Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

In this final episode of Behind the Smile with Ash Butterss, I find myself caught between waves of emotion, from sadness to gratitude to a deep sense of excitement. They say all good things must come to an end, but within that ending lies the seeds of new beginnings.

Throughout this journey I’ve always emphasised the importance of practicing what I preach, being guided by my intuition and leading with vulnerability. Now I’m taking my own advice, as I step into this next chapter.

Behind the Smile has been so much more than a series of episodes; it’s been a life-changing experience. I’ve had the privilege of shining a light on taboo conversations that for so long were kept in the dark. Yet with each conversation, I believe we moved one step close to removing the stigma around mental health, trauma and addiction.

To you, the listeners, who tuned in week after week, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your dedication and passion for the show fuelled this journey for me and made it all the more meaningful. I’m truly humbled by the messages you’ve sent and the stories you’ve shared with me.

As I say farewell to you all, I want to remind you to continue stepping out from behind the smile and sharing your truth. Because when we recover loudly, no one need suffer in silence.

In this episode I talk about:

• A Journey of Connection – 1:24
• The Mission – 2:20
• Embracing Change – 7:20
• The Highlights – 9:30
• Trusting Your Intuition – 14:39
• How To Start a Podcast – 18:18
• Listener Love – 21:32
• Where to Next – 24:36

This week I sat down with Lissie Turner, also known as Mel Bampton from Triple J’s ‘Mel in the Morning’ and creator of ‘Like a Version’. Now an author, speaker, founder of The Prana Project and internationally accredited senior yoga teacher and therapist, Lissie shares her profound journey from a life of prominence and partying to one of sobriety, dedicated to compassionate living, mental health, and yoga therapy.

Lissie offers an unflinchingly honest look at her personal trials, including redefining her identity post-fame, navigating the complex responsibility of motherhood and dealing with what life throws at you.

Lissie also shares an intimate crossroads moment and how meditation, yoga, and love allowed her to heal her relationship with her children.

Some of the highlights from this conversation include:

• Spiritual Fitness - 3:21
• A Wild Ride - 9:58
• Coloring Outside the Lines - 28:09
• The Path to Radio - 34:58
• Refinement with Age - 41:47
• Creation of ‘Like a Version’ - 44:29
• Sobriety and Loss of Identity - 52:24
• The Yoga Framework - 58:54
• Healing Relationships - 1:04:38
• “There Is Nothing Absolute, and Everything Is Relevant” - 1:13:56

In this week’s episode, I sat down with Dr. David Wiss, a registered dietitian nutritionist who specialises in treating eating disorders and substance abuse.

David shares his journey from hustling in the streets of West LA in the 90’s, his experience during the opioid epidemic, drug abuse and incarceration to becoming a thought leader in the intersection of nutrition and mental health. He provides insight into his work, exploring topics such as the impact of adverse childhood experiences on eating habits, the controversial concept of food addiction, and the relationship between diet culture, body positivity, and overall health. 

David also shares his inspiration to launch Wise Mind Nutrition, an app that provides evidence-based nutrition education that tracks lifestyle patterns and co-creates a customised plan to help improve overall health.

In this conversation we talk about:

• Counterculture - 6:22
• The Real David - 9:41
• Childhood Influences - 11:20
• The Hustle Begins - 14:05
• Navigating the Opioid Epidemic - 15:40
• From Supermax to Second Chances - 18:35
• Nutrition In Recovery - 26:21
• Food Addiction - 33:29
• Cross Addiction - 41:19
• Practical Advice for Nurturing Recovery Through Nutrition - 44:30
• Personal Reflections - 50:36

In this studio episode, I’m joined by Empowerment Specialist Laura Corcoran who is known for assisting women in boosting their energy, confidence, and magnetism. With a background in psychology, Laura merges conventional therapeutic methods with holistic healing modalities.

Deeply rooted from her own experiences, Laura talks us through the essential practice of embracing stillness, establishing personal boundaries, articulating personal truths, and the critical role of mentorship in the journey of healing.

She also generously shares her narrative of metamorphosis, turning life's hurdles into stepping stones for development, and underscores the importance of self-investment.

In this conversation we cover a range of topics including:

• Having a Daily Routine: 7:15
• Manifestations: 11:34
• Unpacking Core Beliefs - 15:58
• People Pleasing and Attachment - 27:32
• “Psychologists become Psychologists to Heal Themselves” - 37:21
• Vulnerability is a Strength - 47:33
• Finding the Balance - 50:30
• The Role of Mentorship in Personal Growth and Healing - 59:02
• Self-care Practices - 1:02:00

In this week’s episode, I sat down with recovery and social justice warrior, Nicole Obrigavitch. 

Nicole went from being a practicing lawyer, wife and mother, to dealing drugs and having a price on her head. A police operation led to her eventual arrest and conviction which saw her spend three years in prison. 

Since getting clean and sober in 2018, Nicole has fought to rebuild her life and give back. 

