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Ask for Candy

Ask for Candy

By Candice Harper
Matchmaking, mating, and dating in a global crisis. This is usually a love and relationship podcast for women who have been through some sh*t and are now on a personal growth journey because they want healthy relationships or no relationships at all. Because of Covid-19, we're gonna pivot a little but it's still a no-nonsense, deep-diving conversation into controversial personal growth and relationship topics with a no-shame attitude. #connection #digitalconnection #intimacy #relationships #mentalwellness #love #digitaldating #pandemic #coronavirus #relationships #community
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Talking Trash About Your Significant Other. Ep. 155
Who do you go to when your partner is on your last nerve? Sometimes when we're in a relationship, the only thing we know to do is seek solace in the listening ears of a friend or family member. However, is telling all your business sabotaging your relationship? Listen in. #relationships #dating #healthyrelationships #relating 
February 25, 2021
Soulmates Babies Careers Ep. 154
Do you expect to be able to immediately recognize your soulmate? Are you burning up with baby fever? Did you choose your career over family and motherhood? Frank Love and I go in on how to pick soulmates. The dangers of desperation. What I do about having chosen career over family. Listen in let us know what you think. #soulmates #biologicalclock #motherhood #singlehood
February 18, 2021
Romance & Racism Ep. 153
Is it racist to refuse to date outside your race? Frank Love and I dive into a conversation about modern race relations and romance. We barely scratch the surface, but I share some of the biases that come up in matchmaking. Frank shares his experience of always loving black women. 
February 4, 2021
What's Your Relationship w/ Your Word? Ep. 152
This is one of my favorite questions to ask potential matchmaking clients. I get to find out exactly how they view integrity. Does your partner know how to keep their word? Do you? Does your partner understand the power of their word? Do you? I also share some of the ways I didn't keep my word and how it affected important relationships in my life. #wordkeeping #promises #chronicallylate #communication
January 28, 2021
You say "I love you", but do you? Ep. 151
Frank Love and I chop it up about those three little words. Do your "I love you"s mean anything? How do you know? I've started questioning my own and it's taking me down an enlightening path. #relationships #iloveyou #dating #marriage #lovecoach
January 21, 2021
Fear of Commitment or Gut Instincts? Ep. 150
I started listening to a book entitled “Men Who Can’t Love” Written by Julia Sokol and Steven Carter. It has me asking the question "Is it really that so many men are afraid to commit?" What if it's just their intuition saying we're not the ones to commit to? Is it easier to think that there must be something wrong with THEM? Are we letting it be ok to NOT be every man's cup of tea? Get into this conversation with me and Coach Frank Love. Let us know what you think. #fearofcommitment #datingadvice #relationships
January 14, 2021
When Do You Tell Your Story? Ep 149
Relationship Coaches Candice and Frank Love chop it up about telling the whole story in romantic relationships. When do you share your secrets? What if you're with a snoop? Are you a mystery to unfold or a wide-open book? Join us for the conversation and leave us comments and feedback to weigh in with your thoughts. #relationships #beinginlove #intimacy #gettingaquainted
January 7, 2021
Do You Need to Be Validated? Ep. 148
Do these jeans make my butt look fat?... Is validation really all that necessary in a relationship? When you need your partner to affirm you, how do you go about asking for it? Join us for this convo where we talk about all things singled and coupled. Also, don't miss this week's Matchmaker question... "How do I respond when someone asks me why I'm still single?" 
December 31, 2020
Introducing Frank Love Ep. 147
I have a new co-host, and he's a Relationship Coach too. Happily married, father of six and author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving, Frank Love is joining the podcast for rich and revealing conversations. Send in your questions Visit Frank at
December 17, 2020
Priceless Gifts That Last Forever Ep. 146
Unprecedented times call for un-present-dented measures. It's Holiday time! Will the usual electronics and fuzzy slippers suffice after the year we’ve had? Tonight I’m going to talk about gifts we can give ourselves and each other that will cost us nothing, last forever, and be worth more than anyone could ever afford.
December 10, 2020
Ways to Enjoy Praise Ep. 145
If you’ve been listening, you know that I always say that every good relationship is a series of moments that worked out well way more often than not. Praise is one of those things that, exchanged generously with authenticity, can mean the difference between loving to be around someone and avoiding them like the plague. Have a hard time accepting or giving praise? Listen in and let us know what you think.
December 3, 2020
Who Signed Me Up for Struggle Love? Ep 144
Were you automatically added to the national registry of “wrong” relationships? Listen in and find out for sure. I’ll also share how you can have your name deleted and go from struggle to ease.
