LEAP: Listen, Empathize, Affirm, Problem Solve - Advice on divorce, managing confrontation, and more
By A.J. Grossman
LEAP: Listen, Empathize, Affirm, Problem Solve - Advice on divorce, managing confrontation, and moreMay 27, 2022
Leap Frog Divorce - Behind The Name
I was recently speaking with a friend, and they asked me how I came up with the name Leap Frog Divorce. I actually love when people ask me that question because I believe it gives insight to how I run my company and who I am as a person.
There are 4 main reasons why I chose the name Leap Frog Divorce.
1) When I was getting my undergraduate degree in business administration, my professor was discussing something called 'leap frogging'. Essentially it means that a company looks at what other companies are doing well, and they do it better. I wanted to help #divorce and #paternity clients by providing services to help them reach their goals in a higher quality way that the rest.
2) Since before I can remember, I have always had a fascination with frogs. I loved them. From statues in my room to ornaments and even stuffed animals, you could always find a frog with me.
3) I wanted the name of my company to stand out. I didn't want to be just another lawyer in Orlando with a mundane name or just tack my name on the back of the word 'divorce.' I wanted to stand apart from the rest because our service is excellent. Leap Frog divorce is different, and we wanted that to shine through the name.
4) Perhaps my favorite of the reasons, but I was brainstorming on a piece of paper, and I handed it to my wife. I told her to pick out whichever name leaped out to her. She almost immediately said 'Leap Frog Divorce.'
Leap Frog Divorce is not just a name. It's part of what I have tried to create. High-quality help. High-quality service. High-quality results.
Contact | Blog | Family Law
Show Transcript
Welcome everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer and certified family mediator with Leap Frog Divorce. Thank you for joining me today. You know, I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and this particular friend is important in my life. And he was asking me, how did you come up with the name Leap Frog Divorce? And you know, I get that question from time to time. And I love that question. Because the answer gives you some insight into who I am as a person. And he suggested that I make a video explaining how I came up with the name. So that's what I'm going to share with you today.
So there are basically four reasons or purposes for the name Leap Frog Divorce. First I can remember when I was getting my undergraduate degree at San Jose State University, in Business Administration, and I was in one of my business courses, and we were discussing different strategies for implementing new products or new services, and the term leapfrogging came up.
Basically, what it is, is when you leapfrog, you do what your competitors are doing. So in my case, that would be other divorce lawyers, and you take what they're doing, and you do it better, cheaper, faster, higher quality, with more value, whatever it may be. So taking what's out in the marketplace and doing it better.
And that was my whole thought process behind starting Leap Frog Divorce was I wanted to help divorce clients and paternity clients by doing the services that they expect and providing the services that they need to help them reach a goal. But I wanted to do it in a different way. I wanted to do it in a better way, a more efficient way, a higher quality way. And so that was reason number one.
Reason number two is I can remember, as a child, I was fascinated by frogs. I had frog piggy banks, I had frog Christmas tree ornaments, I had frog figurines, stuffed animals, you name it, I was fascinated by frogs. So frogs have always had a, I guess, a special place in my heart. And so that was reason number two…
The Leap Frog Difference - How I Set Myself Apart From The Rest
A question I often receive is 'what makes you different from other lawyers and I have to say, I love that question. It opens up an opportunity for me to tell others about myself and let them know just how different I am.
My experience helps me to find common ground with clients. Sometimes I can connect with people about golf, track and field, or even computer technicians. I have experience in all of those, and it helps clients to see that I'm down to earth just like them.
I also set myself apart in my ability to empathize with clients. I let them know that they have a voice and that what they have to say is important.
If that sounds like the qualities you'd want in a lawyer, call me. We can discuss the particulars of your case.
Show Transcript
Thank you for joining me today. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer and certified family mediator with Leap Frog Divorce.
You know, one of the questions I love to get is, so what makes you different from all the other divorce lawyers I find on Google? Or you know, all those billboards that I see around the Orlando area? What makes you so different? I love that question because I get to tell a little bit about who I am and my story and my journey.
Unlike many of my fellow divorce lawyers, I had what I would call a life before I became a lawyer. And so I was able to explore different careers, different jobs, everything from information technology careers to financial careers, you name it, I gave it a try. And I was successful at some and unsuccessful at others.
Another thing that makes me different is my ability and skill in empathizing with people, basically providing them with a voice and acknowledging that what they've told me or what they've shared with me has value.
You know, I remember reading a book many years ago that talked about the number one complaint about lawyers from consumers. And it was that we're all cold and heartless. And really, what that means is that we lack empathy. We lack the ability to place ourselves in somebody else's situation. And feel or imagine what that must feel like. And so I've made it a mission of mine, a personal mission and a professional mission, to train myself to educate myself on effective empathy.
And that's one of the things that I think distinguishes me from many of my colleagues, other divorce lawyers, is when I sit with somebody, when I sit with a client, or a potential client during a consultation, I'm giving that person 100% of my attention. My cell phone is nowhere to be found. I'm taking notes. But I'm looking at them in the eye, eye to eye contact. I'm nodding. And I'm reflecting back to them what I heard them say. That's something that makes me very different.
And oftentimes, I get feedback from people I talk to. Clients, potential new clients who say thank you so much. I feel so much better now after we talked than when I first came to you. You know, you're one of the few people that actually listened to me, and actually heard me and saw me. That's it. That is incredible feedback for me. And it really tells me that I am on the right track with distinguishing myself from other divorce lawyers.
So if that's important to you, in your lawyer, a lawyer who will give you 100% of his or her attention, and actively listen to you, so that you truly feel heard, then I would, I would encourage you to give me a call. Just reach out to me.
How One Paternity Case Gave Me Hope
I'd like to share this story of a #paternitycourt case I had, but before I do, I think it's important to know that paternity cases are when an unmarried couple has a child together and either the father wants to establish legal rights to the child, or the mother wants the biological father to pay child support.
A client came to me and informed me that the father of her daughter showed up and took her daughter, and disappeared. It wasn't until he contacted her weeks later that he informed her that she won't have the opportunity to see her daughter or talk to her ever again.
This case ended up going to trial. The #judge ended up warding m client with the majority of #custody and read the riot act to the child's father.
This is the type of case I enjoy taking on because I know that my contribution will make a difference in this world. I represented this client for free. Doing this reminds me that I'm doing good things in this world. I am being the positive change that I want to see.
If you're looking for a compassionate, knowledgeable, and experienced lawyer, give me a call. We can go over the details of your case and see if we'd be a good fit to work together.
Show Transcript
For those of you that don't know, paternity is basically when two unmarried people have a child together, and one of them, maybe the father, wants to establish some legal rights to that child, or maybe the mother wants the biological father to pay child support to help raise that child.
And so this was a sad situation, but I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to help this particular client out. And I found out later that the work that I did on this case really transformed her life for the better. It was going in a bad direction. And somehow, through the work that I did and the result I was able to achieve for her, it put her back on the straight and narrow path, if you will.
