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The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling

The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling

By Anthony Keetch

Patriot, author of best-selling Satanic chillers, proud nudist, and upstanding subject of Her Majesty. What the uncouth call a 'blog,' I like to think of as an epistle to my apostles
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Sir Desmond Stirling in Dread Rocks Holiday episode 2

The Gospel According to Sir Desmond StirlingApr 18, 2021

00:00
11:55
Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 3

Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 3

Christmas stocking? More like Christmas shocking!


Is the late Reverend Maestri really haunting Scarhelldeath Hall? If so, what will it take to expunge his ghostly ghastly presence?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Dec 17, 202324:25
Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 2

Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 2

Sir Desmond Stirling has awoken to find a glowing monstrosity in front of him. Is it really the spectre of The Reverend Dougal Maestri returned from beyond the grave to exact revenge? Is Sir Desmond's bottom safe from the swish of the spook's cane?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Dec 17, 202319:55
Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 1

Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling - horror author and bon vivant - returns to his alma mater in the sleepy Scottish village of Kilcarcass to hand out prizes. But he finds something even worse than Latin prep and cold porridge - a ghost!


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and perfomed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Dec 13, 202327:36
The Nuns of Gavarone

The Nuns of Gavarone

Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author of Satanic chillers - discusses the uncanny legend of the Nuns of Gavarone...



Written and Performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

May 23, 202307:20
Trailer

Trailer

Sir Desmond Stirling opens himself up to you all. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch. (c) Anthony Keetch 2023
May 13, 202300:56
The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling

The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling

Sir Desmond Stirling opens himself up to you. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch
May 05, 202300:46
Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 8 - the thrilling conclusion!

Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 8 - the thrilling conclusion!

The Coves in Black episode 8 - the nail-biting conclusion!

Sir Desmond and the Major are seemingly prisoners in the secret base underneath Whitehall. Our hero has had enough of being baffled - he demands answers! But will he get them? Will we?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Mar 08, 202316:54
Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 7

Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 7

The Coves in Black episode 7!

Who has barged uninvited into Sir Desmond’s bathroom? Is his personal privacy a thing of the past now? And the people of Quigley Godfrey…? Where on Earth - or indeed off Earth - are they, and are they all having their bottoms probed?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Mar 05, 202313:28
Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 6

Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 6

The Coves in Black episode 6!

We last left Sir Desmond under attack from the Coves in Black. Has he survived? Has he been abducted by aliens again? Is his posterior unscathed?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

c) Anthony Keetch 2023

#podcast #ufo #alienabduction #covesinblack

Mar 02, 202312:40
Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 5

Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 5

The Coves in Black episode 5!

Atop the Devil’s Ballsack, Sir Desmond confronts both Mavis Peebles and the Coves in Black! But which can he trust?

And what’s that in the sky…?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Feb 27, 202322:31
Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 4

Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 4

Who are the Coves in Black?

Where is Quigley Godfrey?

Who is Mavis Peebles?

What is the Devil's Ballsack?

Will Sir Desmond find the answers to these questions? Will he tell us if he does?  


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Feb 24, 202317:08
Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 3

Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 3

Sir Desmond has learned under hypnosis that he was kidnapped and rudely probed by aliens!

Now he wants answers... but from whom?

And who are the Coves in Black who are following him?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Feb 21, 202311:44
Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 2

Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 2

Hypnotised by the strange Professor Tintenfisch, Sir Desmond Stirling relives that fateful night... but will he like what he finds...?


WARNING: Contains scenes of uninvited rectal rummaging.


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023



Feb 19, 202311:29
Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 1

While drunkenly staring at the sky one night to see a meteor storm, Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling scribe of spine-tingling yarns - has a disquieting flashback to something disturbing… but what? What on earth could possibly spook a war hero like that?

If it was from Earth…

Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2023

Feb 17, 202318:47
What the Dickens?!

What the Dickens?!

Sir Desmond Stirling - author, playboy and ambassador for nudism - anticipates the annual Christmas visit of those tiresome and self-righteous ghosts.



Sir Desmond Stirling Is written and performed by Anthony Keetch 

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022


Dec 18, 202205:50
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 6 - the conclusion!

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 6 - the conclusion!

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas

Episode 6 - the bowel-clenching conclusion!

(A Derek Playfair Mystery)


Christmas 1971:

The full horror has been revealed - and it isn’t Mother Goose’s bloomers.

Do we all face a world of dread and fear? Can theatrical agent and playboy Derek Playfair save the world from the clanging chimes of doom?



Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 11, 202215:44
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 5

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 5

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas

Episode 5

(A Derek Playfair Mystery)


Christmas 1971:

Oh no, he isn’t..?!

