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Abdulfattah Adeyemi

Abdulfattah Adeyemi

By Abdulfattah Adeyemi
Engaging, authentic, passionate, inspiring and transformational audio lectures to edit your "Youniverse"!
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THE CAR METAPHOR IN MARRIAGE
If the car is the marriage, the man is the driver, the passenger is the wife, and the fuel is the money, what can the passenger do, if the driver is lost, confused, or does not fuel the car? Who is really in charge of determining the speed, the direction, and the destination of the car: the driver or the passenger? This discussion is an analysis of the car as a metaphor in marriage for husbands who understand. (Recorded on 28 October 2021) Listen, Learn, Laugh and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
33:17
July 29, 2022
FROM HUMAN-BEING TO HUMAN-DOING
What actually makes us valuable to ourselves and relevant in the lives of others is our ability to keep the flow of our nature from human-being to human-doing, and from human-doing to human-being. This nugget is for you to listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
03:17
July 29, 2022
THE STONE IN YOUR SHOE
This discourse takes an analytical look at the reasons behind our trials in life and suggests ways to develop a consistent mentality regardless of our changing realities. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
13:33
July 26, 2022
TAQWA MEASURES: STUDIES IN ISLAMIC SPIRITUALITY
Having Taqwa (God-consciousness) is not just a fleeting moment of excitement or spiritual lift. It is a journey in spirituality that is characterized by flow, growth, sincerity, transcendence, true knowledge, and service to humanity. Spirituality, therefore, is a relationship and a connection with Allah and with the universe. This lecture (recorded on 30 April 2022) is a glimpse into the study of some aspects of Islamic Spirituality. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
37:15
July 22, 2022
INTERNALLY GENERATED HAPPINESS
In the pursuit of pleasure, people buy things, use things, and own things, yet pleasant sensations do not guarantee lasting happiness. Where then does real happiness lie? What exactly does it mean to be happy? Is there any real source or condition of happiness? Can you recognize and sustain happiness when you “find” it? Do we inherit happiness? Is happiness a skill that we can learn? Is being happy destined? This lecture (recorded on 5 March 2022) is a step into a long inward journey towards internally generated happiness. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
01:01:22
July 21, 2022
THE EVERCHANGING TIMES
This lecture (delivered on 19 March 2022) highlights some of the overwhelming surprises that the everchanging times bring, and attempts to suggest answers to some existential questions. Are these emerging changes positive or negative? Do our interpretations of changes depend on our personal perceptions? What should we do when these unpredictable changes seem to weigh so heavily on our minds and greatly affect our mental health? Things are changing more rapidly than our foresight can capture; how then should we prepare ourselves for the shocks of a future that we can’t predict, at a present time that we don’t even understand? Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
56:13
July 20, 2022
ATTACHING A TRACKER TO YOUR LIFE
You can learn to make meanings, gain insights, make adjustments and make improvements in very important areas of your life if you pursue both qualitative and quantitative existence.  This lecture (recorded on 11 June 2022) takes you on a journey towards self-knowledge through numbers, as you self-track your life, knowing what works for you and what you work for.  Listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
01:02:21
June 21, 2022
COPING OR ESCAPING FROM THE CAGE OF A NARCISSISTIC SPOUSE
This lecture (recorded on 4 June 2022) highlights some of the narcissistic traits as mentioned in the Quran and explained in the Hadith. All in all, it can be emotionally draining and psychologically daunting to live with narcissists; hence the talk gives some hints on coping strategies if you must stay, and some advice on how to leave if your safety and sanity are at stake. If you have fallen victim to a narcissistic spouse and you have been finding it difficult to cope or you think it is time to escape, then, this lecture is for you. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
01:10:11
June 17, 2022
CHANGING PHASES IN MARRIAGE, GROWING RESPONSIBILITIES AND POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
Marriages pass through all sorts of trials before they stabilize, hence the need for couples to be equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills to cope with the ever-changing matrimonial challenges and growing responsibilities. However, it is not enough to find out what is wrong with a troubled marriage so as to fix it, but we should also find out what is right about a successful one so as to cultivate it. This lecture (recorded on 30 January 2022) is a scratch on the surface of what it means to apply positive psychology in marriage and in life generally. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your youniverse!
