Recorded before the recent attempt to overthrow the government, this is the episode where we review all the terrible things that happened in 2020. Ahh, how we long for such simpler times now, eh? For some reason we begin with a discussion about LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. I don't know why. Along the way we namedrop JOHN SAXON, SEAN CONNERY, DIANNA RIGG, CHADWICK BOSEMAN, CHARLIE PRYDE, JOHN LE CARRE and others. Along the way Cal reviews WW84 and we talk about the Season 2 Finale of THE MANDALORIAN. PART ONE OF TWO! (Maybe three).
With the movie houses shut down due to Covid and the recent announcement that Warner Brothers is teaming up with HBO Max for same day streaming releases of all their upcoming films, we speculate about what's going to happen to the movie houses. Is going to the movies a passé concept? Are the movies dead? What will happen to the existing movie theaters? Will this be their chance to become something more than just distribution outlets for the big movie chains?
We also talk about STAR WARS and THE MANDALORIAN, because you know what we're like we can't stay on topic any better than a Stormtrooper can hit a target. I think even Millie Bobbie Brown gets dragged into it at one point. I can't remember. Yes, we were a little inebriated. In these waning days of the Pandemic, who isn't?
In which Calvin relays the tale of his PANIC ATTACK AT THE SAFEWAY! We talk PANDEMIC PREPAREDNESS and the anticipation of the vaccines. Mysterious monoliths popping up all over the world, KRAMPUS and his ilk, plus Rudy Giuliani's star witness, MELISSA CARONE. She's peach, with her Renée Zellweger hair and her second best glasses. Why are you still reading this? Press play, dammit! Podcast gold awaits you!
What? Another episode? Holy Crap! I'm as surprised as you are! Smoking, drinking and other bad habits. Calvin tells about a recent trip to a local establishment selling refined and perfectly legal, combustible recreational, all natural relaxation products (snicker). Mike prefers a drink but Calvin is a sloppy drunk. Life, cats, the internet, the world, Non PC humour and TAN MOM? All this plus, for a change NO talking smack about Millie Bobbi Brown! (Ahhh... who are we kidding, of course we do. It's in our contract at this point). All sponsored by HAMBURGER HELPER! (Hah! We wish!) Sit back, relax, be cool and listen to your podcast pals as we talk about all things cool. Hey, man, why are your eyes so red?
But first, Calvin gives a mixed but enthusiastic review of THE SECRET SOCIETY OF SECOND BORN ROYALS and marvels over Miles Morales' cat from the SPIDER MAN video game. The swedes are not amused by DONALD DUCK and his flagrant disregard for pants. We mark the passing of music Legend Johnny Nash who sang the theme song for THE MIGHTY HURCULES, a Canadian animated classic series. Cal also spends some time ranting about THE BANANA SPLITS and MILLIE BOBBI BROWN (I think it's in our contract at this point... at least once an episode). Calvin reviews the classic 70's SF thriller CAPRICORN ONE. HALLOWEEN CANDY, VALENTINES CHOCOLATE and the various new iterations of STAR TREK. Calvin misses THE AMAZING RACE and, like any rational adults, we discuss the merits of PIZZA POPS and CORN DOGS and other culinary delights that can be had at your local convenience store for a mere pittance!
It's great stuff, this week, folks! You gotta listen!
As we shiver in anticipation of the dreaded SECOND WAVE Cal and MD discuss the important things like HILLBILLY TERRORISTS, ROBOT DOGS, KILLER AI, CHADWICK BOSEMAN, NAMOR, Michael Jai White and why black actors could be big box office draws but aren't allowed to be, America's Dick, Trump's America, The Proud Boys hashtag gets corrupted by George Takei, Jerry Falwell Jnr. is a bad boy, THE BOYS SEASON 2, PERRY MASON, Tatiana Maslany - is she Hulk or is she ain't SHE-HULK? We look forward to season 2 of THE MADALORIAN and, of course, what would an episode of BALLOON JUICE be without a rant about MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN? (You guessed it, we review ENOLA HOLMES). It's a parade of pop culture from a uniquely Canadian perspective!
