Bitching about Medieval Literature

To wrap up the podcast, this episode celebrates the wonderful work of translators, in particular, the wonderful work of Maria Devana Headley in 'Beowulf: A New Translation'. With a mixture of poetry extracts and prose summaries, we tell the story of Beowulf, AND nerd out about translation, all in under an hour.

WARNINGS: Some gore in the various monster fights

The final episode of the Mabinogion has everything: curses, magical disguises, trickery, women made out of flowers, secret love affairs, betrayal, poetry, hero children, shoemaking, riddles, gory revenge, and of course, misogyny. Join us, for the second last time, as we wrap up the Fourth Branch.

WARNINGS: A woman is publically asked to undergo a magical virginity check, which reveals she is not a virgin by causing her to instantly 'drop' a healthy baby and a 'small something'. 

This week, we have the first half of the Fourth Branch of the Mabinogi, in which we meet the ruling family of Gwynedd, in the north. One of the king's nephews is wasting away for love of the king's footholder (no, literally, that's her job), so the king's OTHER nephew starts a war to get the king out of town. When the king comes back and uncovers the whole story, he demonstrates why you shouldn't piss off magic users and assault their household.

WARNINGS: Rape. The plot of this episode revolves around making it possible for one character to rape the woman he has been lusting over. This is directly discussed in timestamp 11:25-11:54 and timestamp 16:29-17:18. There is a fairly fucked up punishment for the two brothers involved in plotting the assault: they are transformed into a series of animals and enchanted so that they breed with each other for three years in a row.

Pryderi and his wife are hanging out with Rhiannon and her second husband, Manawydan, when suddenly all the people, domesticated animals, and signs of civilisation disappear from Dyfed. They proceed to do not very much about it for several years, until Manawydan gets cranky about his wheat disappearing and decides to take revenge on a mouse.

WARNING: Animal cruelty. Protagonist intends to (but does not actually) hang a mouse. Like, from a mini-gallows.

In this story, the king of Ireland comes to visit the king of Britain to ask for his sister's hand in marriage. This would have been fine, except the king's half-brother Efnysien exists. There's no happy ending for this one - by the end of the story, almost all of the named characters are dead.

WARNINGS. Animal cruelty: A character maims a large number of horses - I give verbal warning before this happens. Horrifying execution methods: in a story told by Matholowch, a group of people are trapped in an iron house which is heated up around them - only two escape. Domestic-ish violence: a king decides to punish his wife for the past actions of her family by making her work in the kitchens and get hit by a butcher every day. Graphically described gore: A character kills a bunch of hidden enemies by crushing their skulls with his bare hands - I give verbal warning before this happens. Murder of a child: A character throws his young nephew into a fire, shocking and distressing literally everyone - I give verbal warning before this happens.

We return to the adventures of Pwyll and Rhiannon: how their firstborn child mysteriously disappeared, Rhiannon got framed for it, and a random nobleman eventually worked out that his mysterious foundling might be Pwyll's kid.

WARNINGS. Animal cruelty, gaslighting, innocent people getting punished, weird punishments: When the baby goes missing, the women who were supposed to be watching him and Rhiannon decide to kill a puppy and make it look like Rhiannon ate the baby. They insist to Rhiannon that she DID kill the child, and frame her for the crime. Rhiannon is punished by being made to tell the story to strangers over and over again, and carry them on her back.

The prince of Dyfed pisses off the king of the otherworld and swaps places with him to earn his forgiveness. It also teaches him a few lessons about kingship. Later, he decides to go to a place where mysterious things happen, a mysterious woman shows up, and he manages to almost completely ruin things before she salvages the situation on his behalf.

WARNINGS: Risk of sex by deception. A character in disguise does NOT sleep with the wife of the guy he's impersonating, which surprises both the guy and his wife when they find out about it. Violence.  A guy is trapped in a bag and a whole lot of people come by and kick the bag around.

