and women) respond in kind.

Style isn’t just fabric. It’s your first impression, your silent introduction, and a powerful tool in attraction. Don’t miss this one.

Kristen and Marni are joined by special guest Kelly Tao, one of Marne’s original wing girls, for a powerful conversation on confidence—how to access the confidence already within you, how to keep it consistent, and how to let it multiply.

They also get real about age gaps in dating—and share their personal preferences about WHY dating older men can be desirable and WHY dating younger/the same age range can also be desirable so you have a better idea of what make you and your age-range appealing.

It’s honest, insightful, and full of practical tips to help you show up with more confidence and connection in your dating life.

What if changing just a few words could completely shift your confidence and attraction levels? In this powerful episode, we welcome back language and mindset expert Spencer Burnett to dive deep into the concept of precise language—how the words you think and say directly impact your ability to connect, attract, and show up as your most magnetic self.

Spencer breaks down how unconscious language patterns fuel anxiety and resistance—and then flips the script with a live, on-air language coaching demo with Marni. Watch (okay, listen!) as he rewires her inner dialogue in real time to eliminate approach anxiety using easy, practical shifts you can apply today.

This isn't just theory—it's transformation you can hear. If you've ever struggled with self-talk that kills your vibe before you even say hello, you need this episode in your ears.

🔥 Tune in to learn:

• The secret power of precise language

• How to eliminate approach anxiety through word choice

• Real-time mindset rewiring in action

This one’s a game changer.

Trauma - we all have it. Whether it’s loud and obvious or quiet and buried, your past experiences are shaping your present more than you might realize.

In this powerful episode, we’re joined by trauma expert Tori Helf (Janae), who breaks down exactly how to uncover the hidden traumas holding you back — and more importantly, how to release them so they stop running the show. From small emotional wounds to deep-rooted pain, we explore how trauma affects everything from your confidence to your dating life to your sense of self.

Tori shares real, practical tools for identifying and healing unresolved issues — so you can finally start living freely and fully.

In this episode, we’re joined by Celeste Hirschman, co-creator of the Somatica® Method and co-founder of the Somatica Institute. Celeste is a somatic sex coach who specializes in helping men and women create deeper, more connected, and more satisfying intimate experiences.

We dive into how you can become a detective in the bedroom—not by overanalyzing, but by tuning in. Learn how to pick up on what a woman likes, what she doesn’t, and how to test the waters in a way that feels confident, playful, and deeply attuned. Celeste shares actionable tips on how to explore and communicate desire without killing the mood, how to bring more sensuality into your touch, and how to come across as the sexy, grounded man women crave—without second-guessing yourself.

Whether you're just starting to explore intimacy or want to take your bedroom confidence to the next level, this episode will give you a new perspective on pleasure, connection, and what women actually want.

What if your “dark side” was the key to unlocking deeper confidence, attraction, and connection in your relationships?

In this episode, Adam Skoda — host of The Masculine Mindset Show, author of 77 Ways to Develop a Masculine Mindset, and creator of the Alpha Body Bootcamp Training Program — joins the show to explore the real power behind what psychology calls the “Dark Triad” traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.

We dive into:

• What the Dark Triad really means in the context of human attraction and female psychology

• How to channel “dark” energy in a healthy way to create polarity and deeper emotional connection

• Personal stories from our own relationships where embracing shadow energy created surprising breakthroughs

• A grounded, practical guide to shadow work — and how to do it without spiraling or getting stuck in shame

If you’ve ever felt like there’s a part of you you’ve been told to hide — this episode is your permission slip to bring it into the light (and use it well).

This week, we’re flipping the script on what you think women want.

We’re joined by charisma and hypnosis coach Wendy Packer, who shares how you can literally rewire your subconscious to become more confident, magnetic, and successful with women.

Wendy dives into practical, powerful tools to help you erase limiting beliefs and replace them with the mindset and identity of the man you want to be. (Yes - 'fake it till you make it' is real, and she’ll show you how.)

Whether you’re a man ready to level up or a woman curious about the inner workings of confidence and attraction, this episode has something for you.

We also break down and (over)analyze:

1. What makes someone truly charismatic

2. How to give your woman what she wants without losing yourself

3. Simple, powerful things you can say that instantly make you more lovable

…and so much more. This one’s packed.

In this juicy and eye-opening episode, we dive deep into the many ways women experience arousal - with a refreshingly honest look at the full spectrum of desire. Joined by sex and intimacy expert Melissa Louise, we explore the concept of arousal maps for both women and men, and how most of us have only scratched the surface of what's possible.