DEADLY SHARKS! PANT STEALING BISON! Trump committing election fraud by destroying the post office and it's being carried out in broad daylight! A REAL GIANT ROBOT in Yokohama, Japan! CAPTAIN FUNKATEER FUNK SWAGGER'S third big album drop on a dental theme! All that plus THE NEW MUTANTS!
Okay, yeah, this one was late. I should have uploaded it last week because it's getting a bit ripe, but listen anyway. It's still Balloon Juice, and any time is a good time for that no matter what the vintage.
But that won't stop us from talking about THE UNBRELLA ACADEMY Season 2, STARGIRL or DOOM PATROL. We remember 1984's STREETS OF FIRE and MD bemoans the computer repairs that set him back, Cal bemoans ordering things online and recounts his recent ELLEN DEGENERIS kerfuffle. The we talk about fine art and FORTUNINO MATANA and RENE MAGRITTE, cuz we're intellectuals, y'all!
We also review the recent PERRY MASON remake and we wax rhapsodic about the tv series MATADOR. We touch on Tom Cruise in space, BATTLEFIELD EARTH and the inimitable Barry Pepper!
It's not just Balloon Juice, it's solid gold Balloon Juice!
Calvin tells M.D. some stories from his youth in Shiloh, Manitoba. The Summer of '79 was a magical year for young Calvin and the things he got up to will make your blood curdle! STEALING A BIG MAC FROM A BABY! HOPPING A TRAIN TO WINNIPEG! Also going through some old photographs leads Calvin to discover a secret about his family. We also weigh in on the notorious BEER RAMEN! (spoiler: YUCK!)
In which our heroes, Cal and MD, talk about their cats, MD complains about the recent renovations to his house. Then we dig in and talk about what's going on in the world: GEORGE FLOYD and the police, DAVE CHAPELLE and his powerful special on Youtube, ANTIFA, Confederate statues, KATHERINE JOHNSON, BASS REEVES, WATCHMEN. We talk about our white privilege, and our support for marginalized people and the LGBTQ community. We talk about religious bigotry, THE “N” WORD, Walter Mosley and the writer's room for Star Trek: Discovery. White supremecists and racists: Don't listen to this show. YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED!!!!!
Then we switch gears and talk about Octoberfest, beer, bratwurst and women with big boobs, which causes MD to talk about his wife and Calvin to reminisce about a young woman he once knew... okay, full disclosure: we were drinking when we recorded this, so it's still podcast gold, but it's DRUNKEN PODCAST GOLD!
In which our heroes, Cal and M.D., reflect on how Luke Skywalker is just some radicalized Jedi kid from a desert shithole planet. That leads us to a discussion of DUNE which leads us to MOBY DICK and via Bill Sienkiewicz, to THE NEW MUTANTS, LEGION and a discussion of comic books as pop culture. Calvin recalls his days as a high school superstar before we launch into a very serious discussion about POM, pimple popping videos, ear wax removal and Kotubukiya figures. We also admit how uncomfortable we are with the new FACE SWAP APP turning Luke Skywalker and the Enterprise crew into girls, LOONEY TUNES, racist tropes, racist syrup, white voice actors on THE SIMPSONS and the joys of punching Nazis. It's PODCAST GOLD this week, folks! You don't want to miss it!
WE'RE BACK AND WE'RE RE-BRANDED, BITCHES!
BALLOON JUICE #1, in which our heroes, Calvin and M.D., have to deal with another film starring Millie Bobbie Brown! ENOLA HOLMES is a Netflix film coming in September. Did you know David Lee Roth is now a paramedic? It's true! Cal and M.D. Talk about the Snyder Cut and explain why there is no SNYDER CUT of JUSTICE LEAGE! Michael Keaton returning to the role of Batman? MORBIUS starring Jared Leto, JOKER, DC's animated films culminate in JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK: APOKOLIPS WAR, Calvin's pathetic troll, Covid 19, AmazingCon! FOUNDATION becomes a TV series, SNOWPIERCER and what happens to Calvin when he doesn't have internet?