November 26, 2020
The Bio Clock of Doom Ep. 143
On this show, I talk about what it means to balance the pressures that we put on ourselves based on science, circumstance, and society and how to not give in to these pressures and keep hope alive. We can have the love and life we dream of but we gotta know how to allow it into our lives. Join me, let’s talk about it.
November 19, 2020
Holi-Dating Through COVID-19 Ep. 142
We’re going to talk about all the ways the Pandemic is helping to take the pressure OFF of being single over the Holidays, and how single people can be a part of the connection revolution and still find love if they want to, while still being safe and responsible. If you’re at all worried about isolation over the Holidays tune in. #dating #covid #holidating #covidanddating #safedating #compatability
November 12, 2020
Who's Really The Prize? Ep 141
Tonight we talk about “equality” when it comes to dating and relationships and the way we sabotage intimacy by buying into being “the Prize”. I’m also going to list how any man or woman can truly be a prize, no validation needed.
November 5, 2020
Should He Pay? Ep. 140
"Should he pay?" and all the other nerve-wracking ways we 'should' all over our dating and relating. Also, the most important thing to apply to dating in the age of COVID and social anxiety. 
October 29, 2020
Fat & Lonely Ep. 139
Countering the effects of COVID and beyond. Why fatness and loneliness have nothing to do with your relationship status. How to transform your body using your mind. #covid19lbs #quarantineweight #fatandlonely #loneliness
October 22, 2020
Commit to being Single AF! Ep 138
10 ways to make sure you stay single. The best thing is that none of them require much effort and you may already be doing them. I know I have been. Check it out, join the conversation, and see if you can come up with any more. #singleaf #lovecoach #dating #askforcandy
October 15, 2020
Relationships Are Hard? Ep. 137
Why it's the "hard" work that makes life so much easier. Let's talk about "The Work" and the amazing Byron Katie. Join this conversation and let me know how you think this could make a huge difference for you in your relationships. 
October 8, 2020
"Lovestuck" Finding Your Flow Ep. 136
All the questions to ask yourself to find out where you might be blocking your romantic desires. Whether you are stuck in a dead relationship, in a singlehood holding pattern, struggling with sexual dysfunction, too conscious about your body to engage in intimate interaction, or in any kind of love life rut whatsoever…
October 1, 2020
Matchmaker Secrets Part 2 Ep. 135
Ever wonder what kind of questions to ask to probe into a woman’s true character? Ever wonder how to ask them without sounding like an HR Director? Last week and this week I’m giving you a two-part series where I share the questions I ask potential daters and the methods I use for getting the most authentic responses. In essence, how I date the daters. This week, the women! You can ask these questions too. 
September 24, 2020
Matchmaker Secrets Part 1 Ep. 134
Ever wonder what kind of questions to ask to probe into a man’s true character? Ever wonder how to ask them without sounding like an HR Director? This week and next week I’m giving you a two-part series where I share the questions I ask potential daters and the methods I use for getting the most authentic responses. In essence, how I date the daters. Next week, the women! 
September 17, 2020
Missing My EX in a Pandemic Ep. 133
Whether it's loneliness, anxiety, or the need for reconnection with an ex, sometimes you gotta ask yourself... Would I be feeling like this if we weren't in a global pandemic? #sexwithex #datingincovid #lovecoach #matchmaker #dating #relationshipgoals
September 10, 2020
What Healthy Couples Do Ep. 132
Last week we talked about what coupled people do that single people don’t. This week we’ll talk about what happily coupled people do that unhappy couples don’t, we’ll also talk about what single people do that people who want out of relationships don’t. Confused? Listen in and I’ll iron it all out for you. #relationships #relationshipgoals #couplegoals #communication #relationshipadvice #breakingup #relationshiipfix
September 3, 2020
What Coupled People Do That Single People Don't Ep. 131
A look at what people who are in relationships do compared to those who are not in relationships. If you’re single and looking to be coupled, we’ll lay out some healthy ways to learn from coupled people and start something long-term.