In which a dude called Rhonabwy has a weird dream.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Unhygenic environment: the protagonist takes shelter in a hut where the floor is covered in cow droppings and urine, which is described in more detail than necessary. Gore/Violence: a battle between people and ravens where both are described getting injured, dismembered, killed in a fair amount of detail.

In the final part of Geraint's adventures, he defeats a few more people, nearly gets killed by some giants, and then realises he's been an ass when he hears Elen's distress at his injury. He doesn't apologise, though.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore, in the various combat scenes. Also, when Elen thinks Geraint is almost dead, a dude gets frustrated and hits her. Geraint is generally not much of a shit to Elen in this episode, but he also doesn't apologise.

Geraint's dad calls him home to take over his kingdom, and after a few years of glorious tournaments, Geraint runs out of people to fight and slips into a life of decadent idleness. When Enid mourns this change in him, Geraint completely misinterprets her, decides she's cheating on him, and starts a new quest out of spite. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: Controlling relationship. Geraint decides (without evidence) that Enid is unfaithful, makes her go on a quest with him into the wilderness with basically no supplies, orders her to be silent, berates her when she isn't, puts her in dangerous situations, repeatedly threatens her in a way she takes seriously. Threats of sexual assault. Various people they encounter on Geraint's quest plan to kill Geraint and take Enid for themselves, and Enid overhears these plans each time. When she refuses an earl's proposition, he threatens to kill her husband, take her, and then throw her aside whenever he loses interest.

In this episode, we begin the story of Geraint, who sleeps in on the morning of a hunt, and thus happens to be with Gwenhwyfar when she is seriously insulted by the attendant of a strange knight. He goes on a quest to confront the knight and avenge the insult...as soon he can borrow some armour. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: A character (who is unpleasant and rude) is described only as 'the dwarf' and is otherwise unnamed. Violence & Gore. Two characters approach a stranger to ask a question, and each are struck in the face with a whip. Later, in a tournament, the protagonist hits his opponent so hard in the head he hits bone, which is graphically described. Later, when that character arrives at a castle, someone observes that his clothing is more blood-coloured than anything else. 

And now, for the second half of our live session! In our first story, from Sermones Feriales et Communes (a collection of fables from the sermons of a 12th century Frenchman), a monkey demonstrates its powers of discernment. In the second, from Il Trecentonovelle (14th century Italian), a disgruntled painter's apprentice tricks his master into thinking he is beset by demons in order to get a good night's sleep. In the third, also from Il Trecentonovelle, a painter makes a visual pun to mock a client who thinks too much of himself. In the fourth, from Gesta Romanorum (a pre-14th century collection that was popular in many regions), an old woman comes to the aid of an unsuccessful lover with the use of an extraordinary story. In the fifth, from Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles (a 15th century French collection), an eager lover is unable to rise to the occasion, and is mocked by narrator and lover in a series of extraordinary euphemisms. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: Language, throughout. Dirty jokes, throughout. Animal cruelty. In the second story, sticking small pins into live cockroaches (who appear not to have noticed). In the fourth story, feeding a dog bread made with mustard so it cries. In the fifth story, pulling on a dog's ears to make it yelp.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a bonus LIVE episode, recorded with a group of friends to celebrate the anniversary of the podcast. Today's stories are from "Medieval Tales and Stories" a collection edited and translated by Stanley Appelbaum. The first, from the 14th century Italian collection Il Trecentonovelle, features a man whose glorious dreams were followed the next morning by an odiferous reality. The second, from Disciplina Clericalis, an 11th century Spanish collection of stories from Arabic sources, has a clever peasant out-tricking his travelling companions. In the third, from a 14th century Spanish collection named El Conde Lucanor, demonstrates the folly of listening to everyone's advice without judging for yourself.

Many thanks to my live audience and co-complainers, Amanda Martel, Elena Vesare, Jadwiga z Katowic, Isabel Claworth, Aymer de Manvers, Felicia ad Aquam, Daniel de la Guerre, and Olivia. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: A lot of rude language here, folks, and some dirty jokes among the banter.