So real quick, here's the story. So my client had come to me complaining that the father of her daughter had shown up at her apartment one evening, I think it was during a holiday, and took her daughter and disappeared. She didn't know where he was, didn't know where her daughter was until he contacted her weeks later. And basically let her know that he has taken their daughter and intends to have her reside with him 100% of the time, and she's not going to have the opportunity to talk to her, see her or spend any time with her.
So when she came to me, needless to say, she was in a very dark place. And so, without going into all of the details, because this video would be too long, I will say that we had a trial in front of a judge. And I was very successful for my client. And at the end of the day, the judge awarded my client with sole custody, if you will, awarded her the majority of time sharing or visitation with her daughter, gave her what we call makeup time-sharing extra time with her daughter, and basically read the riot act to the child's father.
And I did that case without charging my client. I did it for free.
And that's one of those cases over the 12 years that I've been practicing family law that always reminds me that I'm doing good things in this world and that I'm changing the world, one person, one family, one child at a time. And that's what keeps me going every day. That's what drives me is making that positive change in the world that I want to see.
So, if I sound like the type of lawyer that you would want to work with, the type of lawyer who seems sincere to you, somebody you can trust, I encourage you to reach out to me and contact me I'd be happy to help you with whatever your situation might be.
Lawyer Tips - Do You Need A Compassionate Lawyer Or A Shark?
When searching for a lawyer, people often ask whether they need a shark of a lawyer or someone a bit more compassionate. They also think that because I generally lead with compassion, empathy, and kindness that it means I can't be a shark. That couldn't be further from the truth.
When it's needed, I will be unyielding or resolute in order to achieve the best outcome for my client. I just don't find it necessary to maintain that mindset during a one-on-one chat with a client or during coaching sessions. I save my 'dark side' for the courtroom.
I find it best if you get a mix of dark and light in a lawyer when choosing who will help present your case. If you choose an aggressive lawyer, you lose out on the psychology of the case. If you choose a lawyer who is only empathic and cooperative, you miss that determined and unwavering support of a shark.
It's important to have a balance.
Show TranscriptWelcome, welcome. Welcome, everyone. And thank you for joining me today. Do you really need an aggressive lawyer, or will a good-natured lawyer be enough? Let's talk about that.
You know, many people talk about needing an aggressive lawyer or a shark of a lawyer. And they think that because I lead with compassion, patience, empathy, and kindness, that I must not be that guy. You're very likely to see me smiling or playing the guitar because I love making music and living my life in a positive way. And you should know that I will also be unyielding and resolute when necessary, and certainly if I'm in a divorce trial.
You know, those determined, aggressive moments aren't usually necessary when I'm having a one-on-one chat with a client or while I'm in a coaching session. But when circumstances require a fight, I can pack a punch and have done so successfully for my clients for well over a decade.
You know, I believe that both sides, the light and the dark, are required for a lawyer to be effective. If you only have an aggressive attorney, you'll miss on the nuance of psychology. If you only have an empathic, cooperative lawyer, you won't benefit from a determined, unwavering attorney. So I built my firm Leap Frog Divorce around being both.
Yes, I lead with amicable solutions because I fundamentally believe in that life philosophy. However, I've won many cases by having to yield purposeful, assertive, and confrontational language to reach my client's goals, which is always to the benefit of my clients no matter what.
Thank you for joining me today. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer and certified family mediator with Leap Frog Divorce. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up and consider subscribing to my YouTube channel. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day.
Divorce Negotiations - How A Poker Face Can Change The Game
In an effort to continuously let my clients (and potential clients) know who I am, I am making these videos that highlight what type of lawyer I am.
As I've been making these videos, it reminded me of when I worked for a Fortune 500 company. Once, my manager approached me and asked me why I was so quiet. I told him that I'm more of a listener than a talker.
I've noticed through the years that effective #listening is sort of a lost art. I don't have to speak to listen, and if I have something important to say, I will say it. There's no point in talking just to talk.
This led me to liken negotiations in #divorce to people who play poker.
People who play poker are incredibly difficult to read. I find the same about negotiations. People who talk too much reveal too much. I listen, analyze, and come up with a plan according to what I effectively listen to.
When I do talk, it's for a purpose. That's the type of #lawyer I am. Like a poker player, I don't give away too much, and I hold my client's cards close to me.
When my clients ask me why I'm so quiet, I explain this theory to them, and a light bulb goes off.
I hope this gives some more insight into who I am and how I operate as a lawyer. If you think that hiring a lawyer that will listen to you and not just talk to hear themselves would be a good fit for you, give me a call.
Show Transcript
I was reminded of a situation when I was working for a Fortune 500 company, managing a team of information technology professionals. And I remember sitting in many, many meetings. And I remember my manager coming to me and saying, A.J., you're so quiet. Why don't you say anything in the meetings? And I remember that struck me as odd.
I've always considered myself more of a listener than a talker. Listening to me, effective listening is really a lost skill. And I remember looking at him and saying, Well, I'm more of a listener than a talker. And so I take in a lot of information, I take notes. And when I feel it's important for me to add my thoughts, my opinions, and my suggestions, then I will.
However, if I feel that my ideas have already been fleshed out by other people, then I'm not going to talk just for the sake of talking. I'm much more of a listener. And it made me think about negotiations in divorce cases and poker.
And so to me, some of the best poker players are incredibly difficult, if not impossible to read, they don't have any telltale signs, you know, their ears don't twitch, their eyebrows don't raise, their, you know, they don't start tapping their feet, they are unable to read. And I find the same thing with negotiation in divorce cases.
People who talk too much give away too much. And so I'm quiet. I'm listening. I'm taking in information. I'm analyzing the information, and I'm thinking about strategy. And I think that by not talking too much, I'm not giving away too much. I'm holding my client’s cards close to me. And then when I do talk, I'm talking with intent, with purpose, with a goal for my verbal communication. That's the type of lawyer I am.
Like the best poker players, I'm not giving away too much information. I'm trying to gather as much information as I can. And I'm trying to do more observing and listening than talking. Sometimes clients, after a mediation or negotiation session, will say to me, A.J., you didn't talk very much. And I'll pull them aside. And I'll say, yeah, and let me tell you why. Or let me share with you the reasons why I didn't speak too much.
And so once I share with them what I've shared with you today, it's almost like a light bulb goes off over their head, and they go, Oh, I get it.
Alimony - What You Should Know if You're in a Situation Like This
Today I'd like to share a client's story. She will remain anonymous, but the story is important all the same.
In this particular situation, the client's husband was being particularly difficult to work with. He was refusing financial support and child support and refused to disclose accurate financial information since he was self-employed.
Stories like these are important because they highlight why you need a lawyer that will fight for you and help make sure that you get what you deserve!
Show Transcript
You know, today I'd like to share with you a story. It's a client story. My client shall remain nameless and anonymous. But the story is really, really interesting anyway.
