The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind
By Ali Khamseh
The Last Thoughts of a Busy MindFeb 03, 2022
Special Chapter #9: When I Go, I'm Going Like Ghazaleh
In this episode, I sit down in person for the fourth time and talk to one of my friends that I've known for a full year, Ghazaleh. We met each other online and started following each other on Instagram, before meeting in person and getting to know each other better and better over the past year. We bonded over our shared love of crafting, so-bad-they-are-great movies, and correcting each other's English pronunciations. So we decided to sit down and talk about our jobs, our creative journeys, our as-of-yet uncertain futures and the many mistakes we have made in the past and what we are going to do about them.
Check out Ghazaleh's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gh.psystu/
Chapter 149: Will There Be a Season 11? https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/balDiEWXgJb
TGTBTI - Az Faryad Ta Terror: https://youtu.be/RdzHmrmcV60?si=vEB2tKh_wFkuFJvg
Chapter 150: Once in a Lifetime
One's life is made up of experiences, and to experience the world is to experience every aspect of it through first-hand and second-hand accounts. But how does one go on experiencing? What is the value of first-hand experiences? and what is the value of second-hand experiences? How does one define an experience, as one that happens once in a lifetime?
Check out my appearance on "1000 Crazy Questions": https://www.1000crazyquestions.com/e/you-aint-seen-nothing-yet/
Chapter 149: Will There Be a Season 11?
In 2020, "The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind" was born out of one's desire to make conversation, even with oneself. That show has been going on, through highs and lows, for (almost) ten seasons. With ten being a nice round number, and things changing behind the scenes, one has to ask whether or not it's feasible or required to go past that nice round number. One has to ask, is there a need for an eleventh season?
Check out my appearance on "Geeky Gamer Podcast": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq31FJbUyxI
Chapter 148: Uncomfortably Numb
When one wakes up, and eats, and rests, and sleeps, and then repeats these steps in the exact order, one can equate the sum of these activities to the feeling of numbness. Numbness that may have a clear reason or just comes from an array of different emotions coming together. The end result of that numbness is inactivity, and that leaves to uncomfortableness, and that leads to more numbness. Yet another vicious cycle.
Chapter 147: New Year, Old Me
Retrospection is tricky, because it will instill a lot of bad thoughts of missed opportunities. It's important to realize that when a new year comes from around the corner, to look at things more objectively. Was it a loss? or was it a change? Loss is understandable, but one needs to remember the gains and the wins. Depression tries to obscure them, and it's important to fight that.
Chapter 146: Regrets & Reforms
As the Persian year comes to an end and a new opportunity rises for retrospection and introspection, one has to come to grips with the events that shaped that one year. While it is good to keep living life without allowing for past mistakes and past guilt to cripple one's ability to live, it's also good to acknowledge regrets and put efforts to reform the actions that caused them. So, with the new year serving as the de facto "start", it's time to view the regrets and the proposed reforms.
Chapter 145: This Should've Come Out Last Week
In the tenure of this show, only one episode has been skipped so far and that was due to covid. Now, a second episode joins it and this is due to something far more destructive, a movie production going overtime and inevitably, overbudget. So, what does one have to do other than put everything on hold until this behemoth is put to rest?
Chapter 144: Pre-Production
There are many stages when making a creative project, there's the initial excitement over new and interesting ideas, then there's the first doses of anxiety over the practicality of the project, and then comes the grueling process of pre-production. Where every cog needs to fit together, and those little doses of anxiety become a constant, and doubt begins to creep in. Such a magical time is the times of pre-production!
Chapter 143: Into Each Life
When one has feelings that amount to self-deprecation and self-hatred, one has to content with the feelings if one is trying to function. But sometimes, even knowingly, that lets more negative thoughts enter one's mind. Then one will foresee collapse of giant magnitude, and one knows that into each life some rain must fall.
Chapter 142: A Genuine Critique of This Very Show
Introspects can be enlightening and necessary every now and again. When one does something over and over again, one might become complacent and used to the motions, without ever noticing the tiny unsatisfactories that grate at one's desire for the activity. So, when looked through a critical eye, what can one notice about one's endeavor, and what should one notice about those endeavors?
