TonioTimeDaily
By Antonio Myers
TonioTimeDailySep 08, 2022
My special guest Teresa L'Heureux and I talk about her journey out of the darkness, thriving after domestic violence, through her faith, the love of her friends, and her furbabies.
"Teresa L’Heureux is a former competitive powerlifter/bodybuilder and a Survivor of Domestic Violence. As a Certified Personal Trainer, Teresa was always looking out for and motivating others first and putting herself last, and that had to change. Learning to put herself first was the catalyst on her path to find a new direction, mindset and a better way of life away from abuse. She writes about the heartache and despair of this journey, but the main focus is not sadness but incredible happiness! This book was written with the hope that others can dig deep and find the determination to gather strength from within… mind, body and spirit. She resides in Sacramento CA with her husband and partner since 2011, Cliff, and a menagerie of rescue huskies and cats of all shapes, sizes and attitudes!My Rock My Hard Place is Teresa’s journey from incredible darkness in her world, to the joyful light and delight that she now calls her extraordinary life!" -About The Author (surviverisetothrive.com)
My last set of certifications and degrees based upon my giftings.
A certification is a credential that you earn to show that you have specific skills or knowledge. They are usually tied to an occupation, technology, or industry. Certifications are usually offered by a professional organization or a company that specializes in a particular field or technology.
How can I earn a certification?
Generally, you need to pass a test to earn a certification. Some organizations that offer a certification exam also provide related training. Or you may find certification preparation training at a local community college.
Why would I want a certification?
Some employers require a certification in order to apply for a job. Many people earn specialty certifications to help them advance in their careers.
Earning a certification can give you a big leg up in the job market. It’s a key item that hiring employers look for on resumes. Some employers may also require workers to have certain certifications. This can be true especially in health care or financial fields.” -https://www.careeronestop.org/FindTraining/Types/certifications.aspx
I am truly open to being a Humanist Chaplain.
A Humanist Chaplain is a secular clergy person who provides comfort, guidance, and emotional support without relying on any religious doctrine or dogma. They also strive to promote reason, ethics, and compassion in the lives of those they serve. Humanist Chaplains usually have a staff position at universities, hospitals, prisons, or other settings where chaplains are typically present.
Why is the Role of Humanist Chaplain Important?
The role of a Humanist Chaplain is crucial as they provide emotional and moral support to individuals who identify as nonreligious (or anyone who wants it, regardless of their beliefs). They serve as a comforting presence offering guidance and counseling in times of crisis, grief, or ethical dilemmas. Their work helps to foster a sense of community and belonging among people who may feel isolated or misunderstood because of their secular beliefs. Humanist Chaplains contribute significantly to the diversity and inclusivity of moral and spiritual perspectives in society.” -https://nathanbweller.com/what-is-a-humanist-chaplain/.
I am truly open to being an Unitarian Universalist minister.
Unitarian Universalist (UU) ministers are a diverse group. They include people of different genders and sexualities, and those who are single or partnered. Ministers have different racial identities and ethnicities, different abilities, and come from many ages and stages of life. Their personal beliefs are as diverse as Unitarian Universalism, and all are committed to UU values. Rather than telling others what to do or believe, ministers encourage people to make sense of the world in their own way, supporting them on their life’s journey.
Ministers serve in a variety of settings—in congregations and beyond. Ministers with the Unitarian Universalist Association are highly trained and highly capable. They go through demanding training and preparation outlined in the fellowshipping process with the UUA, and after being fellowshipped, most get ordained by a UU congregation. Ministry in Congregations and in the Community
UU ministers serving congregations act as the spiritual and administrative leaders of their congregations. They lead worship services and give sermons, challenge and guide the congregation’s spiritual focus, provide pastoral care and counseling, conduct special services, and represent Unitarian Universalism in the community. Ministers work closely with congregations’ volunteer leaders to providing vision, direction, and day-to-day administration, often supervising staff. Some ministers specifically serve a congregation’s religious education or social justice program. All congregationally-based ministers lead in partnership with members of the congregation because the members get to choose whom they will call and settle as their minister, because of our commitment to congregational polity.
There are growing number of UU community ministers who typically serve outside of congregations. They may serve in hospitals, hospices, nursing home, universities, prisons, or military bases as chaplains. They may serve as an executive director of a non-profit organization or work as a religious community organizer. Some community ministers work as pastoral counselors or are seminary professors. All UU community ministers bring their UU values to their work, holding up the UU spirit of personal growth and social justice.” -https://www.uua.org/careers/ministers. “Explore the links below to learn how Unitarian Universalists weave these traditions and identities into who they are today.
Atheist and Agnostic
Buddhist
Christian
Earth-Centered
Hindu
Humanist
Jewish
Muslim.” -https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/beliefs. “Unitarian Universalists believe more than one thing. We think for ourselves, and reflect together, about important questions:
The existence of a Higher Power
Life and Death
Sacred Texts
Prayer and Spiritual Practices.” -https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe. “Unitarian Universalism values deeds not creeds and we need not think alike to love alike.” -Antonio Myers. Link: uunashua.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/100questions.pdf. In the PDF file, I must state that everyone as Unitarian Universalists don’t have the same beliefs on each and every topic.
