Helping you care less what people think and discover the freedom in your femininity. Rebekah Buege is a speaker, writer, and mentor for women escaping the pressure to be perfect. You won't feel alone in your struggles with body image and self worth. Instead, you'll learn how to walk in bold vulnerability and use the feminine strength God gave you. New episodes every Thursday! Instagram: @rebekahbuege
THIS ONE IS GOLD. Heather is the author of the book "Compared to Who" and our conversation goes deep into the ideals we each hold based on where our comparisons come from. Heather shares how she discovered her "ideal" woman - and how you can walk in confidence as you get off the treadmill of self improvement and live the life God is calling you for.
Why are beautiful women insecure? As someone who's been told "you're beautiful, you have nothing to feel insecure about" I believed my feelings weren't valid for years. I thought there was something wrong with me and I should just "get over it". Turns out, insecurity has nothing to do with how you look. I'm sharing 3 main reasons beautiful women still feel insecure, and a little help to overcome it. Check out www.rebekahbuege.com/coaching for more help with confidence.
How a man treats his mother is a big indication of how he will treat you. It might sound weird at first, but I invited my mom, Theresa Buege, onto the podcast to talk about how you can confidently observe and handle the relationship dynamic of a mother and son. If you're looking for help on how to deal with overbearing in laws, this episode is for you. Coaching: www.rebekahbuege.com/coaching
The reason you want to feel good in your body is because you feel enslaved to "better" - there's very little freedom when you always feel pressured to be perfect (or at least a better version of yourself) I'm honored to have Tanner Hobbs from the Chasing Freedom Podcast share her journey towards body image freedom and how you can get out of the mindset keeping you stuck in insecurity.
Ohh closure, we think we need it and do crazy things to get it. Or at least I have. Becoming confident in yourself includes learning to let go of things without needing answers. The truth is, closure only comes from YOU.
No matter your relationship status, you need to work on building out a life you love beyond romantic partners. Love shows up in so many ways, it's not just husbands and kids. Plus, you will insulate yourself from being lonely while you're single OR being completely shaken after a breakup.
You know that person who makes you feel like you're not good enough, no matter what you're doing. Rather than striving to meet their expectations, confident women know to set their own and be gentle with themselves as they focus on that.
Do you feel self conscious when you're getting a massage, pedicure, or anything like that? I used to be so self conscious it actually ruined the whole "relaxing" experience! So I had to learn to stop apologizing for how my body looked and remember my body deserves to be taken care of (and people aren't judging you as much as you think)
Dating as a Christian is hard and takes a lot of patience. There's a ton of conflicting advice out there when it comes to how to act in a dating scenario, so I'm just sharing my perspective and how it's changed since the last time I was single. Confident women have the patience to allow men to pursue them. Feminine confidence in a dating scenario looks like not taking over, not taking control, and waiting for the guy who's gonna be willing to WORK for your time and attention. If he doesn't have to put in effort at the beginning...why would he start if/when you're dating or get married? You deserve a guy who's gonna try for you, so have the confidence to stay single until he comes along!
Dating apps get a bad rep, but it's all about how you use them! It's totally possible to attract Christian men on a dating site (or app) that isn't inherently for Christians. Wanna know how? Listen to this. Hinge is my favorite, FYI.
I grew up hearing damaging religious ideas about sex, women, and my body. In this episode, I'm sharing what God is showing me about why purity in singleness is more important than virginity - PLUS - why shame, guilt, and regret have no place in the mind (or body) of a daughter of God.
Our worth primarily comes from our parents growing up. Especially our fathers, so when we don't have a loving, faithful, caring father it's hard to feel a strong sense of self worth. This is why I love that God is our perfect, heavenly father who truly gives us our identity and value! No matter what kind of earthly father you have, your heavenly father gets the final say in who you are (and he has great things to say about you!)