In this, the final part of the tale of Peredur, a strange woman comes to Arthur's court, insults Peredur, and sends him on a quest. In the process, a lot of things happen that are left completely unexplained, but it seems to end well?

CONTENT WARNINGS: The story begins with description of a woman of monstrous appearance, which dwells on her having black skin, being fat, and having various physical differences (e.g. 'back like a crutch'). Her appearance is never mentioned again, and she's not an evil character. 

Gore. Near the end of the story, there is a big fight in which a character is graphically cut in two. 

In this episode, Peredur finally gets his vengeance on Cai, joins Arthur's court, and immediately disappears on another quest. As usual, he defeats hundreds of knights (as well as two different monstrous serpents), assists many ladies, and rights many wrongs.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In Peredur's fight with Cai, Cai is thrown from his horse and breaks his arm and collarbone. (He's fine.)

This episode, we begin another tale of an Arthurian knight - although this episode precedes his knighthood. Peredur, son of Efrog, is raised without knowledge of war or fighting, decides to become a knight, and proceeds to defeat absolutely everyone he encounters.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore. In several fights, injuries are graphically described. Two characters are consistently referred to as 'the dwarf and she-dwarf', and there is implication they 'belonged' in some way to the protagonists father. 

After three years happily married to the Lady of the Well, Owain is sought out by the knights of King Arthur, almost all of whom he defeats handily. Then, after another three year interlude, he descends into wildness, and gradually redeems himself through a series of vaguely connected adventures in which his ego trips him up, and an inexplicably devoted lion makes sure he survives.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore. In various combat scenes there are vivid descriptions of serious injuries, including head wounds and disembowelment. Violence against women. One woman is imprisoned and scheduled to be burned when Owain unhurriedly rescues her. Another is protected from being taken by a giant, who is suspected of intending to assault her.

Today, we begin a new story, featuring Owain, one of King Arthur's knights. After a friend tells Owain how he went looking for an ass-kicking and got his ass kicked, Owain decides to try it for himself. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore. When Owain summons the knight of the well and fights him, he gets him in the head with a sword, and it is described in great detail. Shortly after, he pursues the knight on horseback to a castle, and the portcullis coming down cuts Owain's horse in half. 

In this episode, the members of Arthur's court continue to work on the impossible tasks set by Ysbaddaden Bencawr as a condition of Culhwch's marriage to Olwen - most notably, the hunt for the great boar Twrch Trwyth, which takes them all over the British Isles and involves an enormous number of previously unmentioned characters, most of whom die immediately. (After the end of the episode proper, there is a bonus fifteen minutes of me reciting a list of names that I courteously excised from the middle of part 1.)

CONTENT WARNINGS: Various mentions of fairly gruesome encounters - people being chopped in half, etc. These are usually brief, but occur without warning.

Ysbaddaden Bencawr gives our hero Culhwch a list of forty impossible (or highly improbable) tasks he must complete before he will be allowed to marry Olwen. This takes the first fifteen minutes of the episode. After that, Culhwch's companions slay a giant to steal his sword, and get advice from a series of ancient animals to solve a missing persons case. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: A sub character was kidnapped as a newborn and is found by the protagonists, having been imprisoned his whole life.

This episode is the first of three parts telling the story of Culhwch, King Arthur's nephew, who is cursed to marry no-one other than Olwen, daughter of the great and terrible giant Ysbaddaden Bencawr. In this part, we hear Culhwch's backstory, his request for assistance from King Arthur, and meet various characters with weird superpowers that are never explained or returned to.

WARNINGS: A lot of weird shit happens in this story. Culhwch's mother goes mad for the duration of the pregnancy, his stepmother is violently abducted and her previous husband killed, Culhwch threatens to shout so loud all the women in Arthur's court go barren or miscarry, the protagonists meet a woman who has had twenty-two sons killed by her brother in law, and the protagonists kill nine dogs that guard the gates of the evil guy's castle. All of these things are mentioned in like, half a sentence, and the story moves on without comment.

