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The Doric Express

The Doric Express

By Allan Smith

OK here's how this works loons and quines.
I currently BUY a Press and Journal every day. So you don't have to. You're already ahead by £1.90 a day! I read out some of the stories in it, in my own dialect, which is doric, the language of the NE of Scotland. The stories could be about anything that catches my eye. Local stories from Aberdeen or Aberdeenshire. Except Maud and Lumphanan as nothing ever happens in those places. Stories from the UK. London, Norwich, Alnwick or other villages like that. Stories from around the world, Australia, Canada, United States etc. Listen. Enjoy. Subscribe!
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Currently playing episode

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 3rd of May 2024

The Doric ExpressMay 03, 2024

00:00
15:08
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 3rd of May 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 3rd of May 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in today's exciting episode;
A96 no getting dualled so na na nee na na say Greens;
Aberdeen or Hollywood?
Rent Union St shop website - clever;
Jazz in Braemar - snow joke!;
Sydney to New Pitsligo?
McGrath makes us tick says Leven;
ANOTHER toasty day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
May 03, 202415:08
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 2nd of May 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 2nd of May 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in today's episode;
Qatar leniency;
Coffee in the old NatWest;
Trees chopped doon by mistake!;
Tarragon 2 opening soon;
Sunset in HMT;
Polvara says play me;
A sunny sunny day in the shire today!
Cheers, Allan
May 02, 202412:08
Poem by Jimmy Wright