Today, as the Executive Director of the Elizabeth Fry Society of Saskatoon, Nicole works tirelessly to support women and gender diverse people that have come into conflict with the justice system

Nicole is living proof of the power in recovery and emphasises the importance of transparency, accountability, and resilience in her journey to redemption.

In this conversation we covered a range of topics including:

• Childhood and Early Exposure to Alcohol - 04:34

• Relapse and the Impact on Her Life - 08:44

• Progression from Alcohol Abuse to Drug Trafficking - 15:11

• Incarceration and Rehabilitation - 37:05

• The Struggle with Intimate Partner Violence - 43:10

• The Fight Against Systemic Racism - 45:51

• Second Chances - 52:54

• Non-Negotiables - 59:11

In this episode, I’m joined by Dom McKenna – a husband, father, business owner, and fitness advocate from Melbourne. 

Dom candidly shares his struggles with substance abuse, shedding light on the pivotal moments that led him towards recovery. With raw honesty, he reflects on the ongoing challenges he faces in combating his 'isms' and how they continue to shape his life.

But that's not all - Dom also offers invaluable insights into managing a successful business alongside his wife, the crucial role of habits in achieving success in all aspects of life, the importance of maintaining a healthy diet, and the unwavering dedication required to uphold sobriety, nurture relationships, prioritise health, and thrive in business.

We touched upon a range of topics, such as:

• Dating in Early Sobriety - 5:04
• Held Hostage by Addiction - 8:08
• The Role of Environment in Addiction - 11:44
• Reflections on Anonymity and Recovery - 35:17
• Dealing with Criticism and Opinions - 39:35
• Navigating Relationships in Recovery - 41:12
• Work-Life Balance is BS - 56:16
• Non-negotiables - 1:10:00 

In this studio episode, I sit down with Jess Jackson, a meditation teacher and founder of the Bondi born skincare brand 'Good Living Only'.

Jess talks openly about her initial hesitation towards sobriety and the challenges she faced in accepting her new lifestyle. She also reflects on the experiences that led her to make this transformative decision and how making the decision to truly own her sobriety has freed her from the shame she once felt.

We also explore her move to Sydney, her Singapore setback, and the role meditation plays in her life. Jess emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself, communicating boundaries, and focusing on self-care practices.

Some of the key topics covered include:

• Grounding Yourself - 7:40

• External Validation - 13:10

• Band-Aid Fix - 22:47

• Embracing Change - 31:21

• Stepping into a New Identity - 36:00

• Being Vulnerable - 46:14

• 10 Steps Forward, 20 Steps Back - 49:33

• Creating Space - 54:42

  
  

You can find Jess Jackson using the links below:

In this episode, I sat down with Sabrina Zohar, a wildly successful entrepreneur, podcast host, and dating coach. In this candid conversation we spoke about mental health, relationships, and the not so sexy reality behind success.

Sabrina is one of the most authentic humans I’ve ever met and was so open sharing her journey from battling depression post-breakup, finding solace in her work, and redefining interpersonal relationships.

Emphasizing the importance of mental and emotional resilience, Sabrina also spoke about how she managed to detach from behaviors that no longer served her and how she did the work to create a healthy loving relationship.

As a dating coach, I had to ask Sabrina about Attachment Styles - a topic that’s hotly debated and discussed right now.

Some of the highlights from this conversation include:

• Accountability - 6:56

• Struggles and Triumphs - 7:40

• Drinking to Fit In - 15:59

• First Impressions - 20:49

• Sitting with Anxiety - 24:09

• Attachment Theory - 29:53

• Non-Negotiables - 38:24

You can find Sabrina Zohar using the links below:

In this episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Christina Galbato, a dynamic entrepreneur and the brains behind 'Create Her Empire.' She opens up about her journey from a secret alcohol addiction to embracing life in sobriety. 

Christina shares how her addiction resulted in both mental and physical health problems, affected her relationships, and damaged her self-esteem. Despite achieving huge success in her career, she was fighting a secret battle, all the while hiding behind a smile. 

Today, at almost three years sober, Christina is priortising her personal development and is committed to her recovery more than ever before.

We spoke about a range of topics including:

• Drinking Habits - 7:30
• Keeping Up Appearances - 11:15
• It Works Until it Doesn't Anymore - 18:19
• Endless Cycle - 23:54
• Bargaining with Yourself - 26:18
• The First 90 Days - 29:32
• Moving and Growing - 39:15
• Staying on the Path - 41:51
• Dating in Sobriety - 44:01
• Sobriety Comes First - 53:02

In this episode, I talk to Sara Schley, an organizational consultant, spiritual leader, author, entrepreneur and bipolar human, about her journey with Bipolar II. Sara speaks about her experiences with cognitive dysfunction, her late diagnosis (25 years later), and the importance of the correct medications in the successful management of bipolar disorder. Sara also shares how medical misdiagnoses can lead to further complications. Drawing on personal experience and research, the conversation delves into some prominent triggers for bipolar disorder and the importance of overall health management. Sara also shares some key takeaways including her Emergency Mental Health Team (EMHT) system and advises on measures for supporting someone living with bipolar.

