be known

We've all had to survive. And that in of itself is extremely hard. So it seems like it's time to honor what it's taken for us to survive.

Listen in.

How many of us have been conditioned to believe that our wants and desires don't matter or that they're inherently wrong? So we don't really ever get acquainted with or acknowledge our wants.

But we do have permission to want. And we have permission to name what we want.

Listen in.

Resources mentioned and links:

There is so much pain. So much trauma. So much sorrow. So much grief. Too much knowledge of good and evil.

The world is longing for the light. For life instead.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Coined by Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of EFT, pursuers and withdrawers are often the roles people play in their close relationships, especially romantic relationships. Some relationships may have two pursuers. Some two withdrawers. But many times one is the pursuer and one the withdrawer, and it causes a lot of tension and conflict.

So let's talk look at each, provide a description of their behaviors, deeper needs and feelings, strengths and weaknesses and then talk about how to start moving forward.

Resources and Links Mentioned:

We all need to process through our experiences. We may not always be able to know the meaning behind something or why it happened in our lives, but we can understand it more fully and notice how we feel and think in it, because of it.

Today, we're talking about the difference between internal and external processors, as well as slow vs. fast processors.

Listen in!

Resources and links mentioned

We all need connection, but not all connection is the same. There are various types of connection, and there are different levels of connection, too, based on the different kinds of relationships we have.

So let's identify these kinds of connection so we understand them better.

Come connect with me on our new Instagram page:

It's so good to be back! We've taken a couple of months off, and now I'm reminding listeners what this podcast is all about as we ease into new episodes this fall! Listen in.

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Narratives are powerful, but they can be changed. What if it's possible to change the narrative we have about ourselves?

Resources and Links Mentioned:

We all grow and change through the years, and hopefully, we mature, too. I wish I'd known (and done) some things differently regarding friendships, so here are some of those things so you (or a young person you know) can begin to start approaching friendship in more healthy ways.

Resources and Links Mentioned:

Boundaries are all kinds of magic. Let's talk about the nervous system and how boundaries can help the nervous system get regulated and reduce stress.

Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

What if we chose to see beyond others' behaviors, beyond their defenses, and saw the inner child in them instead?

It could be transformative in our relationships.

Listen in.

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Most people are beginning to realize how empathy needs to play a role in all relationships, but they're not sure how. In this episode, we'll give some specific statements and behaviors to help. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in the Episode: 

We all have a story. And if we're not willing to look back at it, process it, move through it, and resolve it, our relationships will suffer. Sometimes, they'll suffer greatly. Let's talk about the impact our stories can have. 

Resources and Links Mentioned: 

As a follow-up to the last episode, today, we're digging deeper into secure attachment and how to get there. This is is one of the most important topics you'll ever need to talk about and understand as you pursue healthier relationships, so listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode: 

Written by my friend and boss, Carianne Pritchett, a Licensed Professional Counselor, Episode 77 is her story of how she realized she didn't know secure attachments in her relationships and how she began to heal. We're talking briefly about attachment styles and beginning the conversation on how to heal and develop more secure attachments. Next episode, we'll talk more about secure attachments with others. Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation lately-- people who are struggling in their relationships, something major had happened, the same old patterns are happening and nothing's changing. And they don't know whether to leave the relationship or stay. This could be in many different types of relationships, too, not just romantic. So, even though this topic is complicated and will always depend on the individual's situation, here are some signs it may be time to walk away. Listen in. 

Also, the podcast is taking a short two-week break! I'll see you soon :). 

