Dr. Amber's Know + Grow Podcast

On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber explores how parenting and cultural beliefs about discipline have shifted away from corporal punishment and other harsh forms of parenting to embracing more positive and gentle methods.

Have you PRE-ORDERED Dr. Amber's new book, 'A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation'?

On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber shares the 5 biggest worries that parents experience about feeling dysregulated and some insights for how to manage the concern.

Content from this episode comes straight from Ch. 9 of Dr. Amber's new book, 'A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation: Breaking the Cycles of Dysregulation and Mastering Emotions for Parents and Children'

Pre-order your copy of the new book at:

On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber poses the question- Are you the parent your child needs OR the parent you once needed?

In this episode, Dr. Amber explores the difference between PARENTING vs. RE-PARENTING and how to be intentional about recognizing the difference in your own parenting journey.

Article referenced in today's episode:

Today's episode is a BONUS which features a YouTube workshop hosted by Dr. Amber Thornton.

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On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber recalls her most recent experience of postpartum and the debilitating postpartum anxiety she endured during that time.

In this episode, Dr. Amber also shares a regret she has regarding how she managed her recovery and lessons she learned in the process.

Mentioned in today's episode:

On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber is joined by Michelle Collins, LCMFT to discussed attachment in parenting, and all the ways that social media and the internet make it more complicated and stress for parents today.

In this episode, Dr. Amber and Michelle discussed the meaning of "attached enough", culturally relevant parenting tips, how to repair after a mistake with our kids, and a tool that Michelle loves to use with parents in her own therapy practice- Circle of Security.

Links to learn more about Michelle Collins, LCMFT

On today's episode of Dr. Amber's Know and Grow Podcast, Dr. Amber reads the introductory chapter from her new book, 'A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation: A Practical Framework for Breaking the Cycle of Dysregulation and Mastering Emotions for Parents and Children'

“This is not the 40s.”

I mean, need Tamika say more? 🙌🏾

Moms become the default parents because they have been conditioned to believe that the bare minimum is the best they can expect from their partners. This same narrative has been ingrained in women and mothers for generations, making it difficult to shift the conversation surrounding default parenting.

Tamika Coleman shares with us her experience and biggest lessons from being a married single mom, going through a divorce, and eventually finding the courage to seek support from her village.

“More of us are like me.”

This line from Tamika Coleman absolutely hit home.

Growing up, most of us probably looked up to marriages that lasted years without fully understanding what was happening behind closed doors. And even if some of us didn’t have marriages to model theirs after, women in our homes were often taught to just tough it out and wait for things to get better.

But truth is, some things never really get better.

This is exactly what happened with Tamika—until she took action and turned around the married single mom narrative.

Tune in to this episode and hear how Tamika found the strength to finally ask for help, reclaim her life, and and make the changes she needed.

It’s not enough that you simply let others know how you feel. You have to do way more than that.

Over the years, I have come to realize that many moms are not having their needs met because they do not assert their needs effectively. I get it—women, in the first place, weren’t exactly thought to be assertive, and the long line of women in our families certainly endured a lot of the hard parts.

But times have changed, and we are now turning heads in the room by learning to voice our needs more directly. This episode is YOUR starter 😉

What’s the hardest part of breaking the cycle for you?

I learned that for most moms, it’s the lack of support from their partner—the very person who is supposed to take care of them. In one of our previous episodes, Tamika Coleman’s story of breaking out of the “married single mom” narrative was a huge eye-opener for a lot of moms who have been living up to unrealistic and biased expectations from their partners.

This episode, I want to wrap up those key points so we can identify these areas that hold us back from undoing default parenting and changing the narrative for ourselves.

For most of us, if not all, motherhood has re-shifted the entire course of our lives.

One way these changes have manifested is in how many moms have lost their unique identities outside of motherhood. I want you to know right here, right now, that what you are experiencing is valid, but this is not the end of the road for you. 

You are a whole person, and your sense of purpose isn't limited to becoming a mom.

In this mini episode, we are reflecting on how motherhood has changed many aspects of ourselves including our goals and passions, how we can address our struggles in reconnecting with our lost identities, and ultimately, creating a healthier & more authentic version of motherhood. 

Get your Notes app or pen and paper ready - and let's get to it!

This conversation is a wake-up call.