01:16:55
June 13, 2022
LIFE AS A FOOTBALL MATCH
This lecture features the comparative analysis of our lives and the game of football or soccer, from the temporality of time to the compelling and obvious fact that something is happening in our lives at every point in time. Despite the delight and the disgust in the game, we need to develop the ability to focus not only on the goals but also on the process. The game is beautiful if we play it with fairness, dexterity, and creativity. As the match goes on, whether we score goals or not, we should all be grateful that we are having the privilege of playing together on earth. I invite you to listen, learn and enjoy the metaphors, analysis, and approaches to life’s football matches as you edit your Youniverse!
52:17
May 04, 2022
RAMADHAN WITHOUT WOMEN
The women have always had to put in extra efforts in ensuring that they play their roles in taking care of their families during the month of Ramadhan, so much so that it is unimaginable what the month would be like without them. This is why we should appraise their immeasurable contributions and appreciate their sacrifices. This lecture gives hints on how the women can make things easy for themselves while cooking for their families, and how to also create time for worship activities during the month of Ramadan. After all, the reward system in Islamic worship provides that everyone, male and female will be rewarded in whatever ways they are able to serve humanity, especially by providing food to feed the needy. Listen, laugh, and learn as you edit your Youniverse! www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
52:17
April 18, 2022
ARE YOU A PEOPLE PLEASER?
It is not such a bad thing to be concerned about others, to be helpful, or be generous so as to increase your own happiness level. However, when altruism is taken too far, it becomes unhealthy. How then should you live a balanced life between pleasing others and pleasing yourself? How should you determine the right persons to please such that it becomes a pleasure pleasing them? What are the right approaches to pleasing your spouse such that you add pleasantness to your mutual pleasurable marital experiences? This lecture seeks to answer these questions with real-life examples. Listen, laugh, and learn as you edit your Youniverse!
59:36
April 15, 2022
THE FACE AND THE GAZE
Our faces define our personalities and that is the gift we are to give to humanity. The face of fellow humans and other creatures in the universe are like mirrors that reflect the Face of Allah. So, in order for us to see the Face of Allah, we should seek His Face in bringing happiness to the faces of fellow humans through love, kindness, and charity. This concept is taken from the Qur’an chapter 2, verse 115, and it explores the connection between the Face of Allah and the face of humans. It is an attempt to explain the Philosophy of the human face as well as the power and the mysteries of the human gaze. Listen, learn and enjoy as you edit your Youniverse!
01:16:46
March 21, 2022
REALITIES AND MENTALITIES IN MARRIAGE
Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. Reality isn't harsh, and it isn't easy either.  It is just what it is. In the midst of our daily struggle to fix, to figure, to pursue, to evade, or to sustain, one should not forget to appreciate what “today” entails. It is this adventure, this struggle, this “work in progress” nature of life that is probably part of what makes life an interesting journey. Realities have taught us that prayer doesn’t work with laziness, the guidance doesn’t work with ignorance, understanding doesn’t work with short-sightedness, and blessing doesn’t work with indiscipline. Whatever our life or marital realities are, we should maintain a constant mentality of hope, love, and mercy. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
01:11:20
December 29, 2021
THE DANGERS OF ANGER
What type of crime has anger not led people to commit? People have killed and destroyed because they were angry. Anger is a deviation from momentous cerebrations; an aberration to meaningful articulations. You would just kind of talk without saying anything, and you would say things without talking! Anger makes you shout, it makes you scream, it makes you hate, it makes you hit, it makes you hurt, it makes you cry. Then, it makes you suffer and makes you do stupid things; real stupid things that make you look really stupid! Anger makes you mess up your life, mess up your marriage, mess up your career, mess up your relationships, and mess up your destiny. While we cannot completely rid ourselves of the emotion of anger, we must not let it becloud our other noble emotions of patience, understanding, and love. Anger in its right place may add grace to the overall quality of your life. But if you let it fester into malicious iniquities, the consequences would make your destiny appear complicated as if it was put together by a committee! This audio lecture was recorded on October 30, 2017, and presented here so you can listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
01:15:28
December 24, 2021
SOLUTIONS TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic violence comes in many forms such as physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial/economic abuse, and so on. Under no circumstances are such abuses against women and men, in their various manifestations, encouraged or allowed in Islam. There are many examples in Qur'ān and ḥadīth that describe the sort of loving, respectful, and kind behaviour that husbands and wives ought to exhibit to one another. Islamic teachings indicate that marriage is mutual love and mercy between a couple and that its objectives, besides perpetuating human life, are emotional well-being and spiritual harmony. NOT violence! Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
01:28:20
December 06, 2021
WHO ARE YOUR TONIC AND TOXIC FRIENDS?