Whether you've been with your partner for years or you're just starting something new, Melissa shares powerful tools for communicating your wants, needs, and turn-ons in ways that feel safe, confident, and connected.

We also unpack the common myths about arousal, the options we didn’t even know were on the table, and why pleasure is never one-size-fits-all.

This one is equal parts educational, liberating, and empowering. You might never approach sex the same way again.

In this episode, we're joined by a bold, sexy woman in her 50s who’s single, self-aware, and not afraid to speak the truth about dating at this stage of life. We dive deep into what’s actually going on for women in their 50s—physically, emotionally, and romantically.

She shares what men are doing that works, what’s turning women off faster than you can say “hey beautiful,” and the kind of communication that truly feels attractive and emotionally safe. We also get real about how things like hormones, life experience, and shifting priorities impact how women date and what kind of connection they’re open to now.

If you’ve ever wondered how to better connect with women in their 50s or you're re-entering the dating world yourself, this conversation is packed with what you need to know to date in this age range successfully.

Need personalized coaching to get out of your dating rut??

Dating is challenging enough, so why make it harder by hiding your true self and not asking for what you want? This week, we’re joined by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, coach and therapist at GrowingSelf.com, who shares powerful insights on building self-confidence and showing up authentically in your love life. She also breaks down attachment styles - how to identify yours and what it means for your relationships. If yours isn’t serving you well, don’t worry, Dr. Bobby provides practical tools to help you shift toward healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Can your taste in music lead you to love? In this episode, we’re joined by Rachel Van Nortwick, creator of the dating app Vinylly, to dive into the power of music in romantic connections. We explore why sharing playlists might be more telling than answering dating profile prompts and how musical chemistry can spark real-life attraction.

Plus, we break down the transition from working together to dating - when it works, when it doesn’t, and how to navigate the shift without hitting a wrong note.

If you’ve ever bonded over a band or wondered if your favorite song could lead you to your person, this episode is for you.

Confidence isn’t just about what you say - it’s about how you say it. This week, we're joined by speaking empowerment coach Linda Ugelow, who reveals the subtle yet powerful ways you can show confidence to women through your voice, tonality, and presence while eliminating anxiety.

Learn how to make women lean in, listen, and think, Wow, that guy is confident—without trying too hard. We break down the psychology behind vocal authority, the small shifts that make a big impact, and why confidence is one of the sexiest traits you can embody.

Tune in now and start owning the room with your voice. 🔥

This week's episode with Dave Stultz from LimitlessBrave.com goes DEEP into what steps to take to EXPAND your world so you can meet more women. We also talk about HOW to meet them as well as masculinity - what's the perfect balance of it, how do you express it and why do women love it so much?

Show Update! We will now be releasing episodes every Tuesdays!

In this throwback episode, we have dating coach and matchmaker Laurel House host of Famously Single. We talk about pre-qualifying, what does it mean, how do you do it and what questions to ask so you don't waste your time and money on the wrong girls.

Women in their 40's are a HUGE category of women! Some are single moms, some are ball buster alpha females in the business world, some are wounded from past experiences with men.  So how do you navigate these muddy waters?  Our guest Heidi who works in the finance industry is going to tell you her experience as a single mom, kick ass business woman dating in today's world.  She'll tell you what works and what doesn't work. What to expect and what "things" really mean that come out of the mouth of a woman in her 40's. This was a great episode and even if you are a woman, you will learn something from this!

In this throwback episode, we have actress Catherine Urbanek with us to discuss how to handle heartbreak and rejection as Kristen got her heart a bit broken when reentering the world of dating after ending an 8 year relationship years ago. We all go through it at one point or another, so knowing that it's normal but moving forward and showing yourself grace and self love is the best way to grow so you can find your true love.

Figuring women out can be so hard, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE because you always have us. But, today you ALSO have sought-after dating coach for women, Kelsey Wonderlin on to give us EVEN MORE insights into women: what they say they want versus what they really want, how to be yourself AND the guy they want and on and on and on. This show covers it all!

This week, coach and fitness trainer, Martel Metellus shares with us his journey of becoming epically fit and seeing the behavior of women around him change in the process. And, no, it's not just because women drool over muscles, it's because they drool over someone who commands and earns respect. Yes, looking good plays a part, but in this episode you'll see how it's ultimately competence and confidence that will have the women come crawling.