So this is a story about alimony and a spouse, in this particular case, a husband, that was being really prickly, if you will, or very difficult. So my client was a wife and mother. And she was having incredible difficulty through the divorce process with her husband.
Her husband refused to provide her with the financial support that she needed. The children were residing with her most of the time, he refused to provide her with any financial support for the kids. The kids were older, teenagers, so they ate a lot. It costs quite a bit to support those children. There was even a family pet, a dog, involved, and it was my client's dog before the marriage, and the husband refused to let my client see the dog or spend any time with the dog. And to pile on top of that, her husband was self-employed and refused to disclose accurate financial information.
And so, while we tried, we were unable to negotiate a settlement in this case. And we really had to go with the last resort, which was a trial in a courtroom in front of a judge.
And so we had the trial. And I remember the judge, in this case, addressing the husband directly and saying, sir, if this is the best kind of parent you can be, you are clearly not the better parent in this case.
I was so happy and glad that the judge, in this case, felt confident enough and secure enough to deliver that kind of message to this husband that was just making things more difficult than they needed to be.
So to fast forward, my client got alimony for the entire duration that they were married, and she got the child support that she was entitled to. She got the majority of time sharing with all of the children. When the children were going to be spending time at her residence, the husband was supposed to bring the dog, and the dog was going to spend time with my client at her house.
And because the husband was not transparent with his financial information, the judge imputed him or tagged him with the level of income that I argued was reasonable to assign to him or to assess to him. And so, at the end of the day, my client got a great result.
I'd like to say we won that trial, or my client won that trial. And I can remember the feeling after that trial and getting the judge's decision. And I was so elated and happy for my client that all of the work, the hard work, the preparation, the dedication to detail, letting my competitive spirit come out and doing everything and then going one step beyond when I felt like I had done everything to make sure that my client had the best possible chance of getting an outstanding result. I just felt so self-fulfilled.
And I remember feeling like I changed the world in a positive way on that day with my efforts. That's one of the reasons I practice law. It's one of the reasons I'm a divorce attorney is to make a positive impact in the world, one family at a time. Helping people to resolve divorces as best as possible and as amicably as possible, and when that can't happen, taking their family into the courtroom and arguing before the judge to get a great result for my client.
The Resolute Competitor
In general, if you like someone and trust someone, they might be a good fit for your life. The same goes for an attorney. If you like them and trust them, they're probably a good one to use.
I wanted to tell a bit more about my story so that people know how I operate as a lawyer.
My entire life, I have been very competitive. One year we had the opportunity to make some art, and the prize was to be placed in the local art gallery window for all to see. I made a beautiful painting of a seaside castle, and I won! I was thrilled and so proud that my hard work paid off.
Another example is that I used to run track and field. I was even the national record holder for my event. I worked very hard and trained even harder to give my best performance at the national championship, but alas, I didn't win. I was beyond devastated.
This drive and competitiveness followed me into my practice of law.
I heard someone use the word 'resolute' in describing my work as a lawyer. It means unyielding, and it's a very accurate description.
I always do my best job so that when I go home, I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I did all I could for a person and their case.
Rarely do I show this side of myself, and I'm typically a very peaceful person. If the situation calls for it, I am ready to go toe to toe with whoever is on the other side.
Show Transcript
Part of my story has to do with my competitiveness. I've always been a competitor. I can remember being in an after-school art program and doing oil paintings and sculptures with clay. And I remember one year, in particular, we had the opportunity to compete for a placement in the local gallery window of our local gallery, and I did a painting, it was a kind of a seaside type painting with an old castle, something that you might find in Ireland, or Scotland or England. And fortunate enough for me, my painting was chosen, and it was prominently displayed in the front window of the gallery. And so that's just one example of my competitiveness. I also ran track and field when I was younger and was the national record holder for my event. And I can remember training and practicing and training and practice for the National Championships, which that year were out in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I worked and worked and worked and trained over and over and over so that I could give my best performance in the competition to be the national record holder. And I did not win at the national championships, and I was devastated. I had put in so much hard work. And so that type of competition has followed me into my practice of law. I am a fierce competitor. I was talking with somebody the other day. And they used a word to describe me that nobody had shared with me previously. And that word is resolute or unyielding in one's convictions. That's the type of lawyer I am. That's the type of legal competitor I am. So when I am representing a client in the courtroom, whether it's at a hearing or a trial, I am a resolute competitor. And in family law, we don't like to talk about winning and losing. But for me, as a lifelong competitor, I want to do the best job I can for my client each and every time.
Your Emotions and Feelings Matter During A Divorce
That guitar riff is something new, and I thought it would be a good idea to give you a glimpse of who I am as a person and how I use the emotions and feelings I feel when playing music and apply them to my cases.
I am a creative person at heart and have played guitar player for over 40 years. I was in a rock band in San Francisco, wrote and performed original music, and even had songs on the radio. As a lawyer, that is a testament to how I practice law. The guitar is about emotions and feelings. I had to dig deep inside to feel those emotions while performing and writing music. I've now had to do the same as a lawyer.
We are emotional beings well before logic and make decisions based on those emotions. My client's feelings are central to my reason for being a lawyer. Unfortunately, many divorce lawyers only want to focus on facts and what law applies. They don't want to go beyond that, and they don't believe that's their role. They want to apply the law and come to a conclusion.
Fortunately, I'm different. Feelings and emotions matter to me. I will pay attention to those things. I will use emotions and feelings to tell your story. Who doesn't love a good story? If I tell a story only based on facts, where is the draw in that? I have to bring in emotions and feelings.
That's the type of lawyer I am. My client's feelings and emotions are vital, and I use them to persuade the judge to see your side of things.
Achieving Work Life Balance
Work-life balance has always been important to me. I never wanted to work 70 hours and 7 days a week. I avoided big law firms because they require lots of hours.
My first tip for achieving your work-life balance goals is to put your important things on your calendar. Whether it be working out, projects, walks with family, swimming in the pool, or catching up on emails, block it off. If you don't, you won't get to it.
Realize that time is our most critical and scarce resource. When a minute is gone, you'll never get it back.
Focus on what is important to you. Remember, people are driven to succeed and create visions. You pour yourself into work and success but don't forget about 'life.' Make sure that you're making time for your spouse, friends, kids, and more. It's essential that you don't forget about them during your busy life.
I try to think about it like this. If I were to lose someone close to me, I would not feel good if I prioritized other times (like work) over them.
Think about what you want your tombstone to say. Do you want it to say 'He billed a lot of hours' or 'Wonderful son, friend, husband, compassionate, and a good listener'?
Calendar Time Blocking Priorities
Time management is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of entrepreneurship.
I'm 55, and I've worked in Fortune 500 companies, owned my own businesses, and attended time management workshops, webinars, and seminars. The number one tip that has stayed with me this entire time is to make sure that you're blocking time on a calendar for the things that you feel are a priority and important in your life.
Important things that you need to block out time for can include lunch, taking breaks, breaks with family, answering emails, making phone calls, etc.
Unfortunately, if you don't block out those times, these things have a tendency to fall to the wayside and never get done.
