The Curious Mind

After Putin's attack on Ukraine parents are faced with the issue of explaining to their children what is going on. This is a short primer with background information and practical examples.   For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

After we introduced in the first part Frankl and his classic book "Man’s Search For Meaning" we now focus on the therapeutic method he established. We discuss the main priciples of Logotherapy, its philosophy, application, and limits in the therapeutic practice. For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

In this episode we introduce Frankl's classic title "Man’s Search For Meaning", the historical background, and the existential aspect in psychotherapy. While existential philosophy has been known since the mid 19th century through thinkers like Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and Dostoevsky, the existential aspect has been introduced into psychotherapy only later - most prominently through Viktor Frankl. He was an Austrian Jewish psychoanalyst who had to endure for years the imprisonment in concentration camps, which strenghthened his focus on the meaning of life and its application in psychotherapy, which later came to be known as Logotherapy. For an outstanding description of the living conditions in Auschwitz see: Hermann Langbein "People in Auschwitz". And if you wonder about how prisoners in concentration camps dealt with their faith I can recommend the thesis of Flavia Giuffra: “Was God Behind the Barbed Wire? An Inquiry into Jewish Faith and Practice in Auschwitz” For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

In this concluding session with "Hanni" we reflect on how to get away from the pain which comes from a lack of appreciation. Hanni wishes to be emotionally independent and yet finds herself feeling hurt, which in turn creates one of the mind-loops which keeps up the pain at the background of her mind. One pragmatic idea we discuss is to visit some sort of support group, which has the advantage of the company of well-meaning people in a safe space which makes it relatively easy to open up. On a more profound level I suggest Hanni to go to the point of pain (for example "maybe I'm not worthy of love") and to first of all acknowledge that this is what she feels - and thus to benefit from the strength and self-appreciation that comes with such an honest look at those voices within her that crave for recognition and yet she intuitively so much wishes to eradicate. For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

As it became clear in the first session, Hanni struggles with feelings of self-criticism which work in the background of her mind and color her mood and experience negatively. Yet, these feelings are rarely in the foreground and it is thus not clear to her what the content of the self-criticism actually is. Hanni sometimes sees that in the background the mind is actually repeating uncomfortable situations on a loop, but it's difficult for her to catch and remember them. I encourage Hanni to bring those loop-memories to the foreground and and write them down in order to find out which set of convictions they are feeding. In this session we also see that Hanni sometimes disconnects: her mind is occasionally blocked in the first half, and she has difficulties to get out of it and articulate herself. Such issues of disconnect in-the-moment would be essential to investigate within a longer-term therapy, but preparing our mere three-session-arch we agreed not to work on such deeper issues and to focus on more pragmatic emotional, cognitive, and communicative aspects instead. For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

This is the first of three sessions with Hanni, an expat living in Western Europe. She's in her early 40s and currently single. She struggles with her past and a mental setup that leads to several issues, for example self-judgment, a sense of isolation, and persistant feelings of discomfort. In such a case we of course don't have the expectation to solve these issues in three sessions. But it might be interesting for the listeners to get a glimpse into a complex case and how to reflect it. In this first session we start to explore these topics and see which themes emerge as the most important ones. For more information see https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and for therapy sessions contact me at therapy@gabriel-ellis.com

In this episode I have the pleasure of talking with psychologist and historian Dr. Ulrich Koch from the George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences. We reflect on the concept of psychological trauma, how it has evolved in history, and the different ways it is understood today.   Here are some interesting publications about the concept of psychological trauma:   Ulrich Koch (2021). Between Social Criticism and Epistemological Critique: Critical Theory and the Normalization of Trauma. https://utorontopress.com/9781487508968/languages-of-trauma  Ulrich Koch (2014). Schockeffekte. https://www.diaphanes.net/titel/schockeffekte-2486  Ruth Leys (2000). Trauma. A Genealogy.   Allen Young (1996). The Harmony of Illusions: Inventing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.   Get updates about new videos by subscribing to this channel. And for more information and requests for therapy contact me at https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/

