The Black Bra Podcast

Entitlement has been a word that has come up a lot of times throughout this podcast, so we decided to dedicate an episode to discuss it. So many people are entitled in this world; children entitled to their parents time, money and life (or vice versa), siblings, family member and friends being entitled to each other's time, space, money and decision making or friends and strangers being entitled to another individual's life. 

In other news, this will be our last episode for a while. We will be going on a hiatus but will be back soon. If you miss us too much, listen to an old episode 🙂. Thank you so much for sticking with us for 102 episodes so far!!!!

How do you cope with marrying a man with multiple baby mamas? How do you manage the relationship with the mother of his other kids? What kinds of boundaries are required with the mothers without impacting the relationship between the father and his kids?

It's the 100th Episode!!!!!!! Thank you to all our avid listeners who have been with us since the very beginning. It has been an amazing journey so far and it is so exciting to see that we have reached the 100 episode mark already. 

On our Big Brother Naija update this week, smelly lady parts and gossips are discussed. Meanwhile Timini Egbuson was trending again recently and being dragged by an ex. 

A new King has been crowned in Warri. 

Ghanaians abroad ask their president to fix things so they can return home. 

It's raining broken relationships and marriages...what is going on?

Afghanistan has been on fire since the US and UK exited after 20years. The Taliban took over and the president fled in less than a week. Why has this caused such an issue?

Can Kayanmata be equated to using a date rape drug on someone?

The question is simple - Should Christians pray "die by fire" prayers against their enemies? Or should they take the high road and forgive even when they have legitimate grievances?

We also tackle yet another way the Nigerian government wants to frustrate Tech businesses. 

Who sets the body count standard for both genders? Why is the body count conversation so important? 

Inspired by one of the many big brother naija fights last week, we discuss slut-shaming. What really is considered slut-shaming?

Lastly, please and please, do not carry packages for people when you are travelling except you have thoroughly inspected the package. 

What is the role of a 'friends with benefits' and what are the standard rules guiding this relationship?

It is a religious episode ladies (and gentlemen). We talk about how the northern morality police (Hisbah) turns a blind eye to "sins" of the rich but harass the poor when they commit the same "sins". Then we move on to whether or not religious rules and doctrines should evolve as the world does....which then leads us to discover that "thou shall not fornicate" is not part of the 10 Commandments. Does that give you a pass even though the Bible says your body is His temple?

Nigerian Police Officer, DCP Abba Kyari became extremely famous recently for all the wrong reasons. His name has been linked to big time fraudster, Hushpuppi, who is currently undergoing trial in the US. According to FBI, Hushpuppi allegedly paid DCP Abba Kyari N8m to detain fellow fraudster, Chibuzo. Abba Kyari, has come out to say that the only conversation he has had with Hushpuppi is about his tailor. 

The Central Bank of Nigeria has ban the sale of foreign currencies to Bureau de Change operators. What was the point of the ban? How does this not make life more difficult for Nigerians? We discuss!

What will you do if your husband keeps declining every work or business proposal you bring to him? He takes care of you and gives you more than enough money, but you do not want to be a housewife anymore. All you want to do is work or invest the money you have saved over the years but he doesn't want you to do that. 

The girls are split 2 vs. 1 on this debate. Should pastors have performance targets to meet? Would your answer change if the performance target was about winning more souls for God vs. making more money for the church? 

The Netflix series, Sex Life has been ringing a bell in our ear for a while now so we decided to watch it and give our take on the many lessons that can actually be learnt from the show.

Oba, Anambra State was put on the map last weekend as money flowed without reservation. We discuss what went down in Oba last weekend!

What is the point of the Nigerian NYSC scheme when it is apparently not required for a ministerial position as per the Nigerian constitution? 

The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) scheme is a compulsory requirement for every Nigerian that graduates from university. It is basically a requirement for employment. A while ago, the former Finance Minister appointed by President Buhari had too step down because of a lack of an authentic NYSC certificate. She took it to court and recently won the case. The court stated that a Minister of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is not required to do NYSC to be appointed. Does this make sense at all?