In today's story, Britain is afflicted with three plagues: an invasion by enemies who can hear whatever is spoken where the wind blows; a horrible scream every year that damages everyone's health; and the mysterious disappearance each night of all prepared food and drink in the king's court. The king, Lludd, consults his brother Llefelys, and with his advice, is able to remove these three oppressions from his kingdom.

WARNINGS: The injuries caused by the horrible scream include spontaneous miscarriages.

Welcome to Bitching about the Mabinogion! This season, we will be reading a set of approximately 12th to 14th century Welsh stories, with much more of a fairy tale vibe than the Decameron. In today's episode, we hear about an emperor of Rome, Macsen Wledig, who was inspired by a dream to seek out and marry Elen, a noble lady of northern Wales.

CONTENT WARNING: Brief mention of genocide/mutilation. Near the end of the episode, two characters are taking a conquering army all over Europe. It is briefly explained (with very little build up) that wherever they went, they killed the men, abducted the women, and later cut out the tongues of the women to prevent them passing on their own language. This is told very matter-of-factly and briefly, but with no criticism, simply as an explanation for a place name.

This is the longest and last episode of Bitching About The Decameron - but fear not! There will be a second season, with new stories to tell. This episode begins with some information about what's coming next, then has the last (and most fucked up) story of the Decameron (10.10), before concluding with the end of the frame tale and Giovanni's commentary on how anyone who doesn't like his work is welcome to skip it. If you do not want to listen to story 10.10 (and I don't blame you), I recommend skipping from 6:40 to 31:45. 

WARNINGS: (specifically for story 10.10, the rest of the episode is fine) Abusive relationship. Very abusive relationship. Just. A lot. Not physically? But verbal abuse, public humiliation, pretending to have her children killed, publically and humiliatingly divorcing her, forcing her to go naked or nearly naked in public, making her run the 'wedding' to his 'second wife'. Appearance of intent to marry a 12 year old, which, ew. Responsible character is widely considered to be a horrible husband, but no one stops him, and he feels justified in doing all this shit to 'test' his wife. No negative consequences for the guy, and she goes back to him at the end after not complaining ever for the entire story. 

In this, the penultimate episode of Bitching About the Decameron, I summarise all of the stories I skipped, and why I skipped them, and discuss what that means for how we approach the text.

WARNINGS: Mentions of domestic violence, violence against children, cruelty to animals, violence and physical assault in general, various kinds of non-violent rape (through deception, exploitation of power, etc), exploitation of trust, mention of slurs about the intellectually disabled. All of the above are mentioned, not described in detail. 

Today's story (10.9) is a lovely (if long) tale of chivalrous munificence, in which Saladin tours Europe disguised as a merchant, and encounters an incredibly generous and courteous knight. Later, when the same knight is captured in the crusades, Saladin recognises him and repays his generosity several times over. The lines between knightly brotherhood and courtly love are...a little blurred.

After skipping 10.6, this episode continues with two more stories on the theme of generosity. In 10.7, an apothecary's daughter falls in love with a king, and though she has no hope of requital, the king treats her kindly and honourably. In 10.8, set in the distant past of ancient Rome and Athens, a man falls in love with his best friend's betrothed, and the friend decides to help him marry her instead (not that they tell her about that). Much later, the strength of their friendship is once again tested, and the pair form a joint household.

WARNINGS: In the second story, sex (and thereby, legal marriage) with a woman who thinks she's sleeping with someone else. Also, the usual issues with the legal system - mention of torture for interrogation, risk of an innocent man being convicted and executed by crucifixion.

