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The Gym Rant: Fitness Humor

The Gym Rant: Fitness Humor

By The Gym Rant
Hilarious weekly or biweekly warped angry fitness RANTS for everyday gym goers. We “RANT” about common annoyances experienced on a daily basis in the gym. Once a week (sometimes more) we make fun of and discuss fitness & gym stereotypes, workouts, steroids, fad diets, nutrition hypes and MORE! No stereotype is safe, we will hit them all, from every side. Visit us at TheGymRant.Com, Call Us at (916) 365-2528
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Online Fitness? Really!?!?
“Gym are dead” said the same people that said car dealerships were a thing of the past and that dating online through apps was the answer to singles people’s prayers. Buuuut what happens when you have questions for a car expert ? Does you pre qualification car sales app fulfill that need? What about not having social skills or only taking shoulders up shits for your dating profile? I guess meeting in person and having decent in person skills is actually inevitable isn’t it!?!? SAME FOR GYMS!
September 25, 2021
But were you FAT though?
How relatable are 99.9999% of personal trainers? How many have actually struggled with body fat!?!? I mean really actually struggled, not just toning some lose extra pathetic amount of “fat”. But were they actually fat though? Truthfully No! Most trainers and fitness professionals have ZERO idea what it means to be fat!
July 08, 2019
STEROID HATE: Why You Hate Steroid Users
This rant outlines 2 main reasons (combine the 2 for a 3rd reason) why you might hate on steroids. You can always dive deeper in to the weeds but it really does boil down to two reasons why you hate on them. This comes from a place of experience, not just ranting judgement!
June 03, 2019
FREE? Consumers claim to HATE bait and switch but for some reason swallow HORSE SHIT like Free Fitness Challenges and dig in to the BS pile waist deep and shovel the crap in to their mouths with two spoons. I’m SICK of gyms tricking people in to ASININE inflated membership fees for a “FREE FITNESS CHALLENGE”, WAKE UP PEOPLE!!
April 12, 2019
Annoying New Members? New Year Resolution?
Join me on my RANT about the REAL concerns with new memberships, New Year Resolution gym members, gym crowdedness and the Gym Industry's view on it all. Trust me you will be surprised, you may not hear the ranting and bashing on what you think you would!
January 29, 2019
Envy feels like SHIT and will eat your soul! We go in to how destructive this is and how it takes over people when seeing success, fitness results or upswings in careers paths. Dive in to a long over due RANT about Envy, Pride & Corporate Assholes in the gym. 
January 24, 2019
Bitches Be Crazy!
Join the Big Booty Barbie and I on a Rant about girls (& guys) acting insecure when a significant other starts working out. We cover examples of things that are said, crazy sh*t that's said and what our opinion is on it! We also get off track about how Instagram & Social Media may be to blame for the insecurities women and men have with their partner going to the gym! The Big Booty Barbie doesn't hold back this time, as if she ever does! Enjoy and RANT ON!
October 31, 2018
Proper Gym Personal Space
In this episode we attack proper personal space and proper etiquette when choosing gym equipment & machines. This was brought on by a final weird experience recently in a big box gym. People, stick to your own personal space and stay out of each others if you can help it!
October 23, 2018
Instant Therapy Session: Who Cares About You? (Bonus Series)
This will be one of many "Instant Therapy" bonus episodes that will be released. During these Instant Therapy sessions it is our goal to give it to you straight, trim the fat, not sugar coat anything and give you tangible opinionated theories that just might help some people out. No mumbo-jumbo self help crap or ooshee-gooshee junk to make you feel warm and cozy from the snowflake type feelings you have been feeling. Get over it! Congratulations, you're cured!
October 08, 2018
Gym Drunkenness, Special Guests & The Big Booty Barbie
Special episode featuring "Hashtag Pound Sign Not Ractist Irish Ryan" and his wife "Christine Killa-Mutha-Fugga Bolen"! We try our best to stay on topic in the new gym studio but too many cocktails may have prevailed! We discuss Locker Room Etiquette, male ball/crotch scratch techniques (such as the pinch & pull), locker room skanks, self conscious silicone wannabes and more! We don't stick to much of any subject and have a fun time doing it! If you want a good laugh tune in to this longer than normal Drunk With Friends Gym Rant!!
October 01, 2018
BONUS: Stop Bitching, Quit Excuses & Shut Up!
RANT WHILE DRIVING! ANGRY Bonus Episode! Join me on this last minute, random RANT which was recorded from the car during one of my morning commutes! I just heard one bullshit excuse too many and finally lost my shit!! There is always time to work out! Always time to exercise! There is never an excuse not to, so quit your bitching and stop giving me excuses!
September 24, 2018
STEROID use in Cops & First Responders
Controversial stuff here! You wanted it and now you got it! Join this RANT topic about STEROID use with Cops, Law-Enforcement & First Responders! Visit us at and follow us on Facebook & Instagram @TheGymRant !!!
September 20, 2018
Planet Fitness Review
Here we go! Another loaded episode for you! This episode comes at a request from a listener to give an opinion on Planet Fitness, they assumed that I would like the way Planet Fitness practices business. Well, in this episode I let Planet Fitness have it with some of my opinions as well as give positive feed back for things they do right. Planet Fitness is known for some hypocritical practices as well as being the #1 commercial fitness facility to be made fun of. This episode is full of a lot of good info, not just criticism!
September 13, 2018
BONUS: Is Using Steroids Cheating?