It's an amazingly chock-full hour of damn good podcasting!
From their quarantine bunkers, Cal and MD are joined by Nick Ward from New Zealand. We share lockdown stories, we talk about the recently released images from Denis Villeneuve's DUNE, we each recount embarrassing encounters with famous people and engage in general merriment. Along the way we talk about the iconic Canadian TV series THE BEACHCOMBERS, THE FRIENDLY GIANT and DOCTOR WHO, and Cal tells us how he saved the life of an Edmonton Weatherman before he became famous! It's quality entertainment to soothe your isolation blues!
In this episode Cal and MD talk about many topics including Dennis Villenuve's Dune, Moebius, Cosplay Girls, Billie Eilish (and the amazing reality that a Grammy winning album can be produced in your bedroom), A REALLY GREAT IDEA FOR THE CAVE OF COOL'S FIRST INDIE FEATURE, Disney Remakes (with an emphasis on MULAN) and ONE REALLY AMAZING THERMOS!
Back again and we talk Irwin Allen, VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA and other old network television shows. Remember CLIFFHANGERS? We do! We talk about SURVIVOR, Calvin's time in Iqaluit, Harry and Megan moving to Canada, and, of course, SUPER HEROES! We've got your amazing geeky conversation all right here!
After a perfect storm of a computer SNAFU left Calvin unable to reach out to the rest of the world WE ARE BACK! And we have a lot to talk about! Aside from Calvin's computer problems we cover the Facebook cat group and Calvin's Cat captions, cosplay girls, 90 DAY FIANCEE, the 1973 version of THE THREE MUSKETEERS, Live action remakes of Japanese Anime, KINGDOM Season 2, Korean cinema, PARASITE, Bong Joon Ho, KPOP, BELA LUGOSI, FRANK LANGELLA, MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, MULAN and, of course STAR TREK: PICARD. It's choc-a-bloc full of overwhelming goodness!
WATCHMEN! HBO's limited series based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons graphic novel masterpiece gets an review! Listen as Cal and M.D. give their thoughts and wax enthusiastically about this landmark television series. A slightly spoilery review which covers the entire series and celebrates Damon Lindeloff's redemption as a creator of quality television!
SEASON 2 opens with a bang as we cover the firing of Don Cherry, The box office bomb that was CHARLIE'S ANGELS and TERMINATOR: DARK FATE. We talk HBO's WATCHMEN and Disney Plus' THE MANDALORIAN! We're back, Bitches!
Cal and MD talk about Amazon Prime's insane TV show THE BOYS. Cal reviews the DC Comics TV Series PENNYWORTH. Cal tells the story of SIR NICHOLAS WINTON who saved children during the Second World War, snatching them out from under the noses of the Nazis. We talk Canadian politics, JAGMEET SINGH and his video addressing Quebec's Bill C21, and our homegrown lefty/righty parties. Cal finishes up by decrying the unfairness of the universe that denies him the love of a good woman, and, for some reason, EGGOS.
KRISTEN STEWART wants into the MCU. Calvin explains why this is a bad idea. EDMONTON EXPO is this weekend and Calvin will be there! Represent! Calvin also tells the story of nearly being killed by a family of DRUNK DEER. We also talk about what it's like to live in small-town Canada surrounded by deer hunters. It's a chilling tale of horror and not for the squeamish or faint of heart!
From way back in August this episode features Calvin's review of HOBBES & SHAW, Calvin is convinced he has transitioned to an alternate universe, one that didn't have crazy far right politics and yet another mass shooting. Calvin and M.D. try to figure it all out. Party politics, tribalism and an ABC After School special called THE WAVE. Calvin remembers the Canadian television series WONDERFALLS. All this plus THE FRIENDLY GIANT!
