Anecdotes Podcast

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – One of the most common problems we’ve been struggling with: What should we do with our lives? 3:15 – Cited an article on depression by Johann Hari on Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/07/is-everything-you-think-you-know-about-depression-wrong-johann-hari-lost-connections) 4:40 – Vance’s recount of a meeting with his mentor, and a review of recent career decisions 7:40 – Sometimes we need to go through regrets to know what we really want in life 10:40 – Many of us are paralysed by our fear of “wasting time”, wanting to achieve certain things by a certain age 12:35 – If you keep looking at past undesirable decisions as “mistakes”, you won’t get past yourself to achieve what you want 14:50 – Could it be how so many young and “successful” people shape how we think about ourselves? 16:30 – Taking time to sit down to review and evaluate recent events can help in living a better life 19:15 – Episode wrap-up: If you don’t know what to do in your life right now, why not start by improving yourself bit by bit every day?

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim confessed his recent struggles of not exercising and posed the question: How do we build mental toughness? 3:30 – Vance thinks that physical fitness will strengthen our mental toughness because both mind and body are interconnected 4:10 – Mentioned the state of flow (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)) 5:50 – Even Vance, who has been exercising regularly and religiously, struggles and often think about just skipping a session 7:20 – How to sleep early and wake up early? 8:50 – Start with simple routines; think about the 5BX we have to do in army every morning that forces our bodies to get out of the comfort zone 10;30 – Tim has been trying intermittent fasting to increase productivity in the morning 12:45 – Following a schedule – could it be counterproductive? 15:30 – Tim made a bet with an accountability partner but both of them failed 17;10 – How to battle distractions and sleep early? 19;20 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim and Vance share some thoughts about new year resolutions 4:25 – New year resolutions tend to be too big and we seldom sit down and work out the steps to achieve them 6:10 – Try to integrate an execution plan into our daily schedule so we won’t have the chance to contemplate 11:30 – Vance thinks having an accountability partner can be quite effective in achieving something 12:45 – We’re human after all, we can’t be 100% every day, so any external help can make a huge difference 14:25 – Reiterate the two points: integrate the execution plan of your goal in your daily schedule, and try to get an accountability partner 16:50 – Discussion about Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search For Meaning (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning) 17:20 – “He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim sharing his reflections about his relationships with his two elder brothers 3:40 – Tim and Vance confess that they’re not very close to their siblings 5:30 – Feeling valued as the youngest in the family can mean a lot 6:00 – Tim dared to try many new things over the past few years and somehow influenced his eldest brother to do so 8:15 – Most of Tim’s decisions are heavily influenced by his eldest brother but not in a bad way; Tim also learned a lot about himself and is grateful 10:55 – Tim is not sure if he loves his current job but he’s gaining a lot and growing 16:00 – All kinds of relationships, especially kinships, it’s our duty to make the people around us feel appreciated

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Vance’s reflection on his past years of working and ask whether years of experience are always indicative of professional excellence 4:00 – The quality of the experience is a lot more important than the duration 8:10 – Vance’s worry about falling into the same trap – just accumulating “years of experience” and not making good use of the time 9:10 – It doesn’t matter how much time you spend in the office or job, it’s about the value you create 10:10 – “Comfort is the enemy of growth.” 12:00 – When we feel discomfort, just push a little more because that’s the point of improvement 13:45 – Tim looking back at how he got his current sales role – mentioning the value he created and not the years of experience was what left an impression 14:50 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim’s random thought: What are the common characteristics do people look for in friends? 5:00 – Hypocrites are drawn to genuine people 8:35 – Hypocrites usually know they are hypocrites but they still do it; mentioned Charles Chu’s article on lies (https://medium.com/the-polymath-project/the-fraudulence-paradox-david-foster-wallace-on-lies-loneliness-and-belonging-24dc9cc88282) 10:35 – What Vance thinks could be the reason why we don’t tell others our troubles 13:20 – Mentioned Zat Rana’s article on friendship (https://medium.com/personal-growth/aristotles-timeless-advice-on-what-real-friendship-is-and-why-it-matters-c0878418343f) 15;45 – Mid-twenties to late-twenties are the years we start to contemplate our friendships and relationships 18:00 – Fallen out with old friends because of differences and did things become better after that? 19:55 – Do females fall out with other females more often than males fall out with males? 24:15 – Males have simpler minds compared to females and males can overlook certain things 26:50 – Most of us like similar people and thus tend to interact more with people like us 28:20 – People change over time, whether it’s for the better or worse, and that’s why our social circle expand and shrink constantly 30:05 – Sometimes being hypocritical is necessary for some of us to get what we need in certain situations 32:00 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Happy 2018 and Vance’s reflections on being right; mentioned his film review of Wonder (2017), a film about a young boy with a face deformity 3:15 – “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.” – Dr Wayne Dyer 4:00 – It feels good to be right but sometimes, it feels better to be kind; being right might only make one person happy while being kind makes two people happy 7:15 – Businesses are increasingly operating on the value of being right instead of being kind to people 8:35 – Tim playing the devil’s advocate: You can’t keep being kind to others if you’re not kind to yourself or don’t have the ability to be kind 10:00 – When we’re in a position of privilege, being kind almost always doesn’t harm us 11:00 – Reminds Tim of one of his friends, who put in her all and feel unappreciated at the end; and Vance’s perspective: don’t allow a few unappreciative people affect your actions towards the appreciative people who deserve it 14:20 – We need to go out to see if the grass is indeed greener on the other side; Tim’s friend will have to eventually find out who deserves her kindness 17:35 – “Be the change that you want.” – A quote inspired by Mahatma Gandhi 20:00 – Gary Vaynerchuk always talk about leaving behind a legacy; it’s not about the material and tangible things you leave behind but the ideas you leave behind 24:15 – “Your heart is the map that shows where you’re going; your face is the map that shows where you’ve been.” – Another quote from Wonder; and episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Merry Christmas and some of our thoughts about Christmas 4:00 – Tim’s anecdote: a reflection on a pseudo-matchmaking session; he can’t explain what kind of girl he’s interested in 6:30 – Vance’s perspective: a lot of our decisions in relationships are based on gut feelings 9:00 – Looking for specific characteristics versus looking for chemistry in a love interest 12:00 – Our perspectives on matchmaking and speed dating sessions 15:30 – Matchmaking sessions tend to have the pressure element, which might have an adverse effect on the whole experience 18:15 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Why Vance doesn’t want to work freelance just for money and lose time he can’t gain back 3:00 – Mentioned Dr Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13523061-the-defining-decade) 5:00 – As long as you’re not sleeping on the streets, trade your time for experience first, then money 5:55 – Tim thinks he’s trading his time for just money; Vance begs to differ because Tim is taking on a sales role, which gives him a lot of valuable experience 7:10 – Tim’s short reflection and update on his current situation at the workplace 10:45 – Sales isn’t just about the ability to sell, there are more to it 11:50 – The context: If you’re working a side gig that doesn’t teach you much other than giving you cash for your time, you might be wasting opportunities. Ask yourself if the job can be replaced by a machine or bot 13:35 – Remember Gary Vaynerchuk’s advice about patience – it’s underrated in today’s world so putting in the patience gives you an edge 14:35 – Vance had to admit he was tempted by the money and why freelance jobs are good money on top of full-time jobs but the sacrifice can be costly; free time is very valuable to working adults 19:05 – Episode wrap-up; What are Timothy and Vance trading the time to produce Anecdotes for?

