Beyond the basement

These two are core practices from authentic relating that really help me navigate life's challenges. And life dealt me a sizable one recently. So I took that as an invite to practice what I preach... One of my edgier episodes. In case you're left wondering how things are after this episode - I now have a clean bill of health.

Last Saturday a bunch of improvisers explored what it's like to welcome and reveal your inner world, in a warm and fuzzy workshop I hosted called Undefended Improv. Here's an exploration, insights and juicy finds.

This word keeps popping up in life recently. At a session planning Leeds festival of play, in improv and from feedback I receive about my vibe. Here's an exploration of what it might be, and how I suspect we could all use a bit more curious, playful and flirty vibes in life.

Maybe you take your high standards and expectations for granted. There's nothing wrong with having them, but they can leave you feeling bruised and tender, if you're relentlessly striving and pushing yourself. Join me pool-side as we explore what could be going on inside, if you're sad, dissatisfied or frustrated.

We've been exploring finding your calm, when people piss you off, upset you or otherwise knock you off-balance. I'm doing some embodiment training in Somerset, here's some helpful techniques I've been learning.

A micro reflection on bringing about stuff you really care about, or not.

A quick walkthrough of the journey into more rewarding, heartfelt and blissful improv that I'll be taking people on next month. I explain some thinking behind the workshop, what's in store and how it all goes together into a deep yet gentle learning experience.

Later today I'll be exploring how to unlock more connection and play in your life, with my friend Anya Pearse. Anya is hosting the 2024 Unlocking Happiness Summit. I'll share our conversation on socials once it's published.

There's a part of you that's utterly terrified to experience certain feelings, and it'll do anything to prevent that. Yet those very same feelings are often what stand between us and what we really need. This short exploration examined what's really going on, and how we might comfortably navigate tricky reactions, without brutalising ourselves.

There's a particular kind of bliss in sharing what it's like being you, regardless of how that's met. When you write, talk or otherwise create, you're meeting a fundamental human need to be seen/heard, valued and understood. Some reflections on what's going on and how to get more in your life.

Tonight at the Leeds improv Co-Lab, we'll be playing a listening game to reveal more depth in conversation, and get closer to our fellow humans. In this episode I'll explore an Authentic Relating game that helps to do this - which has value in everyday life, as well as Improv.

Gosh it's TOUGH bringing an idea to life, isn't it? Especially when you really care about the things you want to create. This could be a career, relationship, business, or (if you're me) a workshop. Here are some reflections on how we defend and deny ourselves the things which our hearts desire.

I had a delightful evening huffing and puffing myself into euphoria at a breathwork session, during a recent retreat. Join me on my morning-after walk through a rural valley, reflecting on what it's like to meet yourself.

There's something about old, abandoned relics of recent history that hits me in the guy every time. They're so evocative to me, alive with the past presence of humans. Join me as I unashamedly geek out on a bunker I discovered on a recent walk on the Lincolnshire coast.

What happens if you DARE to tell the truth about what it's like being you. I've just been on another retreat and I took a risk, when I had a BIG reaction to something that happened there. In this episode I explore one of the 5 practices of authentic relating.

Chris stops driving for a wee, where he meets a man with a camera in a layby. This leads to a chance encounter and a rare experience in nature.

There's a possibility that the thing you're nervous about doing, could actually go well! Yes, I know. You're allowed to have fun. Despite expecting and preparing for the worst to happen.

I take a secret phone break from the weekend courses I'm on, all about embodiment. This is the art of how we physically express and relate to the world through our posture, state and physiology - what your body is up to. This playful little game I talk about can reveal a lot about you.

I’ve a theory that as we near possibility of those things we want most (at an innermost, spiritual level), we meet and expose layer after layer of defence. Defences unwittingly created in youth to avoid the pain, like disappointment, shame, judgement, loneliness and everything else. Feelings we stand a good chance of experiencing if we take risks, and things (inevitably) go wrong, in pursuit of what we desire.

When it comes to finding calm and contentment, all the evidence points to how much we pay attention to nature while we're in it. If you know it's good for you, but find your mind races while you take a walk in the park, try these games to bring you into the here-and-now. Solo friendly.

Chris gets ambushed by an inconvenient old friend in front of everyone. This prompts a short reflection on how we relate to the myriad parts of ourselves that we'd prefer weren't there, yet live inside all of us.

Join Chris on a park bench as we dive into the big P: perfectionism. What it is and how it shows up - as the urge to fix, correct, improve and make better or right.

'Love yourself' is terrible, ambiguous advice. Same with 'self-love', implying all you need is a bubble bath to heal yourself. To help, I'm sharing three, possibly more helpful, definitions of what love is when it comes to relating to yourself, as well as others.

Every time something doesn't work out the way we expected, that's a form of grief, I reckon. Some reflections on navigating the tricky stuff, crouched beneath a mighty oak.

Today's rant is about toxic goal-setting. Why would anyone set themselves up for failure? I also suggest a healthier, more gentle way to express and get what you want from the year ahead.

Stood on a hillside, the dog has my back. We're watching out for each other. But all that watching out can get in the way of experiencing what's really going on in the moment. Where there's fun to be had. Some reflections from improv.

Staring into the eyes of another human is INTENSE. Animals only do it for two reasons, and they both begin with F. So it's no wonder we rarely hold gaze into the eyes of our fellow humans for very long. Yet what would happen if we did? The eyes don't lie. What will we see and find in there? This month at Leeds improv Co-Lab we'll be playing with safe ways to make eye contact and transmit the message "Hey human! I'm here with you - wanna play?" What do your eyes say?