What is the best time and best way to ask a woman out so that she is guaranteed to say YES??? Adam Gilad joins us to tell us how & when to ask a woman out and how to do it boldly. We also have sex therapist Aimee in studio and together we all discuss: 1. The #1 biggest mistake men make with women that has them losing out on countless opportunities with women 2. Tip and trick for how to quickly get over heart break 3. What NOT to do after you get rejection 4. How to handle rejection with class 5. When is the right moment to ask a woman out And so much more!

Today we're throwing back to an episode with dating coach, Bobby Rio, whose speciality is turning "nice guys" into desirable guys. He shoots you straight with the top 5 MOST ATTRACTIVE traits you NEED to have as a man and how to get them.

>>>To become the most witty, charming, attractive and polished version of yourself, schedule a free call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week we talk all about dating different aged women with our guest, licensed couples therapist and host of the podcast Insights from the Couch - Mental Health at Midlife, Colette Fehr. We dive deep into HOW to date younger women, IF you should date younger women, what age might be right for you and how to win her over.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty and charming, schedule a free call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week we talk about the after effects of COVID still vibrating through culture in the the form of isolation and how it's hurting you and your dating life. We talk about how to get more social and meet more people so we can get back to the healthy way of living life - with people.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty and charming, schedule a free call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week, we have a show packed with information that will help you understand your attachment style and if it's unhealthy so you can learn to change it so you can start attract healthier partners. The Attachment Expert, Adam Lane Smith has so much incredible knowledge and wisdom to impart on why we find ourselves dating people who aren't right for us as well as why presenting yourself with strength and integrity is so attractive to women and how simple it is to present yourself as and BE that man.

This episode is brought to you by Better Help.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty and charming, schedule a free call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

In this throwback episode, we have a listener join us who has a TON of experience with online dating. He shares with us the ups and the downs and the highs and the lows so you can avoid the mistakes he's made and get closer to dating online like a pro.

his episode is brought to you by Better Help.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty and charming, schedule a FREE discovery call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week we have Professor Sabrina Strings, the author of the Book "The End of Love" on the show to explores the collective collapse of traditional romantic love. We talk about what "romance" means today and why it may not actually be what we want and how to have the romance that you DO want.

This episode is brought to you by Better Help.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty and charming, schedule a FREE call with Kristen here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week, we take a deep dive into negative dating terms with Mason Farmani who is an intuitive personal coach, specializing in relationship and emotional healing. We talk about what these terms are, why they're being used so much and how to not let them effect you and your dating success.

This episode is brought to you by Better Help.

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty, charming, a master at banter, a pro at dating, and great at sexual escalation with Kristen, fill out the coaching application here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

Have you ever wondered what Tantra is really about? Have you ever heard about it? If you haven't, you should. That's where we come in. This week we have Alicia Davon from The Davon Method on the show. Alicia and her husband have been teaching this sexual yoga practice for 15 years and she's here to tell us all about why you NEED tantra in your life and why it's essential to to become present when interacting with women, both in and out of the bedroom

>>>To become MAGNETIC, witty, charming, a master at banter, a pro at dating, and great at sexual escalation with Kristen, fill out the coaching application here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

We have Dr. Joshua Spodek on with us who is also a dating coach. He's here to teach you how to be a LEADER with the ladies, one of the foremost traits women are looking for in a man. He's going give you the in's on how to get her to open up, be more comfortable around you, express her passions , all *without* being an interviewer or pick up artist.

We also talk about BJs, that's right! We're talking about how to get them and then how to get MORE of them.

>>>To become magnetic, witty, charming, a master at banter, a dating phenom and a pro at sexual escalation with a hands-on coach "on call" for you between weekly sessions, fill out the coaching application here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

This week, we talk about something you will most likely encounter at one point in life or another, and that is when a woman isn't feeling so "friendly" (our politically correct way of saying "bitchy"). Why do some women become bitchy? We'll tell you. But more importantly, our guest, Gianna Rackham, a female dating coaching, will tell you how to curb the bitchiness and use it to your advantage. We'll also talk to Gianna about how she was won over by her boyfriend who she didn't see originally as a boyfriend.

“This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ASKWOMEN and get on your way to being your best self.

>>To become MAGNETIC, witty, charming, a master at banter, a dating phenom and a pro at sexual escalation with a coach "on call" for you between weekly sessions, fill out the coaching application here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

To pursue or not to pursue? That is not the question. The question is HOW to pursue. This week we go deep into the topic of pursuing women and how to do it right so you don't come across as needy, but instead, a man after what he wants.