In this conversation we discuss:

• Living with a Bipolar Brain - 2:55
• The Spiral - 9:56
• Misdiagnosis - 17:30
• Feeling Like Yourself Again - 21:50
• The Power of Advocacy in Mental Health - 26:54
• Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II - 29:51
• Stigma Kills - 34:56
• Understanding Triggers - 41:54
• The Importance of Support Networks in Mental Health - 50:16
• Self-Care - 53:45

In this episode, I'm joined by Jeremy Lipkowitz, a meditation teacher, coach, and porn addiction recovery expert. Jeremy shares his personal recovery story and emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and self-compassion in overcoming addiction.

He talks about the harmful effects porn can have on mental health, relationships, and self-esteem, as well as the broader implications of the porn industry.

Jeremy discusses his approach to recovery, which involves understanding the neurological aspects of addiction, cultivating healthy habits, and creating supportive communities. He stresses the importance of treating oneself as a friend in the healing journey and how shame can impede recovery.

Despite the stigma associated with porn addiction, Jeremy encourages open conversation around it and urges those struggling to treat these issues as obstacles on the path to a fulfilling life.

We touched on a range of interesting topics, including:

• How Addiction Works - 5:45

• The Benefits of Meditation Retreats - 9:16

• Escapism - 18:20

• The Impact of Porn on Perception and Intimacy - 27:25

• The Novelty Trap - 30:32

• What Defines a Porn Addict? - 34:18

• The Role of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion in Recovery - 45:52

• Learning How to be Your Own Best Friend - 52:56

In this week’s episode I sat down with Doctor of Nutrition and Author, Dr. Brooke Scheller. Dr. Scheller is on a mission to help people heal their relationship with alcohol through nutrition, and her new book How to Eat to Change How You Drink is full of helpful tips and information to support anyone looking to change their drinking habits.

In this conversation, Dr. Scheller discusses the role of nutrition in mental health and how nutrients can impact mood and the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin. She explains how alcohol depletes key nutrients and can contribute to anxiety and depression.

We discuss the role of supplements such as B vitamins, amino acids, and magnesium to support alcohol recovery, along with exploring the negative effects of alcohol on sleep and the cravings for carbs and sugar that often follow disrupted sleep.

Finally, we talk about the importance of community in sobriety and Dr. Scheller shares her three non-negotiables for a happy, joyous, and free life: community, self-development, and wellness.

Some of the key points we cover include:

• Hiding Behind a Smile – 8:30
• A Family Disease – 15:00
• How Nutrition Helps Us Heal in Recovery – 19:00
• The Different Drinking Archetypes – 29:00
• Making A Choice Before You Can’t – 34:12
• Sugar Cravings in Sobriety – 35:30
• The Role of Nutrition in Mental Health – 40:50
• Supplements to Support Alcohol Recovery – 43:00
• Alcohol's Impact on Sleep and Cravings – 47:27
• The Importance of Community in Sobriety – 52:00

To kick off the New Year, I’m sitting down with Trauma and Addiction Specialist Diane Young to discuss all things New Year’s Resolutions!

In this conversation we explore the concept of setting intentions instead of New Year's resolutions and the benefits of taking small steps towards change. The conversation delves into the differences between heavy drinkers and grey area drinkers and the continuum of drinking behaviour. It also addresses the connection between childhood trauma and eating disorders, as well as the role of boundaries in relationships.

Some of the ideas we cover include:

• Increased Awareness of Mental Health – 4:23
• Setting Intentions Instead of New Year's Resolutions – 6:15
• Taking Small Steps Towards Change – 8:45
• Differentiating Heavy Drinkers and Grey Area Drinkers – 10:32
• Understanding Heavy Drinkers and Grey Area Drinkers – 15:03
• The Benefits of Alcohol-Free Challenges –21:00
• The Impact of Alcohol on Mental Health – 24:06
• The Connection Between Childhood Trauma and Eating Disorders – 28:28
• Setting Intentions for Food and Body Image – 31:44
• Healing Childhood Trauma and Filling the Inner Void – 37:50
• The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Body Image – 39:07
• The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships – 41:36
• The Power of Self-Care and Self-First – 45:02
• Setting Intentions for the New Year – 50:47

It’s my birthday this week and I’m turning 36, so to celebrate I wanted to give you all a gift! In this week’s solo episode, I’m sharing with you all my 36 game changing lessons that have made a huge impact on my life!

These lessons span across all facets of the human experience including relationships, mindset, career and health. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Behind the Smile episode without discussing recovery, but these lessons are really applicable to anyone wanting to expand their mind and step into the very best version of themselves.

As this is also the final episode for 2023, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for you continued support for the show this year. Let’s continue to normalise the conversation around mental health, trauma and addiction, because when we recover loudly, no one need suffer in silence.

Until next time.

In this week’s episode I sat down with registered counsellor, alcohol coach and podcast host Isabella Ferguson.

Bella identifies as having been a “grey-area” drinker throughout her 20-year drinking career, which came to an abrupt halt in February 2020 after entering a rehab facility.