The best way to celebrate 100 episodes of this podcast and my journey over the past 2 years is by telling the story God is writing with my life. Want to give me the BEST present ever? Leave a rating & review before you listen. This episode is my testimony of God's goodness, love, and endless pursuit of my heart through a whole lot of pain, stress, mistakes, and heartache. I love you for listening.
Building self confidence starts with focusing LESS on yourself! You can use the 5 love languages to focus on loving people in your life. I'm not talking about just a boyfriend or husband. There are so many people in your life you can love - coworkers, friends, strangers, etc. it's more practical than you think!
"I don't want to judge" - well, okay...but you realize there's a difference between being a jerk and being smart, right? Confident women carefully choose their center of influence. Confident women have discernment about who they date, who they marry, who they're friends with, what they listen to, etc. In this episode, I'm sharing how I do that - and what God has to say about it.
Why are we so afraid of hearing 'no'? Confident women know how to ask for things without getting too attached to the outcome. It's okay if the answer is no, but if you never ask - you're never going to get what you want!
Hurt people, hurt people. In this episode, I share how confident women respond when people are nasty for no apparent reason. When you're confident in yourself, you aren't as quick to retaliate when someone hurts you.
You're never going to reach a point where you stop feeling inadequate. Yikes - too harsh? It's not because you're behind or there's something wrong with you, it's because we aren't meant to fully "arrive" during this life on earth. We're imperfect humans, we'll never stop being a work in progress...but that's kinda a freeing thought, isn't it?
Join me as I coach Hailey through how to move into a new season of her life without feeling guilty about leaving some friends behind. As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another - you become who you hang out with. Finding new friends is challenging, but you need friends who are strong in their faith so you can be poured into. Updates: Marigold confidence app is launching September 17th! Private coaching with me is now customized based on your goals.
There are 3 kinds of "I'm sorry" - each one takes on a higher level of responsibility for the situation. Listen to find out 3 ways confident women know how to say "I'm sorry" ...and a 4th that they NEVER use.
Your sexual history doesn't disqualify you from anything. Feeling shame and guilt around your body because of your sexual past isn't something you have to live with! Nothing you've done disqualifies you from fully enjoying and experiencing marriage (and sex) in the way God intended. You can't change your sexual history, God forgives sexual sin just as completely as any other sin, so you're 100% free to move on from that. You don't lose anything by not being a virgin.
Jealousy is not a sign of insecurity, it's a character trait of God and I'm done apologizing for it. The important distinction to make, though, is between jealousy and envy. Listen up, ladies - this one is a favorite of mine.
How do you handle when someone you've dated didn't want you to wear your hair a certain way, and then you get out of that relationship and you want to do the things you "weren't allowed" to do but you're scared? - That's a question I got in my DMs. Toxic relationships plant insecurities that stick around long after the relationship ends unless we do the work to WEED THEM OUT.
I used to think masculine traits made you confident, but it actually made me frustrated and insecure! So I had to figure out how to be confident in a feminine way, the way God intended us to be. Feminine confidence lies in the balance between striving for acceptance and giving up completely.
Take a look at how the God defines love and measure that against how you treat your body. You probably aren't doing to hot, huh? We all struggle with believing our imperfect bodies are worthy of love - but you don't need to feel guilt or shame about this. Start with whatever advice on this episode feels easiest for you and once you gain momentum, build your confidence from there!
Can we stop with the stereotype of "church ladies" and get real about the fact we're called to be MORE than moms? God created each of us with incredible gifts to further His kingdom...aren't you curious what yours is? The opinions of others shouldn't stop you from taking direction from God and living your life for His purpose! Check out more from Stefanie at www.stefaniegass.com and she's on insta @stefaniegass
When someone hurts you, you expect an apology...in order to forgive them. That's how we grew up viewing forgiveness...but when we don't get the apology we want - our hearts get hard and turn bitter very easily. I'm sharing my experience with not wanting to forgive my abusive ex and how God worked in my heart to show me that forgiving him was about my own freedom...not his.
