As Long As I'm Living
By Judith and Alina
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We started our podcast to document our journeys toward Happier Ever After and hope to provide support and connection for those who have lost a child to SIDS, stillbirth, TFMR, miscarriage, or any other type of baby loss. We’re sorry you need us, but we’re so glad you’re here!
As Long As I'm LivingJan 17, 2022
Hello, Goodbye
We're back from our break to say... we're not coming back (yet).
Alina is not doing well, and because she mainly edits the podcast, that means that we can't keep releasing new episodes right now. That's okay! We'll be back when we're ready.
Content note: Judith is pregnant, and (barely) announces in this episode.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- What a Shame She's Fucked in the Head sweatshirt (Etsy)
- ALAIL | Happy For You, Sad For Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: How to Take a Really Nice Bath (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: how to take a really good bath, from Judith, and some other cheap or free hobbies.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Trader Joe's Green Goddess dressing
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Books For If You Can Read (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: If you have regained the ability to read after your baby died, we have some recs for you! Judith's are sweet and fluffy. Alina's are about severe mental illness.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Lessons in Chemistry
- Icebreaker, Hannah Grace
- A Heart that Works, Rob Delaney
- Everything is Fine
- Juliet the Maniac
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Trash TV and Saltburn (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: we share a list of reality TV shows that will pass the time, and Alina talks around WTF happened in Saltburn. Watch that one at your own risk!
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Love is Blind Sweden
- Bad Vegan
- Six Feet Under
- Millionaire Matchmaker
- Indian Matchmaker
- Jewish Matchmaker
- Saltburn
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Scrolling TikTok (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: Judith wanders down a TikTok rabbit hole and shares her favorite follows.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Alina's Favorite Hate Watch (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: Alina talks about WTF is going on with generational-wealth-holder, beauty-pageant-contestant, homemade-butter-churner, and mother-of-8 Ballerina Farm.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Ballerina Farm at Mrs. World
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Youtube Travels (We're On a Break)
We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: Judith talks about her polygamist podcast obsession and shares a few ways to travel the world via Youtube.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
ALAIL Recommends: Taking a Break! (We're Taking a Break)
Listen y'all... we're tired, and we need a break! We'll be back with real episodes in a few weeks.
While we're on our podcast break, we're going to share some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts.
This week: what on earth to write in someone else's baby shower card.
XOXO
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL| Happy for You, Sad for Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)
- Five Dot Post greeting cards
- Em and Friends greeting cards
- Noble Paperie greeting cards
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Wonder Woman, Revisited
Back in our first month of the podcast, we talked about how the "old" Judith and Alina might never be back ever again, but who cares, because we're Wonder Women just the way we are. That said, we hated when people would tell us how brave and strong we were in our first year of the loss.
Now... 3 years out... we feel differently! (And also kind of the same.) Listen to hear how our thoughts have evolved on this topic over the past 2 years. Sending love to all of the Wonder Women, Men, Theys, and Thems out there navigating life without their babies.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's Friend Mel
Today on the podcast, we're joined by Judith's friend Mel!
Judith met Mel in the neighborhood about a year after Aiden died, and somehow managed to befriend her even though Mel is not a bereaved parent.
In this episode, we talk all about making new friendships after loss. We'll talk more about this on Instagram this week, so check in to see!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
2024 Is Going to Be Our Year!
2024, watch out! Don't even bother trying to be bad, because we are going to FORCE YOU TO BE GOOD. We are ready for a good year; we've earned it.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Happier New Year: 2022's new year episode, where we talk 2021 and 2022 horoscopes
- We Reject Our 2023 Horoscopes: 2023's new year episode, where we talk about our 2022 and 2023 horoscopes
- Judith's 2023 and 2024 yearly horoscopes! (Sagittarius)
- Alina's 2023 and 2024 yearly horoscopes! (Capricorn)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Day in the Life - Christmas 2023
Hi there! Alina live podcasted her Christmas Day. A lucky few of you listened live (hello!), but she's since edited this down to something a little more coherent.
