Bad ASSociations Podcast

On this episode of Bad Associations, Eva catches up with Chev. They delve deeper into Chev’s experiences of being reproved twice before she was disfellowshipped, along with why the reproving process didn’t have the effect that she or the elders hoped for. They also discuss her strained family dynamics and the uncomfortable struggle with relatives who are still in the organization trying to manipulate her into allowing a one-dimensional relationship with her son, and they talk about some of the awesome things that have contributed to living an actual and authentic 'best life ever' on the outside. For more of Chev’s origin story, please also listen to Episode 1: “I’m Chev”

Today, Brian is speaking with Adrian Green, host of the Greener Grass Podcast. Adrian was a 4th generation Jehovah's Witness, raised in it from birth. But at an early age, he realized he was gay. This discovery about himself is what prompted him to first doubt that the Witnesses had the truth; not simply because of his sexuality, but because of the Witnesses' response to it when he reached out for help. In this episode, we go on that journey with him. Link to the Greener Grass Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GreenerGrassPodcast-ce9qk

This month, Eva interviews Amara who was raised as a witness by a single mom in a less-than-ideal home situation where she was eventually kicked out of after choosing to attend college and later join the Air Force. Amara tells us about her self-defined Spiritual Journey to deprogram from The Witnesses and the process of learning to use critical thought. We discuss beards, time cards, territory records, and the parallels between The Organization and “The Capitol.” Amara also discusses a documentary towards the end of the episode; she later found and sent us a link to share which is below.

In this episode Eva interviews Amber, who tells not only her own story, but also, with permission, shares some of her twin sister’s story as well. They both were raised as witnesses and left as adults, neither of them realizing they didn’t want to go back until after they had been out for a while. Amber talks about her relationship with her family, leaving her two abusive marriages, helping her sister, and finding a new partner and chosen family that accepts her just the way she is.

In addition to the general triggers that often come up in the stories of Ex-JW life, Amber and her sister’s story also requires an additional content disclaimer as there is discussion throughout of ongoing child sexual abuse and suicide attempts. Please use discretion regarding if and when you choose to listen to this episode and as always, please utilize healthy support systems whenever appropriate, such as www.rainn.org and www.nami.org

Jacqueline grew up in California, where her parents owned a business in the San Francisco Bay area, but lived two hours away in a very rural town. What made her initially question the organization was her friendship with two gay teenagers in high school, ultimately leading her to take part in that school's Gay-Straight Alliance club unbeknownst to her parents or other witnesses in the congregation. She was baptized at 18, an disfellowshipped at 22. For several years, she was still a believer in the organization despite being disfellowshipped, but that all changed in 2020.

We talk about all of that and more, so I hope you stick around.

Please be advised, there are mentions of child sexual abuse and pets being killed in this episode. If that's something you might be sensitive about, keep that in mind before listening.

In this episode, Brian speaks with with Lyndon. Lyndon was born in Australia to a Pioneer couple who sacrificed so much for the organization that it plunged their family into poverty. We talk about what it was like growing up in that environment, what happened when he told his parents he was leaving the organization, the steep learning curve the world threw him when he was young, and how growing up in that environment drove him to succeed financially. We also talk about how traumatized one can be without realizing it later in life.

On this episode, Brian interviews Isabelle. Isabelle was born into the cult as a fourth-generation witness. Eventually, she broke down and began reading the ex-JW subreddit. Within a week, she had woken up totally. Brian and Isabelle talk about the difficulties she faced and still faces with her 'people pleaser' personality, how to deal with toxic people in your life, and much more. NOTE: Segments of this episode contain discussion of sexual exploitation and abuse of a minor, self-harm, and untreated mental illness. This segment begins at 1:04:29 and ends at 1:21:47. If you need help, the following resources are available to residents of the United States: The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-662-4357 If you are currently in crisis, call or text 988.

It’s our first Halloween Special!