The case of molestation of a 14 year old girl by an actor in the Yoruba movie industry...drags on. This week, a colleague of the alleged molester makes a movie about the real life case and even uses real names. The movie seems more like a mockery of the situation. His colleagues call him out, the governing body summons him.....why are we still dragging this issue without severe consequences being dished out? How do we dismantle rape culture in Nigeria?

Another shocker! How does a sitting president get assassinated in his own home? That is what recently happened in Haiti.

On this episode, we question parenting skills. We raise this question because it is hard to wrap our head around how a 21 year old lady stabbed her supposed sugar daddy multiple times. Secondly, we see Mbong and Jeta Amata's daughter crying for help on social media, asking us to help her find her mum. Lastly, why will a broke jobless lady date a broke jobless man and reproduce multiple children that they cant take care of? Where is the sense in that?

Basically in Nigeria, it is a big deal to call out an elder for going out of line. Is this culture holding us back as a nation or should we uphold this culture?

• Family sense of entitlement- P Square's sister selling kunu.
• Big Brother Naija Reunion - Dorathy's other love triangles & squares.

We take on the Brighto vs. Dora situationship. Would you offer oral sex to a guy who you like, but he just wants to be friends and keep the relationship undefined? If you decide to give such a guy oral sex, what are you allowed to expect from him after you have given him oral pleasure?

What is expected when a man and woman who have been sexting, sending nudes to each other and sexually facetiming, finally meet?

The feud between writers Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie & Akwaeke Emezi - should a trans-woman's issues be equated to that of someone who has been a woman all her life? 

Are there rules to the names we can call God? That is the question at the center of the controversy involving gospel artists Tope Alabi and Yinka Alaseyori after Tope publicly criticized a song popularized by Yinka. 

In addition, where do we draw the line between "the sky is big enough for all of us" and "someone stole my idea"....especially when the idea is not unique?

Last week, Nigerian female artists, Tiwa Savage and Sheyi Shay clashed in a salon. It all started with a 'Hi' from Sheyi and ended in an altercation that needed people's intervention. 

One of Nigeria's most popular pastors, TB Joshua, died last week. Amid the shock that came from his death, some of his colleagues i.e. Chris Okotie, decided to pen down a note three days after stating that a certain wizard named Emmanuel has been consumed. Was this about TB Joshua?

Lastly, June 12th was Nigeria's Democracy Day. It was a day that came with more sadness than happiness. Protesters were killed AGAIN and people  were asking valid questions about the state of the nation.

So much to talk about, from the first republic gazette of the 1960s which is supposed to solve our herdsmen crisis in 2021 to dealing with people in language they understand despite obvious government failures to blaming #endsars protesters for preventing foreign investments in Nigeria even though government's disregard for rule of law is on the increase in the country. 

The show Blue Therapy, has been trending for a while now. There is so much to discuss with regards to each couple and we start with Deborah and Jamel. 

Nigeria's president, Buhari, makes a tweet that could incite ethnic violence in a country with ethnic tensions. 

Twitter deletes the tweet for violating community guidelines.

Nigerian government throws a tantrum and bans the use of Twitter in Nigeria. 

On this episode we talk about the  Ponzi schemes currently making waves. Recently in Nigeria, an investment company called Brisk Capital was spotlighted. The founder, a 21 year old guy, was arrested by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission for scamming investors of over N2billion. Are the investors also to blame for investing in such quick money schemes?

Regina Daniel’s mother finds love in a younger man and Regina (who is married to an older, OLDER man) is apparently not happy about it.

We join the great debate on Twitter from a couple of weeks ago - is 200K naira (~$500) too small to survive on in Nigeria?

We also chat about the alleged new love interest of FFK.....at this point, we've lost count of the number of women he has been linked with since news of his separation from his wife hit the blogs last year.

Lastly, why do hair dressers abroad charge an arm and a leg to do your hair. 

On this episode Efe (specifically) is trying to drag Eka's adopted family member, Burna Boy. Her reason? She and many other haters on Nigerian Twitter believe he is always 'priding against himself.'

