B Movie Breakdown is a weekly podcast where we find humor and enjoyment in awesomely bad films of the past and present. Home of the good, the bad and the WTF. Each week’s movie will be revealed on the prior episode, so you too can join in on the madness!
This movie is both gruesome and unsettling. Is it entertainment? Is there a not so subtle message in here about horrible, real world shit? Does John J. 's over the top, cartoonish crusade of revenge detract from that message? This is Rambo: Last Blood.
Did you see The Predator? If not, why? Did you just not care? Do you normally listen to what critics have to say about "genre movies"? Maybe you just feel burned from the bad sequels/reboots of the past? Or maybe Predator just has a niche fanbase with standards so high they will never be pleased? Well this week on the podcast, we answer these questions and more while we share our thoughts on The Predator from 2018.
As we continue our new year, new decade, and mostly new to Nick theme for the month, we stumble upon one man's vision about the ultimate synthetic being named David. Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, the super smart new captain of the colony ship Covenant discovers what he thinks to be an uncharted paradise. While there, his crew meet David, the synthetic savior, sorry, survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. What has David been up to since the Prometheus expedition? Well let's just go with the old saying, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop," and those hands turn this mysterious world dark and dangerous very quick when a hostile alien life-form, created by our new synthetic savior David, forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival.
Since it is a new year and new decade, we decided to kick off 2020 with some newer not so B Movies that we (mainly Nick) have not seen yet. Which brings us to our first selection of January 2020.... Certain stories verge on being more than a story. They are an experience. Stephen King's IT is that kind of a story, and with the release of IT Chapter Two on home video, we take the opportunity to discuss all things IT. From Maturin the Turtle to the multiverse, we get into IT. (Please excuse the audio in the first 30 minutes after the intro, we had some technical difficulties)
Christmas has come and past but we wanted to give you guys some content this week even if it's a few days late. As you enjoyed your holidays this week, we wanted to join in and discuss some of our favorite gifts received when growing up. A lot of you will probably even share some of the ones we picked in our lists.
Do you feel Christmas has strayed from its source? Do you believe that capitalism has run a muck and ruined a once pure holiday? Do you blame the druids for the war against hot chocolate? Would you rather ignore historical context and string together a bunch of true things to help prove your thesis? Is your idea of a good Christmas movie one that twists true things to prove a thesis about religion? Then this movie is meant for you. If you think this sounds like a total chore, then this episode is meant for you. Enjoy some holiday cheer as we discuss a movie with an agenda truly all it's own. We should all be thankful that Kirk Cameron decided Christmas needed saving because he "saves" it the only way he knows how, by filming a sermon inside of an SUV for under 90 minutes.
Director Bob Clark is best known for creating the holiday classic A Christmas Story, but most people don't know that he was also responsible for a much darker holiday classic as well. The type of holiday classic that is less about Christmas and more about a sorority house full of innocent college girls and a very strange killer hiding in the attic. Black Christmas is not only an important film in the world of Canadian horror, but it is now regarded as a classic of both the Christmas and the horror genres, as well as a major touchstone in the slasher genre as we now know it.
If we learned anything from Richie Rich's Christmas Wish, which is available on Disney+, it's that to love is to own. Isn't that what the Christmas spirit is really all about anyways? And just like Christmas, this film has it all: a kid who wishes he was never born yet still physically exists when that wish comes true, some of the WORST CGI that has ever existed, and Marla Maples raising her soon to be ex-husband/President Of The United States Of America. What more could you really want out of a Christmas classic such as this?
Telepathic pets Shadow, Sassy and Chance are back! It's been three years since their trek through the woods where they telepathically talked to each other in order to make it out alive. Now their owners live in San Fransisco and they're taking a vacation to Canada. Only problem, the telepathic pets escape from the airport while being put in the cargo area of the plane. Along their journey home, they meet telepathic bully dogs, a gang of telepathic abandoned rebel dogs, and two bumbling dog catchers who get roughly $16 per dog. If you loved this movie as a kid, it's time to take another look at this Disney classic in which most of the movie is just shots of animals starring at each other as they telepathically talk to each other.
Over the past few episodes, Corey has been sharing his top ten scary guys, girls, animals, monsters, etc in movies. During that time we continuously teased Nick's lists for these very subjects and now he finally has them all ready for this exciting half episode of the podcast. We will be back next week with a normal, full episode of the podcast for your listening pleasure.
Brace yourselves as we discuss the ultimate showdown between two of the biggest horror icons of all time. Most recently on the show we discussed the entire Freddy franchise and in the past tackled all of Jason, so what better time than now to see how the 2003 Versus film truly holds up. So pop some Hypnocil and get ready for the ride, it's Freddy vs. Jason....PLACE YOUR BETS!!!
Last you listened, Freddy Krueger had met his match and was finally destroyed for good.....or so we thought. It took his creator, Wes Craven, to bring him back to life in the best way possible. Sadly, this true gem and solid sequel in the world of Freddy tends to get over looked due to pure Freddy fatigue. With only a few years removed from Freddy's Dead and how meta the movie was, as opposed to being an in canon sequel, tended to turn people off. If you haven't witnessed Wes Craven's New Nightmare, it's time you do.
In less than 24 hours Halloween begins, but for now our "canon" dive into the world of Freddy Krueger is coming to an end. For 7 years Freddy tortured the kids of Elm Street and terrified audiences nationwide, but after 5 movies the world was truly ready to see Freddy dead. To most the series started to become a joke and, in this last installment, the studio definitely steered into the zany more comical side in which people viewed the character in. They also decided to throw Dream Demons into the equation, but only explore them in the final 30 minutes of the film. Speaking of the end of this film, it is entirely in 3D and you bet we damaged our psyche in order to discuss that aspect just for you!
IT"S A BOY!!!!! Get ready to have your ear drums impregnated with awesomeness as we continue our deep dive into the world of Freddy Krueger with A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child! Last we left the teens of Elm Street, young Alice used her's and the recently deceased Kristen's powers to defeat Freddy and send him back to hell once again. Now Alice and Dan have left the past behind, got a whole new group of friends, are graduating high school, and are about to find out that Alice is pregnant. Little do they know, Freddy is alive and well using their unborn child's dream state to torcher them and their new friends. Will Alice be the first to survive two rounds with Freddy? Listen in and find out!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you another B Movie Breakdown After School Special. This time around Corey is joined by former co-host Gina, as Nick is out of town, to discuss the made-for-television Disney adventure "classic" known as Fuzzbucket. While this magical tale might not be anything to write home about, at least they got to see the original commercials that played during its May 18, 1986 airdate, including one for Shanghai McNuggets!
