TonioTimeDaily
By Antonio Myers
TonioTimeDailyMar 19, 2024
The nuances of “conflicts of interest” also known as “competing interests.”
I get to be a sensory-friendly intimacy coordinator, a sensory-friendly intimacy director, and a sensory-friendly intimacy choreographer in television, movies, erotica, and pornographic films.
Reduced Noise: Lowering background music, eliminating beeping noises, and providing noise-canceling headphones.
Softer Lighting: Dimming the lights, avoiding fluorescent overhead lights, and adding lamps for a warm glow.
Calming Colors: Using muted and neutral colors on walls and decor.
Reduced Visual Clutter: Minimizing distractions and keeping things organized.
Designated Quiet Spaces: Offering quiet areas to decompress and regain composure.
Sensory Tools: Providing weighted blankets, fidgets, or other tools for self-regulation.
Auditory (Sound): Difficulty tolerating loud noises, background music, or multiple people talking.
Visual (Sight): Sensitivity to bright lights, fluorescent lights, flashing lights, or busy patterns.
Tactile (Touch): Dislike of certain textures, tags on clothing, or tight-fitting clothes.
Olfactory (Smell): Aversion to specific scents or strong odors.
Proprioceptive (Movement): Difficulty with balance, coordination, or a sense of body awareness.
Interoceptive (Internal body sensations): Sensitivity to hunger, thirst, needing to use the bathroom, or body temperature." _What Does Sensory Friendly Mean? (getgoally.com).
"An intimacy coordinator, sometimes called an intimacy director,[1] is a member of a film or television crew who ensures the well-being of actors and actresses who participate in sex scenes or other intimate scenes in theater, film and television production. Intimacy coordinators work closely with directors, movement directors, and choreographers to help plan out intimate scenes with the actors and other crew members.[2]
The role of intimacy coordinator is not to be confused with that of an "intimacy choreographer", who specializes in the techniques of staging intimate scenes.[5]" -Wikipedia.
“As a future sensory-friendly intimacy coach, I am for sensory-friendly mainstream pornography, sensory-friendly ethical pornography, sensory-friendly independent pornography, sensory-friendly feminist pornography, sensory-friendly sex-positive pornography, and sensory-friendly alternative pornography.” -Antonio Myers.
I have the spiritual gift of celibacy, and I have the spiritual gift of marriage.
Many women and I were talking about the serial cheating of our childhoods.
My serial womanizing traumatized the black women, the autism moms, the single mothers, and the church women when I painfully informed them of the Rape Trauma Syndrome-inspired promiscuity of my past.
We talked about the male misogyny-inspired promiscuity in their families in the form of serial cheating.
"Serial cheating simply means that someone has cheated on a partner more than once." -Verywellmind.
My family man promises to my grandma before she transitioned from Earth.
In the past, I was encouraged to be a family man to a single, black, autism mom, church member. Black women, autism moms, single mothers, & church women pursue me much more than other kinds of women.
"If the learning curve about autism is not shared, the divide can start here. Or it can start when the child doesn’t run up to daddy when he walks through the door at the end of the day. The mother feels guilty that she has done something wrong. Maybe dad feels rejected. Is this the cause for divorce? Or is it that the spouses already do not have an effective communication and commitment in place? Is one partner less committed to the marriage to begin with? Maybe someone read that autism causes divorce and the message deteriorates the confidence and strength we actually need in our relationships? These are but some of the questions that need to be asked prior to assuming that autism is the reason for higher divorce rates." -
A Single Mom's View of Autism Divorce Rates — THINKING PERSON'S GUIDE TO AUTISM (thinkingautismguide.com).
"The percentages of black marriages ending in divorce for the survey respondents was 47.9%. Again, this was the highest among the respondents. Next, was the Hispanic category at 45.5% of first marriages ending in divorce. Last, we have the All Other with the lowest percentage of first marriages ending in divorce. The percentage for “All Others” was 43.7%."-8 Important Black Marriage and Divorce Metrics - Black Statistics.
"Black women divorce at a higher rate (38.9%) than women of any other race." -Divorce Rate in America: 50+ Divorce Statistics [Updated 2024].
"Don't Pass Judgment
It's easy to come in from the outside and judge another person's parenting choices, and single mothers often face scrutiny for having children outside of a traditional married couple.5
This behavior will not be welcomed or healthy for your relationship. Instead of passing judgment, do your best to acknowledge that being a single parent is very difficult, and try to view their choices and lifestyle from a place of helpfulness, compassion, restraint, and curiosity." _
Tips for Dating a Single Mom (verywellmind.com).
"But single Christians make up a large proportion of Christians, especially in their twenties and thirties. And single women are disproportionately represented, since women outnumber men in the church already.
One of the big reasons single women are often ostracized is that they are viewed as threats to men.
Men can’t look at single women because they have to “bounce their eyes” so they don’t stray.
Jesus didn’t act that way. Jesus didn’t ignore women or avoid women. Jesus sat in situations that would be socially unacceptable because He wanted people to see that He valued women as people–not as sexual commodities. He didn’t see them as threats to Him. He saw them as valuable individuals." -by Sheila Wray Gregoire.
The complexities of relationships and dynamics concerning my reasons for my earthly existence.
I am called to cable news media, social media, media interviews, media events, black-owned media, YouTube, & running for public office due to the neurodiversity urging of autism families in dire need.
The word neurodiversity refers to the diversity of all people, but it is often used in the context of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), as well as other neurological or developmental conditions such as ADHD or learning disabilities. The neurodiversity movement emerged during the 1990s, aiming to increase acceptance and inclusion of all people while embracing neurological differences. Through online platforms, more and more autistic people were able to connect and form a self-advocacy movement. At the same time, Judy Singer, an Australian sociologist, coined the term neurodiversity to promote equality and inclusion of "neurological minorities." While it is primarily a social justice movement, neurodiversity research and education is increasingly important in how clinicians view and address certain disabilities and neurological conditions." _
What is neurodiversity? - Harvard Health. “I am also called to do jury duty, be a television presenter, awards show host, creative executive, game show host, show/program creator, news director, show runner, executive producer, talk show host, and radio personality.” -Antonio Myers.