Today, Bella’s life couldn’t look more different. She’s left her former industry of law and is now a corporate wellness speaker as well as heading up a busy counselling practice focusing on helping people address their relationship with alcohol and regain balance in their lives.

In this conversation we covered a range of topics including:

• Stress Reduction – 2:00
• Hiding Behind a Smile – 9:23
• The Need to Fit In – 15:30
• Corporate Drinking Culture – 24:20
• The Flashing Red Drinking Zone – 31:30
• The Opportunity to Start Again – 42:30
• Finding Your Voice – 50:00
• Sober Rock Bottoms – 53:00
• Non-Negotiables – 55:15

In this week’s episode I sat down with Sober Coach, Teacher’s Aide and mum of three, Megan Webb.

From early childhood, Meg experienced crippling anxiety and by the age of 17, she’d developed a social phobia. Made worse by alcohol, Meg fell into a terrible cycle of self-medication which only fuelled her crippling mental health condition.

After years of unsuccessfully trying to manage her drinking, Meg knew she needed to make a change. She felt unfulfilled and knew deep down that there was so much more to life. This is what led to Meg making the decision to quit drinking for the final time on the 31st of December 2021.

In this conversation we covered a range of topics including:

• Detoxing from alcohol – 2:17
• Hiding Behind a Smile – 8:50
• Anxiety and Social Phobia – 16:55
• Managing Alcohol and Relationships – 27:33
• Drinking away the pain – 33:00
• The turning point – 35:00
• Life Changes and Spiritual Connection – 41:12
• The Importance of Kindness and Understanding – 44:36

In this week’s episode I sat down with New York Times Best Selling Author, Prison Reform Advocate and mother of four, Lara Love Hardin.

Lara’s recently released memoir, The Many Lives of Mama Love, recounts her slide from soccer mum, to opioid addict, to jailhouse shot caller and her unlikely comeback to becoming a highly successful ghost writer and published author.

Lara’s journey from shame to redemption is now inspiring others as she works to help previously incarcerated women rebuild their lives.

We spoke on a range of topics including:

• Secrets make you sick – 5:30
• Self-medicating with prescription pills – 10:37
• The moment Lara’s life changed forever – 19:00
• Losing the power of choice – 24:30
• Shedding the shame – 30:00
• Surviving an impossible system – 35:30

In this week’s episode I sat down with Aussie Ranger and single mum, Ali Burke.

After spending decades immersed in a celebrated drinking culture, Ali reached a point in her life where she knew something had to change.

Ali got sober curious which then led her down the path of hypnotherapy and a commitment to take one year off the booze. Six months in, the numerous benefits she experienced were enough for her to want to ditch the drink forever.

Ali radiates a glass half full attitude and chooses to look at sobriety through the lens of what she’s gained rather than what she’s given up.

Hearing Ali share her story with so much positivity was an absolutely joy. Now at two and a half years sober, Ali hopes to inspire other people like her, to take the leap and step into a sober life.

We chatted about a range of topics including:

• Identifying triggers – 8:30
• Marrying your drinking buddy – 18:00
• When your life revolves around drinking – 24:22
• The impact of growing up too fast – 30:00
• Anxiety, depression and low self-esteem – 41:40
• Subconscious healing – 51:00

In this week’s episode I sat down with Spiritual Advisor, Clinical Counsellor and Motivational Speaker, Fausto Castellanos. Known as “the hope dealer,” Fausto has found a way to turn his pain into his purpose by helping others along their own paths of recovery and healing.

Fausto is an amazing speaker with incredible insights but what struck me most about this conversation was his openness and vulnerability around topics people tend to shy away from. This conversation is equal parts heartbreaking and inspiring.

Please note, Fausto shares openly about his traumatic childhood, which some listeners may find confronting. Tune in with caution.

We spoke on a range of topics including:

• Compassion fatigue – 5:00

• Building self-esteem – 11:00

• Child sex abuse – 15:30

• Experimentation to acceleration – 24:00

• Finding relief and identification – 34:00

• Consciously designing your future – 38:00

• Codependency, celibacy and carried trauma – 46:20

• Dope dealer to Hope Dealer – 56:20

• Manifestation – 59:00

Trigger Warning: This conversation includes discussions around sexual abuse, drug abuse and suicide.

You can find Fausto using the links below:

In this week’s episode I sat down with Recovery Coach, Yoga Teacher and host of the Sun and Moon Sober Living podcast, Mary Tilson.

Mary has been sober for over a decade and is passionate about helping others find freedom from addiction so they can live fulfilling lives substance-free.

Combining holistic principles such as meditation, breath work and yoga, Mary has discovered the healthy way to be naturally high and happy.

Mary and I connected on a range of topics including:

• Our secrets make us sick – 7:40
• How honesty heals – 12:15
• The high achieving party girl – 19:15
• Drinking on knowledge – 26:14
• Supporting a loved one until they’re ready – 33:30
• The similarities between Yoga and Recovery – 37:30
• Deep connection through breath work – 46:00

In this week’s episode I sat down with musician, running enthusiast and sobriety advocate, Luke Bayliss.