Sending holiday season love to anyone celebrating or avoiding celebrating.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Crappy Birthday
Today on the podcast, we're honoring Judith's birthday (today!) by talking about how hard it is to celebrate another year without your baby.
Getting another year older when your baby never will is a tough pill to swallow. Listen to hear our thoughts on our birthdays and others after our babies died.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Bustle's article: "The Birthday Blues are a Real Thing"
- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Miranda's Mom Christine
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
May Their Memory Be a Blessing, another interview about religious support for grievers with Rabbi Antine
We're joined on the podcast again today by Rabbi Nissan Antine.
In this episode, we talk about what a clergyperson or rabbi does when they arrive at the scene of a death. We also talk about the difference between grief and mourning.
Do you know a clergyperson of a different faith that you'd like to see us interview for the podcast? Please let us know here!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Trauma, Blah Blah Blah
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
An Atheist and a Rabbi Walk Into a Cemetery, an interview about Jewish mourning practices with Rabbi Antine
Today on the podcast, we're welcoming our first clergyperson, Rabbi Nissan Antine.
In this episode, we talk about Rabbi Antine's role when a loved one dies and discuss the laws and structures that Judaism puts in place to support those who are mourning.
Do you know a clergyperson of a different faith that you'd like to see us interview for the podcast? Please let us know here!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Tefillin - Hester Panim - Crisis of Faith - Jewish mourning rituals
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
In this episode, we talk about how we keep Quinn and Aiden alive in our hearts and homes. This is one of the ways that we continue to parent our boys, and it feels like an important part of our life's work to make sure their memory doesn't die with them.
Do you have a special way or ways you include your baby in your life? We'd love to hear about it!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Resilience is a Muscle
We'd like to be a little less strong, but unfortunately we are still flexing our resilience muscles every single day.
We're heading into whatever fresh hell this new week has in store for us, armed with antidepressants, candles, and the new perspective granted to us by the loss. Join us!
P.S. The internet was not our friend during this recording. Apologies for the pure chaos that unfolds as we tried to record a simple life update!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Ten Percent Happier app (Alina's link - 30 days free!)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The Dead Teach the Living, more about infant autopsy and death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
"Mortui Vivos Docent" is Latin for the Dead Teach the Living, and it's also the TikTok handle of autopsy tech (and first responder) Ephina Disinger.
We are joined again today by Ephina and her coworker and friend chief deputy coroner Caroline Hanau. If you missed our first interview with Ephina and Caroline, you can find it here.
We have included an explicit content warning at the beginning of this episode, which we never do, because not everyone wants to hear about the ins and outs of dissecting a dead body. Please take good care of yourself and only listen if this interests you (as it does us), and remember that you can stop listening at any time.
You can find Ephina on TikTok.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- The Last Responders, part one of our interview with Ephina and Caroline
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Pop Quiz! All About As Long As I'm Living (Happy Anniversary to Us!)
How many guests have we hosted on As Long As I'm Living podcast? What is the only US state that we've never had a listener from? What is the name of the episodes where we talk about body image, grief in the media, or traveling while bereaved?
We quiz each other on these questions, and many more, in this special anniversary episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast! We're so glad you're here.
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You can find all of the old episodes we talk about HERE!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The Last Responders, an interview about infant death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
We are joined today by paramedic and autopsy technician Ephina Disinger and her coworker and friend chief deputy coroner Caroline Hanau.
If you had told us 3 years ago that we'd be interviewing experts in infant autopsy after our sons' sudden deaths... well, we wouldn't believe you. But we can't tell you just how HEALING this conversation was, not to mention fascinating.
Infants are not supposed to die. In this episode, we talk to Ephina and Caroline about the process of investigating why the death happened, whether there was foul play involved, and what it means for the rest of the family still alive.
This interview is not for everyone. We have included an explicit content warning at the beginning of this episode, which we never do, because not everyone wants to hear about the ins and outs of dissecting a dead body. That said, Ephina and Caroline spoke with such reverence and grace for their role as the voice of the voiceless, the dead. They treat the babies who come into their care with dignity, love, and care. Please take good care of yourself and only listen if this interests you (as it does us), and remember that you can stop listening at any time.