The secular version of “spiritual gifts.”
My special guest Angie Read Doyal, and I talk about health consciousness, reasonable workplace accommodations, and thriving after her stroke.
Angie considered her life truly blissful. She had an adoring husband, three wonderful teenaged children, and a 25-year ambitious career as a public relations professional. She was active and healthy and about to embark on a mission to travel the world to share her passion and knowledge of marketing to Gen Z. But then life took a horrendous turn.
Completely out of the blue, at the age of just 46, Angie had a right-side ischemic stroke that required emergency brain surgery to remove a blood clot. In the blink of an eye, Angie went from a successful career woman and doting mom to an empty shell, terrified for her future and angry at the injustices of her situation.
Despite surgery going well, Angie was far from her previous levels of health and well-being. Anxiety and depression had taken over her life. She had lost her vibrant, energetic self, she couldn’t work, and she had to depend on her friends and family. Dignity and independence had been replaced with fear and sorrow. Angie was desperate to get back to her normal self but each day, all she could feel was that her body and brain were betraying her, despite having successfully ‘graduated’ from intense physical, speech and occupational rehabilitation.
Realizing that things were spiraling out of control, Angie agreed to being admitted to an in-patient mental health facility—twice. It took years of dedication, self-discovery, and continuous professional support. Angie completed an Intensive Outpatient Program and learned about simple daily practices that would enable her to manage the symptoms of anxiety and depression. She went through talk therapy and required prescription medication.
Her perseverance paid off. Not only was Angie able to return to her career, but she was also in a much better position to support her family, especially when her 22-year-old son had his own mental health crisis.
Now, Angie is back, better and bolder! Enjoying the smaller things in life like time with her friends and family, running, weekends on the lake, and any chance to see the Kansas City Chiefs dominate their opponents. Her own experiences have taught Angie that there is still a huge stigma surrounding mental health and her new passion is to share her story, so nobody has to suffer alone." _ ABOUT – Angiereadbooks (scoutgus.com)
I am enjoying growing in my maturity and my completeness.
Rape culture inspired my sexual self-destructive behavior of my much younger days.
Males are far less likely to report sexual abuse than females.[3] Rape of males is still taboo, and has a negative connotation among heterosexual and homosexual men.[4][5] Community and service providers often react differently to male victims based on their sexual orientation and the gender of their perpetrators.[6] It may be difficult for male victims to report a sexual assault they experienced, especially in a society with a strong masculine custom. They might be afraid that people will doubt their sexual orientation and label them homosexual, especially if raped by a male, or that they may be seen as un-masculine because they were a victim, and therefore many statistics underestimate how many males are raped due to their unwillingness to report sexual assault and rape.[7] Most of the time, male victims try to hide and deny their victimization, similar to female victims, unless they have serious physical injuries. Eventually, the male victims may be very vague in explaining their injuries when they are seeking medical or mental health services.[3]” -Wikipedia.
I am 💯 certain of the fundamentals of me
The sexual stereotypes of black men and non-sexual stereotypes of black men that my non-black women past sex partners and my past black women sex partners believed about me.
My child-self is full of church, Christianity, The Pastorate, Bible, & The Holy Trinity, ending childhood Christian persecution.
My special guest Amanda Udis-Kessler and I discuss the Inclusive spirit of Progressive religion and Liberal religion.
Amanda offers antiracism and anti-oppression trainings specifically as a white person for other white people. These workshops focus on the cultural processes underlying inequality, the issue and nature of white discomfort with racism, and concrete actions people in socially valued groups can take to work for inequality.
For information about Amanda’s work as a hymnwriter, songwriter, and sacred music composer, please see her bio at queersacredmusic.com. The music on this website is all available for free, with no licensing or reporting requirements.
Amanda is a covenantal partner, musician, and lay worship leader at Vista Grande United Church of Christ (Colorado Springs, CO, US) and a regular visiting speaker at the Progressive Christianity Network Britain St. Albans Group."
Link to her website:
Books | Amanda Udis-Kessler (amandaudiskessler.com)
The complexity of my religious views stem from my anguishing upbringing.
Religious persecution can be defined as the systematic hostility or ill-treatment encountered by an individual or group because of their religious beliefs. It may be manifest in a variety of forms. Laws may discriminate against those who subscribe, or fail to subscribe, to a particular religion, resulting in minority traditions experiencing harsher punishments for breaching the law. “Personal status laws” that control marriage, divorce, inheritance and child rearing, may also be used to discriminate against particular faith groups.
In the most severe cases, persecution may take a violent form, with minorities facing physical attacks and threats from the government or wider community. The Holocaust, during which six million Jews were killed under a Nazi regime, is one of the worst examples of widespread and systemic religious persecution known to humankind.
Aside from legal discrimination, minority groups may find themselves socially excluded from communities, forced to worship in secret for fear of public criticism
Religious freedom
The principle of the freedom of religion and belief asserts that individuals should be free to believe in any faith system according to their conscience. This principle also supports the rights of atheists and agnostics not to subscribe to a particular religion. Article 18 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights enshrines freedom of religion, belief and conscience as a right for all peoples. This right includes freedom to change your religion or belief, and freedom to manifest your religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.” Link: jpit.uk/issues/religious-persecution.