The Dream Master is an interesting entry in the Elm Street saga. It's definitely not a movie most people love, but it's also not a movie most people hate, it's just kind of right there in the middle. While it does a great job at developing the newly introduced Alice and her abilities as The Dream Master, it does a bad job with making you care at all about her friends; which include Joey, Kincaid, and Kristen from Part 3! Yes, three characters from the last film are actually in this film, but are sadly killed off way too quickly. If this was the plan all along for Kristen, it's no wonder Patricia Arquette didn't reprise the role. Would have been nice to see Kristen and Alice team up in that end battle against good old Freddy.
Of all the stories and of all the characters and of all the premises that could be capitalized on, perhaps Dream Warriors is one of the best. You want a concept maximized to its fullest potential? Dream warriors gives you probably one of the best examples. We often talk about movies in relation to the alien/aliens paradigm and Dream Warriors is nightmare's aliens. More battles. A more involved villain. A bad guy truly owning himself and clear heroes. Dream warriors is incredible.
Freddy is known for terrorizing your dreams, but what if Freddy was just getting the hang of this undead spirit demon thing? What if Freddy was more infatuated with horrifying the real world than giving you nightmares? What if Freddy behaved more like a demon possessing a mortal vessel than the monster he would grow to become? You would have the second Nightmare on Elm Street, that's what. Let's get in to it.
What is a dream? A hope? A fantasy? A nightmare? All of the above? Well, when our pal Freddy is involved, only the latter applies. The B Movie Breakdown is about to be sleep paralyzed by the child of a 1000 maniacs starting this week with Mr. Kruger's inaugural outing, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Instead of watching pure trash like we have been known to do, we are reveling in cinema's finer things by revisiting one of the greatest, wildest and most widely known properties horror has to offer. So pound that fifth pot of coffee and get pumped, we've got a monster to battle.
You ever want to watch a movie that would be more interesting if it was a documentary? You ever think spending half a movie on speed boat racing when the real movie takes place in the other half you've stopped caring about would be one hell of a party? Are you a fan of old men with jet black hair? No? Good. Because we watched this cluster so you didnt have to and our discussion takes a few unexpected turns. Speed kills many things, including our attention spans so let's get wild.
At the height of the "War On Drugs" and the "Just Say No" campaign emerged Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue, an animated made for television special that brought together all of our favorite cartoon characters to teach us the horror's of drugs. With an intro from President George H.W. Bush and first lady Barbara, it became very clear who the driving force behind this film truly was and who foot the bill to get all of these cartoon characters from so many different studios under one roof. Did this film succeed with its grueling tale of the young doped up Michael or did it make it seem that if you do drugs all of your favorite cartoons will come to life and hang out with you? We all know the true answer.
250 episodes ago we had a dream. A dream that involved watching terrible, terribly awesome and/or lesser known movies of the past and present. But to what end? Why would anyone volunteer to do this to themselves? Would it be to watch movies so you wouldn't have to, or would it be to give hidden gems the attention that we thought they truly deserved? Perhaps it would be all of the above. But you know what wasn't on the mind of one the cohosts? Do you know what thought was never present in this man's mind all those years ago? That not only would he watch one movie named Munchie, that he would be subjected to its sequel. Never in a million years did he expect to watch anything with Munchie in the title, yet here we are, 250 episodes later with Munchie Strikes Back. What kind of a world is this? What kind of a movie is this? Perhaps you should consult the greek titan Chronus, evidently he knows a lot. Unlike the first movie, Munchie Strikes Back expands on "Munchie lore"- something this cohost, again, could never predict happening. But as we find out in this film, Munchie is behind several horrible occurrences on this Earth, why not add another episode of this show to the list? Fucking Munchie.
Last week on the podcast we found a movie that not only tortured us, but it also broke us as human beings. Mr. Boogedy is somehow remembered so fondly and loved by many who saw it as youths, yet we here at the B Movie Breakdown wish it had never been made. So, after witnessing such an abomination we have decided that the next logical step is to truly dig our own graves for your entertainment by discussing none other than Bride Of Boogedy.
From After School Specials to the Disney Sunday Night Movie, this week we dive into the world of TV movies; which were a huge deal in the 70's, 80's, and 90's. Disney seemed to perfect the family friendly type of tv movie, making some that people still love today. Well, Mr. Boogedy seems to be one of them and we just cannot understand why. Mr. Boogedy is only 45 minutes long and it literally broke us more than any other garbage movie we have watched in the past. If you want to torture yourself, you can find Mr. Boogedy in full on YouTube. You have been warned.
Welcome to our first ever After School Special episode and boy did we pick the perfect one to start with. Originally airing on October 23, 1987 as part of the ABC Afterschool Special, The Day My Kid Went Punk tells the tale of eenage musician Terry, who hopes to distinguish himself from "the crowd", by becoming a punk rocker. Please let us know what you thought of this episode on social media or our email, as we plan to do plenty more of these in the future!
About 220 episodes ago we discovered Feature Films For Families with The Buttercream Gang and now Feature Films For Families has graced this show with its presence yet again by bringing us 1988's On Our Own. Feature Films For Families does here for orphans what they did for gang problems of the 90's with The Buttercream Gang, which is to say not very much. Just like TBCG, we highly recommend checking out On Our Own in full on YouTube; the ending is definitely one that will have you scratching your head for days.
Ben Archer is not happy! His mother, Sandy, has taken things to the next level with her new boyfriend, Jack, by allowing him to move in! Driven by pure anger and a fear of abandonment, Ben will try anything and everything to pop the "love bubble" which surrounds his mom and Jack. However, with the help of the YMCA Indian Guides and a group of mobsters, Ben and Jack become much closer.
How many movies feature two inventor brothers who create a working sentient robot that is also inhabited by the spirit of their dead father? The answer is one, one single movie oddly titled 'And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird!' Other questions you have might include; why does a movie about a dead robodad have that title? Are their parents really THAT weird? How did the dad die? Is the robot voiced by lovable tv dad Alan Thicke? And does he recite the line "Yoko loko for my cocoa"? All of these questions and more are answered throughout this episode.
A Gnome Named Gnorm (with a hard 'G') is a film that seeped its way into the minds of many children growing up in the 90's. It's a rare film that most never saw, but those who did remember it forever and can't stop thinking about it. It's a true phenomenon that secretly created sleeper cells for the past 29 years and now thanks to us and the powers that be at Amazon, we can continue the tradition of burrowing this fascinating film into the minds of millions.
Almost 210 years after these United States declared its independence from the monarch of Britain, Anthony Michael Hall declared his independence from being type cast as the typical 80s comedy nerd in this weeks movie Out Of Bounds. And thanks to Ben Dietels, from the Neon Brainiacs podcast, we were able to discuss and celebrate this wonderful film on the dawn of our 243rd Independence Day!
This week's film features the story of a vacationing family who come across a Little Bigfoot (that they name Bilbo) and its mother in the woods. The family soon realize that their new furry friends are in grave danger due to a local logging mogul who has sent out his workers out to kill them. While they try everything they can to protect them, we try everything we can to forget the scene of Bilbo being stuck in a bear trap.