From a young age, Luke experienced bullying at school which triggered debilitating anxiety and an eating disorder. Always feeling uncomfortable in his own skin, when Luke discovered alcohol, he found his insecurities melted away.

Luke had a troubled relationship with booze from the outset which would later lead him to a near fatal car accident and multiple admissions into psych wards.

It wasn’t until Luke went into treatment again in 2022 that he was correctly diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar 3. Since this time, Luke has managed to stay sober and is now passionately sharing his story, so that it doesn’t become yours.

Luke talks passionately on a range of topics including:

• Bullying and developing an eating disorder – 13:00
• Childhood anxiety – 19:00
• Surviving a near fatal car crash – 25:00
• ADHD, Bipolar and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria – 30:00
• Why routine is a game changer – 46:30
• Finding strength in vulnerability – 52:00

In this week’s episode I sat down with life and sobriety coach Michelle McDonald. Since getting sober in 2021, Michelle has been on a mission to support other people in recovery through the creation of connection and community.

Michelle believes connection is everything and she credits her sobriety for not only developing a deeper connection with her loved ones, but even more so, a deeper and more meaningful connection with herself.

In this conversation we spoke about topics including:

• The importance of connection – 5:30
• The absence of a rock bottom – 10:00
• Modelling healthy habits – 21:22
• The benefits of taking a break – 27:30
• Embracing change in relationships – 36:15
• Connecting to the real you – 43:00

In this week’s episode I sat down with Australia’s foremost Blues Musician, Ash Grunwald.

On the 1st of January 2018, Ash, (persuaded by his wife Danni Carr), decided to ditch the booze for 12 months. What happened in the year that followed would change the trajectory of Ash’s life forever.

In sobriety, Ash tapped into his superpower and developed a mindset that enabled him to go from striving to thriving in all facets of his life. It’s now been over five years since he took his 12-month sobriety pledge and he’s never looked back!

We chatted across a range of topics including:

• The detox “re-tox” cycle – 9:50
• Life on the road – 17:00
• Taking a year off the booze – 32:17
• Making sobriety your superpower – 37:10
• The practicality of manifesting 42:00
• Mastering your mindset – 51:45

You can find Ash Grunwald using the links below:

In this week’s episode I’m joined by Courtney Anderson, a Sober Coach, Podcast Host and the author of Sober Vibes: A Guide to Thriving in your first three months without alcohol.

Courtney is the founder of National Sober Day and the founder of Sober Vibes, an online community for the sober and sober curious. She believes in empowered sobriety and breaking stigmas of addiction and recovery.

We spoke about a range of topics including:

• How to prioritise sobriety as a busy parent – 5:00
• Seeing life in colour – 13:20
• Childhood trauma and growing up quickly – 18:00
• The progressive nature of addiction – 22:00
• A life-saving ultimatum – 28:00
• Why a label is helpful not harmful – 34:47
• Protecting your energy – 39:15
• Staying in your lane – 48:00

In this week’s episode I’m joined by Addiction, Trauma and Codependency Coach Drew Wild.

Drew is on a mission to change the conversation around addiction, challenging people to approach the understanding of these compulsions through the lens of trauma. He believes trauma underpins most dependencies and is prevalent for those who are unable to process their emotions.

With his own lived experience in drug and alcohol addiction, Drew speaks from a place of understanding and embodiment while living a recovered life in his own unique way.

We spoke about a range of juicy topics including:

• Playing the chameleon – 9:00
• Not tracking your sobriety date – 15:00
• Developmental trauma – 23:00
• The origin of attachment styles – 43:00
• Somatic Healing – 49:23
• Healthy relationships and the key to communication – 54:14
• Changing the landscape of addiction education – 1:06:20

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with sobriety hype girl and host of the Happiest Sober podcast, Madeline Forrest.

Having made the decision to get sober at 27 years old, Maddy is now on a mission to inspire others to create an awesome alcohol-free life. Maddy is so full of energy and epitomizes the positive changes you can expect when you choose to live life sober. When she’s not running her online community, you’ll find her hosting sober retreats all around the world.

This conversation was just like having a cuppa with your sober bestie so sit back and relax as we cover a range of topics including:

• What to expect on a sober retreat – 1:50
• Enjoying concerts sober – 7:00
• Growing up around alcoholism – 9:00
• Hangxiety – 18:50
• The honest truth that sobriety can be hard – 28:30
• Getting sober in your twenties – 33:15
• Sober dating – 37:33
• The edge of your comfort zone – 45:23

In this week’s episode I sat down with worldwide speaker, best-selling author, and facilitator for Access Consciousness, Brendon Watt.

Brendon specialises in helping others to overcome addiction, as he too walks the path of recovery and sobriety.

We touched on a range of interesting topics including:

• Happiness being an inside job – 2:30
• Accessing consciousness – 10:00
• Showing up authentically – 21:00
• Not being ruled by your thoughts and emotions – 28:28
• Being blindsided by relapse – 39:11
• Sitting in discomfort – 42:45
• Making it stick – 51:40

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with Coach, Mentor and mum of two Karina McKenna.