In this episode, two men decide not to demand sex from women they have power over, and are inexplicably praised for it. I get VERY bitchy about all this. In 10.4, a man goes to steal a kiss from the corpse of a woman who didn't requite his love, and discovers she is alive. In 10.5, a woman says she will sleep with a man if he does something impossible for her, and he actually manages it. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: Fortunately, not actual rape. However...

In 10.4, intended kissing and groping of a corpse. Keeping a woman away from her family and letting her family think she's dead, for months. Implied threat to not let her go back to her husband, once her husband DOES know.

In 10.5, a man completes the impossible task the protagonist set as a condition before she would have sex with him. He was aware this was meant to be a soft no. When the woman tells her husband, he instructs her to go and sleep with the guy. She goes to his house expecting that he will, and clearly unwilling.

In the first story (10.2), a genteel highwayman captures an abbot, cures him of his illness, and lets him have his goods back when it's time to leave. In return, the abbot leaves the highwayman most of his goods, and puts in a good word for him with the pope. In the second story (10.3), a man seeking a reputation for generosity is stymied by the even more generous Nathan. When he goes to meet Nathan, he discovers that his generosity is even greater than the man's reputation suggested.

This episode sets a new record for stories NOT told. Skipping stories 9.5 (abuse of trust), 9.7 (gore), 9.8 (violence without cause), 9.9 (domestic violence), and 9.10 (too explicit), I tell only story 9.6 before moving on to day 10. In 9.6, four people in one tiny bedroom give a new meaning to bed-hopping. In 10.1, a worthy nobleman is offered a generous gift, only to be thwarted by his own bad luck. 

Day nine, without any specific theme, begins with a story (9.1) about a lady who saw off two unwanted lovers by giving them some highly unpalatable tasks. After skipping 9.2, we resume with a tale (9.3) of a nun who was caught with a lover, then got out of trouble by providing evidence that the abbess had a lover of her own. Finally, in story 9.4, we hear of a man who gambled away his friend's money, then managed to get hold of his clothes and horse as well.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, two men continue to pester a woman verbally and in writing after she's made it clear she doesn't want their attention. Also graverobbing. In the third story, betrayal of a friend, minimisation of his distress, use of false testimony to get him forcefully unhorsed and robbed.

For the last story of day eight (8.10), Dioneo tells us about an unscrupulous lady who made her living by seducing merchants and tricking them out of their goods, a merchant she swindled, and the way the merchant swindled her back.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of slavery in the period

Today's episode has one short story (8.8) and one long one (8.9). In the first, a man discovers his wife has been cheating on him with his best friend. So he decides to take some extremely proportionate revenge. In the second, Bruno and Buffalmaco (two tricksters we've met before), fool a stupid doctor into applying to join a highly implausible fraternity, then dump him in a ditch full of manure on his way there.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, the protagonist walks in on his wife cheating on him. He threatens her so that she assists him in taking his revenge. He persuades his friend's wife to have sex with him by threatening her husband and herself, and has sex with her where her husband is listening, without her knowing he's there. Everyone ends the story happy with each other.

In the second story, an abundance of toilet humour throughout. General manipulation and deceit.

Today's episode is all about tricks and deception, justified or otherwise. In our first story (8.4), the protagonist tricks a priest who just won't take no for answer into sleeping with her maid, and getting caught doing it. In the second (8.5), an ill-dressed judge gets his breeches pulled down in the middle of court. In the third (8.6), a man's 'friends' decide to steal a pig from him, frame him for the theft, and extort some chickens from him into the bargain.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, sexual harrassment, sex by deception, semi-public exposure of sexual behaviour. A priest repeatedly tries to get the protagonist to have sex with him, harrassing her verbally and in writing. (It is implied he has done this to other women in the past.) The protagonist tricks the priest into sleeping with her maid instead of her. The protagonist's brothers then show the priest and maid in bed together to the priest's boss, and several others.

In the second story, a man has his underpants pulled down in a public place. It isn't clear whether his genitals are exposed, or whether his other clothes are long enough to cover him. 