If you find it to be something important, mark that time off and stick to it. Otherwise, you won't do it.
Show Transcript
In this video, I'm going to talk about divorce in Florida and bankruptcy. Hi, everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer, and owner of Leap Frog Divorce.
So some of my clients have come to me seeking a divorce and almost simultaneously either going through bankruptcy, or they're thinking about bankruptcy. And they really want to know how a bankruptcy will impact their divorce or how a divorce will impact their bankruptcy.
So, for the last decade, actually longer than a decade, I have focused my practice solely on family law, divorces and paternity. I don't do immigration. I don't do criminal law. I don't do personal injury, and I don't do bankruptcy. So when I get a client who is either thinking about bankruptcy or is going through a bankruptcy, I either find out who their bankruptcy attorney is, or I connect them with a bankruptcy attorney because there are some very important considerations between a divorce and bankruptcy.
And the number one question I get from my clients is if I get a settlement agreement in my divorce, does that makes my spouse responsible for certain credit card debt? If they don't pay, will the credit card company go after them and leave me out of it? Am I off the hook if my divorce settlement agreement makes them responsible for those credit card debts? The long answer is no. And the short answer is no. You will not be off the hook.
And why is that? Because a divorce settlement agreement is not binding on a third party like a creditor, like the credit card company that issued you the credit card. So if during your marriage that you guys put debt on that credit card, technically you're jointly responsible and what we call severally responsible for that debt. So what that means is that credit card companies can come after both of you or either one of you individually, and they're not going to care what your divorce settlement says. So if you have those concerns, you might consider meeting with a bankruptcy attorney.
Of course, if you are in a position where you're thinking about bankruptcy anyway, and you don't have a bankruptcy attorney, I can refer you to some wonderful bankruptcy attorneys I know. And we will work together, me as your divorce lawyer and that other attorney as your bankruptcy attorney will coordinate and work together to create the best strategy for your divorce involving both a divorce and bankruptcy.
So I hope this video was helpful. If it was, please like and subscribe. I'm releasing new videos all the time. Thank you so much for watching. Have a wonderful day and be well.
What Do Divorce Lawyers Actually Do?
This episode provides an explanation of what divorce lawyers do to help people with divorce.
At Leap Frog Divorce, we help people transform their families through the divorce process. Couples with children will always be a family, whether divorced or still together. When parents divorce, their family will still be a family. It will simply be a different kind of family. It is important for children to have the stability of mom and dad. And while mom and dad may not want to stay married anymore, they still have to fulfill their important roles as parents.
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Show Transcript
You know, a lot of people ask me, what is it that divorce lawyers do? And how is it that they help people? Hi, everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, Divorce Lawyer, certified family mediator and dispute resolution specialist with Leap Frog Divorce.
So divorce lawyers do a lot of things with their clients. And divorce law is one of the most interesting areas of law for me. And it really gives me an opportunity to fulfill my counselor role.
So, as a divorce lawyer, I don't just look at somebody's factual situation, and think about what law applies and advise them of their rights. It's so much more than that. It's helping them through the practical aspects of divorce, like, what do I do about my finances? What do I do about registering my children for school? What do I do about finding a new place to live? Do I need to leave the house? Should I ask my spouse to leave the house? How do I plan for the future? How am I ever going to be able to retire? You know, how do I parent with my child's father or mother?
And so really, it's counseling with people.
I kind of compare it to somebody who has a map, let's say that you're going to a place you've never been before. And it would be really helpful to have a guide, who knows the terrain, knows the pitfalls and dangers, knows the good routes to take. Well, that's what I am for people in a divorce. I'm the guide. I have a roadmap. I can help people avoid pitfalls and the dangers that can come up in divorce. I know the terrain I can help guide them effectively, to help them get divorced faster, for the least amount of expense, whatever their goals are. I'm their guide with a map.
So when people ask me what is it divorce lawyers do and how can they help people? That's what I usually say, Well, I'm the guide with the map. I can help them get to wherever it is they need to go.
I hope you've enjoyed this video. If you want to learn more, please subscribe. My name is A.J. Grossman, Divorce Lawyer, certified mediator and dispute resolution specialist with Leap Frog Divorce. Have a wonderful day.
Divorce and Bankruptcy
Occasionally I will get couples that are seeking a divorce and simultaneously a bankruptcy, or at least thinking of it.
Since I focus solely on family law, I cannot necessarily help them with the bankruptcy portion, but I am more than willing to find out who their bankruptcy attorney is and, if they don't have one, help them find one.
The number one question I get from those seeking bankruptcy and divorce is 'if I get a settlement agreement in my divorce when the other spouse is responsible for the debt, will they leave me alone if my spouse opts not to pay?' The answer is no. You are not off the hook.
A divorce settlement agreement isn't binding on a 3rd party like a creditor. Technically, debt that was incurred during a marriage is a joint responsibility. They can come after both individuals.
If you have concerns about filing for divorce and bankruptcy at the same time, don't hesitate to reach out. I can refer you to an attorney I trust, and we can coordinate with one another to work on the best resolution for you.
What Is A Typical Retainer Fee For A Divorce Attorney?
What is a typical retainer fee for a divorce attorney? This episode provides some information about what you can expect for a divorce lawyer retainer.
The retainer you will have to provide to your divorce lawyer will depend upon a lot of things. Regardless, you can expect a retainer to fall within a typical range of amounts. Some lawyers might offer a flat fee for your divorce which means you will not have to provide a retainer. In Central Florida, divorce lawyer retainer fees usually fall within a typical range of amounts.
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Show Transcript
Hi, welcome everybody. I'm attorney A.J. Grossman with Leap Frog Divorce. I'm a divorce lawyer, a certified family mediator, and a dispute resolution specialist.
So a question I get a lot is, what is a typical retainer for a divorce lawyer? So this question is going to vary, it's going to vary based upon which part of the state you're in. It's going to vary upon what kind of a lawyer are you talking to? Are you talking to a lawyer who, like myself, who focuses 100% of their practice on doing divorce work and divorce-related matters? Or are you talking to somebody like a criminal lawyer, or an immigration lawyer, maybe a bankruptcy lawyer, who also does a little bit of family law on the side?
I can tell you that an average retainer that I would expect if I was looking for a divorce lawyer, is going to typically be somewhere between $2,000 and $5,000, if not more. There are some divorce lawyers here in Central Florida who charge a $10,000 flat fee, if you will, in lieu of a retainer, to take your case through one mediation.
There are other lawyers depending upon the complexity of the case. If you have a lot of assets, let's say you have some vacation homes, maybe you have multiple businesses, some complexity to your financial estate, then a lawyer might charge you a little bit more, maybe $7,000, $8,000, $10,000, $15,000 wouldn't be unheard of for a very complex case with a lot of issues. But in general, I would say expect a divorce lawyer's retainer fee to be somewhere between $2,000 and $5,000.