>>>THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY FLURE - AN APP THAT CONNECTS YOU WITH OTHERS LOOKING TO EXPLORE THEIR DESIRES. Sign up NOW at www.Flure.com/now

>>To become witty, charming, magnetic, and a master at banter and dating and escalation, apply here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

Laura Berman is an renowned American relationship therapist and television host. She is the host of In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman on the Oprah Winfrey Network and she is here to talk to us about that mysterious and magical thing we're always looking to create but never quite sure how: CHEMISTRY. She's going to tell us all about the science behind romantic chemistry, why it's created and most importantly, HOW to it on a first date, first encounter or even in that long term relationship that it disappeared from years ago.

>>>THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY FLURE - AN APP THAT CONNECTS YOU WITH OTHERS LOOKING TO EXPLORE THEIR DESIRES. Sign up NOW at www.Flure.com/now

>>To become witty, charming, magnetic, and a master at banter and dating and escalation, apply here: https://www.kristenandchilldating.com/coaching

The Banter Queen herself and the co-host and co-creator of Ask Women, Kristen Carney, is today’s “guest” of honor. Kristen has turned Banter and Playful Communication into a science and she, herself, a mad (banter) scientist - think Doc from "Back to the Future" - only not a dude and has never been atop a clock tower. However, she undoubtedly will make you feel like you're from the future with such advanced banter skills. And, Kristen has a natural knack to teach it better than any dating coach out there. After perfecting her methods for almost a decade, today she’s sharing with us the foundational skills you need to have in place to get out there and start having that flirty and teasing "ping-pong match" of words that will get her intrigued and attracted.

>>To become a MASTER at banter, have off-the-chart charisma and transform into an escalation pro, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

When a woman respects you, she is MUCH more likely to be attracted to you. This concept is often overlooked or forgotten about. Well, not this week! This week we dive DEEP into how to get respect from women. And, no it’s not by complimenting them or giving into their every need. It’s quite the opposite, actually. And, Alexandra Stockwell, MD, an Intamacy Coach and Marriage Expert, as well as host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast joins us to tell us exactly how. 

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

Friends aren’t always available to go out and hit the town with, especially as you get into the years where lots of friends start getting married or have long been married. So, this week, Rob from Sex Party Podcast joins the show to talk about HOW to go out by yourself doing it successfully so you can make the most out of your time alone. He gives us the goods on how to connect with people without your crew there to offer a safety net. And, he also talks about how to DISCONNECT FROM OUTCOMES so your carefree energy gives off confidence and desirability. 

Adam Gilad, author of "The Bold Life Tribe – a mastermind for bold living, graces us with his presence in this week's throwback episode. He's here to talk to us about how to be the confident guy who makes bold choices and asks women out. He's here schooling us on HOW to get her to say yes and WHEN to get her to say yes.

**** We have finished our summer hiatus and will be back with fresh shows starting September *****

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

One of our very own listeners, Omar, is struggling with his online dating profile, as so many people do. He's a foot surgeon and has so much going for himself but isn't expressing it in a way that draws the women in. So, in this week's throwback episode, we do one of our favorite old segments "Help a Brother Out" and walk him through improving not only his profile but the way he views himself.

*This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ASKWOMEN and get on your way to being your best self!*

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

This week we have Hilary Silver, a psychotherapist and owner of ReadyForLoveInc.com on with us to spill the beans on what successful and desirable women who are playing the field are really looking for and how to sweep them off their feet.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at

betterhelp.com/ASKWOMEN and get on your way to being your best self.

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

The Ask Women Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Dr. John joins us to talk all about masculinity and male socialization on this week's throwback episode. He'll also cover pursuing happiness, how to have and express just the right amount of vulnerability as well as how to be your masculine self in the 21st century.

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

The Ask Women Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

This week, world renowned Dating and Relationship Consultant Race DePriest from AttractionRockstar.com. He explains how to get a woman to LUST after you and see you the way you want her to - sexually. He also shares 5 Lust Triggers toward the end of the episode so make sure to listen to the end. You don't want to miss them!

>>To become MAGNETIC, charming, witty and a master at banter and dating, book a FREE call with Kristen Here: https://calendly.com/kristenandchill/magneticmanstrategysession

We have dating former dating guru, Michael C. Fiore from Modern Day Romantic, also known by his real name and as an expert communicator working as a highly regarded copywriter, Chris Haddad on the show this week. Chris gives us all the communication pointers and skills that you need to successfully emote with women so you can woo her with your charm and vulnerability. And, he also shares how to express yourself and keep communication strong if you're in a committed relationship.

David Shade joins us to discuss HOW to date younger women.  David is in his mid 70's and has a girlfriend in her 20's.  Impossible you say?  Listen to find out how he attracts younger women :)