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Asking for Myself

Asking for Myself

By tabú
tabú presents, Asking for Myself—a podcast where we peel back the layers of sexual wellness and dive into ‘taboo’ territory. Join me, Mia Davis, as I explore the realms of sexuality and mental health with renowned sexologists, educators, therapists, influencers, and a few of my unsuspecting friends.

Together, let’s navigate the topics you’re too afraid to talk about. 🙊

For more unlearning, head to talktabu.com and follow us at instagram.com/asking4myself. It’s time to start asking for YOURSELF.
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Currently playing episode

Are orgasms necessary for good sex? (ft. Portia Brown + Celine Manning)

Asking for Myself

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Why can't I enjoy oral sex?
Vulva Insecurities, Oral Sex, and Orgasm Land Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. Today we’re talking all things oral sex. In this episode, I am joined by sex therapist Casey Tanner and sexologist and educator Goody Howard. And I’ve got a lot of questions. Including? How can people overcome their vulva insecurities? Are vulva insecurities heightened when both partners share the same parts? What’s up with the oral sex gap? Why are blowjobs more normalized than going down on someone/cunnilingus or whatever you want to call oral sex on a vulva? Can we have a healthy sex life if we aren’t comfortable in our own bodies? What the heck is compersion and why is it important for sexual pleasure? How do givers get more comfortable receiving? Is it okay if your partner doesn’t want to go down on you? What can you do in this scenario if it’s an issue? Why is there an oral sex taboo in the Black community? Why isn’t oral sex seen as “real sex”? Trust me, you’re gonna want to tune into this juicy conversation. 💦 This episode is brought to you in part by Lorals, the world's first oral sex panties. Lorals gives you the power to LoveOralAlways. Use code TABU for 15% off your first purchase! And of course. We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's award-winning 👅 Seduction 👅 Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
57:53
May 17, 2022
How can I last longer in bed? and other penis questions (ft. Dr. Justin Houman + Bobby Box)
Penis Pleasure, Size, and Dysfunction Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. In this episode, I am joined by urologist Dr. Justin Houman and sex writer Bobby Box to discuss all things penises. 🍆 I don’t have one, but I do have questions. Such as? Can you masturbate too much? Can you make your penis bigger? Should you? Can you get pregnant from pre-cum? How can you last longer in bed? What is premature ejaculation vs. erectile dysfunction? What emotional, mental, or physical health conditions could be contributing to erectile dysfunction? Are there any risks to easy online access to ED medication? How can men and people with penises feel more comfortable opening up to their doctors? What is whisky dick and why does it occur? What can you do for pleasure beyond penetration? What is Viagra and how does it actually work? How can SSRIs impact sexual desire and erection strength or ability? How can you increase your sexual desire? How can you address mismatched libido in a relationship? How should you prepare for anal sex? What STIs should you get tested for and how often? How reversible are vasectomies and are they a viable form of birth control? What can cause male fertility? What does it mean to be vers/versatile? What is Peyronie’s disease? How can people with penises feel more confident and overcome their insecurities? And of course, does size really matter? Yes, this conversation is meaty. 😏 This episode is brought to you in part by ONE® Condoms. ONE products are uniquely designed for safe, healthy, enjoyable sex. With myONE® Perfect Fit, you have more than 60 sizes to choose from. Find your perfect fit and get 15% off using code TalkTabu. The other part? We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's 💥 Vibrating Dual Ring 💥  Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
55:19
April 28, 2022
Is my vagina normal? How do I get better care? (ft. Dr. Heather Irobunda + Dr. Staci Tanouye)