I have a pastor’s heart within my faith-based pastoral care…& I’ll be a secular humanist chaplain. I am called to the non-religious community and to houses of worship of all religions.
There are various ways to practice pastoral care, including:
Premarital counseling: Premarital counseling helps to prepare couples for unity in marriage. Pastors may recommend Bible verses, books, articles, and discussion topics for couples to review and pray about as they plan their life together.
Weddings: Pastors performing weddings play the special role of celebrating and instituting a covenant relationship.
Hospital visits: Visits to hospitals and care facilities can help those who are sick or injured to feel supported and remembered by their church family.
Funerals: By facilitating funerals and caring for individuals and families in the grieving process, church leaders share the burdens of those experiencing the loss of human life.
Serving the community: Church leaders can lead their congregation in providing food, clothing, and other material needs—as well as community services and gatherings—for local neighbors. In meeting with and listening to the community, churches can better connect, share the gospel, and partner with their neighbors.
Birth and adoption celebrations: Meeting new parents with practical assistance like meals, diapers, financial resources, and childcare can help families care well for their children. Sustained support along the journey of parenting is another way that pastoral care can support families for long-term thriving.
Spiritual direction: This pastoral care practice involves prayerful companionship and discipleship that points a person to scripture and fosters spiritual growth. -https://calvinseminary.edu/blog/difference-pastoral-care-counseling/. “What is a Humanist Chaplain?
A Humanist Chaplain is a secular clergy person who provides comfort, guidance, and emotional support without relying on any religious doctrine or dogma. They also strive to promote reason, ethics, and compassion in the lives of those they serve. Humanist Chaplains usually have a staff position at universities, hospitals, prisons, or other settings where chaplains are typically present.
Why is the Role of Humanist Chaplain Important?
The role of a Humanist Chaplain is crucial as they provide emotional and moral support to individuals who identify as nonreligious (or anyone who wants it, regardless of their beliefs). They serve as a comforting presence offering guidance and counseling in times of crisis, grief, or ethical dilemmas. Their work helps to foster a sense of community and belonging among people who may feel isolated or misunderstood because of their secular beliefs. Humanist Chaplains contribute significantly to the diversity and inclusivity of moral and spiritual perspectives in society.” -https://nathanbweller.com/what-is-a-humanist-chaplain/.
Addressing all subjects from human rights perspectives: my secular spirituality, my spiritual gifts.
The logistics of my family man life and the logistics of my callings are always butting heads.
I was forced to spend most of my boyhood time (5 years old-6 years old) in the infamous red-light district Washington D.C. (14th Street NW, Logan Circle.) due to the women sex workers' "thing" for me.
Most of my sex partners in my past were mothers of autistic children, single mothers, white women, and women in their 40's and 50's.
Biblical black folks (final episode on The Bible.) Jesus, the child advocate and women’s advocate.
From Genesis to Revelation there is a great deal of proof that blacks are present throughout the Bible:
In the Hebrew, Adam (or Ahdahm) is defined as swarthy, dusky, reddish-brown soil, dark-skinned like a shadow. Aphar: The soil from which Adham was made, meaning: dust, clay, always very black or very dark brown in color. (The Biblical History of Black Mankind by C. McGhee Livers)
The Garden of Eden was described in Genesis as having been near a four-river system in the region of the lands of Cush, Havilah, and Asshur, which today would be near the borders of Eastern Sudan, Ethiopia, and Eritrea. The birthplace of humanity was confirmed when the oldest human remains were found in Ethiopia in 1974. Science and the Bible are often at odds, but one thing both confirm is that the birthplace of humanity was in East Africa. (Eden: The Biblical Garden Discovered in East Africa by Gert Muller)
Many of the Hebrew patriarchs married or had children with women from African tribes. Abraham had children with Hagar and Keturah both from African (Hamitic) tribes. Moses married Zippora, who was Ethiopian. Jacob had children with two handmaidens from African tribes, and these children became the patriarchs of two tribes of Israel. Studying the black presence in the Bible can open the door to discussions about racial justice and dispel the myth that the Bible is the "white man's book." It is this myth that has kept many people of color from the gospel. By whitewashing the Bible, we prevent future generations from experiencing the beauty of the biblical text. Black people should know that they have always played a central role in God’s plan for humanity and were not an afterthought of the creator.” -https://sojo.net/articles/faith-action/black-presence-bible-uncovering-hidden-ones.
The painful reasons why I do not attend any houses of worship & why I avoid some secular establishments.
•Education
•Electricity
•Emergency services
•Environmental protection
•Health care
•Military
•Public buildings
•Public libraries
•Public parks
•Public policy
•Public utilities
•Public transportation
•Social services
•State schools
•Telecommunications
•Transportation infrastructure
•Urban planning
•Waste management
•Water supply network. Many people will place their condominiums above me." -Antonio Myers.
I follow Jesus who is black, person of color, neurodiverse, neurodivergent, autistic, Jewish, refugee, immigrant, flirt, husband, father, dancer, social drinker, life of the party, and party animal.
In short, maybe these two liked each other.
Give me some water, says Jesus. Clear enough. He wants the wet liquid. You’re a Jew, she answers. Theological. She’s stalling. If only you knew, I’d give you living water, he says. Wait a minute – all of a sudden we’re not exactly talking about H2O anymore. Give me some of that living water that ends thirst, says the woman, and I won’t need to haul it up the hill. Making fun of Jesus and his flipping back and forth…just a little. Water, water, water, and water, but not the same meaning each time. Literal, figurative, symbolic, real – lots of the double entendres that are characteristic of flirting, and all in only a couple of verses!” -https://unsettledwords.com/2014/03/21/did-jesus-flirt/. Congratulations to us: podcasts.feedspot.com/inappropriate_podcasts/
The DEIB Jesus (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging) is The Christ figure to me. He's for Egalitarianism and equalitarianism.
