A.F.A.R Absent For A Reason

Welcome to the Afar Podcast! In this episode, we’ll be discussing the challenges faced by the Department of Children and Families (DCF) in Boston and the impact on families and children in need. We’ll explore high caseloads, a lack of resources, racial disparities, transparency and accountability concerns, and slow reunification with families.

To help us understand these complex issues, we’ll be joined by Shante Leathers-Idowu, a licensed clinical social worker who previously worked at DCF, and Shakina Coplin, a clinician at Fathers UpLift. We’ll delve into their experiences on the ground, working with families in difficult situations, and gain insight into the vital role that social workers play in supporting those in need.

But our conversation doesn’t end there. We’ll also be exploring the myth and stereotypes surrounding absent fathers and redefining fatherhood. Fathers UpLift, a non-profit organization, is dedicated to providing resources and support to fathers and families, and we’ll hear from Shakina on how they are making a difference in their community.

Join us for an eye-opening episode of the Afar Podcast as we discuss the challenges facing child welfare agencies, the role of social workers, and the importance of redefining fatherhood.

This week the Fathers' Uplift team discusses love, self-love, and the importance of expressing your love and your appreciation of others. Love isn't always such an easy emotion for us men to show due to influences of culture and perceptions of "masculinity." Today we discuss how to not be afraid to show love to others as men, which helps us to open up to our peers, our communities, and our families.

It's another episode of our Kings' Dilemmas series, helping Kings navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their families, and their communities.

This week the Fathers' Uplift Team discusses cultural identity, the meaning of our cultural roots, backgrounds, nationalities, and what factors influence and shape our view of each other’s cultures.

This is another episode of our Kings' Dilemmas series, helping Kings navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their family, and their communities. We're glad to have you tuning in!

Welcome Back to AFAR. In today’s episode, Father’s UpLift Youth Tariq, Jhakari, Robert, Christian, and Jason engage each other freely and authentically, speaking truth on topics that interest them. This week, the boys are discussing their high school experiences, posing questions to each other such as: 

• What was/has been your experience in high school? 
• How much do you think that experience impacts your future?
• What are the "Do’s and Don’ts" in High School?
• Were/are you a follower or a leader in school? 
• Because there are a lot of followers, people get into fights and trouble a lot. How do you all handle that? Did you ever feel like you had to fight back?
• What do you want to do with your future? And any advice for people in high school?
• Lastly, can you all share what you do to remain safe in your community and what you do to take your mind off of stress?

Disclaimer: Fathers' UpLift does not condone smoking, drug use, or alcohol abuse. However, we do provide a safe space for our youth to discuss these topics and the prevalence of these things around them. For that reason, those topics may be touched on frankly from time to time from an unendorsed perspective in our youth podcast episodes.

Welcome Back to AFAR. In today's episode, Host David and three of our youth - Tariq, Jason, and Christian - engage each other freely, authentically, and step out of their comfort zones as young men, speaking truth on topics that interest them. They offer perspectives to their peers and listeners and provide tools that will help them make the best decisions for themselves, at home, at school, and in the community.

Today, they discuss dropping mixtapes, the impact of music in their lives, and ways to use music as a tool to build healthy friendships. They also pose questions to each other about how music can impact relationships with friends (and also the ladies). Today, our youth offer their perspectives to their peers and listeners on how music is a vital part of both their individual lives and broader society. 

Some of the questions touched on include:

What is one thing that you wish people understood about making music ?

How do your parents look at your music?  What are your plans with music?

How did you get started making music? How long has it been since you've started?

This week the Fathers' Uplift Team discuss personal health and the actual importance of routine medical care. For some reason, it's easy for us men to neglect our health. Don't do it though. You'll thank yourself later. 

It's another episode of the Kings' Dilemmas series, helping Kings navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their families, and their communities.

Welcome back to AFAR. In today’s episode, Father’s Uplift youth, Tariq, Jhakari, Robert, Christian, and Jason, engage each other freely, authentically and step out of their comfort zones as young men and speak truth on topics that interest them. Today, they discuss the issue of smoking weed and pose questions to each other to offer perspectives to their peers and listeners and provide tools that will help them make the best decisions for themselves at home, at school, and in the community.

Some of these questions include:

1. Have you had a conversation about smoking with your parents?
2. Did weed impact your mental health? If yes, how? Was it impacted positively or negatively?
3. How does peer pressure play a part in your actions?
4. What do you think are the consequences of weed?
5. How does weed affect your creativity?

Disclaimer: Recreational use of marijuana is illegal for youth under the age of 21 in the state of Massachusetts. Fathers' UpLift does not endorse or encourage smoking under the age of 21. However, we do foster authentic conversations around the topic to help youth to be educated and informed on the risks of substance use and abuse at any age.