Poem by Jimmy Wright

No P&J today so instead I'm bringing you a poem by Jimmy Wright from his Couthy Ramblings book. Jist a Learner Driver.
May 01, 202404:41
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 30th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 30th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's pulsating episode;
Swinney or Ford? New SNP gaffer needed;
Red Arrows at Portsoy? It's true!;
Ski centre skint;
Union Street to see the light;
Boat steerer left post-result nae good;
Dons to go with back 4. No more goals against?
Fine day in the shire
Apr 30, 202414:15
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 29th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 29th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's mesmerising episode;
Adders subtract from joy of new hoose;
Little lambs help deliver - little lambs;
Kevin is definitely Amused;
World champion egg eaters;
Mum aiming for top spot;
Hoilett says "let me bide"
Fine then mochy in the shire the day;
Cheers, back the morn - god willing.
Apr 29, 202419:50
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 26th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 26th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's episode;
Humza = Billy no mates;
Dyce Marriot going for gold;
Dinna miss @Mounthoolinrouge :
Tributes to Kevin - aka Miss Cherry Bakewell;
Parading aboot in Blue Toon/Alford/Laurencekirk;
Buckie swicked;
Fine morning, rainy afternoon in the shire;
Cheers, Allan
Apr 26, 202415:11
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 25th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 25th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's exhilarating episode;
Wifie swicks pal. Now ex pal;
Retired teacher has brainwave;
Mair hooses please!;
Insch Castle remodeled;
Dons fan scared Rangers fans!
Contract waiting game for Roos;
Bright but nippy day in the shire
Cheers, Allan.
Apr 25, 202416:33
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 24th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 24th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's rip snorting, rootin tootin episode;
Health staff want parking spaces;
Oh yes it is! Panto stars named;
Nursery trainers are tip top;
Gulls to be gulled maybe;
Path to centre of universe opened;
Dons players can impress new boss, what about old boss?
Nae bad day in Aberdeenshire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 24, 202415:26
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 23rd of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 23rd of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in tonight's enchanting episode;
Greens oot - new road in - mibbe;
10th anniversary party surprise;
Too speedy for Alness;
Aul, expensive hoose for sale;
Powered by wind - 1.3m hooses;
Play like that ivvry wik says gaffer;
Anither mochy day in Aberdeenshire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 23, 202415:19
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's episode;
Wind farm worth big bucks;
Tractors in Echt shock;
Aulder craturs like throwing shapes;
Dinna Park there! Ats for horsies!
Protesters get a bit o a row fae bobbies;
We tried oor best say Dons;
Anither mochy day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 22, 202414:42
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 19th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 19th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's rip roaring episode,
NE fishermen in the (Japanese) money;
Students breath new life intill toons;
Primary school choir's ticket fiasco;
Foggie to get spruced up kirk - as a prize!
Go Go Go, we have lift off in sutherland;
(Murrrell charged) (yay)
Dons to thrash Celtic in SF.....maybe!
Mixed day in the shire
Have a great weekend - Allan
Apr 19, 202414:30
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 18th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 18th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express;
Mair banks quit City Centre;
Nae Mair eating on the green;
Green Braemar....;
Temple of Doom Knockit Doon;
Sunak's advice to SNP.....;
Dons in safe hands;
Cheers, Allan
Apr 18, 202415:13
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 17th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 17th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's thrilling episode;
Big upgrade for Union Street at last;
Dentist gets his rinnin sheen on!;
Smoked fish at Torry? ;
Schools league table, clever at Cults, So so at Abyne, Bittie gappit aboot Inverurie;
Macduff Aquarium to be bees knees;
Thelin tells fans - I'm yer man.
Winny day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 17, 202415:24
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 16th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 16th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
Big hoose gets OK;
Doodles ging doolally at Frasers;
Tenting oot for free sandwiches!
Fae Torry till Braemar - power of music;
Rower has short hop round coast;
New boss will be watching says Leven
Miserable day in Kintore again!
Apr 16, 202412:34
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 15th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 15th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in the day's episode;
GB Energy in Aberdeen - mibbe?
Jobs far the King and Queen bide;
Nae mair Cabrach windmills please;
Rescued aside a "famous monument"
Orkney Islands mysterious meteor;
Let's go for it, says Dons Defender!
Mochy day in the shire today
Cheers, Allan
Apr 15, 202415:16
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 12th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 12th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
Westhill under attack!
Robber pinched energy;
Nasa on lookoot for Nessie!
Doggie dancing at the Blue Lump;
Step forward all Mearns folk!
Barron would suit Serie A.....Apparently
Toasty in the Shire today
Knotted hunkies at the reason
Apr 12, 202412:54
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 11th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 11th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to today's Doric Express, a few snippets from today's paper, the Press and Journal.
Apr 11, 202414:35
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 10th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 10th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's exciting episode;
Affa coorse nurse jiled;
Run at airport for chariry;
LEZ? No thanks!
Howdens on their way to Deeside;
Brainy duo are NE winners;
I'll get Duk yokit says Leven
Rain rain and mair rain in shire the day,
Cheers, Allan
Apr 10, 202413:50
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 9th of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 9th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In the days exciting episode;
Ex pal must pay says court;
Train journey excitement;
Cruise ship visitors like oor toon;
Bervie chipper - yours for 150k;
Paris Syndrome - they're nae a cult;
Let me at 'em says Dons defender;
Very mochy day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 09, 202414:12
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 8th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 8th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in today's stupendous edition;
Damon the Dog bites Bobby;
Bakers converge for ARI;
Pennan Inn to reopen;
Caribbean in the Broch. Really;
Inverness chef lifts lid;
Dons players say get boss situation sorted afore lang;
Tip top day in the Shire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 08, 202418:39
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 5th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 5th of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's gobsmacking episode;
Cancer treatment lang wait;
Pipes to waken up cruisers;
Euros fan park for Aberdeen;
Cilla's car at Alford for a lorra looks;
Too late for Balmoral fly cup tickets;
Trust the board says Leven
Another mochy day in the shire,
Cheers, Allan
Apr 05, 202413:18
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 4th of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 4th of April 2024

