Bad, News Bears
By Bad, News Bears
Bad, News BearsMar 01, 2021
Episode 45: Holiday Passion with My Third Eye podcast
Octavio, Emily, Will, and Ghost bring you the news!! We end 2023 with a couple news stories about comparing xmas gifts and MRI machines and using a raccoon as toilet paper and a miracle birth and the machines are finally starting to fight back and a stark warning to all men about holiday passion.
Episode 44: Black Mirror
Will and Octavio bring you the news! This week we talk about a stolen ambulance and a florida woman trying to save christmas and the future of AI and a young criminal and an after school satan club and fake news about charged lemonade.
Episode 43: Hero of the Week
Octavio, Emily, and Will bring you the news!! We start out about a story of what should happen to people with bad work ethic and how grand theft auto 6 is basically florida man the video game, Emily tells us a weird conspiracy theory and we unlock a new fear when it comes to spiders and finally we end with a hero of the week when an escaped kangaroo fought the law and the law won!
Episode 42: Turkey Day Holiday Round-Up
On this episode Will and Octavio bring you the news. This week we brought a melting pot of stories from Christmas tree warnings to Russian prison soundtracks. Octavio brings us more murder and how to avoid confusion naming your business.
Episode 41: We Back!!
We are back after a quick visit to the hospital. Join us this week as Will, Octavio, and Emily bring you the news! This week Octavio teaches us some important survival skills to avoid a crocodile attack. Emily talks about Mexicans and trash bags. Finally, our Top Story dives into the world of toddler fighting rings we like to call, Fight Cubs.
Episode 40: Halloween special with Won Nothing podcast
Octavio and Emily are joined by Amanda and Dayvid from Won Nothing podcast to bring you Halloween stories!! Amanda tells us the story of the origins of the checking your kids candy then she tells us a mysterious story about an an animal attack. Dayvid tells us about the Bunny Man and his bridge. Emily tells us about a roomate who hears her friends being attacked. Octavio brings us two murderous stories involving a young man and serial killers from the late 70's.
Episode 39: Is he Dutch?
Octavio, Will, and Emily bring you the news! Have you ever mistaken a dead body for halloween decorations? What kind of car would you steal to get to your exotic dancer interview? Would you fake a medical emergency to get out of paying your restaurant tab? Does Johnny Yates actually live there? What is an Au Pair? Why does Aruba have a Statute of Limitations on murder?
Episode 38: That's Like Your Opinion, Man
Emily, Part time Josh and Octavio bring you the news! Ozempic is making Wal-Mart lose money? Did construction workers find El Chapos money stash? An African lawyer is arrested after going 26-0. Can little kids handle horror movies? Whats your favorite scary movie? Palestine vs Israel who's side are you on?
Episode 37: BREAKING NEWS!!
This week Will, Emily, and Octavio bring you the news. We keep Spooktober alive with a lady in a well story and discuss Harry Dicks. Emily talks about drugs and where to get them, and has some questions about war. We were interrupted with some breaking news in the Middle East and some consequences to the nation wide emergency alert. Finally, our Top Story of the Week brings us to the spooky capital of the US and would you pay $30k to speak to your dead relatives?
Episode 36: Cop Heavy with BarrowNormal Podcast
Josh and Heather from the BarrowNormal Podcast join Octavio and Emily to bring you the news! The Barrows start us out with some creepy tales from their lives then we dive into a group of criminal teens chased down by police hounds, Josh tells us a story about a family with a haunted doll and Heather goes into how Stormy Daniels is haunted. Does 87+13 mean anything to you? Do you have a vendetta against your singing coach? This weeks top story is about three Baton Rouge police officers being arrested in connection with a torture warehouse.
Episode 35: 55 Percent?
The Oso Malosos, Will.i.am, and Senora Queso bring you the news! We have an update to the alien mummies from Peru and a new conspriacy about those super cheap deals for national cheeseburger day. Some people shouldn't be parents and emergency personnel shouldn't leave their keys in the vehicles. Is Elon Musk doing a good thing with neuralink? HOW DOES A WHOLE F35 GO MISSING?!?
Episode 34: I Want to Believe
Part time Josh, the Oso Maloso, and Senora Queso bring you the news!!... kinda. We out here doing things a little different this week, although we are still talking about current news stories we are focusing on the conspiracy side of what's going on in the world. Were the Maui fires started by the "Elites", is the Tiffany Gomas that was interviewed by TMZ the same woman from the viral airplane video or is she a body double planted by the government? Finally are the two mummified alien bodies found in Cuzco Peru and presented to the Mexican government real? YOU DECIDE
Episode 33: Florida is Fun
Will, Emily, and Octavio bring you the news! A Florida woman tests the boundaries of both speed and intoxication with amazing results! Fun fact: if you make fun of a man's penis size he may get mad. Also if you are going to murder someone, don't leave a voicemail to your mom. We discuss how people practicing yoga confuse people and how much you liquor you can drink for free before getting caught. Finally, our Top Story brings us back to the Sunshine State and how a man is desperately trying to escape in a hamster wheel.