This week, the Fathers' Uplift Team discuss money and try to understand how much of a man's worth should be tied to their ability to provide financially. It's another episode Kings' Dilemmas series, helping Kings navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their families, and their communities. 

This week the Fathers' Uplift Team discusses "Healthy Boundaries" and dive into how to create healthy boundaries with friends and family members.

It's another episode in our Kings' Dilemma series, helping kings to navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their families, and their communities.

This week the Fathers' Uplift team continues our discussions on struggles and obstacles faced by many men. Today, we talk about "Self Care Vs. Self Harm" and explore the fine line between pleasure and self-inflicted pain.

Don't miss this episode! This week the Fathers' Uplift Team discusses "How to find a loving partner," and we place Dr. Daniels in the hot seat for to share the amazing story of how he proposed to the wonderful Samantha Fils-Daniels.

It's another episode of our Kings' Dilemmas series, helping kings to navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their family, and their community.

We've got a brand new season of the #AFAR #Podcast for you as summer winds down. And to kick things off, we're starting a series called Kings Dilemma, in which we help kings to navigate the dilemmas they face as leaders so they can make the best decisions for themselves, their families, and their communities.

Peanut Butter & Chocolate. This week the Fathers' Uplift Team discusses depression and anxiety and offers tips on how to help preserve your mental health.

Today's podcast highlights our youth voices, with Kadin (13) and Jace (9) joining our youth coaches George and David to talk about moving to Atlanta.

Take a moment to hear these young black voices share about their experiences.

On today's podcast, hear from our Development Associate, Christopher, on his experiences both as a father and in relation to his own father.

Christopher grew up as a military kid, with his father frequently deployed to various missions and conflict zones, but he highlights how his father's intentionality when he was present lessened the pain of the moments when he couldn't be present.

Torrey joined the Fathers' Uplift team as an administrative employee this year. However, before that, he was a member of our board, who provided critical insights and strategic guidance.

Listen over your commute or during another time tonight or this week to hear about Torrey's relationship with his father and what he has to say about fatherhood. He's got some great experiences that he shares with us.

Similar to Meredith, who shared with us last week, Ashley also began her journey with Fathers' Uplift as a clinical intern and is now one of our clinicians! She's a kind and thoughtful soul who provides excellent service for Fathers' Uplift clients and we're glad to be able to elevate her voice today.

Take a listen on your commute home!

Meredith began her journey with Fathers' Uplift as a clinical intern and she's now one of our clinicians! She brings immense value to the FUL team and we are excited to highlight what fatherhood means to her today!

Take a listen on your commute home!

Brandy is relatively new to the FUL fam, having just joined our team as an intern in January of this year. She has since graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Forensic Psychology, but has stayed on our team over the summer, supporting our organization as an Administrator. We are thankful to have her and are excited to share this podcast episode with you! 

Take 10 minutes today to hear what fatherhood means to Brandy and learn more about her Fathers' Uplift story!

Leonard serves as Fathers' Uplift's Director of Coaching. He is a father of two teenagers, an African immigrant, and a fantastic leader who cares deeply about fatherhood.

Take 10 minutes today to hear what fatherhood means to Leonard and learn more about his Fathers' Uplift story!

George leads Fathers' Uplift's Marketing Department.

Take 15 minutes today to hear what fatherhood means to George and learn more about his Fathers' Uplift story!

This month we interviewed Fathers' Uplift employees about all things fatherhood, finding out about their own experience with fatherhood themselves (whether as a father or just as the child of a father).

In this episode, Coach Vicente shares about his experience with Fathers' Uplift and fatherhood.

Take a listen and hear some fascinating stories from the FUL Fam.

This year in our new Youth Voices Podcast Program, we've been teaching podcasting skills, including research, writing, and recording/public speaking to youth engaged with our coaches.

Jahkari is one of the youth who has been involved from the start and we are happy to showcase his first podcast episode today, in which he discusses the emerging world of professional gaming.

Check it out! You just might learn something.

A healthy body. Good physical health habits. Nutrition, exercise, and appropriate health care. These make up the physical dimension of wellness. A few ways we can get there might be choosing things that make our body feel good and trimming back the things that bring us down. We can also feel better by creating a routine that balances activity with inactivity, and that is manageable within our obligations and needs. Our body is intelligent, and learning to listen to it more deeply may be very important and empowering.

With all that is going on in our society today, Dr. Daniels wrote a letter to the Kings and Queens out there. It isn’t a perfect message, but it is certainly from the heart. We hope you can take time to listen and be encouraged.

The Intellectual Wellness Dimension involves many things that keep our brains active and our intellect expanding. In a broad sense, this dimension can involve looking at different perspectives of an issue and taking them into consideration. Through a number of activities—from learning about current events to organizing game nights in your home or community center—you can broaden your perspective and understand diverse points of view.

Let's break down this dimension of wellness.