The MCU is moving into Phase 4. We talk about what it all means, what we think will happen and what we hope will happen. Calvin also goes on at length about MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN's lack of acting chops. And along the way we visit a Farmer's Market in Red Deer. Alberta. It's all fun and games until someone casts Millie Bobbie Brown!
PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE! Do you remember the 1974 Brian DePalma horror rock opera? We do! And we talk about why it and its compser, Paul Williams were so fantastic. Also a list of overrated movies. Some will come as no surprise but some will surprise you. Also Calvin talks about his completely unexpected trip to his local emergency room on his birthday, of all days! All this plus our usual shenanigans at THIS WEEK FROM THE CAVE OF COOL!
Calvin reviews X:MEN: DARK PHOENIX and we compare and contrast the various adaptations of X-Men's Dark Phoenix Saga. Plus why the universe is better with Keanu Reeves in it. From BILL & TED and HAMLET to THE MATRIX and JOHN WICK, we review Keanu Reeve's career and where he could fit into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and how he could probably save the world.
SHOT TO THE FACE! In which our hero, Cal, tells the harrowing story of violence in RED DEER involving car chases, gunplay and frightened children in peril! Calvin also tells the story of how he found a dead body while drunk on a boat. All this plus the usual shenanigans! If you only listen to one podcast THIS IS THE ONE!
FANBOYS BE TRIPPIN'! In which our heroes, Cal and M.D., talk about all the things that are driving fanboys crazy from the Ruby Rose BATWOMAN trailer to the final episodes of GAME OF THRONES (The bells! WHO RANG THE GODDAMNED BELLS!). The fanboy's pain is delicious to Cal and their howls of outrage make for one great podcast! We also talk about cats as well as BONEY M and unfortunate names. All this plus the usual CAVE OF COOL hijinx make for solid gold listening!
In which Calvin tells the story of his mother and the stolen soup and how he was the first to introduce Harry Potter to Red Deer school students. We dissect the trailers for THE LAST JEDI and THE JOKER, and how everyone knows STAR WARS.
In which our heroes, Cal and MD, drive a stripped down version of the podcast in order to give a shout out to our biggest fans, conduct a post mortem on the Notre Dame fire and the earthquakes in Red Deer AND in Salmon Arm, and we tell the world why Ketchup Chips are the quintessential Canadian potato chip.
In which our heroes, Cal and MD, talk Japanese cinema, the live-action version of Alita: Battle Angel and Cal tells the story of how he met Jim Shooter in an airport on the way to Iqaluit and how years earlier his obsessive desire to purchase a Big Jim action figure led Cal to an encounter with Canadian Music legend Tommy Hunter.
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY! Cal and M.D. talk about the Netflix series as well as the original comic book by GERARD WAY and GABRIEL BA. Side trips along the way include CARLY RAE JEPSEN, JASON MOMOA SHAVING HIS BEARD, the trailer for HOBBES AND SHAW, THE EXPANSE, THE AVENGERS, TOM CRUISE, and the usual CAVE OF COOL shenanigans. Recorded on location in the actual CAVE of COOL!
WOMEN IN SPACE!!! (or not) NASA botches a potentially historic all-female spacewalk and Calvin is incensed! The JUSSIE SMOLLETT affair and the disturbing parallels to the TRUMP presidency. AOC the REAL Time Magazine Person of the Year, NEW ZEALAND's response to the shooting tragedy and the "LIVE ACTION" remake of Disney's DUMBO and why Disney thinks that your parents have to die. All this and more on This Week from the Cave of Cool!
The hit New Zealand TV series FRESH EGGS! In which our heroes, Cal and M.D., talk to co-creator and writer of FRESH EGGS, Nick Ward about his series which is currently running on New Zealand television! Plus amazing stories about the series' co-star JOHN RHYS-DAVIES (the best digger in Cairo!). We also talk about his short films, FIRST CONTACT and DAS TUB and his development deal with HBO. This Week From the Cave of Cool goes down under!