August 27, 2020
Romantic Green Lights: Forget Red Flags! Ep. 130
Some people spend their entire dating life looking for what’s wrong with other people and some people are happy and in love. Join us for this juicy convo where we talk about why the people who are looking for red flags will never be the people who are happy and in love. What are you focusing on in your dating life? #estherperel #matchmaker #datinginapandemic
August 20, 2020
Is Love Hopeless for Women Over 40 Pt. 2 Ep 129
Let’s talk about marginalization in love and dating spaces and the narrative that Love Coaches, Gurus, and Matchmakers perpetuate about women over 40, and with good reason. This show is all about truly understanding that our love lives are not a consequence of the state of the world but a product of our own long-held beliefs. How do we transform and experience dream romance? Is it even possible? Tune in to join the conversation. We welcome comments, questions, and discourse. Rebecca Lynn Pope, Dr. John Gray
August 13, 2020
Is Love Hopeless for Women over 40? Ep. 128
I talk about my recent discoveries of Kevin Samuels and Rebecca Lynn Pope, lifestyle and dating coaches who have a particular take on women and dating. I also talk about “The Chrysalis”. What it really takes to go from where you are to where you want to be.
August 6, 2020
I'd Rather Just Eat Ep. 127
Why does it feel like my love life (or any other area of life) is giving me a weight problem. What is my relationship with food? What do I do when I love all the food that does not love me? How did I break up with fat and why is it taking so long to move out? Join the conversation and leave your comments.
July 30, 2020
Stop looking for Chemistry and Find Love Ep 126
The problem is not that we want “chemistry” it’s that we think it’s something that will magically appear and confirm the other person’s relationship worthiness. Tonight we talk about how to develop physical attraction in a sustainable way that supports having a relationship.
July 23, 2020
Why Will & Jada Work Ep. 125
Tonight on AFC we talk about Will and Jada on the last Red Table Talk and why what a lot of people are calling “weirdness” really works. We’ll also talk about why we don’t have to be rich or famous to make relationships work for us as well. Stick around til the end for “Matchmaker Moments” and leave your advice for my latest client in the comments.
July 16, 2020
"I Need A Man!" and Coping Skills. Ep 124
Coping Skills vs. Coping Mechanisms. One will get you where you want to go, the other is a cycle of instant gratification and guilt. Join us as we talk about developing coping skills and answering the age-old life question... "Now what?"
July 9, 2020
The Lost Art of Dominance and Submission Ep. 123
Exploring "365 Days" the Netflix movie and why it's so wildly popular. How to bring all the intensity and passion in your love life without the glamorized dysfunction. Tired of only watching other people live passionately? This show is for you. 
July 2, 2020
Love in A Brutal Society Ep 122
"Love's in need of Love today", Let's talk about the brutal society we live in and the way we can choose to contribute to the brutality or the LOVE.
June 25, 2020
How to Matter In Your Personal Life Ep. 121
So for black lives and all people of color right now mattering is very relevant. We also want to remember that not only do we matter on a global level but also on a micro-level in our individual lives. In this show, I list some things we can do for ourselves individually in support of expressing that we matter in our everyday life. 
June 11, 2020
Being Valuable In America Ep. 120
What does it mean for your life to have value? Is it possible as a person of color in America? What does it have to do with love? Why did I feel it is so important to speak lovingly to my people? 
June 4, 2020
Water Yoga Sex Magic Ep. 119
Between pandemics, racist murders, dangerous confrontations and just trying to avoid getting coughed on, the last thing we want is to be taken down by our own fear. In 2013 I wrote a blog article called "Water, Yoga, Sex, Magic" about epic level self-care. In 2017 I edited and re-published it to my blog. I was reading it today and was amazed at how well it has held up and for our personal use, it may be even more relevant now.
May 28, 2020
I'm Not Mad But She's Still Crazy Ep. 118
Getting right with Mom for the sake of my love life. I read excerpts from my upcoming book. If you've ever wondered why you seem to constantly get in your way with relationships. If you've ever suspected that it may have something to do with your relationship with your Mother. Check out this episode. 
May 21, 2020
Why Are Old Men Getting Hard? Ep 116
Does it seem like men of a certain age are becoming harder to date or even get to know? Tonight I talk about some recent run-ins with rigidity that sound a lot better than they were. I also talk about Michael Castleman's article from AARP "The Man's Guide to Dating After 50". Let's deep dive. Shall we? 
May 14, 2020
The Itch to Fix Other People & How to Scratch It. Ep. 115
This week's podcast is all about soothing the itch to fix so we can pull people closer rather than pushing them away. Specifically, I ask/answer... Where does the itch to fix come from? Why is it problematic? How do we soothe it so it doesn't become an angry rash? Have you grown tired of only being with partners or in relationships you have to carry? Do you want to know what it's like to run alongside someone and cheer?
May 7, 2020
Has Covid19 Killed Casual Sex? Ep. 114
Horny or not, it may be time to put our lady bits and man parts away. Tonight on the podcast, I'm talking about how Covid19 and contagion has many of us valuing life over orgasms in a way we've not seen since the start of the AIDS epidemic. This is especially important if you're into butt stuff. Also, find out some steps to develop a relationship while social distancing. 