You can find Ephina on TikTok.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
2 Steps Backward, 3 Steps Forward
Sometimes we're able to zoom out and see a pattern in our grief... The worst weeks -- the ones where we're on the floor, sobbing, hating our lives -- are typically followed by time where we feel so joyful and happy to be alive.
Do you notice this patten in your grief?
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Oxygen Mask, a conversation about the experience of communal grief amidst global trauma
In case you missed all of the 10 million news stories, a new war has broken out in the Middle East. Judith is experiencing communal grief in real time as the horrors unfold, and it's triggering a lot of her own personal grief.
I (Alina) am really moved by Judith's compassion for everyone involved even amidst an active trauma affecting her community. I'm asking anyone choosing to listen to this episode to set aside their feelings about the politics that led to this situation and listen with open hearts for the grieving.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- As Long As I'm Living podcast | Flying Over Denver
- Inside Trader Joe's podcast
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
Meet Christine, Miranda's Mom! Judith and Christine met at a grief retreat in summer of 2021. They connected instantly, loss mom to loss mom, despite the fact that Christine's daughter was 25 years old when she died.
In this interview, we talk about the pros and cons of losing an adult child vs. a baby, the ways it's the same, and the ways it's different. Christine's no-nonsense approach to loss is so refreshing, and we think you're absolutely going to love her.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Life After Loss (Tennessee)
- Study regarding prolonged grief disorder in mothers
- Grief coach Rosie Dalton
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Sad Eyes, Broken Heart, Can't Lose (the Weight), a conversation about body image after baby loss
"You knew your body would change after having a baby, but you weren't prepared for how it would look with empty arms and heart broken." Unexpected Family Outing stuck with Alina from the first time she saw this post the month after Quinn died, and that's what today's episode is about.
The childbearing years are hard on everyone's bodies, but it's especially difficult when the baby, the one who is supposed to make it all worth it, dies.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Dead Baby Birthday
Quinn would have turned three last week, and Alina live podcasted for the lead up to and day of his birthday.
He was born, and then he died. And it's fucked up. He should be here.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- The reel Alina made about searching for a birthday card appropriate for a dead 3-year-old
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
From The Other Side Of The Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
Last week, we talked to her about how she found her niche in obstetrics, what it's like to tell a patient their baby died, and how she educates OBGYNs to provide better care for these patients. You can listen to that episode here!
This week, we talk about patient empowerment, care during a stillbirth or TFMR delivery, and pregnancy after loss.
You can find Dr. Florescue on Instagram!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Tips for Caring for Families who Experience Baby Loss, by Dr. Heather Florescue
- American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
- Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME)
- Empty Arms
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
Meet Dr. Heather Florescue, an OBGYN out of Rochester, NY. She's a mom of 3 (triplets!) and an advocate for better care for patients who experience baby loss.
Listen to this episode to hear all about how she found her niche in obstetrics, what it's like to tell a patient their baby died, and how she educates OBGYNs to provide better care for these patients.
Next week's episode will be a continuation of this conversation, where we talk about patient empowerment, care during a stillbirth or TFMR delivery, and pregnancy after loss.
You can find Dr. Florescue on Instagram!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Star Legacy Foundation and Summit
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Grief Retreat 2023
Hi friends! We are fresh off of our 2023 grief retreat, where we cried, laughed, swam, reminisced, ate snacks, lit candles, danced, drank beer, and grieved. This episode features audio we recorded live from the retreat. In it, we chat about why we go on this trip every year, reveal who composed our transition music (they're legitimately famous), talk about how we incorporate our boys into everyday life, and more. Enjoy!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Our crowdsourced playlist! (Thank you, Instagram community!)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
My Big Fat Griefy Wedding
Quinn's Mom got married! It was both amazing and a total emotional shitshow.