In the third story, betrayal, theft, public humiliation, and exploitation of trust. The proagonists 'friends' steal his pig, pretend that they think HE did it and is lying, use his own money to arrange a public gathering that appears to implicate him in the theft, and then extort some chickens out of him by threatening to tell his wife he gave the pig to a lover.

Our episode begins with skipping stories 7.8 and 7.9, for violence against women and against animals, respectively. Instead, we conclude day seven with Dioneo's tale (7.10) of a man returning from the dead to reassure his friend about the sins that are and are not punished in Purgatory. This is followed by two stories (8.1, 8.2) about men who found ways to retrieve the payment they had offered to women in exchange for their attentions. 

CONTENT WARNING: Prejudice against sex work. A repeated theme in the discussion around the second and third stories is that adultery for love is acceptable, while adultery for money should be punished by death. (In the stories, the characters face no real consequences.) Consent issues in the second and third stories: the women agree to have sex on the condition of receiving a payment, which the men trick them out of afterwards.

In story 7.5, a highly controlling jealous husband decides to pretend to be a priest so he can hear what his wife has to confess. She recognises him, and tricks him into lying in wait near the door while her lover comes in by the roof. In our second tale (7.7, after skipping 7.6), a nobleman-turned-servant arranges an assignation with his master's wife, only for her to wake her husband up when he gets to the bedroom. In the end, though, she and her lover enjoy themselves thoroughly, and her husband gets the worst of it.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, a highly controlling husband doesn't let his wife leave the house, or even stand at the window. This is socially normed in the cultural context - extreme, but not considered abusive. He pretends to be a priest to listen to her confession, and later, threatens to kill her unless she explains the affair he THINKS she's been having. 

In the second story, a character is tricked into dressing up as his wife and waiting to meet her lover. Meanwhile, the wife arranges with her lover that he should go down and attack 'her' (i.e. her husband), yelling at 'her' for her willingness to cheat and beating 'her' up with a stick.

The second day continues with three stories about wives who get away with their lies and their lovers. In the first (7.2), a lover's presence is explained as a potential purchaser of a tub. In the second (7.3), the wife explains her lover's presence as him curing her child of a deadly illness. And in the third (7.4), a husband's plan to catch his wife out is turned on its head, and he gets caught out instead.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In general, deceit and infidelity (obviously). In the second story, a toddler is in the same room as adults having sex (no interaction during). Also, a character is told that his child nearly died (as an excuse for his wife's lover to be present). In the third story, a wife encourages her husband to develop a habit of getting so drunk he passes out, so that she can cheat. When she is discovered and he locks her out, she threatens suicide, then makes him think she has done it. She then loudly accuses her husband of being a slanderous drunkard by lying about his behaviour, which induces her relatives to beat him up.

It's the start of the seventh day, and Dioneo is in charge, with the theme: 'women playing tricks on their husbands. After the group has decamped to the unrealistically picturesque Valley of the Ladies, the stories begin with a tale (7.1) of a woman who warns her lover that her husband is at home with an informative 'exorcism' of the 'werewolf' she assures her husband has been tapping at the door.

This episode covers the rest of the sixth day, beginning with a story (6.6) joking about the ancient origins of a family known for their ugliness; then the ingenious legal defence of an adulterous woman (6.7); a quick tale (6.8) about a haughty young woman who didn't recognise an insult; and another (6.9) about a rather convoluted retort made by a scholarly young man to a group of foolish ones. Finally, Dioneo tells a story (6.10) about a particularly unscrupulous friar and the showmanship with which he persuaded a group of townsfolk that an ordinary lump of coal was a holy relic.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, jokes about a family known for their ugly appearances. In the second story, a law is changed to allow adulterous wives but continue to prosecute sex workers. In the last story, the protagonist's servant is a caricatured stock character mocked by his employer and the narration for being fat, stupid, and slovenly.