It is relatively common in our society to find services of self-development addressed at women. But what are the possibilities for men to explore their identity and self-develop? In this conversation with therapist Joachim Wehnelt we address common issues in the development of men and reflect on his work with the online community for men "Brothers of Heart".   Find more about Joachim's work here: https://www.siebensinne.net/english/  Together with his partner Juliana Joachim also offers the workshop "Wild Peace" in which women and men develop the feminine and the masculine together: https://www.siebensinne.net/wild-peace/ For feedback, requests, or therapy sessions contact me at https://www.gabriel-ellis.com https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com Find the video version of the podcast here: https://youtu.be/YKQPTDRsRPI

The defining aspect of being an expat is literally to be away from home (Latin "ex patria"). There are many expats who, like me, enjoy to live abroad. Others are abroad mainly for work or accompanying their partner.  It leaves however nobody unaffected and is for some people a real problem to be away from one's native culture, from old friends and family.   Over three weeks I was conducting therapy sessions on this range of topics with "Anna" who additionally faces a complex family dynamic which makes it difficult for her to reconnect with her family of origin. This is the last episode in our short series in which "Anna" gives us an insight into her development so far, how the therapy sessions helped her, and the tasks that lie ahead of her.   Find the previous parts and other episodes on the podcast channel and subscribe for the next parts.  More details on my therapy and research: https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

The therapeutic process is complex and often unique to each client. The goals are to reduce mental pain, increase quality of life, clarity, and deeper understanding of oneself. If you haven't had therapeutic support in your life you might wonder what actually happens in sessions and how "just talking" is supposed to bring about a positive change. As my sessions with "Anna" show, the talking is an important part, but not sufficient in itself. Her general motivation to change, her honesty, and a different kind of reflecting and acting are just as essential as the deep reflection that happens in the therapy sessions. Join us for the first part of the last session with "Anna", her insight into her family structure, and how she plans to re-introduce herself into her family of origin as a relevant voice that can enrich the lives of her family and herself. Find the previous parts and other episodes on the podcast channel and subscribe for the next parts. More details on my therapy and research: https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

What does a real therapy session look like? That’s what I demonstrate with clients in my Therapy Recording Series. You'll witness the development of clients directly and understand therapeutic principles on an actual case. This is the second part of the second session with "Anna". Here, she continues to explore especially the relationship with her siblings. Check out the previous parts on the podcast channel and subscribe for the next parts. More details on my therapy and research: https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

What does a real therapy session look like? That’s what I demonstrate with clients in my Therapy Recording Series. You'll witness the development of clients directly and understand therapeutic principles on an actual case. This is the first part of the second session with "Anna". Here, she continues to explore her family dynamic and her role in it. Check out the previous parts on the podcast channel and subscribe for the next parts. More details on my therapy and research: https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

If you haven't listened to it yet, please check out part 1 of my first session with "Anna" (https://youtu.be/X47ODjcasUI). There, she started reflecting on the idea of "home", her life outside of the US, her habit to frequently move locations, and the lack of contact with her family of origin. We jump back into our conversation where "Anna" describes her difficulty to relate to the US lifestyle. You can find more details about my work at https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/therapy

Many people suffer from mental issues and yet avoid or wait too long before they seek treatment. With the Therapy Recording Series I want to contribute to normalize therapy and provide a realistic glimpse into what happens in therapy sessions. I record three therapy sessions with "Anna", each split in two parts. In our conversations we focus on the alienation that can occur as a consequence of an expat life abroad. You can find more details about my work at https://www.gabriel-ellis.com/therapy

When we read about spirituality or meditation, we usually encounter the 'advertisement' version of a straight blissful and eventually successful journey. In this conversation I discuss with long-term meditator Amiran what is in many cases more probably the case: a complex, not-at-all straight journey which isn't as advertised but can still be deeply rewarding. For feedback, requests, or therapy sessions contact me at https://www.gabriel-ellis.com https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com Find the video version of the podcast here: https://youtu.be/XBUINBLtgL8