I’m a secular Pagan, a secular Hindu, a Secular Humanistic Judaism practitioner, a Black Secularism personifier, a secular Buddhist, a Buddhist Humanist, & a Humanistic Buddhist.
I breath a sigh of relief from the strongholds of back then.
Relief is often accompanied with a sigh, which signals emotional transition.[2] People from all over the world can recognise sighs with relief,[3] and judge relief to be a fundamental emotion.[4]
In a 2017 study published in Psychology, relief is suggested to be an emotion that can reinforce anxiety through avoidance[5][6] or be an adaptive coping mechanism when stressed or frustrated.[7]” -Wikipedia.
Peacing the previous (my past sex partners and I failed each other miserably because our abusers failed us miserably.)
“Doubting Antonio”: I am the black, and autistic version of “Doubting Thomas.” I am open to secular pastoring, faith-based pastoring (no religious right), and being President of The United States.
The objectifications of house of worship leadership and the parishioners.
My audio love letter to the women who want me to be a family man, a pastor, and U.S.A. President.
Any man that shows himself as being honest and straightforward in his dealings with others, automatically becomes more appealing and desirable to a woman. If a man is dependable, truthful, genuine, and speaks from the heart, no woman would want to stay away from such a man, because he and his words can be trusted.”
The pathology of me (yours truly.)
A God exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth.
God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.
The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.
God does not need to be particularly involved in one's life except when God is needed to resolve a problem.
Good people go to heaven when they die.[7]
These points of belief were compiled from interviews with approximately 3,000 teenagers.[8]”.
The rest of my extraordinary reasons for my not being a traditional family man.
As a culture, we have grown increasingly aware of the multiple aspects and types of identity that people possess. While variability in identity is growing increasingly diverse, the cultural beliefs about what makes an identity “normal” are being increasingly revealed. There are many different “normal” or stereotypically expected components of identity that address relational and sexual norms.
Here’s how amatonormativity is connected to other forms of normativity:
Amatonormativity Vs. Heteronormativity
Heteronormativity refers to the assumption that all people are heterosexual and does not allow for individuals who hold diverse sexual orientations, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, or asexual, which describes people who experience no sexual attraction to others. Like amatonormativity, heteronormativity operationally defines what is considered normal, however heteronormativity refers to sexual attraction and amatonormativity describes romantic attraction.
Amatonormativity Vs. Allonormativity
Allonormativity describes the stereotype that all people experience some form of sexual attraction. Allonormative makes space for heterosexual attraction as well as alternative attractions including lesbian, gay, and bisexual. However, an allonormative view ignores the existence of asexual individuals.2 Allonormativity is often assumed alongside amatonormativity due to the cultural construct that joins romantic love and sexual attraction into a conflated expectation.
Amatonormativity Vs. Cisnormativity
Cisnormative expectations refer to the construct of being cisgender, which is holding an identity that matches the sex a person was assigned at birth.3 Cisnormative beliefs do not make space for individuals whose identities reflect aspects of transgenderism. Individuals who endorse cisnormativity also tend to endorse amatonormativity – “normal” people identify as the sex assigned at birth and grow up seeking and prioritizing romantic relationships.
Amatonormativity Vs. Mononormativity
People who believe that individuals should have only a single, monogamous romantic partner at any given time support mononormativity.4 Both mononormativity and amatonormativity address expectations regarding the pursuit of romantic relationships, however, mononormativity is based on the assumption that all people are interested in romantic relationships. Mononormativity is at the opposite end of the spectrum from polyamory, which describes being romantically involved with multiple people simultaneously.
Amatonormativity Vs. Sexual Normativity
Sexual normativity refers to the assumption that all people experience sexual desire and seek opportunities to act on that desire.5 This concept is highly related to amatonormativity as they both create a culture in which the lack of interest in romantic or sexual relationships is seen as abnormal6 The absence of desire for sexual involvement or romance are not abnormal, just individual differences.” -Choosing Therapy.
Cruddy crime and adventurous adolescence
brute force
roughness
ferocity
fierceness
savagery
cruelty
sadism
barbarity
barbarousness
brutishness
murderousness
bloodthirstiness
ruthlessness
inhumanity
heartlessness
pitilessness
mercilessness
strong-arm tactics
ferity
forcefulness
force
full force
power
powerfulness
strength
might
destructiveness.” -Antonio Myers.
I created my own gospel: The Gospel of Belonging. My version of oneness and wholeness.
My compassionate concerns with practicing a religion in regards to the practitioners.