This film contains footage obtained by top secret government agencies, yet somehow it is available on Amazon Prime for your viewing "pleasure." As aliens attempt to decimate Earth using brainwashed humans to attack those still unaffected, three college students are out testing an advanced mech-bot. Surrounded by these alien proxies, they only have their robot for defense. But will it be enough? Listen and find out as we discuss the Bumblebee mockbuster known as Hornet!
It's not so rare to find a movie that is a complete rip off of another movie, but it is rare to find a movie that is not only a complete rip off but also 2 totally separate movies smashed together to create that rip off. And that brings us to this week's movie, Robo Vampire. In a futuristic experiment, agent Tom Wilde is returned to life as an Android Robot after being shot and killed. Once rebooted, he is sent on a very dangerous mission into the depths of the Golder Triangle to rescue Sophie, a beautiful undercover agent who has been captured by the evil drug warlord Mr. Young and his inhuman creation the Vampire Beast.
One year ago on this very podcast, we were introduced to 90's female action star Cynthia Rothrock and now we make return to her extensive filmography with the 1993 film Honor And Glory. Rothrock plays FBI agent Tracy Pride, who is on a mission to capture evil businessman Jason Slade. With the help of her sister Joyce, a news reporter; Dragon, her partner in Hong Kong, and Jake, a bodyguard who worked for Slade, they must stop Slade before it's too late!
We round out our month long Sequel-A-Thon with one of the most notoriously bad sequels of all time: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. Coming off the heels of two solid hits and riding the mega wave that was TMNT, you would think the Turtles franchise could do no wrong. Well, someone felt the need to introduce time travel, do away with any familiar bad guys, and truly send the Turtles down the toilet and into the sewers for years to come.
The Sequel-A-Thon keeps chugging a long through the month of May and this week it makes a stop in the "wonderful" land of Oz. In her Return To Oz, Dorothy discovers that the Emerald City is in ruins and we discover that the first 22 minutes of this movie is more messed up than we remember. This trip to Oz is much darker and bizarre than the last go around, featuring various frightening enemies, characters, and quests Dorothy must contend with if she hopes to return to Kansas. BEWARE THE WHEELERS!
*WARNING SPOILERS* Since we are in the midst of a month long Sequel-A-Thon, we absolutely could not ignore the biggest sequel of all time: Avengers: Endgame. We know it's not a "B-Movie" by any standards, but since we spent the past 10 years of our lives inside the Marvel Cinematic Universe there was no way we could ignore it. Not only do we dive deep into the entire MCU, but we also get into the Netflix side of the MCU as well. So if you haven't seen any of those shows and still want to, you have been warned of spoilers for those as well.
We continue our Sequel-A-Thon with a special guest, Sir Dan, joining us this week to discuss Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II. It may have an absurd title and be an absurd movie, but it's absurd in all of the best ways possible. We kid you not, this movie is actually worth watching and we strongly recommend you do so on Amazon Prime Video. We are also well aware that HDTGM just did this on their podcast, but we had no idea that was going to be a thing at the time we decided on doing this film and are in no way trying to ride their coattails. We can't help we have the same great taste in movies.
This month on the podcast it's our very own sequel-a-thon, as we are watching nothing but, well, sequels. We kick off our sequel-a-thon with the pure ripe perfection that is Return Of The Killer Tomatoes! Set ten years after the events of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (referred to as the "Great Tomato War"), the United States is once again safe, and tomatoes have been outlawed. However, trouble returns as the dastardly Professor Gangreen and his assistant Igor seek to unleash yet another wave of tomato terror.
We here at B Movie Breakdown don't always get to discuss movies as well made and serious as Nona. Don't get us wrong, we love all of the bad and awesomely bad movies we watch on here, but it's a breath of fresh air to watch something so moving. This week we had the pleasure of watching Michael Polish’s multi-winning drama, ‘Nona’, starring Kate Bosworth and Sulem Calderon. Touching on illegal immigration and human trafficking, ‘Nona’ showcases the unbound limits a young girl is willing to go for freedom.
This week we are discussing not one, but two movies! That's right folks, it's an April You Call It Double Feature! We continue down our path of movies created by those who have contact the show with two short films. In our first film, Nicholas Michael Jacobs gives us a glimpse into the darker side of web camming in Night; which is available on Amazon Prime Video. And in our second film, Al Lougher shows us the lengths a family will go to in order to bring back their lost son with The Dollmaker; which is available on the Alter YouTube channel.
All across the country, a new drug is taking over the streets, coating them in blood, vomit, and other less savory fluids. Spunk’s Not Dead, and it never will be unless we spread the word. From an innocent babysitter who takes her first hit of spunk to longtime spunk junkies, this drug is turning the world upside down. Only you can stop the White Menace! The best defense is education, and the six eye-opening stories in this anthology will make sure that you stay off spunk for the rest of your life. Special thanks to friend of the show Zach Carter, the genius behind The Unquenchable Thirst for Beau Nerjoose (discussed in Episode 166) and The Devil's Spunk in this week's film, for sharing this with us.
THE PRINCIPAL, starring Jim Belushi, is an overlooked vigilante origin story. It's as simple as that. Rick Latimer is a worn down, out of luck drunk who isn't good at his job and just lost his wife. Little does Rick know, his life is about to get a swift kick in the ass when he is assigned to be THE PRINCIPAL at the worst school in the district: Brendell High. Brendell is where they send all the burnouts, criminals, and rejects from all of the other schools, needless to say Rick has his hands full. Not only does Rick have the perfect backstory, but he also has everything a start up vigilante needs: a vigilante name, a custom vehicle and helmet with that name on it, a signature weapon, and a sidekick who even has his own backstory. Now all we need is to see more adventures of The PRINCIPAL.
When inspiration struck during last weeks episode, we had no idea it would lead us to a VHS transfer of our new favorite Christmas movie courtesy of Amazon Prime Video. In Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe, Jesse "The Body" Ventura acts and narrates his journey to hunt down fellow "finder" Secundus before he can discover the solution the Anti-Life Equation! It's Abraxas Vs Secundus in the ultimate no holds barred match in the arena we know as Earth!
It's time for the B Movie Breakdown and The Reversal to finally cross streams and what better way than with an over the top short film that leads into an even more absurd and grueling wrestling match! This week on the podcast(s) not only are we discussing WCW's The White Castle Of Fear mini movie from 1993, but we are also going beyond the film and into the match that follows: Sting Vs Vader in a White Castle Of Fear Strap Match from WCW Superbrawl III. This is a perfect crossover episode for B Movie and wrestling fans alike! If you have the WWE Network, both the mini movie and match are available on there, otherwise at the very least the mini movie is available on YouTube.
When three kids, that's right kids, are murdered by a local gang, the friendly neighborhood Hatiian voodoo priest re-animates their shrunken heads to exact revenge. But when complications arise between one of the heads and his former "girlfriend" things don't go exactly as planned. Thanks to one stinky listener, we watched the 1994 Full Moon Features film Shrunken Heads and boy was it something else for sure. We have definitely never seen anything quite like this before.