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Quick update: Vance is working in a new company now 2:35 – Tim realised that when his boss was on a short break, he and his colleagues are stepping up as leaders to help run things smoothly 5:55 – Tim is helping his newer colleagues and seeing his old self in them; he’s doing his part to build the culture of helping in the office 8:10 – The employees are the ones building and determining the company culture 10:20 – It’s through experiencing ups and downs together that the parties involved will grow closer to one another 11:30 – Tim sees the importance in giving back because the receiver and giver will feel better 15:25 – Tim’s relationship arc with one of his senior colleagues and lessons learned – a good example of giving unconditionally to a turning point 21:15 – Laughter and good relationships within the workplace make the day more enjoyable; James Altucher mentioned adults smile about 4 times a day on average while children smile and laugh so much more (https://jamesaltucher.com/2014/04/what-happened-to-all-the-laughter/) 22:35 – We shouldn’t let other people’s selfishness affect our decision of helping everyone regardless 24:05 – Episode wrap-up 27:00 – Tim and Vance’s thoughts about Anecdotes being 1-year-old

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Why do we like to talk about the good things and leave out the bad things? 4:10 – Vulnerability tends to draw people in because of the relatability; but Tim asked, could it be that we don’t want to spoil someone else’s day by talking about our problems? 7:30 – Tim thinks that men tend to fall prey to these problems more often; mentioned Lewis Howes’s newest book The Mask Of Masculinity 9:30 – Being vulnerable allows the relationship to deepen, we need to show our flaws so others can learn how to accept us 13:10 – Think about going on a date: The other person will only be interested if you’re not bragging all the time but showing your true self 14:35 – Tim points out that it takes time for people to let their guard down 15:25 – Vance’s reflection on his past struggles with showing a strong ego but realised in recent years that it’s perfectly okay to be vulnerable 17:35 – When we come to terms with our shortcomings and be open to sharing it, we’ll start to be less ashamed of it and improve 18:25 – Update on Vance’s recount of interviews in episode #34 and the hardest question in any job interviews

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s reflection on his behaviour: Am I still me if I behave differently in front of specific people and 4:50 – What does it mean if my behaviour depends on their responses too? 6:00 – Vance thinks it’s about adapting to social situations – we bring out the parts of us that are necessary for the specific situation 7:40 – Vance thinks our personalities are a mixture of personality traits that overlap with one another 8:25 – Tim’s reason for asking and reflecting is his worry about offending others when he gets too comfortable and straightforward 9:30 – Random motorbike revving engine and Tim’s iPhone’s notification tone 10:35 – If someone really wants to deepen the friendship or relationship, he or she has to accept the other person’s flaws 12:50 – How Tim used self-deprecating humour to approach potential clients for mortgage loans 14:20 – If you’re comfortable with a person, does it mean you like the person? 15:55 – Tim’s summary: At the end of the day, which version of yourself are you most comfortable and happiest with? 17:30 – Tim is grateful for the fortune of meeting someone whom he can relate to and bring to the next phase of his life; these people shaped his personality along the way too 18:50 – Mentioned James Altucher’s Reinvent Yourself and Choose Yourself 19:50 – Bloopers

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Vance never prepared so much for job interviews before but he went the extra mile to impress 2:10 – Girl sent a direct message to Airbnb founder with a deck (article on Huffington Post https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/airbnb-resume-viral_us_55a90cb3e4b0c5f0322d0b5a) 4:25 – Mentioned Noah Kagan’s podcast episode 43 (Sales Tips for Your Business and Daily Life) 5:30 – Tim’s professional “disaster” that turned out better than expected 10:05 – How Tim could have done better; research and pitch something that could benefit them 13:00 – How Vance changed his perspective about tackling problems – putting more thought instead of “just going with the flow” 15:15 – Mentioned movie Stronger – we need to cultivate the habit of going against our selfish instincts 17:10 – Gary Vaynerchuk said before about guilt-tripping everyone with so much value that they will remember him for life 18:45 – We need to make more time for free thinking – reflect on our actions and how we want our lives to be/what makes the good life? (inspired by an article by Charles Chu – Rethinking Happiness) 22:00 – It’s impossible to live without regrets; what’s important is learning from the regrets to inform our decisions from then on 23:25 – Think about how to benefit others before asking for something in return

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s brother mapped out Tim’s possible career progression based on his emphasis on building relationships 3:40 – Tim used to give up easily but now he’s more determined than ever to press on 5:20 – We talked about the weapons of influence: likeness and reciprocity (Robert Cialdini’s Influence) 7:45 – Do you want need to be poor to appreciate what it feels like to be rich? 9:40 – Does Tim has a mind of his own if most of his career choices are based on other people’s advice? 11:35 – We all don’t know what we want as young adults with limited working experience so we can only tweak our choices over the course of our lives 13:45 – We need to find out what our “ideal day” looks like and work backwards to start our journey towards finding what we want in a career 15:45 – Why we often feel that rich people have more wisdom than the average population? 17:40 – Lessons are learned from mistakes but we can learn from successes too 21:00 – The idea of starting one’s own business is always magical 23:00 – Focusing on relationships instead of revenue might be at odds with sales but relationships are the foundation of long-term sales 24:30 – Mentioned Julie Zhuo’s newsletter