Chapter 141: Time Is Finite, and I Treat It as Infinite
Time is a limited resource. It is so limited and has such abundant a use that it will be used up even if one actively does not do anything with it. Because of that, it is the source of many quotes and many more anxieties by people who know of its finiteness. Yet, one sometimes deludes oneself into treating this valuable and hard to manage resource as if it is a mine in a RTS video game: easily refilled, even if you need to cheat to refill it.
Chapter 140: Fury of Dracula
Games are some of the most entertaining aspects of life. No matter how many times you got kicked in the nether regions and how many times you look at life with the sense of dread that it truly deserves, games can still bring you back stronger than ever before. Whether they are video games, choose-your-own adventure games, tabletop games or board games, games can really bring out a sense of joy unparalleled by most other things.
Special Chapter #7 - Something for Everyone, Mohammad Tonight!: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-7-Something-for-Everyone--Mohammad-Tonight-e2755e2/a-a56gapt
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
Chapter 139: I'm Scared of the Future
What will happen the day after today has always been a subject of great inspiration and desire, and also great anxiety and fear. That effect will be amplified the more uncertain elements are added. When one looks at tomorrow and sees nothing but darkness, it can have rippling effects on today. From bad shopping habits, to a sense of doom and gloom that will engulf everything one holds dear.
Chapter 138: 2024, Part II
A new year has dawned upon us and with it has come the time to take a rather poignant look at everything that the year has brought. Checking all the moments of joy and disappointment, and then looking forward to see what the new year might bring. It's fools' errand to plan out a year in advance, but what are we if not fools?
Chapter 137 - 2024, Part I: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-137-2024--Part-I-e2e1gpc
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
I'm (Still) Alive | #Shorts: https://youtube.com/shorts/h6_6NLsxnd4?feature=share
Chapter 137: 2024, Part I
A new year has dawned upon us and with it has come the time to take a rather poignant look at everything that the year has brought. Checking all the moments of joy and disappointment, and then looking forward to see what the new year might bring. It's fools' errand to plan out a year in advance, but what are we if not fools?
Chapter 136: Mafia May in November
Mafia movies are a fun genre in cinema, and they encompass some of the best and the worst that Cinema History has to offer. So, when one decides to put a not-insignificant amount of time to exploring them through a self-inflicted challenge, the results could be an incredibly varied look through movies of all qualities. How good would it be then, if one decides to share that journey through what is called "Mafia May in November"?
Download the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VqN85sGViZ4KU4pjw1HqbiEdWIhdEM30/view?usp=sharing
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
Chapter 59 - Western August in November: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-59-Western-August-in-November-e1b5rg4/a-a2m9fmf
Chapter 17: Musical March in November: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-17-Musical-March-in-November-enba94/a-a2m9fmf
Special Chapter #8: Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You
In this episode I sit down and talk to one of my friends from my new uni and the director of the current project I'm working on, Mobina. We met each other in online classes in the early days of uni, and then finally got to see each other face-to-face earlier this year; and despite having not-the-best-first-impressions of each other, managed to hit it off pretty quick and become friends through Wes Anderson movies, juvenile jokes, and board games. So we decided to sit down and discuss our experience in uni and in Iranian educational system regarding art in general, our love of movies, the troubles with making a movie, and of course our board game adventures. Check out Frame Art Studio's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frame_artstudio/
Chapter 135: Jama'at e Kosk- Professionalism!
Being "professional" is a sought-after label. It gives off the vibes of prestige and quality, no matter the reality. That label, can also give tools to opportunists and con-men to exploit their co-workers, underlings or people with less experience. It is a powerful tool as well, because in all honesty, being "professional" is meaningless. It can mean anything and everything, mostly to the detriment of those who try to be honest with themselves and those around them.
Chapter 134: F.O.M.O = Feeling of Missing Out
When one has felt an emotion towards an activity that one has neglected for so so long, it awakens certain thoughts and feelings in one's brain. When one looks at all that one wants to do, and realizes that there's more to see that can ever be seen, or more to do that can ever be done, those thoughts and emotions evolve into something a little more grotesque. They become fear, and fear is an unending chasm of thoughts.
Chapter 133: There Is a Voice Inside of You.