You lot asked for it, here it is. Collected stories and reflections on ways to navigate the profound discomfort of job dissatisfaction, and the uncertainty of what lurks on the other side. Includes insight and tips to help you find hope in what seems like a hopeless situation.

Our bodies do everything they can to protect us from emotional (and physical) pain. And what a marvellous job it does of that. Yet inside pain, in the shadows, lurk valuable lessons and uncomfortable truths. Truths that when exposed can actually liberate us from subsequent pain in the future.

Relentless doing and making can be a way to avoid tricky feelings like disconnection. But it's also an expression of creativity and love. What is healthy doing and making? How might we let ourselves off the hook when we're not up to much else? Chris has a weekend by himself to explore all this, and makes a washstand in the process.

Everyone remembers a great teacher, right? One of my favourite teachers (Andêl Sudik) ran a workshop for my improv community last week, which left me inspired, hopeful and mischievous... Some reflections on what improv reveals about life, our vibe, and how to enjoy more of the here-and-now.

Anger wants to move. If it can't, we suffer. But what even is it? How do we move it in a healthy way? I share some reflections and insight from my own experiences with anger - like waking up in a right funk this morning...

A chance conversation at last night's improv for newcomers event led to this reflection all about being a grown-up, seriousness, play, and what it is to be a 'whole' human. And why we might need more of the latter.

I didn't have a very gentle introduction to improv. In fact, it was pretty brutal. I didn't sleep for 4 days. So here's what I'd do differently. What I will do differently, as today I host my first basics taster improv session, inviting newbies to come join and play our little community in Leeds.

My friend Lody is a contact improviser in Holland. We have a late night chat about what it is and how it relates to the usual kind of improv I bang on about here.

Do you have unrelentingly high standards? Ever beat yourself up because nothing's ever quite good enough? Can you spot flaws and mistakes in everything? It could be that you have a particularly vocal inner critic, or live with a high degree of judgement in your life. Here's my heartfelt exploration of what it's like living with judgement, how it behaves under stress and security, as well as a few helpful reframes if you relate to any of this.

What is anger? How do you feel about it? Classic BtB territory here as I process some recent triggers that provoked my own unique flavour of anger. There's also reflections on how we might express it in healthier ways so it doesn't linger and torment.

I wonder out-loud if there's an appetite for more human-to-human tenderness. By that I mean vulnerable moments where we're both answering the question "what's it like being you" openly, without fear of shame, judgement and reprisal.

Even if you're not a dog person, these furry, stripped-back mammals hold the wisdom of the universe in their tiny minds, if we're open to listening. Here's everything (so far) I'm learning about peace, presence, trust and other virtues, from Laurie.

I accidentally-on-purpose crafted a really productive day, even though what came out of it was 'wrong'. Here are some reflections on what we might do to affect our state (energy, motivation, moods), and what works - so we feel hopeful, inspired and creative, regardless of outcomes. Note: not all my days are like this...

A fruitful first wander in the wintry French countryside reminds me how people and memories leave a spooky kind of residue.

Here's how to tell if your beautiful mind isn't serving you as well as it could be at the moment. We'll explore five common symptoms of 'being up in your head' as we call it in improv - not enjoying the here-and-now, feeling fatigued and fed-up, like you don't know, zoned out or dwelling on the past/future. There's hope here too, as we explore antidotes and ways to break the cycle of excess thinking.

Here's what happens when we put a little effort into feeling good about where we are and who we're with. These are my reflections from a recent Leeds improv Co-Lab play session I hosted, exploring these ideas to see how they improve our performance and free up our natural potential.

Before, during and after a tricky experience - how do you support yourself, if at all? When the panic, fear, shame, anger arrives, do you distract yourself or sit with it? Or like many people I expect do you just accept mild traumatizing as part of the deal you didn't sign up for when you were born?

I hear this phrase a LOT in the change work I do with individuals. People usually say it when we come up against the very value or belief you have that's at the root of some behaviour that's unhelpful, holding you back or otherwise not serving you any more. It's a denial of the very thing that defines you as a human - your ability to learn, cope and adapt.

What links a chilly dawn swim and improv? Let's find out shall we... I've just emerged from a very cold lake. I can barely feel my hands. Yet my still frozen body has all manner of juicy reflections for you from yesterday's big workshop, about finding calm in your body, landing in the here-and-now, when you're a bit panicked, stressed or distracted.

Chris gets spooked at the dentist, feels a bit sensitive, then talks all about how we might all do well to become better listeners and communicators alongside each other. Instead of fixers and solvers. Sure, we need both. But mainly more of the former, I reckon.

Ever had one of these? After a big event, a risk taken, a tough conversation or being in front of a group. You get a sort of fragile, sad, hyper-sensitive feeling in the hours or days afterwards that's difficult to place. Here's what could be going on.

It's another lesson I'm doomed to learn over and over again, or people like me. This week it's seeing things as either wholly bad/wrong or wholly good/right, with no room for the colourful nuance in between. Because that's where the richness of life is. And things are rarely either/or. Life is full of paradox, two seemingly opposing truths both being equally valid - like I'm excited AND I'm scared. That didn't go to plan, AND people loved it.

A quick reflection on how last night's play session at Leeds Improv Co-Lab went. It was all about feeling into the here-and-now, and noticing who's right alongside us. Basically feeling safe and comfortable enough to have a jolly nice time. This is a stepping stone towards offering a more immersive, day-long workshop all about this thing I care about and have struggled with myself sometimes - not just in improv, in everyday life too. Maybe you can relate, even if you've never improvised? Being all up in your head, panicky, zoned out or distracted and overthinking things. The scourge of this modern age.