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Ask Your Gay Uncle

Ask Your Gay Uncle

By Ben Palacios
Join gay uncles Ben Palacios & Tom Truss for advice, antics, tender moments, and tough love.
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Ask Your Gay Uncle is taking a hiatus from making episodes.  We hope to be back soon! Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy Stories Ben Palacios on Instagram and Twitter Tom Truss on Instagram Jacqui Anders on Instagram
August 23, 2021
46. Listeners Talk Pride
In honor of LGBTQIA+ Pride Month we asked listeners to answer the question, “What does pride mean to you?”Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
June 30, 2021
45. Meet PENNYWILD: DJ, Choreographer, and Musical Theatre NERD!
Tommy and Ben interview PENNYWILD: queer DJ, choreographer, digital marketing producer, and self-proclaimed musical theatre nerd!  She talks about turning jealousy into inspiration and finding her true self in the entertainment world.  In the Generation Gap, Penny and the Guncles dig down the musical theater rabbit hole...  but only one of them comes out killing it.   Penny highlights RENT as her Moment in Culture.Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
June 09, 2021
44. Self-Worth
The Guncles answer an email from a listener with 5 questions that all revolve around self-worth.  This Generation Gap highlights LGBTQ luminaries from Ben and Tommy’s respective generations. Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
June 02, 2021
43. Comedian Drew Droege, Part 2: “It’s on gay executives...”
Drew Droege is an actor, writer, and comedian from Heathers, Search Party, Bob’s Burgers, and Drunk History, and perhaps best known for his viral parody videos about Chloe Sevigny. In part 2, Drew and the Guncles discuss LGBTQ+ representation in the entertainment industry, and Drew shares his Guncle of the Week duo: filmmaker John Waters and the groundbreaking drag queen Divine. Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
May 26, 2021
42. Comedian Drew Droege, Part 1: “Monster in a wig”
Drew Droege is an actor, writer, and comedian from Heathers, Search Party, Bob’s Burgers, and Drunk History, and perhaps best known for his viral parody videos about Chloe Sevigny. Drew joins the Guncles to answer listener questions and discuss comedy, admitting fault, and why he loves playing a “monster in a wig”.Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
May 20, 2021
41. Ben and Tommy Apologize
Several listeners have written in pointing out hurtful remarks made by Tommy and Ben in previous episodes.  The Guncles each apologize, and share their reflections on the harmful nature of their statements.  Tommy’s Gauntie of The Week is Sharon Ellison, author, speaker, Founder and Director of the Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication.Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
May 05, 2021
40. Grindr Scammers! (and Ben’s Empathy Homework)
Ben reports on how his "Empathic Sonar" homework is going, Tommy shares how he deals with guys who are trying to scam him on dating apps, and the Guncles answer a listener question about age gaps in relationships.Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
April 28, 2021
39. Meet Sex Coach, Court Vox
Somatic sex educator Court Vox helps a listener find a deeper connection in sex. Ben opens up about his challenges with maintaining long-term sexual interest in a partner: “How do I want something I already have?”Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
April 21, 2021
38. “I accidentally found his will…”
A listener has been providing extensive care for an elderly friend with Parkinson's, who has promised to include this listener in his will.  This listener accidentally happened upon the will... read it… and discovered that he was not, in fact, included.  What should he do?  Later in the episode, Tommy invents a new game and The Guncles chat about Winnebagos and turkey basters.Donate  /  Instagram  /  Twitter  /  Steamy
April 14, 2021
37. “How can I develop empathetic sonar?”