The sexual assaults against Jesus, the bodily harm against Jesus, Biblical misogyny, & Biblical people with disabilities.
Outlining compelling reasons for viewing Jesus as a victim of sexual abuse, it examines why this unsettling aspect of the narrative has remained ‘hidden in plain sight’ for so long, and what place it might have in discussions of rape culture past and present. It also asks whether other acts of sexual violence and rape might have happened during the mockery in the praetorium, or even on the cross itself. It argues that although the acknowledgement of this ‘unspeakable violence’ is deeply disturbing, breaking the silence can nonetheless have constructive consequences.
In addition to offering a more historical understanding of crucifixion, this book illuminates positive new aspects of resurrection, making it a probing read for scholars of biblical studies and for those interested in the interplay of religion and violence.” -https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/oa-mono/10.4324/9780429289750/crucifixion-jesus-david-tombs.
I 💯 promise to never ever again by erotically reckless, sensually reckless, and sexually reckless.
•careless
•thoughtless
•incautious
•heedless
•unheeding
•inattentive
•hasty
•overhasty
•precipitate
•precipitous
•impetuous
•impulsive
•daredevil
•devil-may-care
•hotheaded
•irresponsible
•wild
•foolhardy
•headlong
•underadventurous
•overadventurous
•over-venturesome
•under-venturesome
•audacious
•death-or-glory
•ill-advised
•injudicious
•misguided
•harebrained
•madcap
•imprudent
•unwise
•ill-considered
•unconsidered
•ill-conceived
•unthinking
•indiscreet
•mindless
•negligent
•tearaway
•harum-scarum
•bull-in-a-china-shop. I do not condone any part of my sexual past at all whatsoever.” -Antonio Myers.
Autism presence in The Bible
“So, here are 10 more signs he was not a neurotypical: Non-conformist Dislike of authority and hierarchy Low regard of tradition Disregard of social rules High in honesty and humility Highly egalitarian Highly out-group social Stands up for the bullied and underdogs Very accepting of diversity in general (liberal) Non-materialistic and idealistic. In the style of popular blog posts, here are my favourite 10 indications that Jesus was on the spectrum: He went missing as a child and was found debating with wise men He had a temper tantrum/meltdown in the temple To her face, he called his mum “Woman” (lack of social etiquette and empathy) He had an encyclopedic knowledge of scripture (special interest) Had no respect for authority. In fact, he changed the authoritarian God of the Old Testament into a loving and forgiving God “I am not of this world (John 8:23) — wrong planet syndrome Frequent fasting: might have been a sign of gastrointestinal problems total isolation from society (“into the desert”) He slept less: “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” His father (Joseph) was originally believed to be elderly when he married Mary and wasn’t alive by the time Jesus was a young adult (only accompanied by his mother).” -Andreas Hofer.
The full humanity of Jesus
Joseph: A Male Sexual Abuse Survivor In The Bible by Ashley Easter (my final church episode.)
There is the well known story of Sodom and Gomorrah where the Angels, who were perceived to be men, were sexually harassed by the men of the city who wished to violently gang-rape them. Lott took them into his home for safety but tragically offered his daughters to be gang-raped instead. Thankfully the Angels did not allow the young women to be abused in this way. This story is nearly identical to the story of the gang-raped concubine in Judges 19 where the men of the city all gathered with violence on their minds. The only major difference is the concubine was a woman (not a man) and she was raped (not spared like the male Angels).
There were also practices in the Roman empire common in the New Testament times were boys and male slaves could be sexually abused by their owner, master, or benefactor without legal repercussion because they were of a lesser status (this is called pederasty). Some scholars believe that the greek words arsenokoitai and malakoi in 1 Corinthians 6:9 are specifically speaking out against these predatory practices of sexual abuse where a dominant, high status man (viewed as masculine by patriarchal society) would sexually abuse a young boy or slave (seen as “effeminate” because of their lesser power in their patriarchal society). (1)
I have mentioned before that Jesus, who came to earth as a man, experienced a form of sexual abuse on the cross as well. Forced stripping and forced public nakedness falls under the definition of sexual abuse.” -https://www.ashleyeaster.com/blog/male-sexual-abuse-survivor-in-the-bible.
The slimey grimey crime time (my last organized crime episode.)
Agitated
Anxious
Dramatic
Emotional
Excitable
Frenetic
Frightened
Hysterical
Insecure
Jittery
Labile
Melancholic
Moody
Nervous
Overemotional
Overwhelmed
Paranoid
Restless
Tense
Thin-skinned
Tremulous
Worrier
Arrogance and Superiority:
Arrogant
Boastful
Conceited
Haughty
Know-it-all
Narcissistic
Patronizing
Pretentious
Smug
Vain
Dishonesty and Deception:
Conniving
Deceitful
Disingenuous
Duplicitous
Liar
Mendacious
Shifty
Sneaky
Untrustworthy
Antisocial Behavior:
Abusive
Aggressive
Aloof
Anti-social
Belligerent
Brutal
Bullying
Criminal
Cruel
Destructive
Hostile
Jealous
Malicious
Manipulative
Ruthless
Sadistic
Violent
Judgemental and Close-Mindedness:
Bigoted
Dogmatic
Intolerant
Judgemental
Narrow-minded
Xenophobic
Inconsideration and Rudeness:
Abrasive
Blunt
Callous
Careless
Disrespectful
Inconsiderate
Insensitive
Rude
Tactless
Uncaring
Uncharitable
Unfriendly
Laziness and Irresponsibility:
Apathetic
Complacent
Indolent
Lazy
Procrastinator
Irresponsible
Undisciplined
Insecurity and Lack of Confidence:
Cowardly
Insecure
Timid
Unconfident
Pessimism and Negativity:
Bitter
Cynical
Negative
Pessimistic
Resentful
Sulky
Impulsiveness and Lack of Self-Control:
Compulsive
Impatient
Impetuous
Impulsive
Reckless
Immaturity and Childishness:
Foolish
Frivolous
Immature
Juvenile
Silly
Self-Centeredness:
Egocentric
Hedonistic
Self-centered
Self-destructive
Selfish
Odd and Strange Behavior:
Bizarre
Idiosyncratic
Odd
Strange. -https://prowritingaid.com/inspiration-decks/character-traits. All of these traits describe the criminals of my childhood.” Antonio Myers.