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Vance’s anecdote – An outing with a group of friends and one friend dominates the group conversation, talking only about her life 3:30 – People who only talk about their lives don’t seem to care about our feelings; Tim also had a similar interaction with someone he met at work 5:50 – Could social media be one of the causes of us constantly wanting to talk about our lives? 7:45 – Rambling on versus talking about something that can add value to people’s lives 9:30 – Tim mentioned a video by School Of Life – How Not to be Boring (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9i2HAE-ZSw) 11:05 – There’s another way to look at it – it could be that the person wants to liven up the atmosphere 14:05 – We shouldn’t be too quick to jump to conclusions, anyway 16:05 – All social interactions are just our efforts to build and maintain relationships; mentioned Noah Kagan’s podcast episode 43 (Sales Tips for Your Business and Daily Life) 19:00 – Vance’s takeaway: be sure what you want to say/sell, understand the listener/audience, and tailor it to benefit them; episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim asked Vance about his journaling habit, reflections on the week’s decisions and plans ahead 2:35 – Review and assess what went wrong instead of giving up – a mistake Tim made up until now and realised after a chat with a friend 5:00 – Vance’s analogy about solving a rubik’s cube being similar to how most of us live our lives – no proper strategy and just trying blindly 9:00 – Tim’s plan to pursue purposeful actions and not just overcoming inaction 11:50 – We wouldn’t grasp 100% of any books we read but discussions with others can improve our understanding 16:00 – Tim’s takeaway: overcome inaction, assess what can be done better and last but not least, try again with purpose action guided by the assessment; episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Vance’s anecdote – A conversation with a friend about the amount of work we should put in as an employee 3:00 – We need to constantly learn new things whether or not there’s anyone to teach us 6:00 – There are 2 kinds of jobs – performance-independent (fixed salary) and performance-dependent (commission/incentive-based salary) 9;15 – Although you get a fixed salary, if you don’t perform better than expected, your pay can’t increase 11:35 – Tim and Vance’s boat theory to describe the situation 14:30 – Tim playing the devil’s advocate to explain the other side of the coin; it’s still a utopian ideal that is hard to fight for in the real world 16:00 – A captain is important to band everyone together and steer in the right direction; we all need something to believe in (mentioned Simon Sinek’s Start With Why) 18:10 – Performing more than expected is actually beneficial for yourself 20:35 – Maybe it’s our culture: most of us think that the smart ones are those who work less for more money and know how to avoid doing more work 23:50 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s anecdote – A conversation with a property agent who started as a salesman who sold automobile as a middleman 4:40 – Sales is more about making the buyer like you rather than knowing the products inside out 6:20 – If you’re new, you try to go above and beyond to offer solutions to other people’s problems; provide value 8:30 – Old Chinese saying: The master will always teach you only 9 out of 10 skills to always have leverage over the disciple 10:55 – But the stranger shared all 10 skills to others so he has to acquire more skills and improve 12:40 – Be more confident but don’t become another person; always be genuine 15:35 – There are lessons to be learned from anyone but learning how to learn is a skill in itself; education systems focus on memorising not learning 17:45 – We seldom stop to think and reflect on what we’ve done; in fact this podcast is our journal 21:40 – Selling is not what you think is good; selling is listening to what your buyer needs and offering that to him or her 24:00 – Conversing with others is therapeutic and the worst punishment is solitary confinement; mentioned Cast Away (2000) 25:45 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Vance’s anecdote – reflections on job search over the past few weeks 3:35 – Tim’s inputs: The writing industry is a sunset industry; it’s ok to change and adapt to situations 6:00 – Writing is not so much of a job now but a requirement in most jobs 7:10 – The difference between content marketing and copywriting; got it from Sean McCabe’s book – Overlap 9:30 – Vance can write in his free time instead of strictly finding a writing job; it’s all about showing up 13:25 – Writing copy at an agency and for clients might help Vance expand his network 14:15 – We’ll have many interests in life but we can’t be good at everything and make a living out of them 15:00 – Overlapping is important – work a job to pay the bills while doing something you really love 18:20 – If we want any kind of results, we need to show up a lot more often 19:30 – Most podcasts can’t get past the 50th episode; most pet projects can’t get past the first year – it’s a challenge for us! 21:15 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s anecdote – He shared the podcast with a friend and her compliments made his day 3:00 – Tim’s friend inspires him with her determination and perseverance 8:50 – Knowing you inspired or helped someone is quite unbelievable 10:00 – Mentioned the film Mother! (2017) and Vance wrote a film review on F*** Movie Mag (http://www.fmoviemag.com/mother-2017-review/) 11:45 – Why Jennifer Lawrence is so popular and relatable; how we’re attracted to relatable 14:30 – Tim wants to try meditation to get a better grip on his life and be more awareness; can try Headspace 16:00 – Another experience while meeting new property agents 20:00 – Tim likes the networking part of the job but it’s very draining 22:15 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Most of us tend to give the excuse of doing things only whenever we want it, especially when we can’t get instantaneous results 3:15 – Exercising is a great example; self-consciousness and judgment from others are huge obstacles 5:25 – Vance’s personal experience of losing 15-20kg 6:25 – Adopt the Stoic’s way of life (https://dailystoic.com/) when trying to achieve something that requires long-term commitment; remove emotions and make it a habit 9:00 – Most people don’t judge overweight people but most overweight people think everyone judges them; Vance used to feel that way too 10:30 – Would Vance and Tim get together with a chubby or overweight person? 13:20 – It’s hard to say because finding a person who makes you feel comfortable is very rare 14:10 – Episode wrap-up: Make it a habit and don’t think too much

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s anecdote – introducing himself to property agents; nervous to approach strangers for the first time 6:15 – Tim had to do something to make himself stand out from the other mortgage specialists 9:40 – Tim used to hate approaching strangers but he knew he need to put himself in uncomfortable positions to learn; doing others what others are not willing to do 10:55 – Unfamiliarity and discomfort will slowly disappear as we repeat it 12:10 – The fear of what others think of us crippling us to act; likability is a very important factor; mentioned Robert Cialdini’s Influence book (https://www.influenceatwork.com/) 14:45 – We need to feel some fear/anxiety when we’re doing something to improve ourselves to know there’s something at stake 16:05 – Feeling more confident after going through the uncomfortable situation 18:35 – Learning to deal with anxiety and fear of meeting new people 20:35 – Meeting new people in social situations is different from meeting new people in business situations 22:50 – Episode wrap-up; Tim’s most valuable lesson – The longer you wait, the more you will not act