Feeling rejected by a brother in Christ? Confident women learn how to wish them well, without feeling hurt by them not being interested in you. Also hear me freak out over discovering a new podcast review lol.
The reason you're trying to control everything says more about your struggle than what you're trying to control. There's another way to relate to food and to your body. God put you in your body for a reason, and instead of fighting against it - you can actually choose to be at peace with it. Check out Karen Finney @karenfinneycoaching on instagram!
I felt God whisper, "you don't need a man's desire to have permission to capture how beautiful I made you"
Close up pictures of me in my underwear, what could go wrong? Building confidence is about challenging yourself to try new things. After I broke off an engagement 6 months ago, I wanted to celebrate how God is renewing me. Reclaiming me. I wanted to do a boudoir shoot for my wedding, but I felt like I couldn't anymore. Soooo I listened to God's nudge and did it even though I was a little afraid what people would say. This episode covers how I thought about the process, things I did to improve my comfort level and body confidence!
Nicole is the founder of Fit Foundations and you should follow her on Instagram @nicolescheitlin for info on how to have a good relationship with HEALTH in general. Cause lots of IG fitness people are telling you dumb stuff that hurts your body image and confidence.
Confidently She - The Program starts in June! Go to www.rebekahbuege.com/program to find out more! You don't have to continue trying to be enough because the decision has already been made that God loves you. It's up to you to decide what you do with that truth from Romans 5:6-8. God forgives you when you've mistreated your body or criticized yourself horribly. It doesn't matter how bad it was before, the beauty of grace is that you can be confident you're forgiven.
I'm launching a program June - September! This summer, you can learn the foundation of building confidence in Christ! Join here: www.rebekahbuege.com/program
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor so talking about eating disorders is ALWAYS a tip-toe subject for me. I'm only speaking from my personal perspective, my perspective on scripture in this area, and if this helps you, fantastic! That being said, I completely acknowledge the fact I don't have training in this area - so there are probably lots of aspects about eating disorders I'm blind to.
Oh gosh, where to begin. How did liking who we are become an incredibly difficult daily struggle? When did self criticism become the norm? How did we get here? I know how, marketing. Back in the 60’s companies got really good at making us feel like something was missing. If we just bought their product, […]
If God asked you to give that up, would you? You know the thing. The thing you’re holding onto so tightly you’re terrified of letting it go. That thing. Chances are, that’s where you’re getting your identity right now. Sometimes it’s a job, a boyfriend, your kids, or even a certain lifestyle you’re living. If […]
Having a positive body image actually doesn’t start with self love. (here’s a Confidently She podcast episode about that) p.s. join the Summer Semester of Confidently She – The Program HERE That’s like saying having a birthday cake starts with lighting the candles. Sure, that’s technically what makes a regular cake into a birthday cake, […]
You might be sabotaging your confidence. Not on purpose, obviously. If you’re feeling insecure or doubting yourself, the answer might be in NOT doing certain things. Before I get into this, I want you to know I’ve personally done all these things – so there’s no judgement. Plus, my VIP coaching day is designed to […]
Where does confidence come from? How can you be confident when you keep messing up? Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect or looking a certain way. Anyone who’s confident will tell you it comes from actually facing their inner voice and doing the work others are afraid to do. For Christians, it means trusting that […]
Your idols sometimes look like your blessings. The things God gives you in this life on earth are wonderful: family, friends, careers…bodies. But idolatry happens when we get our priorities out of whack. We start putting our physical health above everything. You obsess over the way you look. Idolatry is this big scary word in […]
I struggle with obsessing over negative thoughts. Everyone does. You’re probably worried about things that happened in the past or things that might happen in the future. Which one do you gravitate towards? I worry about the future more than I dwell on the past. Everything you’re worried about right now is an earthly thing. […]
Trusting in yourself is a big topic right now. Thankfully, we are moving away from getting our identity from other people. Our culture is focusing less on what other people think and more on finding approval within ourselves, which I think is great. But there has to be another level to it when you’re truly […]
How does social media impact your body image and self esteem? Have you ever thought to yourself, “is Instagram bad for my body image?” I know I have. In fact, I’ve gone through and unfollowed every account that makes me feel insecure, critical, or doubtful of my self worth. I think sometimes we tell ourselves […]