Episode 32: Just the Two of Us
Octavio and Emily bring you the news! This week its just the two of us but we still bring just as much nonsense in the news world as usual. We talk about being stuck at burning man and for some reason we still have to talk about the fact that RENTAHITMAN.COM isnt real. Whats the best way to conceal a weapon? Apparently Leprosy is something to worry about in 2023 and please dont post your crimes on social media. We finish out the episode with a warning about telling on yourself.
Episode 31: The Price is Wrong
Episode 30: I Do
Octavio, Will. and part time Josh bring you the news! This week we talk about California's first hurricane and a woman douses herself in diet mountain dew to tamper with evidence. Part time Josh brings us way down with a medical story that is proabably the worst thing we have ever heard. Are aliens taunting us? This weeks tops story is all about how a Family Feud contestant really hates his wife.
Episode 29: New Fear Unlocked, Thanks!
Will, Emily, and Octavio bring you the news!! Join us as we talk about the Montgomery brawl and what happens when you threaten the POTUS on social media. We also talk about spider boners and falling cheese and drugs in the ocean. We finish out strong with a story of just the worst thing that can happen while cutting your grass!
Episode 28: Ghost Kitchen with Tom
This week we have the one and only Tom from the Order of the Fly and Cadaver Pudding as our guest! Join us as Senora Queso and the Oso Maloso tell Tom all about the dangers of choking the chicken and pissing someone off thats holding a flag pole or getting in the way of an old man who just hit a hole in one. Meanwhile Tom tells us all about physical media going the way of the dodo amd he finishes us off with a conversation about the ethicality of of ghost kitchens.
Episode 27: Stay Hydrated
Part time Josh, Emily, and Octavio bring you the news! We start off with an update about a missing alabama woman then we talk about the shady actions taken against the SAG/AFTRA protestors and of course Emily brings us way down with an incredibly sad story about a flash flood. We wrap up the episode with a tale of two car thiefs and Texas' new unethical law regarding water breaks.
Episode 26: LISK
Emily, Will, and Octavio bring you the news!! This week a 15 year serial killer mistery was possibly solved! We also talk about a missing woman in alabama who was found after we recorded the episode plus theres a real cheeseburger in thailand. Mumble rapper gets got and a missing baby is found.
Episode 25: Sexy Nurses with JJ
Octavio, Emily, and special guest JJ from This is the life podcast bring you the news! this week we have a conversation about a woman who wanted off a plane because she saw something she couldnt explain. We also talk about a guy missing for 8 years and a nurse who went above and beyond and a cop who went above and beyond and another nurse who went above and beyond but then didnt.
Episode 24: Our Internet Sucks
Join us this week as Will, Emily, and Octavio bring you the most up to date headlines in the news. What happens when you shotgun a twisted tea with an alligator attached to it? Or walk down the boardwalk at Yellowstone and tempt fate by taking a dip in the thermal pools. Also lets discuss who in their right mind would rob someone via bicycle but then add them as a Facebook friend. All of that and more on this weeks episode!!
Episode 23: Tangents
SURPRISE!! Octavio, Emily and part time hero Josh bring you the news! On this bonus episode of Bad, News Bears we talk about a cop shooting at some kind of white suv 14 times then we talk about an un-bear-ably cute intruder. On the more serious side we talk about the short lived coup by the Wagner group against Putin himself along with a story about some drugs found at a daycare. We finish out the episode with the fight of the century between two pasty white tech giants thats right Mark Zuckerberg is set to literally fight Elon Musk in a UFC style fight!
Episode 22: the Heart of the Ocean
Octavio, Emily, Will, and Josh bring you the news! This week we have a very special ocean themed episode and as you can imagine we go ham on the tragic story of the Titan submersible. However we also cover shark attacks, whale attacks, china attacks and attacks on human decency. #FREEPIA
Episode 21: Saint Nick with Rev
Episode 20: Chop Shop Innit
Join Octavio, Will, and Emily as we discuss the modern day Dukes of Hazzard, how to fit 8 inches of eel up your butt, and how the South might still be racist. Later we discuss why making your own plane isn't recommended, the sex Olympics and where to sign up, and finally how to become a "nullo". All this and more on this episode of Bad, News Bears!
Episode 19: Baby Gun Club
Octavio, Emily, and Josh bring you the news! This week we cover airplane woes and good boyfriends along with a dumb gang of car theifs which leads to discussions about tik tok trends, we also talk about pizza slaps and end out the episode with a dumb way to get caught for a crime.
Episode 18: Street Harmacist
Episode 17: Look Back At It!
Will, Octavio, and Emily bring you the news! This week we bring you less doom and gloom but still some doom and gloom. Join us as we talk about Detective Covid, a horrific sleepover, a vacation gone wrong and some robbers that got off on the wrong foot. We also talk about the sensation of a fruit roll up and we wrap things up with a story about a horse.
Episode 16: What are the Odds?
