Skip to main content
Biology for Bastards

Biology for Bastards

By John Doty
Teaching biology in the most profane way you've ever seen or heard
Listen on Spotify
Where to listen
Apple Podcasts Logo

Apple Podcasts

Castbox Logo


Google Podcasts Logo

Google Podcasts

Spotify Logo


Stitcher Logo


Life Update: I'm Still Alive
Definitely not a normal episode. Filling you all in on where I've been the last forever. Recorded in my car so audio kind of sucks. TW: Talk of depression, alcohol use, and death of doggos.
April 22, 2022
S2: Chapter 10 - All About Sex
The title says it all. SEX! Join the Patreon party at or visit
May 25, 2020
S2: Chapter 9 - Species and Speciation
WHERE DO NEW THINGS COME FROM!?!? Join the party at Visit for more info!
May 18, 2020
Biology for BISCUITS: FORK Koalas!
A CENSORED(!) episode where I rant about Koalas. Vote for the show to win People's Choice  HERE An uncensored version is available on
May 12, 2020
S2: Chapter 8 - Evolution in Space
Evolutioooon innnn spaaaaaaace!!!!  Just kidding, its a geographic space, not outer space. Don't forget to join the party on Patreon at or at
May 11, 2020
Patreon Sneak Peek - Dinosaurs
In honor of the newly formed Patreon page, I present to you the first 5 minutes of the Patreon-exclusive bonus episode on DINOSAURS!! Want to hear the rest of the episode? Join on Patreon at
May 06, 2020
S2: Chapter 7 - Genetic Drift
Genetic drift aka NOT selection.  ALSO: a special announcement about our new Patreon page at Don't forget to check out for more info
May 04, 2020
Introducing - Biology for Bastards Patreon!
We're launching a Biology for Bastards Patreon page to try to make the show bigger and better!  Considering becoming a patron at
May 01, 2020
S2: Chapter 6 - Phenotypic Evolution
Ever wonder how Natural selection makes phenotypes evolve? Look no further than this episode!
April 27, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 56 - Conservation Biology and Global Change
Humans suck. That's it, that's the description
April 23, 2020
S2: Chapter 5 - The Genetical Theory of Natural Selection
How does natural selection affect the genetics of a population? Listen to find out!  Find detailed show notes at 
April 20, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 55 - Ecosystems
Tying together all the ecology to this point, this episode we discuss ecosystems
April 16, 2020
S2: Chapter 4 - Mutation and Variation
How the F*** does all the variation in the world come about?  For detailed show notes (PowerPoints), visit
April 13, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 54 - Community Ecology
What's bigger than a population but not quite an ecosystem? That's right, a community
April 09, 2020
S2: Chapter 3 - Natural Selection and Adaptation
Another introductory chapter, this one all about what the f*** natural selection actually is
April 06, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 53 - Population Ecology
The ecology of populations, what more do you want?
April 02, 2020
S2: Chapter 2 - The Tree of Life
The Tree of Motha' Fuckin' Life! How everything is connected and how we show that shit!
March 30, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 52 - Introduction to Ecology
Jumping ahead, we start going over the super straightforward s*** that is ecology
March 26, 2020
S2: Chapter 1 - Evolutionary Biology
The first episode of season 2!!! Basic introduction to evolutionary biology. For detailed notes, visit
March 23, 2020
Bonus: Coronavirus and COVID-19
All about the global pandemic that is COVID-19 A special thank you to my research assistant Keeley for conducting research for this episode.  Source list: University of Michigan, Center for Disease Control and Prevention, World Health Organization, John Hopkins Medicine, Reuters,
March 19, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 26 - Phylogeny and the Tree of Life
All about classification and "the tree of motha f***in life!"
March 19, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 25 - The History of Life on Earth
Reviewing Life in all its various aspects that have existed over 4 billion years
March 12, 2020
Bonus: The Silver Screen Podcast - Contagion
A very special crossover episode where I go on my friends' show (The Silver Screen Podcast) and we review the movie Contagion and discuss all things coronavirus.
March 07, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 24 - The Origin of Species
Throwback to talking about speciation, not the 1859 book
March 05, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 23 - The Evolution of Populations
Another long one that happens to be one of my favorites
February 27, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 22 - Descent with Modification
A replay of one of the longest episodes of the season where I get to finally rant about evolution
February 20, 2020
BONUS: Episode 1 of The Origin of Species for Bastards
A sneak peak of my new show "The Origin of Species for Bastards" 
February 13, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 21 - Genomes and Their Evolution
Throwback to another short episode all about genomes 
February 13, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 20 - Biotechnology