Thanks for lugging in till the Doric Express. In the days rip snorting episode;
Photography firm on shoogly peg;
Take yer life in yer hands in Kemnay, and pay 150 quid a week for the privilege;
Buchan loon gets BEM AND and pride of Buchan award on same day;
McCoist out of old firm game;
Fundraisers Triumph in recognition of old pal;
Warnock - I could've been a contender!,
Anither mochy day in the shire;
Cheers,
Allan
Apr 04, 202415:53
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 3rd of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 3rd of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In the days affa exciting episode;
Politicians waste taxpayers money shock;
Mair new hooses at Brig O Don;
King's new neighbour wants a great big hoose;
Dinna miss yer bowel tests plea;
Be careful if you're driving in Tiree;
Forget aboot new boss says Shinnie
Affa rainy day in the shire, even Torphins
Cheers, Allan
Apr 03, 202415:21
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 2nd of April 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 2nd of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In the days exhilarating episode;
Staff can park in carpark! If they must, say hospital bosses;
Nae gulls in Elgin please!
Very very aul hoose for sale;
Fit a rubbish roon oor coast!;
Nae place at New Deer for little dears;
Hoof up backside worked wonders for Dons says boss
Very very mochy in the shire today
Cheers, Allan
Apr 02, 202418:56
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 1st of April 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 1st of April 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In the days blockbusting episode;
Fundraiser in memory of mum and son;
Aberdeen Port dishes oot heaps for charities;
Shinty captain saves ref;
Forklift 5mph Bobby chase;
Cigar, Ale, Scotch, Coffee new cafe;
Win by ony means says Dons player, hear hear says me!
Mochy day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Apr 01, 202416:17
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 29th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 29th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In today's top quality episode; ASN kids airbrushed out of pics; 65 years and going strong - R&V; Wild flooers across city DIY lollipop mannies & wifies No need to sleep apart from hoss; Dons still closing in on next manager! Tip top day in the shire todayv Keep your bonnet on
Mar 29, 202414:43
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 28th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 28th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in today's big news
I'm going to be a grandpapa again!
Posh school Xmas party shenanigans;
New wine bar in auld Oddbins;
Red tape helps blinn, stoot fishers;
Geeks all at sea to keep shop going;
Driver gets praised for helping out at Crathes crash sight
Dons dithering again
Mochy dark day again here
Mar 28, 202414:30
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 27th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 27th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's mesmerising episode;
New Wood jobs for Aberdeen;
Fierce target met for Dyce brewers;
Posh Jewellers story one;
Smith to go Bang Bang when show comes to HMT
Posh Jewellers story 2
We'll be ready, dinna worry says Clarke
Very mochy day in the shire today
Cheers, Allan

Mar 27, 202415:01
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 26th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 26th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - in today's lively episode;
Bother at Boddam;
HMT shows look tip top;
Go go go.......slow! Corgi race?;
Pupils show the way forward for Union St?
Student show - ready for some Mounthoolin Rouge?
Miovski says ta;
Mochy day but nae sna in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Mar 26, 202413:12
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 25th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 25th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in the day's thrilling episode;
Dad diddled oot o 10k;
Comic Con hits Aberdeen;
Nae Gaelic here?;
Blue toon gets 20M to spruce up;
Minis ging skiing;
We'd better buck up says Scots player;
A mochy day in the shire
Cheers, Allan
Mar 25, 202415:21
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's high quality episode;
Medals pinched in Rio - surprise surprise;
Kids in gruelling Cross Country run;
Aul fashioned pub looking for new landlord;
Elgin lass wins 1M quid - some eese;
3 Billion boat scoots past Peterhead and Broch on wye till garage;
Dons almost ready to name new boss, nae afore time!
Windy day in Aberdeenshire the day
Have a rare wikend back on Monday god willing
Cheers, Allan
Mar 22, 202414:19
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 21st of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 21st of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's thrilling episode;
Minor injury units to shut overnight;
Peterhead tea room could be yours for 110k;
Anderson to lead Dons aul codgers team;
Dr flummoxed by roundabout after a few shandies;
Judge has common sense shock;
A boy naebody's heard of turns Dons job down!#%?
Weather update on this morning in Kintore
Cheers, Allan
Mar 21, 202415:27
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 20th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 20th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - news fae hame!
In the days action packed episode;
Union St Office gets 5m spruce up.
Ballater fish restaurant gets funcy award.
Moray Pipe Band to play in Hong Kong (and that's nae Phooey)
City Ebike scheme conks oot
Peterhead to get mair fast food drive thrus - bigger trousers needed soon?
Dons boss kens some big names!
Kintore weather update!
Cheers, Allan
Mar 20, 202415:13
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 19th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 19th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express.
In today's episode;
Death driver jiled.
Daviot fook object to new crem!
NE chippers are bees knees.
A whale o a time aside Burghead
Feel gypes in Aiberdeen
Miovski needs better support. (This means you, ither Dons players!)
Cheers.
Mar 19, 202413:11
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 18th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 18th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - in today's comeback special - equivalent to Elvis' '68 Comeback TV special - probably, we have the following news items; Mum slams NHS after pleas ignored, Goat curry takeaway to close after smell complaints, Joyriders to get sprayed with DNA, Cullen Skink world champions announced Rolex shop to open as part of Jamieson & Carry upgrade, Dons are good really, says Dons midfielder! Man United thrash Liverpool, Affa heat in Aberdeenshire Cheers
Mar 18, 202415:47
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 7th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 7th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, we'll be back (hopefully) on Monday 18th March.
Unless, as I say, either the plane crashes gan oot or coming back or 2 - I win the lottery fan we're awa!
Cheers, Allan
Mar 07, 202413:33
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 6th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 6th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in the day's thrilling news; drug dealer mum guilty, kids write doric book, flute band banned/flats rejected at broadhill/tall ships heading back to town (onybody wint till buy a tall ships picture?)Warnock nae sleeping great/cheerio
Mar 06, 202413:24
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 5th of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 5th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - lots o local stories that ye mibby dinna ken!
Cheers, Allan
Mar 05, 202414:41
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 4th of March 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 4th of March 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. You can hear all the latest news from the NE right in your lugs every week day! Cheers
Mar 04, 202413:39
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 1st of March 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 1st of March 2024