The word "violence" can be defined to extend far beyond pain and shedding blood. It carries the meaning of physical force, violent language, fury, and, more importantly, forcible interference.[19]
Terence Fretheim writes:
For many people, ... only physical violence truly qualifies as violence. But, certainly, violence is more than killing people, unless one includes all those words and actions that kill people slowly. The effect of limitation to a "killing fields" perspective is the widespread neglect of many other forms of violence. We must insist that violence also refers to that which is psychologically destructive, that which demeans, damages, or depersonalizes others. In view of these considerations, violence may be defined as follows: any action, verbal or nonverbal, oral or written, physical or psychical, active or passive, public or private, individual or institutional/societal, human or divine, in whatever degree of intensity, that abuses, violates, injures, or kills. Some of the most pervasive and most dangerous forms of violence are those that are often hidden from view (against women and children, especially); just beneath the surface in many of our homes, churches, and communities is abuse enough to freeze the blood. Moreover, many forms of systemic violence often slip past our attention because they are so much a part of the infrastructure of life (e.g., racism, sexism, ageism).[20]” -Wikipedia.
I no longer have sex for all of the morally wrong reasons deeply rooted within the sexual traumas.
Rage, Anger, Outrage, Fury, Wrath, Hostility, Ferocity, Bitterness, Hatred, Scorn, Spite, Vengefulness, Dislike, Resentment, Disgust, Revulsion, Contempt, Loathing, Envy, Jealousy, Torment, Torture, Sadness, Suffering, Agony, Anguish, Hurt, Depression, Despair, Neglect, Alienation, Defeatism, Dejection, Embarrassment, Homesickness, Humiliation, Insecurity, Insult, Isolation, Loneliness, Rejection,
Sympathy, Pity, Mono no aware,
Fear, Horror, Alarm, Shock, Fear, Fright, Terror, Panic, Hysteria, Mortification,
Nervousness, Anxiety, Suspense, Uneasiness, Apprehension (fear), Worry, Distress, and Dread.” -Antonio Myers.
I no longer see myself as sin-natured due to my Autism.
Learning to read at a very early age (known as hyperlexia).
Memorising and learning information quickly.
Thinking and learning in a visual way.
Logical thinking ability.
May excel (if able) in academic areas such as science, engineering and mathematics as they are technical and logical subjects that do not heavily rely on social interaction.
Having an extraordinarily good memory (being able to remember facts for a long period of time).
Being precise and detail orientated.
Exceptional honesty and reliability.
Being dependable in regards to schedules and routines.
Having an excellent sense of direction.
Be very punctual.
Strong adherence to rules.
Able to concentrate for long periods of time when motivated.
A drive for perfection and order.
A capability for alternate problem solving.
A rare freshness and sense of wonderment.” -https://www.altogetherautism.org.nz/strengths-and-abilities-in-autism/.
I hold the humanity of Christians and non-Christians in high regard.
create a world for humanity.” -Tarana Burke.
My Grandma Clara’s desire for me to be a godly family man and a godly senior pastor.
-Martin Luther King Jr.”
My special guest Dr. Indushree Rajan and I talked about combatting human trafficking, sexual slavery, and systemic racism. We also discussed her therapeutic healing modalities that aids her clientele.
Casual dating etiquette thanks to my career
You get to have romance and touch in your life without the commitments of a serious or long-term relationship.
You have someone to hang out with in your downtime.
You have someone to do "couple" and "relationship" things with, without the commitment.
You can get to know someone in a laid-back, pressure-free way.
You can potentially date multiple people at the same time.
You can have sex with a regular partner.
You get to spend time with someone you like who likes you back.
You can get to know someone in a casual way while deciding whether you want to pursue a serious relationship with them.
You can determine if someone isn't a good fit for a long-term relationship with you before actually entering into a long-term relationship with them.
You can enjoy spending time with someone you like even though you know you two wouldn't make a great couple in the long. term.
You can enjoy dating someone without having to share your whole life with them.
You can enjoy the fun parts of dating without a lot of the more mundane or difficult parts of maintaining a long-term partnership.
Things aren't purely sexual usually—you and the other person genuinely like spending time with each other, even when you're not having sex.
You have more independence and flexibility since you don't need to totally sync your life up with the other person's life.
You don't need to find the "perfect" partner—you can enjoy spending time with anyone whom you find fun to be around, even if they're not the "perfect" fit for you.
You might find out you really like each other and decide to enter into a more serious relationship.
Risks of casual dating:
One person may start to form real romantic feelings or emotional attachment to the other person, and the other person may not feel the same way.
If you develop feelings for the other person and they don't feel the same, you can end up getting hurt.
If the other person develops feelings for you and you don't feel the same way, you may end up feeling guilty about hurting that person.
Some people may not communicate clearly about what they want from casual dating, causing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Some people may use casual dating as an excuse to avoid communicating about needs and boundaries.
Some people may use casual dating as an excuse to be careless, selfish, or dismissive of the other person's needs.
Some people may use casual dating as an excuse to lie to the other person.
Some people may say they want to casually date, when in reality they are hoping for a serious relationship.
If your relationship isn't exclusive, there may be a higher risk of acquiring sexually transmitted infections.
There's a possibility for jealousy if one or both parties is also dating other people.” -Mindbodygreen. “Sexual Trauma Symptoms
Everyone is affected differently by sexual trauma, depending on their age and available support system. Some survivors of sexual trauma can show symptoms of PTSD, while others may exhibit drastic changes in personal hygiene, concentration, and mood. Individuals may also adopt unhealthy coping skills, such as substance use or self-harm, to cope with their distress.