Vaginas, Periods, Birth Control, Culturally Competent Care, and Racism in Healthcare Is my vagina normal? Is birth control bad? How do I find an affirming gynecologist? Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to (well, hopefully not for long!). Today’s episode is about all things vaginal & vulvar care. If you have a uterus, chances are, you haven’t always had the most affirming care. Whether it’s problems with your period, hormonal imbalance, or unaddressed pain, there are any number of questions you may have for your gynecologist. In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Heather Irobunda, MD FACOG (@drheatherirobundamd) and Dr. Staci Tanouye, MD FACOG (@dr.staci.t). So, what do I ask in this episode? What is a gynecologist vs. OBGYN? What is it like to be a doctor on TikTok/Instagram? What are the benefits of social media education and what are the limitations? Are there alternatives to birth control? How do we get to the “root cause” of a medical issue? Is there such a thing? What does consent look like in a medical setting? How can we access sex-positive, trauma-informed care and advocate for ourselves in the exam room? How can we trust our gut but also our doctor when we don't feel affirmed as a patient of color or other marginalized identity? When is it time to find a new doctor and how can you find the right one for you, especially when most of us are reliant on insurance? What if I don’t have insurance? Is my vagina normal (and what do I do if it’s not)? Yes, we cover a lot of ground. You’re gonna want to take notes. 📝 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Coconu—100% safe, cruelty free, non-toxic, organic personal care. Embrace smooth sailing with Coconu’s all-natural lubes (both water-based and oil-based). Lube it up at coconu.com and use code TABU for 15% off! 💦 There's more? But, of course. We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's 😏 Irresistible 😏 Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
58:38
April 20, 2022
How do I reconcile my faith and sexuality? (ft. Irma + Erica Smith)
Sexual Shame, Abortion, Religion, and Pleasure Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. If you’re anything like me, you grew up with religious influences — namely, shame. In this episode, I am joined by Irma, CSE from Dirty South Sex Ed (@sexedwithirma) and creator of the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program, Erica Smith, M.Ed. (@ericasmith.sex.ed) to discuss purity culture, religion, and sexuality. So, what do I ask in this episode? What is the impact of growing up in the church and receiving abstinence-based education or any shame-based messaging? How can people, particularly people with vulvas or conditioned as women, become more comfortable with masturbation? How can we explore pleasure in a healthy, positive, shame free way? How can we access sex-positive, trauma-informed care? Why as a society are we so obsessed with abortion? Why is it abortion such a heavily debated and politically charge topic? What options exist for teens who want access to birth control, emergency contraception, and/or abortion care? Do they need their parents' consent? How much do things cost? Where can they go? What are crisis pregnancy centers and why should we avoid them? 🙅🏽‍♀️ Can religion and sex-positivity co-exist? How can you embrace both? How can parents raise sex-positive kids, especially if they are also religious? Yes, we get INTO IT! This episode is brought to you by our friends at Coconu—100% safe, cruelty free, non-toxic, organic personal care. Embrace smooth sailing with Coconu’s all-natural lubes (both water-based and oil-based). Lube it up at coconu.com and use code TABU for 15% off! 💦 There's more? But, of course. We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's 😇 Angel 😇  Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
01:05:52
April 14, 2022
What can I expect when I'm expecting? (ft. April Davis of The Vagina Blog)
What They Definitely Do Not Tell You About Pregnancy Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. In this episode, I am joined by April Davis of The Vagina Blog (@thevaginablog) to, of course, discuss all things vaginas. We exactly did we talk about? Feeling empowered and advocating for yourself as a patient in healthcare settings Birth control and reproductive healthcare shaming What to expect when you're not expecting, but you know, also when you are expecting - pregnancy and childbirth are a trip! What a doula is and how it's different than a midwife (and, how to find the right fit for your birthing needs) How to recognize when something's going wrong during childbirth and what your options are in the moment Epidurals and if they're necessary Body image and sexuality postpartum and during pregnancy How the partner of a pregnant person can feel more included in the process and embrace their partner's evolving body  How to become more comfortable naked and taking sexy photos This conversation is not for the faint of heart, but wow was it super eye-opening for me! Let's get into it. This episode is brought to you in part by ONE® Condoms. ONE products are uniquely designed for safe, healthy, enjoyable sex. With myONE® Perfect Fit, you have more than 60 sizes to choose from. Find your perfect fit and get 15% off using code TalkTabu. There's more? But, of course. We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's ✨ Kong✨  Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