April 30, 2020
The Magical Art of Cutting the Crap and FInding Love Ep. 113
If you've gone through year after year single but wanting a relationship, you may be wondering wtf. How do I turn what I want into what I have? In this show, I talk about how getting out of our own way is an art form and you are creative enough to master it. 
April 23, 2020
Love In The Time of Covid19 Ep. 112
10 Ways the quarantine can make it easier to create healthy, sustainable love. Want to know how you can turn your singlehood or bad relationship into healthy, real love during this pandemic? Let's talk about all of the opportunities that being in quarantine provides for people who want to have a sustainable, deep-level romantic connection. 
April 16, 2020
Smart, Successful, & Self-Sufficient Ep. 111
What modern single women have to give up if they truly want a healthy sustainable relationship. Yes, I'm going down the list. No, it's not what you think. I'm here to support your transformation from single woman to woman in a healthy relationship. 
April 8, 2020
Healing Financial Trauma For Your Relationship Ep. 110
The narratives that we tie to money and the effects they have on our ability to have healthy romantic relationships, in or out of a pandemic. What's your relationship with money? What are you dealing with during this pandemic when it comes to money and your partner?
April 1, 2020
10 Signs of Someone Who's Really Relationship Ready Ep 109
What are the signs I look for to determine whether a client is really relationship ready? Are you really ready for a relationship? Here's why you may not have the one you want... yet. #askforcandy #relationships #dating #matchmaking
March 26, 2020
How To Have An Intimate Video Date. Ep. 108
The future is now and right now we have every reason to learn how to get even more creative with our digital intimacy. Months ago I would have said "Digital intimacy, that's not a thing. It's an oxymoron." My how a pandemic can alter one's beliefs. Listen til the end where I give steps to have an awesome, connective video date from the point of view of a relationship coach and professional matchmaker. 
March 18, 2020
Are You Really Ready for A Relationship or Are You Too Independent? Ep. 107
Find out the three questions to ask yourself before deciding you are ready for a relationship. Also, what to do if you've been told you're "too independent" to find a man. 
March 10, 2020
What About Your Friends? Ep. 106
Guest Co-Host Patrick L. Riley stands in for Nneka for the friendship show. It's Women's History Month and Patrick's book "That's What Friends Are For" Celebrates all the famous and notorious women who've inspired him. Oprah Winfrey, Diana Ross, Patti Labelle, Tracee Ellis Ross, Taraji P. Hensen, and many many more. We also talk about the influence our friendships can have on our romantic lives and how to discern a healthy friendship from a toxic one. 
March 3, 2020
12 Secret Practices of the Happiest Black Women
It's Black History Month!! Join Candice Harper & Nneka Celebrities Bell for "10 Secret Practices of the Happiest Black Women"  What are you putting into practice in your daily life? Have you ever felt like it's hard to maintain your happiness and mental health? If so, welcome to the club. Tomorrow night we're going to share some practices, come share yours as well or just listen in. 
February 25, 2020
"The Photograph" A (no spoiler) review and Valentine's Weekend. Ep. 104
We breakdown the real purpose of Valentine's Day whether you're single or in a relationship and share our thoughts on the romantic film starring Issa Rae and Keith Stanfield. 
February 18, 2020
Is Social Media Wrecking Your Romance? Ep. 103
Candy and Nneka  breakdown Tiffany Grace Reyes' article from  The Happy Couple’s Guide to Social Media Etiquette Should friends "friend" your lovers? How much relationship info is too much? Between you and your partner, are you the only one "In a Relationship" online
February 11, 2020
Do You Have The Perfect Relationship History? Ep. 102
How many times have you been married? Got kids? What about Ex's? What have you been through? What's your romance history? Is it helping your current relationship? Is it helping you in your singlehood? Listen in. Nneka and I are joined by Pam and it's a chit chat for the ages. 
February 4, 2020
Defining "Sexiness" over 40 Ep. 101
Candy and Nneka talk about what's it like to maintain sexy while your body and mind is changing. Also, listen 'til the end for Nneka's new fashion segment "Nneka's fav thing this Weeka". 
January 28, 2020
How Do You Pick A Romantic Partner? Ep. 100
It's our 100th EPISODE!!! We're talking about making matches and picking partners. What's your criteria? If you're in a committed relationship that's happy and healthy, what did you do to attract your partner? Join the convo. 