From the writer of Alien and director of Poltergeist comes the sci-fi epic of a lifetime known as Lifeforce, in which the female lead is a naked space vampire. But these space vampires aren't your typical vampires and their rules continuously change as the characters keeps assuming or guessing them as the movie goes. Oh and to make things even more chaotic, there's also zombies and giant demon creatures.
Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, Svengoolie, and so many other horror hosts shaped our childhood, but only Elvira had her very own feature length film aptly titled Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark. If you are wondering, can a horror host such as Elvira really carry an entire movie? The answer is YES! This is an excellent concoction of campy fun, sex appeal, and comedy all wrapped up into that famous low cut black gown.
After these messages, we'll be right back! Corey and Nick are taking a week off from the podcast world, but will be back next week with an all new episode in which they will be discussing Elvira Mistress Of The Dark!
It's been a while since we've discussed a solid slasher on this podcast, let alone a killer kid movie. Well, this week we travel back to 1976 to take a look at Alice Sweet Alice, an underrated slasher from the dawn of the genre. Taking place in the 1960s, an unsociable young girl is suspected of killing her younger sister during her first communion, as well as a series of stabbings that follow. But is a twelve year old girl really capable of such brutality?
It's not every day we come across a film that packs grotesque sexual horror, stimulating social commentary, and a journey through psychosis all in equal measure. Well, 1989's Society does just that. This savage horror satire culminates in one of the most insane climaxes in all of horror history. We highly recommend you watch this movie on Amazon Prime Video before listening to this episode.
When Spike, a salesmen from HVTV, comes to offer a free trial of a satellite TV package with 666 channels of pure entertainment, Roy Knable just can't resist. Little does Roy know, he just sold his soul to the devil and his family is in for one wild ride! That's right folks, this week on the podcast we go on an adventure with Knable's in the highly underrated film Stay Tuned from 1992.
In a post-apocalyptic future, the Soviets have invaded the USA with an army of super human soldiers that are half-man and half-shark. This sounds right up our alley, right? Believe it or not, it is and isn't all at the same time. Confusing? Well, you will just have to listen to find out exactly what we thought of Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark.
Some movies are so nice, that studios just can't help but make them twice; thus we have the dreaded remake. They can offer filmmakers the opportunity to carry out a unique vision to new audiences while still showing the up most respect to the original story. And then you have remakes like Death Wish. Remakes that just exist. That when it's all said and done and the credits roll you say "Welp, that was a movie." This is not the Paul Kersey and Death Wish we love, this is just Bruce Willis and Eli Roth getting a paycheck from a remake that was caught in development hell.
Not only did we make it through 2018, but we have also finally made it through the entire Death Wish series starring Charles Bronson. This week we close out our journey with Paul Kersey in Death Wish V: The Face Of Death. Paul is back to his old ways in a satisfying final installment that didn't leave a bitter taste in our mouths like Death Wish 4: The Crack down did. ***It should also be noted that during some tangents in this episode there are spoilers for The Christmas Chronicles and Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom.***
Well we all knew after the chaos that was Death Wish 3, that nothing could truly deliver at that level and we were right. Death Wish 4: The Crackdown not only gives us a mediocre story, but it also gives us a sloppy Paul Kersey. Once he starts being hired to kill, it was the beginning of the end. Also, this movie features two scenes with the WORST stand in dummies we have ever seen on film.
In Death Wish 1 and 2 Paul Kersey was a broken man out to rid the world of muggers and those who destroyed his family. Now, in Death Wish 3, Paul Kersey is back in the New York groove, armed to the teeth, and completely out of control, as this film provides one of the most chaotic finales in the history of film.
He's made his list and checked it twice; he already knows who's naughty or nice. Paul Kersey is coming to town and that town happens to be Los Angeles circa 1982. If you thought things couldn't get any worse for Paul you thought wrong because this time around things are taken to the next level. This time he isn't out for random muggers, this time it's pure revenge.
It's Deathmas time here on the B Movie Breakdown and that means a visit from jolly old Paul Kersey. This week we start our deep dive on the Death Wish series with the original from 1974 starring none other than Charles Bronson. Vigilante, city style -- judge, jury, and executioner.
Barbarian month comes to an end with big hair, big guns, big personalities, and a serious lack of wardrobe in Phoenix The Warrior. This post-apocalyptic barbarian film features fierce women who leave little to the imagination as they battle each other in various junkyards and desert settings to determine the fate of the entire world.
This week in the good ol' US of A it's Thanksgiving, so we here at the B Movie Breakdown decided to provide a half episode to get you through the holidays. In this half shake, we discuss Alien 3 and catch up on some recent movies and TV shows we've seen. We will be back next week with a full episode to close out our month as Barbarian Movie Breakdown with the 1987 film Phoenix: The Warrior.
We knew when we wanted to do a month of Barbarian Movie Breakdown that we would run into at least one film that would scream #MeToo. Well, Deathstalker definitely breaks the bank with the most #MeToo moments of them all. In this 1983 barbarian classic, a warrior named Deathstalker (yes that's his name) is tasked by an old witch to obtain and unite the three powers of creation before the evil magician Munkar can get them and use them for nefarious purposes.
We've teased it in the past and now it's finally time to transform B Movie Breakdown into Barbarian Movie Breakdown for the entire month of November. The year is 2021 AD. Women have been enslaved by a brutal army of men who survived the nuclear holocaust. Their only hope for freedom is in the hands of a nomadic band of fierce she-warriors: The Sisterhood!
We close out our full month of all new horror films, in celebration of Halloween, with Slaughter Drive. This film was sent to us by writer/director/actor Ben Dietels, of the podcast Neon Brainiacs, and follows a failed filmmaker as he leaves his video camera in a local park overnight and accidentally records something horrific. To top it off it might have something to do with his new neighbors that moved into his quiet suburban neighborhood.
WARNING: This episode contains spoilers for Halloween (2018). Continuing our theme of all new horror movies for the month of October, this week we went to the cinema to see the brand new HALLOWEEN. Does this film stand tall as the best sequel to the original Halloween or does it just fall short along with the other mediocre sequels of the past? You'll just have to listen to the episode to find out.
This week on the podcast we discuss a movie that is far too good for this show. Yet another absolutely fantastic brand new horror movie that many people might not even be aware of. Summer Of 84 is a true horror gem from the masterminds behind Turbo Kid, a film that takes the serial killer film and takes it to the next level. It’s rare that two weeks in a row we give the movie we watched such praise, but when you have such quality such as this it’s hard not to.
This week all hell has broken loosemduring our October horror-a-thon as we witnessed a bloody killing spree motivated by an evil as old as time in Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich. This is easily one of the best horror films we have seen in a long time and hope after listening to this episode everyone experiences it for themselves.