I have peace in my heart regarding the world of religion (my final episode on the faith community.)
The beauty of secularity (my final episode on the secular community.)
Verbal sex coaching adult films and non-verbal sex coaching adult films (last sex/porn/erotic episode.)
We are also saying that adult films need to show co-stars physically and innerly keeping each other from falling, from lacking erotic stability, and from having unbalanced/unrounded/unadjusted/non-unified sex. We decided to have audio, written, video/visual adult films that are corrective and curative for us.
So many adult films when it comes to us are not functioning properly, inoperable, in need of repair, in disrepair, out of order, disorderly conduct, gone haywire, out of whack, gone to pieces, on the fritz, on the blink, faulty, incoherent, unintelligible, mumbled, muttered, discontinuous, spasmodic, erratic, intermittent, irregular, shot, screwed up, ineffective, unsuccessful, not whole, not intact, not sound, internally crippled, and gone to pot. It is okay for adult film co-stars to ask each other, but more importantly, honor the most the favorites and least favorites of sexual needs, sexual desires, and the sexual dynamics. Sex had its own special effects, camera angles, camera shots, visual effects, sound effects, camera expressions, camera movements, and mechanical effects. When it comes to sex, the entire bodies and entire souls of the lovers are perfect to me. Entire body exploration in every which way and entire soul exploration in every which way are sexual necessities.” Antonio Myers.
The sexual past of both my pre-adolescence and my adolescence. Final episode on this topic.
Many women gave me mixed messages about sex, sexuality, romance, living arrangements, sensuality, dating, marriage, kids, pets, & eroticism.
Resolving and solving work-family conflict
When you have an inactive lifestyle,:
You burn fewer calories. This makes you more likely to gain weight.
You may lose muscle strength and endurance, because you are not using your muscles as much
Your bones may get weaker and lose some mineral content
Your metabolism may be affected, and your body may have more trouble breaking down fats and sugars
Your immune system may not work as well
You may have poorer blood circulation
Your body may have more inflammation
You may develop a hormonal imbalance. “How can I be more active around the house?
There are some ways you can be active around your house:
Housework, gardening, and yard work are all physical work. To increase the intensity, you could try doing them at a more vigorous pace.
Keep moving while you watch TV. Lift hand weights, do some gentle yoga stretches, or pedal an exercise bike. Instead of using the TV remote, get up and change the channels yourself.
Work out at home with a workout video (on your TV or on the internet)
Go for a walk in your neighborhood. It can be more fun if you walk your dog, walk your kids to school, or walk with a friend.
Stand up when talking on the phone
Get some exercise equipment for your home. Treadmills and elliptical trainers are great, but not everyone has the money or space for one. Less expensive equipment such as yoga balls, exercise mats, stretch bands, and hand weights can help you get a workout at home too.
How can I be more active at work?
Most of us sit when we are working, often in front of a computer. In fact, less than 20% of Americans have physically active jobs. It can be challenging to fit physical activity into your busy workday, but here are some tips to help you get moving:
Get up from your chair and move around at least once an hour
Stand when you are talking on the phone
Find out whether your company can get you a stand-up or treadmill desk
Take the stairs instead of the elevator
Use your break or part of your lunch hour to walk around the building
Stand up and walk to a colleague's office instead of sending an email
Have "walking" or standing meetings with co-workers instead of sitting in a conference room.” -https://medlineplus.gov/healthrisksofaninactivelifestyle.html. “I am applying all of this good advice to my life.” -Antonio Myers.
Many mothers of autistic children (Autism moms), many black women, and many church women are urging me to be their husband and father of their children.
“In the intersection of work and personal life, the work–life balance is the equilibrium between the two. There are many aspects of one's personal life that can intersect with work, including family, leisure, and health. A work–life balance is bidirectional; for instance, work can interfere with private life, and private life can interfere with work. This balance or interface can be adverse in nature (e.g., work–life conflict) or can be beneficial (e.g., work–life enrichment) in nature.[1] Recent research has shown that the work–life interface has become more boundary-less, especially for technology-enabled workers.[2][3][4][5]” -Wikipedia.
"When I read Dianne M. Stewart’s “Black Women, Black Love: America’s War on African American Marriage,” I felt seen in her descriptions of the systemic forces working against us. Stewart lays out the issue masterfully when she says, “Most heterosexual Black women in America today, whether parenting offspring or not, are single by circumstance, not by choice.” Stewart continues, “The trouble is not with Black women failing to value marriage; it is the shrinking demographic of those whom Black women want to marry . . . In some cases, Black women lack dating prospects within their socioeconomic group, and in other cases, they don’t have any dating prospects at all!”
She characterizes Black women’s lack of opportunities for love and marriage with Black men as “the nation’s most hidden and thus neglected civil rights issue to date.” Stewart provides the historical receipts that reveal Black love as a contested site in this nation and details the way that the “war on African American marriage” was waged in the past and present." _ Ekemini Uwan.
"I have always found the idea of blaming the autistic child for the deterioration of marriage unfair to autistic people. Yet, when my own marriage ended, I couldn’t help but wonder if any of those ideas behind the eighty per-cent divorce rates and autism might in some way be true.
