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Really Good Advice for New Moms - A Satirical Podcast About Parenting

Really Good Advice for New Moms - A Satirical Podcast About Parenting

By Kierstin & Blandy
Being a mom is hard. This podcast will make it harder.
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SELF CARE FOR NEW MOMS: Preserving Your Peace By Limiting Your Family Size [MID-SEASON FINALE]
What's good, Mama Bears?! This week Kierstin Reszka and Blandy Cobbles are wrapping up their mid-season with a conversation about size. Maybe yours is teeny tiny or perhaps it's you know, not. The important thing here as that it's just right for you!  We're not talking about chairs made for bears who are being burgled by a weirdo little girl with insufficient adult supervision and we're not even talking about penises, you silly goose. We're talking about family size! _____________________________________ Sources used in this episode: What Couples with Children Argue About Most by Nicholas Zill on Institute For Family Studies
11:53
November 17, 2021
ASK BLANDY: Making The Holidays Special for Young Kids
Happy Wednesday, Mama Bears! Today, Blandy Cobbles is talking the holidays and how to make sure you don't mess them up really, really bad to the point where your kids hate you for the rest of their lives and seek therapy because of your crappy gift-giving skills.  ___________________________ Hey, we have a website right here! Wow! So shiny!
05:12
November 11, 2021
Self Care For New Moms: Quality Time & Connection With Your Kid
[EXPLICIT] The ladies are back to discuss how spending time with your kids is self care. Kierstin has a lot of excuses per usual about why she was MIA from the podcast last week. Meanwhile, Blandy recalls a thrilling and dangerous encounter in the woods and Plevin reveals some disturbing behavior in this latest episode of Really Good Advice For New Moms.  Get excited, Mama Bears! _________________________________ Check out our website for merch! Just kidding, we don't have any.
15:34
November 03, 2021
The Real Kierstin - No Episode This Week
What's up, Mama Bears? The Real Kierstin pops in to let ya'll know that the past week has been bananas and, consequently, Blandy, Kierstin and Plevin will be silent this week.  _______________ Missing the girls? Go look at pictures of them on their poorly constructed website!
01:12
October 27, 2021
ASK BLANDY: Missing My Baby at Work
Happy Hump Day, Mama Bears! Blandy's back from the comfort of a hospital bed to offer her Really Good Advice on how to handle missing your little one while you're at work. Meanwhile, Kierstin is ferret-sitting and it's not going swimmingly at all. Yikes!
06:41
October 20, 2021
Self Care For New Moms: Listening to Your Body
[EXPLICIT] Kierstin Reszka wants to know, have you taken a minute lately to listen to your body? Not just your stomach gurgles and weird throat groans but you know, the deep down stuff? In today's episode her and Blandy get learn to get curious about our body's cues instead of ignoring them to play video games all day. I mean parent! Parent! Because this is a podcast about how to parent.  Also, Plevin requests a controlled substance that rocks Kierstin and Blandy's world so hard that they both almost crap themselves.
13:52
October 13, 2021
ASK BLANDY: How to Refute Your Child's Vaccines
[EXPLICIT] In this week's Ask Blandy, Ms. Cobbles is thrown off her already shaky kilter when she accidentally reads a controversial email from a friend of the podcast. Kierstin Reszka only speaks five whole words in this episode so you won't have much to skip over in this bonus installment of Really Good Advice For New Moms. #parenting #satire #advice #comedy
08:08
October 06, 2021
Self Care For New Moms: Should I See a Therapist?
[EXPLICIT] Is this really a podcast if we don't talk about therapy? Sorry guys this one isn't sponsored by any of your fave teletherapy companies. This is just Blandy Cobbles and Kierstin Reszka talking mental health for new moms as they get down and dirty about therapy and why new moms definitely need it. Or don't. If they can't afford it. We're not here to tell you what to do. I mean, we are, but by your own consent. Keep it real, Mama Bears! Affordable or Free Resources for Mental Health Care Apps I Am - Daily Affirmations  [FREE] Bloom - CBT Therapy & Self-Care [$60 per year] Calm - Meditation & Sleep Stories [FREE with paid options] Podcasts Mom & Mind for Pregnancy and Postpartum Mental Health with Dr. Kat M.O.M. Moms on Mental Health
17:26
September 29, 2021
ASK BLANDY: How Do I Have a Mess Free House With Kids?
[EXPLICIT] In today’s episode of Ask Blandy, your favorite ferret mama answers a reader question about how in the heck ya keep a clean house when your lil clowns are always running around messing it up!
12:48
September 22, 2021
Self Care For New Moms: Not Giving a F*ck!
[EXPLICIT] Listen up, Mama Bears! In today’s episode Kierstin dissects the concept of practicing self care by not giving a flying f*ck what other parents think about your own parenting style. Meanwhile, Blandy is, per usual, offended and Plevin’s language grows concerning. Sources used for this episode are here ✔️ https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/07/well/family/most-mothers-feel-judged-with-families-often-the-worst-critics.html
12:22
September 15, 2021
ASK BLANDY: How to Tell Your Boss You’re Pregnant
[EXPLICIT] Blandy’s got a mouthful for ya in this RGA minisode. Here, she answers the burning question: how do you tell your boss you’re pregnant? Her answers will NOT surprise you. Enjoy, sweet mama bears!
06:55
September 09, 2021
Self Care For New Moms: Uncancelled
Guess who’s back, mama bears! That’s right, the dynamic duo that brought you the absolute worst sound engineering possible is back with a brand new season for all your favorite new moms. This time the girls dig into that buzziest of buzz word(s) - self care. Plus, we’re introduced to a new person…?