THE SWEET! Episode 15, in which our heroes, Cal & MD reminisce about their younger days and their love for the British rock band THE SWEET! They also give their take on the talk about MICHAEL B. JORDAN being considered for SUPERMAN, the plan to bring STARSHIP TROOPERS back to television and the crazy idea to remake LOST! This Week from the Cave of Cool asks the question: "Are you ready, Steve?"
Episode 14 in which our heroes, Cal and MD, discuss the recent spate of BLACKFACE scandals and other stupidities of the internet age including people who believe the earth is flat or that germs don't exist. We pay tribute to the OPPORTUNITY ROVER whose battery died on Mars and express our fears about KILLER ROBOTS. We talk more about casting for Denis Villeneuve's DUNE adaptation and Cal explains why remaking DISNEY'S ALADDIN is a bad idea even without the Fresh Prince of Blue Air, WILL SMITH. Cal reviews a NETFLIX series KINGDOM which mixes medieval Korea with Zombies!
Episode 13 in which our heroes, Cal and MD, talk about KENDALL JENNER and how she is not as popular as a picture of an egg. MD talks about the DC NETWORK'S TITANS series, JOHN WICK PART THREE, and Cal outlines why he will not be watching AVATAR 2 & 3 and why JAMES CAMERON is not so hot as everyone thinks. Cal and MD also talk at length about DUNE, the novel and the various adaptations, particularly the upcoming film version directed by DENIS VILLENEUVE. They also talk about the trailer for the next SPIDER-MAN movie and how much they are looking forward to the premiere of the CAPTAIN MARVEL movie. Finally, Cal admits that no matter how hard he tries, he can't see everything.
Episode 12, in which our heroes, Cal & MD, in spite of all the crazy in the world attempt to sort out the 2019 OSCAR NOMINATIONS including the many nominations for BLACK PANTHER including the nomination for Best picture. Cal makes a brief foray into REALITY TV, specifically CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER and ANTHONY “The Mooch” SCARAMOUCHE before talking about STAR TREK: DISCOVERY and the heartbreak that has become THE ORVILLE. Cal then celebrates the amazing 9 MILLION VISITOR mark he acheived at CALVIN’S CANADIAN CAVE OF COOL which has him quite chuffed, before trying to sort out the world’s problems including the confrontation between the MAGA hat wearing COVINGTON CATHOLIC SCHOOL KIDS and Native Elder NATHAN PHILLIPS.. We then move closer to home to examine the state of CANADIAN POLITICS which, naturally, leads us to a discussion of AMATEUR STRIPPERS IN YELLOWKNIFE and the guy from Calgary who built an old fashioned VIDEO GAME ARCADE in his garage.
In which our heroes, Cal and M.D., continue with the Cave of Cool's YEAR IN REVIEW, wherein we talk about TOM CRUISE and review the films that didn't do so well at the box office, namely, Shane Black's PREDATOR and SOLO. Cal talks about UPGRADE, a film that didn't get the attention Cal feels it deserves. We also look ahead to 2019's films including CAPTAIN MARVEL and SHAZAM. Along the way we talk about STAR TREK: SHORT TREKS in anticipation of STAR TREK: DISCOVERY's second season, IAN McSHANE and, of all things, SPACE: 1999. If you listened to Part One you have to listen to Part Two and if you haven't listened to Part One but you listen to Part Two, well, you have to go back and listen to part one! It's all GOLD, folks!
Episode 10, in which our heroes, Cal and M.D., start off the new year with a list of famous people who have died already, including The Captain from Captain and Tenille, Super Dave Osborne and Gene Oakerlund which leads to Calvin remembering the time he watched ANDRE THE GIANT wrestle alongside CAESAR PAVON on STAMPEDE WRESTLING back in the day. Along the way they review the happenings of the year 2018 with much derision of Trump and, naturally, a discussion of Gypsy weddings. They compare New Year's celebrations and discuss the impact of films such as BLACK PANTHER, INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE and BUMBLEBEE. It's all gold, folks and it's only PART ONE of a Two-part (possibly three-part) show!