There’s a difference between God’s plan for your life and the path you choose to take. I do believe that God has the same plan for everyone – it’s written in the Bible. When I used to think of God’s plan, I thought of like, my life path. Everything was “part of God’s plan” because […]
“my daughter thinks she’s ugly, what do I tell her?” No matter what age your daughter shares her insecurities, it’s heartbreaking to hear. I’m not a parent yet, I don’t personally know what it feels like to hear this – but I do know what it feels like to say it. Growing up, I felt […]
No matter what your relationship status is right now, you can still enjoy Valentine’s Day! Here’s my thing: The only people who don’t like Valentine’s Day are the ones with high expectations that never get met so they act super salty about it and pretend not to like nice things. You’re telling me you don’t […]
Emotions are a powerful tool you can use to boost your confidence. People think being emotional is a negative or uncontrollable quality in women. It really doesn’t have to be. When you learn how to understand and support your emotional health using emotional intelligence, you can harness the positive power of your feelings. That might […]
It’s possible to create health in your life without having an all or nothing mentality. So many “body rules” are based on conflicting messages. If you eat a salad, people make fun of you, but if you eat a burger and fries you might feel self conscious for eating “unhealthy” food. You really can’t win […]
‘Do what makes you happy’ is really lazy advice. Happiness isn’t a goal you should be working towards. It’s a fleeting feeling that comes and goes throughout the day. There’s a difference between doing what makes you happy and doing what makes you feel good. It’s the difference between longterm and short term satisfaction. Happiness […]
There has to be better ways to think about your health besides your weight. With all the different factors that influence your weight each day, it’s not a very good way to measure your health. So why do we obsess over weight loss all the time? Our culture focuses so much on losing weight, we […]
Moms give to everyone else first and if they have anything left over, they can take scraps for themselves. I really don’t like this burden we put on motherhood. This is why you need to keep building your self worth after becoming a mom. Being a mom is a huge part of your identity, but […]
If there’s one thing women struggle with more than body confidence, it’s how to end something without feeling guilty. We are conditioned to say yes to everyone and everything. Saying no in the beginning is hard, but what’s even harder is saying no after giving it your best effort. The craziest part about it is […]
Being single is a really great way to explore exactly who you are. When you’re ready to find a committed partner, online dating isn’t usually people’s first choice. I think it’s changing a bit as people realize how useful the internet is for literally everything else. But when you make the decision to sign up…what’s […]
The simplest way to change the direction of your life is to accept where you are now. We are so good at pretending like everything is okay and things aren’t as bad as we think, but you need to get real if you want things to change. It takes confidence to look inside and validate […]
If you want more happiness in your life, you have to stop waiting. We see commercials and hear people talk about what’s coming next. The big new thing. Maybe it’s a new job or a new house. You could be waiting to get married or get a promotion in order to start feeling happy and […]
Focusing on outcomes rather than enjoying yourself in the moment is the biggest reason why diets fail. Most diet and exercise programs focus on losing X amount in X days. What about your mindset and level of enjoyment in those days? If you can’t enjoy the process and the moment right now, it’s almost impossible […]
I’m like woohoo – baby you can get it all. This episode has 2009 Bow Wow stuck in my head – in the best way. Want to know how to have it all? Start by asking yourself what that really means to you. Not what it means to your friends, family, or partner. We get […]
How to stop letting other people’s opinions influence your self worth. Set a boundary between how you view yourself and how other view you. Then, practice letting the good in and being critical of the bad. Plus – I’m talking about some food stuff for the holidays and why I think everyone has an eating […]
The difference between self love and body positivity is the idea we are more than our bodies. I sat down to interview the founder of Intensati and spiritual fitness, Patricia Moreno, and I’m humbled by her strength, wisdom, and passion for women’s health. Click here to listen to the interview on the podcast. Patricia is […]
How much value do you place in your appearance? After losing both her legs and the function of her left arm in a tragic car accident, Inga had a choice. She could either focus on everything she lost or everything she still had. This episode features the story of author, speaker, and coach, Inga Lizdenyte, […]
What’s the difference between body image, body positivity, and body confidence? They’re definitely related, but they’re not the same thing. In this episode, Rebekah walks you through the definition of each term, examples, and why they’re important.