A good friend is like a tonic: a medicinal concoction that is brewed to make us feel healthier, livelier, and re-energized. A “tonic friendship” therefore, is like a healthy blend of mutual respect, positive attachment, affection, loyalty, love, respect, and trust. Conversely, toxic friends don’t nourish our souls but suck the verve out of our spirits. Is it not time for us to reconsider our stance in relationships that add no real value to our lives other than frustration and distractions? The point is, many are successful in life today because they flowed with the right group of friends, while some are not getting ahead due to the toxic friends they are drifting with. Most importantly, the message of this audio lecture is that we should take into account not just what kind of friends we make, but also what kind of friends we are. So, listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
01:08:16
November 28, 2021
HOW TO SHARPEN YOUR AXE
If you don’t take time to sharpen the axe of your relationships, you will lose touch with your true nature, and you become unable to create boundaries that protect, nurture, and sustain your self-worth. You misplace your crown. This audio lecture tells stories to prod us to think, and practice the art of silence so as to listen to our spouses’ heartbeats every day. It teaches us to take care of ourselves and to take time to learn and grow, to love and rejuvenate our marriages. This is how to bring out the Kings and Queens in us, just like Sulaiman and the Queen of Sheba did. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
54:21
November 24, 2021
ADVICE ON GIVING AND RECEIVING ADVICE
Wise counsels have freed us from paralyzing fears, severe anxieties, and overwhelming burdens. Can you imagine where we would be if not for people who offered us great, life-changing advice at every stage of our lives? Don’t people fail in life because they got bad advice from the wrong people? Should we take advice from just anyone who shows up to give us counsel? This audio lecture offers insights into the crucial things to consider before seeking, receiving, or giving advice in relationships, careers, financial matters, health issues, legal concerns, or spiritual journeys. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
01:08:21
November 17, 2021
MALICE IN LOVERLAND
Malice is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people without good communication skills, an inability to express a high level of empathy, and avoidance of conflict resolution. Keeping malice appears to be deeply ingrained in our culture, such that it is acceptable to shut somebody out as a way of punishment. A malicious husband or wife, because they cannot prevail over their spouse, or they have been insulted, offended, or have been deprived of their coveted ego massage, continues to harbour enmity towards their spouse, and the flames of anger and acrimony consume the love they share. This audio lecture explains pointers to narcissistic tendencies and how to handle malice in "loverland", depending on your unique situation. Listen, learn, and enjoy, as you edit your Youniverse!
57:39
November 15, 2021
MYSTERIES OF A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE (PART 2)
If we manage to eliminate those worries that torment our minds and make us ill, then clearly what we have left is that which is timeless, that which is beyond the body, that which is beyond attachments and beyond the mind, that which is truly beyond our comprehension and is called happiness! Indeed, the Qur’an itself speaks of happiness as being one of the rewards for those whom Allah chooses to admit to Paradise. This part 2 of “THE MYSTERIES OF A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE,” seeks to explain the factors for attaining real happiness in this world and the hereafter, and to ask the listeners, “What are your own personal secrets to happiness?” Is it true that happiness lies in making others happy? Is it possible to bring about another’s happiness? Should one pray for happiness? Could it be that true happiness is Allah’s gift and requires no effort? Is it a matter of destiny to be happy? Can this destiny be edited? Listen, Learn, and Laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
51:25
November 10, 2021
MYSTERIES OF A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE (PART 1)
Happiness is simply an emotional state of feeling good, of being free from pain and unpleasant emotions. Unfortunately, happiness is an elusive state of mind that all men strive for but few attain. For some people, happiness is contentment, joyful satisfaction, felicity, or blessedness. What does happiness mean to you? What are the ‘ways’ and ‘means’ of attaining happiness? What ‘gives rise to’, ‘creates’, ‘causes’ happiness? What ‘contributes’ to it? What is the ‘road’ to happiness? Do we inherit happiness? Does it depend on whom you marry? These audio lectures “THE MYSTERIES OF A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE,” (Parts 1 and 2) ask more questions than giving answers, but let us interrogate some clues to the mysteries of what can be described as a Happy Married Life. Listen, Learn, and Laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
59:54
November 10, 2021
NORMAL MARRIED LIFE
It is not everyone that walks the streets that is “normal”. A whole lot of married individuals have lost touch with the acceptable standards of what a happy marriage should look like, feel like, or be like. From profanity to irascibility, from insincerity to infidelity, husbands and wives have had to grapple with the stark reality of their spouses’ insanity. Whereas, to the outsiders, everything appears “normal”! This audio lecture gives hope to those trapped in non-functional relationships and gives an insight to those yet to enter into what looks more like a trap than a marriage. How do we determine normalcy in marriage when most people are not “normal” enough to live a normal married life? The answer is another question: what normal situation can come out of a union between a snake and a scorpion, between a bee and a housefly, or between an ant and an elephant? Listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse! 
