She Said What?

The tea is finally being spilled. In this episode, you'll hear about:

• how I went from a 3 year monogamous relationship to opening up with that partner
• my experiences of dating new people
• how to manage jealousy and miscommunications
• how to set boundaries for an open relationship
• how to bring up non-monogamy with a partner
• & so much more!

Resources

Do you feel like one week you're hot, funny and gorgeous, but the next week you're depressed, confused and feeling all around yucky? Are you trying to keep daily routines but failing miserably? Are you exhausted and nearing burnout? Trust me, I hear you.

Two years ago, I started Cycle Syncing and since then, I've learned all of the tips and tricks. In this episode, you'll hear how to:

• eat the right foods (without any restrictions)
• work out less and feel better
• sync your relationships & sex life to your cycle
• create a work schedule that makes you love what you do

Why are they sometimes worse than romantic breakups? How do we know if we should move on or try to work it out? How can we heal and make new friendships, without self sabotaging? In this episode, we'll be answering all of these questions, while addressing the impermanence in relationships and what we can do to cope with our ever-changing lives. Spoiler: nothing is wasted and you're going to be okay!

Whether you're exploring your sexuality for the first time or queerness is your whole world, this episode is going to help you navigate:

• internalized homophobia
• coming out
• feeling "queer enough"
• feeling like you're behind

Not only are we exploring internally to break down misconceptions and negative thinking patterns, but we're talking about the practical things that you can start doing TODAY to work towards feeling confident in your sexuality.

If there's anything I wish I knew before I started dating, it's these 10 tips. Whether you're single at the moment, have a bf/gf/etc. or it's... complicated, I've got you.

In this episode, we're answering the questions:

• Is it worth dating within your friend group?
• Should a relationship "feel easy" or does it take work?
• When should I let a problem go and when should I bring it up?
• & so much more!

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Have you ever been given an opportunity that felt like it wasn't meant for you? Do you doubt your abilities even when the people around you believe in you? In this episode, we explore:

• why we get Imposter Syndrome
• who it's most likely to affect
• why it's not a bad thing
• what you can do to cope

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Whether you're feeling stuck sexually in your long term relationship or you're trying to navigate the early stages of a relationship, sex can be hard to talk about. This episode is going to give you the framework to be able to have the conversations that will enhance your sex life. We'll be talking about the must have's like consent, caution and communication; plus, we'll dive into the common issues like pain during sex and inability to orgasm with a partner.

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This episode is all about self pleasure and how we can grow in the intimacy that we share with our bodies. I'll be taking you through questions that will help you to unlearn the shameful BS that we are taught about sex. This episode will leave you feeling closer to your sexual self and excited to enjoy the pleasure that is available to you!

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We've all had friends surprise us! Sometimes they come into our lives unexpectedly with aMAZiNg energy or they completely f*ck us over. This episode is going to help you get better at making the RIGHT friends.

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Some people kinda suck! But how you respond matters. In today's episode, you'll hear about:

• dealing with difficult humans in the workplace, your family, your friend group, etc.
• 8 tips to being the bigger person, while standing your ground
• setting boundaries to avoid the BS

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Wellllll sh*t, things didn't work out. Lucky for you, we've all been there and it's going to be okay! In this weeks episode, we'll be talking:

• the one thing you MUST do to get over your ex
• how to begin the healing process
• healthy & unhealthy coping mechanisms
• the things that ACTUALLY help you move on

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Does money make you anxious? Are there habits you wish you didn't have when it comes to money? In this week's episode, we're talking:

• money mindsets and where they come from
• "money stories" and what yours says about you
• healing your relationship with money
• understanding where your money goes & creating a basic budget

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From moving across the world after high school to becoming a completely different person after I left my old beliefs... I've picked up a few things. To celebrate my 23rd birthday, this episode is 23 life lessons that I wish I knew sooner!

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A lot of us are perfectionists! It's super common to feel this way and nothing to be ashamed of. But how might this be holding you back? What can you do to get out of the perfectionist mindset and go for what you want?

If you relate with the following, this week's episode is for you:

• you procrastinate following through on the things you're passionate about (ex. starting a creative project/business, changing career paths, going on a date)

• you struggle to feel confident in your work, you often second guess yourself

• you feel like you never quite meet the expectations/goals you have for yourself

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Do you have a hard time saying 'no'? Do you often match the energies around you, without considering how you're actually feeling? In this episode, we'll be chatting: 

• tips for the people pleasers and over achievers 
• self leadership for the anxious girly 
• how to set healthy boundaries (work, relationships, etc.) 
• how boundaries create space for creativity 
• creating authentically, following your passions 
• how people pleasing will steal your joy & sense of purpose 

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Have you ever felt like it's hard to make friends? Have you ever struggled with self doubt in relationships, feeling like you're not good enough? Has social anxiety played a role in your life? If this sounds like you, then this episode is for you! In this episode, you're going to hear about:

• how to make new friends
• how to manage social anxiety at a social event
• why community is so important
• how important it is for queer people to be in community
• & more!