Society has made so many women believe that maternal instincts are simply supposed to kick in magically and that we don't need any more help because we are supposed to know everything about motherhood since day 1. 

For Tamika Coleman, these unfair expectations were what forced her to take on the default parent role.

In this episode, Tamika speaks about her experience of being a married, single mom and how it made every aspect of motherhood feel like she was doing it all alone. She also shares her story of denying her painful truths, and how she was able to get back on her feet by finally getting the help she deserved all along.

If this episode resonated with you, then definitely stay tuned for Part 2!

Tell me honestly, when was the last time you took a nice, long bath--without rushing to see what your kids are up to? 

But then, why do I ask that? Isn't that what moms just do?

This and many more myths are what we are going to be debunking in this mini episode, along with their alternatives so we can gradually ease into undoing society's expectations and learning to put our wellness first. I hope this gives you a jumpstart 🖤

You're exhausted.

You're right - in a nutshell, that sums up every negative consequence of Default Parenting. But in this episode, I want to dig deep into each one of these consequences so we can be more intentional about the work that needs to be done to undo this cycle.

And since we are talking about Default Parenting as a SYNDROME, we will also be talking about the things at the other end of the spectrum: the consequences of being the non-default parent and how kids are impacted by default parenting. 

The thing about boundaries is that they are often overlooked in motherhood.

This is exactly how the “super mom” narrative was normalized. Because of this, many moms, to this day, continue to struggle to separate their identities from this narrative that they SHOULD do it all. As a consequence, this disconnect from their needs and desires has taken away many opportunities for them to ESTABLISH their boundaries. 

So…how do we actually get started on boundaries? Where do we begin? 

So…there’s a name for the parent who does every single thing in the house? The go-to person? The one who’s responsible for most of their kid’s needs?

Yes—and even without having to put a name to it, you just know you’re IT. 

Let’s talk about the Default Parent Syndrome. 

Balance is controversial.

Off the top of your head, you might ask, “How is it possible to meet every single demand in motherhood and still take care of myself?”

The common denominator among the moms I’ve worked with is that they used to believe that balance is simply NOT possible because you barely have time for anything or anyone else but your kids. But the truth about balance is that it’s not a state of checking everything off your list - it’s an experience filled with satisfaction and joy that YOU get to create for yourself.

You don’t need to MEET every single demand; you need to BALANCE these demands.

Tune in to this episode to learn why and how balance is possible for you 🖤

So, BALANCE in motherhood…might sound ambitious (and crazy), doesn’t it?

But let me tell you what - there is literally no way that I’m going to stop talking about making balance happen for millennial moms because balance is truly possible. I know there is a HUGE part of society that’s going to tell us otherwise. That balance, as a mom, is far from reality but that idea is OUTDATED. 

And I can say all this because I’ve seen it happen for me and the wonderful mamas that I’ve met on this platform, so who’s to say it’s impossible for you? 

If you’re one of our OG listeners, welcome back and I’m so grateful to have you all along. And if you’re new here, let me introduce what Balanced Working Mama is and WHY this movement is so important for me and a lot of moms who have shared their hard truths. This is a safe space, an empowering movement, and I hope you make yourself feel at home. 

It’s been quite some time since our last episode, and the past months have been tough as I went through some tremendous shifts with Balanced Working Mama. But here we are! Showing up for every mama who needs this platform & community has always been fueled by the WHY of this movement - to help millennial moms FIND balance and CREATE the life they want for themselves by undoing an unrealistic version of motherhood. 

I cannot wait change the narrative with you 🖤

The doors to our Balanced Working Mama Community are officially OPEN!! Join us TODAY to get the full experience of this challenge with us.  See you inside the community!

This felt too good to not share with you, SO this week on the podcast, I am sharing parts of the 5 Day Challenge we are working on in The Balanced Working Mama Community!!

The Connecting w/ Your Deepest Desires Challenge is designed to help you bring in MORE of what you deeply desire for your life, outside of motherhood or your responsibility to other people.

Our mamas are excited about this challenge and I hope you'll enjoy it too!

OH, also- The doors to our community are officially OPEN!! Join us TODAY to get the full experience of this challenge with us.  See you inside the community!

This felt too good to not share with you, SO this week on the podcast, I am sharing parts of the 5 Day Challenge we are working on in The Balanced Working Mama Community!!