SHOW NOTES 1:40 – Tim’s anecdote, some thoughts after watching the last episode of Game of Thrones 5;45 – We often forget the tribulations and setbacks behind a successful face 8:00 – Social media highlights the results and overshadows the dirty work needed to get the results; it is a double-edged sword 10:45 – The paradox of inspirational videos, they inspire you but seldom tell you how to achieve what you want 12:30 – Theon Greyjoy is like us (the audience) while Jon Snow is like a wake-up call, advice we don’t like to hear because we know it’s true 16:35 – Game of Thrones isn’t just a good combination of dragons, zombies and sex, it’s well-written and very relatable 20:35 – We want to be consistent with what we say and behave; failure to do so will make us look like unreliable 22:35 – The journey towards redemption and greatness is always inspiring 24:45 – Failures are only permanent if you choose 27:05 – Stories of failing and getting back up are a lot more relatable than flat out success stories 28:45 – Vance’s anecdote, why writing well and thinking well are interconnected 32:55 – Mentioned a Medium article, “How Books and Television Affect Your Brain Differently” (https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-books-and-television-affect-your-brain-differently-according-to-science-82c3b14f789b) 35:25 – Mentioned Charisma on Command Youtube channel (https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand), tips on how to be more confident, and why people are reading books less and watching 3-4 min summary videos 40:15 – Is it better to watch the summary videos rather than the books since our memory is not great anyway? 43:30 – People want to peek inside successful CEOs’ brains and their writing is one of the most easily accessible ways to 47:15 – We don’t spend much time on thinking and reviewing our day, and being grateful 48:55 – Some thoughts on hawker centre etiquette and making the cleaner aunties and uncles’ lives better 55:10 – Episode wrap up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim’s anecdote, his notion of humans being helpful by nature was challenged 4:35 – Tim learned to appreciate and treasure help because of the situation 6:00 – You can’t change what happens to you but you can change how you feel and react to what happens to you 8:00 – Mentioned Robert Cialdini’s Influence book (https://www.influenceatwork.com/) 10:15 – Bad personality or just bad blood? 13:45 – Tim’s interactions with his colleague 17:35 – Similar personalities attract? 20:00 – Pros and cons of a straightforward personality 21:15 – Mentioned Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck book (https://markmanson.net/books/subtle-art) 21:35 – Opposing personalities attract? 23:10 – Writing goals on your desk to keep motivated 26:05 – Vance’s anecdote, cold emailing F*** Movie Magazine (http://www.fmoviemag.com/) and getting a film review published (The Battleship Island and Once Upon A Time reviews) 28:05 – As a writer, you need to pitch to several publications on the side and not just write full-time for one publication 29:45 – The power of asking for an opportunity; the common obstacle most creatives face 31:15 – People always say “don’t judge a book by its cover” but that’s what covers are for – Ryan Holiday 35:15 – Why having mentors help in self-improvement; getting shit done when you’re accountable to someone 37:00 – A good mentor doesn’t impose ideals on the mentee, a good mentor helps the mentee put the latter’s goals in perspective and help him achieve it 41:30 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Vance’s anecdote 1:55 – Are we a generation that needs to travel? Do we travel for the sake of travelling and to “show off”? 5:15 – We just like to travel because everyone else is doing it? 8:05 – Offer/deal websites are saving us money but making us spend money we wouldn’t otherwise spend if we didn’t see the offer/deal in the first place 11:15 – Balance between rationality and emotions to problems within a relationship and compromise 13:25 – There’s always this issue about someone is giving in more; how to deal with it? 16;35 – Don’t look at relationships with equations and formulae 19:40 – We shouldn’t expect someone to do something for us if we won’t do it ourselves 20:30 – Tim’s anecdote 22;15 – Tim gets upset when his friends don’t have clear goals and want to help them but he’s afraid he might be too overbearing 24:15 – People can only change if they want to be changed 29:15 – Influence people by adopting different angles 30;35 – Look in through other people’s lens to know if they’re ready; basically empathy 33:50 – Maybe we are just inspired by thought leaders and we want to help others as well 34:45 – Sometimes Vance ask himself, “Should I help this person?” 35:25 – But what about when people are whining about their lives and we just point the problems out to them? 36;15 – When someone whines or complains, he or she is not asking for a solution but emotional relief; when someone asks for help, he or she is asking for a rational solution 40;10 – Friends call Tim sarcastic because he can be too straightforward at times 41:35 – Some science talk quoted from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why (https://startwithwhy.com/) – Limbic brain and pre-frontal cortex 44:20 – Successful people are usually great at balancing rationality and emotions 47:40 – Episode wrap-up

SHOW NOTES 0:55 – Tim’s introduction of Terrace House 2:45 – We like reality shows because we yearn to be like the characters? 5:55 – A group of celebrities and show hosts commentating 7:05 – Dissecting Terrace House 10:05 – Why Tim likes the show so much – he’s reminded of the principles we discussed on the show with other guests and among ourselves 12:15 – Vance thinks the producers casted these members with an intention and knowledge that the show will be interesting 14:05 – Each cast member has their individual objectives/goals appearing on the show 15;50 – Taiwan, Korea and China have similar reality shows 17:00 – Discussion about why such reality shows are so popular 19:35 – Why Tim started to watch Terrace House in the first place – a friend told him that his mannerisms are similar to one of the characters named “Guy” 21:20 – Vance got reminded an anecdote shared by Jeff Cannata from Slash Film Cast (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-filmcast/id281400220) 22:25 – He mentioned that he’s very affected by malicious tweets 23:45 – Back to Terrace House – on rejection 25;45 – Terrace House is like the Sims? 26:50 – Back to what Vance was talking about – Jeff Cannata, an actor and podcaster 28:20 – We are all humans so we get affected by very similar things, whether we are a celebrity or not 29:00 – Links back to Terrace House – we like it when it’s relatable 30:35 – Do reality shows such as Terrace House serve a social purpose by educating viewers about rejection, failures, etc.? 33:00 – The hosts giving commentary is in itself valuable to viewers 34:25 – Reality shows typically rank very low on educational value because it feeds on sensationalism 39:40 – Episode wrap up

SHOW NOTES 1:00 – Tim’s anecdote 2:15 – We often lack empathy and like to jump to conclusions to judge others 5:30 – Why do we tend to jump to conclusions? Is it because of the need to feel right? 7:25 – Without empathy, we can’t be objective and fail to look at situations from different perspectives 8:50 – We tend to jump to conclusions because uncertainty scares us 10:20 – Goes back to the hunter-gatherer era 11:15 – Don’t jump to conclusion when it involves emotions 15:10 – Vance’s anecdote 17:55 – We can’t accept our shortcomings and problems because of our ego/pride 20:30 – Tim was trying to say: “Ego is a crown that the average people wear on their heads, but only the humble and wise can see it”; similar to the quote Conor talked about (Health is a crown that the healthy wear on their heads, but only the sick can see it.), albeit negative 21:00 – Related to the Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck; ego impedes improvement and progress (https://mindsetonline.com/) 21:40 – Most people can’t accept when they’re told they’re not “enough” 24:10 – Ask yourself: Are you working to your best abilities? 26:35 – Setting unrealistic goals for ourselves to achieve by a certain age – is it healthy? 27:30 – The best thing we can do for ourselves: Stop caring what others think 28:05 – Why it’s hard to not care about what others think – back to ego/pride; be confident instead of egotistical 28;45 – Mentioned Jeff Goins’s interview with Ryan Holiday on Ego Is The Enemy (https://goinswriter.com/ryan-holiday/) 31:00 – Back to Vance’s anecdote – What actionables did he give his friend? 33:20 – Finish your main responsibilities and do them well before taking up more 35:30 – Be patient and put in more work and time before expecting any results; people’s perceptions won’t change just over a few weeks 38:00 – Tim and Vance will share an anecdote each instead of an article 39:25 – Episode wrap up