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Are you trying to figure out your sexuality but it's really scary and confusing? Understanding my sexuality was something I struggled with for years. I felt too straight to say I was LGBTQIA+ (because I knew I liked men) but too into women to say I was straight... turned out, I'm bi! This episode is 10 moments in my life that made me realize I'm not straight, since I'm often requested to talk about what it "feels like" to be bisexual.

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We could all use a little more discipline... but not in a hustle culture kinda way, more in an accountability towards our passions kind of way. Because a lack of direction, crappy time management skills and a dash of imposter syndrome CAN genuinely hold you back from your dreams. You're not lazy! You're not stupid! You're not "not passionate enough" - you just need a little push (and some tips from yours truly)! In this episode, we talk about why discipline IS self love and how to find that healthy balance between 'the soft life' and the potential burnout that comes from hustle culture. 

Resources

I recently shared a Tiktok titled, '5 Myths About Sex That I Once Genuinely Believed' and you guys had so much to say about it (thoughts, questions, etc)! I thought, why not really dig into these points, share the stories that come along with them and have a chat about the things we all need to unlearn about sex! This is the sex advice I wish I had 6 months ago AND 6 years ago (theres something in here for everybody)!

Resources

In this episode, we are joined by Millie Gooch, founder of The Sober Girl Society and author of The Sober Girl Society Handbook! Millie has built a beautiful community for people who are sober and "sober curious" (a new term I'm obsessed with)! This episode is going to help you reflect on your relationship with alcohol, which is something we ALL could use. It's important to ask yourself why you drink; are you looking for confidence on the dance floor, momentarily dampening anxiety or potentially trying to escape? If there is even a part of you that feels this way, this episode is a shame free space for you to explore what changes you can make to heal your relationship with alcohol and more importantly, yourself (and no, this doesn't mean you must fully give it up). I'm so excited to share this idea of mindful drinking with all of you and for you to hear Millie's inspiring story!

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Have you been stuck on a decision you need to make? Whether or not to study? Whether you want to save money or travel? Or maybe it's the every day decisions that drive you mad, like what to make for dinner. In today's episode, I'll be sharing with you 5 tips that have helped me to make choices, big and small, so that you can avoid the anxiety that comes with decision avoidance. We'll be chatting about decision fatigue, intuition, deciphering your emotions and more!

Resources

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Today I am sharing the keys things that I did in 2022 that I will absolutely be doing again in 2023, because of how much they made my year. This episode is going to help set you up for the best year you’ve ever had. Think morning/night time routine hacks, goal setting tips, and real advice on how to get the things you want in life to gravitate towards you!  

Resources 

Today, we have the privilege to hear from Naam Bachmayer (hot, fun, bisexual, etc)! She is a certified Menstrual Cycle Coach, Functional Hormone Specialist and Cookbook Author. Her mission is to empower you to balance period pain, PMS & irregular cycles and help you to connect to the power of your period with Cyclical Living & Mind-Body-Soul Nourishment. As a Thai-German, queer woman, she creates an inclusive space on her Instagram & TikTok for BIPOC & LGBTQIA2S+ and offers intimate 121 Coaching, deep dive Workshops & more. Topics we touch on in today's episode include:

• how your hormones might change your attraction (super spicy chat) and libido
• how to EASILY use food to balance your hormones
• how to create a schedule that actually flows intuitively with your hormones
• & so much more!

Find Naam (@thecyclicalcoach)

This episode is packed with everything you need to know about HSV (herpes)! There is an enormous amount of stigma around STI's but once you know the facts and understand how common they are, it all becomes a lot less scary. Joining us is Tricia, aka. The Safe Slut, who is a sex positive, HSV+ content creator who works to empower vulva owners with herpes! Things we will touch on includes:

• how to avoid contracting herpes and other STI's
• being confident in your sex life while being HSV+
• how to tell a potential sexual partner that you have herpes
• how to cope with herpes outbreaks
• & so much more!

Connect with Alyssa Harper

If I asked you what you think about your body, would your initial reaction be negative? We've been taught that our bodies need work and a lot of it. We've been convinced we need to "fix" every detail of our bodies to fit the societal standards of beauty but who says we have to accept that? Let's talk about how we can heal our relationship with our bodies from a place of compassion AND how this is going to dramatically amplify your sex life!