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? ARE THOSE PROPELLORS ON A SEVERED HEAD? IS THIS A HORROR MOVIE? A CHRISTMAS MOVIE? A MOVIE AT ALL? These questions and more will invade your mind if you ever have the opportunity to experience Camp Death 3 in 2D. A wacky, bizarre, unnerving, disturbing, sometimes hilarious but often times expectation shattering feature that you are absolutely not ready for. Part parody, part tragedy, get ready to have an emotional breakdown in this B Movie Breakdown as we emerge ourselves in the world of director Matt Frame's cinematic catastrophe.
What happens when your lead actor demands to be paid $8 million dollars, does $10,000 worth of coke a week, and has an affair with one of his co-stars? You get the 1994 video game movie classic Street Fighter, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Raúl Juliá. While most people put this movie down, we couldn't help but show it the praise it truly deserves. From Raúl Juliá's amazing performance as M. Bison to the wonderful character arc of Zangief, this movie offers way more than people give it credit for.
It’s rare that you watch a movie that seems as if it could be an original idea and then halfway through becomes a clone of a current box office hit. Well that’s what happened in this week’s movie, the 1993 Moon Beam Entertainment classic Remote; which evolves into a crappy Home Alone clone when it could have easily just been it’s own thing. Oddly enough, this film shares two villains from Prehysteria!, the film discussed in last week’s episode, but is not related to it in any way even though it’s the same production company behind both films.
This week in our month of pure nostalgia, we went on an adventure 65 million years in the making to discuss the dinosaur classic Prehysteria! The dinosaur film that shaped our childhoods more than any other dinosaur film on the 1990’s. When a young boy and his family discover some mysterious eggs, which hatch to reveal a brood of baby dinosaurs, the real adventure truly begins. Brought to you by Cool Guy Coolers.
This week begins a month of pure nostalgia on the podcast. And before we dive too far back into our youth, we have decided to time travel exactly one year ago when we discussed Miami Connection. This movie holds a special place in our hearts here on this podcast, so much so that we have decided, exactly one year later, to yet again revisit Miami Connection and introduce it to some new blood yet again. Last year was Nick's first experience with Miami Connection and this year past guest Pat Lorky joins us for a 2nd annual viewing of a B Movie masterpiece. If you haven't seen this movie, please do yourself a favor and check it out.
ERASER is a forgotten Schwarzenegger gem that has sadly been ERASED from the memories of most. If the memory hasn't been completely ERASED, then usually people only remember the CGI alligators and this being a "bad" Arnold movie. But maybe their memories have been ERASED and replaced with cynical snobby thoughts, because ERASER is actually a solid action flick full of explosions, conspiracies, twists, turns, and plenty of classic Arnold quotes to keep you entertained throughout.
Summer is coming to an end which means it's back to school with the B Movie Breakdown, as we discuss Kindergarten Cop 2! That's right folks, the sequel no one ever wanted to the beloved Arnold Schwarzenegger classic but this time starring Dolph Lundgren and Bill Bellamy. Grab your backpacks and lunchboxes because school is back in session!
Well folks, we made it to 200 episodes and it took this long to finally visit a movie that trumps Mac & Me in being the worst E.T. rip off of all time. Most people tend to forget all about MUNCHIE, until they see his stupid ugly face with Dom DeLuise's voice spewing out of it and then remember why they forgot in the first place. Not only is this movie often forgotten, but it is also forgotten that this is actually a "sequel" to the film Munchies; sequel being used in the loosest sense possible. If you too would like to enjoy MUNCHIE you can find it in full on YouTube at the moment and then on bluray this coming November courtesy of Shout Factory.
Last week, Waxwork provided us with a look inside a window to a world of endless possibilities when it comes to a sequel. Hell, we even discussed the possibilities of how a Waxwork television series would work so well based solely off the first movie. Well folks, Waxwork II took that window and slammed it right in our faces. Maybe someone out there can tell us what happened with this sequel and what was even going on.
When a waxwork museum and a mysterious man appear out of nowhere to invite you and your friends to come to a special showing, you totally go right? Little did you know that once inside, the exhibits come alive and the viewer is sucked into the story being portrayed! This sounds like that would probably be the entire movie, but this one took us by surprise and offered so much more!
It took 197 episodes but we have finally broken the record for most #WYTO moments in one movie. There were so many in this weeks movie that we couldn’t even keep up with the count. Unfortunately most of these #WYTO moments were more on the forced side than the hey lets have a good time side. Barbarian Queen was exactly what we thought it would be, nothing more and nothing less all packed into an hour and ten minutes.
Well folks, it’s been a while since we watch a true piece of garbage movie but we just couldn’t stay away. It’s not like the poster or trailer for this movie didn’t already give us plenty of warning signs, we knew what we were getting into. If you have seen every Kaiju style monster movie and just need to see one more….spare yourself the torture and don’t watch Reptilian (aka Yonggary) on Amazon Prime Video.
When monster babies are on a holiday. They don’t know any words to say. All the things that come to you. And they wanna feel it too. On an island in the sun. They’ll be murdering and having fun. And it makes them feel so fine, they can’t control their brains. Hip hip.
This week on the podcast it's the ultimate debate: do we kill these monster babies or do we let them live as one of us? Which side do our hosts take? Answers to these questions and more as we discuss the sequel to It's Alive, It Lives Again aka It's Alive 2! Subscribe, Rate, & Review On Apple Podc.... This item has files of the following types: Archive BitTorrent, Columbia Peaks, JPEG Thumb, Metadata, Ogg Vorbis, PNG, Spectrogram, VBR MP3
In anticipation of Nick being out of town, we recorded a little half episode to keep the content flowing. In this half shake, we discuss E3 2018, video game movies, E.T. ripoffs and so much more. We will back with a full episode next week continuing our deep dive into the IT’S ALIVE trilogy!
Frank and Lenore Davis are headed to the hospital for the birth of their second child — which turns out to be a mutant who kills many doctors and nurses as it escapes. Convinced his monstrous son must be destroyed, Frank ignores Lenore’s plea and tries to destroy the freakish offspring, unaware that the infant may be the innocent product of an experimental drug gone wrong. This is the ONE film you should NOT see alone.
This week we look at the past to get a glimpse towards the future. A B Movie classic that shows us that putting robots in charge is fine. It’s all fine. Nothing to worry about. Chopping Mall is ready to rock your world.
For two guys who do a B Movie podcast, it’s rare to come by a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie we haven’t seen. But leave it to our faithful listeners to find such a movie and a very weird one at that. Just as JCVD started losing some steam with duds like Double Team and Universal Soldier: The Return, he starred in one of his first direct to video features, Inferno (aka Desert Heat). This is not only a very weird movie that starts off with a very serious tone and ends up being a comedy of sorts, but it also has Pat Morita spew out a line I never thought I would hear him say.