Ben seeks advice from Tommy on ways to develop his ‘empathetic sonar.’ How does one practice reading the emotions and needs of those around them? Gauntie of the Week is trail-blazing doctor Margaret Chung, the first American-born Chinese female physician. Dr. Chung treated naval pilots and officers in WWII and helped establish WAVES (Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service). She drank bootleg liquor, drove an electric blue sportscar, and dated actresses and lesbian
March 31, 2021
36. Gays Over COVID and DIY Decorating
One listener asks about a vigilante Instagram account called “Gays Over COVID” that outs gays for partying amidst the pandemic… What do The Guncles think about this social media call-out culture phenomenon aimed at gay men? Another listener working from home seeks advice on how to spruce up her apartment on a budget.  Tommy and Ben battle in a game themed Generation Gap.  Gauntie Of The Week is drag king Stormé DeLarvarie, who redefined women’s fashion, ignited the Stonewall riots, and patrolled the streets of downtown Manhattan into her 80’s protecting the LGBTQ+ community like a queer
March 24, 2021
35. “Gay The Pray Away” with Erika Allison, Conversion Therapy Survivor
Author, mechanical engineer, interfaith minister and self proclaimed “hummingbird,” Erika Allison discusses her new book “Gay The Pray Away.”  She talks about overcoming the trauma from conversion therapy and offers advice for LGBTQ+ people struggling with all forms of identity
March 17, 2021
34. “It’s about two women falling in love…”
One listener tells a story about his young niece being crushed that she wasn’t old enough to watch a French film about two women falling in love… so he asks the Guncles for help finding family-friendly LGBTQ+ media to share with his niece.  Survey winner Alice hops on the pod to play Workshop/Greenlight/Blacklist and present “Gauntie of the Week”: Greek poet and OG Lesbian,
March 10, 2021
33. Talking Drag with “Gay Spy” Michael Seligman
Michael Seligman writes and produces incredible content with a focus on drag, drag history and untold queer stories.  His work includes Ru Paul’s Drag Race, the documentary P.S. Burn This Letter Please, and the hit podcast Mob Queens to name a few.  Michael joins The Guncles to discuss his latest projects, play Generation Gap, and present Guncle of the Week: Rae Bourbon (drag pioneer born in 1892)
March 03, 2021
32. “His stepmom blocked me on Facebook...”
Jacqui joins The Guncles to share our survey results and announce the winner… with a special surprise!  One listener needs advice on how to meet her boyfriend’s Trump-loving dad and the stepmom (who blocked her on Facebook).  Another listener wonders what to do when her sexual needs directly clash with her partner’s boundaries.  Guncle of the Week is Khalid Abdel-Hadi, founder of Jordan’s first LGBTQ+ online
February 24, 2021
31. Networking, Bad Texters, and Sex With Women
The Guncles answer a listener question about their sexual experience with women, and whether they feel they’re missing out as gay men. In “Guncle To Guncle” Tommy seeks advice on dealing with a “bad texter” and Ben seeks advice on career
February 17, 2021
30. Tommy’s Biggest Challenge, Part 2: The Aftermath
Tommy shares the single biggest challenge he’s ever faced.  Start with "Part 1: The Accident"
February 10, 2021
29. Tommy’s Biggest Challenge, Part 1: The Accident
Tommy shares the single biggest challenge he’s ever faced.  WARNING: This episode contains graphic descriptions of a traumatic accident involving injury and
February 04, 2021
28. To sex or not to sex?
The Guncles answer a listener question about having sex on dates vs. hookups.  On another question they explore being out and employable in the realms of dance, theatre, and film.  A listener shares his personal story of being content as a gay man, a father and grandfather, while married to a
January 27, 2021
27. “Objectification with a side of consent please”
The Guncles answer a listener question about oversexualization and objectification in gay culture, particularly on social media.  Ben opens up about his sexualized instagram persona.  Tommy presents Gauntie of the Week: trans tennis player Renée Richards, who famously sued the US Open for the right to compete as a woman… and
January 20, 2021
26. A Very COVID Christmas
Ben and Tommy get tested for Covid, go head-to-head in a Christmas Carol battle, and help a listener celebrate a solo New Year’s
December 25, 2020
25. Relationship Regrets and Homo-NO-phobia
The Guncles share past relationship regrets and answer a listener question regarding who receives more prejudice, gay men or lesbians.  Ben’s “Moment of Culture” begins at a Mexican drag party in 1901… 
December 17, 2020
24. Sex On the First Date? Gay Movies With Straight Actors?
Gay romantic movies, how long to wait before sex, and how to create an LGBT+ friendly household for your
December 10, 2020
23. Anthony Meindl: Our Favorite Hollywood Guncle
Writer, filmmaker, and acting coach Anthony Meidl joins The Guncles to answer listener questions, play Generation Gap and discuss his new book and award-winning
December 03, 2020
22. Cartoons, Crushes, and Breaking The Friendzone
The Guncles discuss their first crushes.  Tommy helps Ben break through the friendzone and Ben helps Tommy craft a flirty text.  In "The Generation Gap" they test each other’s knowledge of
November 25, 2020
21. Sisters Tell All, part 2: Ben
Tommy interviews Ben’s
November 18, 2020
20. Sisters Tell All, part 1: Tommy
Ben interviews Tommy’s
November 11, 2020
19. Experimenting in College and Women Who Watch Gay Porn
The Guncles answer three listener questions:  Can you be "not gay enough"?  How do you connect with other LGBTQ+ people in college?   Are women who like gay porn fetishizing gay men?