A single mom of an autistic child for several years now, I’ve seen that when relationships fall apart, we begin by looking outside ourselves for the external causes to blame. No matter what the circumstance, illness, disability, death are the certainties of a full life. We make vows for better or for worse, even if most of us want the “better.” Frequent divorce seems to reflect the advent of the re-start button — an impatient, quickly gratified culture with many options at our fingertips, and a waning attention span. It’s perhaps an unforgiving view about what as I see as the marriage du jour — the one that bypasses commitment. Even so, two people who come together with the best of intentions (or delusions), sometimes cannot endure the stress when faced with life’s many challenges. This has nothing to do with autism.
Consider some of our flippant views about marriage and commitment against the last decade of autism in the media. The media and many in the medical field created an environment of fascination and fear about autism. Most parents relate to the panic we felt on the day of the official autism diagnosis. We heard and read that we had a six year window in which to cure our children. That is, we were told that if our children didn’t talk and lose those autism behaviors by the age of six, our children were doomed to be autistic for the rest of their lives. With such pressure, as individuals and couples, we can be extremely challenged. Coping with stress and even grief is different for all people. Press restart?
It shouldn’t come as a surprise, then, that autism is frequently blamed by some autism charities, and in the media, for divorce. When we blame something else other than ourselves, such as perpetuating the notion that autism is to blame, the innocent autistic child is targeted." _Estée Klar.
How do I meet my romantic needs & my sexual needs? Yes, I am still open to my autism mom companion.
Our clinical experience is that there are many benefits to being an autistic mother. These include creating a home environment where neurodiversity is accepted and admired, as well as encouraging knowledge, creativity, and originality in problem-solving. There is empathy for being bullied, teased, socially rejected and humiliated and a determination to prevent their autistic child having those experiences.
Autistic mothers ensure there is consistency and routine in daily activities and expectations. There is a preference for logic rather than obedience and seeking opportunities to boost their autistic child’s self-confidence. Autistic mothers can easily explain their autistic child’s social and sensory perception to peers and teachers and encourage an understanding and acceptance of autism that may not have been experienced in their childhood.” -By Professor Tony Attwood and Dr Michelle Garnett.
Final episode on the good parts of mainstream porn entities (human rights champion adult performers.)
This is business as usual when it comes to the treatment of porn performers in our society. Porn actors aren’t seen as worthy of respect.
As model Amber Rose told Marlow Stern, Senior Entertainment Editor of The Daily Beast:
“Porn stars are here for our convenience. Everyone uses them when they want to use them and then throws them away after. We don’t respect them enough.”
Stereotyped and stigmatized, porn performers are denied their humanity. It doesn’t make a difference that the stereotypes aren’t true.
Feminist porn director, Erika Lust, told Dazed:
“It’s often assumed that to be an adult performer you’re troubled, on drugs, have money problems and no self-esteem. Even though those cases certainly exist, it’s not a fair judgment to pass on to everyone who chooses to do adult films, and it’s not my experience at all.”
When society denies that porn performers are three-dimensional beings with the same needs and desires as other people, this creates a world in which it’s okay to deny them their rights.” -https://aninjusticemag.com/its-time-to-stop-the-unfair-violation-of-porn-performers-rights-3f9c9b153e87.
My final episode on porn etiquette
Researchers have gone back and forth on whether cisgender men’s and women’s brains differ in their responses to sexual imagery. The latest research appears to show that there’s no difference.
Either way, I know that the way I like to have sex has been shaped by watching porn, rather than, say, reading or listening to it.
Along with showing a variety of penetrative sex positions, the typical porn scene features an assortment of camera angles. These often focus on women’s butts, boobs, and vaginas, while minimizing shots of the men’s bodies other than their penis.
Male pornstars have talked about this: “You need to get yourself in uncomfortable positions, because it disconnects you from the scene. And it allows the audience to put themselves in.”
This has definitely distorted how I show up in the bedroom. It’s hard to imagine feeling pleasure if I closed my eyes or was wearing a blindfold.
Just like with the emphasis on penetration, focusing on vision is a narrow way to experience sex. There are sensations, sounds, words, tastes, smells, and who knows what else floating around the room.
In fact, a new study found that people who place more value on their sense of smell in romantic encounters consistently had a stronger sexual desire for their partners.
Fortunately, there are now a number of sites the feature audio porn. “Audio really stimulates someone’s inner life, their imagination, which is fertile ground for sexual fantasy,” writer and host of the “Why Are People Into That?!” podcast Tina Horn told Men’s Health. There’s also erotica, or written word porn.” -https://jeremymohler.medium.com/5-ways-porn-conditions-men-to-have-worse-sex-cc3bf4f6c777
Female misogynists within my youth (The Nice Girl Syndrome)
The Misogynistic Puritan takes the ideal woman to be domestic, subservient, nurturing, kind, mild-tempered, alluring, youthful, and sexually pure prior to marriage. She has adopted this feminine ideal from her misogynistic husband, family or acquaintances.
She takes herself to be pretty darn close to the feminine ideal. She is subservient, always standing behind her man as a solid pillar of support.
She hates women who deviate from the feminine ideal and takes it to be her life's mission to find ways to discipline them and ultimately get them on the "right track. The Misogynistic Self-Critic
The Misogynistic Self-Critic is disdainful toward women who are not very feminine, whether it’s because they choose not to be or because they are just bad at acting in a traditional way—for instance, women she takes to be too fat, too big, too masculine, too angry, too loud, too competitive, too hardcore, or too alpha.
She is in favor of traditional gender roles and will use any opportunity she gets to preach their social virtue. Men should be dominant alphas, women should be soft and compliant.
She may regard herself as one of the feminine misfits. The Misogynistic Self-Loather
The Misogynistic Self-Loather has adopted a general attitude of contempt toward every one of her own “filthy” kind, including herself.
She regards women, including herself, as promiscuous, manipulative, dishonest, irrational, incompetent or unintelligent.
She tends to be in denial about her own self-loathing but not usually about her contempt for other women.” -https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201908/12-ways-spot-female-misogynist.