Do you remember this one? I don't... perhaps its good we're going back to it then.
February 06, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 19 - Viruses
This week's review is all about the scary shits known as Viruses
January 30, 2020
BONUS: Chapter 40 - Animal Form and Function
A very special BY REQUEST episode for a listener in Ohio. Hopefully this  helps
January 29, 2020
Chapter 56 - Conservation Biology and Global Change
We talk about how humans are ruining everything and really finish season 1 on a happy note
January 27, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 18 - The Regulation of Gene Expression
I don't even remember recording this original episode but let's review how we regulate genes, shall we?
January 23, 2020
Chapter 55 - Ecosystems
In our penultimate episode of Season 1, we talk the (sarcasm/) SUPER complex (/sarcasm) ideas of energy flow and chemical cycling within ecosystems
January 20, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 17 - From Gene To Protein
Transcription! Translation! Mutations! Review!
January 16, 2020
Chapter 54 - Community Ecology
This week is all about interactions happening at the community level, as the name implies
January 13, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 16 - Molecular Basis of Inheritance
Reviewing everything DNA-related For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
January 09, 2020
Chapter 53 - Population Ecology
Population growth, survivorship curves, and a rant about life expectancy  Detailed notes (PowerPoints) available at
January 06, 2020
Remediation: Chapter 15 - Chromosomal Basis of Inheritance
Today we get to review Non-Mendelian genetics For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
January 02, 2020
Chapter 52 - An Introduction to Ecology
What else is there to say? Its an introduction to interactions... For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 30, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 14 - Mendel and the Gene
Relearning about everyone's favorite Austrian Monk, Gregor Mendel For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 26, 2019
Chapter 26 - Phylogeny and the Tree of Life
A short one about all the categories we put life into.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 23, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 13 - Meiosis
This week we review everyone's favorite part of sex: Meiosis For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 19, 2019
Chapter 25 - The History of Life on Earth
3.8 billion years covered in just about 20 minutes. Because I'm awesome like that For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 16, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 12 - The Cell Cycle
Reviewing the cell cycle, interphase, mitosis, all that fun shit For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 12, 2019
Chapter 24 - The Origin of Species
Not THAT The Origin of Species but the other one, the one that includes Ps not fitting into Vs. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 09, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 11 - Cell Communication
This episode on cell communication is still the most chaotic one to date. But have fun listening through it again For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 05, 2019
Chapter 23 - The Evolution of Populations
More evolution!! This time, we're talking about microevolution and changes in populations. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
December 02, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 10 - Photosynthesis
Plants are either witches or unicorns for being able to photosynthesize. You be the judge For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 28, 2019
Chapter 22 - Descent with Modification
FINALLY we get to evolution, aka the best shit ever! All about the people who led up to Darwin and then some basic evidence supporting evolution For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 25, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 9 - Respiration
Forget how alcohol is born? This week we go back and learn all about energy processing For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 21, 2019
Chapter 21 - Genomes and Their Evolution
Super short episode about how genomes evolve. Obviously.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 18, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 8 An Introduction to Metabolism
Reviewing energy and enzymes this week, everybody's favorite shit. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 14, 2019
Chapter 20 - Biotechnology
Another quick one this week as we discuss various ways biotechnology benefits our lives For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 11, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 7 - Cell Membranes
Throwback to when we talked about how cell membranes work For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 07, 2019
Chapter 19 - Viruses
Our shortest actual episode is also about the smallest shit we've talked about: Viruses For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
November 04, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 6 - A Tour of the Cell
Reviewing ALL the cell parts and everything they do For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 31, 2019