Sometimes, during times of duress and stress, one has to wrestle with thoughts that would try their best to diminish one's agency. The belittling self-disappointment and the monstrous weight of self-deprecation. When one is faced with such uneasy feelings that keep nagging away at one's soul, it's hard to look around and see the true accomplishments; or worse, it's hard to look around and see the actual problems of one's surrounding.
Chapter 132: Our Flag Means Death
When one peruses the seemingly infinite shows that appear on a weekly basis on an ever-growing list of different networks, sometimes there are shows that one finds in solitude that seems to speak with one. They're quirky, and cooky, and maybe a little spooky; but they are special to one. So, what happens when that show is deemed "not worthy" by its parent network? Well, that is the fate that befell Our Flag Means Death, a show of romance and comedy about pirates and piracy.
The Best Strategy Game You Never Played: Age of Mythology: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27-tJxIepmo The Gentleman Pirate | Sundance Rejects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrGf4nJWVOU
Chapter 131: Sickness and Health III, Sicknesser and Healther
The human body can suffer physical ailment for extended periods of time, to the point of humorous absurdity. These ailments can bring about physical weakness, irritable behavior, mental anguish and above all else a lack of peace, both of mind and of soul. Sometimes one finds itself in the throats of sickness, that has been going on for an absurdly long time and has caused so, so, so, SO many damages to one's plans, life, and physical rest. Also, RIP Dariush Mehrjui.
Chapter 130: I Wanna Be a Producer
When one has a deluge of ideas and unrealized projects, it can hurt one's mental state massively. It can make sure one has to think of the many failures that one has experienced on a daily, if not hourly, basis. But when one is involved in an idea, it can sometimes bring about a spark, even a little one, to the glowing embers of passion and desire for more projects to be involved in. It can even bring about Leo Bloom style musical interludes.
They Were Just in the Way | Indian Removal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5P6vJs1jmY Contrepreneurs: The Mikkelsen Twins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biYciU1uiUw
Chapter 129: Say, Don't You Remember? They Called Me Al.
Chapter 128: Behindness
Sometimes one's life falls behind of a perceived track constructed days, weeks, months and even years in advance. Sometimes the journey of life seems to not match up with expectations that one has for oneself. When those times rear their heads, the balance of one's life can be thrown out. When one falls behind on one's plans, desires, goals, and highly regarded future, one can experience life as cruel and uncaring, even if all one needs, is some self-compassion.
Chapter 127: Tiny Worlds
When one starts their journey of creativity, oftentimes the joy of creation even without a tangible result can be rewarding in its own rights. Creation of minute details of little to no importance, or creation of the most elaborate systems to do the most mundane of things, is just part of the experience of making tiny worlds for imaginary people to inhabit, and is part of any artist's course. That part is more prominent when one is in its teen era, and it can prove fun to return to those tiny worlds and explore them after some years.
Chapter 126: The Mess That's Inside
One is surrounded by boundaries; societal boundaries, geographical boundaries, physical boundaries, emotional boundaries and mental boundaries. What happens in those boundaries shape one's life and experiences as a human being, and there are times when one's life inside those boundaries will find trouble adjusting to itself. There are times when the mess inside those boundaries becomes impossible to manage.
Chapter 125: Few Fantastical Fantasies Find Fortune
One of the ways one can find solace in the mundane and normal is by creating a fantastical goal, a fantasy of achieving something so out of ordinary that the act itself would become absurd to think about. But they won't become too big that achieving them would be completely impossible. They live in that sweet spot between too much effort and not enough results, which makes them nothing more than mere fantasies.
IDOLS of TORMENT - A Dark Skirmish Game from Black Magic Craft - Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cRAd7DvIDw
Chapter 124: When It Rains...
There are times in anyone's life when it seems that everything that could go wrong, will go wrong. No matter the amount of effort, mental resilience and physical prowess; when things start to go awry, they will take everything down with them. When one gets inside such a storm of fecal matter, the toll can be massive. It's important to acknowledge one's shortcomings and failures, but to be wary that ss the old adage says: when it rains, it pours.