Signs and symptoms of sexual trauma may include:
Changes in sleep pattern (i.e., insomnia or nightmares)
Changes in social behavior or friend groups
Changes in hygiene
Poor concentration
Changes in school or work performance
Mood changes (i.e., depressed, irritable, cries easily, etc.)
Self-injurious behaviors.
Experimenting with substances
Sexually acting out by children (provocative language/body language or imitating sexual acts).” -ChoosingTherapy.
Sexual logical fallacies, sexual trauma responses, and the sexual parts of the sexual brain.
My special guest Rahti Gorfien and I talk about her outstanding neurodiverse individuality.
As a struggling actor and standup comic, I used to start support groups for myself around writing, getting to auditions, etc. I really liked Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artists Way’ and worked through that book 3 times…once solo and twice in groups I formed with friends. Speaking of groups, I also started a Wishcraft Team inspired by Barbara Sher that collectively resulted in a yoga business, a bookstore and a DJ. I seemed to have a gift for facilitating change.
Finally, I knew it was the right business to pursue because one day my husband said “You’re good at this stuff. Start charging.” And since I was burning out on cooking, temping and a myriad of other serial day jobs, I took his advice.
In retrospect, the diversity of my background is clearly a key element in the evolution of my coaching style. As an actor, playwright, standup comic, private cook, company manager, restaurant hostess and adoptive parent, I can accurately say that I’ve experienced life from many enriching perspectives. I even spent several years as a full-time yogini living at an ashram in Pennsylvania! If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m a seeker, and as a result my approach is both humorous and compassionate. As for street cred in terms of days and hours, in addition to having become a professionally certified coach, I have been helping individuals realize their creative, vocational, and personal potential since 1990. So bring it.
Professional Certified Coach, PCC
ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy
Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS)
CCC, “Creativity Coaching Training” taught by Eric Maisel, Ph.D., the founder of this highly respected program for coaches who want to work effectively with artists in all mediums.
Member ICF, IAC
Speaking Appearances include Sarah Lawrence MFA Writing Program, Momasphere, The Actors Center, Curves for Women
NYU Tisch School of the Arts
30 years' experience as an actress in New York City
Online contributor for Momasphere, Sanemoms, and Advice Columnist for Park Slope Parents.
As a playwright, my play When It Rains, was sited by Backstage as one of the best plays of 2004 in their end-of-year-round-up.
Certifications, Degrees, and Experience:
Professional Certified Coach, PCC
ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy
Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS)
CCC, “Creativity Coaching Training” taught by Eric Maisel, Ph.D., the founder of this highly respected program for coaches who want to work effectively with artists in all mediums.
Member ICF, IAC
Speaking Appearances include Sarah Lawrence MFA Writing Program, Momasphere, The Actors Center, Curves for Women
NYU Tisch School of the Arts
30 years' experience as an actress in New York City
Online contributor for Momasphere, Sanemoms, and Advice Columnist for Park Slope Parents.
As a playwright, my play When It Rains, was cited by Backstage as one of the best plays of 2004 in their end-of-year-round-up." Link to her website:
Rahti Gorfien, Certified Life Coach - Creative Calling Coaching.
My special guest Lois Hollis and I talk about her wise coinage of the term "shame guilt."
As a student and teacher, I am educating others on the dangerous impact of shame guilt upon each of us. My” I’m Good” Docu-series further illustrates how changing the shame guilt system solves our mental health crisis.
In 1964 as a registered nurse, I joined the University of Maryland open-heart surgical and nursing team. I modified my traditional nursing skills to meet the challenges of the new field of open-heart surgery.
In 1966 I was a Nurse Entrepreneur. I helped establish one of the first kidney hemodialysis units in the United States at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital. I assisted with research, teaching, and consulting to support other dialysis centers.
Before the availability of the hepatitis vaccine, I contained a hepatitis epidemic at Thomas Jefferson Dialysis Unit and developed protocols for hepatitis management in hemodialysis to other units.
I co-founded the AANNT American Association of Nephrology Nurses and Technicians in 1971 to standardize procedures for hemodialysis nursing.
With sadness and the resistance of colleagues, I left traditional medicine in 1980 for holistic health to save my daughters’ life and my own.
I know firsthand the importance of healing and the spirit of living. I am blessed for extra years by overcoming heart disease, kidney dysfunction, brain traumas, rib fractures, and 30 years of migraine headaches. I had three miscarriages, but God gave me three beautiful daughters.
Why I chose shame guilt for study? Shame and guilt reinforce each other to produce negative emotions such as anger, depression, addictions, etc. Shame guilt harms our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual states. Lack of knowledge and their secrecy gives them power."
"Fun Facts About Lois:
I was a Registered Nurse at the Indy 500 in 1967 when Mario Andretti won.
I saw the Russian ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev leap from one side of the stage to the other at the Philadelphia Academy of Music. The audience stood in silent shock. Seconds later, the sound of thunder swept the theater with clapping. What a moment!
At the airline’s expense in 1970, I was helicoptered onto a yacht touring the Greek Islands because my flight was delayed reaching the boat loading dock. I doubt the airlines can have this type of customer service now. It was fun!
