Take What You Need

How do you keep going when nothing is working? How do you deal with unanswered prayers? No matter how ‘good’ things appear, most of us are still hoping for SOMETHING. At the end of 2023, I found myself in tears, unable to trust the process. My hope was lost, I had so much frustration and I was just over it.

Here’s how I found my way back to clarity and peace. I hope it helps you too. Let me know what you think!

I’m SO excited about this episode because there’s SO. MUCH.  that we cover! I asked on our Instagram stories which questions and dilemmas you guys have, and now I’m answering them from my POV. 

I answer:

• How to grow, manage and maintain GOOD quality friendships (there’s layers to this)
• How to balance rest and wellness in our fast-paced world (spoiler alert: fasting is a game changer)
• How to be “wise” - i.e. how to make decisions and think in a way that improves the quality of your life

I really enjoyed answering the questions in this episode, if you have more dilemmas or general questions please DM me on the @takewhatyouneedpodcast Instagram! Please add as MUCH detail as possible, it makes the entire experience so much richer.

P.S. My ‘New Year’ is alllllll of January and February, so it’s not too late to get your 2024 Playbook. Join over 1,000 users and make this year as beautiful as it can be with Your interactive Year-End Playbook: https://bit.ly/2024Playbook

We don’t do New Year’s resolutions around here, instead, we digest and live by new concepts that have the power to shift our entire 2024.

This is one of those episodes that holds up a mirror to the relationships in your life... are you ready?

Through a series of highly televised sibling rivalries (Kourtney vs. Kim, Kyle Richards vs. Kathy Hilton, Kendall Roy vs. Shiv Roy vs. Roman Roy) — we explore how to navigate the tension between putting yourself first and looking after yourself, vs. being part of cultural and familial systems that might just be... a little toxic.

I hope this episode makes you a bit more free in some way or another.

It’s that time of year when we start looking back on what we’ve ‘done’ and wondering if it measures up. The question is, ‘measures up’ to what?

Inspired by a recent conversation at a house party, this week’s episode explored the idea of what success looks like and can be — and how adapting the mindset that you’re a success right now, just as you are is the key to setting yourself up for even more success in the future. Enjoy!

Contact email⁠⁠: takewhatyouneed[at]sbmcreative.com

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It all started with this tweet: “a16z and Sequoia are wrong 90% of the time…”

If some of the greatest and smartest minds in the world have accounted for the fact that things not working out is a normal part of life, then perhaps the question ‘what if it doesn’t work’ isn’t even the right question to ask. I think we should be asking a better, more productive set of questions. 

Now, look at your own life. Are there steps you’re afraid of taking? Are there things that feel so exciting, that deep down you want to pursue but they feel ‘too risky’? Instead of sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing, ask yourself, 'how am I going to hedge against this risk?'. And maybe, just maybe you’ll get unstuck.

The best version of your life is within reach, you just have to opt in. Tony Robbins said it best, your whole life can change on a single decision.

This week on the Take What You Need podcast, we deep-dive into the psychology of one of my favourite shows, HBO's Succession. The hallmark of great literature and media is that it holds up a mirror into our society on a macro scale, and the condition of humanity on a microscale, and Succession does that with equal doses of drama and comedy. This episode touches on generational patterns, the sibling experience and the TRUE meaning of the word ‘succession’.

ESSENTIAL FAQs:

• Do I need to have watched Succession to enjoy this episode? No, I explain everything so hopefully it’s interesting
• Are there spoilers? Yes, only a couple. Approach with caution (tbh, where have you been and why aren’t you caught up?)

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why I think describing the Roys as ‘bad people’ actually misses the point

• I give a snapshot of just how deep and brilliant this show is in my eyes…

• How annoyed I’d be if I was Connor Roy

• ls a look into 2053, when we have a Succession reboot 👀

Let me know what you think!

SHOW NOTES & LINKS: abiola.substack.com

SOCIAL:

If I could, I'd describe it in a single word: identity. But who really knows what that means? So instead I'll say: the words we speak (and the paradigms they're based on) become the house that we live in. In this episode, I explore how the narratives that our friends, family, counsellors and external sources like enneagrams and zodiac signs shape our lives. And what to do about that.

Mentioned in this episode:

“Pay me my worth”

“If someone doesn’t want to pay me, they don’t respect me”

“Why would I pay them if I can just do it myself?”

“I don’t want to give away 10% of MY MONEY”

“Money isn’t important to me”

The above, and other stories we tell ourselves, hold us back more than we realise. Today we’re going to work on releasing more abundance into our lives, via four of my top (and slightly alternative) philosophies and principles. It starts with our mindset.

There's SO much talk about masculine and feminine energy, but what does it actually mean? In this episode we break down the concept, its potential roots, its spiritual context and how I apply it to my work, relationships and more. 

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We've ALL been there. If you're a creative (spoiler alert: we all are), you'll know the struggle is real. In our algorithmic world, distraction, comparison and imitation make it even harder to come up with fresh ideas. The deadly creative block - and today, we'll attempt to unblock it. Enjoy!

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Mentioned in this episode:

We're a month into 2023, but for me, the ‘New Year’ lasts for a good 3 months 🙏

“If I don’t keep going, everything's going to fall apart"

“If I don’t take this opportunity, who knows when the next one will come”

There’s definitely value in seizing the day, but what happens when you become stuck in a cycle of constantly working? What happens when you’re exhausted in a way that sleep cannot repair? Is it really a good life if you’re constantly counting down until your next holiday to exhale?

In this week’s episode, I answer the question “How do you navigate burnout and the need to always perform?”. The short answer? The life-changing practice of the Sabbath

As we prep for 2023, it’s only right that we’re in a season of hibernation — extended sabbath if you will. Now is the ideal time to integrate true sabbath into your daily life.

Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction: why a ‘spa day’ or ‘sleeping more’ isn’t enough

04:08 - How it started for me - 2 years in the process

07:40 - What it looks like for me right now

09:58 - The benefits you can expect from practicing the Sabbath

What next?

How would your energy shift if you KNEW that growth/success was guaranteed? A game-changing (and spiritual) antidote to imposter syndrome.

Timestamps

00:00 - Intro

02:00 - The questioning and doubt that comes when embarking on big goals

02:38 - The story that changed my perspective

06:55 - The two things I’ve learned from this story

12:37 - What about the things I don’t have?

What next?

How do you build confidence in a world where there's so much comparison and uncertainty? 

We're getting RIGHT into it this week with our first-ever proper episode, submitted anonymously via our question box. Thanks for being so open with our questions!

Timestamps

00:00 - Intro

01:22 - Different types of confidence

02:43 - The 4 key principles to confidence (a summary)

04:04 - 1) I'm here for a reason

08:40 - 2) Get comfortable with the fact that confidence won't be consistent

13:25 - 3) This is YOUR life on YOUR terms

17:30 - 4) Play the long-game and forget milestones

20:33 - BONUS - Develop a strong vision

What next? 

Honestly, I'm just happy to be back. Here's what to expect.

For more, follow:

Did you know that Team “No Days Off” and Team “Self-Care” have more in common than we think? They both focus on the physical — what we are (or are not) doing. But REAL rest is bigger than that, it’s bigger than finding a balance in the physical. It starts in the spiritual, and you can access it today. 

So it makes sense that in May, Mental Health Awareness month, we lean in. It makes sense that we take extra special care to feed our souls and protect our minds in the process. Navigating our mental health can sometimes feel like a minefield. This year, I’ve juggled multiple responsibilities, being stretched beyond my mental and physical capacity. And while I’ve not won every battle, these five tips have helped me to thrive even when I thought that I had run out of options.