I discuss with mythologist and depth psychologist Dr. Catherine Svehla the 'Myth of Unlimited Human Potential', the problematic impact it has on us, and what is a psychologically more wholesome way to integrate myths into our lives. You can find out more about Catherine and how to work with her on https://mythicmojo.com​. There you can also find her biweekly podcast "Myth Matters". If you have questions or requests regarding my podcast, or are interested in therapy sessions with me, take a look at https://www.elliscounselling.com/​ or contact me at gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com or https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

We continue our previous discussion about myths and tackle the following questions: "What can we actually do if we want find our purpose in life?" "Can we actually experience transcendental spiritual concepts?" "How are spiritual practice or psychedelics connected to spiritual myths or to actual reality" For feedback, requests, or therapy sessions contact me at https://www.elliscounselling.com https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com Find the video version of the podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eiZtTleaTw Transcripts of the interviews of Bill Moyers with Joseph Campbell: https://billmoyers.com/series/joseph-campbell-and-the-power-of-myth-1988/ You can purchase the Campbell videos on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Campbell-Power-Myth-Moyers/dp/B07BC2VHHJ

Myths are powerful narratives that have helped to structure the lifes of humanity as far as we can reach back in time. In this conversation we discuss some fundamental aspects of myths from a contemporary psychological perspective.   For feedback, requests, or therapy sessions contact me at https://www.elliscounselling.com https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com   Find the video version of the podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eiZtTleaTw  Transcripts of the interviews of Bill Moyers with Joseph Campbell: https://billmoyers.com/series/joseph-campbell-and-the-power-of-myth-1988/ You can purchase the Campbell videos on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Campbell-Power-Myth-Moyers/dp/B07BC2VHHJ

In this interview I answer common questions about therapy and therapists, for example "Does every therapist have a degree in psychology?", "Can therapists read other people's minds?", or "Are therapists exceptionally empathetic?"... Write your questions and feedback into the comment section below, and if you're interested in sessions contact me at gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com or visit my website www.elliscounselling.com

Living abroad is challenging and rewarding: a new culture, language, and adventure, but also potential isolation, stress, misunderstandings, and bureaucratic obstacles. In this conversation with recruitment specialist and digital nomad Christopher Schauf we make complex observations on personal and shared experiences of living abroad. Check out Christopher at https://www.recruitingresults.de For comments, questions and requests contact me at https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling

I look back on eight years as an expat therapist, the specific challenges expats face and why I have developed a particular approach to work with them. For therapy sessions, comments, and suggestions visit my website https://www.elliscounselling.com Or contact me here: https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

The 'Inner Critic' is a common mental judge for many people. This function of the so-called 'Super-Ego' is well-known yet still needs more clarification. I distinguish two types of Super-Ego and Inner Critic: One is the 'Ideal Self' and makes us do things we ultimately enjoy. The second is the 'Ought Self' which makes us do things out of self-imposed obligation and duty - in best case such a fulfillment leads to pride but not to a vital joy and satisfaction. For therapy sessions, comments, and suggestions contact me here: https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

In spiritual literature we often find an odd positive spin on ‘hopelessness’ and ‘death’. Both are usually horrifying experiences and we would be mad to seek them out. But then those spiritual teachers seem to insist on their spiritual values. This can easily be misunderstood – if we went into these states of mind without good preparation they would indeed have a devastating effect. What they mean is something else: When they say ‘Hopelessness’ it means ‘taking responsibility for my life, and not hoping that someone or something else will come to my rescue’. And when they portray ‘death’ in a positive light then it means either to let go of old dysfunctional parts of myself, or to come to terms with the fundamental impermanence in our lives. For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/

In this conversation with tech entrepreneur and overall curious mind Adrian Avendano we explore general strategies to life: When is it useful to stay focused on a topic (e.g. at work) and possibly become rigid, and when is it better to explore freely with the danger to become unproductive and lost? We explore the nature of flow states and how these states of unified freedom can infuse our lives with a sense of general satisfaction. You can check out Adrian at https://adrianavendano.medium.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/adrianavendano

Even when we are not consciously interested in personal development we have to overcome difficult situations in which we are confronted with our limitations. Be it at work or in our personal life - we reach the end of our wits, and then we typically say or do something stupid, or feel inadequate, or embarrass ourselves. Some of these experiences of insufficiency can haunt us. Next to psychological approaches also meditation practices can bring relief in such cases, because in meditation we learn to emotionally detach from these painful memories. But if we 'meditate well' do we stop caring? Does then also our motivation vanish to actually change our behavior, to learn, and grow? For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/ This episode starts a series of conversations about Buddhism-based psychology, loosely based on the book "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chödrön.