BONUS RANT ALL! In this BONUS RANT you hear opinions on whether STEROIDS or Performance Enhancing/Performance Image Enhancing Drugs is considered cheating. Brought on by some engaging conversations over coffee after the gym with some really good people!! RANT ON ALL!!!!
September 07, 2018
Gym Flirting? Don’t Flatter Yourself
Holy crap! Who else is sick of women thinking they're being hit on in the gym? This RANT is about all that and more! Being notified that you left your phone on the machine is not some guys way of trying to hit on you! Get real!!!!!! You are not being flirted with, you are not being hit on, do NOT flatter yourself!
September 05, 2018
Steroids, Myths, Truths, Q/A & Gym F*ckery
This episode dives in to the frustrations experienced with the severe lack of basic STEROID use identification & education! Join me on my RANT down the road about the ridiculous assumptions people make about people OBVIOUSLY on STEROIDS. Just because someone isn't MASSIVE it doesn't mean they aren't on STEROIDS, just because someone isn't RIPPED it doesn't mean they aren't on STEROIDS, just because someone is "skinny" (per say) it doesn't mean they aren't on GEAR! I also do some audience Q & A. This is a fun more "laid back one person discussion" RANT and I hope you enjoy!
August 29, 2018
Top Health Hacks! Or not?
Today we RANT and dive in to the over used, watered down term- "HACK"! Everything is a HACK now? Click bait ads everywhere are using the term "HACK" to draw in crowds to everyday useless (or novice at best) supplements, diets, workout routines and online training. It is all a hack of SH!T these days!
August 16, 2018
THE DAD BOD - The New, Do You Even Lift!?
Dad Bod? Is there even one solid definition of what a Dad Bod officially is!?!? We're SICK of hearing the term Dad Bod! Join us for a RANT about this STUPID term which is being thrown around all over social media, receiving video attention on YouTube and more! The ladies get hit HARD with some straight up TRUTH too!
July 31, 2018
Gym Crew Douchebags
This RANT got a little angry! Join me on my RANT on Gym Crews Vs Workout Partners, the difference and what makes Gym Crew Douchebags! I lay it on THICK for these loud idiots in their matchy matchy coordinated outfits!
July 17, 2018
Hotel Gyms SUCK!
24hr Fitness Center my ASS!!!! Join me on my RANT about the hotel industry's BULLSHIT claims to have a "24hr Fitness Centers" at their lodging institutions! We all know 8 out of 10 hotels that claim to have a "Fitness Center" have some BULLSHIT excuse for a gym or even a exercise room! For those of us who travel this REALLY SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!! Please be sure to visit us at !!!
July 11, 2018
Spandex & String Tank Tops!
We RANT HARD on the Broga Pant wearing douchebags and the Sting-Kini wearing idiots in the Gym. MY Co-Host, the Big Booty Barbie, lays it on THICK for douchebags thinking they are BAD ASS for wearing these stupid outfits in the gym! Tune in for a laugh!!!!!
July 03, 2018
Short Shit Guys & Steroids
Join us on a RANT about the Napoleon Complex, Short Shit, Junior Juice Headed, Small-Man Syndrome idiots in the gym! It is time someone lays it out and lays it on THICK for these morons. Join us and have a laugh!
June 28, 2018
Imaginary Lat Syndrome or ILS
Join us for Episode 5, a bonus episode, where we cover Imaginary Lat Syndrome or ILS. I have made numerous comments about ILS on my rants and felt the need to explain what it is. Of course in this episode we hint towards future topics and more. Remember to visit us a and always feel free to leave us a voicemail!!!
June 12, 2018
Stank ASS! We Pray That You Know Who You Are!
Join us for another GYM RANT about the smelly, nasty, disgusting, gross A$$ Mother F*ckers in the gym who smell up the entire facility! In this episode I am joined by my lovely beautiful wife the "Big Booty Barbie" who chimes in and lets the smelly A$$ ladies have it!!! www.TheGymRant.Com
June 06, 2018
Dramatic Gym Pacing AKA- Qui Chey Cain Pacing Tiger
In this episode we Rant about the Gym Pacers! The idiots who take up tons of Realestate in the gym by pacing large areas between every set!!!! It's annoying bro! Settle down and knock it off!!!!
May 31, 2018
Full Resting DICK Face & Full Resting BITCH Face
What's with the Full Resting Dick Face bro? You mad bro? In this episode we Rant about those "Hard Core" douchebags in the gym who seem to always just look pissed off all the time. Pissed off in the parking lot, pissed off in the locker room, pissed off in the gym and pissed off leaving the gym. We also rant about the Full Resting Bitch Face we see or female douchebags practicing all the time. We are an equal opportunity offender here at the Rant, no one is safe! LOL, RANT ON ALL!!!
May 16, 2018
Testosterone Replacement Vs. Steroids, Performance Enhancers
Hey Rant listeners! As promised here is a rant on the differences of TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy) and stereotypical STEROID use. We RANT about the idiots who claim to be on "TRT" but are obviously on 10 BILLION different performance enhancing DRUGS. We also break down the MAJOR differences as well as similarities. TUNE IN, RANT ALONG, SEND US A MESSAGE & MORE!
May 08, 2018
(BONUS) Rant while driving: Personal Trainer my F*CKIN A$$!! (Forgive the bluetooth audio)
Recorded over bluetooth in the car, join me on my Rant about big box corporate gym personal trainers, what a JOKE! Enjoy bashing on the stereotypical joksters calling themselves a personal trainer and what it’s doing to the fitness industry!
April 19, 2018
(BONUS) Short Rant: The Water Jug Guy
Short Rant about the water jug carrying morons in the gym
April 12, 2018