57:57
June 10, 2021
Is "Instagram therapy" legit? (ft. Amanda White + Todd Baratz)
Therapy, Instagram, and Instagram Therapy Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. In this episode, I am joined by Amanda White, LPC (@therapyforwomen) and Todd Baratz, LMHC (@yourdiagnonsense) to discuss what it's like to be a therapist on Instagram and how reliable "Instagram therapy" is. We cover quite a lot of territory. Such as, you might be asking?     Balancing the personal with the professional Establishing boundaries with your followers The responsibility of mental health professionals to set an example and publish reliable, trustworthy, accurate content — is there an added expectation or obligation? Building anti-racism into your life and practice as a White clinician Navigating titles and credentials on Instagram — how to know who is "legit" Tips for creating content that is personally fulfilling and beneficial to your audience Mental health challenges that come along with using Instagram as part of your business model Pretty saucy stuff. Let's get into it!   This episode is brought to you in part by Awkward Essentials, personal solutions for hella personal problems. Check out dripstick, their after-sex cleanup sponge that broke the Internet at awkwardessentials.com! There's more? But, of course. We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? Honey Play Box's ✨ Radiant ✨  Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
01:15:38
June 08, 2021
How does non-monogamy work and is it right for me? (ft. Jo Encarnacion + Gabrielle Smith)
Navigating Ethical Non-monogamy Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. In this episode, I am joined by Jo Encarnacion aka @gofitjo and Gabrielle Smith to discuss all things polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. What exactly do we talk about?   Defining ethical non-monogamy — what is it? Are polyamory and ENM the same thing? What does "ethical" mean? How to explore non-monogamy and how to know if it's right for you The relationship escalator and how to hop off if it's not working for you Opening up conversations about jealousy and other fears/insecurities with your partner(s) Values and practices of ethical non-monogamy that can benefit monogamous relationships Sex-positive parenting and how to talk about ethical non-monogamy with your kids Yes, we cover a lot of tabú territory! Let's get into it. This episode is brought to you in part by #open, the polyamorous dating app for couples and singles who embrace ethical non-monogamy—from polyamory to threesomes, kinky dates, and more. #open is dating, updated. Download #open on the App Store or Google Play Store today!    That's right! We're back at it again with our amazing partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. Today's magical find? ✨ The Explosive ✨  Get your pleasure on! Ready to start #AskingForYourself? Join us on Instagram @asking4myself!
01:01:37
April 12, 2021
Are orgasms necessary for good sex? (ft. Portia Brown + Celine Manning)
Masturbation, Orgasms, Mindfulness, and Selfish Sex Welcome to the first episode of Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. In this episode, I am joined by Portia Brown, the Founder of Froetic Sexology, and Celine Manning aka Coach Baddie, the CEO of Sex With Baddies. Trust me, you are in for a serious treat with all the gems dropped this episode! Some of the topics we cover:  How growing up with religion can impact your sexuality  When sex is "over" and how you can keep it going if you want to  Why the orgasm gap (people with vulvas experiencing fewer orgasms than people with penises) exists and what we can do to close it   How to find the clitoris (where it at tho?)  The benefits of masturbation  Why the best sex is "selfish" sex  How to gain confidence in the bedroom (and elsewhere in your life)  What might be going on and what you can do if you simply can't orgasm  Overcoming distractions and insecurities during sex Yes, we cover a lot of tabú territory! Let's get into it. This episode is brought to you in part by Lorals, the world's first oral sex panties. Lorals gives you the power to LoveOralAlways. Use code TABU for 15% off your first purchase!  What's that? Another amazing sponsor? Shout out to our partners in sexual play and wellness, Honey Play Box. Get 25% off your purchase (+ other goodies you'll love) with code TABU. Today's magical Sex Toy Fairy 🧚‍♀ find? ✨ The Crave ✨ Get your pleasure on!   For more unlearning, check out talktabu.com and follow us on Instagram! Are you a mental health or sexuality professional? Join our Tabu Wellness community!
01:02:25
April 05, 2021