Day 6 begins with an argument between servants about whether or not a woman they know came to her wedding bed a virgin. After arbitration by the queen of the day (with advice from Dioneo), our storytellers share several brief tales about witty comebacks. In the first (6.1), a woman gently advises a very poor storyteller to stop trying; in the second (6.2), a baker with very fine wines censures a servant trying to fetch some in too large a keg; in the third (6.4 - having skipped 6.3), a hapless cook makes excuses for the roast crane he served having only one leg; and in the fourth (6.5), two friends caught in bad weather tease each other about their disreputable appearances.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Ableism/insulting descriptions of 'ugly' characters in the final story (one is specifically compared to a dwarf). They are both respected in their fields and treated well by the narrative, but the joke of the story is that their appearance makes it surprising that they are so skilled and knowledgeable.

This episode marks the halfway mark of the Decameron, with a story told by Dioneo (5.10) which starts with a gay man failing to sexually satisfy his wife, and ends with a threesome.

The story is followed by some reflection on the last six months of the podcast, and my thanks to Amanda Martel, my producer, and to all of you for listening.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Homophobic language: A gay man in this story is repeatedly described in the narration as 'perverse', 'unnatural', etc - however he is not punished by what happens in the story or persecuted in any way, and appears to live a pretty cheerful, content, and sexually fulfilled life. 

Violence: A character threatens/attempts murder of his wife's lover; in a similar situation, the lover expects violence but is not treated violently. 

Potentially coercive sexual situation: a character discovers his wife's lover and then 'arranges' matters so as to sleep with him. This is described as being to all their mutual satisfaction. 

Sexually explicit language: Even by our standards, this one leaves very little to the imagination.

Today's episode marks six months of the podcast, and thanks to a record number of skipped stories in a row, also brings us almost to the halfway point of the Decameron! In our first story (5.4), a young man manages to sneak into his beloved's house for some quality time...only to be caught by her parents in the morning. There follows a brief synopsis of the stories I am skipping (5.5-5.8), due to the violence and coercion of women they contain. Finally, we hear a tragic tale (5.9) of a man whose unrequited love led him into poverty, and then to destroy the very thing his lover was about to ask of him, in an effort to please her. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the synopsis section, mentions of kidnapping and other violence against women, unwanted pregnancy, the usual influence-driven medieval justice system, and coercive sexual situations. In the second story, a main character kills a beloved pet as a meal for the woman he loves, unknowing that she came to ask him for the bird as a pet.

Today's stories feature impulsive young lovers, separated by misfortune, and reunited by kindly strangers. In the first (5.2), a man rejected by his lover's family turns to piracy to make his fortune, only to be captured and imprisoned in Tunis. His lady, believing him to be dead, attempts suicide, but instead washes up on a foreign shore, and with the help of several people she meets there, is eventually reunited with him. In our second story (5.3), two young idiots elope, take a wrong turn, get lost in the woods, and are reunited at the house of a friend after a harrowing night.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, unsuccessful suicide attempt (by casting herself out to sea in a tiny boat). In the second story, male character is attacked by a group of soldiers, forced to strip, and is about to be hanged before the soldiers are interrupted. Later, implied fear of sexual assault of a female character by bandits; horse attacked and eaten (fairly graphically) by a pack of wolves. 

Day five begins, on the theme of love that ended happily. However, our tale today (5.1) can only be said to end happily for the men, as the women are treated by the characters and the narrative as if they have no opinions or preferences of their own. The protagonist is inspired by the sight of his love to a serious self-improvement project, then when he is unable to negotiate a betrothal, decides to kidnap her on the way to her husband. The first kidnap attempt is temporarily successful; the second, with the aid of another man in love, is more lastingly so.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In this story, the protagonist assumes that his love gives him a right to marry a woman, and never seeks her opinion on the matter. He observes her sleeping, walks her home despite protests, and later kidnaps, kisses, plans to sleep with, kidnaps again, and finally marries her. There is no indication of whether she agrees or objects to this, apart from her distress in the middle of being kidnapped (which may be attributable to violence).