In other news from our lovely country Nigeria, the senate is trying to pass a bill that criminalises the payment of ransom to kidnappers. Sense or nonsense?

This is a heart break episode. 

First, Olori's heart breaks as we discuss what black women have to go through in the hands of black men. From men stringing you along while still stuck on their exes to men willing to enjoy the perks of being with a rich woman but never willing to take her seriously.

Then we move to financial heart break as Olori and Eka try to console themselves as Bitcoin crashes, while Efe laughs from the side lines :)

Why will people flex with loans meant to support small businesses during Covid? A lot of Americans are now in trouble because they fraudulently took out these loans for non existent businesses. The worst part is that they used most of this loan money to buy items that were used for social media oppression.

In other news, Pastor Paul Adefarasin of the popular Nigerian church, House on the Rock, asked his congregation to have a Plan B when it comes to living in Nigeria. He advised that people find a way to have an alternative to Nigeria. Was this the right thing to say with the massive platform and followership he has? 

It is all over the news this week - the ongoing crisis between Israel and Palestine that has left many dead and injured. Who is to blame and how do we move forward?

We also touch on the ever growing loot, allegedly stolen by Nigeria's former petroleum minister. How come we keep on hearing about the stolen funds but no movement on investigations to apprehend her and her co-conspirators?

Bobrisky was trending recently, this time, his Personal Assistant called him out for sending her out his house after hitting her with a speaker. Bob denied laying his hands on her and claimed that she staged the injury on her face. This PA was one of Bobrisky's fans that drew a tattoo of him on their body. This whole incident led us to talk about the mentorship, internship and employee employer relations in Nigeria. 

In other news, Nigerians were not happy with Ghana. The issue this time was Ghana's recent deportation of Nigerian's who were supposedly living in Ghana illegally. This was shocking as we thought being part of the ECOWAS worked similarly to being part of the EU where travel and stay was free. 

What is the point of divorcing after being married for 27 years, with no "obvious major issues"? What could have been the final straw for Bill and Melinda?

In a different matter, since the Baba Ijesha child defilement scandal broke, the men of the Yoruba movie industry have been silent except when called out or defending the human rights of Baba Ijesha (the alleged rapist). This is how rape culture is maintained, when calls for justice for the rapist seem louder than calls for justice for the victim. 

We had to conclude the Baba Ijesha story in this episode as Efe made a statement in the last episode that most women will not date or take advantage of a man or boy younger than 18. We had to correct that, as many boys are also sexually abused at a young age.

In other news, Love and Hip Hop stars, Yandy and Mendeecees were trending recently. The reason they were trending begged the question- will you wait for your partner and hold the family down for four years or more till he comes out of prison? 

A Yoruba film industry actor has been accused of defiling a minor 7 years ago, when she was just 7 years old. Just recently, he was caught on tape sexually assaulting the same minor, in a sting operation to gather evidence to substantiate the claim of defilement from 7 years ago. The news has torn the Yoruba film industry into 2 factions - one in support of the actor and the other in support of the child and her guardian who is also a member of the entertainment industry. 

The case has also brought to light the weaknesses in our sexual crime laws and moral decadence in the society whereby a victim can still be blamed for her own assault despite the fact that she could not consent to the sexual advances as well as there being video evidence of her claims. 

There was a DANG story (on Instagram) where a couple in a long distance marriage decided that the wife should move back to Nigeria so the family can be together. Suddenly, the wife gets a big promotion and wants to change her mind. Should she leave the promotion or risk loosing her marriage as the husband is not having it?

The hot topic in Nigeria last week was whether or not Isa Patami, Minister of Communications and Digital Economy in Nigeria, should resign. Information from his past had surfaced, where he came across as being sympathetic towards terrorism. Many Nigerians feel he should resign because he holds a position that is sensitive to national security and Nigeria is facing a never ending battle with the terrorist group called Boko Haram. Others say all these extremist sentiments are in his past and he is a changed man now. Cancel him or let him stay on as minister?

We also dabble into dentists' obsession with wisdom teeth and the #secureikoyi uproar. 