Karina was just 23 years old when she gave up drinking and has spent the past 13 years navigating how to do life sober.

In this conversation Karina shares how she’s managed to face adversity without anything to blunt the edges and the lessons she’s learnt in the messiness of life.

We dove into a range of topics including:

• Running away from reality – 6:14
• Generational Trauma – 14:30
• Surviving a car accident – 23:30
• Internal Family Systems Therapy – 29:00
• Continuing to show up – 35:00
• Having a spiritual barometer – 44:12
• Living in the day – 48:15

In this week’s episode I sat down with host and creator of the Sober Friend’s podcast Matt Jerr. Despite being exposed to heavy drinking and the negative impacts of addiction from a young age, Matt struggled to admit he had a problem with alcohol because he wasn’t a daily drinker.

As someone who was high-functioning and good at hiding their drinking, Matt disguised his habit behind the label of “wine connoisseur,” until his mental health started to decline and there was nowhere left to hide.

Through the support of 12-Step, Matt has been sober for over nine years now and is dedicated to supporting others through their own recovery journey.

He is also the nicest person on the internet!

• In this conversation we cover a range of topics including:
• Questioning your conditioned thought – 3:17
• Attraction not promotion – 6:00
• Wine connoisseur or alcoholic? – 14.32
• Anxiety and Childhood Trauma – 19:14
• High Functioning Alcoholic – 29:11
• The danger of mixing anti-depressants with alcohol – 37:49
• Your first 12 Step meeting experience – 40:10
• Giving it away to keep it – 49:25

In this week’s episode I’m joined by multi-talented actress and former model Brandy Ledford. There’s a high chance you’ve seen Brandy on your screens as she’s appeared in critically acclaimed movies and TV series including Baywatch, Modern Family and Rat Race.

Yet Brandy’s focus today goes beyond her successful acting career. With over 11 years of sobriety, Brandy’s ultimate goal is to spread positivity and use her experiences to make a difference within the recovery community.

This is a spiritual conversation and I encourage you to tune in with an open mind.

We spoke across a range of topics including:

• Hiding behind a smile in Hollywood – 4:35
• Going to jail as a teenager – 10:15
• Doing the drill on a daily basis – 14:27
• Developing faith in a Higher Power – 23:11
• The “isms” – 30:00
• Rebuilding your life after relapse – 40:43
• Staying rigorously honest – 48:13

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with PhD student and fellow sober human, Aaron Thomas. Aaron Is currently working in the field of Clinical Psychology – specifically, looking at behavioural neuroscience, or put simply, why people make decisions.

Some of Aaron’s most fascinating research is around the hereditary nature of addiction which he explains can be highlighted through the study of genetic mutations. Aaron shares why addiction is in fact scientifically proven to be a disease and how scientists are researching impulsivity as a marker for predisposition.

Just as interesting as his work, is Aaron’s own personal story of addiction and recovery, which he shares with us in this conversation.

Now this episode is a little longer than usual but there was just so much to gain from this conversation and I know you’ll benefit from having learned something too.

During this chat we cover a range of topics including:

• Carrying existential guilt – 9:42
• How alcohol impacts us differently – 13:00
• Being medicated as a child – 20:00
• An overdose, a psych ward and a spiritual awakening – 30:00
• Addiction is not a moral failure – 41:00
• Building a BIG life in recovery – 45:00
• The second surrender – 50:00
• Unpacking the neuroscience of addiction – 1:00:49
• Psychedelic treatment – 1:13:20

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down Health and Wellness Coach Deb Masner. Deb is a mum of two, a registered nurse, podcaster and a self-proclaimed alcohol free badass. She’s also the founder of Alcohol Tipping Point – a place where you can find free resources to support your sober journey.

As a registered nurse Deb has a deep understanding of the negative impact alcohol has on the body and she’s sharing these insights here with us on the podcast.

After years of trying to moderate, Deb made the decision to quit drinking on the 1st of January 2020 and has made it her mission to help other people find freedom in living alcohol-free.

In this conversation we chat about:

• Trying to be the perfect parent – 6:10
• Generational trauma – 11:30
• Taking a break and Alcoholidays – 23:15
• The lesser-known health implications of drinking – 36:45

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with Matt Pink, an alcohol-free coach and entrepreneur. Matt quit drinking in April 2020 and since that time has taken the sober world by storm. He’s not only published a best-selling book but is also the co-founder of Dryy – an online and offline community that welcomes anyone wanting to try an alcohol-free lifestyle.

Matt’s life today couldn’t be more different than the one he was living 10 years ago. After experiencing a life-changing tragedy in 2013, Matt found himself self-medicating with drugs and alcohol for many years. A chance encounter with a complete stranger on the streets of London helped Matt to open his eyes and change the direction of his life.

From losing everything, to rebuilding a life where he’s the happiest he’s ever been, Matt’s story is one of hope and strength.