Listen to hear how wedding morning went, and stay until the end to hear the most beautiful speech ever from the bride's son's best friend's mother, Judith.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
For When You're On the Floor
This is an episode for you to listen to when you're on the floor. For when you're so sad, you can barely function. For when you're staring into the void, at the debris of your broken life. We have been there, and as we record this we are there right now. You are not alone.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- All There Is | Grateful for Grief (Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert)
- Comethru, by Jeremy Zucker featuring Bea Miller
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Loose Threads, a Conversation About Unrealized Dreams
All we really want in life is simple: an alive family and a place to call home. Somehow, we can't manage to make it happen.
We're back in the washing machine, and the loose threads of our broken dreams are getting stuck in the lint catcher... or something like that (you'll have to pardon our metaphors).
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- "It only hurts this much right now" is what I've been saying the whole time. - Labyrinth, Taylor Swift (and our Instagram post about it)
- ALAIL | Egg(s) on my Face
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Trauma, Blah Blah Blah
You know that voice in your head that says, "It's been long enough now... time to get over it" when you're having a bad grief day? Well, Alina heard that voice out loud from someone in real life, and we have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about it.
We are sick of grieving. We are sick of living this life after our babies' lives ended. We are sick of being affected daily -- no, hourly -- by the trauma of holding our beloved sons' dead bodies. But apparently the people in our lives are sick of it too.
Apologies for Aiden and Quinn making SO MUCH NOISE throughout this episode. (But hi, boys!)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Day in the Life - Alina bought a house, Judith bought a drill
We're trying something a little different this week on As Long As I'm Living... This is a day in the life! We recorded all of our phone conversations for a day, and Alina spliced them together into this only moderately coherent podcast episode. It's a little chaotic, but truthfully that's because our brains are chaotic! We talk about tons of very real stuff and a bunch of nonsense. We hope you enjoy!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Egg(s) On My Face: Alina's IVF Journey, Part 1
Alina is starting IVF... TOMORROW! (Well, tomorrow as we recorded this episode.)
It's a mixed bag of feelings. Grief, that she has to do it at all. Gratitude, that she CAN do it. Excitement to be finally, finally taking steps toward having a rainbow baby.
There's a short follow-up at the end with the results from her first egg retrieval -- it didn't go great. Stay tuned for her next steps and more on her IVF journey.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL: Interviews with Quinn's Stepdad: Part 1, Part 2
- ALAIL: TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
- Empty Arms Bereavement Support
- ALAIL: Consolation Prize
- ALAIL: Grief Needs a Witness, with Dr. Denise Mandel
- ALAIL: There Are No Silver Linings, with Dr. Denise Mandel
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
More from Quinn's Step-Dad, another very special interview with Alina's new husband, Tyler
Thank you to Tyler, Quinn's step-dad, for this emotionally vulnerable and honest interview.
In this episode, Alina talks to her new husband about what the bad days look like from his perspective, how he takes care of himself while taking care of Alina, the great and not-so-great things about their relationship, and so much more.
Tyler also answers questions from listeners... questions like:
- How has this influenced any conversations surrounding fertility/parenting?
- Do you wonder who the "old" Alina is or grieve not ever knowing her? What do you like the most about the "new" Alina?
- How has Alina evolved in the last year?
- What is your relationship with Quinn, and how do you honor a child you never met?
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Last week's episode, part 1 of our interview with Tyler!
- It's OK That You're Not OK, book by Megan Devine
- Instagram post of poem that Tyler mentions
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Love After Loss, an interview with Tyler, Quinn's Step-dad
Alina met Tyler on Hinge in November 2021, LIVE on an episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast (yes... this is real!). This weekend in July 2023 is their wedding!
Listen to this episode to hear what Tyler's thoughts were when he first met Alina and found out about her traumatic backstory, how he was initiated into the "dead baby club" by Alina (and Judith), and the way he approached supporting Alina in the early days of their relationship when they were still getting to know each other.
Stay tuned for next week's episode, which is a continuation of this interview. In that episode, you can find out about how he takes care of himself while taking care of a grieving person, how he develops a relationship with his dead step-son, and so much more.