Little did we know that when we watched Martial Law last week we would be in store for a sequel even more action packed than the first one. If there was ever a movie that was literally a side scrolling beat ’em up video game, then this movie would definitely be it. Do yourself a favor and check out both of these awesome 90’s action flicks if you have Amazon Prime.
If this weeks movie, Martial Law, gave us anything, it was introducing us to 90’s straight to video action babe Cynthia Rothrock. Not only does she steal the show in this film, but she kicks plenty of ass while doing so. Maybe her on screen boyfriend, Sean, could have shined more if he spent more time kicking ass and less time trying to prove how tough he was. Also, David Carradine gives a stellar performance proving once again how truly underrated he was as an actor.
This week on the podcast, Corey digs up a favorite from his youth that he felt was so far forgotten it was worthy of the B Movie label. That forgotten favorite just so happens to be the 1996 Judd Apatow comedy Celtic Pride starring Daniel Stern, Dan Aykroyd and Damon Wayans. What will happen when two obsessed Celtic fans kidnap their opponent’s star player in order to guarantee their team the NBA championship? Tune in to this weeks episode to find out!
If you know anything about the CIA, you are already more knowledgeable than anyone who made this movie. Imagine playing “guns” or cops & robbers with your friends as a kid. You don’t know the difference between the police, FBI and CIA. Then you sit down in your room later that day and write an idea for a movie in your journal. Later in life you find that old journal and decide to make that movie come to life. This is that movie and the juice is loose.
A movie truly deserving of a cult following that has yet to find one, the Granny satisfies in ways you never thought it could. Excrutiating family drama is turned on its head when when a possessed grandmother comes back from the dead and executes her own breed of excruciating revenge on those who wronged her, and those who helped her! Curses, undead monsters, shotguns and babes, The Granny is a movie any horror fan should experience.
We were recently reminded of a podcast favorite when director Luca Bercovici contacted us in regards to Episode 18 of the podcast, in which we discussed the 1990 rock romantic comedy Rockula! Being reminded of this wonderful gem reminded us of two things: Nick has never seen this movie and it was recently released on blu-ray courtesy of Scream Factory. With such wonderful weirdness and a plethora of “WTF!” moments, this is one still remains one of our absolute favorites to breakdown. Get ready, because this movie is going to rock you…la!
Tune in this week for one wild ride. Crazy kids. Ambiguous ghosts. Deranged mothers, a fiery car crash and a drunk whose face is ripped clean off. This week’s movie is a listener suggestion, we really DO watch what you suggest. So grab your creepy doll, check yourself in to a nut house and get pumped for Cathy’s Curse.
Rounding out the Darkman trilogy is Darkman III: Die Darkman Die, a movie that honestly should have been the second film of the 3 instead of the last. Saving Durant’s return for the final movie would have been a much better reveal and this movie would have provided some insight as to what Darkman was up to in between II and III. Regardless, this is yet another great entry in to the Darkman series, proving once again how good the concept and movies really are. If you haven’t seen any of the Darkman films, we highly recommend you go check them out.
How does one survive a helicopter crash in which the helicopter smashes into the side of a bridge? What antics has Darkman been up to in the past 4 years? And how the hell does Darkman speak so well without having any lips?!? We attempt to answer these questions and more as we discuss Darkman II: The Return Of Durant. *Spoiler Warning* During a tangent, for those who have yet to see it, we give out some slight spoilers for Thor: Ragnarok; it is mentioned before it happens.
Before superhero movies reigned supreme at the box office, they were few and far between. Most are either fondly remembered or the butt of a joke, but one definitely remains forgotten…until now. That forgotten film happens to be Sam Raimi’s Darkman starring Liam Neeson and Frances McDormand. An original and out of control superhero film with that Sam Rami flair, deserving of more attention.
For whatever reason, ever since Hellbound: Hellraiser II, no one knows how to get this series right. Some entries in this series present good ideas, but with poor execution and no true understanding of the cenobites and the puzzlebox. Hellraiser: Judgment is no exception to this rule. It gives us a great new cenobite named The Auditor and introduces the Archangel Jophiel into the mix as well, but overall is just a boring crime thriller with a lackluster twist at the end. Maybe one day somebody will get Hellraiser right, but until then we will have to deal with these direct to video let downs.
Get ready for sex, babes and rock ‘n roll with another listener requested film this week, as well as the conclusion of the very very small streak of special guests while Nick is off working on a super secret special project. In this episode, Corey is joined by frequent guest Cody to discuss the 1990 film Ghoul School. When two “thugs” in search of hidden treasure accidentally unleash a chemical into the school’s water supply, everyone who comes into contact with it turns into flesh-eating ghouls!
Yet another listener requested film this week and also the start of a very very small streak of special guests while Nick is off working on a super secret special project. In this episode, Corey is joined by his lovely wife Kailee to discuss the 2007 horror film Dead Silence directed by James Wan. Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children only dolls. And if you see her in your dreams, be sure you never, ever scream.
We totally forgot that in this inspiring, action-packed story of a rag-tag team of young soccer players are some serious issues; including illegals and dead beat dads. But those hurdles won’t get in the way of The Big Green! With the help of their new teacher and the local sheriff, this soccer team restores their small town’s former glory when they go all-out and beat the odds of winning the state championship.
If The Suckling taught us one thing, it’s that humans are the real monsters. We are pretty sure while teaching us that, it tried really hard to also push a pro-life agenda in the midst of a mediocre horror movie. Set in a whorehouse / make-shift abortion clinic; a young woman reluctantly gets an abortion, only to have her aborted fetus become mutated and attack her, her boyfriend, and everyone else at the “clinic”.
There is always one movie every year that, when you see the trailer, you find it hard to believe it is actually being released in theaters. In 2017, that film was most definitely Geostorm starring Gerard Butler. From the second we saw the trailer for this movie, we just knew it had to be discussed on the podcast and that time has finally come. It’s a race against the clock for us to uncover if this movie is really as bad as it looked or if it’s just your average cookie cutter disaster movie that could have been better if they shaved about 30 minutes off of it.
This week on the podcast we end our unexpectedly enjoyable deep dive in the Psycho series with Psycho IV: The Beginning. Norman Bates is out of the mental ward yet again and wouldn’t you know the ol’ psycho ended up getting married, to his psychiatrist of all people. Well just like before, Norman is starting to crack but it isn’t Mother this go around as there is something else driving him to one more murder. And when you’re a murderer on the verge of killing, what better to do than call into a radio show discussing “Mother Killers” and spill the beans on your life growing up. Who knew Norma Bates was so hot?
After the events of Psycho II, poor Norman Bates has seemed to have lost his mind yet again. He was mentally pulled in so many different directions that this was bound to happen; he never even had a chance to be normal again. And now that Mother is in full force, no one who checks into the Bates Motel stands a chance.