Comparing your body to others is a very common thing. You don’t have to beat yourself up when you realize you’ve fallen into this again. It’s a vicious cycle and it can ruin your day without being hard on yourself for doing it in the first place. But there are ways to pull yourself out […]
Blaming yourself for being cheated on is the default setting for most people. I understand, it’s natural to criticize yourself and find flaws, especially in your appearance. But when you really think about it, cheating is a result of selfishness. Selfish people are only thinking of, wait for it, themselves. So it really has nothing […]
You’re going to have bad body image days. It’s normal and no matter what you look like, it’s bound to happen now and then. But when the bad days turn into bad weeks, months, or even years…that’s when you know you have to really try to get yourself out of the rut. One way to […]
It’s more common than you think to find patterns of eating disorders in athletes. When your main focus is on the performance of your body, you start finding flaws where other people probably wouldn’t. You search for every single thing you can control about your performance, and it soon turns into unhealthy behavior. On this […]
Lots of women are feeling guilty after eating anything, even if it’s considered healthy food. If your relationship with food is a constant battle, you’re in the right place. There is a range of disordered eating habits, sometimes you don’t realize it’s happening until someone else points it out. Today, I have a friend of […]
It’s not easy to start liking your body when you’re hyper-focused on your appearance. The best way to get started is actually by thinking of your body as a tool rather than a project. There’s a saying that goes like this, “your body is not a work of art, your body is the paint brush. […]
What is diet culture? It’s everywhere and once you start seeing it, it’s almost impossible to stop. Diet culture is the idea that in order to be happy and healthy, everyone has to look a certain way. This $66 billion dollar industry thrives on convincing people it’s their fault if the product (aka diets, exercise […]
Learning to prevent your feelings from being controlled by others is key to living a happy, low-stress life. The main causes of resentment, disappointment, and general saltiness come from not taking ownership of your feelings and not communicating your expectations. Read that last sentence again, because it’s important. I want to make sure you really […]
It’s possible to resolve conflict in a healthy way, no matter the outcome. When you resolve conflict in a healthy, confident way you’ll get better at avoiding conflict altogether in the future. The first step in resolving a conflict is understanding what’s really at the heart of the disagreement. Usually, the answer is someone’s feelings […]
How does silence make you feel? Anxious, nervous, or maybe comfortable and at ease? Your relationship with silence says a lot about your self value and confidence. The way you feel about silence is greatly influenced by your history with it. Maybe someone in your past would give you “the silent treatment” when you did […]
There’s so much stress around your wedding day, the last think you want to be worrying about is how to look good in your wedding pictures. With all the pressure put on you to create the “perfect day” it’s easy to forget to actually enjoy your wedding. You and your future husband are planning your […]
High rise jeans changed my relationship with my hips. Hips gets a lot of attention, people talk about them a lot. We compare them to muffins, Coke bottles, and lots of other things. I always used to think I had chubby hips, I hated the way my jeans fit. It wasn’t until I discovered high […]
Talking about periods shouldn’t be taboo anymore, okay? So I’m sharing all the reasons I love my Lena Cup. It makes me seriously angry that no one properly educated me (or any women I know) about menstrual cups. They’re great for so many reasons! I’m taking it upon myself to share with you all the […]
The fitness industry trained you to put exercise in a little, constricting box. It tells you exercise is meant to fix your physical flaws and make your body more appealing to others. I’m going to train you to forget that nonsense and believe something new about exercise. What if exercise could be enjoyable? Would you […]
Knowing the causes of negative body image helps guide you towards healing those beliefs. No matter what your body actually looks like, the way you think about yourself determines your body image. Since you were young, you followed the example of your parents and family. This did not stop at learning to walk, talk, and […]