Oh yes, he is!

But what…?


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 08, 202209:10
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 4

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 4

Christmas 1971:

The First Night of Mother Goose is nigh. But will anyone survive to see the Second Night…? 


It’s not just the critics who are out for blood…



Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 06, 202217:14
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 3

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 3

Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent, trendy playboy & fearless adventurer - is about to watch the Dress Rehearsal. But a Dress Rehearsal for what…?

Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 04, 202212:40
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 2

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 2

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 2

Episode 2 of this Yuletastic shiverfest from infamous horror yarnsmith, Sir Desmond Stirling!

Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent by day, trendy playboy by night, and fearless adventurer by nature - senses something is wrong in the seaside town of Heelmouth.

Who is Northfield Loveday?

Is his magic just tricks - or are they for real?

Chippy or the Wimpy for supper?

Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 03, 202212:36
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 1

(A Derek Playfair Adventure)

Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent, trendy playboy & fearless adventurer - is visiting the seaside resort of Heelmouth to see his client in the title role of Mother Goose.

But it’s not just the weather outside which is frightful…

Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Dec 03, 202213:07
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Hallowe’en

Sir Desmond Stirling’s Hallowe’en

Sir Desmond reminisces about a Hallowe’en past


written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Oct 31, 202203:10
Who The Hell Is Sir Desmond Stirling?

Who The Hell Is Sir Desmond Stirling?

Sir Desmond Stirling - world-renowned wordsmith - has decided to open a crack in his carapace and let you all in.


This episode serves as an introduction to those who - shame on you - dont know who he is `(for which there’s absolutely no excuse unless maybe you have a medical reason, but this requires a note from your GP.)


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch 

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Sep 02, 202208:25
Sir Desmond Stirling: Evil - Yay or Nay?

Sir Desmond Stirling: Evil - Yay or Nay?

Sir Desmond Stirling: Evil - Yay or Nay?


Acclaimed yarnsmith of Satanic chillers, Sir Desmond Stirling, ponders the existence of evil.


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch


Warning: contains Evil.


(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Apr 20, 202208:02
A Long Day’s Journey Into Knighthood

A Long Day’s Journey Into Knighthood

Sir Desmond Stirling - horror author and nudist - wistfully recalls the events which led to his ennoblement and doomed fifth marriage.


Written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Mar 07, 202214:39
The Creepy Cottage of Chisel

The Creepy Cottage of Chisel

I was asked to contribute the following article to a worthy tome edited by an old school chum. Apologies for the crass language used within, but, frankly, my experiences with Chisel Films - the self-styled Creepy Cottge of Chisel - oft reduced me to a rather ‘blue’ vernacular)

Chisel Films
From ‘You Never Had It So Bad: British Horror Films of the 50s & 60s’ edited by Henry Burge (Professor of Movie Studies, Greenford Polytechnic)


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & perf by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Feb 24, 202210:12
Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Night With a Bender

Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Night With a Bender

Sir Desmond Stirling rummages in his archives and retrieves a restaurant review he wrote for a 1971 issue of Manly Monthly in which he discovers the delights of the Wimpy Bar!


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022 

Feb 09, 202208:54
A-ha! Gym lad!

A-ha! Gym lad!

Sir Desmond Stirling - author and bon viveur - tells us about the new gymnasium he has discovered in London's fashionable Old Compton Street.



Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Feb 08, 202203:50
Abaddon’s of London

Abaddon’s of London

Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author of spooky yarns and Bon viveur - waxes lyrical about his gentleman’s club - Abaddon’s of London.


Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2022

Feb 02, 202206:13
Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol: The Next Day

Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol: The Next Day

Did the three self-righteous Ghosts visit Sir Desmond as they usually do on Christmas Eve?


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keech 2021

Dec 25, 202102:54
Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol episode 1

Acclaimed author and nudist Sir Desmond Stirling tells us of his annual visits from three self-righteous ghosts.



Sir Desmond Stirling is wriiten and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Dec 23, 202106:55
While Writers Drank Their Plonk By Night…

While Writers Drank Their Plonk By Night…

Sir Desmond Stirling - acclaimed yarnsmith - reminisces about literary Christmas parties in days of yore.

Warning: contains anecdotes about disgraceful behaviour. If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this podcast, please consult your local exorcist.

Written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Dec 22, 202103:05
Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 5

Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 5

The final installment of Sir Desmond Stirling's creepy chiller for Christmas?

What will Boxing Day bring for Charles? The hangover from hell - or Hell itself!? Will his fiendish enemy reveal themself - even more than in their current state of nudity? And whose side is Dr Wimpybar really on?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Dec 13, 202114:48
Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 4

Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 4

The latest chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's Noel Goredom!

