A person struggling with an addiction, contrary to what many in a faith-based belief system may think… is not the same as a prodigal son, or an evil person. Though their behavior may align with dishonesty or wickedness at times. They’re being tormented by evil, as much as their behavior is causing pain and torment, sorrow and damage in the lives around them.

The cycles of addiction are rarely (as in the case of the Prodigal Son in Luke chapter 15), a situation of leaving the home once…and then returning to loved ones and family for permanent restoration, with gifts and a party to celebrate! As was the case in that story.

Receiving someone back into the home over and over with gifts and a celebration isn’t always wise when addiction is active. This is a situation unique to any of our usual problem solving, people relating skills. It requires lots of wisdom, patience, compassion, and the courage to set healthy boundaries as we work out our patterns of responding.

It’s a process.

SUD and addiction are complex.

How the condition began… whether trauma, injury, experimenting or whatever the situation from which it first ignited… all are unique and complicated. No two stories are exactly alike.

Upon realizing the tornado of substance abuse was resident in my home, I can remember in desperation turning to leaders of our church, who were clearly at a loss. Yet several gave one-line answers regarding parenting, discipline, and directing me to the promises of Scripture that applied to sickness or the “sin” of our ordeal.

I often sensed judgment for a lack of faith, and an attitude that a lack of “righteousness” was probably the root cause of our struggle. Where might we (me especially) have got it wrong to incur such terrible consequence?

Never mind that John 9:2 describes a man who was sick and those wondering which sin in the family caused it were rebuked that it was for God’s glory…

Never mind Job’s friends, known as “miserable comforters,” pronouncing fault on him for his own suffering, and God rebuked those friends Job 42:7-17 directing Job to pray for them as part of his healing and restoration…

Blame and misjudgment are prevalent in many church settings. What those dynamics have in common with the unchurched world is that they solve no problems and do no good.

Safe, respectful accountability and kind, productive truth speaking are not the same as blame, accusation, mis-judgment and condemnation.

Not even close.

We get it so wrong in faith systems sometimes (I know I sure did, I believed my fair share of condemning notions!), we miss great opportunities to bind up one another’s wounds and offer hope, support, guidance, and healing.

The good news is that with awareness and mindfulness, we can elevate in this area and do better.

1 Corinthians 13 says “Love does not fail.” (Love can be healthy and self-respecting).

Shame shrinks hope, wisdom and kindness open hearts.

Faith, hope and love,

Annie

Lisa Romano, Breakthrough Life Coach

The Unhooked Podcast By Annie HighwaterDec 20, 2018