I hope this information was helpful for you. If it was helpful, please subscribe. I've got videos coming out once a week that I think you'll find very helpful. So again, I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer with Leap Frog Divorce, be well.
How To Keep Employees During The Great Resignation, Part 2
Most employers have found themselves in a position where an employee may not be performing well in a particular role.
You will have to ask yourself if you have matched this person's unique strengths with their roles and responsibilities of this job.
Do you have the right person in the wrong seat or perhaps the wrong person in the right seat?
If you're unsure about your employee's strengths, have them take a skill assessment or personality assessment. It can help you identify their top strengths.
Instead of trying to identify and strengthen their weaknesses (a common tactic in the past), focus on their strengths and build on them. Make sure that their role and responsibilities maximize their strengths.
Also, remember that we all have natural talents. Not everyone will be the same. Some people are strong when talking to others or persuading them, and others are wonderful with detail-oriented tasks and motivating people. We tend to develop our strengths when we are young through education, experiences, and our parents.
I guarantee if you identify your employee's strengths and put them in a position to help them, they'll be happier, you'll be happier and ultimately they are more likely to stay with you and your company.
How Does Alimony Work In Florida?
Alimony in Florida can be confusing because there is no formula. Because we don't have an alimony formula, alimony amounts depend upon the specifics of each case and each family. Have you heard or read that you are entitled to a certain amount of alimony based upon your spouse's income? The problem is there is no law to support it!
This episode will help you understand how alimony works in Florida so that you can have a better idea of what alimony might be in your divorce.
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How To Keep Employees During The Great Resignation, Part 1
You may have heard of 'The Great Resignation' or that a lot of employees are quitting their jobs and transitioning to new ones. Having a high employee turnover rate is not optimal for businesses. That is why I wanted to start a series of tips to keep employee turnover rates at a minimum while boosting company morale.
The first tip I'd like to share is to ask the employee what is important to them. My suggestion is to ask them that question in their initial interview so you can get an idea of what motivates them personally. You can ask them what they were not getting at their previous job that enticed them to look elsewhere.
The fact is that you'll never know what your employee is looking for if you don't ask.
- 'What are you not getting that will help you do your job better?'
- 'What are you not getting that will help you achieve that work/life balance?'
- 'What do you need that we can provide that will help you feel more satisfied?'
Odds are that your employee will wholeheartedly appreciate the fact that you cared enough to ask.
Uncontested Divorce - Here's What You Need To Know
In this episode, A.J. Grossman discusses what it truly means to get an uncontested divorce here in the state of Florida.
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So what do you need to know about uncontested divorce? All right, let's start with defining it.
An uncontested divorce basically means that you and your spouse have come to an agreement on all the issues in your divorce. So if you're parents, you've agreed on how you're going to co-parent your children after you're divorced, you've agreed to how you're going to split up the things that you own your assets and the things that you owe your debts or liabilities. You've also agreed on whether there will be any alimony in your situation or financial support to the other one, you've also come to an agreement regarding what child support is going to be. And basically, there are no issues left to agree on, you settled everything. That will qualify for an uncontested divorce. So what that means is, you don't have to go in front of a judge to have a judge make a decision about how your divorce is going to be settled. You've done that already. So really, it's a streamlined process, which does vary from county to county. But for the most part, it's a streamlined process where you should be able to get divorced within maybe three months, we do have a mandatory waiting period in Florida of 20 days. An uncontested divorce should not cost as much as a contested divorce. Costs will vary depending upon whether you decide to hire a lawyer, or whether you decide to go to a mediator or a document preparation service, whoever you're going to use to help you with your uncontested divorce. It will also depend upon whether you have children or not. And the reason for that is because Florida requires what's called a parenting plan. It's a document that specifies what the visitation agreement is for your children and the custody agreement. And so it takes a little bit more time it takes some extra work to prepare a parenting plan so that uncontested divorce with children is likely going to cost more than an uncontested divorce without children. Will you have to appear in front of a judge? There are some counties that require spouses to make an appearance in front of a judge in order to get that final judgment. And then there are other counties that don't require that you can simply mail in your divorce paperwork packet to the judge, and the judge will review it and sign it and enter the final judgment. So it's really going to depend on the county. Can you do it yourself without hiring a lawyer or without hiring a mediator? Yes, you can. All of the forms are available online. You can find them for free. If you don't want to try and find them you could go to the clerk of courts at your local courthouse. They may or may not have a packet of those forms available for a nominal fee. Maybe $20 or $25. And some of our courthouses have what I'll call self-help centers where they're staffed with lawyers that you can pay to review your paperwork or answer your questions or give you advice. So can you do it? Yes. Would I recommend that you do it? Not in all circumstances. There are some situations where it's probably perfectly okay for somebody to try and do their own uncontested divorce. But there are other situations where I would not recommend it, like when one or both of you have pensions, retirement accounts, like 401K's or 403B's, if you have IRAs, if you have investments, if you own a business, if you own multiple properties, those are not situations where I would ever recommend that somebody do a DIY uncontested divorce.
How To Have A Difficult Conversation With a Partner
Difficult conversations are never on our top list of priorities but unfortunately, the need to have them comes up from time to time.
Difficult conversations with a partner (whether a business partner or a life partner) are especially challenging because of the nature of the relationship.
Let's take a look at what a typical heated conversation looks like as an example of what not to do. Usually in these types of conversations we hear a lot of defending of oneself and accusing the other person. This accomplishes nothing except maybe to escalate the conflict and slammed doors.
If you can adequately learn how to have a learning conversation as opposed to an accusatory one, you'll be much better off.
Approach a difficult conversation with lots of questions and try to see the conflict through their eyes. Ask them what their perspective is on the conflict so they can help you to understand what they're feeling. Tell them that you want their opinion.
This is such a better approach. You can use this 'learning conversation' for difficult conversation topics ranging from household finances to marketing decisions within your company.
The fighting and resentment techniques don't work. But you may be surprised at the result when you invite your partner to share their perspective.
Are Mothers Considered The Superior Parent In A Divorce?
There's a belief that during a divorce, the state will always assume that the mother is the superior parent. While that might once have been true, it is no longer the case. At least here in Florida.
In this episode, A.J. Grossman will explain why the idea of mothers always being considered the superior parent is just another divorce myth.
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Show Transcript
Hi, everyone, welcome. Thank you for joining me today. My name is A.J. Grossman and I'm a divorce attorney with Leap Frog Divorce. I'm also a Florida Supreme Court certified family mediator, and a dispute resolution specialist.
You know, after doing divorces for over a decade now I've talked with a lot of potential clients and clients who are mothers. And they usually come into a divorce, believing that for whatever reason that the mom is a superior parent. And the reasons are varied. Some believe that it's the mom that is a superior parent because they're the ones who physically gave birth to the child, or historically, that's the way it's always been, or mothers are better mentally equipped to take care of children, to pay attention to children to nurture children. And that historically, or traditionally, a dad's role was as a provider, you know, to go out in the fields, to hunt and kill game, or to you know, labor, doing whatever and then to bring money home to support the family.
