Blaikie Psychotherapy

We encounter loss in all sorts of ways…the death of a loved one, the end of a friendship, the loss of a job… One that we often experience is the loss of a pet, either through death or the end of a relationship–and the grief that comes from this. This special, and often unrecognized loss, is not easy. So, how do we cope?

Part of self-care is giving ourselves permission to slow down. But what does “slowing down” look like? I suggest that it will look different for everyone and that there is no shortage of resources to help us find our way.

People who know me, are aware that I’m an avid wool spinner and knitter…but when I’m talking about “I’m Spinning…” in this episode’s title, I’m not talking about the wool I’m playing with because of extra time at home, I’m talking about my head. All the changes that are happening are mind-boggling!

Balance is a topic that has been coming up a lot recently, both personally and with clients. During this time of Covid-19, many of us are trying to figure out how to juggle the reality of daily existence while not knowing what is coming next during this pandemic.

It has been quite a journey. Who knew that when our daily lives underwent an abrupt change in mid-March that we, now staring at mid-Fall, would still be adjusting to a world with COVID-19.

Humour is a funny thing (no pun intended!).  What one person thinks is hilarious, another person barely breaks a smile.  What counts as humour in one culture is seen as insulting in another.

Not only is humour tricky, but we also hold certain beliefs about its value–especially regarding our health.  In this post, we’ll explore three areas of belief about humour’s effect on mental and physical health:  popular culture, science and personal experience.

You don’t have to do it all. Sometimes life throws us a curveball.  Maybe we have been diagnosed with a serious illness.  Our partner has ended the relationship or died.  Something else happens, and we suddenly find ourselves living alone and struggling to cope. It is at the curveball points in life that people often seek out a therapist.  When I’m working with people who are at this point, one of the common challenges they are encountering isn’t emotional but involves the regular tasks of life.

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.      Robert H. Schuller

For anyone who has had to deal with a troublesome nearby resident, they can understand the truth in the old saying “Good fences make good neighbours.” Just as a fence is a physical boundary that allows for privacy and controlled interactions, emotional boundaries do the same.

Core beliefs are the very essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world, as well as the future.  Our core beliefs then inform how we operate in the world.

The message we often get from media is that we’re not wonderful in our current form. There are times when we need to make changes in order to take care of ourselves.  If we have reached an unhealthy weight or need to improve our interpersonal skills, then there is work to do.  However, at the same time, we also can accept that we are ok where we are (in this moment).

As we continue our practice of physical distancing and social isolation during this time of COVID-19, certain things are obvious…we miss seeing our friends and family members in-person; Zoom parties have lost their novelty, and many of us feel lonely.

What is psychological resilience?  The American Psychological Association (2017) defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.”  It’s our ability to pick ourselves up after hard times and carry on–often wiser and more resourceful.

Who doesn’t love wild fairy tales?  These stories have been a mainstay of many a child’s bedtime routine–introducing us to mythic characters while teaching  life lessons from the safety of our pillows.

So, in this swirl of anxiety, thoughts, fears and negative images; how will I cope?

And the Globe & Mail article I reference - https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-tips-for-managing-anxiety-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/

One of the concepts in Buddhism is that ‘everything changes…nothing stays the same’.  While I have found this to be true, change can come in different ways.  Sometimes it’s foisted upon us, and sometimes we are the initiators.

The focus of this podcast is on changes that we put in place, and specifically, the mindset and process (Stages of Change) that make self-directed change possible.

Individually, we often come up with our personal idea of normal by looking and comparing ourselves to others.  That’s how we determine what is the standard or regular pattern.  However, what happens when what we are experiencing is unlike that of our those around us?

Unless we are presented with an opportunity to think about our own death (a diagnosis, loss of a loved one, serious car accident), it isn’t something that most of us want to spend time doing.  If left to our own devices, we tend to imagine that we’ll live, if not forever, at least for a very long time.  However, once in a while, we are given a non-traumatic invitation to think about what will happen once we die.

Let's explore the concept of forgiveness…What is it?  Who benefits?  Why is it important? And, most importantly, how do we do it?

People come and go in our lives for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes it’s because we meet a new friend, or a relationship ends.  Maybe we’re the ones coming and going as we change jobs or move to a new city.  At some point, our entrances and exits are more substantial…we are born and we die.  That’s the circle of life.

One of the great illusions that we hang on to as humans is that the earth beneath our feet is solid.   However, science, and our awareness of earthquakes, and erupting volcanoes, tells us that this isn’t true.  Yet, we trust in the illusion because of personal experience–we can’t feel the ground moving, so it must be stable.

Today's podcast talks about the nature of "closure" and the grief journey.

When I told a friend the topic for today's podcast, she was understandably confused…if you feel the same, please stay with me, it will make sense!

If you’ve never had a panic attack, you’re fortunate. 

Today's podcast talks about panic attacks and gives some techniques to use to help manage them.

The "So What" game can help you manage your anxiety

Talking about the voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough.

Happiness and a wonderful find at the library.

A little "about us".