55:27
November 06, 2021
FORCED BY FORCE
People have been driven out of their minds and compelled by some inexplicable circumstances to experience creepy episodes in their lives. Matters of jinns, sorcery, charms, mental conditions, and psychological situations, are all both sinister and intriguing. By making efforts to understand these phenomena, we can explain many of the mysteries and issues which bother us. We only need to pray hard and be cautious, so we can defend ourselves from these hidden forces that force us to the extremes of confusion. Listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
01:00:19
November 04, 2021
THE CREAMS OF DREAMS
Dreams are parts of the glimpses that remain for us from the unknown. They are voices from our collective subconscious, portents of deep inner disturbances in the individuals’ psyche, bearers of glad tidings of good things to come, or echoes of happy or sad and long-hidden memories. When some people see an unpleasant dream, their lives become disturbed. They become terrified and unable to relax until they find someone to interpret it for them so as to discover whether it brings glad tidings or bad news to them. If we stop at the limits which are set for us in the Islamic guidance, then such anxiety would not be felt, our fears would melt, and we would not be disturbed by the activities of our brains when we are asleep. In order to discern the best way of dealing with this widespread phenomenon in our individual lives, let us look broadly at the types and meanings of dreams within the safety net of some explanations that can be acceptable to our conscience. Stay awake!
51:53
November 02, 2021
THE STORIES OF OUR LIVES
Some people’s stories are all about the friends who walked into their lives at a point in time, enemies who made them run in thorns, benefactors who brought happiness their way, cruel people who pruned their wings when they were about to fly. Lucky ones amongst us can remember the stories of how they helped others to grow. How they helped a fallen little bird back to its nest. How they offered a shoulder for someone to cry. How they removed heavy burdens off someone’s neck. How they rescued someone from drowning in the rivers of life. Besides, you have used things and things have used you. You’ve got marks. You’ve been hurt. You’ve felt pain. You’ve been bruised. From fresh wounds to dried scars, you’ve been broken, you’ve been gored. You’ve bled, you’ve had boils, and you’ve discharged purulent pus and blood. You’ve had a high fever, your nose ran, your stomach ran, your head ached, and your heart ached. You’ve certainly got a lot of stories to tell. Take charge of your stories. Edit your Youniverse!
47:54
October 29, 2021
PRIDE AND HUMILITY IN MARRIAGE
This audio lecture teaches you not to confuse humility with humiliation, pride with self-respect, arrogance with self-confidence, obedience with slavery, and gentility with stupidity! Learn, Laugh, and Enjoy!
02:00:23
October 27, 2021
THE PATIENCE OF THE PATIENT
Ever wondered why the sick people in the hospital are called PATIENTS? It is because they have to PATIENTLY endure the sickness, the pains, and the inconveniences till they get well. This audio lecture explains how to be patient with the trials of life till you overcome your challenges.
54:07
October 25, 2021
THE POWER OF DUA
The POWER of prayer.
56:36
October 22, 2021
AWESOME ATTRIBUTES OF ALLAH
Allah is the most gracious, most merciful.
41:19
October 21, 2021
DRAMA QUEENS AND THEIR KINGS
Drama Queens and Their Kings
01:25:21
October 17, 2021
BITTERNESS AND FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE
Bitterness and Forgiveness in Marriage
01:02:16
October 17, 2021