Resources

This week is a listener led episode where I answer all of the anonymous questions you guys sent in through Instagram (and y'all did not hold back lmao). You guys wanted to know all my secrets and get advice on how to break up with a friend, how to navigate a work crush, how to tell your partner that you want to explore sexually + much more! 

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Vibrators? Pleasure rings?? Suction??!? Dual stimulation???? Amazing orgasms???!!? 

This weeks episode is a full on HOW TO for all things sex toys! Whether you've never had an orgasm or you're looking to expand your collection, this episode is for you. Let's get spicy!

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In this episode, I share about the lessons I've learned over the last 5 years that have given me better relationships, a stronger connection to my authentic self and have even helped me receive the things that I want in my life (friendships, job, lifestyle, etc.). You're going to hear a bunch of fun stories and walk away feeling encouraged. This is the advice I wish I had when I was younger!

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If your sex education in school was as bad as mine, this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk all things consent, virginity, orgasms and blue balls??? We also get to hear some tips from the SSW listener community! Educated sex is fun, pleasurable and shame-free, so let’s get up to speed.

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THIS IS THE CONFIDENCE BOOST YOU NEED. In this episode, through a mix of encouragement and tough love, you'll learn how to increase your self esteem, have a better relationship with your body and how to put your authentic self out there! Let this episode be your turning point.

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This episode is for the following people:

• someone who wants to unlearn toxic beliefs & mindsets they’ve been taught (by family, the church, or even just general societal norms that are harmful)

• someone who wants to re-establish their overall mindset on themselves and the world; establish their true values

• someone who feels lost after leaving the church (wants to fill the gaps)

• advice for those who have different beliefs to their friends & family + how to manage these relationships

Disclaimer: This episode is not here to encourage you that this is the path YOU should take but to educate on deconstructing and how to even begin this process. I hope that the conclusions you may come to after listening to this episode speaks to YOU and gives you the framework to explore YOUR truth. I do not wish to offend anyone and know that this is just my personal journey, as I hope to encourage and help others in this process.

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Do you have questions about bisexuality? Maybe you're bisexual or thinking you might be. Maybe you're in a relationship with somebody who identifies as bi and you simply want to educate yourself. In this episode, we discuss the reality of being bisexual: why it's something to be proud of, coming out, common mental health struggles, intersectionality, threesomes and more!

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Joining us is Sex and Relationship Coach, Alyssa Ljub, answering the super juicy anonymous questions sent in by you guys! In this episode, we touch on: exploring your sexual self & sexuality without shame exploring relationships with women for the first time (as a woman) open relationships/non-monogamy religious beliefs and sex ethical porn  how to stop having pain during sex enthusiastic consent & communicating your wants/needs in the bedroom 

Find Alyssa Ljub - Guest

Have you felt like you're never the one to initiate? Do you want to have sex more, but you don't want to wait around to be asked? Has your partner asked you to initiate more but you don't know how? If you said yes to ANY of these questions: this episode is for you!

We all want our partners to feel wanted, but being the one to initiate sex can be challenging if you're not used to doing it. You might think it needs to be a grand gesture, but it doesn't! In this episode, I explain the different types of desire and how to apply it to your relationship (understanding this changed my sex life)! Plus, I give you 10 different ways to initiate sex, whether you're confident in this area or not. It's time to try something new and prioritize your pleasure!

Want to know all my secrets? Not related to me? Great! Because in this episode, you'll get to know me a little better (or a lot better) and hear my advice on the messages you guys sent in! Enjoy hearing me overshare for an hour. Buckle up.

Have you ever tried to do it all at once? Have you ever been overwhelmed by the layers of everything you're trying to accomplish? This episode is about acknowledging the current season you're living in so that you can get the most out of your every day life. In this episode, you will get a step-by-step journalling practice that will help change the way you manage your goals and passions. 

Have you ever not gone for something because you "just can't picture yourself doing it"? So many of our daily choices come back to visualization and the lens we see ourselves through. It's time we wipe the smudge off that lens and see the potential that truly lies within us. In this episode, we discuss the science behind WHY visualization actually works and how you can incorporate it into your life to create the life you've always wanted. We discuss automatic negative thoughts and how to change the narrative because you deserve a live filled with decisions made out of self confidence, not fear. 

Have you ever wondered... What even is an orgasm? Does it just feel good or are there other benefits? Why do I sometimes feel sad after sex? Well, today you get the answers! In this episode, we also cover how your pelvic floor, your hormones and even your self-confidence can affect your orgasms. Get ready to enhance your sex life!