October 28, 2020
18. The Civil Rights Hero You Weren’t Taught About In History: Bayard Rustin, and His Partner Walter Naegle
The Guncles celebrate gay civil rights hero Bayard Rustin, and interview his long time partner Walter
October 21, 2020
17. ‘Sexpert’ Zachary Zane on Bisexuality, Bottoming, and Masc4Masc
The Guncles are joined by Zachary Zane, sex columnist for Men’s Health and self-proclaimed “ethical manwhore."
October 16, 2020
16. It’s National Coming Out Day!!!
Thirteen stories about coming out, as told by our
October 11, 2020
15. Daddies, Ultimatums, and the word “Faggot”
The Guncles answer a series of questions with two common themes:  Daddies and difficult
October 07, 2020
14. Religion, part 2: Have your Faith and Eat it Too!
The Guncles give advice to a closeted Christian who’s considering remaining in the closet permanently.  Five LGBTQ+ guests from five different religions share how they reconcile their faith with their
September 29, 2020
13. Religion, part 1: Gay and Christian? Father Rico Avila Breaks The Bread
How do you reconcile being Christian with being gay?  Father Rico Avila joins The Guncles to answer this difficult question and share his outrageous coming out story, in which he fell in love with his Priest... and
September 16, 2020
12. Golden Gays, Coming Out Late, and Battle of the Pride 1973
Ben and Tommy dive into the drama of the 1973 Gay Pride rally.  The Guncles discuss the growing prevalence of “Golden Gays” and advise a newly-out 52 year old man how to catch up on “missed gay experiences.”
September 08, 2020
11. Shoulder Demons, Sexual Deviants, and Dr. Eric Cervini and Ben interview LGBTQ+ historian Dr. Eric Cervini about his New York Times bestseller, The Deviant’s War: The Homosexual vs. The United States of America.  The Guncles check in on advice they gave each other in previous episodes, and discuss why it’s so scary to make the first move!
August 24, 2020
10. The Body Episode
The Guncles answer a series of questions about bodies and body image.  Tommy presents Mexican-American lesbian photographer Laura Aguilar. More at
August 14, 2020
9. Gay Uncle’s Day, Simon Dunn, and Badass Bitches!
The guncles interview hunky Australian rugby and bobsled star, Simon Dunn, about being an out pro-athlete and a gay uncle. Tommy and Ben quiz each other on iconic TV/cinema from their childhood. More at
August 06, 2020
8. Dating Apps, OnlyFans, and Meeting the Parents
Is it safe to subscribe to OnlyFans?  How do you get solo time with your lover when their friends keep getting in the way?  Ben seeks advice on bringing someone home to meet the family.  More at
July 30, 2020
7. The Porn Episode
Tommy and Ben go down the porn rabbit-hole.  Special guest Bruce Merkle presents Guncle of The Week, legendary Hollywood film director George
July 23, 2020
6. Sissies, Threesomes, and Puppies
The guncles tease apart derogatory words like sissy, poontang, and pecker.  Ben considers a threesome.
July 16, 2020
5. PrEP, Lies, and Friends (not the sitcom)
Tommy and Ben discuss the details of PrEP.  The uncles also tackle friends that don't get along, friends that fall in love with friends, and friends that have a bone to pick with their friends.
July 09, 2020
Bonus: Deep Dive with Tommy and Ben
An extended "Guncle-to-Guncle".  Tommy and Ben share some deeply personal stories.
July 09, 2020
4. Magic Carpets and White Patriarchy
How can we let in the feeling of love? How do gay white men benefit from the Patriarchy? What do the Guncles want for the next generation of Guncles?
June 28, 2020
3. Homos in the Arts and the Generation Gap
Why are there so many gay men in the arts?  Tommy and Ben examine the Generation Gap.
June 28, 2020
2. DMs, Radical Faeries, and Burying the Hatchet
Ben gets a lesson about the Radical Faeries. Tommy gets a lesson about DMs.  Both uncles explore ways to forgive and move on.
June 28, 2020
Bonus: Stonewall, F4, and David Scott
A bonus track commemorating the Stonewall Riots. Hear David Scott, a regular at the Stonewall Inn, share his experience as a gay young adult in the late 60's and his first hand description of those momentous nights.
June 28, 2020
Introducing Ask Your Gay Uncle
Gay uncles Ben Palacios & Tom Truss introduce their new podcast of advice, antics, tender moments, and tough love.
June 12, 2020