You’re listening to We Digress and we’re your hosts, Dave and Deb Beddoe.
Although our conversations are often about addiction, recovery, and faith, we do wander off-topic and into areas of broader interest – hence the name of our podcast, “We Digress”
Before we dive into feelings… Our audiobook launches TODAY! December 10, 2019. We are celebrating by giving away an audiobook to a lucky winner
SPOTIFY – listening to us there? If we’re in your top podcasts on Spotify, you could win a book! Here’s how to enter: We just started an Instagram account together: firstname.lastname@example.org
Step One: So, find our new account email@example.com and follow us.
Step Two: Go to your Spotify app, and if we're in your top podcasts, take a screenshot that shows we’re in your top podcasts.
Step Three: Share that screenshot to your Instastory, tagging our new Instagram account and you are entered to win.
Too complicated? Just go follow our new account now dave.deb.beddoe on Instagram and you’ll find the same directions.
Okay, so why are we talking about feelings? Because—like it or not-- feelings and compassion are intertwined & if you are a regular listener of this podcast, you know that compassion is a big deal here.
One thing we talk about is that we aren't always great at naming our feelings. Why? In part because we’ve been told continually that our feelings are wrong.
But are they? Have a listen.
In this episode of We Digress, we continue our conversation about the role of community in crisis, particularly addiction recovery.
Two major barriers to relationships within our community are independence and isolation.
In American culture, we value our independence. The United States was basically founded on "I have a better idea, why don't I just leave and do what I want?"
Well, sort of.
Pilgrims and pioneers brought their community with them. They tended to fare better when they lived close to each other.
Modern inventions allow us to be more independent. Most of us women don't all gather at the river to wash our clothes and chat. And though I believe a good old-fashioned barn raising is always a good idea (I've never been to one, but the one I dream of also has a picnic basket auction...)
We Digress, but the point is, we have to overcome our independence to connect with other people.
Sometimes, we pull away from our community before we hit a crisis point. We step away in shame or feel like we have to fix ourselves. Whatever our reason, it's hard to let people in.
When we feel this way, it's difficult to take steps toward community, but it's important for our healing. Plus, sometimes, we just need help. That's not a bad thing!
We need to be a part of community for ourselves. And we need to work hard to be a part of a community for others.
If you're listening and wondering how to help
You are a part of a community, whether it's a family, a church, a neighborhood, or group of friends. And that means, you are a part of someone's safety net.
We wrote The Heart of Recovery: How Compassion and Community Offer Hope in the Wake of Addiction to the community around the person in recovery.
Half of us know someone who has struggled or is struggling with addiction to opioids. We all need to understand how we can help.
Read more at theheartofrecoverybook.com
In this episode of We Digress, Dave and Deb talk about community and briefly wax nostalgic over small-town life in autumn.
Ah, the joys of small-town living…
On the one hand, everyone knows everyone else. On the other hand, everyone knows everyone else. Or, as Dave says, we get “all up in each other’s business.”
Is there value in built-in accountability from living around people who know you? What happens when you open up your business to everybody?
A supportive community is one of the greatest factors for sustained recovery. But most addicts have burned through their community by the time they hit "rock bottom."
You are a part of someone's safety net whether you know it or not. This episode is one of a two-part conversation
And hey! You can order our book now!
Compassion is a hot topic these days. Who deserves it, should it affect our politics, and what's in it for me...
In this episode, Dave and Deb dig into compassion and digress to the Great British Baking Show and Survivor -- the longest running American reality TV show, hosted by "America's Camp Director" Jeff Probst.
Sometimes, we unwittingly view compassion as a means to an end. Whether that end is reward or response. But is compassion merely currency to get me what I want?
God addressed compassion over and over in the Old Testament and Jesus did it again both preaching it and living it out in the New.
Between people, compassion is love's response to suffering. It's a character quality that should mark Christians, but, as David Englehart writes, "Compassion needs to be nurtured and practiced or even this basic love response can grow dull and cold."
Have a listen.
In this episode of We Digress, we talk about the power of listening well. In this episode, we're talking about listening. From marriage, to recovery groups, to living with teenagers, listening well can be the key to improving relationships-- and even healing.
In this episode of We Digress, Dave and Deb address the role of personality in addiction.
Is there such a thing as an addictive personality? Can your personality change? How can personality assessments like the Enneagram help with addiction recovery? Oh, and what the heck is the Enneagram?
Here are some additional links for the topics covered in this episode:
UCCB statement on the Enneagram
Enneagram and addiction
These are just starting points. For more about addiction recovery, check out the Beddoes' website at DeborahBeddoe.com or EnduringandAfter.com
While you're there, subscribe to our newsletter.
In this episode, recorded mid-April, we're talking about generalizations. How labeling people, passages and problems can be both helpful and harmful. We're talking about generations, seasons of life, and of course, addiction and recovery.
In this episode of We Digress, Dave and Deb banter about a big birthday, aging, and pop culture. Not a whole lot of seriousness, but a lot of fun. Some fun articles are referenced in this episode, including a fantastic list compiled by Emma Nichols for the Huffington Post, this AARP ad campaign, and this Pew Research study (which is actually a decade old...hmmmmm...) We'll rate this one M for Mature, but only because -- as our college Shakespeare prof so famously said about King Lear -- You'll understand it better if you're older. (P.S. Still haven't read Lear. Because I refuse to be "older.")
In this episode Dave and Deb tackle the garden and simple truths about being patient with growth.
Growth takes time-- even more so when you're talking about recovery from addiction or any other disruptive behavior that wrecks you.
Dave and Deb continue their conversation about renovations.
HGTV began broadcasting the year our oldest child was born, and I (Deb) confess, I've been a sucker for it ever since. Chances are, though, you are too. We talk a bit about our favorite shows, our own recent renovation experiences, and "flip culture" and how even fixing up houses has become an insta-fix. What happened to process? Is there a place for and value in process anymore? Listen in.
Everybody loves a renovation. This month, we're talking about our favorites. In this episode, Dave digresses about all the cars he's loved before...the Chevy Luv, the Hondas, the Plymouth...and we bring it back around to relationships. There are problems, issues people have that we won't touch. We feel like we don't have the time, the energy... But have we ever considered we might just lack the vision for their potential?
In this episode, Dave and Deb talk about some of their favorite movie portrayals of addiction and recovery and how even the best stories can't show reality. Change takes time. And when someone we love is in the process of change, our response matters. Our patience is a reflection of God's love.
Note: This episode was previously accidentally uploaded in the raw...this is the edited episode.
We've said "I promise" since we were small children trying to get out of trouble. When we were teens adding emphasis to a story. We made a promise when we got married. And we promised a kid we'd get him a dog...which we finally did -- years after our first promise.
And then there are the promises we make when we've lost someone's trust...
What's the value of a promise? And what good does it do to extract promises from someone who is unable to make good on that promise? Maybe there's a better way.