Abdulfattah Adeyemi
By Abdulfattah Adeyemi
Abdulfattah AdeyemiOct 22, 2021
PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING IN MARRIAGE
This lecture (delivered on the 21, of January, 2024) demonstrates that marriage is a sacred union of hearts. It is a refined relationship between two individuals who embark on a marital journey filled with joy, challenges, and growth. Understanding and patience emerge as steadfast companions in this journey that can lead to a resilient and lasting bond. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply, as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
FOSTERING: REVIVING THE SUNNAH
When a child loses either or both of his parents, he faces so many economic, social, and emotional issues down the line. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of fostering or caring for orphans and considered it one of the noblest deeds in Islam. The lecture (delivered on 4 November 2023) shows us the “Big Picture”: we must never lose sight of the compassionate imperative to extend a helping hand to those who have known the depths of emotional trauma. Listen, learn, and reflect, as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
MARRIAGE REFINERY
This short lecture is an analogy of what a marriage can do to us: it can define, confine, or refine us, and whatever we make of it is entirely our choice. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
REAWAKENING OF THE UMMAH
This lecture (4, February 2024) examines the effects of globalization, internal strives, and socio-cultural challenges the Muslim Ummah faces in general, and the specific challenges that the Nigerian Ummah is experiencing. The lecture also suggests unity, knowledge, and understanding of how things work as parts of the way out. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
MERCY IN THE MARRIAGE
The crux of our marital relationship is love and mercy: there can be no mercy without love, and there can be no true love without mercy. This lecture (5, February 2024) posited that mercy is not just an emotion we feel; it is a decision to make, and an action to take. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
FOUR PARAMETERS TO ETHICAL LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME
This is part of a leadership lecture (delivered on 28, January 2024). It examines the Islamic concepts of stewardship, intention, welfare, spirituality, and other parameters of ethical leadership in the home. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
FIVE DIMENSIONS OF ISLAMIC MARITAL LEADERSHIP
This is part of a leadership lecture (delivered on 28, January 2024). It looks at the idea of religiousness of marital leadership in five ways: faith, devotion, experiential comprehension, consequential considerations, and deep knowledge. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse! For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
ETHICAL LEADERSHIP: WHO IS THE KING?
This is part of a leadership lecture (delivered on 28, January 2024). It is a philosophical view of leadership's contexts, limits, circumstances, and terrains, based on observations and inferences from the natural world. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
ARE YOU A PEOPLE PLEASER?
It is not such a bad thing to be concerned about others, helpful, or generous to increase your happiness level. However, when altruism is taken too far, it becomes unhealthy. How should you live a balanced life between pleasing others and pleasing yourself? How should you determine the right persons to please such that it becomes a pleasure pleasing them? What are the right approaches to pleasing your spouse such that you add pleasantness to your mutual pleasurable marital experiences? This lecture seeks to answer these questions with real-life examples. Listen, laugh, and learn as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
THE SOCIAL MEDIA: A TOOL TO MAKE OR MAR MARRIAGES
This speech (delivered on the 14, of October 2023) suggests that couples can use social media to enrich their love story, fostering connection, communication, and shared growth. It is a tool that, when harnessed wisely, can serve as an extension of the love that binds them in the real world, nurturing and strengthening the marital bond in the digital age.
Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
WELCOME TO SOCIALTOPIA!
Welcome to the enchanted kingdom of "Socialtopia," where WiFi signals flow like rivers. Where hashtags grow on virtual trees, and where the quirky citizens embarked on a digital adventure like no other. This speech (delivered on the 14, Oct. 2023) invites us to explore the profound philosophical questions surrounding technology, identity, and the human experience in the digital ecosphere of wires and waves. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
DIARIES OF BUSY COUPLES
We are always busy chasing deadlines and dreams, such that we forget to live in the moment to enjoy the simple things. We are always busy; but what are we busy for? We need to pause and reflect to find our inner core. This lecture (recorded via zoom on 10 September, 2023) discusses how we are addicted to being busy and how to balance family and work. Listen, learn, laugh and edit your Youniverse!