Chapter 18 - Regulation of Gene Expression
How the fuck do you control all those damn genes?  With very special guests: my dogs, barking constantly throughout the episode For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 28, 2019
Remediation: Chapter 5 - The Biology of Large Molecules
We go back and re-listen to episode 5 all about macromolecules For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 24, 2019
Chapter 17 - From Gene To Protein
Mother F****** transcription and translation! MUTATIONS!!!!!  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 21, 2019
Remediation - Chapter 4: Carbon
This week, we review carbon and all its magic For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 17, 2019
Chapter 16 - Molecular Basis of Inheritance
DNA! DNA! DEAD MICE! DNA!  Also, other shit, like replication. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 14, 2019
Remediation - Chapter 3: Water
For this week's remediation, we go back and learn about all the wonderful witchcraft of water For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 10, 2019
Chapter 15 - Chromosomal Basis of Inheritance
Flies and mutations and sex-linked genes, oh my! Different ways things get inherited that AREN'T like Mendel said For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 07, 2019
Remediation - Chapter 2
Throwback to Chapter 2 where we talk about chemistry! For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
October 03, 2019
BONUS: About The Host!
In honor of International Podcast Day, an episode all about your host! Ever wonder how you become a teacher who ends up hosting a swear word-filled podcast? Give it a listen and find out!
September 30, 2019
Chapter 14 - Mendel and the Gene
FINALLY time to start talking interesting stuff. This week is everyone's second favorite Austrian and his ideas. Also, coffee.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 30, 2019
Remediation - Chapter 1
Replay of Chapter 1: An Introduction to Biology For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 26, 2019
Chapter 13 - Meiosis
Lets (kind of) talk about sex! Meiosis: Its like Mitosis's slutty cousin. Also, the host was drinking when he made this episode so it may be extra fun but the science is still good.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 23, 2019
Chapter 12 - The Cell Cycle
What did one cell say to the other when it the first cell stepped on the second one's foot? MY TOE SIS!!!! ....We're talking cell cycle and mitosis this week.... For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 16, 2019
Chapter 11- Cell Communication
WARNING: This episode is a mess, but we're going with it All about how cells communicate, which is a hard thing to communicate via the podcast medium. Good God this episode is not the best. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 11, 2019
Bonus: ALIENS! aka The Drake Equation
Are you going to raid Area 51?  Do you like aliens? Then this special bonus episode is for you!
September 09, 2019
Chapter 10 - Photosynthesis
The witchcraft that plants do where they eat rainbows and poop candy...aka photosynthesis For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
September 03, 2019
Chapter 9 - Respiration
Whoa buddy, getting energy and shit from food in the presence of oxygen. Also, alcohol.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
August 26, 2019
Chapter 8: An Introduction to Metabolism
All about energy and enzymes and shit.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
August 19, 2019
Chapter 7: Cell Membranes
All about cell membranes and how they keep the good shit in and the bad shit out.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
August 12, 2019
BONUS: Opossums!
For reaching 200 downloads, a bonus episode all about the best fucking marsupial there is, the Virginia Opossum
August 08, 2019
Chapter 6: A Tour of the Cell
August 05, 2019
Chapter 5: The Biology of Large Molecules
This week we discuss carbs, lipids, proteins, and nucleic acids, along with how to form polymers For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
July 29, 2019
Chapter 4 - Carbon
The awesomeness of carbon - bonds, isomers, and functional groups For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
July 22, 2019
Chapter 3 - Water
All about water and magic powers it has over life For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
July 22, 2019
Chapter 2 - The Chemical Context of Life
Chemistry - Atoms, elements, compounds, bonds, all that fun shit.  For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
July 19, 2019
Chapter 1 - Introduction to Biology
Covers everything from characteristics of life, what is science, and why the scientific method is a joke. For detailed notes (PowerPoints) visit
July 16, 2019
Coming Soon - Biology For Bastards
Coming Soon Biology for Bastards is a podcast based on the not-yet famous blog by the same name that teaches biological concepts using all the words you're not allowed to use in school. Hosted by a real biology teacher, Biology for Bastards is sure to be a hit for anyone who enjoys science or for anyone who blew off studying for a exam and needs to learn a topic in a short amount of time. 
July 11, 2019