The Connecting w/ Your Deepest Desires Challenge is designed to help you bring in MORE of what you deeply desire for your life, outside of motherhood or your responsibility to other people.

Our mamas are excited about this challenge and I hope you'll enjoy it too!

OH, also- The doors to our community are officially OPEN!! Join us TODAY to get the full experience of this challenge with us.  See you inside the community!

This felt too good to not share with you, SO this week on the podcast, I am sharing parts of the 5 Day Challenge we are working on in The Balanced Working Mama Community!!  

The Connecting w/ Your Deepest Desires Challenge is designed to help you bring in MORE of what you deeply desire for your life, outside of motherhood or your responsibility to other people.  

Our mamas are excited about this challenge and I hope you'll enjoy it too!

OH, also- The doors to our community are officially OPEN!! Join us TODAY to get the full experience of this challenge with us.  See you inside the community!

Sometimes, we need to make hard decisions to get to where we need to be, and today, I’m making one.

It’s been 2 wonderful years on this podcast and it’s finally time for me to take a break. It’s a tough decision to make but I know I’ve needed this for a while now. I’m proud of myself for getting this far and I’m truly looking forward to what this pause will bring 🖤

Moms need sex. But everybody acts like it is not as important as it should be.

In this episode with Samia B., owner of Sexual Essentials, we’re breaking the stigma and dispelling some myths about sex & self-pleasure in motherhood. These topics aren’t openly talked about enough but a lot of mamas in the community have shared about their desire for larger conversations about reconnecting with their bodies and creating the sex that works for them. 

And I feel that you might need to hear this, too. 

“I lived and breathed everything around my children.” -Ruby Brown-Herring

That line struck the MOST. But guess what?

It’s not too late to focus on YOU.

This episode with Ruby Brown-Herring is incredibly moving. She talks about finding balance at a later time in motherhood, the criticism and shame around changing our narrative, and finally arriving at a place where she no longer feels guilty about prioritizing her needs.

So if you’re wondering if this could be your story too, tune in and take inspiration from this mind-blowing conversation.

What does self-love look like while battling PCOS? 

In this episode with our lovely Raye the Doula, we’ll be talking about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. But we’re not simply here to DEFINE it because Google has it abundantly ready for us—we’re here to UNDERSTAND what it truly means to love ourselves with PCOS, deeply and intentionally. 

Having been diagnosed with PCOS when I was a teenager, I know it’s tough. Loving myself felt like the most difficult thing to do. But here’s what you should know: you are worthy of love and you are absolutely not alone.

Take a moment for yourself and tune in to this inspiring conversation about self-love through PCOS.

If there’s one thing I learned from plants, it’s this: Growth happens when you let things go. 

And it’s been quite a struggle for me, as a mom, to let some things go. But every time I did, a space was created for a part of me to grow. 

In this episode, we’re talking about Plant Therapy with The Queen Thumb and how it can help our mamas navigate motherhood with a little help from nature. I didn’t realize there was MORE to owning and caring for plants until we had this conversation.

Tune in to know WHY plant therapy is exactly what you need right now 😉

My body has done amazing things for me. But some days, it is hard to look at it that way. 

Our bodies go through drastic changes in motherhood, and it is so easy to overlook how much our bodies have done for us when we do not meet certain goals. In this episode, I’m not going to give tips for weight loss. I’m not even going to tell you that you need to shed those pounds. Because our bodies are different. Our goals are different.

But what you need to hear right now is the story of how I learned to give my body grace AND still hold myself accountable.

I hope it resonates with you!

Is it too hard for you to tell them what you need? 

Do you feel the weight of their expectation that you can do everything on your own?

Because if it’s a “yes,” then I want you to know that you are not alone. But I also want you to remember that you are worthy of being heard, of having your needs met, of receiving support from people you’ve been doing so many things for, most especially from your partner.

A lot of discontentment in our relationships is rooted from unmet needs and expectations, which is why this episode with Forever Marriages Coach Marissa is a HUGE game-changer for partnerships and marriages. She quotes, “If you don’t communicate your needs in the first place, how can you expect them to meet that need?”

And WOW. That really got me reflecting on some real stuff back there. 

Tune in to know why having our needs met directly affects our marriage and relationships 🤔

Sometimes we need a more hands-on approach, and that’s okay. Maybe life is really getting in the way. Maybe it feels like you are drowning in responsibilities. It might even feel like there’s no way you can come out from where you are now.