This episode is all the inspiration you need to shift your mindset from "ugh I'm useless on period" to "my period is an opportunity to connect with myself". We talk about how to break out of the mindset of being in constant harvest and how to accept and even appreciate our cyclical ways of being. I share with with you all of the best foods to eat to support your hormones, the best exercise to do on your period, how to journal & reflect in this phase and how to create a work/school schedule that doesn't leave you feeling drained. It's time to shift our patriarchal beliefs around our periods and begin to lean into all the beautiful benefits they give us!

Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:

Being in a healthy long-term relationship is a beautiful thing. But sometimes, after things are comfortable and consistent, we can start to lose the excitement towards the sex life we share with our partner. This is often when people start questioning if the relationship is as good as they thought it was. It can be hurtful to not feel wanted and frustrating to see this spiral. But instead of assuming that a change in the sex life means the relationship has to end, why don't we talk about some alternatives. In this episode I give you an understanding of WHY this can happen and WHAT you can do to spice things up and get that feeling of novelty back.

Find Alyssa Harper (@alyssataylorharper) on:

Joining us in this episode is Moonli, a Hormone and Period Nutritionist (how cool is that)?? She is teaching us all about eating for the different phases of your menstrual cycle, why food is such a key factor in balancing our hormones and how to implement this in a way that isn't overwhelming. She also answers ALL of the questions you guys sent in: 

What even happens to my hormones in my menstrual cycle?

What if I have PCOS/Endometriosis/irregular periods? Is it different? Can I still sync my cycle?

What if I'm on the birth control pill/the hormonal or copper IUD? Does that change things?

Are HIIT workouts wrecking my hormones?

Does my food have to be organic? Which foods can I eat to get rid of cramps/acne/bloating? 

Also, is bloating something to worry about? 

And more!

This girl is a powerhouse and you guys are going to LOVE this episode.

Find Alyssa:

In this episode, we have the opportunity to hear from Blue; a queer, non-binary, HILARIOUS friend of mine. Blue teaches breathe work/meditation, AND works with an organization called The Man Cave that helps facilitate conversations with young men to help them deconstruct and reform their ideas around masculinity. Blue has an inspiring story of healing, challenging their beliefs and becoming their most authentic self. Blue challenges me to be a better human on a regular basis so I KNOW this episode is going to fuel you with joy, excitement for life and the permission to explore everything life has to offer. 

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Joining us today, we have Roxanne Nai'a who is a Science Communicator and Social Psychology Doctoral Student who studies processes that impact women's experiences in the world; things like sexism, objectification of women and sexualization. In this episode we get to hear what it's like to be a women  working in science and all about the incredible studies she has done (even Cardi B had something to say about it)! We also hear about her journey with the birth control pill, the IUD and how she travelled to Canada for an IUD that wasn't available to her in the USA (if you are someone who menstruates in the USA, you NEED to hear this)! This episode is packed with empowering knowledge and the kick of feminism that we all need. 

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In this episode, we have the lovely Eli Blanco (samegirl.eli) back again as we dive deep into your questions about Cycle Syncing. Now that you know what this is all about (if you don't, make sure to listen to Episode 19 before this one), it's time to answer your questions on how things like the birth control pill, using an IUD (copper or hormonal) or having irregular periods might affect your ability to Cycle Sync. We talk about how to optimize your sex like in each phase of your cycle, which tasks to focus on in each phase for better productivity AND how coffee might be affecting your hormones (don't worry, it's not all bad news)! This episode taught me so much about my body and applying these things to my life has been incredibly empowering ― I know you guys are going to love it!

Don't have time to listen to a bunch of podcasts but still want to get my #1 tips and have your best glow up yet? You're in the right place. I'll be sharing all of my secrets from fitness to mindset, to sex and sexuality, with specific brand recommendations and all of the resources listed below! Basically, here’s everything I would tell myself at the start of my self growth journey that I intentionally began about 2 years ago when I was at my worst and I decided that something needed to change. I tried a whole bunch of things to get to where I am now and THESE are the things that WORKED. This is your cheat sheet from one bestie to another.

Let's Connect:

This episode is for those who menstruate (have their period), and those who know someone who menstruates... so, all of you! Joining us today is period guru, Eli Blanco (also known as @samegirl.eli on Instagram) who is incredibly talented in teaching people how to get better energy, have a better connection with themselves and how to reach their fitness goals, ALL through the power of their period! I personally learned so much from this episode and am feeling super empowered to lean into this practise going forward. I know you guys will be blown away too!  

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Books