Get your manservant to draw up your favourite armchair in front of the fire, pour you some whisky, and simultaneously warm and chill your bones.



Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Antony Keetch 2021


Dec 08, 202120:36
Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 3

Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 3

Sir Desmond Stirling's Yuletide chiller continues....


Will Charles avoid being grabbed by the gargoyles? Ad what awaits him at stately Daryl Hall?


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Dec 05, 202116:07
Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 2

Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 2

Episode 2 of the latest festive fearfest from the World's Greatest Teller of Terrifying Tales - Sir Desmond Stirling!


Charles finds out that he is doomed to hellish oblivion and he isn't very happy about it... 


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021



Dec 03, 202114:31
Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 1

Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 1

The latest frightful Yuletide chiller from the master yarnsmith, Sir Desmond Stirling.

Listen to the opening chapter as Simon, Viscount de Bourbon a Bisquit, sets off on what he thinks will be a relaxing Christmas in the country...

"The Sven Hassel of Horror!" TitBits 1973


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021



Dec 01, 202119:26
Sir Desmond Stirling's SATAN BABY episode 4

Sir Desmond Stirling's SATAN BABY episode 4

The final bowel-freezing chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's festive shocker SATAN BABY!   


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch   

(c) Anthony Keetch 2020

Nov 15, 202108:04
Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 3

Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 3

The third hair-raising chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's bloodcurdling serial for Christmas SATAN BABY.       



Written& Performed by Anthony Keetch   

(c) Anthony Keetch 2020

Nov 15, 202107:57
Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 2

Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 2

The second chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's festive fear-fest SATAN BABY as read by the old Master himself.     



Written and performed by Anthony Keetch   


(c) Anthony Keetch 2020

Nov 15, 202113:00
Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 1

Sir Desmond Stirling, acclaimed author of Satanic chillers, reads the first chapter of his spooky yarn for Yuletide.


Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch

Nov 15, 202109:54
Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Fifteenth Birthday!

Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Fifteenth Birthday!

Sir Desmond Stirling - acclaimed author of Satanic chillers - recalls the events of his fifteenth birthday and the unusual gift he received from his Uncle Bertram (ye, that one, the journalist renowned for his notorious ’In Which We Perve’ column in Tit-Bits magazine).


Written & performed by Anthony Keetch


(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Nov 07, 202105:08
Sir Desmond Stirling's The Film of My Life

Sir Desmond Stirling's The Film of My Life

Sir Desmond Stirling - war hero and acclaimed yarnsmith of the macabre - ponders who would play him in a film of his life.


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Oct 27, 202103:18
Sir Desmond Stirling in Blyton Rock

Sir Desmond Stirling in Blyton Rock

Sir Desmond recalls the time when he so nearly collaborated with a famous children's author.


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Sep 24, 202105:44
Sir Desmond Stirling in 'Nude With Pencil'

Sir Desmond Stirling in 'Nude With Pencil'

Sir Desmond Stirling, acclaimed author and proud nudist, remembers the day when - both trouserless and legless - he may quite possibly have been persuaded to partake in an early film which championed the delights of nudism.


Written and perfomed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Sep 17, 202105:24
Sir Desmond Stirling ponders old age

Sir Desmond Stirling ponders old age

A luncheon date with his ailing publisher Archie Space-Oddity puts Sir Desmond in a reflective mood


Written & perfomed by Anthony Keetch


(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Sep 15, 202102:18
Sir Desmond Stirling in Scarhelldeath Hall

Sir Desmond Stirling in Scarhelldeath Hall

Sir DesmondSstirling - acclaimed purveyor of spooky yarns - reminisces about his schoodays.


Written and performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) Anthony Keetch 2021

Sep 03, 202103:00
Stirling on the Box!

Stirling on the Box!

Sir Desmond Stirling, acclaimed author of best-selling Satanic yarns, recalls his early appearances on television - including the now notorious BBC2 programme for men called 'manhood!'


Written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) 2021

Aug 19, 202104:36
Sir Desmond Stirling: Hampton Uncaught

Sir Desmond Stirling: Hampton Uncaught

Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author and bon vivant - relates the story of his less-than-successful foray into running a nudist colony.

Aug 02, 202106:25
Black Magic: a Gateway to Beastliness!

Black Magic: a Gateway to Beastliness!

Sir Desmond Stirling - acclaimed author of spooky yarns - recalls his first encounter with the Dark Side at a seemingly innocent orgy in London's fashionable Hanwell...



Written & performed by Anthony Keetch

(c) 2021

Jul 24, 202107:55