Thanks for listening to this Ellon edition of the Doric Express!
Hae a great weekend and try till get sobered up for the next edition on Monday 4th. Cheers
Mar 01, 202414:05
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 29TH OF FEBRUARY 2024!

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 29TH OF FEBRUARY 2024!

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - tell a pal aboot it if ye like! Ta
Feb 29, 202414:48
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 28th of February 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 28th of February 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express - news fae the North East for aa the bonny loons and quines o the North East. Cheers
Feb 28, 202414:23
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 27th of February 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 27th of February 2024

In today's top notch Doric Express;
Tragic tot died with drugs in his system, mum in court/Airport is 90 - granite anniversary!/Nurse couldn't taste booze because of Covid/Bail broken to see rapper/Winner of granite noir short story announced/Murray on last few months of career....
Feb 27, 202416:26
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 26th of February 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 26th of February 2024

In today's thrilling episode of the Doric Express;
Politicians arguing/Redgarth up for sale/Blue Toon fanatic/Skye Special ca's it a day/Haigs to open new shop/Dons doon in the dumps again....cheers for listening!
Feb 26, 202417:26
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 23rd of February 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 23rd of February 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, tell all the North Easters you know! Cheers
Feb 23, 202411:24
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of February 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 22nd of February 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, tell some pals if ye like aboot foo great it is! Follow on Spotify and be cool!
Feb 22, 202412:56
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 21st of February 2024

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 21st of February 2024

Thanks for listening to another illuminating episode of the Doric Express
Feb 21, 202415:54
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 20th of February 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 20th of February 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, in the days podcast;
Tributes to those killed in South Deeside Road smash/Cabrach trophy returned/Carer pinched from vulnerable wifie/Shell HQ to be flattened/Poverty in Aberdeen/Dons to send flop to Norway for match sharpness......cheers aa you bonny loons and quines
Feb 20, 202414:25
A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 19/2/24

A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 19/2/24

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express. In the days affa exciting episode - drivers killed on South Deeside road/Auld bobbies Station up for sale/Aristocrat wins battle v cooncil/Huntly wints aul lichts/Pylon protest/Dons slip up again.....
Feb 19, 202413:16
A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 16th of February 2024

A wee suppy stories from today's P&J on the 16th of February 2024

Thanks for listening to the Doric Express, God willing we'll all be back on Monday for the next episode.
In today's podcast; Mair Cooncil Cuts/AI to replace some council staff/Aberdeen gift card is top o the league/University marks all things Chinese with special celebration/Mountain bike champion heading to Banchory/ Dons to move for Canadian winger.....cheers
Feb 16, 202414:02