Wellness is a broad concept. In this guide, we attempt to provide a broad, yet specific, sense of what it means. We invite you to think of wellness as meaning being healthy in many dimensions of our lives. That includes the emotional, physical, occupational, intellectual, financial, social, environmental, and spiritual parts. These dimensions are interconnected, one dimension building on another.

Join us as Fathers' Uplift's Coach Vicente begins his series on wellness within our AFAR podcast.

Q: Christopher Emanuel, a South Carolina father, won custody of his daughter after she was adopted without his permission. Victory came eventually. but how do we keep the faith to remain in the battle? And how do we manage our emotions in the process? 

Many of us may not have the perseverance and faith that Christopher had. Fighting the system can feel like fighting an elephant as a mouse. It is easy to give up.

However, there is something special about being told ‘No’. We see what could happen when you learn from the ‘Nos’ you received in the example of Christopher Emmanual. He found out that his daughter was born a week earlier and had already been adopted without his knowledge. He received several ‘Nos’ while fighting for his daughter, but what happened, in the end, can motivate us all. Tune in to hear Dr. Daniels’ message about how to use the 'Nos' to elevate you. Let’s talk!

Are you defining who you are? Or is the world? Who is it, exactly, who you wish to be?

Often we allow the world to define who we should be, while we struggle to muster up the courage we were born with to speak into our own lives.

In today's podcast, Dr. Daniels shares what he learned from DeVon Franklin, Hollywood Producer and New York Times bestselling author. You’ve probably watched the movie The Pursuit of Happiness and Star, if so, you are witnessing the gifts of DeVon. While reflecting on his conversation with DeVon, Dr. Daniels talks about two categories, the ‘I Hope’ Category and the ‘I Am’ Category. He breaks down DeVon’s message to him about these two categories in this session.

Today we're continuing to cover the following question: How do I communicate my feelings of shame, guilt, anger to my spouse, or girlfriend after I have cheated so that I can heal too? Join us for Part 2 as we answer this difficult question and share advice for restoration and healing?

What good is a man that sleeps with every woman his flesh desires, and in-turn loses his family while interrupting the spiritual and emotional health of his offspring for years to come? In this episode, Dr. Daniels shares some tips that you can use to keep your fleshly desires in check and remain in control of you. He introduces an acronym (O.R.G.A.S.M.) that will help you remain aware of what is going on when you cheat. Now, there is homework in this episode, but do not worry, we know you are ready to do the inner work. Tune in to this two-part episode to hear Dr. Daniels’ message.

Today we're covering the following question: How do I communicate my feelings of shame, guilt, anger to my spouse, or girlfriend after I have cheated so that I can heal too? Many of us men cannot keep it in our pants and we cry like a river begging for forgiveness when it is too late.

What good is a man that sleeps with every woman his flesh desires, and in-turn loses his family while interrupting the spiritual and emotional health of his offspring for years to come? In this episode, Dr. Daniels shares some tips that you can use to keep your fleshly desires in check and remain in control of you. He introduces an acronym (O.R.G.A.S.M.) that will help you remain aware of what is going on when you cheat. Now, there is homework in this episode, but do not worry, we know you are ready to do the inner work. Tune in to this two-part episode to hear Dr. Daniels’ message.

Last week Leonard and one of our dads chatted about this topic; how to get "unstuck" in life. This week, we share Dr. Daniels' response to the question. How do we get ourselves "unstuck" from a place of pain and truly reflect and HEAL to get to our destination? How do we reach a full transformation? They say transformation is a process, but many of us are just STUCK. Even our nation seems to be STUCK, as we still reflect the legacy of MLK and are still going through a transition of power while our communities and families are on the edge.

So, Dr. Daniels, how do we get "unstuck" as people and as a society?

It is Black History Month. How do we honor Black History Month through the lens of mental health? How do we tap into the strength of our ancestors? As we celebrate Black History, we are still dealing with a lot of hell impacting our well-being; still dealing with external/environmental traumas such as racism, systematic disparities, and marginalization, all impacting Black Families. Let's break this all down.

In the midst of a pandemic, navigating financial hardships, housing challenges, unemployment or underemployment, and other challenges that many in our community are facing, it is easy to feel traumatized, overwhelmed, and to get "STUCK". So the big question: How do we "unstick" ourselves from a place of pain and truly reflect and heal, to get to our destination? Please tune in as we unpack and dive in, exploring answers and reflections with our special Guest - Benjamin Diaz, a Fathers' Uplift Dad & Ambassador sharing his own incredible story of resilience. Ben is an open book to the world on a mission to inspire fathers, his peers, and his community. Listen in!

Today's Question: How do you “quarterback” your mindset to get ready after retirement? What is the recipe for maintaining a healthy balance so you won’t go off the edge after retiremen. Many athletes struggle after retirement, impacting their role as a father and the family dynamic. The story of Klete Keller helps us reflect on the challenges after retirement.