A recent award given to contributors in the Nigerian Film Industry, Nollywood, by the Lagos State Government in conjunction with Ebony Life sparked a little controversy. The main person to have an issue with this award was actress, producer and screenwriter, Ruth Kadiri, who openly called out the award organisers for selecting the winners based on the fact that they were part of a clique and side-lining her yet again. Was she petty to call them out or right to do so as a non clique member?

In other news, popular Nigerian media personality, Uti Nwanchukwu went on a twitter rant about monogamy. According to him, monogamy should not be expected if you are married or in a serious relationship because it is impossible for someone to be with just one person for the rest of their lives. 

The Queen of England can teach us all a thing or two about avoiding family drama at funerals. While we need to look to native doctors to learn about forgiveness? Lastly, when does a housewife cross the line from demanding for her rights to being ungrateful. 

In Nigeria, many people see it as their duty to be the dress code police. They go as far as enforcing their standards on strangers. While this is wrong, is it wrong to call someone out when you feel they are insulting your religion with their outfit? 

Last week, Nigerian businesswoman, Toyin Lawani, posted photos of herself in an unconventional, very revealing and sexy nun outfit. A lot of Christians were upset with her and took offense claiming that she could never do that with a Muslim attire. On the same light, a picture of a teacher in a classroom with students made rounds. The problem with this picture was the female teacher's form fitting outfit which covered her body but caused a stare due to her big bum. 

What is appropriate and what is inappropriate?

So much to talk about from DMX's death to the dangers of giving frequent rides to the opposite sex when you are married or in a relationship. 

Do Nigerian churches do the most with their events calendar? They seem to be against families spending quality time with each other during holidays, the long Easter weekend being one of them. 

In other church news, some pastors have been strongly advising their congregation against taking the Covid-19 vaccine. The pastor that has been on this table is Pastor Chris of Christ Embassy. Unfortunately the information he was passing on a live broadcast didn't seat well in the UK and he has been fined £125k pounds for spreading mis-information. 

Davido was also trending again last week and it was for unpaid escort bills.

Inspired by Saweetie and Quavo's relationship drama - Would you collect the expensive gifts you gave your ex? Where is the line between a "normal" couple's fight and abuse?

Lastly, were you as shocked as we were on finding out that Don Jazzy was married 18 years ago....at age 20.....and then divorced 2 years after the marriage?

Christians and Muslims in Kwara State, Nigeria clashed recently when a government funded 'mission' school banned their Muslim students from wearing hijab. 

Is asking a lady to look clean and cute while cooking wrong? Do ladies on twitter get triggered once cooking and looking presentable is mentioned?

Social media went crazy last week when Derrick Jaxn; a self proclaimed relationship 'expert' and self love ambassador, posted a video addressing his cheating scandal. In this video, he addressed the world seated with his wife and proceeded to answer questions (also with his wife's moral support) on his Instagram live. On the days following this controversial video and Instagram live session, his wife released two videos on her own Instagram account, reacting to the comments she received and Derrick himself released another video reacting to his own video. 

The whole series of event got us confused as to what the aim of the videos were and made us question the sanity of both parties.

Nigerian customer service is very questionable and a lot of businesses treat their customers badly. We saw this recently when a restaurant owner, Denike Balogun of Cafe de Flore had an issue with a customer, Masidat Kassim. The customer, a business owner herself, dedicated her Instagram page to dragging the restaurant owner  until she was refunded for the service she paid for which she didn't receive. 

This whole drama begged the question; is dragging a vendor online the only way to get a refund in Nigeria? Also do Nigerian customers deserve the service they get due to the way they approach businesses? 

Congratulations to the new, female president of Tanzania, President Samia Suluhu!

We start off discussing 2 different but prevalent realities across Africa: we celebrate President Samia's ascension into the highest office in Tanzania while being utterly disappointed that some men in Nekede Polytechnic (higher institution of learning in Nigeria) will decide their next Student Union leader based on how the person urinates.

The BBP ladies also participate in the #choosetochallenge movement, in celebration of International Womens' Day! This movement aims to destroy toxic stereotypes, promote gender equality and elevate the voices of women around the world.

Lastly, is cheating a deal breaker for you?