We chatted about a range of topics including:

• Staying open to spirituality – 14:00
• Using drugs to manage your drinking – 21:00
• Find happiness on the inside – 26:40
• Sobergasms – 31:00
• Sober Parenting 33:40
• Sober Entrepreneurship – 37:18

It’s an extra special episode this week as we celebrate one whole year of Behind The Smile, and to mark the occasion I’ve invited back to the show, my dad Rod.

Dad was the first ever guest to join me on Behind The Smile and his episode (Ep 2. From Manic to Mindful) is still one of the most popular episodes to date!!

This time, we decided to hand the power over to you and have answered some of the brilliant questions you, the listeners sent in.

Here are the questions we covered in this chat:

1. What’s been the biggest lesson you’ve learned in starting the podcast and becoming an entrepreneur?
2. What’s been the hardest thing to overcome outside of sobriety?
3. What’s your mental health journey been like over the years, and what are your thoughts on medication in recovery?
4. Was there a big drug taking culture at your high school? Did your friends do it too?
5. As a parent, what advice would you give to others raising children in regard to addiction awareness?
6. Growing up in an alcoholic home, what would you have wanted your parents to have done differently?

This was a deep conversation that at times felt like a low-key family therapy session. What I love about my conversations with dad is that we speak openly and from the heart, leaving nothing unsaid.

To everyone that has supported Behind The Smile over the past 12 months, I can’t thank you enough. Each of you are in my heart and together we will continue to remove the stigma around mental health, trauma and addiction.

When we recover loudly, no one need suffer in silence. xoxo

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with sobriety speaker, author and fitness coach Justine Whitchurch.

Justine made the decision to quit drinking after developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol while trying to self-medicate her mental health.

Making the decision to get sober changed the course of Justine’s life and she’s spent the best part of the last decade finding her purpose in fitness and helping others.

Today, Justine is a passionate sobriety advocate, promoting a booze free lifestyle and working to create a world where being sober is just as normal as being a drinker.

We had an awesome conversation and covered a range of topics including:

• Self-medicating your mental health – 5:30
• Living with OCD – 12:00
• Escaping with alcohol – 16:30
• Normalising sobriety – 26:00
• The lengths we go to – 32:30
• Finding fitness and purpose – 39:43

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with AOD support worker and sober human Ian Burchall.

Ian made the decision to get clean and sober on the 15th of December 2016 after his dependence on substances took him to his darkest hour. In recovery, Ian found what he’d been searching for all along, a spiritual solution and a deeper connection to self.

From living a life driven by fear to finding himself on a continual path of growth, Ian’s story is both heart-wrenching and inspiring.

We covered a number of topics including:

• Shifting your perspective – 7:00
• Being in collision with your values – 21:05
• Switching the witch for the bitch – 28:00
• Calling off an engagement – 39:39
• Seeking spirituality – 49:51
• Clearing up the wreckage 58:36

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses sensitive topics including suicide, which may be distressing to some listeners.

If you or someone you know if struggling with mental health or addiction, please reach out for support. Some support options include:

• A healthcare professional

• Alcoholics Anonymous

• Lifeline or Beyond Blue (Australia)

• CheckPoint (global)

In today’s bonus episode I’m joined by a returning guest and friend of the show, Alcohol and Binge Drinking Coach Kathryn Elliott, to discuss some heavier topics relating to sobriety. Neither Kath nor I had any idea when we booked this interview that the topics would be so relevant to the place Kath would be in at the time of recording.

Navigating grief and hard conversations is a whole new experience in sobriety and Kath was so gracious to join me for this episode, to share with you all her experience relating to this in real time.

If you know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode please share with love.

When we recover loudly, no one need suffer in silence xx

You can find Kath using the links below:

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with mother of two and business director Deb Pascoe.

Deb describes how she drank for the best part of 35 years however her relationship with alcohol started to unravel when she moved to Singapore in her late 40s. Deb was self-medicating her declining mental health with booze, but struggled to see her drinking as problematic as she was holding down a job and her relationship.

It wasn’t until concerned family members intervened that Deb took an honest look at her life and made the decision to go to rehab. Now seven years sober, Deb is the most content she’s ever been as she’s finally found the peace she’d been searching for all along.

• We laughed our way through a list of topics including:
• Pseudo Spirituality – 3:45
• Being born an alcoholic 9:30
• A progressive disease – 17:30
• When the wheels fall off – 22:00
• Denial runs deep – 31:54
• Enlarging your spiritual life – 41.00
• Drop the rocks – 45:20
• Being a grateful alcoholic – 49:15

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with Australia’s leading masculinity mentor Tyran Mowbray.

Tyran started his recovery journey nine years ago when he gave up porn. Six years after that he stopped using drugs and as of 2021 he reframed his relationship with alcohol.

Tyran is doing powerful work in supporting men to break down their walls and barriers of self-criticism and eliminate shame around their natural healthy masculine expression.

Tyran’s personal journey has taken him from the mountains in India to a sex-cult in New Zealand and we talk about it all in this epic conversation.