Laius Complex, Parentification, Jocasta Complex, Phaedra Complex, Oedipus Complex, and Electra Complex.
and The Sexual Electra Complex.” -Antonio Myers.
Sexual acute trauma, sexual complex trauma, sexual chronic trauma, sexual secondary trauma, sexual vicarious trauma, sexual trauma bonding, and sexually adverse childhood experiences (SACEs.)
Two main factors involved in the establishment of a trauma bond are a power imbalance and intermittent reward and punishment.[2][1][5] Trauma bonding can occur within romantic relationships, platonic friendships, parent-child relationships, incestuous relationships, cults, hostage situations, sex trafficking (especially that of minors), or tours of duty among military personnel.[2][6]
Trauma bonds are based on terror, dominance, and unpredictability. As the trauma bond between an abuser and a victim strengthens, it can lead to cyclical patterns of conflicting emotions. Frequently, victims in trauma bonds do not have agency, autonomy, or an individual sense of self. Their self-image is an internalization of the abuser's conceptualization of them.[7]
Trauma bonds have severe detrimental effects on the victim. Some long-term impacts of trauma bonding include remaining in abusive relationships, adverse mental health outcomes like low self-esteem, negative self-image, an increased likelihood of depression and bipolar disorder, and perpetuating a generational cycle of abuse.[1][5][8][9] Victims who develop trauma bonds are often unable or unwilling to leave these relationships. Many abuse victims who experience trauma bonding return to the abusive relationship.[10][11]” -Wikipedia.
Double living also known as living a double life is cancerous to inner living and outer living.
My vocational singleness, my vocational child-freedom, my vocational pet-freedom, my vocational living alone.
Traumatic self-medication and fake relationships of my past. I 💯 revealed all of my past traumas.
The substances most widely used in self-medication are over-the-counter drugs and dietary supplements, which are used to treat common health issues at home. These do not require a doctor's prescription to obtain and, in some countries, are available in supermarkets and convenience stores.[1]
The field of psychology surrounding the use of psychoactive drugs is often specifically in relation to the use of recreational drugs, alcohol, comfort food, and other forms of behavior to alleviate symptoms of mental distress, stress and anxiety,[2] including mental illnesses or psychological trauma.[3][4] Such treatment may cause serious detriment to physical and mental health if motivated by addictive mechanisms.[5] In postsecondary (university and college) students, self-medication with "study drugs" such as Adderall, Ritalin, and Concerta has been widely reported and discussed in literature.[5]
Products are marketed by manufacturers as useful for self-medication, sometimes on the basis of questionable evidence. Claims that nicotine has medicinal value have been used to market cigarettes as self-administered medicines. These claims have been criticized as inaccurate by independent researchers.[6][7] Unverified and unregulated third-party health claims are used to market dietary supplements.[8]
Self-medication is often seen as gaining personal independence from established medicine,[9] and it can be seen as a human right, implicit in, or closely related to the right to refuse professional medical treatment.[10] Self-medication can cause unintentional self-harm.[11] Self-medication with antibiotics has been identified as one of the primary reasons for the evolution of antimicrobial resistance.[12]
Sometimes self-medication or DIY medicine occurs because patients disagree with a doctor's interpretation of their condition,[13] to access experimental therapies that are not available to the public,[14][15] or because of legal bans on healthcare, as in the case of some transgender people[16] or women seeking self-induced abortion.[17] Other reasons for relying on DIY medical care is to avoid health care prices in the United States[18] and anarchist beliefs.[19]” -Wikipedia
Final episode on monogamy, marriage, unmarried life partnerships: affair recovery & affair recuperation.
You might hear an affair being referred to as a romantic affair, an emotional affair, or even a cyber affair. Some people simply call it being unfaithful or cheating, though variations of the term "affair" have been adopted by some in consensually nonmonogamous relationships as well. Common types of affairs include the following.
Romantic Affair
Affairs may be romantic, which can be referred to as an "affair of the heart." Romantic affairs are commonly in the form of sexual liaisons that include some level of romance and emotional attachment.
When agreed to by both parties in a relationship, the term may also be used to describe a form of non-monogamy, though this is less common.
Casual Affair
A casual affair is most commonly considered a mainly physical sexual relationship between two people without the expectation of a more formalized romantic relationship. It may also be referred to as a "fling." Emotional Affair
A platonic or nonsexual relationship may also be considered an affair. An emotional affair lacks sexual intimacy but has intense or enduring emotional intimacy.
Emotional affairs can easily evolve into sexual affairs and be just as threatening to the primary relationship. Even when this type of affair doesn't cross the line into becoming physical, the impact can be just as detrimental. The intimacy involved in emotional affairs can often be deeper and more intense than the intimacy in a solely sexual affair.
Cyber Affair
An online or cyber affair is one that occurs online via chat, webcam, email, or text. It may be anonymous, or it may be between people who only know basic information about one another, such as their names, but have never met. Or it may occur online with someone the person knows in real life. Quite often, a cyber affair has emotional and/or sexual undertones.2 The partners involved in a cyber affair may never meet in person, but the emotional connection and often sensual nature of the affair can strain the committed relationships that one or both of the affair participants are in.
Sanctioned Affair
The term "affair" might also be used to describe part of an agreement within an open marriage or relationship. With a sanctioned affair, a couple agrees upon which forms of sex or emotional intimacy are permitted with someone other than their primary partner. These may include swinging, dating, polyamory, and ménages à trois or group sex.3
An open marriage or consensual nonmonogamy that works for both parties has to play by the rules that they agreed upon at the start. Otherwise, this type of affair is no longer "sanctioned." -https://www.verywellmind.com/marriage-affair-2303083
No safety in infidelity, the dangers of cheating in relationships (final affairs episode.)
Do men stray more than women?