Enjoying a free ski lift ticket since I am over 70
My Polish stamina, mission, and homemade chocolate keep me energized and feeling good.
Link to her website:
Bio – Emotional Counseling | Wellness Counseling | Lois Hollis
My ethical non-monogamy in moderation thanks to my higher calling (the polar opposite of the unethical (not illegal) non-monogamy of my past.)
There are many reasons to desire an ethically non-monogamous relationship setup. These are just a few of them:2
The Ability to Explore One's Sexuality
Sexuality can change over time, and it can take time for us to understand fully. For those who wish to explore their sexual identity by experimenting with consenting people of a different gender, kink preference, or sexual desire than their partner, ENM makes sense because it doesn't require them to give up a primary relationship in order to become better in touch with their sexual identity. Some Relationships Don't Meet All of a Person's Needs
Expecting one human to fit perfectly with you and love everything you love is a lot of pressure. To alleviate this pressure, people who practice ENM have the freedom to look outside their relationship for others who may have similar sexual or romantic interests that their partner doesn't.
More Than Enough Love to Go Around
There are people who are capable of loving and exploring physical, sexual, and emotional intimacy with multiple people at once and who feel more satisfied and fulfilled in life when they are able to do that.” -https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-ethical-non-monogamy-5176515
The hassle and razzle-dazzle of my career and my life as a self-partnered individual
My last episode on my consciously being a solo-polyamorist despite my family man desire.
Nurturing model: The mentor assumes a parental role to create an open, supportive environment where the learner can learn and try things themselves.
Friendship model: The mentor acts more as a peer "rather than being involved in a hierarchical relationship".
Apprenticeship model: The mentor and learner predominantly have a professional relationship.[30] Peer mentoring: Relationships that involve individuals in similar positions. One person may be more knowledgeable in a certain aspect or another, and they can help each other progress in their work. In most cases, peer relationships provide a lot of support, empathy, and advice because the situations are quite similar.
Situational mentoring: Short-term relationships in which a person mentors for a specific purpose. This could be a company bringing an expert in regarding social media, or internet safety. This expert can mentor employees to make them more knowledgeable about a specific topic or skill.
Supervisory mentoring: This relationship involves a mentor with a higher position than the learner. The mentor can answer many questions and advise the best course of action.[31]
Mentoring circles: Participants from all levels of the organization propose and own a topic before meeting in groups to discuss the topic, which motivates them to grow and become more knowledgeable. Flash mentoring is ideal for situations like job shadowing and reverse mentoring.
Flash mentoring: A short-term form of mentoring that focuses on single meetings rather than a traditional, long-term mentoring relationship.[32]” -Wikipedia.
My challenges of being a family man and the massive costs of being a global social justice warrior.
Internal agony
Internal afflictions
Internal tortures
Internal torments
Internal discomfort
Internal soreness
Internal aches
Internal aching
Internal hurts
Internal throbs
Internal throbbing
Internal smarting
Internal prickings
Internal stings
Internal stingings
Internal twinges
Internal shooting pains
Internal stabs
Internal pangs
Internal spasms
Internal stitches
Internal cramps
Internal irritations
Internal stiffness
Internal tenderness.” -Antonio Myers. “My calling may cost me friendships, events, environments, people, things, talk buddies, hangout buddies, small talk buddies, acquaintances, associates, colleagues, co-workers, habits, attitudes, glance buddies, business deals, opportunities, and “living large.” -Antonio Myers. “Some people in the worlds of media communication, advertising media, broadcast media, digital media, electronic media, hypermedia, interactive media, mass media, MEDIA Programme, multimedia, new media, news media, print media, published media, art media, storage media, media player softwares, recording medium, and social media will antagonize me.” -Antonio Myers. “In the worlds of Culture, Geography, Health, History, Human activities, Mathematics, Nature, People, Philosophy, Politics, Secularity, Religion, Society, and Technology, some will antagonize me.” -Antonio Myers.
Women and myself in the past regarding the mutual feeling of insatiable appetite for each other. Intimate partner/domestic violence, intimate partner/domestic sexual violence, the rape of sex workers.
All of the reasons why my past women sex partners and myself gravitated towards each other.
If you see street harassment happening, there are a few ways you can potentially help if you feel safe enough to do so.
When in doubt, assume you should help. If you are not sure whether a situation is harassment or not, assume that it is and ask the person being harassed if they need help. You can say something like “Are you OK?” or “Are they bothering you?”
Step in. If you can, practice bystander intervention by calling out the harasser on what they just did and why it was not acceptable. You can say something like, “You just touched that man when he didn’t want you to. That’s not OK. Stop harassing people.”
Check in with the person being harassed. If you see harassment occur, consider asking the person who was harassed if they are OK and if they need any help.
Report. You can report that you witnessed harassment to public transportation officials, law enforcement, or the harasser’s employer.
You can also help to end street harassment and increase awareness around the issue in a couple different ways.