Some of the topics we covered include:

• Having an alter-ego – 12:00
• Changing generational patterns – 15:47
• Experiencing a breakdown in your twenties – 21:10
• Porn Addiction, tantra and intimacy – 29:30
• Shattering the masculine archetype 48:15

In today’s bonus episode we’re kicking off Season 3 of Behind The Smile Podcast! And to say a big thank you I’ve decided to share with you all the secret sauce that makes up my morning routine.

Over the past few years, I’ve had countless people ask me “what’s your secret?” The truth is, there’s a number of ingredients I put into the recipe I call life, but one of the key elements is my morning routine.

If there’s a question or topic you’d like me to cover in future episodes, be sure to let me know by reaching out on my socials.

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with mum of three, podcast host and sober coach Teri MacGilbert, aka @SassySoberMum.

Teri grew up in an environment where daily drinking was the norm. As an adult she came to find herself being drawn to alcohol as a way to comfort and manage stress. After a few short sober stints, Teri ditched the drink for the last time in April 2019 and hasn’t looked back.

In choosing the sober path, Teri has broken a generational drinking cycle and is now an example to her daughters that she can be proud of. Teri’s life has grown exponentially over the past four years and her story is proof that you truly can do it all in sobriety!

Some of the topics we cover in this conversation include:

• Gaining extra hours and how to maximise them – 7:25
• The normalisation of booze – 18:48
• Finding comfort and consequences – 25:00
• Being a dry drunk – 29:09
• Making peace with relationships – 33:50
• Being a sober and present mum – 39:35

In this week’s episode I sat down with drug and alcohol counsellor Benn Veenker. Benn made the decision to get clean and sober on the 31st of August 2012 and has made it his life’s work to help other people rehabilitate from addiction.

Benn shares openly about his journey to rehab and the steps he took to turn his life around. His story is a heart-warming testimony of the healing that can occur when you choose to show up every single day in your recovery. How even loved ones lost can re-emerge and how life can blossom beyond your wildest dreams.

Some of the topics we discussed include:

• Having no off switch – 7:00
• Connecting to true purpose – 16:40
• Choas and consequences – 21:30
• Addiction and mental health darkness – 25:40
• Working your recovery – 36:15
• Abstinence and harm reduction – 44:25
• Healing “lost” relationships – 47:35

In today’s bonus episode, I’m joined by AA member Robert P, to discuss the evolution of a movement known as Secular AA.

I knew very little about this topic before speaking to Robert and jumped at the opportunity to learn more about an alternate approach to sobriety.

As a passionate member of AA with over thirty years sobriety, Robert offers great insights into this lesser-known branch of a worldwide organisation.

If you or someone you know if struggling with mental health or addiction, please reach out for support. Some support options include:

• A healthcare professional

• Alcoholics Anonymous

• Lifeline or Beyond Blue (Australia)

• CheckPoint (global)

In this week’s episode I’m chatting with author, podcaster and mum of three Victoria Vanstone.

Vic grew up in the UK, in an environment where drinking and socialising went hand-in-hand. As a result, Vic developed an identity as “the party-girl,” and was forever surrounded by people who drank the same way she did.

Vic continued drinking and partying into her thirties however the impact on her mental health was starting to take its toll. Crippled with anxiety and a looming sense of guilt and shame, she knew she needed to take a break from booze.

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with best-selling author, former professional heavyweight boxer and Ted X speaker, Ed Latimore.

Growing up in the projects, Ed was exposed to numerous adverse childhood experiences, and turned to alcohol in his teenage years as a way to be socially accepted.

Ed knew he had a problem with drinking when he found himself turning to the bottle in an attempt to change the way he felt. Unable to hide behind a smile any longer, he made the decision to get sober in December 2013.

Ed likes to say he’s lived four different lives, with his most recent chapter in sobriety being his most rewarding yet. Ed is on a mission to teach people what he’s learned the hard way, so that they can live a better life themselves.

In this conversation we talk about:

• Addiction being the disease of denial – 10:00
• Growing up in the projects – 19:30
• Internal scars and resentments – 23:30
• The social pressure to drink – 35:00
• Relapse and recovery – 44:09
• Labels and identification – 51:30

In today’s bonus episode, I’m joined by my friends Mitch and Gab to share with you all what really goes on inside the walls of a rehab.

Having all had our own unique experiences in rehab, we chat about everything from what an average day looks like, to the things you least expect and also our biggest lessons.

If you love Behind The Smile and want to support the show you can do this easily by hitting FOLLOW in your podcast app and leaving a review!

In this week’s episode I’m sitting down with Cole Chance, an American yoga teacher who now calls Australia home. Cole has been a seeker all her life. This journey has taken her to the depths of addiction, all around the world and now onto the path of yoga and recovery.

As a trauma-informed yoga teacher with over nine years sobriety, Cole shares a wealth of experience and wisdom.

In this conversation we talk about:

• Wearing a crown and a smile to rehab – 7:00
• Life as a seeker – 15:00
• Discovering the golden ticket – 20:00
• Trauma and shame – 22:50
• The blurry bottom – 30:00
• The turning point – 40:00
• Yoga and spirituality – 45:00
• Compassionate Inquiry – 49:50