This industry isn’t one you hear about every day. I’m not an accountant or a teacher. So I get a lot of questions like, who is going to hire a body confidence coach? or, “what does a body confidence coach do?” In today’s episode, I’m walking you through a “behind the scenes” look at my […]
One of the best gifts I’ve given myself is learning to stop being self conscious. Easier said than done. For me, facing the fear was a great way to realize it’s not so scary! I thought about what made me self conscious and decided to put it out into the world. Guess what? Soon, it […]
Looking better isn’t the answer to feeling good about yourself. Sure, sometimes it’s fun to get dressed up and put on lipstick (it sure makes me feel good!) But there’s more to feeling good than simply looking good, you have to really like who you are and see value in yourself. That’s harder to do than contour […]
You can’t help but believe this common body image myth. Thoughts and assumptions are very weird things, and I want to talk about a few right now. Have you heard of cognitive biases? Well, a man named Charlie Munger, partner to Warren Buffet at Berkshire Hathaway, introduced 25 cognitive biases in his talk, “The Psychology […]
Most women feel a pressure to be perfect in lots of areas of their life; at work, at home, and definitely in bed. What happens what you’re self conscious about your body and uncomfortable talking about it with your partner? Or even when you’re not in a serious relationship…what happens when that dry-spell starts messing […]
Understanding your identity and body image starts at a very young age. When you’re young, the only way to know who you are is by comparing yourself to other people. This is normal and not necessarily unhealthy. If your comparisons are mostly negative and you’re telling yourself you’re “not good enough” compared to other people, […]
Most women struggle with self doubt and confidence issues. You’re not the only one. We think, “I want to believe in myself, but I don’t know how when things get tough.” Yeah, I’ve been there. The good news? Resilience is a skill you can learn. You can actually teach yourself to “rebound” more quickly from […]
When you’re dealing with insecurities you inherently question your self value. You feel like you should be able to move on from things that make you feel unworthy, but pushing them down doesn’t make them disappear. The only way to truly dissolve your insecurities and embrace your worth as a woman is to face the […]
You might be thinking, “wouldn’t it be easy to be confident if my body was perfect? That’s what I’ve always wanted!” Well, the truth is your confidence has nothing to do with what you look like. If you feel like you need to stop worrying and start living your life, you need to know why […]
I happily indulge in using movie quotes to drive home a point, so here’s a favorite. “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t slow down and take a look around once in awhile, you might miss it.” I’m not going to tell you who said that or what movie it’s from, because you should KNOW. […]
I totally get it, getting healthy takes a long time, but you want results fast because it feels like a competition. Whether you’re on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, everyone is trying to outdo each other one way or another. If you’re in the fitness world, it’s making gains and having a big butt. Decorating your […]
God, the universe, whatever you believe in…they put you on this earth for a higher purpose than to be attractive. The purpose of your life can’t just be to be beautiful and have people like you. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, here in the US, and it’s got me thinkin’ about just how thankful I am […]
My best friend Ali has a son named George (I know, it’s adorable) and sometimes George gets upset when we’re shopping. He really wants a toy. He wants to look at toys, buy toys, play with toys…he really likes cars and trucks. But Ali and I have been around the block once or twice with […]
It’s so easy to get caught up in comparisonitis! Yes, that might be a made up word, but it’s a good one. Comparing yourself to what you see in others is the fastest way to shred your confidence. Today on the podcast, I’m sharing a super quick way to fight that comparisonitis as soon as […]
Finding confidence is a personal journey you and I are both on. Being confident in who you are and what you look like is almost impossible without serious work being done everyday. You’re constantly being told you need to “fix” things about yourself. In the blog posts, product descriptions, and even email headlines you’re reading […]