This week we are joined by not only one, but two guests as we take a deep dive into the, fan voted for, Psycho series. Yes, that’s right, there is in fact a sequel to the 1960 Alfred Hitchcock classic; three sequels to be exact. And since we figured there really is nothing more to say about the original Psycho that hasn’t already been said, we decided to jump ahead 22 years with Psycho II. So join us and our guests, Cody Wyoming and ‘The Ultimate Accuser” Pat, in welcoming back Norman Bates to the Bates Motel.
How many times can you remember enjoying an entire movie and, just when you are waiting for the epic showdown and resolution for the heroes, the movie stops with no ending whatsoever? Your answer would probably be zero, because most movies have some sort of ending. Well this weeks movie was very enjoyable, until it decided to do just that; not have a god damn ending! Instead of imagining our frustration, why not enjoy listening to in this weeks episode.
We kick off 2018 with what we believe will become a new holiday cult classic in the coming years. This overlooked holiday horror gem is quite demented and extremely smart. Think of it as Home Alone meets American Psycho turned up to 11. We weren’t sure what to expect, but when it was all said and done, we loved the end result. If there was one thing we took away from this flick, it’s that the world has far too many Luke’s in it.
In our goal to bring you more conversations and more content, we’ve gone through our secret archives yet again to find a wonderful Christmas present for all you good boys and girls. With our Christmas special spectacular concluded, we figured we’d release an old discussion focusing on one of our favorite Christmas specials of all time, A Muppet Family Christmas. We will be back next Wednesday to kick off 2018 in true B Movie Breakdown fashion. Thank you to all of our listeners for all of the support over this past year, we look forward to an even better year for the podcast in 2018.
Pac-Man and his family must help an alien named Santa Claus get back on his feet to continue his deliveries to the children of his own dimension on Christmas Eve after a terrible crash landing in PacLand. Get ready to CHOMP your teeth into this 1982 Hanna-Barbera prime time Christmas special before you too run out of power pellets!
For some reason during the peak of the TMNT popularity, someone thought it was a totally tubular idea to have them sing. First came The Coming Out Of Our Shells Tour video and surprisingly it was a huge hit with kids, ourselves included. We remember many of those songs to this very day. Then came two more videos that well…are the reason we don’t always need all of our favorite characters to sing. One of which we will get to another time and the other is We Wish You A Turtle Christmas. Get ready to deck the halls with pepperoni because you too can watch it on YouTube.
In 1991, Family Home Entertainment (f.h.e.) was riding high, releasing VHS tape after VHS tape for all of our favorite cartoons. We remember seeing that infamous f.h.e. logo so much that it was burned into our tiny brains forever. Little did we know at this same time f.h.e. put out one of the worst and most f’d up Christmas specials of all time, featuring one of the most evil characters to ever exist…Mrs. Mavilda. We highly recommend you check this one out on YouTube here before you listen to the episode, so you can truly know how insane this movie is.
This is the tale of Ron and he is having a really bad day. His wife left him. He gave a hobo the last of his toilet paper and he shit his pants! All on the 20th anniversary of his mother going crazy and getting sent to the looney bin! After shoving a mushroom up his butt and tripping balls, Ron discovers the secrets of the universe involving space-nuns, booty-worms, tittie-maggots and the ultimate cause of all his problems: the unconscionable Dr. Beau Nerjoose! This film is definitely “NOT YOUR AVERAGE DICK AND BALLS MUSICAL.”
Would you construct an entire science fair presentation around a dinosaur bone? Would you then use the dinosaur bone to prove the earth was created in a week? If so, you’ll be able to relate to this movie!
Angels are the Warriors of the Lord. Soldiers of God. They have leveled Sodom and Gomorrah. Told Mary she would be the mother of Christ. Fallen from grace to rule hell. This week, a group of angels drops to Earth to…help a California baseball team win the pennant. This is Angels in the Outfield. Danny Glover embraces orphans in this goofy Disney gem.
Met with mixed reviews at the box office, 2017’s the Mummy is surprisingly enjoyable. Tom Cruise delivers a decent performance playing a terrible person, and while the movie DOES try to do several things… it’s not a complete disaster? It exposes the audience to a universe that, if given the chance, could grow into something pretty sweet.
Wolf is a movie that begins as a behind the scenes thriller involving the takeover of a publishing house and ends with an epic werewolf battle between three fantastic actors. Obviously everything is more nuanced than that, but by taking us out of the world of realism and launching us in to a world where wolfmen exist, the viewer is allowed to appreciate everything the movie presents. The publishing setting makes sense when you realize the movie’s co-screenwriter was renowned poet and author Jim Harrison. A true example of writing what you know and running with it, Wolf grounds itself only to unleash it’s bestial intent at its climax. A great movie and a great way to end our 31 Days of Horror.
The good son is a movie that excells in truly setting the bar in regards to sociopaths. It could be argued that this is what happens when someone, child or adult, but having that person be a minor adds that extra level of horror, is too self obsessed and intelligent for their own good. Left to his own devices, Henry is able to twist and turn his world in to his own personal playground. If he wasn’t so obsessed with murder I’m sure with his family’s business ties he would have been a successful hedge fund manager…or the President of the United States.
Today on the podcast we continue our October horrorthon with 1992’s Dr. Giggles! This town has a doctor and his name is Rendell. Stay away from his house, ’cause he’s a doctor from hell. He chopped up his patients, every last one. And cut out their hearts purely for fun. So if you’re from Moorehigh and you should get sick, then fall on your knees and pray you die quick. The key lesson here folks, is don’t go chasing nursery rhymes…or waterfalls.
This week we bring you one of the oddest entries in Wes Craven’s filmography, 1991’s The People Under The Stairs. Continuing our month of horror, we once again have friend of the show and frequent guest, Cody, on to discuss the misadventures of Fool and his super weird run in with Mommy and Daddy. This film has that great level of suspense and horror we expect from Wes Craven with a nice dash of b movie level wackiness straight out of a Troma movie. In every neighborhood there is one house that adults whisper about and children cross the street to avoid…..get ready to step inside.
What better way to kick off our full month of horror movies than with a film from the guy who directed The Exorcist. In 1990’s The Guardian, a young couple with a newborn baby who don’t realize that the nanny they hired is a magical nymph who sacrifices infants to an evil tree. I mean do we really have to tell you anymore than that?
Bigfoot The Movie. If you see this title scrolling through Amazon Prime Video and skip it, you will be making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. You would also be missing out on one of the Top 3 Bigfoot movies of all time. Jared Show and the rest of the gang over at JS Pictures have something special on their hands with this one and we hope that our show can help spread the word on their super fun film, Bigfoot The Movie. You can find it streaming on Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, YouTube, Google Play, Vimeo or you can buy it on DVD at www.bigfootthemovie.com.
Has anyone ACTUALLY seen this movie? Seriously. After watching the first one we came to learn that pretty much anyone who knew about or had seen the first film, had no idea there was ever a sequel. And if they did know there was some sort of sequel, they sure as hell never watched it and good for them. You know why? Because why watch a movie that builds over 90 minutes for it to not show you the climax and just go right to the very end…..like what the hell.