Visit www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
FAMILY LIFE IN THE BARRACK
This lecture was held on 23, September 2021. The mode of communication is mainly Pidgin English and it covers a wide array of metaphors to explain the factors that can help build a happy family life. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you Edit Your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
THE STORIES OF OUR LIVES
Some people’s stories are all about the friends who walked into their lives at a point in time, enemies who made them run in thorns, benefactors who brought happiness their way, and cruel people who pruned their wings when they were about to fly.
Lucky ones amongst us can remember the stories of how they helped others to grow, how they helped a fallen little bird back to its nest, how they offered a shoulder for someone to cry, how they removed heavy burdens off someone’s neck, and how they rescued someone from drowning in the rivers of life.
Besides, you have used things and things have used you. You’ve got marks. You’ve been hurt. You’ve felt pain. You’ve been bruised. From fresh wounds to dried scars, you’ve been broken, you’ve been gored. You’ve bled, you’ve had boils, and you’ve discharged purulent pus and blood. You’ve had a high fever, your nose ran, your stomach ran, your head ached, and your heart ached.
You’ve certainly got a lot of stories to tell. How should you take charge of your stories? How should you edit your Youniverse?
Would you like to share your story with me? (abdulfattahadeyemi@gmail.com)
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
SAVOUR, DON'T DEVOUR!
This lecture (delivered on 9 April 2023), is a theoretical understanding of taste, food, and eating within the framework of Islamic aesthetics and philosophy. It is a discourse built around the verse of the Qur’an (Chapter 7, verses 31- 33), that teaches us to savour only what is pure and lawful, and to relish the gustatory pleasures in our cultured cuisine with respect and gratitude, as against devouring the impure and the unlawful in crude nourishment. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse! Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
THE BURDENS OF LIFE
You might not know the Swahili word for “Burden”, you might not know the Latin word for “Load”, and you might not know the Chinese word for what is heavy, but you know what the invisible burden you carry in your heart feels like. This lecture suggests ways out for those trapped in burdens that keep them trembling, scared, confused, disturbed, cold, sick, and collapsing under the yokes of inner rots and decay. Listen, learn, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
EDIT YOUR YOUNIVERSE!
Need to talk to someone? Book a counseling/therapy session NOW! At...
https://calendly.com/abdulfattahadeyemi/counseling-therapy
THE STRANGER ON A JOURNEY
Our journey did not just start from this world. It started from somewhere else. But where did we come from? Why are we here? Where is our final destination? This lecture (delivered on 9 February 2023), is based on the “stranger-in-transit” mindset taught in the hadith. It shows that life in this world is just one of the six stages of our journey from Allah and back to Him. The homesick soul can only find rest and tranquillity when it reconnects with its Creator. Listen, learn, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
LIVING A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
Instead of choosing to exist merely, this lecture (delivered on the 25, of December 2022) urges you to experience the good, wholesome, aesthetic lifestyle as the Qur’an and the Sunnah recommended. It describes how to live life as if it were a beautiful piece of art with its elements of harmony, variety, style, originality, and creativity. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
POWER, POLITICS AND PITY-PARTY
You were not born to live powerlessly. You were not born to struggle endlessly. You were not born to toil fruitlessly. You were not born to be subjugated perpetually. You are meant to experience life to its fullest with high energy, and fulfilled dreams, without having to organize a pity party for yourself.
This lecture (delivered on 17 July 2022) takes a deeper dive and a closer look into the concept, dynamics, and realities of power. It hits hard on your conscience as you understand how life works and the power you have inside you. You must reclaim your power to repel harm, prevent oppression, and bring benefit to yourself and to humanity. Listen, learn, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE FUTURE GENERATION?
Should we be concerned about the future generation? Do we owe them anything? Are we under any obligation to “prepare” anything for the unborn children? To what extent can we take responsibility for the future of the planet, humanity, our communities, and our children? This lecture (12 November 2022) charges us to be responsible custodians for the next generation. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
HOW TO FACE AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE
The future is time’s way of getting us curious and bewildered. The future is abstract, not tangible. It is vague, not clear. It is a speculation, not a certainty. Despite the uncertainties, some people are eagerly looking forward to meeting and embracing the future fruits of their labours. In contrast, others are afraid of walking into the traps that destiny has already set for them. We are all potential. It is the future that unfolds for us.