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

We talk about being intentional with others, but what does it mean? In this episode we're talking about how to be intentional in our relationships. Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

We aren't always very kind to ourselves. I think a lot of the expectations we have of ourselves are unrealistic and unhealthy, so let's talk about how to adjust them so we can be kinder. And more compassionate and gracious. Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

As humans, we all need to do better at apology, normalizing it and practicing it in effective, honest ways. Let's jump into what genuine apology is and is not.   Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

We're not always great at allowing others to interrupt our lives, to stop us to talk and we listen or call us and we actually answer. Or make a bid for connection and we don't turn away. We're not great at this at all. We don't like for our lives to be interrupted. We don't want to be stopped, to be inconvenienced. And that's kind of a selfish way to live. Let's talk about it. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

We're jumping back into the podcast after a little break with a hot topic. Today, we're talking about modesty culture, how it negatively affected young women in the church, and how we can begin making a shift in thinking and how we handle modesty from this point on so we're not leading to more body shame. We're not about that anymore because that's messing up the relationship we have with ourselves. Cool? Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

Dr. Camden Morgante on Modesty Culture: 

So you know how we are getting better at expressing our needs to our humans? Well, it's very possible our humans might not be able to meet the need we have, the one we specifically requested they meet. And if we're honest, we often feel hurt, betrayed, and even attacked when they have to say no. We also feel anxious because now we have to figure out who else to ask. Let's talk about what it looks like to handle this with grace. 

Also, this is a see you soon episode! The podcast will be back in August! 

Resources and Links Mentioned in the Episode: 

Sometimes people will tell us something that is true or that has a little truth in it, and it can be super painful for us to hear. I value truth and clarity and honesty in my relationships. In fact, I don’t have time for people who won’t show up authentically. But sometimes that honesty hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot.

Especially when it feels true.

What do we do when someone tells us something that is hard to hear or that reinforces a negative belief about ourselves? Or what if what they are saying has truth to it?

How can we respond?

Resources and links mentioned in this episode: 

I think we're all a little angry right now. And grieving. And rightfully so with everything going on in our world and in our nation. So today, I'm just making space for that, but also for us who believe in Jesus to remember who we are. To not let our anger consume when it feels hard to love. We're in Colossians 3. Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode: 

My friend Mary B. Safrit, host of the Unsuitable Podcast, a podcast for single Christians, is our guest today. She shares about the importance of friendship to a single person and why it's so hard when friendships end. She then gives us five helpful practices when our friends leave that I think will be helpful for singles and non-singles alike. All of us know the pain of losing a friend, so I hope you enjoy today's episode written and recorded by my dear friend! 

Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode: 

How to connect with Mary B. --> 

In this episode, we're talking about the concept of rupture and repair, often discussed in the field of psychotherapy. But we're not looking at rupture and repair in our relationships with others. We're looking at the process in our relationship with ourselves. How I treat myself matters, and it's time I took steps to repair any damage I've caused here. Listen in. 

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

Sometimes we set limits in ways that are hurtful to others, like really hurtful. I asked a friend of mine to share a story of when this has happened to him. Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

We can talk a lot on the concept of emotional boundaries. What if our emotions have too much of an affect on someone else? Or what if we can't seem to separate ourselves from the emotions of others? Come on in. What does it mean to have good emotional boundaries? Let's sit a while and chat about it. 

Resources and links mentioned in this episode: 

When we have good boundaries, we aren't taking as our own someone else's consequences for their decisions. But what if in some cases we do? What if we have to deal with their consequences for whatever reason? How can we handle that? Listen in. 

Resources mentioned in this Episode: 

Today, I'm being honest with you about how I've not really felt God near lately. How I've had questions, but I'm not sure he's been answering. I'm sure many of you can relate. So in true Kerrah fashion, we're not going to pretend we don't feel confused and frustrated about this. As always, I hope my vulnerability will help you be honest with yourself, too. 

Resources and links mentioned in this episode: 

There is a distinct difference between grace and enabling. One is the obviously more healthy choice. One is not. So how can we do the former without slipping into the latter? How can we show grace without enabling someone else's harmful behavior? Listen in. 

Resources and Links Mentioned: 

To think about the characteristics of unsafe vs. safe people, go listen to episode 43, Safe People. But let's talk about a part of this that feels hard. What do we do when our safe people no longer feel safe? We'll talk about some behaviors that would make us feel unsafe and some possible next steps when that happens. Listen in. 

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Though not everything is redeemed in the way we'd hoped, I'm a firm believer that everything is redeemable. It's one thing that brings me hope. In this episode, we are digging into what redemption can mean in our lives. 

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