Artist Personal Journalist

I talk about one of my biggest fears: being Locked In. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 15, YEAR 6)

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How I believe my anxiety is fighting my ability to stay present. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 14, YEAR 6)

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I had no idea what to call this conversation but... The current state of things - it's not meant to be useful to a consumer. I know that's obvious, but it's bananas. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 13, YEAR 6)

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I know this is obvious, healing of any kind is non-linear but I've never experienced it like this and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 12, YEAR 6)

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I'm in an anxiety hole and talk about meds. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 11, YEAR 6)

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At some point I lost the "I'm happy to be alive" in the morning vibes. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 10, YEAR 6)

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How my Anxiety can impair my ability to process situations via not giving my heart enough time to catch up to my over-exaggerated mind. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 9, YEAR 6)

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I think there's an emotional tie to why I treat media with reverence. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 8, YEAR 6)

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I think back to the four times I tried Cannabis before actually using it regularly. (STORY TIME - WEEK 7, YEAR 6)

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I discuss my recent experience with Cannabis Use. Some technical aspects as well as what good it does for me, and some possible detriments I'm keeping an eye on. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 7, YEAR 6)

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I discuss how cannabis use has been effecting my vlogging. (BEHIND THE CURTAIN - WEEK 6, YEAR 6)

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I get paranoid about mob mentality during a natural disaster. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 6, YEAR 6)

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When my anxiety is at its heights, it only gives me two choices. I reflect on how we're not built to feel this way for this long and why I'm left with The Ultimatum. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 5, YEAR 6)

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I realize how important it is for me to create meaning daily - for myself and only myself. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 4, YEAR 6)

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A friend asked me what role anger plays in my life currently. These are my reflections on how far I've come and what work I need to continue to do. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 3, YEAR 6)

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I really had no idea what to title this. I talk about how I'm anxious about death and how it informs my art practice and vice versa? Why am I so apprehensive to oil paint? Why do I not care if I'm remembered as I thought I did? (CONVERSATION - WEEK 2, YEAR 6)

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I discuss how I'm treating goal-setting this year. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 1, YEAR 6)

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I recount some changes I've made, if I want to continue the vlog, and discuss a couple goals for this upcoming year. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 52, YEAR 5)

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I am still processing how to let go of expectations of "normalcy" in practice and not just in theory. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 51, YEAR 5)

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I watched the film, "Minding the Gap" and it illustrated how important Artmaking is for working through past trauma and healing in the present. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 50, YEAR 5)

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I realize that it's been years since I've been able to Coast and feel relaxed on a consistent basis and that is scary and unhealthy. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 49, YEAR 5)

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I ponder about my desire for Excess and how it could be linked to a Dopamine Deficiency. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 48, YEAR 5)

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I watch the movie, "Split" again and learn something about myself in regards to giving my anxiety a proper function. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 47, YEAR 5)

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David Bowie plays The Goblin King in this Jim Henson family fantasy adventure musical. It's a cool intro to a light fantasy world for kids and kinda fun. *Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 46, YEAR 5)

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An amazing cast tell the story of poker players on an adventure in this high-stakes drama. A Human story about integrity, pride, fate, life's path, and knowing when to cut your losses, *Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 46, YEAR 5)

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The Artist is Automatically The Other. Why that was good and how it's now, not at all. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 46, YEAR 5)

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Instagram shadow bans me and restricts me because I used a song in their approved library - now what? (BEHIND THE CURTAIN/CONVERSATION - WEEK 45, YEAR 5)

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Someone gives me a pain scale that helps me out. I reinforce Cannabis Learning, and think about music to get women vs. music about not having women and how they're not the same necessarily. (WDILTW? - WEEK 44, YEAR 5)

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What is the point of a "rule" without consequences? (CONVERSATION - WEEK 44, YEAR 5)

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Certain music in the classroom isn't as effective as it used to be, why I'm Doom Scrolling more lately, and ho Excess is still so present in my life. (WDILTW? - WEEK 43, YEAR 5)

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A period piece and re-imagining of the Marquis de Sade's time in Charerenton. This movie is what brought the beautiful Marquis de Sade to my attention years ago.

It discusses censorship, cathartic artmaking, and so much more. It is irreverent and challenging and essential for Artists and Art appreciators of every kind. *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 43, YEAR 5)

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An unexpected Sweet story amongst the action in the streets of NYC. Can people change?*No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 43, YEAR 5)

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Chaos Theory. Blockbuster movie gets confrontational, uncomfortable, and pushes boundaries while discussing time travel? *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 43, YEAR 5)

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I try and define the difference between having knowledge and being "smart". (CONVERSATION - WEEK 43, YEAR 5)

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Bucket Lists are for the Privileged and those who like to window shop? Why I don't have one. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 42, YEAR 5)

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I need some visual aids to Keep it Movin' sometimes. I also realize why these days can seem so pointless. (WDILTW? - WEEK 42, YEAR 5)

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Henry David Thoreau's essays on being a solid human being. One with integrity and incredibly high morals. Mid 1800's essays that revolve around slavery/racism but also walking in nature for your mental health? *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 42, YEAR 5)

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A movie that can turn you into a Transcendental Space Goat.

Boy Meets Girl from across the pond in the 60s set to an original Beatles Soundtrack. This Musical is Amazing. *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 42, YEAR 5)

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This movie played a role in me wanting to be a teacher. It's abrasive yet heart-warming. Be prepared to be uncomfortable. A fact-based bio drama starring Morgan Freeman playing Joe Clark - a principal sent to a school to turn it around. *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 41, YEAR 5)

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"Only Love can make it rain..." What a powerful song - what a powerful movie! This drama is nuanced and fun despite its heavy subject matter. A man loses touch with reality and is stuck and an old friend makes a play at trying to bring him back. Relationships, human endeavour, sweetness, passion intensity... Amazing stuff.

Also, Adam Sandler knocks this dramatic role out of the park and him and Don Cheadle have great chemistry. *No Spoilers*. (REVIEW - WEEK 41, YEAR 5)

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I use an exercise machine, mess up some art, and define a Loser. (WDILTW? - WEEK 41, YEAR 5)

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"It Takes all Types." Another empty platitude. No, it doesn't. We can do without a lot of types of people. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 41, YEAR 5)

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I learn a lot of things that aren't fun. I'm an anxious mess this week - yes, more than normal. (WDILTW? - WEEK 40, YEAR 5)

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A disjointed, weak, and incomplete case for Hedonism brought forth by anxiety and exhaustion with life. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 40, YEAR 5)

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I talk about some oil painting, adhesives, how rest is a part of exercise, and Intuition learnings. (WDILTW? - WEEK 39, YEAR 5)

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"It'll happen!" "Good things come to those who wait." No. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 39, YEAR 5)

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I learn that sometimes hard things come easier when under the influence of cannabis and why my love for vampires may be tied to anxiety. (WDILTW? - WEEK 38, YEAR 5)

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I put this "Everything Is" approach to life into practice and see some immediate positive effects in my life. Especially concerning anxiety. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 38, YEAR 5)

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What did I learn this week? Coral Reef is an animal, teleportation is real, and how to take the pressure off. (WDILTW? - WEEK 37, YEAR 5)

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The way my anxiety manifests and the way I cope with it prevents me from using my intuition in an effective way. (CONVERSATION - WEEK 37, YEAR 5)

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