In this episode, Chev, Brian, and Eva talk about Halloween from our unique perspective as former Jehovah’s Witnesses. We share our experiences dressing up in costumes, going to Halloween parties, the paranormal, and many more of our “firsts.” We were fortunate to have some of our former and (hopefully) future guests join in the conversation as well, including:

On this episode, Brian speaks with Cristina. Cristina was introduced to the cult by her mother who was an adult convert. She was baptized at 8 years old, but never really "fit" the culture with respect to being closed off from the world. She grew frustrated by the hypocrisy and the amount of attention the Witnesses paid to the appearance of things pretty early on and also struggled under the regime of what she calls her "helicopter parent" mother. We talk about how difficult it was for her to make friends, even in the Kingdom Hall, facing a judicial committee for being kidnapped and assaulted, dealing with the initial guilt over celebrating holidays, and much more.

In this special episode, Eva breaks the format and talks to her friends, Heather and Hope, from the previous two episodes. The Davies Sisters discuss their journey of reconnecting with each other as adults after they were both finally free of the Witnesses. This episode bounces between both serious and silly, and we had so much fun recording it!

In this episode, Eva interviews Hope.

Hope grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness and talks about the toll that experience has taken on her mental health and relationships over the years. They discuss her marriage and its demise, an inappropriate intervention, and Hope’s struggle to accept that she didn’t actually want to get reinstated. Hope also shares some resources (links below) that she found helpful in the process of leaving and getting where she is today - a happy, educated, well-traveled, and fulfilled ex-JW in a healthy relationship.

In this episode, Eva interviews Hether. They discuss her first meeting at 8 years old and how her family became "picture perfect" until she started getting in trouble. She got reproved for getting pregnant in her teens and then got disfellowshipped later on. She came back to the organization to give it an honest try before leaving for good in her mid-20s. They also discuss the complexities of dealing with her parents prior to finally cutting them off. As mentioned in the intro the CSA content warning (in case anyone wants to skip that portion) starts roughly at 26:00 and ends around 31:57.

Brian interviews Eva, a new Guest Host of Bad Associations. Eva was born to Witness parents and despite several spiritual falls over the years, didn't leave the Organization until her mid-30's. She discusses some of her history of being "in" and as she exited, as well as some of the ways the organization has changed in the 11 years between when Brian left and when she did in 2017.

In this episode, Brian interviews Hannah. Hannah and her husband have been physically and mentally out of the organization for about a year, now. Her husband started questioning her a little bit before she did, and once she revealed her feelings to him, they faded together. We talk about the gossip Hannah and her husband endured from their so-called friends, the reasons they were ultimately shunned despite no judicial committees or disciplinary action on the part of the elders, and we talk about Hannah's early life, being raised as a 6th generation Jehovah's Witness in a prominent family.

This week, Brian interviews "Governor." Governor has been physically and mentally out of the cult for over 50 years. He started to question the religion at 9 years old, and at 15 made a declaration that he won't set foot in a Kingdom Hall ever again--which he has stuck with. Brian and Governor discuss what was going on in the Witness organization in the 60s and 70s and his journey through life, his education, service in the Royal Air Force, his conversion to Anglicanism, then to Catholicism, then leaving religion altogether, and his interactions with the Witnesses throughout.

On this episode of Bad Associations Podcast Brian is speaking with one of his closest friends, Jane. Jane and Brian grew up together in the cult, attending the same congregation for the majority of our teen years. Jane is the younger sister of Matt and Angie from the previous two episodes, so some of this might sound a little familiar. We talk about what it was like growing up with witness and non-witness parents and the differences between the two households, what it was like for her to hit puberty and suddenly have a target on her back, being falsely accused of promiscuous behavior by older women in the congregation despite only being 12 years old. We cover the circumstances leading her to leave home at 17, start her life and career before the age of 20, coming to grips with the abuse she suffered as a child, and ultimately meeting her husband, who has been a very positive aspect of her life for the past 15 years now. I really enjoyed this interview, as it helped me better understand my friend as well as helped her get some things out in the open, and I hope you enjoy it and get something out of it as well.