SHOW NOTES 1:50 – Vance’s takeaway: Choose your interest or passion over a job that pays well; “health is the crown the healthy wear on the heads but only the sick can see it” 3:30 – Tim’s takeaway: Conor’s ability to be grateful for many things is inspiring; Operation Walk Ireland (http://operationwalk.ie/) 5:20 – Tim’s reflection on maintaining one’s health; the YouTube video (23 and a half hours) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo) 7:30 – Conor’s upcoming new podcast on health and physiotherapy 10:50 – Zat Rana’s article on How To Think Clearly based on Marcus Aurelius’s wisdom (https://medium.com/personal-growth/marcus-aurelius-how-to-think-clearly-c7f76026fb6) 12:20 – Looking at a situation from different perspectives 14:15 – Marcus Aurelius doesn’t allow his own perspective to distort reality 16:10 – Declutter the mind by writing things down to look at it objectively 19:50 – Why are we so concerned about adhering to societal standards or norms? Tim shares an anecdote about his conversation with his barber friend 22:40 – Someone who is happy doing his or her job might be better off and happier than someone rich but not doing he or she likes 24;20 – Be objective with what you want, work backwards to figure out how to get there 30:10 – Play the long game – if you’re happy with your job, success will come sooner or later with determination and hard work 31:05 – Don’t give so much thought about what people think of you 31:50 – Tim’s anecdote about getting caught in a dilemma whether to buy egg tarts for his colleagues 33:45 – Jason’s advice: Do it anyway because you will get judged regardless what you do 35:30 – The lack of a sharing culture and providing value to others 38:15 – Is it just the kind of culture Singapore is immersed in? Our parents used to tell us: Don’t mix with the bad company if you don’t want to turn bad; Finish your homework first before helping others 41:10 – What would your parents or anyone say if you decide to quit your job and join a charity organisation? 43:00 – Receiving or giving handouts? It might be because of how we’re wired 45:25 – Episode wrap up 46:40 – Think of societal norms as top sellers – people might like it but it’s ok if you don’t; go for what is best for you and not what others think is best

SHOW NOTES Conor Mc Hugh is from Ballina, County Mayo in Western Ireland 1:05 – Introducing Conor and how Tim met Conor 4:00 – Push and pull factors about migrating to a foreign country for work 5:05 – Losing shyness while growing up 6:50 – Tim’s curiosity about Conor’s “neutral” accent 8:15 – Is it true that fights are common in Ireland? 9:35 – Getting over homesickness 10:55 – Value time with family because of working overseas 11:45 – Finding common ground to build relationships 13:05 – Conor wants to start a conversation-centric podcast too, focused on wellness and health 14:50 – Conor’s experience of doing voluntary work at Vietnam for Operation Walk Ireland (https://www.facebook.com/operationwalkireland/), helping people suffering from osteoarthritis 18:30 – How Conor started volunteering for Operation Walk Ireland 21:30 – Why do successful people want to give back to society? 23:30 – Why did Conor choose physiotherapy as a profession? 24:45 – What kind of advice would Conor give a 16-17yo Conor? 26:35 – Conor had to choose between physiotherapy and marine biology at that time 28:10 – Harder to follow one’s interests for people growing up in Singapore 30:40 – Rogue-learning in modern education (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rogue%20learner) 32:50 – Singapore did a lot of things right, nonetheless 34:00 – No right or wrong in terms of parenting; putting ourselves in the baby boomers’ shoes 35:40 – Parents’ intentions come from a place of love; they just want the best for us 37:25 – It’s on you if you choose to stay in a place you don’t want to be in; you have to make your own choices 38:10 – Conor’s plans for the near future 40:25 – Tim meant, “More money doesn’t hurt” 41:45 – The worst thing you can do to a human – put someone in solitary cell 42:20 – When is Conor starting his podcast? 43:40 – The kind of people Conor meet every day as a physiotherapist Conor mentioned ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) rehabilitation, something related to knee 46:00 – View injuries as lessons to learn from 47:10 – Patients who left deep impressions on Conor 49:30 – “Health is a crown that the healthy wear on their heads, but only the sick can see it.” 50:45 – Physiotherapy teaching Conor gratefulness 51:30 – How Conor convinces people to take care of their health; Conor mentioned “23 and a half hours“ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo) 53:35 – The motivation of loss versus the motivation of gain 55:25 – Most of us understand that we need to talk to people before convincing but it’s hard to apply in reality 57:30 – Conor used to take on the problems of others on himself 59:00 – Missing food back in Ireland; fresh vegetables in the backyard garden 1:01:55 – Be grateful for the small little things 1:02:00 – Singapore’s food culture Conor mentioned Ayam Masak Merah 1:09:35 – theMEATMENchannel (https://www.youtube.com/user/theMEATMENsg) We mentioned Zhenwei, an entrepreneur who started his pop-up shop selling Japanese rice bowls with sashimi (Episode #10) 1:13:25 – Most of our ideas die in our heads 1:14:20 – Short discussion on podcasts We mentioned Aubrey Marcus’s podcast (https://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiA_9qPjKLVAhXHHJQKHUN-AnIQFggwMAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com%2Fus%2Fpodcast%2Faubrey-marcus-podcast%2Fid521945322%3Fmt%3D2&usg=AFQjCNF1N7abH4lAPZ7VB9hCl3wFAdZsOg) and Mike Tyson’s podcast, “Bite the Mic“ (https://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjOsavki6LVAhUCnJQKHWHDD0sQFggiMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com%2Fus%2Fpodcast%2Fmike-tyson-bite-the-mic%2Fid1243712798%3Fmt%3D2&usg=AFQjCNFizva-L-LXfQDws9S3C5FPYbsVbg) 1:18:20 – Episode wrap up