This lecture (delivered on 12 November 2022) is a peek into the history of the future and what might hatch from the eggs of life that we are forced to incubate, blindfolded!
Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
Visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
THE POWER OF FAITH
Is faith something you have or something you do? Is faith a placebo, an emotion, a skill, or a kind of power? This lecture (delivered on 4 September 2022) asks more questions than gives answers, but it is an attempt to explain how our assumptions, perceptions, and expectations affect what faith means to us and what we do about it. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadyemi.com
THE MARRIAGE MEDAL
The marriage medal is about giving honour, respect, appreciation, and recognition of our sacrifices, efforts, wears, tears, rigours, duties, obligations, and above all, our love towards our families.
This lecture, delivered on 26 November 2022, is dedicated to the soldiers, parents, individuals, and all the hidden and unsung heroes amongst us who contribute gallantly to humanity's protection, preservation, and progress. These warriors deserve our admiration, honour, gratitude, and support. Listen, learn, laugh, and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
LEADERSHIP AND WEALTH OF PROPHET SULAIMAN (Peace be upon him)
The life and death of Sulaiman (Peace be upon him) are indeed full of wonders from which mankind can derive incredible lessons. Though every prophet was given miracles, Sulaiman (Peace be upon him) was given extraordinary miracles, as Allah subjugated the ethereal and earthly worlds for him, and endowed him with the power to communicate with jinns, and animals. Despite his knowledge and privileges, wisdom and kingdom, he remained humble, grateful, and faithful.
This lecture (delivered on 24, September 2022) brings good news to the wealthy, the rich, the leaders, the wise, and the learned ones that these blessings are great opportunities to bring benefits to humanity. Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
DON’T BE A TARGET
This lecture (delivered on 29 October 2022) takes a metaphorical look at the arrow, the shield, and the target as concepts in self-development, and holding on to the shield of Allah’s protection against spiritual arrows of affliction. Enjoy this symbolic exposition on being focused, and responsible, building self-confidence, and giving our offspring the sprint to start life with a dart.
Be either an arrow or a shield, or else you’ll be a target! Listen, learn and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
For more lectures and counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
THE AYYUB IN YOU!
The story of Ayyub explores a particular kind of ordeal in which the pain seems both inexplicable and fruitless—it has nothing to do with any sin you must have committed, It doesn’t resemble a particular spiritual growth and not the type endured in acts of worship. It is neither a persecution by enemies nor a struggle for mentorship to find direction in life. However, it is a unique type of trial that is tailor-made for you. The good news is that this model of Ayyub-like suffering always has a triumphant ending! Listen, learn and think deeply about the Ayyub in you as you edit your Youniverse! (www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com)
SECRET OF SUCCESS AT HOME
Synergetic relationships can be useful measures of an ecosystem’s health, same as in maintaining sanity in marriage. This lecture (delivered on the 8, October 2022) summarizes it all with symbolic references from the Qur’an and symbiotic inferences from nature. The secret of success at home can be found in the pairing: what we have combined, joined, or coupled. Are we trying to bind what does not cling? Listen, learn, laugh and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse! (www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com)
YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE?
As good as money is, what does it symbolize? Why bother accumulating cash and spending it to gather thingy-things that we shall still leave behind for others? Can we win the game of life when we live solely to pursue money at the expense of quality time with our families? Do we live to work, or do we work to live? How can we achieve a work-life balance such that we can have both?
This lecture, delivered on 15 October 2022, is a philosophical attempt to explain how we can make money and meaning simultaneously. Listen, learn and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse! (www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com)
WHERE IS MONEY?
This lecture (delivered on the 18, June, 2016) is a philosophical approach to our beliefs about money. It examines how we think about it, how we handle it, where we should look for it and what are the things that influence our perceptions of money. Is having money a matter of luck, choice, effort, or a spiritual thing? Listen, learn, and laugh as you edit your Youniverse! (www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com)
FALL IN LOVE OR STAND IN LOVE?