Gore: mention of a guy getting his head chopped in half during the second kidnapping.

This episode brings our fourth day and its gloomy theme (love that ended unhappily) to a close, with a gory and miserable narrative by the monarch of the day (4.9), followed by Dioneo blithely ignoring the day's theme to tell a comic tale instead (4.10). In Philostrato's story, a cuckolded husband takes gruesome revenge on his wife and her lover. (Please feel free to skip ahead to the end of the story at 8:40, if you'd rather only hear the funny one). In Dioneo's tale, a doctor's wife brings her lover into the house, only for him to drink an anaesthetic by accident, setting off a series of misadventures that are all resolved happily by the end of the story.

CONTENT WARNINGS: In the first story, starting at 4:29, a man's heart is cut out, given to an unknowing cook to prepare (which is described in detail), and served to be eaten unknowingly by the man's lover. When this is revealed, she commits suicide. Skip ahead to 8:40 if you prefer to avoid this story.

The medieval justice system shows its usual failings in the second story: a confession extracted by torture (not described), and a judge extorting sexual favours from someone trying to help a prisoner (also not described).

In today's stories of unhappy love, we have two examples of visions in a dream. In the first (4.5) a woman's lover is murdered by her brothers, and he appears to her in a dream to help her find his body. In the second (4.6) a man dismisses the ominous dreams of himself and his wife (who he married secretly), then dies suddenly and leaves her with the challenge of explaining the whole thing.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Gore. In story one, after finding her lover's body, the protagonist cuts off his head and takes it home with her, where she treats it like a saint's relic. Corrupt justice system/sexual harrassment. In story two, a judge tries to convince the protagonist that he could protect her from suspicion in her husband's death if she sleeps with him. She refuses, and needs to physically back up that refusal before he gives up.

In today's episode, our storytellers continue to try to tell a story miserable enough for Filostrato, who has demanded tales of love that ended unhappily. After skipping story 4.2, 4.3 describes three pairs of teenagers who run away together, but whose happy ending turns to disaster after the eldest of the young men can't keep his eyes off the pretty locals. In story 4.4, two lovers learn of each other through rumour, fall in love based on reputation, and begin a relationship through letters. Before they can ever meet, the woman's marriage is arranged to another, and the man turns to piracy to rescue her - as is fitting for the theme of the day, she is killed during his 'rescue' attempt before they can ever speak to each other.

CONTENT WARNINGS for first story: Underage relationships - female characters are 14 and 15, age of male characters is unknown but presumed young. Descriptions of verbal abuse of unfaithful spouse. Murder of spouse as revenge for (unconfirmed) infidelity. Mentions of torture of suspected criminals as interrogation technique. Person with power of life and death over one character uses that to convince her underage sister to have sex with him. She is murdered by her husband because of this. 

CONTENT WARNINGS for second story: Female character is killed by her guards/escorts to prevent her from being kidnapped/rescued by her lover on her way to get married.

Day four begins with an authorial digression, in which Giovanni explains and disputes the criticism he has been receiving. From there, we launch into our first story of unhappy love (4.1): a true tragedy in which a woman's lover is murdered by her father and she kills herself in response.

CONTENT WARNING: Obviously, strong warning for suicide. It's fairly specifically described in the text, but I do give a verbal warning and summary before the grisly bits, and there's nothing important you'll miss by skipping the rest of the episode after that. Also gore: the father has the dead lover's heart presented to the protagonist and the text is NOT shy about it. This is also after my verbal warning and summary. 

Skipping stories 3.8 and 3.10, in this episode we bring the third day to its conclusion with a tale (3.9) about a clever and determined woman, who neatly outmaneuvers her husband so that he is forced to acknowledge her worth and give her the respect she is due.

CONTENT WARNING: Sex by deceit. The protagonist disguises herself as someone else to trick her husband into consummating their marriage.