In this episode we discuss different categories of personal crises and which cases could benefit from a spiritual, a psychological, or a pragmatic approach. It turns out that it's not easy to figure out which approach would be best - observe quietly or get active. And even a 'spiritual' approach is not just easy contemplation but actually needs a lot of skill. We further deconstruct crises and how to tackle them. For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/ This episode starts a series of conversations about Buddhism-based psychology, loosely based on the book "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chödrön.

Fear and anxiety belong to the most common mental issues people suffer from (that includes specific and general phobias and OCD). What is a good attitude towards them - should we accept them as a part of life, or rather try to get rid of them entirely? Obviously a good answer is somewhere in the middle. In this episode we reflect on how to regard fear, and the basic psychological and spiritual perspectives. This episode starts a series of conversations about Buddhism-based psychology, loosely based on the book "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chödrön.  For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/

As the pandemic affects most of us in one way or another it also changes the way we look at the future. Do we have to expect these kinds of global disruptions regularly. How do I want to factor that into my personal and business plans? What seemingly is a challenge mostly for health, work, and parenting, also sheds new light on the mental and psychological aspects of our planning. Therefore, in this conversation we reflect on the proper attitude towards planning and the future. For suggestions or online sessions contact me at gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com or visit www.elliscounselling.com

In the previous episode I focused on the fundamentals of self-love. This time I introduce the threefold structure of self-love with the perspective on past, future, and present. These three need specific approaches, and so in this episode I detail the approaches and describe exercises that can help with applying self-love on a practical level. This episode is part of my series about Buddhism-based Therapy. What are your specific questions about Buddhism-based Therapy? Send them to buddhism.based.therapy@gmail.com and I might discuss them in future episodes.

Self-love has become a common concept in wellness and therapy, it has even become sloganized. In contrast I claim that there are several issues with this concept, mostly a vagueness about its fundamental tenets. In this first part about this topics we discuss some of these basics and a way to proceed with more clarity. This episode is part of my series about Buddhism-based Therapy. What are your specific questions about Buddhism-based Therapy? Send them to buddhism.based.therapy@gmail.com and I might discuss them in future episodes.

In this final episode about Adlerian Psychology we focus on why it is important to "process what happens" - something that Adler was rather dismissive about. Apparently it is often important to understand ourselves and the people around us better before we can 'move on'. Otherwise we lose the connection to our actual needs and get stuck where we are.

We build on our first conversation about Adlerian Psychology and focus in this episode on the concept of 'the courage to be disliked'. We discuss it from different angles and come to the conclusion that it has to be reframed in order to make sense. The discussion is partly based on the two books: "The Courage to be Disliked" and "The Courage to be Happy", both by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. For suggestions or online sessions contact me at https://www.elliscounselling.com

Alfred Adler was a contemporary of Freud and for several years influenced by his thought. He then went on to develop the movement of 'Individual Psychology'. This movement became influential, both in therapy and pedagogy and is still important today in self-development and inspirational psychology. We discuss some Adlerian thoughts today based on two books: "The Courage to be Disliked" and "The Courage to be Happy", both by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi.  For suggestions or online sessions contact me at https://www.elliscounselling.com

Today I have a conversation with Jennifer Araneo who is a Mind Body Guide in Hoboken, NJ. Jennifer uses different healing techniques and helps her clients to connect mind & body to manage stress and anxiety. In our conversation we highlight differences and similarities in our approaches to healing and integration. Find more details about Jennifer at https://www.mindbodyhoboken.com. And if you are interested in online sessions with me, please visit https://www.elliscounselling.com.