Chapter 123: Pills, Stress and Videotapes
Sometimes in one's life, there are many facets coming together to create an atmosphere ripe for a breakdown. A sickness prolonged, and in need of medication; an array of projects being produced and put aside that take time and effort to the point of exhaustion; and videotapes of digital variety in producing movies and online videos. When all those facets come together, one has to see how they have shaped and ruined one's life.
Chapter 122: Guilt Over Nothing
Guilt is such a strong feeling that it can hamper everyday life incredibly easily. It can make good experiences come off as shameful and bad, and it can make one feel inadequate in a variety of different tasks. When one descends to the pits of guilt, one can find himself stranded. In reach of what one needs to do, and what one does. Guilt is such a strong feeling, and it can also appear from nothing at all.
Chapter 121: Sickness and Health II, This Time It's Personal
Sometimes one ends a season with a sickness, and starts one with yet another one. One of peculiar origin that is not likely to be found in this time of year. When that happens, one has to sometimes persevere and still go forward with a plan. A plan that has been some time into making, and one has been looking forward to it. This is one of those times.
Alpha Protocol Review | AKhamseh88: https://www.backloggd.com/u/AKhamseh88/review/959036/
Special Chapter #7: Something for Everyone, Mohammad Tonight!
In this episode I sit down and talk to the guy who I've had the privilege of working with numerous times, Mohammad. We met each other while we were both contributing to a now defunct gaming website, and despite our differences in taste, were drawn together through a shared love of entertainment. So we decided to talk about our unpopular opinions on entertainment properties, our gaming/movie making experiences, Mohammad's dislike of GTA V, and way way more wrestling lore and opinions than you might think.
Check out Wait, I've Seen it Before!: https://open.spotify.com/show/52LtWqhgQCEQQrqPwL9fyP
Chapter 120: Sickness and Health
When one is sick, the events of that sickness is burnt into one's memory vividly. What happens at what time, and what lead to what event, and so on and so forth. It also brings forward the mood to plan for a future where health is plenty. Planning for the future is always a gamble, a big one, but when one is sick, everything is put into perspective. When one is sick, health seems like a good opportunity to do the things one never did before out of apathy.
Chapter 119: Nature Boy
One's relation to nature can be incredibly personal, and incredibly consequential; especially when one is travelling. The contrast between cushy life in the developed city and the arduous but rewarding life in nature is one that has compelled any human being to find a personal opinion on the matter. The beautiful vistas of nature, but with no accommodations? or the unbreathable air of traffic, but with every service just a phone call away?
Chapter 118: We Made a Movie (at Great Cost)
Movies are great entertainment products, but movie making is oftentimes not very entertaining. The end results are heartwarming and great, but the process can sometimes be miserable and destructive. Movies are also expensive entertainment products. They cost a lot of money, and need a lot of humans to make them work, and that's what makes them so big and so daunting, but also when done incorrectly, a massive pain.
Chapter 117: Without Me...!!!???
Needlessly busy is something that one can describe one's life with occasionally. When life seems a mess with a torrent of unfinished tasks and upcoming tasks weighing heavy on one's soul, one can feel the fire that will lead to an eventual burn out. When one's life is needlessly busy, even good moments will be pushed aside to showcase the tiredness.
Chapter 116: Volcano
When one bottles emotions and keep going with a daily routine, sometimes those emotions will need a vent, and when that vent is provided it will erupt like a volcano. It's not always a bad thing, as an erupting volcano can also empty out a lot of negativity. So, when one is helping form a volcano, one can look back at a lot of conflicting and deep emotions, and let them run loose. Maybe even try to plan ahead now that the avalanche of feelings is over with.
Chapter 115: Physicality
Though one can try, one cannot separate mind from body. When body is in pain, mind wanders and mind tries to look at body to see what has caused it pain. When that pain is from physical activity, one goes into retrospective of one's life choices and lifestyle. Physique is a two-fold question, one from beauty and one from health. When there's pain involved, health becomes more apparent, and it does push one to look at one's own physique with a more critical eye.
Chapter 114: Frankly, My Dear...
Emotions are hard to telegraph, and they are even harder to express when put in front of people one might have an inkling of those emotions for. Like many choices in one's life, the choice is down to a mix of risk assessment and courage. When one might lose a friend, one might gain something more; but is that risk worth taking? Questions like that make expressions what they are: small acts with big consequences.