Never blame the victim. If someone tells you about street harassment they have experienced, the best thing you can do is to listen without judgement and tell them that they did not deserve what happened. You should never reduce their experiences by saying things like “this happened to you because you’re so beautiful,” or “maybe you shouldn’t have worn that dress today.”
Share your experiences. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk with people in your life about street harassment when it occurs. This can not only let others know that they are not alone in these experiences, but can help to raise awareness of the frequency of street harassment and its harmful effects among those who haven’t experienced it.
Call out your friends. If you witness your friend harassing someone on the street by cat-calling them, whistling, making a sexual comment, repeatedly asking for their information, etc., tell your friend to stop. Take time to explain to them why what they did was harassment and that it is wrong.
Where can I learn more or get help?
To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org y en español a rainn.org/es.
If you or someone you know has been affected by gender-based street harassment, support is available in English and Spanish at 855.897.5910 or through online chat.
To learn more about street harassment and for details about the sources for this page, visit Stop Street Harassment.” -RAINN
My work-life balance (I’m open to the family man life: my wife, my kids, my pet, and our house.)
Look at the following characteristics to determine what kinds of boundaries you have:
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
You can say no or yes, and you are ok when others say no to you.
You have a strong sense of identity. You respect yourself.
You expect reciprocity in a relationship-you share responsibility and power.
You know when the problem is yours and when it belongs to someone else.
You share personal information gradually in a mutually sharing/trusting relationship.
You don’t tolerate abuse or disrespect.
You know your own wants, needs and feelings. You communicate them clearly in your relationships.
You are committed to and responsible for exploring and nurturing your full potential.
You are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. You allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and fulfillment.
You value your opinions and feelings as much as others.
You know your limits. You allow others to define their limits.
You are able to ask for help when you need it.
You don’t compromise your values or integrity to avoid rejection.
COLLAPSED BOUNDARIES
You can’t say no, because you are afraid of rejection or abandonment.
Your identity consists of what you think others want you to be. You are a chameleon.
You have no balance of power or responsibility in your relationships. You tend to be either overly responsible and controlling or passive and dependent.
You take on other’s problems as your own.
You share personal information too soon. . .before establishing mutual trust/sharing.
You have a high tolerance for abuse or being treated with disrespect.
Your wants needs and feelings are secondary to others’ and are sometimes determined by others.
You ignore your inner voice and allow others expectations to define your potential.
You feel responsible for other’s happiness and fulfillment and sometimes rely on your relationships to create that for you.
You tend to absorb the feelings of others.
You rely on others opinions, feelings and ideas more than you do your own.
You allow others to define your limits or try to define limits for others.
You compromise your values and beliefs in order to please others or to avoid conflict.
RIGID BOUNDARIES
You are likely to say no if the request involves close interaction.
You avoid intimacy (pick fights, stay too busy, etc.)
You fear abandonment OR engulfment, so you avoid closeness.
You rarely share personal information.
You have difficulty identifying wants, needs, feelings.
You have few or no close relationships. If you have a partner, you have very separate lives and virtually no shared social life.
You rarely ask for help.
You do not allow yourself to connect with other people and their problems.” Dr. Brian Grady.
Ambiamory (my Ambiamorous lovestyle)
An ambiamorous person may choose polyamory because:
They want to be with a person that has polyamorous relationships. Again, this is a very common reason and very straightforward. While someone who is strictly monogamous might consider it a large sacrifice to adapt to dating a polyamorous person, for an ambiamorous person this is typically not that big of a deal at all, especially if they, too, are able to pursue relationships with other people if they want.
They hit the love jackpot and found multiple people that they love and connect with on a deep level and who fit into their life beautifully and harmoniously.
They enjoy the close network of support and friendship that can form between metamours. Their relationship system often functions as a chosen family.
They place a high value upon allowing their partners to have the freedom to see other people, even in situations where they themselves may date less frequently than their partners (or even be functionally monogamous themselves, from time to time. -Kinkly.com
Heteroflexiblity and cisgenderflexibility
According to scientific consensus, sexual orientation is not a choice.[7][8][9] There is no consensus on the exact cause of developing a sexual orientation, but genetic, hormonal, social, and cultural influences have been examined.[9][10][11] Scientists believe that it is caused by a complex interplay of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences.[7][9][11] Although no single theory on the cause of sexual orientation has yet gained widespread support, scientists favor biologically-based theories.[7][12] Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation can be at any point along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the opposite sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex.[13]” -Wikipedia. “Genderfluidity is a non-fixed gender identity that shifts over time or depending on the situation. These fluctuations can occur at the level of gender identity or gender expression. A genderfluid person may fluctuate among different gender expressions over their lifetime, or express multiple aspects of various gender markers simultaneously.[1][2] Genderfluid individuals may identify as non-binary or transgender, or cisgender, which means they identify with the gender associated with their sex assigned at birth.[3][4] Genderfluidity is different from gender-questioning, a process in which people explore their gender in order to find their true gender identity and adjust their gender expression accordingly.[5] Genderfluidity continues throughout lives of genderfluid people.[6]” -Wikipedia.
My types of advocacy and my styles of activism that I am called to do.