SHOW NOTES 1:50 – Goals are short-term and why they’re not the best approach to achieving something 5:10 – When we meet a goal we set previously, we might be lost when we eventually achieve it 7:45 – Cultivate a system or habit and stick to it 11:00 – Commit to a process and hone your craft 15:15 – Timothy’s experience with running 16:15 – Improvement plotted on a graph is never linear so don’t expect immediate results 18:15 – The few things that don’t come in an instant 22:15 – On #relationshipgoals 24:45 – Committing to a schedule takes the emotional element out of painful processes 26:30 – Not conforming to “goals” mean lesser expectations for oneself 28:15 – Using a basketball coach to explain “goals” and “processes/systems” 32:15 – Timothy’s encounter with a young credit card salesman 52:00 – Timothy’s experience with his trainer 55:45 – The importance of humour 58:00 – People who don’t have a sense of humour? 1:02:15 – Movie reference to Matthew McConaughey’s humming the money chant song in The Wolf Of Wall Street (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAhIg5Dy3uA) 1:03:45 – Laughing as a distraction to our troubles 1:05:30 – Timothy being smooth with mature ladies 1:07:10 – Summary: Reverse engineering by identifying a goal then come up with a system or process that will get you there 1:08:00 – Summary: Learning from someone younger than us 1:09:30 – Give people the attention they deserve

SHOW NOTES 1:45 – Timothy shares his first week as a Mortgage Specialist at OCBC bank, lessons learned (contact Timothy if you want a great deal for your mortgage *winks*) 4:30 – We feel safer and more secure with someone similar to us and Timothy’s chat with a fellow trainee who was a Taekwondo black belt 12:15 – Taking the initiative to approach people in a new environment to be part of a group or clique versus waiting for “handouts” 16:45 – Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr Robert Cialdini 19:45 – Vance’s lesson from a Medium article titled, “Finding a Real Audience: Who Are You Creating For?” by Christopher La Porte (https://writingcooperative.com/finding-a-real-audience-who-are-you-creating-for-ca2ebfb8653) 20:15 – The 5 different types of audience: “Walkers”, “Stoppers”, “Standers”, “Sitters” and “Dancers” 25:00 – We can’t please everyone; so engage those who care and appreciate us 28:15 – “Be the change you want to be” – is it an oxymoron? 31:30 – 32:00 Awkward honking from the Karung Guni (rag and bone man who collects unwanted items in Singapore) in the background (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karung_guni) 34:45 – James Altucher making a switch from working in finance to a full-time author and entrepreneur 35:45 – A Medium article that talks about Charles Bukowski and his philosophy of “just be you” (https://medium.com/personal-growth/charles-bukowski-how-to-stand-out-in-a-noisy-world-24720e17a6d1) 38:45 – What we hate or dislike is imperative because it makes it easier to find our passion 40:00 – An article Vance recently wrote: Screw judgement if you want to get anything done (https://theanecdotes.net/screw-judgment-if-you-want-anything-done/) 46:00 – People who judge you and your actions are usually afraid or jealous and people who say, “I told you so”. 50:30 – Rounding the key learning points for the week

SHOW NOTES 2:00 – Short introduction of Jason and our impression of him 8:15 – Don’t be 100% sure what you want to do but believe 100% in what you do 12:00 – Living by oneself and not being sheltered 14:15 – Jason’s humour 17:15 – First key learning point: Contribute as much as you can in your own way 19:15 – Don’t wait for that “big thing” 22:15 – Empathy is a necessity not something to be commended 25:30 – Shoutout to Bryan Victor from Misfits podcast 29:30 – Second key learning point: Leaders are overrated and followers are usually ignored or even disregarded 32:15 – For anyone to be successful, he or she needs support from others 36;15 – Vance likes to follow? 40:15 – Invention versus innovation 44:45 – Starbucks’s marketing strategy: honesty sells and Jason’s Instagram video 48:15 – Why do we lie? 53:00 – Third key learning point: Screw judgement to get stuff done 54:00 – Practical or impractical? 1:01:45 – If you’re not utilising your time, that’s impractical 1:04:45 – How to find out if you’re a “How” or “Why” person

This week on Anecdotes, Jason Teo, scriptwriter for a local video production house Juo Productions joins us! We talked about a bunch of things, particularly about how tough is local video production projects and what it means to be a creative in Singapore. We touched a little bit on leaders and followers, which Jason gave his unique perspective on: it’s alright not to be leader, as long as you’re contributing and believe in the cause. SHOW NOTES: 2:20 – Tim’s first impression of Jason 8:00 – How Jason got into scriptwriting for Juo Productions 18:20 – How Jason make his passion work at Juo Productions 21:30 – Everyone’s situation doesn’t allow creation but contribute to feel satisfied; entrepreneur fever 29:30 – Feeling lucky because knowing what one enjoys since a young age is extremely rare 30:55 – How do you find out what you like? 32:00 – Chase the small dreams before chasing the big dreams 34:50 – Judgement stops a lot of people in their tracks 38:40 – How hard was deciding to write scripts for Juo Productions? 42:20 – Where does Jason get inspiration for content? 44:55 – Building on an idea is as important as coming up with the idea itself 50:15 – Jason’s perspective of art 55:00 – Where the film industry is heading towards – Netflix! 58:00 – Singapore’s education system is too rigid and discourages free-thinking? 1:02:15 – Creative thinking is great but there must be leaders and followers 1:08:00 – Jason chose Polytechnic because it has a freer environment for his creative thinking 1:14:45 – Some shameless promotions for Juo Productions — Juo Productions YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/user/JazClips)

SHOW NOTES: 0:50 – Tim sharing his experience of traveling alone for the first time in Bali 3:05 – Advice from a father to son “Son, I am rich, you are not.” 8:00 – Started from the bottom, and now we’re here 10:25 – A startup weekend event in a coworking space in Bali where people would give elevator pitches to receive feedback from industry experts Facebook page Event page (Tourism edition) https://www.hubud.org/specialevents/startup-weekend-bali/ 17:20 – High-pitch voice vs low-pitch voice TED talk mentioned (https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_how_to_speak_so_that_people_want_to_listen) 23:00 – Speaking the same language as a stranger can create immediate connections 27:20 – Vance’s meeting with his mentor for the first time 34:20 – If you want people to engage your services, you have to be proud of what you’ve done and are doing, especially your paid experiences 39:00 – Snakes and ladders

SHOW NOTES Medium article: The Purpose of Life is to Be a Nobody (https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-a-nobody-72ceeb078373) 1. Being a nobody allows us to truly experience and appreciate the profoundness of the sublime. 2. Being a nobody frees us from the irrational pressures and expectations of an uncertain world. 3. Being a nobody gives us the humility to realise that it’s our struggles that define us, not our desires.