Chapter 113: We're Kaput
There's an old adage of "everyone is truly alone", where it deposits that even when one is surrounded by other presences, one can still be alone. The adage might appear as cynical or pessimistic, but cynicism and pessimism can infect the most hopeful and optimistic of minds too. When one sits in the corner of a room looking at people one loves, and feels disconnected from them, one feels truly alone.
Chapter 112: Are You There Video? It's Me, Ali.
The act of videomaking is something between writing an essay, conducting a research, and creating art. It might not rank high on the "high art" chart when compared to other forms of visual media, but it still does factor in creation. It still has framing, pacing, rhythm, substance, form and style. So what happens when one who has been away from that act of creation for a number of months, decides to return to it? How will one cope?
TGTBTI - We Didn't Start the Fire, Part 1: https://youtu.be/qmNh8Ygn29s
Chapter 111: More Valuable Than a Diamond
Physical pain oftentimes punctuates many things, from mental anguish to existential crises. Excruciating physical pain can even make day-to-day operations invalid and impossible, and when it comes to excruciating physical pain there's seldom a more troubling suspect than tooth. A good toothache can knock even the strongest and most virile down, let alone when one has the lowest threshold for pain imaginable.
Chapter 110: Tell Me Where You Are?
There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where one feels isolated and abandoned. There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where the thoughts and actions of everything done and everything that will be done would break upon one's psyche like a crumbling foundation of a tower. There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where one forgets who they are.
Chapter 109: The Best Laid Plans
Planning is an important part of preparing for the future of one's life. One plans for how to live, how to love, how to grow, and how to survive. But plans are not guaranteed to work nor guaranteed to work out the way they were planned. One might slip in adhering to the steps previously thought, and one might not get the result that was expected. But that is under normal circumstances. When one lives in a corner of the world plagued with abnormality, how shall one plan?
Chapter 108: Taskmaster
How does one develop an obsession with a media property? It might seem like a long process but all one needs is a combination of right time and right state of mind. One such obsession can be found in a game show that graced the UK television in 2014 and has been going strong since then. One such obsession can be the wonderous and exciting world which houses Greg Davies and little Alex Horne: TASKMASTER.
Alasdair Beckett-King: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq5btGtqdn4CpvU0xTXaelA
Chapter 107: Nostalgic Attack!
Nostalgia can be a powerful tool and drug; it's a drug that can draw your very own lifeforce and stick it in the past, and it's a tool that can mend a broken soul and make it better for a little while. But sometimes nostalgia is so strong in others that it influences one's perspective of an event or a location. When one is confronted with an attack of nostalgia, one needs to fight, while embracing.
P.S. This episode is about an hour or so late :D. I do explain the reason in the episode itself, but it is bugging me massively.
Chapter 106: It's a Brand New Day
The new Persian year has dawned, and with it has come a brand new day. Though the revolving of earth around the sun for another 365 days may not seem like a significant event as situations surrounding one's life are not susceptible to change in any form or factor; it still is a good end point to at least take some time and search one's past for a retrospective.
Special Chapter #6 - God Leans a Little on the Side of Vandah: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-6-God-Leans-a-Little-on-the-Side-of-Vandah-e1vuqal
Special Chapter #6: God Leans a Little on the Side of Vandah
In this episode, I sit down (with one week of delay) and talk with a friend who I got to meet thanks to the magic of internet, Vandah. We met each other on Twitter, before Elon Musk got his grubby little hands on it, and started talking about music and movies, normal nerd stuff. We hit it off with discussions on certain musical artists, old movies, complaining about the state of affairs and talking about fiction. So we decided to discuss Vandah's major in the university, the current state of cinema and streaming services, a different cornucopia of musical performances and artists from different ages, and the difficulties of actually doing the recording that we're doing.
Check out Vandah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vandahts/
Check out Vandah's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShrinkingFigure
Chapter 105: And the World, Will Be Better for This
In the past few months since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police in Iran, it's imperative to take inventory of what has happened and what barriers have been destroyed. The visage of Islamic Republic as this unbeatable monster has been shattered to pieces, and what remains is a more accurate visage of it as a wheezing walking dead. Hope reigns once again in the land, and hope needs to stay aflame.