Question the way policy is administered
Participate in the agenda-setting as they raise significant issues
Target political systems "because those systems are not responding to people's needs"
Are inclusive and engaging
Propose policy solutions
Open up space for public argumentation
Other forms of advocacy include:
Budget advocacy: another aspect of advocacy that ensures proactive engagement of Civil Society Organizations with the government budget to make the government more accountable to the people and promote transparency. Budget advocacy also enables citizens and social action groups to compel the government to be more alert to the needs and aspirations of people in general and the deprived sections of the community.
Bureaucratic advocacy: people considered "experts" have more chance to succeed at presenting their issues to decision-makers. They use bureaucratic advocacy to influence the agenda, although at a slower pace.
Express versus issue advocacy: These two types of advocacy when grouped together usually refers to a debate in the United States whether a group is expressly making their desire known that voters should cast ballots in a particular way, or whether a group has a long-term issue that isn't campaign and election season specific.
Health, environment and climate change negotiations advocacy: supports and promotes patients' health care rights as well as enhance community health and policy initiatives that focus on the availability, safety and quality of care.
Ideological advocacy: in this approach, groups fight, sometimes during protests, to advance their ideas in the decision-making circles.
Interest-group advocacy: lobbying is the main tool used by interest groups doing mass advocacy. It is a form of action that does not always succeed at influencing political decision-makers as it requires resources and organization to be effective.
Legislative advocacy: the "reliance on the state or federal legislative process" as part of a strategy to create change.[5]
Mass advocacy: any type of action taken by large groups (petitions, demonstrations, etc.)
Media advocacy: "the strategic use of the mass media as a resource to advance a social or public policy initiative" (Jernigan and Wright, 1996). In Canada, for example, the Manitoba Public Insurance campaigns illustrate how media advocacy was used to fight alcohol and tobacco-related health issues. We can also consider the role of health advocacy and the media in "the enactment of municipal smoking bylaws in Canada between 1970 and 1995." [6]
Special education advocacy: advocacy with a "specific focus on the educational rights of students with disabilities."
Different contexts in which advocacy is used:
In a legal/law context: An "advocate" is the title of a specific person who is authorized/appointed in some way to speak on behalf of a person in a legal process.
In a political context: An "advocacy group" is an organized collection of people who seek to influence political decisions and policy, without seeking election to public office.
In a social care context: Both terms (and more specific ones such as "independent advocacy") are used in the UK in the context of a network of interconnected organisations and projects which seek to benefit people who are in difficulty (primarily in the context of disability and mental health).
In the context of inclusion: Citizen Advocacy organisations (or programmes) seek to cause benefit by reconnecting people who have become isolated. Their practice was defined in two key documents: CAPE, and Learning from Citizen Advocacy Programs.” -Wikipedia.
My grandma’s transition was the number one cause of my past unethical (not illegal) sexual conduct.
Pressure to prove his manhood physically and sexually (becoming stronger and engaging in dangerous or violent behavior; having multiple female sexual partners).
Confusion over gender and sexual identity.
Sense of being an inadequate man.
Sense of lost power, control, and confidence to his manhood.
Problems with closeness and intimacy.
Sexual problems.[note 4]
Fear of becoming 'homosexual' or 'gay'.
Homophobia.” -Wikipedia. “The sexual conquest contests in my life are over forever.” -Antonio Myers
The types of slavery & trafficking I endured in my boyhood & my constructive criticism of religion.
Many historical cases of enslavement occurred as a result of breaking the law, becoming indebted, suffering a military defeat, or exploitation for cheaper labor; other forms of slavery were instituted along demographic lines such as race or sex. Slaves may be kept in bondage for life, or for a fixed period of time after which they would be granted freedom.[2] Although slavery is usually involuntary and involves coercion, there are also cases where people voluntarily enter into slavery to pay a debt or earn money due to poverty. In the course of human history, slavery was a typical feature of civilization,[3] and was legal in most societies, but it is now outlawed in most countries of the world, except as a punishment for a crime.[4][5]
In chattel slavery, the slave is legally rendered the personal property (chattel) of the slave owner. In economics, the term de facto slavery describes the conditions of unfree labour and forced labour that most slaves endure.[6]” -Wikipedia. “Smuggling is the illegal transportation of objects, substances, information or people, such as out of a house or buildings, into a prison, or across an international border, in violation of applicable laws or other regulations. More broadly, social scientists define smuggling as the purposeful movement across a border in contravention to the relevant legal frameworks.[2] There are various motivations to smuggle. These include the participation in illegal trade, such as in the drug trade, illegal weapons trade, prostitution, human trafficking, kidnapping, exotic wildlife trade, art theft, blood diamonds, heists, chop shops, illegal immigration or illegal emigration, tax evasion, import restrictions, export restrictions, providing contraband to prison inmates, or the theft of the items being smuggled.” -Wikipedia. “I endured witnessing all of the above in my childhood.” -Antonio Myers.
Child abusers, child abuser apologists, adult abusers, & adult abuser apologists in the crime world.
I fully know what is right and wrong for me.
lack of certainty
unsureness
indecision
hesitation
hesitancy
skepticism
doubt
ignorance
dubiety
incertitude.” -Antonio Myers.