And those really are outdated concepts, I can tell you that Florida has done a wonderful job over the years, trying to revise the language in their laws regarding, you know, typical stereotypes or biases, men versus women, dads versus moms. And I can tell you that our judges, for the most part, do a really good job of looking at a mom and dad as equal parents. Our Florida laws reflect that each parent should enjoy the time with children raising children, rearing children, they're both equally important parents.
And so when it comes to things like visitation or custody, which is how most people think of it, you know, without getting too much into technical details in Florida, we don't refer to visitation and custody, we call it time-sharing and parental responsibility. But to keep it simple, I'll refer to visitation and custody. They just don't consider or think about, well, Mom's going to have the majority of the visitation or Mom's going to have custody of all the children. Because dad is a lesser parent.
We don't have any kind of primary parent. We don't have any kind of like primary residential parent, or secondary residential parent. Florida law looks at moms and dads as equal parents and after they're divorced they are equal co-parents. And as a matter of fact, the default parenting arrangement or custody arrangement in Florida is called shared parental responsibility, which means mom and dads are going to cooperate when it comes to making decisions for their children and each parent has an equal right to contribute to the decision making process. So I hope that this video was helpful. I hope it helped to bust the myth that mothers are the superior parent when it comes to Florida law and divorces. They are not. If you found this video helpful please like and subscribe to my channel. I'm releasing new videos all the time with a lot of free information that I hope you will find very helpful. I hope you enjoy your holidays this season and be well.
Difficult Conversations With Employees and Assumptions
In my series 'Difficult Conversations With Employees,' I focus on different aspects of navigating tough times with employees. From making sure that they feel heard, down to assuming some of the responsibility of the conflict yourself.
This video focuses on a huge part of conflict called 'assumptions'. An assumption is when you go into something like a conversation thinking that you know something without concrete evidence or proof. For example, if you automatically think that an employee flopped a presentation because they 'just don't care about the company' then you're making an assumption.
My advice about assumptions? Leave it at the door. Assumptions have absolutely no place in a difficult conversation with an employee.
Adopt what I like to call a 'beginner's mind'. That is a good way to get questions answered about the things that you don't know. When speaking to an employee, let them offer you their reasoning and explanations without interjecting your assumption. If you ask them to help you understand the conflict then that is much different than assuming that you know.
If you choose to be accusatory or assume something, the only thing you'll accomplish is a defensive employee. That won't lead to a resolution of the issue at hand.
Learn through your employee's eyes. There may be something that you overlooked.
Divorce Doesn't Have To Be Hard
There are a lot of options to get divorced. Collaborative divorce is one option that can keep your divorce civil, safe, honest, and transparent. If you don't want your divorce to be hard, a collaborative divorce can be a fantastic alternative to the typical court battle that is portrayed in the media. Hiring a mediator is another great option to make a divorce less hard. A mediator can help to facilitate resolutions to the hard parts of a divorce. When does divorce become hard? We find that divorce becomes difficult when one or both spouses take a very stubborn approach to the situation. For example, if one spouse digs in their heels and insists they keep the house otherwise they'll take it to court, that makes it difficult to proceed with amicable solutions. At Leapfrog Divorce, we pride ourselves on helping people through difficult times. Divorce is difficult but it doesn't have to be hard. Give us a call to discuss your options.
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Can You Represent Yourself In A Divorce?
Can you represent yourself in your divorce? Yes, you can!
However, you need to realize that a judge is going to hold you to the same level as a seasoned attorney. They will expect you to know all of the rules, and what you can put in for evidence or keep out.
You may run into objections from the other side so you'll need to know how to handle that.
Unless you have the time and energy to bring yourself up to speed on all of the laws and rules, I strongly recommend hiring an experienced and ethical lawyer to help you.
One option is to order an attorney 'a la carte' style. They will be paid according to what you need them to do. They can be hired to just work with the paperwork or to prepare the documents for court. An attorney can even be hired to be your guide as opposed to a retained lawyer.
So, even though we don't recommend doing it all yourself, the answer is yes, you can represent yourself in your divorce case.
Show Transcript
Can you represent yourself in your own divorce? Absolutely, you can. Just be aware that a judge is going to hold you to the same level as a seasoned attorney.
In other words, a judge is going to expect you to know the rules, a judge is going to expect you to know the rules of evidence, which means you need to know what evidence is relevant, what evidence you can get in, and what evidence you can try and keep out.
The rules of evidence are rather complex. There are a lot of intricacies to evidence what you can get in and what you can keep out. You may or may not run into objections at a hearing or at trial from the other side when you try and introduce evidence. So you're going to need to know how to respond appropriately to those objections.
You're going to need to know how to conduct yourself in the courtroom, you're going to need to know how to address the judge, and you're going to need to know all of the rules to follow: rules for discovery rules for mandatory disclosure, local rules for hearings.
So unless you've got the time and the energy, to bring yourself up to speed relatively quickly, to handle your own divorce, I would highly recommend that you utilize the services of an experienced ethical professional Divorce Lawyer where you can. That doesn't mean you have to hire them to do everything for you. You can hire them for a specific purpose.
For example, maybe you want them to draft all the initial documents for you and file them with the court. You can hire a lawyer to do just that. Or maybe you want a lawyer to help prepare your case for mediation and to represent you at a mediation. You can do that too. Or maybe you want your lawyer to just handle the discovery phase, where you're trying to get information from your other spouse, you can hire a lawyer just to do that too. You can also hire a lawyer to act as your consultant. So you can pay that lawyer by the hour, or however, that lawyer might charge to consult with you when you have questions and to guide you.
So there are lots of options for you. But the answer to the question, can you represent yourself in your own divorce? Absolutely you can.
How To Have Difficult Conversations With Employees, Part 4
Most people are never taught how to have difficult conversations with other people. For business owners, managers, or anyone else who interacts with employees, it is critical to know some very basic tips and strategies for having these conversations.
In parts 1, 2, and 3 we discussed how letting your employee know that you sincerely care about what they're saying, allowing them to share their perspective on the conflict first, and asking open-ended questions can facilitate a successful conversation.
Your approach to having a difficult conversation with someone can mean the difference between building or maintaining a good relationship and destroying a relationship.
For more tips and coaching, please give me a call. I'm happy to guide you through difficult conversations with your employees.
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In this video, I'm going to talk more about how to have difficult conversations with employees. And this video is going to focus on the idea that each person in conflict has had some contribution to the conflict.
Rarely, if ever, is it just one-sided where one person should take 100% responsibility for the blame. And so what you want to do in your difficult conversation is, if you're the manager, help your employee understand that you recognize that you may have had a contribution, something you did, maybe something you said, that contributed to this conflict that you have with your, with your employee. What you don't want to do is you don't want to have a conversation, a difficult conversation with your employee, and convey the message that they're 100% responsible, you're pointing the finger at them, and they're all to blame. There was nobody else who bears any responsibility for this conflict.