Show notes 4:20 – 21-year old Uber driver who had a wake-up call when he became a father 9:00 – Two choices while serving National Service. 17:00 – Being humble despite having small wins 27:00 – Timothy: Writers who write about the same topic, Minus 1 minute 22 seconds from here 34:18 – Writers should be a “T” person and writer’s block 38:17 – Writer’s block is a myth 53:58 – Vance: Books vs TV 58:10 – Why books are more helpful for the brain than TV, reading books as a form of creation 1:07:55 Being forgetful equates to being creative?` Mark Zuckerberg Video (https://www.facebook.com/facebook/videos/10155849356871729/?pnref=story) Curious Dinners (http://yes.cutthesmalltalk.com/dinners/) Vance: Books vs TV, why books are more helpful for the brain than TV, reading books as a form of creation

Guest: Chng Zhen Wei co-founder of Boru Boru

SHOW NOTES Guest: Sean Ethan Sahai 13:22 Travelling to open your mind 18:40 Racial harmony in Singapore 20:00 Growing up in a mixed family 24:00 Liberation from tendering resignation 30:00 Introversion 53:00 If I could spend 18 hours a day, it would be discovering music 57:00 Start with 5 things you enjoy doing 1:09:00 Being good at the things that matter is more important than being the best at one thing 1:11:11 Being remembered for what I am and not what I am not. 1:13:40 Working backwards by figuring what you want to leave behind to figure out the steps you need to make

1:00 Vance’s article of the week – Alexander’s Knot: A Different Way to Solve Hard Problems (https://medium.com/the-polymath-project/alexanders-knot-a-different-way-to-solve-hard-problems-756e9a8e9a9f) 1:20 Solving hard problems give us a sense of achievement and we learn from the experiences. But just because we can solve a problem, it doesn’t mean we should and must. 2:04 “An ancient oracle had foretold that anyone who contrived to loosen this knot would become lord of all Asia.” 3:35 Sometimes it’s not whether you can solve a problem, it’s whether you’re willing to move on to solve other problems worth your time 4:25 Alexander could have spent his time figuring out how to find the loose ends of the knot but he chose not to 4:45 Sometimes cutting the knot or ignoring it altogether will give us more time and energy to solve other pressing problems in life 10:40 Difference between giving up and solving problems that are affecting you 20:25 Relationships are two-way street. 23:00 Hanging with the wrong company 26:00 Appreciating the view with your friends 28:00 Camaraderie – mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together 30:00 Tim’s article of the week – Take the lowest pay possible (https://medium.com/the-mission/take-the-lowest-pay-possible-af59a0d4bd7a) 30:30 Earn less = less expectations;Earn more = bigger shoes to fill 32:00 Money clouds objectivity, you get worse at being honest with yourself. So you trick yourself into thinking how much you kinda like it because of the money 32:20 You don’t realize it, but a highly paid young person is like a red flag to people looking for hungry young talent. 34:00 Go into each job with a mission to be the best employee there. To create the most value, have the most fun, capture the company vision and help build on it, learn everything you can, help as many people as possible. Don’t turn down a job you like over a few thousand in salary. Don’t haggle over an offer to ratchet up the pay inch by inch. Ignore salary altogether if you can. Focus on building value for yourself and others. 40:30 6 Truths About Money That Are Tripping You Up (https://medium.com/personal-growth/6-truths-about-money-that-are-tripping-you-up-d9130b54be54) 42:00 Ambition comes from having interests and hobbies 46:00 Are you taking action? 50:00 Mediocre performance leads to mediocre pay 54:15 Using a lure instead of a net 55:20 Be the fisherman instead of a fish 56:48 Taking adult steps instead of baby steps 57:40 Stop worrying about what others think

1:00 Timothy’s article of the week – Why Being Right is So Addictive (https://medium.com/the-mission/why-being-right-is-so-addictive-127cd7a1054) 1:30 Importance of being right in the Caveman era 2:17 Being “right” in today’s context 2:50 Being “right” could determine whether you come in first or second (Long View) 3:30 Being “right” makes you feel addicted to feeling powerful(Subjective View) 4:30 Ultimate expression of being right – Self-righteousness 5:28 The power that a self-righteous person feel is temporary and its a defense against feeling unworthy and powerless. Self right-ness is a flailing attempt to compensate for feelings of self-wrong-ness. 8:19 Single and ready to mingle 8:30 If being right is is to cover up inadequacy, then it is to just to save face. 10:10 You just want to feel like you matter, makes both parties miserable when you argue about who is being right. 10:30 Instances when we are addicted to being right. Insistent about an opinion, defending what you said, using logic to back up what you said. 11:10 Being right has its place when there are potentially serious consequences to getting it wrong. But it’s best to have the choice about when to pursue rightness, rather than having your thoughts and actions dictated by reflexive addiction. 13:00 Being right is associated with survival at work. 15:15 Power play when being right or wrong, ends up in a lose-lose situation 17:15 Self-righteous = living in self-denial 19:29 Put away your ego is you want to learn 24:40 Being “right” is a short term pleasure, 27:20 Agreement is more important that right or wrong 27:39 Vance’s article of the week – When Your Calling Seems Vague and Unclear, You’re on the Right Track (https://medium.com/the-mission/when-your-calling-seems-vague-and-unclear-youre-on-the-right-track-a337fa020fbf) 28:05 Central idea: No one ever knows what he or she wants to do in life. They find out along the way but only if they actually put in the work to figure it out through trial and error. 28:26 “We all want to do work that matters. But the truth is, the journey to get there can be confusing.” 29:55 “A calling is the accumulation of a person’s life’s experiences, skills, and passions — all put to work.” 32:20 “But I find so many of us are want to name it without taking any action. I’d prefer the reverse: act and then define what you’re doing.” 34:00 It will only become a passion when you try, if not it will always be a dream 34:16 “What’s far less popular is the disciplined practice of a craft — spending thousands of thankless hours getting great at something before sharing it with the world.” 39:18 “The kind of practice the demands our total presence and most serious attitude.” 40:58 “If you choose to wait, to bide your time before beginning to figure out what you were meant to do with your life, well that’s a form of practice, too.” 44:00 Picking a suitable educational route for the desired field of expertise 50:15 Peak by Anders Ericsson (https://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwio4qCVjc7TAhVEq48KHYj6DiYQFgglMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FPeak-Secrets-New-Science-Expertise%2Fdp%2F1531864880&usg=AFQjCNEC0wEGiH5OQTDJA39c7ukMwx--lA&sig2=ntG7ymA7fqDzSFs5QRkeWA) 50:44 So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport (https://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi0ntmtjc7TAhUTR48KHQgwD6oQFgglMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FGood-They-Cant-Ignore-You%2Fdp%2F1455509124&usg=AFQjCNEgUDmsDcGujoeFoF_0-BD4dNqjKA&sig2=-ssLXpxJ_ZAJlzuxq-uEmg) 55:30 Vance’s journey on finding his passion 1:02:20 James Altucher – 5×5 rule (https://jamesaltucher.com/2017/02/5x5-rule/) 1:12:53 The best time to fail is now 1:15:30 The importance of a personal website