Life after the game is a vulnerable time for athletes. What do you do when you are no longer the center of attention, and life as you know it, is not the same? In this episode, Dr. Daniels discusses how we can bounce back after the dramatic change. While reflecting on the journey of Klete Keller, an Olympic champion that participated in the United States Capitol invasion. Dr. Daniels extracts lessons that we can apply to life. Living unhinged by the expectations that were placed on you, will be the key to being a better version of yourself. Tune in to learn how.

On January 6th, 2021, we witnessed an insurrection live from the screens of our television. It is clear that there are two Americas, one for people of color and another for white people. Staying sane this day and age is challenging. Dr. Daniels talks about what we can do to protect our peace. In his words, we can not allow this moment to make us hate White people. We are better than that. Hear more of what he had to say in this episode..

Our view of the world was shaped by the pain and joys we have experienced. This is why we must be attentive to the lens we use to navigate it. Being able to recognize which lens we are using is integral to our survival. Each decision we make is connected to the views of someone who's entered our lives. Dr. Daniels discusses how you can remain in control of your destiny while remaining aware of your glasses prescription. In his words, others' views of you, especially those you really care about, naturally will become your prescription until you decide that you are not going to allow the negative aspects of their views to destroy you.

The day will come when your loved ones are going to want answers. It is not going to be easy to respond to the questions they may ask.  

Can you love yourself enough to answer their questions and accept the pain that surfaces concurrently? You are not your mistakes. If you are willing to accept all of you, the positive and negative, you can answer these questions. There are no perfect answers. The best answers come from your heart. 

Check out this conversation between Coach Leonard and one of our Dads, Kariem McCormick, as Kariem shares his journey of fighting to get his daughter back and finding the strength to answer the difficult questions that his daughter may want to ask.

To persevere is to continue moving forward. We have no choice but to move forward in life. The question is, how will you move forward?

Will you move forward with power? Or will you continue to give it away to the illusions of defeat? In this episode, we are going to hear the story of Lorenzo, a Father's Uplift Dad who kept pushing and moving forward with power in a quest to reunify with his daughter. 

Lorenzo had every reason to give up, but he kept persevering until he saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Lorenzo developed his own formula of winning, of claiming victory, because he did not want to give up.

Can a couple survive infidelity? Can we overcome infidelity? How do you resist temptations? What actually is behind those temptations?

These are fundamental questions to answer when discussing the topic of infidelity and today we're breaking 'em all down. We know for certain that infidelity is devastating and people will experience a wide range of emotions such as feelings of betrayal, anger, guilt, shame, etc. We all know it can be very frustrating and challenging navigating through infidelity, but today Leonard and Charles are touching on how to navigate those emotions while your relationship or marriage is on life support.

Today we sit down with Eli and Tarik to hear their perspectives on growing up Black in America, covering topics such as racism, experiences with police, and more. Listen in to hear their unique perspectives on what it's like to be Black in America.

Today we sit down with a young man by the name of David Andrade, currently a student earning his Bachelor's in Social Work and applying for Masters in Social Work programs.

David himself never knew his father. Together, we break down the struggles of growing up fatherless, the topics of abuse and trauma and pain, and more.

Imagine getting that call and having a caseworker come into your home and tell you what you need to do to get your children back, or for them to leave you alone. Let us assure you, the world does not end at that moment. Let's talk about it. Navigating child welfare can be difficult, and we are here to talk it through. 

Conrad Robinson, a child welfare worker and fatherhood practitioner himself, joins us to provide some tips on how to navigate this daunting scenario.

Charles sat down with Joseph to discuss fatherhood in Indian Country. Joseph isn’t a father himself. However, pulling on the memories of his grandfather and father, he shares his thoughts about fatherhood in Indian Country from his experience as a member of the Northern Cheyenne Tribe. Together, we explore father absenteeism in Indian Country, as well as other problems that ensue within the family. We walked away from the conversation with a realization that we are different and yet similar. Tune in to hear his thoughts about fatherhood, as well as culture, and the power we have to create our own. 

Joseph is a member of the Northern Cheyenne Tribe, Obama Fellow, & an Architect.

Today we're talking to another gifted, black, young man, Jakhari. Jakhari is a young teen who has participated in our programming for over one year now and he has some words of wisdom to share, including his thoughts on the struggles currently facing young black men in America.

Listen in to hear what Jakhari has to say, and also some of how we struggled with race ourselves in our youth.

In this episode, we had an honest conversation about police brutality, COVID-19, and what it means to be Black in America with two amazing Black boys, Kadin and Jayce.

Kadin is 12 years old and Jace is 8 years old. They shared their honest opinions, from the lens of black youth, about what is happening today, as well as how they’ve been feeling. Tune in to hear their journey navigating these situations as young, gifted, and Black boys in America.