I (Alina) love Tyler so, so much. He is the best possible step-dad for my perfect baby boy, and I can't wait for you to get to know him.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL: The Audacity of Hope (where Alina sees Tyler for the first time)
- ALAIL: Alina's Bad Day (an episode recorded the day after Alina's first date with Tyler)
- It's OK That You're Not OK, book by Megan Devine
- ALAIL: December 1st (where Alina yells at a lady on the street, around 16:00)
- ALAIL: Dead Bodies Aren't Decorations (where Judith talks about stealing dead baby décor her first introduction to Tyler!)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Live Again From Boston! (Returning to Work, Alina's Wedding, Chit Chat)
It's a holiday here in the US, but here is an episode from when we were together in Boston in March! We chatted about returning to work, Alina's wedding, and more! If you'd rather watch us in action instead of listening, you can do that HERE!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The Cost of Loss, Part 2: The Aftermath
Last week on As Long As I'm Living, we talked about how expensive the first few months are after your baby dies. This week, we're talking about the long-term costs: lost work, therapy bills, and fertility struggles are just a few of the things that we and you all in our community have experienced since our babies died.
To listen to the first episode in this series, click here:
The Cost of Loss, Part 1: The Early Days
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Things we talk about in this episode:
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
The Cost of Loss, Part 1: The Early Days
In this episode, we break down how much it actually costs when your baby dies. Headstones, ambulance bills, and autopsies... oh my.
Stay tuned for next week's episode, where we'll dive into the ongoing, long-term costs. The numbers are horrifying.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Study about Americans' readiness for a financial emergency
- Vitrified Studio infant urns
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Grieving Out Loud
Alina posted a reel on Instagram a few weeks ago, and it got big. It somehow found the eyeballs of non-loss parents, and they were NOT comfortable with being confronted with the reality of baby loss.
In this episode, we talk about how it feels to be a part of a movement to reduce stigma, what our approach is to gaining followers (spoiler: we want FEWER followers because that means fewer dead babies...), and the way it feels to have your grief judged by strangers.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Alina's reel about visiting Quinn's ashes
- The /r/twosentencehorror Reddit post about stillbirth
- Sad Comfy Couch podcast
- Guys and Grief podcast
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
It Still Hurts, an interview with veteran loss parent Jami, Lev's Mom
Meet Jami, Lev's mom! Jami is a coworker of Judith's, and when she found out that Judith had lost a son, she reached out immediately.
Jami's son Lev was stillborn in 2008, and although she has since gone on to have 4 living children (and 2 additional pregnancy losses), she still grieves Lev's loss every day. This episode is a conversation about the differences between early grief and later grief, but also a conversation about supporting your grieving coworker.
Jami is lovely -- and a podcast listener! We were so glad she came on to talk with us.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Grief is a Rollercoaster... Strap In!
We're feeling good! And we're on the floor! ...sounds about right.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarria
Here Comes the (Bereaved) Bride
Alina's planning a wedding, and Quinn should be there. She's wishing she could google: "how to incorporate dead child into wedding ceremony" but unfortunately there's not many people who have lived experience with this set of circumstances.
Does anyone have tips for her? Please help.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post
Meet Jess Walker, the founder of greeting card brand Five Dot Post.
Jess is an entrepreneur based in Long Beach, CA. She started designing cards in 2018 after her husband Tommy's cancer diagnosis and grew Five Dot Post throughout his four-year fight as a way to support her family while serving the cancer community. Her love of greeting cards and small business led to a heart-centered company whose goal is to make connections of all kinds more accessible.
"Don't know what to say? Let us help." became the motto that Five Dot Post is built upon. Tommy passed away on Thanksgiving 2021, and Jess is continuing her business as a way to honor his positivity, humor, and fight.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Happy For You, Sad For Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)
No matter how you felt about pregnancy announcements before, we're guessing your feelings have changed since your baby died. Ours certainly have.