1:00 Book of life 2:26 Vance’s article of the week – Book of Life: Why We Should Try to Become Better Narcissists (http://www.thebookoflife.org/good-narcissism/) 5:34 Good narcissism = self-confidence and self-love 5:52 Spread the happiness to others 9:35 Being happy first before you help others 10:10 Taking photos of yourself = self-confident? 17:20 Is talking about myself narcissistic? 23:55 Umair Haque 29:30 Love yourself and be confident on who you are and spread the happiness to others, give value to people first before you receive value. 30:35 Timothy’s article of the week – College Graduation & Working Abroad: Advice From A Few Great Thinkers (http://12hourdifference.co/graduation-working-abroad-advice-great-thinkers/) 44:04 Going to school is akin to walking in the garden, going to work is akin to exploring the forest 50:20 Schools can teach you anything except how to learn 54:49 Facing your fears instead of avoiding it 1:03:30 We know ourselves better when we share more about ourselves

SHOW NOTES 1:00 Introduction to personal branding 2:50 Timothy’s article of the week – Every person is a brand (https://medium.com/simplybe-you/every-person-is-a-brand-ba4d103ca253) 9:15 More discussion on personal branding 11:30 Why personal branding is important 18:45 Vance’s article of the week – Why You Cannot Find “The One” & Why You Can’t Find “The One”: Part 2 & why we can’t find “The Perfect One” (https://byrslf.co/why-you-cannot-find-the-one-4446cf156079) (https://medium.com/the-mission/why-you-cant-find-the-one-part-2-e26569e36b69) 32:20 Vance’s personal experience of finding “The Perfect One” 35:40 Searching within one’s social circle 38:50 Opinion on dating apps and breakups leading to suicides 41:25 How much we don’t understand love 42:45 What is a good indication to know it is time to settle down 45:30 Treat all relationships with the same amount of trust, honesty and empathy 48:20 Give up bad relationships to build better relationships 49:50 Burning bridges 53:20 Relationships are the foundation of our world 54:20 Some actionables 55:10 Stop looking too far out; notice the ones around you 56:00 Go out and socialise to learn about relationships and work 57:35 Gary Vaynerchuk’s quote: The no’s are as important as the yes’s 59:30 Updates on the future plans

SHOW NOTES 1:28 Vance’s article of the week – 3 Ways to handle Healthy Anger in Your Relationship (https://psiloveyou.xyz/3-ways-to-handle-healthy-anger-in-your-relationship-6e015d297314) Anger is a primary feeling to mask our embarrassment, loneliness, exhaustion or fear 3 tips for listening to anger 1) Don’t take it personally A person’s anger is not about you, it’s about the underlying primary feeling, which is embarassement or loneliness or fear 2) Don’t EVER tell the person to “calm down” It means you are telling them that the way that they are reacting is unacceptable. 3) Identify the obstacle Finding out what is wrong, to understand what the anger is about. 14:40 Viral video (https://www.facebook.com/gerald.teo.35/videos/10154495761318683/) 23:45 Can we get rid of anger entirely? 27:35 Timothy’s article of the week – Three questions to ask before quitting your job (https://psiloveyou.xyz/3-ways-to-handle-healthy-anger-in-your-relationship-6e015d297314) 41:45 Vance’s written article on Medium – What makes work bearable (https://thecoffeelicious.com/what-makes-work-bearable-4a2d1ba08728?source=false---------0) 52:00 Plans for future guests!

SHOW NOTES 01:15 – Timothy’s article of the week – 6 Things to Stop Wasting Time On and Start Living (http://6%20things%20to%20stop%20wasting%20time%20on%20and%20start%20living/) Negative thinking – We tend to focus on the negatives more than the positives and that is a really sad thing. Negativity promotes stagnation. Comparing yourself to someone else – Because of social media, we tend to be drawn towards a certain individual who seems to have life figured out, and when we look at ourselves, we start feeling bitter. Focusing on the past – Your past failures does not dictate you, you need to accept that loss and move on. Trying to get people to like you – Why worry about what others think? You don’t have to make people like you, BUT you need to treat people the way you want to be treated. Surrendering to fear – If you give in to fear, it will cause stagnation again. Because you will worry about what others think if you fail. Always ask yourself, would I rather fail terribly than to regret not trying at all? Holding onto unforgiveness – It could be because of a mistake someone made and because of your inability to forgive, it caused a lot of pain for those around you. 18:15 – Vance’s article of the week – Life Is a Video Game (https://markmanson.net/life-cheat-codes) Game of life is tough, especially with everything trying to kill you the moment you’re released into the “real world” Therefore, the imperative task is to level up to make the game of life more enjoyable and less frightening Level 1 – Find food; find a bed to sleep in at night Level 2 – Know you’re not going to die Level 3 – Find your people Level 4 – Do something that’s important and valuable to both yourself and others Level 5 – Create a legacy But like any game, Life sets everyone at a different starting line – some are more privileged than others, some are luckier than others. Everyone has the power to change how their lives pan out, though most of us think we have no power and control over anything in our lives. 5 key principles to understand Life will give us unlimited amount of difficult and unexpected problems We can respond with either (1) devising a Solution or (2) succumbing to Distractions Just like anything, devising a Solution or succumbing to Distractions will get easier as we do more of either Solutions will get us to the next level while Distractions will keep us stuck on the same level The formula to winning at Life is simple: (1) identify Solutions & Distractions (2) remove Distractions (3) keep devising Solutions (4) Level Up and win But it’s not easy to apply the formula As we Level Up, Life doesn’t get easier, it just gets more fulfilling and satisfying when we continue devising Solutions instead of succumbing to Distractions and ultimately, win by creating a legacy There are also 5 cheat codes (or strategies) to make our choices of “devising Solutions” easier than picking “succumbing to Distractions” instead I am responsible for everything Write down the distractions Stop fucking complaining Stop fantasising (and fucking do) Share my shame (acknowledge flaws, lay them bare and fix them) Ending quote “The difficulty is not winning, but knowing what winning itself means. Because that’s the real challenge: deciding what our own life is worth and then having the courage to go out and live it.” 52:14 – Vance’s article on Medium – What is Friendship? (https://byrslf.co/what-is-friendship-f4a418b56258) 1:01:00 – Timothy’s article on Medium – Why We Should Find a Hobby (https://medium.com/@timertee/why-we-should-find-a-hobby-b9273855c70a)

SHOW NOTES 2:00 – Vance’s article of the week – How to be human (http://www.theverge.com/2017/3/19/14974046/how-to-be-human-confidence-compassion-empathy) 14:15 – Vance’s article on Medium – Why is ageing scary (https://thecoffeelicious.com/why-is-ageing-scary-522e984a9467)

Show Notes: For our first official episode (unofficially 11th), we talk about articles/ideas that made us smarter this week.