This week on Bad Associations Podcast Brian talks with Angie. She's been out of the organization for around 20 years now. She was very devout when she was younger but ran into some personal struggles and as a result was disfellowshipped multiple times. We discuss her early years growing up as a Witness, the struggles she went through during her exit, and life as a parent raising children outside of the organization.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Brian who has been out of the cult for 14 years. He started questioning the faith around 24 years old while studying The Daniel Book in 2006. He left soon after in 2008 after having no one to confide in. We discuss The Watchtower's inconsistencies, birthdays, Thanksgiving, being inactive and making friends outside of the organization.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Brittany. We discuss a broad list of topics such as her getting disfellowshipped at only 14 then married at only 19 and the complexities of her JW parents having a relationship with her son. Also if anyone knows - what is the explanation a JW would give as to why dinosaurs are not in the bible?

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast is of Chev speaking POMO D. The story of first awakening, online researching and the feeling of being on your own after exiting.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Isabel. Isabel had an eye opening experience at 6 years old after watching the films The Gods Must Be Crazy. We discuss art journaling as a part of her healing journey and being the daugther of immigrant parents. She is a Latina woman in tech who left the cult at 18 and moved 3000 miles away to live with a stranger in order to escape. Her story is both unique and motivational.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev listens to Eri's story as they explain starting to question the JW faith at 5 years, being baptized at 16 and what led to their exit. They attended what I believe to be a unique school seeing as it was a JW only private school. Have you ever heard of those? They also discuss how their partner went along in pretending that they were also studying to be a JW - just to keep the peace a little longer. Eri hopes to write a memoir eventually and I cannot wait to read it.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Joaquin who started questioning the cult very young but had his critical thinking shut down. We discussed lying on timecards, going to a convention while disfellowshipped and questioning the 1919 storyline.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Diana who has been out of the cult for almost 10 years. We chat about feeling trapped by baptism and ending a JW engagement. She also makes a great point of why she thinks the public announcement should be different for disassociating versus disfellowshipping.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with POMO Martin. He was baptized at 12, pioneered, was a ministerial servant for 12 years and an elder for 5. He discusses the effort of "praying the doubt away" and his more recent efforts of advocacy.

On this episode of Bad Associations Chev chats with 5th generation JW, April, who is an active apostate. Baptized at 15 years old, April now identifies as "PIMO + scheming" and shares her story starting at 8 years old. Her story is one of questioning authority, living a double life and the process of reinstatement.

On this episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev talks to Emily about the pressure of child baptism, moving out of the house in order to feel safe in leaving the cult, going to college while being a JW, the pressure of her leaving that fell on her parents and more.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev listens to POMO Alex share his story of code switching, therapy and leaving the cult.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev talks to Hannah about marrying young, shunning, being part time at Bethel and more.

This episode has a brief mention of sexual assault. If you need personal assistance please contact the National Sexual Assault hotline at 800-656-HOPE . Take care.

In this episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev talks to Renee about her story of how the org views single women, speaking up against the unfair treatment of disfellowshipped people and questioning the faith before she left for the second and final time.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast is of Chev chatting with Sierra who is less than a month out of the cult. They discuss loneliness, betrayal and more.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast is of Chev chatting with Troy about his life story from 6 years old to today at 33. He was a JW on the rise as a teen but SPOILER ALERT it was all a façade. Listen in to hear about what happens when the public announcement has already been made.

This episode has a brief mention of domestic violence. If you need personal assistance please call 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Take care.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast Chev shares emails from two anonymous listeners about birthdays and being PIMO/PIMQ followed by a transparent conversation about the good and the bad of deciding to leave. 

This episode has a brief mention of child sexual assault. If you need personal assistance please contact the National Sexual Assault hotline at 800-656-HOPE . Take care.

This episode of Bad Associations Podcast is of Chev sharing her earliest memory of questioning the practices she was raised in, her baptism, her attempt to force herself to believe and ultimately her choice to disassociate herself. 

Our stories of the Jehovah’s Witness Cult… in our own words.