So here's a hypothetical. So let's say you have an employee, Karen, and Karen did not perform very well on the last project that you assigned to her. Okay, so I'm going to have a difficult conversation with Karen as her manager. "Hi, Karen, thank you so much for meeting with me today. I know you're super busy. I feel like there's some conflict between the two of us regarding that last project that you worked on. And I don't want you to feel that I'm here to blame you or that this is a time for me to point my finger at you, and assign 100% blame to you. Really, this is our time to explore your perspective and my perspective and really talk openly and transparently about what each one of us maybe did or maybe said or didn't do that helped contribute to your performance on that project and this conflict between us. So I'd really like to start by hearing more about your perspective, would you feel comfortable sharing that with me?"
Okay, so immediately that should put your employee most of the time at ease, or at least more at ease because maybe, she's likely feeling that this meeting is not to shame her. This meeting is not to blame her. This meeting is not to beat her over the head about her poor performance. This is to explore what happened, and maybe some opportunities to make things better. I almost guarantee that that will help put your employee more at ease when you have difficult conversations with them simply by communicating that you don't think they're 100% responsible and that other people including yourself, might have some contribution to the conflict.
So I hope you've enjoyed this video. Thank you so much for watching. If you found value, please consider subscribing. Thank you so much. Be well and have a wonderful day.
How To Prepare For Your Divorce
What should you do in preparation for a divorce? Well, there are lots of things you can do. I typically tell my clients to establish their credit. If they don't have any credit cards, now's a good time to get some credit for emergencies. The good thing about applying for credit while you're still married is that you can apply using your family income. So that would include your spouse's income. After you guys separate, you probably won't be able to use your spouse's income because you don't have the benefit of that income anymore. So the better course of action is to apply for credit while you're still married. So at least you have some source of funds if your spouse decides to be rather aggressive and tries to cut you off from the bank accounts, leaving you with no access to money.
One of the other things I advise my clients to do is to change their will and change their estate planning documents. If you're getting ready to go through a divorce, and you happen to die during the divorce, you're still married as far as the state of Florida is concerned. So if you don't want your spouse, whom you're getting ready to divorce, to inherit through your will, then now's a good time to change your will and other estate planning documents.
One of the other things to do is to pull your free credit report. You can get a free credit report from all three of the major reporting agencies once a year. So it will be a good idea to get that report to see what your credit looks like. What accounts are open, and what accounts might be open that you're not aware of. Unfortunately, sometimes spouses will open up credit cards or credit card accounts in the other spouse's name without their knowledge. So it's a good idea now to get that report and check it out.
Another thing to do is to start gathering all of your financial documents. So get a hold of your tax returns, bank statements, and retirement statements, like a 401K or an IRA. If you have any financial records, now's a good time to start gathering copies of those. Make sure you have all of the monthly statements.
Also, start preparing a budget. Take a look at what your income is, together with your spouse, what you guys spend your money on, and then begin to estimate what your budget might look like just on your income. I would imagine it's going to look vastly different. So the sooner you start preparing a budget, just on your income, the better.
Start to build a support group with family, friends, and co-workers, maybe through your church or other religious organization. Support systems are essential. Divorce is the second most stressful event in any person's life. And so, having a sound support system there for you can be beneficial. So start now.
If you don't have a secure email address, now it'd be the time to get one. Sometimes people will share their email addresses and passwords with their spouses. Or maybe you and your spouse use a community computer in the center of the house that you share with your kids. You want to ensure that you have a secure email address that your spouse or your children can't access. So change your password. Get a new email address with a new password. Make sure that password is strong.
Start looking for a great attorney now. There are lots of outstanding divorce attorneys in your area. An excellent place to start is the internet or friends and family. Ask around, look at Google reviews, look at websites. Look at what other people say about their experience working with that attorney. You want to find a good one. So if you make an appointment and have a consultation with one and just don't click with that person, try somebody else. Some of us, like myself, give free consultations. So there are lots of options available for you. Do what you can to find a reasonable attorney who works for you.
How To Have Difficult Conversations With Employees, Part 3
Most people are never taught how to have #difficult #conversations with other people. For #business owners, managers, or anyone else who interacts with employees, it is critical to know some very basic tips and strategies for having these conversations.
In parts 1 and 2 we talked about how to make sure your employee knows that you sincerely care about what they have to say, and invite them to share their perspective of the conflict before you share yours.
Your approach to having difficult conversations with people can mean the difference between building or maintaining a good relationship and destroying a relationship.
In part 3 I would like to focus on making sure that you ask the right types of questions during your talk. Don't cross #examine your employee because that will automatically put them in #defense mode and you won't get anywhere with the conversation.
The key is to ask open-ended questions. These types of questions will begin with the words 'What, When, Where, Why, or How'. This leaves the door open for your employee to answer. For example, if you'd like to know why your employee is perpetually late. Instead of saying 'Why can't you make it to work on time?' instead, say 'What is going on in your life that is making you late for work?'.
If you need any guidance on difficult conversations with employees, I'm happy to help.
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Show Transcript
In this video, I'm going to talk more about how to have difficult conversations with employees. Hi, everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer, and owner of Leap Frog Divorce. So I've talked before about how to have difficult conversations with employees. And in this video, I want to focus on asking questions. And what you don't want to do is you don't want to cross-examine your employee, you don't want to ask questions that demand a yes or no answer. You want to focus on asking open-ended questions and open-ended questions are so easy. They all begin with what, where, when, why, or how. And when you ask those questions, it basically leaves the door wide open for whatever it is they want to share with you. So here's a quick story. So let's say that I'm a manager and I'm having a conflict with one of my employees, and they keep coming in late. So I want to I might want to do something like this. And Joe is a hypothetical employee. Hey, Joe, help me understand what it is about your life your morning routine, maybe that makes it really difficult for you to get in on time. So that open-ended question gives him a lot of freedom to talk about whatever it is he wants to talk about is not asking him a yes or no question or starting off with the why question even though why questions are open-ended sometimes they can be a little antagonistic. For example, here's an antagonistic open-ended why question. So Joe, why can't you get to work on time? That doesn't work. So soften, asked the open-ended questions. Help me understand is a great lead-in. So I hope that this was helpful. I hope you'll try my tips. If you found this video valuable please consider subscribing. I'm releasing new videos all the time. Thank you so much for watching. Have a wonderful day and be well.
Do Both Parties Need To Agree To A Divorce In Florida?
Do You Have To Agree To A #Divorce In #Florida?
A divorce #myth we'd like to address is whether or not two people have to agree to a divorce in order for it to proceed. The answer is 'not in Florida'.
In Florida, only one spouse needs to want a divorce in order for it to be granted. If the other #spouse does not want the divorce, it doesn't matter.
In some states, there has to be infidelity or other reasons for divorce but in Florida, it just needs to be stated that the #marriage is beyond repair.
There are some instances that a divorce can be put on hold if both people decide that they want to try counseling or other means to work things out between them. If it can't be worked out then the divorce will proceed.