I know how it feels and I know that if you feel this way, you want to get out NOW. So let’s accelerate the process…

The Balanced Working Mama Accelerator is an 8-week program designed to equip you with EVERYTHING you need to become BALANCED in motherhood.

It is the hands-on, fully supported approach you may have been needing in order to redefine how balance + wellness shows up in your motherhood journey.  This BONUS episode will tell you everything you need to know about it and how to apply. 

Things to be MORE informed about in 2022? Birth control.

Many people are scared about birth control because of misinformation and the negative experiences others hear from people around them—from risks they weren’t informed about to hidden side effects that caused a lot of suffering.

Birth control is a personal choice. And our very special guest, Sabrina Neill, is here to discuss our many different birth control options so we can make better, empowered choices for our bodies, especially as moms.

What goes in, on, and around your body is your business, and it matters.

Are you still holding on to what holds you back? Is it a constant battle to make space for your needs? 

If it’s a yes, then I want you to know that there is no shame in your struggles. A lot of times we are unaware of habits that hold us back but it’s important that we take realistic and healthy steps to be able to move forward and live our balanced & fullest lives. In this episode, we’ll be talking about 8 unhealthy habits that hinder us from becoming the best versions of ourselves, even in motherhood, and the SOLUTION we need to overcome them. We know it’s not enough to just talk about it—we need to know the HOW.

Our community doors are officially OPEN for a limited time only!  In The Balanced Working Mama Community, you will have access to:  

-Connection & networking with 70+ other millennial mamas who are committed to becoming Balanced and Well in motherhood.  

- The Motherhood Wellness Assessment, a tool used to identify your strengths and areas of growth in motherhood wellness.  

-Group coaching calls designed to provide strategies and direction for optimal balance & wellness in motherhood. 

-A private archive of motherhood wellness resources.  

- Numerous wellness experts serving as guests and teachers within our community

-Special and unique discount codes or offers from brands who want to support millennial mothers. 

My goal is to create a space for millennial mamas who absolutely want to break the generational curses and negative cycles they often grew up seeing regarding motherhood.   

For this reason, I am looking for more millennial mamas  to join us in this journey to redefining motherhood, truly becoming Balanced and having way more wellness than we ever imagined was possible.   

JOIN US during July 1-8!  We can't wait to see you inside. 

Motherhood is NOT glamorous. If anything, it’s the messiest, hardest thing I’ve ever done but it’s truly the BEST thing that’s ever happened to me. And to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We’re talking about milestones after milestones as we wrap up season 8 of our podcast and it’s amazing to share this experience where we are no longer sugarcoating what motherhood looks like for us. 

We’re speaking our truths and breaking cycles. We’re rewriting the narrative. 

And there’s more work to do as we move into a new season.

Change is intimidating. 

But I want you to know that is completely okay for you to change and grow, even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it impacts the people around you. 

Growing up as a first generation student in my family and the older sibling, I naturally took on the role of giving and being that person who’s always a call or text away if someone needed something. And I was afraid that if any of that changes, my family would not be able to adjust. But when I saw them at my front door last weekend, I was reminded that I have space to continue to evolve. 

I hope this episode reminds you that as well ✨    

Be unapologetic for prioritizing a good night sleep. 

This amazing conversation with The Multiple Mom blew me away and moved me towards a much-needed reminder that we deserve rest, not because we struggled until exhaustion but because we’re human beings. Becoming a mom doesn’t mean losing a lot of sleep and powering through sleepless nights—it’s not one of those “it’s the mom life” situations. Rest is necessary. Rest is non-negotiable. 

So if you’re a mama listening to this podcast, running on a few hours of sleep, struggling to keep yourself awake, this is your cue. Go and sleep—guilt-free, unapologetically.

It’s okay if you don’t show up as your best self, today. I hope you’re learning to let go of the guilt that comes with saying, “I’m not feeling so well.” 

One of the most inspiring things about being in our community is getting connected with mamas like Gabrielle Davis who advocates for balance and wellness in motherhood, even while fighting lupus battles. “There is nothing wrong with receiving,” she quotes in this podcast episode, and I think that’s something our moms should be reminded of everyday, especially that we pour so much of ourselves into different things, passions, and people. 

It’s not too late to ask for help, lean on your community, and to be your own best advocate 🖤