Octavio, Will, and Emily bring you the news! Its technically our hundredth episode which is wild and to celebrate we brought the doom and gloom! This week we talk about a horrible grandmother, a horrible situation on our borders and a horrible uber customer. We also talk about horrible russian parents and a horrible situation if you're a cop in Hawaii. We finish out strong with a horrible story about jammin out with your clam out.
Episode 15: Rentahitmandotcom
Emily, octavio, and special guest Josh bring you the news! this week we talk about a possible solution to the fentanyl crisis along with a way to finally meet jesus, we have a conversation about chaos at big events we also cover a story about a fisherman who unknowingly saved a womans life then we finish out strong with a cautionary tale for any young men out there looking to use their skills to make a quick buck.
Episode 14: I Love You with all my Fart
Will, Emily, and Octavio bring you the news! This week we talk about snakes on a plane and a cop chase that ended horribly, along with some bragging gone wrong and a vengeful ex. We finish out strong with a story of a girl who farted into a jar and drowned the whole world.
Episode 13: Don't Mess With My Chevy
Episode 12: "Fake Taxi"
Emily, Octavio, and Will bring you the news. On this weeks episode we discuss what it means to be a skater boi, Podunk Mississippi and the news anchors who are too hip for their own good. We talk about Steven Seagal training the Russian Armed Forces in Jazzercise and how cow farts will cause the next Ice Age. In our Top Story we teach our listeners to not get in a taxi if there are parenthesis on the door, you're welcome.
Episode 11: Animal House
Will, Octavio, and Emily bring you the news! This week we bring you a smattering of animal stories. we start off with a lazy rat then we talk about a sloth that ruined a girls life and then we finish strong with a wholesome zebra story. This weeks top story is actually updates to three stories we had done in episodes past.
Episode 10: Ohioisonfire
Octavio, Will, and Emily bring you the news! This week we cover the horrific deaths of cattle and Will covers the history of Pellagra. Emily tells us about a woman who finds her husband who disappeared for eight months and we also learn about the future of country music lyrics. In this weeks top story we talk about the intake protocols for exotic cats at the zoo! Please send your kitty pics to www.badnewsbearspod@gmail.com
Episode 9: This Sounds Like a You Problem
Octavio and Will bring you the news!!! This week is just two dudes talking about ridiculous new stories from around the world.
Episode 8: #SpartanStrong
Emily, Will, and Octavio bring you the news! This week we bring an update from a story we told last episode then Emily tells a story that hits a little too close to home. We dont talk about Flight Club and we don't talk to Elmo. Emily finishes out the episode by covering the horrific school shooting at Michigan State University.
Episode 7: Dont Kill Me Orphan Annie
Will, Timmy, and Octavio bring you the news. This week we talk about what happens if you put your genitalia next to a fire and the Chinese floating giant balloons over the US. A lady discovers that fireworks are in fact not edible, and a family adopts a child only to find out she is trying to kill them. So join us this week for more news delivered badly on Bad, News Bears!
Episode 6: Don't Valentines Me, Bro
Octavio, Emily, and Will bring you the news. This week we have a very special Valentines episode where we talk about news stories throughout the years that have happened on or around Valentine's Day. We start with the horrific tale of Jodine serrin followed by the horrific tale of Susan Hamilton. We also discuss a Valentine's Day bank robbery and a fan submitted story about a woman driver, our top story this week is all about a man trying to get his woman back, badly.
Episode 5: Massaging Unhappiness
Timmy, Octavio, Emily, and Will bring you the news! Join us as we talk about a thieving lunch lady, a gnarly find at a gas station, a geriatric zombie, Tik Tok FBI, and a guy who is desperate to get out of the friendzone at any cost!
Episode 4: Never Been Kissed
Emily, Octavio, Will, and Timmy bring you the news! This week we here a story that happened to Octavio, what's the difference between whiskey and whisky, a methed up pigeon, a bomb scare and what's really going on in hell?!? We finish strong with a story of someone who missed their high school days so much they decided to go back and experience it again.
Episode 3: Murderlus Rift
Will, Emily, Octavio, and Timmy bring you the news, from the devastating mass shooting in Monterey Park to the Great Butter Flood of 2023. We cover the lucky officer who nabbed a double DUI, and the Canadian drunk who wants to sue Budweiser for crashing her car. We end off with the exciting new addition to the VR world, the Murderlus Rift!!!
Episode 2: I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!
Octavio, Emily, and Timmy bring you the news! This week we talk about the mysterious disappearance of a superfan, Emily brings us an update about the Moscow murders. We also talk about a swinging police department, a knife wielding florida man and a girls worst nightmare!
Episode 1: Peanut Butter Gun
Timmy, Octavio, Will, and Emily bring you the news. This week we talk about Snake Genitalia, the arrest of the king of toxic masculinity, the ongoing investigation and arrest of Bryan Kohberger, we also talk about the Beeological terrorist, and a killer tesla!! We hope you enjoy our very first episode.