Men have always been more likely than women to cheat, or at least to report having done so, but researchers have noticed a shift in recent years: 16 percent of adults—about 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women—report that they’ve had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. But among adults under 30 who have ever been married, 11 percent of women report having committed infidelity, as opposed to 10 percent of men.
Why do most people stay faithful?
As widespread as infidelity may be, a substantial majority of romantic partners do not stray. One recent survey found that the primary reason individuals remained faithful, not surprisingly, was that they were satisfied in their relationship. But the second-most-common reason was worry that cheating would make them feel guilty, and the third-most-cited reason was fear that their own partner would retaliate by cheating on them.
Why do some partners wrongly accuse each other of cheating?
Many couples struggle when one partner wrongly believes the other has been, or continues to be, unfaithful. But research into such dynamics finds that an individual’s belief that they are being betrayed tends to some extent to indicate that they themselves are having thoughts about someone outside their relationship. In other words, they were projecting their own wandering eye onto their partner.
Are there couples that embrace infidelity?
Many partners are in committed but open relationships, a cohort that demographic research finds to be growing. But a smaller group of couples embrace cuckolding, which typically involves a man encouraging his female partner to have sex with another man while he watches them, or is set up to happen upon them. Research finds that voyeurism, masochism, the thrill of the taboo, female empowerment, bisexuality, and misogyny may all play into this drive.” -Psychology Today.
(Final episode on these subjects) emotional maturity womanizing, emotional maturity manizing, and emotional maturity non-binary-izing.
"Here Are 10 Signs of Emotional Maturity:
1. Being Flexible- It’s all too easy to assume things will go according to plan, or that a situation or event will go smoothly because it has each time in the past. When it doesn’t (and that is often a “when” than an “if”), an emotionally mature person is able to think things out and come up with a viable Plan B or even C as needed so that a situation can be dealt with, and still move forward not letting the bump in the road ruin the entire plan.
2. Taking Ownership & Responsibility- An emotionally mature person is able to own up to their own mistakes and not immediately look to blame others. This takes a level of self-honesty and acceptance. If things keep on going wrong, an emotionally mature person will look inwards for answers as to what thoughts or actions may be contributing to the situation and works towards a better understanding and course of action moving forward.
3. Knowing That They Don’t Know Everything- An emotionally mature person knows what they don’t know, and also knows that their own way of doing things may not be the only way or even the best way. They don’t argue “just to be right” or to show dominance to be in charge. They keep an open mind and have open ears and eyes to look for situations where they may be able to learn something, as well as know when they may have something positive to contribute to a situation that can help others.
4. They Look for Learning and Growth From Every Opportunity- An emotionally mature person is on the lookout for what can be learned from any situation or opportunity, and searches for the growth opportunity within it, asking “How can I learn and grow from this?”
5. They Actively Seek Out Multiple Points of View To Help Inform Their Own- Emotionally mature people actively seek to inform their own opinions by actively seeking out the points of view of others. They don’t feel threatened by disagreement, but look to be informed by people, and aren’t afraid to question both their own convictions, knowing that they don’t exist in a vacuum. It’s not about an argument to prove who is right; it’s about wanting to be informed by different points of view to further clarify their own points of view, or recognizing that perhaps their point of view may even be wrong.
6. They Stay Resilient- In the face of upsets, setbacks, or disappointments, an emotionally mature person will acknowledge their feelings, identify what can be done, and then decide what steps to take to move on.
7. They Have a Calm Disposition- Emotionally mature people do get mad but do not let the emotion dictate their response. They aim to have a clear mind with the goal of having rationality dictate how to effectively deal with a situation and also see all of the available options to come to a successful resolution. They know that when emotions override rationality, clearness of thought gets blurred and can limit the options for dealing effectively.
8. They Believe in Themselves- Emotionally mature people don’t have a false sense of self that is ego-based and deluded. But they do have optimism in their own ability to use effort and patience as a way to establish the belief that they are equipped to deal with whatever life may through their way.
9. Approachability- Emotionally mature people are able to and prefer to talk WITH people, not AT them. They have genuine empathy for others, an open mind, and work towards not being judgmental of others, knowing that judgments are often based on preconceived notions can impede their ability to know someone and their truth.
10. A Good Sense of Humor– Emotionally mature people realize that all of life can’t be taken seriously. They do realize the importance of getting done what needs to get done, but they realize the importance of having fun and laughter in life as a great coping mechanism and pressure release from stress." -
10 Signs of Emotional Maturity - American Behavioral Clinics
Healthy monogamy, healthy unmarried life relationships, and healthy marriages.
For Tennov, sexual desire is an essential aspect of limerence[24] but the desire for emotional commitment is greater.[25] The sexual desires of Tennov's interviewees were overshadowed by their desire for their beloved to contact them, invite them out and reciprocate their passion.[26]
A central feature of limerence for Tennov was the fact that her participants really saw the object of their affection's personal flaws, but simply overlooked them or found them attractive.[27][28] Tennov calls this "crystallization", after a description by Stendhal in his 1821 treatise On Love. This "crystallized" version of a love object, with accentuated features, is what Tennov calls a "limerent object", or "LO".[29]” -Wikipedia
Rules for healthy womanizing, healthy man-izing, healthy non-binary-izing, healthy non-monogamy, and healthy promiscuity.
There are many reasons to desire an ethically non-monogamous relationship setup. These are just a few of them: The ability to explore one's sexuality: Sexuality can change over time, and it can take time for us to understand fully. For those who wish to explore their sexual identity by experimenting with people of a different gender than their partner, ENM makes sense because it doesn't require them to give up their relationship in order to become better in touch with their sexual identity.
Some relationships don't meet all of a person's needs: Expecting one human to fit perfectly with you and love everything you love is a lot of pressure. To alleviate this pressure, people who practice ENM have the freedom to look outside their relationship for others who may have similar sexual or romantic interests that their partner doesn't.