The word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings and types, in different contexts. A similitude of marital love is that of a gardener and his flower garden. He nurtures the flower with utmost respect, regard, care, love and mercy. In this sense, love is ultimately not just a feeling, but a commitment to the relationship. This lecture, (delivered on the 19 February, 2022) recommends that it is better to stand in love, than fall in love. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your Youniverse! For counseling services, visit: www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com
DECEPTIVE SPOUSES
From chagrin to malice, some spouses have crafted deceptive means of expressing their needs for attention, control, and domination. Should they not stop playing these tricky games of tit-for-tat? Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your Youniverse! (www.abdulfattahadeyemi.com)
WHO SPOILED MY MOOD?
Moods have essential connections with our mental and physical well-being. Moods can affect how you perceive, interpret, judge, and translate the world around you, and can also direct your behaviour. Bad moods are connected with depression, anxiety, aggression, poor self-esteem, physiological stress, and a decrease in sexual arousal.
A moody person may be going through a difficult stage in their lives; they may be exhausted, ill, chronically worried, or lacking what they need in terms of love, sleep, challenge, or security. But there is another type of moodiness; that of the bully, who will use their moods to intimidate and manipulate. They use it to garner attention, power, praise, and pity. It is some of these aspects of moodiness that I want us to look at in this lecture.
This discussion (held on 9 August 2015) attempted to explain some of the aspects of moodiness that affect our lives and those of others around us. Listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Things happen to us and we happen to things, yet we cannot possibly wrap our heads around everything in the universe. That is why our outlooks on what is good or bad might not be as accurate as we think. Therefore, if you have ever wondered why bad things sometimes happen to good people, you need to pay attention to my anecdotes, examples, and analogies, as I attempt to explain the consequences, connections, and situations that affect the occurrences in our collective and individual lives. This lecture was delivered on 27 August 2022 as a further inquiry into concepts in Islamic spirituality. Before you say “Why me!” listen attentively and learn how to edit your Youniverse!
HOW SHAME CAN AFFECT YOUR LIFE
Do you feel unappreciated, rejected, inadequate, and worried about what people think about you? Is there any aspect of your life that you are perpetually embarrassed and disgraced about? Do you walk around with your head down because you are ashamed of who you are and what you do? The emotions of shame, when taken too far can adversely affect our self-esteem and we go through life as if we are sorry to be alive.
This lecture, delivered on the 13, August 2022, looks into ways of regaining your self-confidence so you can remove the heavy yoke of guilt and humiliation from your psyche over what is none of your business. If shame is a problem for you, then listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
This lecture (delivered on 20, August 2022) looks at some aspects of thinking: an introduction to a study in “Mental Security”. It discusses how fantasies, memories, and imaginations are all descriptions of our thought processes and how perceptions, contemplations, and assumptions are all manifestations of our minds at work. Listen and learn to protect your mind, direct your thoughts and edit your Youniverse!
COMPATIBLE OR COMFORTABLE
Fire, water, air, and earth as we commonly know them are but outwardly manifested forms of the Elements themselves. However, each of the four elements is inherently neutral and is neither good nor bad. The human organism also contains all four elements, often manifested in the theories of personality traits.
This lecture (delivered on the 8, November, 2014), is for matchmakers, those intending to choose a spouse and those already married. It shows that Compatibility is overrated: the similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time, especially if the couples get too comfortable with each other.
Couples should look for the best in each other; develop the disposition, attitude, and willingness to work on the complementarity parts of their compatibility. Listen, laugh, and learn as you edit your Youniverse!
PRE-RETIREMENT TALK FOR SENIOR CITIZENS
This lecture was presented at a workshop organized by the Abuja Enterprise Agency (AEA), Abuja on 8 February 2022. The workshop was organized as pre-retirement training for civil servants and senior citizens. Although financial security is an important element in retirement plans, this presentation lays more emphasis on the psychological aspects of retirement, especially in matters of adjusting to retirees' new identity and what can be called, the “New Normal” in their personal, family, and social lives. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
LEADERSHIP FOR TRANSFORMATION
This keynote address was delivered at an event of Toastmasters International, Abuja, Nigeria on 10 June 2022. It comprises clear examples, deep metaphors, and insightful analogies as it discusses four steps towards transformational leadership. Listen, learn, think and edit your Youniverse!
WHAT IS YOUR CORE IDENTITY?