If you find yourself in the midst of a divorce, I'm here to help.
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Divorce: https://www.leapfrogdivorce.com/faqs/divorce/
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Show Transcript
Hi, welcome. Thank you for joining me, I'm attorney A.J. Grossman with Leap Frog Divorce. I'm also a Florida Supreme Court certified family mediator and dispute resolution specialist. This is my second video in my divorce myth series. And this one is about, it takes two people to get a divorce in Florida. This is a myth that some people believe. And I'm going to cut right to the chase. In Florida, it only takes one person to get a divorce. The other person doesn't have to agree. The other person can be pulled along kicking and screaming, so to speak. But really, it only takes one person to file for divorce and to get a divorce. The key concept in Florida is that the marriage is irretrievably broken, which means it can't be saved, nothing can be done to save it. And it only takes one person to make that statement. I've had clients over the years who have not wanted to divorce their spouse for whatever reason, decided that they want a divorce and my clients is but I don't want the divorce. And sometimes what we can do and what I've done for my clients is actually put a divorce that has started on hold. If the husband and wife or wife and wife or husband and husband, whatever the situation may be, would like to try counseling, we can do that we can put a divorce on pause and give the spouses time to try and reconcile and work things out. But at the end of the day, if you can't work out your differences, then the divorce is going to proceed. And again, it only takes one. So there's really no way for you to fight the divorce. You can try you can spend a lot of money and a lot of time to try and fight it. Try and argue that the divorce is not irretrievably broken. But again in Florida, that's all it takes. Unlike some other states that require some kind of infidelity or some kind of fault on the part of one spouse, Florida doesn't have that requirement. It just takes one spouse to decide. I don't want to be married anymore. So I hope that this information has busted the myth that it takes two people to get a divorce in Florida it does not. If you found this video helpful please like and please consider subscribing to my channel. I'm releasing regular videos with helpful free information all the time. Thank you for being here. Thank you for joining me, be well.
How To Have Difficult Conversations With Employees, Part 2
This is part 2 of a series of videos providing tips, techniques, and practical guidance about how to have difficult conversations with employees.
Most people are never taught how to have difficult conversations with other people. For business owners, managers, or anyone else who interacts with employees, it is critical to know some very basic tips and strategies for having these conversations.
Your approach to having a difficult conversation with people can mean the difference between building or maintaining a good relationship and destroying a relationship.
In Part 1 of this video series, I shared the critical strategy of approaching your difficult conversations with a sincere interest in truly listening to what your employee has to say.
In Part 2, this video reveals the best approach for starting a difficult conversation and demonstrates a hypothetical scenario of what this approach might look like.
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Show Transcript
In this video, I'm going to talk about another great tip on how to have difficult conversations with employees. Hi, everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, divorce lawyer, and owner of Leap Frog Divorce. All right, so my next tip, how to have difficult conversations with employees. So last time I talked about conveying that you sincerely care about what it is your employee has to say. The second thing is inviting them to share their perspective before you share yours. So a great way to do this is something like this. And Joe will be the hypothetical employee. Hi, Joe, thanks for meeting with me today, I perceive that we have a little bit of a conflict between us. And I have my perception, and I know that you have your perception and your perspective. And I'd really like to learn more about what your perspective is. So would you be kind enough to share with me what your perspective is on the conflict that we've been having this past week? So what does that do? That immediately communicates to your employee, that they are so important that you want to hear from them first. You want to learn more about how they see this conflict. You want to learn more about what's important to them, long before you ever launch into either defending yourself, giving reasons why justifications for your behavior, or your comments. Always learn about their perspective first. I think if you try this, it will help a lot. And the other key is to invite them. It might be a bad time. So definitely ask them or say I'd like to invite you to share with me more about your perspective on this conflict we're having is now a good time and see what they say. So I hope you've enjoyed this video. I hope that you liked that tip. If you do, please consider subscribing. I'm releasing new videos all the time and if you have any questions at all, please feel free to reach out. Thanks so much for watching. Have a great day and be well.
How To Have Difficult Conversations With Employees, Part 1
Have you ever been faced with having a #difficult #conversation with an #employee but you weren't sure how to proceed? Rest assured you are not alone.
Most of us were never given the tools or #techniques on how to navigate having difficult conversations with employees and feel a little lost when it needs to happen. Luckily there are many ways to show your employees that although it's not a fun conversation, that you are #actively #listening to them and their concerns, and that you are there for them.
Tip number 1 is to make sure that you listen to your employee with #sincere curiosity. This means that you need to give them your undivided attention. For example, if you're talking with your employee and you're constantly looking at your cell phone for text messages, the latest news, or your favorite team's score, your employee may feel that the phone is more important than what they have to say.
When it comes time for one of these types of conversations it is best to either turn off your phone, put it away in a desk with the sound off, or if you're too tempted, put it in your car for the duration of the conversation.
If you need help navigating difficult conversations with your employees, give me a call. I'm happy to offer some guidance.
Coaching: https://www.leapfrogdivorce.com/family-law/coaching/
Why I Became A Divorce Lawyer
This video provides an explanation of why I help people with divorce which is one of the most stressful life events one will ever experience. There is a very specific reason I work with people to help them transform their families through divorce. It has to do with the tragic loss of my mother, protecting children, and leaving a legacy.
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Show Transcript
You know, some people asked me, Why do you do what you do? How could you? How could you divorce families? That seems so difficult? So challenging. Isn't there something you'd rather do? That's different. Welcome, everybody. I'm A.J. Grossman, Divorce Lawyer, certified family mediator, and dispute resolution specialist with Leap Frog Divorce. I'll tell you why I do what I do. And it goes back many, many years, I had lost my mom in a car accident, and she was a divorce lawyer out in Northern California. And I remember being at the funeral, and one of her colleagues another divorce lawyer had come up to me and said, A.J., I don't know if you realize this about your mom. But one of the last things she did before she died, was she helped walk me through a strategy to help a child who was being abused by his father, get free from his father, they were in the middle of a divorce, it was an ugly divorce. And I remember hearing that, and I thought, wow, that's the kind of impact I want to have. That's the kind of legacy I want to leave. I want to help people through really, really difficult problems, some of the most stressful problems they will likely ever experience during a lifetime. So that's why I became a lawyer. And that's why I practice divorce law, to help people through those difficult problems, to help them minimize harm to their children so that their children have the best chance, to thrive after a divorce. And so, I tell people, I've never been motivated by the money. I've always been motivated by a deep fulfillment, a deep satisfaction that I get from helping people through really difficult problems. There's something that fills me up inside, it fills up my soul, to help people with the knowledge and the skill that I have. And you know, I figure, if I do good things in the world, if I help people solve problems, then the money will be there. So money's never been the driving force. For me. It's always about helping people. And it's about leaving that legacy that I want to leave. A.J. Grossman, Divorce Lawyer, certified mediator, and dispute resolution specialist with Leap Frog Divorce. I hope you've enjoyed this video. If you want to learn more, please subscribe. Have a wonderful day.