11:09
September 01, 2021
MASSIVE UPDATE: We Got a Mic!
Blandy’s step-sister Stacia gifts her a mic to keep her from asking for cash. Blandy still doesn’t know how to use it though, Kierstin is still MIA and the future of Really Good Advice is hanging from the ever loosening grip of an emotionally turbulent ferret enthusiast. #blandycobbles #kierstinreszka #reallygoodadvicefornewmoms
03:15
January 06, 2021
ASK BLANDY: Will I Poop Giving Birth?
Will I poop during labor?! Blandy’s back to answer your white hot burning questions - this time, will you or will you not take a huge dump right before you have your baby?? Find out now!
05:58
November 17, 2020
ASK BLANDY: How to Hide a Pregnancy
Shhhhh... the girls are back but don’t tell the internet police. In this blip of an “episode”, Blandy answers a listener question and records a phone call with Kierstin without her consent. The worst podcast about parenting is back and it’s about to get a whole lot scarier.
07:01
November 14, 2020
This Podcast is Cancelled
The worst advice about motherhood you’ve ever been given, you say? Bad news, Mama Bears. Kierstin Reszka and Blandy Cobbles are CANCELLED. Guess you’ll have to find another podcast to hate-binge 🤷‍♀️ #blandyiscancelledparty
11:24
July 10, 2020
How to Safely Install a Car Seat
Where in the world is Kierstin Reszka?! Not hosting Really Good Advice for New Moms, that’s for sure. Blandy goes it solo in the second to last episode of season one, giving step by step instructions on how to install a car seat with simple items like wood glue and bungee cords. Buckle up (or don’t) cuz it’s a wild ride!
09:29
June 17, 2020
How to Have Fun When You Have a Baby: Mocktails with Stacia
Is it okay to drink while breastfeeding? Craving alcohol / mommy juice big time? Time to clutch those pearls you bad mamajammas! It’s mocktail time with Blandy’s step-sister Stacia who is here explicitly to sell essential oils to Kierstin. #mocktails #mommyjuice #bossbabe
08:18
June 12, 2020
Strategies to Stop Hating Your Partner After Baby
Blandy Cobbles and Kierstin Reszka join forces once again, this time to explore ideas for wrangling those negative feelings towards your partner that pop up after having a baby. It turns out that hating your husband after you have a baby is almost too normal. Let’s talk about it! Other topics include how to pronounce Penn Badgley’s name, Blandy’s mom’s meatloaf recipe and a fart. Strap in, Mama Bears, this ones sharp!
13:29
June 03, 2020
Why Do I Hate My Husband After Having a Baby?
Why doesn’t my husband help with the baby? Why is my husband so lazy? Why does my husband smell so bad? The ladies are back in action after a three month hiatus, with a very special episode on the topic of completely loathing your partner after the new baby has arrived. Other subjects covered include Burger King and Subway. #nottruecrime #notaboutcoronavirus ____________________ Can't get enough of Kierstin and Blandy? Check out their website for more fun!
12:31
May 18, 2020
Clearing Up Some Stuff BONUS EPISODE
Hey momma bears! In this brief bonus episode Blandy and Kierstin clear up some misconceptions about themselves including that one of them is a ferret. Who is Kierstin Reszka? Who is Blandy Cobbles? You’re about to find out more than you ever wanted to!
08:13
February 29, 2020
Postpartum Vaginal Care
Why does your vagina hurt so bad after having a baby?? Put down your lunch cuz this one’s a doozy! In their fifth episode, Kierstin momsplains what to expect after a vaginal birth and how to care for that thing. Blandy opens up about her first and potentially last movie theater experience. Have fun, momma bears!
11:01
February 20, 2020
Is My Baby’s Poop Normal?
Why is it green? Grainy? Seedy? Get out the Glade, Blandy and Kierstin are talking the big P guys! What’s normal, what’s not and how to know in this episode all about your baby’s poop. Yeehaw!
09:03
February 16, 2020
How to Ask Your Partner for Help
Happy Valentine’s Day, mommies! In this episode Blandy Cobbles and Kierstin Reszka discuss matters of the heart - how to get your baby daddy to do shit for you. Postpartum relationship is a tricky topic so pair this special holiday episode with an entire box of chocolates and a bag of flaming hot Cheetos. You deserve it!
10:55
February 14, 2020
How To Bond With Your Baby
Why do you feel unattached to your new baby? Because they’re really whiny! Duh! In their second episode, Blandy and Kierstin offer up a steaming, mushy pile of advice on how to bond with your new baby even though it’s super annoying and loud and you haven’t slept in four days.
15:49
February 13, 2020
OUR FIRST EPISODE : What Makes a Mother?
Is being a mom really that hard?! In their debut episode, Kierstin Reszka and Blandy Cobbles struggle to stay on topic as they discuss the essence of a mother, forgiveness and Blandy’s dad’s second family.
11:08
February 13, 2020
About This Podcast
THIS IS PARENTING SATIRE. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. Now, meet your hosts! Kierstin Reszka is an all-around average mother of two who wears her FitBit while she devours the last scoop of freezer burned ice cream. Blandy Cobbles is an unsuccessful YouTuber living in her own mother’s attic with her seven ferrets. Man does it get sweaty up there! Together the two are bringing you their best advice for new motherhood. From getting your newborn to take a bottle to reigniting the romance after baby, these two will be your guide through the hardest days of those first couple years and beyond.
03:51
February 11, 2020