Our identities can refer to what we do, what we call ourselves, or what people call us. Are you identified by what you have achieved, or you are still not sure how you fit into your community? Do you know the core of your uniqueness, or you are going through an identity crisis? This lecture throws a challenge at you, to see if you truly know who you are, or if you are just an assumption. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
THE CAR METAPHOR IN MARRIAGE
If the car is the marriage, the man is the driver, the passenger is the wife, and the fuel is the money, what can the passenger do, if the driver is lost, confused, or does not fuel the car? Who is really in charge of determining the speed, the direction, and the destination of the car: the driver or the passenger? This discussion is an analysis of the car as a metaphor in marriage for husbands who understand. (Recorded on 28 October 2021) Listen, Learn, Laugh and think deeply as you edit your Youniverse!
FROM HUMAN-BEING TO HUMAN-DOING
What actually makes us valuable to ourselves and relevant in the lives of others is our ability to keep the flow of our nature from human-being to human-doing, and from human-doing to human-being. This nugget is for you to listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
THE STONE IN YOUR SHOE
This discourse takes an analytical look at the reasons behind our trials in life and suggests ways to develop a consistent mentality regardless of our changing realities. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
TAQWA MEASURES: STUDIES IN ISLAMIC SPIRITUALITY
INTERNALLY GENERATED HAPPINESS
In the pursuit of pleasure, people buy things, use things, and own things, yet pleasant sensations do not guarantee lasting happiness. Where then does real happiness lie? What exactly does it mean to be happy? Is there any real source or condition of happiness? Can you recognize and sustain happiness when you “find” it? Do we inherit happiness? Is happiness a skill that we can learn? Is being happy destined? This lecture (recorded on 5 March 2022) is a step into a long inward journey towards internally generated happiness. Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
THE EVERCHANGING TIMES
This lecture (delivered on 19 March 2022) highlights some of the overwhelming surprises that the everchanging times bring, and attempts to suggest answers to some existential questions. Are these emerging changes positive or negative? Do our interpretations of changes depend on our personal perceptions? What should we do when these unpredictable changes seem to weigh so heavily on our minds and greatly affect our mental health? Things are changing more rapidly than our foresight can capture; how then should we prepare ourselves for the shocks of a future that we can’t predict, at a present time that we don’t even understand? Listen, learn and edit your Youniverse!
ATTACHING A TRACKER TO YOUR LIFE
You can learn to make meanings, gain insights, make adjustments and make improvements in very important areas of your life if you pursue both qualitative and quantitative existence. This lecture (recorded on 11 June 2022) takes you on a journey towards self-knowledge through numbers, as you self-track your life, knowing what works for you and what you work for. Listen, learn, laugh, and edit your Youniverse!
COPING OR ESCAPING FROM THE CAGE OF A NARCISSISTIC SPOUSE
This lecture (recorded on 4 June 2022) highlights some of the narcissistic traits as mentioned in the Quran and explained in the Hadith. All in all, it can be emotionally draining and psychologically daunting to live with narcissists; hence the talk gives some hints on coping strategies if you must stay, and some advice on how to leave if your safety and sanity are at stake. If you have fallen victim to a narcissistic spouse and you have been finding it difficult to cope or you think it is time to escape, then, this lecture is for you. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your Youniverse!
CHANGING PHASES IN MARRIAGE, GROWING RESPONSIBILITIES AND POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
Marriages pass through all sorts of trials before they stabilize, hence the need for couples to be equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills to cope with the ever-changing matrimonial challenges and growing responsibilities. However, it is not enough to find out what is wrong with a troubled marriage so as to fix it, but we should also find out what is right about a successful one so as to cultivate it. This lecture (recorded on 30 January 2022) is a scratch on the surface of what it means to apply positive psychology in marriage and in life generally. Listen, learn and laugh as you edit your youniverse!
LIFE AS A FOOTBALL MATCH
This lecture features the comparative analysis of our lives and the game of football or soccer, from the temporality of time to the compelling and obvious fact that something is happening in our lives at every point in time. Despite the delight and the disgust in the game, we need to develop the ability to focus not only on the goals but also on the process. The game is beautiful if we play it with fairness, dexterity, and creativity.
As the match goes on, whether we score goals or not, we should all be grateful that we are having the privilege of playing together on earth. I invite you to listen, learn and enjoy the metaphors, analysis, and approaches to life’s football matches as you edit your Youniverse!