This episode is a discussion of Stoicism and self-development. In the conversation we explore some of the key points of this popular philosophy. We further debate which of the lessons from stoicism are more philosophical in nature, which are more practical, and how it all relates to the psychology of self-development. The book mentioned is: "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy", by William B. Irvine. For comments, suggestions, or sessions contact me here: https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

As books in previous centuries movies and films capture our imagination and influence the public discourse - and thus influence what we think and do. This general premise serves as a background for my interview with Robert Meyer Burnett who is a producer, director, and overall movie enthusiast. Robert highlights in our conversation the opportunities of new media and youtube creators to produce content that informs and entertains a wide audience even better than many high-budget studio productions do. Check out Robert's youtube channel THE BURNETTWORK: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4YIKjJU7wT9wnunmz3dWAw And if you are interested in podcast episodes regarding specific psychotherapy or psychology topics let me know: gabriel.ellis.counselling@gmail.com

In this special episode I offer a first introduction to a therapeutic framework I developed over the past years, in which I integrate psychotherapy and detailed research into original Buddhism and meditation. What are your specific questions to Buddhism-based Therapy? Send them to buddhism.based.therapy@gmail.com and I will discuss them in future episodes.

In this episode I talk with intimacy coach Agnieszka Szeżyńska about intimacy and sex issues that come up regularly and are yet perceived by the individuals and couples as problems that are specific to them. In these cases social scripts ("be dominant!", "have foreplay!"...) make us chase false standards, obstruct open communication, and complicate our sex life. For online therapy or counselling visit: https://www.elliscounselling.com/ Visit Agnieszka's website: https://coachingintymnosci.pl/en/ And check out Agnieszka's recently published book "Intimacy Workshops" (in Polish)

In this interview we reflect on basic approaches to family life during the Corona-crisis with its restrictions and limitations. It is not so much an abstract psychological discussion (which I will do in the next episode) but rather a glimpse into a well-functioning family process and what can be learned from it. For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/

This episode is the recording of a live-session about the topic of self-acceptance. In this one-hour conversation it becomes apparent that the issue is not fully clear yet. By following some threads I get a better understanding of the big picture and towards the end it starts 'to click'.

There is a logic to self-development and the success in therapy, and in this episode I reflect on three preconditions I'd like to highlight: 1. Truthfulness towards myself, 2. Wishing myself well, and 3. Taking responsibility for my journey.

In this episode I discussed a very common issue: overthinking. There is no simple button to switch the thoughts off, no technique and no trick. Instead, we have to be courageous and listen to the voices in our mind and take responsibility for solving the issues actively. For online therapy visit https://www.elliscounselling.com or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling/

Today I continue two threads from previous episodes: The 'Real', how to approach it, and what it has to do with meditation. For online therapy visit: https://www.elliscounselling.com/ or https://facebook.com/elliscounselling

In this episode I provide a basic background to meditation and discuss an aspect which is necessary in order to make our meditation successful - the 'mental home'. This is the place we usually occupy in our mind and which we need to change so that the meditation serves as a real 'vacation', to support our self development and the experience of joy... For online therapy visit: https://www.elliscounselling.com and https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

Today I discuss some complex concepts which might be interesting for people who want to understand deeper levels of psychology. It is also a glimpse into the 'software' of our consciousness underneath the mere thoughts and feelings. For more check out: Bruce Fink, 'The Lacanian Subject' or Sean Homer, 'Jacques Lacan' (2005). For online therapy visit: https://www.elliscounselling.com/ https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

In an interview with a client we reflect on his experiences of going back to the US after living in Poland/Warsaw for a few years. We alternate between very specific experiences and general observations which apply to many expats. For online therapy or counselling visit: https://www.elliscounselling.com/ https://www.facebook.com/elliscounselling/

I take a very specific look on how issues with parents are structured. I pay special attention to why necessarily mental problems are a consequence of a resentful attitude towards parents and which attitude would be more beneficial. For online therapy or counseling visit: www.elliscounselling.com or www.facebook.com/elliscounselling.

I am describing three typical issues I have come across with mixed expat couples, couples consisting of a local and an expat partner. For online therapy or counseling visit: www.elliscounselling.com or www.facebook.com/elliscounselling.