Episode 8, in which our heroes, Cal & MD, talk about big wet movies. Calvin gives his spoiler-free and somewhat rambling review of AQUAMAN, with some inevitable talk about 1987's MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE and learning how to swim in Brandon, Manitoba. We also talk about the trailer for AVENGERS:ENDGAME (“What trailer?” Calvin is still asking) and the newest trailer for season two of STAR TREK: DISCOVERY in which everybody has great love for Captain Christopher Pike and MD figures out the only logical reason why Spock never mentioned he had a sister in the the original STAR TREK series.
Episode 9, in which our heroes, Cal and MD, talk about terror-filled Christmas traditions from Europe including KRAMPUS, THE YULE LADS, THE YULE CAT and some SANTA CLAUS helpers who will beat your ass with a broom. We also examine the creepy sadness of VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS CARDS and Victorian Christmas stories about LITTLE MATCH GIRLS who freeze to death. MD talks about being put in jail for being drunk and disorderly by JOHN RHYS DAVIES, and Cal opines on the greatest Christmas Album ever, THE BONEY M CHRISTMAS ALBUM and they weigh in on the BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE controversy. And what podcast would be complete without a surprise visit from Santa courtesy of LIVE PD. It's heartwarming holiday fare!
Episode 7 in which our heroes, Cal and M.D., examine the plague of MUTANT COWS (following a short trip down memory lane as Cal reminisces about a night at Red Deer's premier biker bar/strip club, THE WINDSOR) and speculate about which soulless corporation is behind the shenanigans. Cal also talks about his love for CATS which is reflected at the CAVE OF COOL blog. We also talk about Britain's first female astronaut HELEN SHARMAN and M.D. talks about the time he found himself inside a cold war era Russian spacecraft (true story) and, of course, SPACE FORCE. We also talk about Y, THE LAST MAN and other dystopian stories about the last fertile man on earth, AQUAMAN, MARVEL'S NETFLIX SERIES being cancelled, and Cal explains why MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING is top notch entertainment.
In which our heroes, Cal & M.D., are joined by guest commentators Erik Allan Johnson and Chris Lockhart to pay tribute to the late Stan Lee. We also mark the passing of screenwriter William Goldman, author of The Princess Bride, and Roy Clark, guitar virtuoso and co-host of Hee Haw. Calvin then tells the story of the stabbing in the arctic and takes the opportunity to excoriate his least favourite book, Moby Dick.
Episode 5, in which our heroes, Cal and M.D. Talk about their favourite band, Queen, the impact that their music had on their lives and Cal gives his enthusiastic review of the Queen Biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody. We also talk about the infamous Megan Kelly “Blackface” fiasco, Creed 2 (wherein M.D. Reveals his part in Rocky IV), Aquaman, and Cal inexplicably threatens to tip some unnamed podcasters into a bear pit.
Episode 4, in which our heroes, Cal and M. D. Talk about the movies that scared them. The new Halloween film, plus Calvin tells an amazing story that brings together The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Tobe Hooper and Billy Idol and redemption from beyond the grave. MD reveals the film that frightened him silly as a child and a few that frighten him now. There are hilarious stories along the way about the original Frankenstein and the original Alien.
Episode 3, in which our heroes, Cal and M. D. (ably assisted by their Music Director, Frances Simpson) wax rhapsodic about the Thanksgiving holiday, October in Canada, Halloween costumes of days gone by, then sheepishly admit that they are big babies when it comes to scary movies. Along the way Cal tells some hilarious stories – these are pure gold, folks! (Also many very funny but very naughty words... children and those with delicate sensibilities be warned!)
Episode 1, in which our heroes, Calvin and M. D., recall and dissect and generally have fun with the big, big movies that were released over the summer, and Calvin outlines the reasons for his hatred of the Pumpkin Spice.