Enough love to go around: There are people who are capable of loving multiple people at once and who feel more satisfied in life when they are able to do that.” www.verywellmind.com/what-is-ethical-non-monogamy-5176515
Final episode of my being a Christian kid in the crime world (I mostly used the dictionary.)
My final episode on my compound childhood traumas (100% freestyled this episode.)
There are several different types of trauma, with differing consequences for mental health.
Acute trauma reflects intense distress in the immediate aftermath of a one-time event of short duration. The reaction itself is short-term, resolving on its own or with the help of counseling. A car crash, physical or sexual assault, the sudden death of a loved one, or even a medical emergency can create acute trauma.
Chronic trauma refers to the harmful effects of events that are repeated or prolonged. It can develop in response to persistent bullying, neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), and domestic violence. Because of its repeated nature and inescapability, chronic trauma often has serious mental health consequences for individuals.
Complex trauma can arise from experiencing repeated or multiple traumatic events of differing types from which there is no possibility of escape, such as repeated child abuse. The sense of being trapped is a feature of the experience. Like other types of trauma, it can undermine a sense of safety in the world and beget hypervigilance, and constant (and exhausting!) monitoring of the environment for the possibility of threat. Complex trauma experienced in childhood has been associated with the development of borderline personality disorder as well as PTSD.
Secondary, or vicarious, trauma arises from exposure to other people’s suffering and can strike those in professions that are called on to respond to injury and mayhem, notably physicians, first responders, and law enforcement. Over time, such individuals are at risk for compassion fatigue, whereby they avoid investing emotionally in other people in an attempt to protect themselves from experiencing distress.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) cover a wide range of difficult—and potentially traumatic—situations that children under the age of 17 either directly face or witness while growing up before they have developed effective coping skills. ACEs typically disrupt the nurturing bond between children and caregivers and can negatively affect the normal course of development; the emotional injury can last long into adulthood. The loss of a parent; neglect; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; and divorce are among the most common types of adverse childhood experiences. Research has shown that the more ACEs a person experiences, the greater their risk for future mental and physical health problems. Child health experts are increasingly attuned to checking for ACEs; it is believed that mitigating or preventing ACEs could prevent many future cases of depression, heart disease, and other common disorders.” -Psychology Today.
Final episode on crime (I freestyled most words) & I do discuss the womanizing & manizing in crime.
A womanizer is someone who has multiple sexual encounters or relationships with more than one woman on a regular basis. While single people can sometimes live this lifestyle without hurting anyone, womanizers may pose as wanting a monogamous relationship but lie to their partner about who they’re seeing on the side.
Sometimes, womanizers will lead women on, allowing them to think that they want something serious or are in love with them. In reality, the womanizer simply wants as many women as possible, whether for sex or just attention.” -WedMD. “What Is a Manizer?
A manizer is someone who has multiple sexual encounters or relationships with more than one man on a regular basis. While single people can sometimes live this lifestyle without hurting anyone, manizer may pose as wanting a monogamous relationship but lie to their partner about who they’re seeing on the side.
Sometimes, manizers will lead men on, allowing them to think that they want something serious or are in love with them. In reality, the manizer simply wants as many men as possible, whether for sex or just attention.” -Antonio Myers.
Final episode on my past serial womanizing out of trauma, and my mom’s brother's monstrous womanizing. I freestyled every word.
Callous sexual attitudes toward women
The belief that violence is manly
The experience of danger as exciting
They developed the Hypermasculinity Inventory (HMI) designed to measure the three components.[1] Research has found that hypermasculinity is associated with sexual and physical aggression towards women[2][3][4] and perceived gay men.[2] Prisoners have higher hypermasculinity scores than control groups.[5]” -Wikipedia.
Final episode of sexual sickness (sexual sociopathy and sexual psychopathy.) Sexual personality-disordered individuals exist. I used choosing therapy.com to help me out.
If you’re intimate with a sexual narcissist, you may chronically feel “not good enough,” regardless of how you perform sexually. You may develop a negative body image, have patterns of self-invalidation, and experience shame and low self-worth. Long-term, sex with a narcissist may lead to difficulty trusting future sexual partners, trauma symptoms, or even the development of PTSD.
Impacts of sex with a narcissist include:
Low self-esteem
Body image issues
Self-invalidation (e.g., telling yourself you’re selfish for having sexual needs)
Shame and secret-keeping from loved ones
Decrease in sexual desire (specifically with the sexual narcissist, or in general)
Consequences of blackmail
Difficulty trusting future sexual partners
Trauma symptoms and/or PTSD
How to Respond to Sexual Narcissism
How you respond to sexual narcissism depends largely on the nature of the relationship. Is this a one-night stand or a long-term relationship? Are you committed to this person or want to exit the relationship? As a rule of thumb, partners of sexual narcissists should be careful not to reinforce unwanted behaviors while engaging in sex; avoid giving the indication that the sexual narcissist’s behavior is wanted or enjoyable when possible (e.g., by moaning or smiling).
You may try setting boundaries around sex, in which case it’s important that you’re firm in asserting your needs, as wavering may invite a sexual narcissist to violate and push your limits. Name the unacceptable behavior clearly (“Do not choke me during sex”) and restate the assertion as many times is needed. If the sexual narcissist tries to make it about their needs (“But this is what turns me on”), redirect the attention back to yourself.
Boundaries are helpful with a sexual narcissist outside of the bedroom as well. Because sexual narcissists often cheat to avoid the intimacy and vulnerability that comes with a committed relationship, you may want to express to your partner your limits around infidelity. Individual therapy or couples counseling are both helpful resources for discussing sexual narcissists’ patterns and determining how and whether to proceed in the relationship.
Ultimately, it may be in your best interest to walk away, in which case it’s worth educating yourself on what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship. Regardless of how you choose to proceed, it’s important as a first step to consider your safety. Some sexual narcissists may become aggressive or retaliatory when confronted about their behavior.” -https://breakthesilencedv.org/9-signs-of-narcissistic-sexual-behavior/.