January 21, 2020
Can An Addict Truly Love You? Episode 99
Candy and Nneka ask and answer questions about Love & Addiction. *Find out how to assess whether you're with an addict. *What to do if you're deeply committed to an addict. *How to define love for yourself in a way that frees you from a partner's addiction. #love #addiction #relationships #healthyrelationships #personalgrowth #sefacceptance 
January 14, 2020
New Decade/New Year/New CoHost w/Nneka Bell!! Ep. 98
Meet my new co-host and find out what's in store for 2020! We're covering all the hot topics. 
January 7, 2020
Shame or Constructive Criticism? When Adult Mothers & Daughters Clash!! Ep. 83
What's a spiritual way to overcome clashing with your Mom? Especially if she's incredibly toxic. Coach Jeselle Eli joins me and we get into our own resentments, experiences, and resolutions. Want to get out from under a negative relationship with your Mom? Don't miss this episode. #mothers #motherdaughterrelationships #healthyrelationships #healing #podcastsabouthealing #personalgrowth #shame Originally Aired 9.16.19
December 31, 2019
Shameless Neo-Mommying w/Ashley Hearon-Smith Ep. 86
The beautiful co-star of "Scary Mommy Speaks" The Scary Mommy Podcast, Ashley Hearon-Smith stopped by the show and we talked about what it means to be a shame-free Mom in the Millenium and how it is possible to be BFF's with your Mom after working through some things.  Originally recorded 9.30.19 #scarymommy  #motherdaughter #momlife #relationships #healthyrelationships #lovepodcast #healthylove #loveyourself 
December 24, 2019
The Time and Place for Lizzo's Butt Cheeks is Now Ep. 97
 The Coochie Coach, Nikki Brown and I talk about the boundaries of "appropriateness" and whether adult butt cheeks really hurt children. #selfexpression #parenting #sportingevents #femalesexuality #femaleempowerment #buttcheeks #podcasts #wocpodcasters
December 17, 2019
From Toxic Relationships to Healthy Ones w/John Kenny Ep 96
Transformational Relationship Coach John Kenny and Candy talk about the number one way to recognize whether you're in a toxic relationship. Hint: It's not about what your partner does. We also talk the 6 tips for having a healthy relationship. #relationships #dating #personalgrowth #selfcare #healthyrelationships
December 10, 2019
Eternal Wellness & The Sexiness of Self Care Ep. 95
Tonight, yoga teacher and plant-based nutritionist Serena Sabela and I talk about wellness, sexiness, and healthy relationships.  This Winter we're cuddling up and talking about Love & Relationships around the World!! Ever wonder what practices and modalities people around the world are using to live healthier and love their relationships? We're talking to people from Bali, Melbourne, Sao Paolo, London...... We've also added a new Q&A segment. Tonight's question "I've lost my sexual attraction, can this relationship be saved?" Tune in to hear my answer. Want to have your question answered? Email us at
December 3, 2019
10 Steps to Happy w/Dr. Lindsay Weisner Ep. 94
Want to pull yourself up out of the darkness. Wondering how to deal with your Mom AND Mothering. This is is our last Mother/Daughter healing themed episode for the Season. Come join the convo as Dr. Lindsay Weisner takes us through the 10 Steps as outlined in her upcoming book "10 Steps to Happy". 
November 26, 2019
10 Reasons That Your "Boundaries" May Not Be Working.
We're healing Mother/Daughter relationships all through the Fall. One of the big buzzwords is "boundaries". If you are the adult child of a narcissistic parent or the parent, come join the conversation. 
November 19, 2019
Can Single Relationship Coaches Be Trusted? Ep. 92
Ever wonder how a single person has the audacity to call themselves a relationship coach? Do you question how a person without a partner could be giving you advice on how to get or keep one? Join us tomorrow night where we talk about the big misconception that's keeping too many of us unhappy, in or out of a relationship, AND I share why I have the audacity to call myself a coach.
November 12, 2019
5 Steps to Being Self-Defined and Happy without Overhauling Your Life Ep. 91
Let's talk about being who we are without needing to ask anyone's permission or wait for approval. Why we should never be afraid of being kicked off the island. 
November 5, 2019
10 Pitfalls of Not Knowing You're Enough Ep. 90
In this show, I talk about the ten pitfalls of not knowing you're enough and offer a few easy remedies to change to your mind. 
October 29, 2019
I'm Not Mad, But She's Still Crazy Ep. 89
Getting right with Mom for the sake of your love life.  In this episode, I talk about one of the major concepts of my book. How to heal yourself after surviving a toxic or narcissistic Mother. 
October 21, 2019
Mental Health Check-In Ask for Candy The Podcast Ep. 88
Ask for Candy - A love podcast about healthy relationships. 
October 14, 2019