It is not fair -- at all -- that our babies are dead and other people's babies are alive and kicking. It is a completely insane thing that our babies died, so of course we have thoughts and feelings that are absolutely insane. We need to forgive ourselves for having normal human emotions in response to a tragic situation.
Pregnant friends, we love you, but please don't listen to this episode. And yes, we do kind of hope you get stretch marks. Sue us!
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We're wishing our followers a gentle Mother's Day this weekend. We didn't touch it in the episode, but we know you're all feeling it. Sending lots and lots of love.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Pregnancy announcement post on @IWasSupposedToHaveABaby
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
TFMR: Termination for Medical Reasons. It's a particularly devastating type of baby loss, where parents are forced to make a "choice" that isn't really a choice at all.
Meet Alyssa, Adelyn's mom. She had to have a TFMR procedure to interrupt Adelyn's pregnancy in summer of 2022, right in the midst of Roe v. Wade being overturned here in the U.S. The fear and confusion surrounding her daughter's death added additional trauma to an already horrific loss.
Studies show that there are about 14 TFMRs every single day in the United States, making it twice as common as stillbirth... yet it is rarely talked about. Anecdotally, we have spoken to many loss parents who underwent a TFMR -- Alyssa included -- but didn't even know that there was a word for it, that there is a community of people who have had to make the same devastating choice, and that even though they made a decision to terminate a wanted pregnancy, they still deserve to grieve their baby's loss.
TFMR is baby loss. For more on this topic, listen to last year's TFMR Awareness Day episode, our interview with Alina's friend Jill.
TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
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Resources for TFMR Parents:
- Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
- Petals Charity (UK)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
How Are You? (We're Back From Our Break!)
We are back from our podcast break!
In this episode, we talk about how weird it is to answer the question "How are you?" because we're objectively AWFUL, but also sometimes okay? And frequently both at the same time.
We'll be back Thursday with a BONUS episode for TFMR Awareness Day, and next week on Monday with our regularly scheduled episodes. We missed all of you terribly and are so happy to be back!
Speaking of TFMR Awareness Day, vote for As Long As I'm Living in the @TFMRAwarenessDay awards! We're up for Best Non-TFMR Specific Podcast and Best TFMR Podcast Episode for our episode with Hadley's Mom Jill (listen here!). You can vote at this link.
P.S. Sorry about Alina's noisy cat.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Advocacy (We're On a Break)
We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!
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As Long As I'm Living: Advocacy
TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
Calamity, an interview about race and infant loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom
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Listen to someone else!
Your favorite bereft aunties get real about surviving infant loss, navigating grief, and staying funny in the fuckery.
Start here: They haven't released their first episode! Make sure you follow them on Instagram.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Episodes from the Floor (We're On a Break)
We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!
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As Long As I'm Living: Episodes from the Floor
November 30th and December 1st
Bruised Not Broken (skip to the end)
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Listen to someone else!
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door.
This season Esther speaks to a constellation of new relationships:
- A couple wrestling with the guilt they feel over the happiness their infidelity created.
- Another trying to make space for their queerness in an outwardly appearing hetero relationship.
- A set of friends trying to sort out if their childhood friendship needs to continue into adulthood.
And Esther checks back in with couples from seasons past to see where they are now as she creates a space for us to hear our own lives and struggles articulated in the stories of others. So....where should we begin?
Start here: You Want Me to Watch the Kids While You Go Out with Another Guy?
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at aslongasimlivingpodcast@gmail.com, or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
Hear from the Pros! (We're On a Break)
We're on our break, but here's some episodes to listen to this week instead!
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As Long As I'm Living: Hear From the Pros!
Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich
SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
Parental Grief, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
All About EMDR, an Interview with Trauma Therapist Rebecca Munini
Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
Meet the Rainbow Baby* Doctor, an Interview with Pediatrician and Loss Mom Dr. Laura Arling
::: Listen to someone else!
Can hope be found in every type of loss? Join Claire Sandys (and sometimes Chris), a childless couple (not by choice), on a mission to find 101 different types of loss to see if it's possible to find hope, or even joy, in every type of grief.
Start here: Loss of a Family, with Alina