An accident puts the consciousness of Coleman, an elderly dream researcher, into the body of Bobby, a bratty teenager. The problem? Bobby prefers dreamworld limbo over his real life. Now Coleman, as Bobby, must figure out how to get his old body back before it is too late, not to mention the body of his wife whose consciousness is trapped in Bobby’s secret crush. Yes, this is a movie starring the two Corey’s and it’s not just a generic teen comedy, but it’s in fact a body switch comedy taken to the next level.
This is a movie as perfect as it could get. For some movies the mold breaks after they are made. There could never be another. Not truly. Miami Connection is a film that excels at being amazing, terrible and sincere at the same time. If you like ninjas, blood, and over protective brothers, sit back and enjoy.
After watching Robot Jox last week, you know how pumped and invested we were in every aspect of the future political landscape it presented. So naturally, you can imagine how excited we were to watch it’s “sequel” Crash And Burn. What starts off as a political sci-fi film, quickly turns into a sci-fi thriller, and ultimately turns into a straight up horror film; all of which really had nothing to do with Robot Jox, except for a giant robot being featured during the climax of the film. Most of the time such a loose connection ends up being a bad thing, but this still ended up being a fun watch.
This episode we address an overlooked classic. A movie a head of its time yet wouldn’t be the same if it was made in any other era. In a podcast favorite setting, post apocalyptic Earth, two rival factions face off for dominance over contested territories. In a world where war is outlawed, the Confederation and the Market compete in giant robot battles to win their control. Robot Jox is an incredible ride. If you like testosterone, espionage, murder and robots, this is a movie (and podcast) you can’t miss.
This week it’s all about time as we take you to a house possessed by an evil clock. This week we take you to the year 1992. This week we take you to the sixth movie in the Amityville franchise, Amityville 1992: It’s About Time. Is this the horror version of the Room? Is it common to bring your boyfriend over to the house where you used to live with a previous boyfriend as he still lives there? Was it really that rough being a reclusive goth kid in the 1990s? Come with us as we dissect this and more in today’s ground breaking episode.
For 150 episodes you’ve followed us through post apocalyptic futures, other dimensions, and hell itself. Now meet the Dungeonmaster and come with us on our journey through his varying dungeons. Conveniently, each dungeon serves as a crash course in topics and settings that this podcast loves to address. Super intelligent robots. Monster battles. Devil characters. It’s all here. So listen to us get down on a RAGE WAR in 1984’s The Dungeonmaster.
In our goal to bring you more conversations and more content, we’ve gone through our secret archives to find conversations that would still be relevant today and/or act as time capsules, showing how we felt about specific topics at the times they were current. You’ll still get normal episodes every week, but once in a while you’ll get a bonus episode in between them. With our Thorn trilogy concluded, we figured we’d release an old discussion focusing on our favorite horror movies that ends with a brief summary of Rob Zombie’s Halloween. Come back this Wednesday, for our monumental 150 episode where we discuss 1984’s The Dungeonmaster.
This week we end our deep dive into the Thorn Trilogy of the Halloween series and have many of our lingering questions answered. Questions such as: Why is it called the Thorn Trilogy? Who is the man in black? What is his deal? Is Jamie ok? What have other members of the Strode family been to? What ever happened to little Tommy Doyle from the first Halloween? And why is there a ‘producer’s cut’ of this movie?
Things get even weirder as we find out that Jaime can’t talk due to her extreme killer instincts that closed out part 4. She was also hospitalized after trying to kill her step-mom as well. Michael escaped his demise by floating down a river and being mended by a redneck living in a shack with a parrot. The Thorn Trilogy carries on in Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers.
It’s been years since Haddonfield has been ravaged by Michael Meyers. This small Illinois town is again the focus of his attention, as Michael hunts for the niece he never knew he had. Laurie is dead and some moron transporting Michael to a different hospital (recovering from wounds he suffered at the hands of his arch nemesis, Dr. Loomis ten years earlier) drops the ball and mentions she is a thing he can kill. Because when within earshot of a man whose only purpose is kill his family sure, go ahead and mention he has another one. Great idea, asshole.
It’s that time of year again, time to take a little trip to Summer camp. This year we decided to visit Camp Blackfoot and boy did it bring back some memories from our years at Summer camp as kids. Like when Jason Alexander had hair and when we decided to play a prank on the camp caretaker. Sadly, that prank ended up burning him alive, leaving him disfigured beyond belief, and sent him on a murderous rampage of revenge. Oh how fun Summer camp was.
This sucks but dinosaurs are never bad. Movies that pretend to have cowboys in them are. If only someone could let us in on the joke, it would make all the difference. As is, this movie is a return to misery. Enjoy!
Transformers: The Last Knight. The fifth in a series about robots, history and the indulgences of a man who never could resist beautiful women, crude jokes and explosions. You ever have so much sensory input and then try putting that experience into words? With the debris still settling, this is that conversation.
Tonight brings to a close our viewing of the Critterverse, a franchise nickname not given lightly. All four of these movies do the once rare feat of establishing a universe ripe with potential. While the first three movies focus primarily on Earth, this fourth movie takes us back to space where it all began, but also to the future. 52 years in the future! What is masterful about this movie is that it is not cheesy or overtly goofy, and gives us a great science fiction experience that has no right to exist. Learning about the changes during the 52 year gap creates a craving for more movies set in this universe. Monsters. Creatures. Galactic counsels and interstellar corporations. Bounty hunters and betrayal. It has everything you could ask for, except maybe more critter carnage, but what can you do. Join us as we follow former drunk turned Crite killer Charlie in his last adventure.
We continue our journey through the Critterverse with the third film in the Critters franchise, aptly titled Critters 3. Not only does this film continue the story of the lovable Charlie, but it was also the feature film debut of Academy Award winner Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s right, a pre-Growing Pains little Leo helps Charlie take on the Critters this time around in a great installment to the series, that strategically sets up the fourth and final film with an interesting during credits sequence.
We have finally decided to re-visit the Critterverse with a much anticipated look at Critters 2. This film is a rarity, where in the sequel is just as good, if not better than, the first film. This time around the Critters are back for the main course, which just so happens to be the entire town of Grover’s Bend. Little do the Crites know, the High Council is well aware of the eggs left on Earth; sending bounty hunters Charlie, Ug, and Lee back to Earth to take them out once and for all.
We told you if you leave them, we will watch them and that is just what we did! This week’s movie, These Final Hours, was suggested by fan of the show Jordan VanWormer via his iTunes review and what a great suggestion it was. Here at B Movie Breakdown we love us a good end of the world, apocalypse movie and this no exception. If you are interested, it is available on Netflix and is definitely worth a watch. Thanks again Jordan for the awesome movie suggestion!
This week on the podcast we revisit a modern day classic, 2011’s Manborg! Count Draculon and his HELL army seek to take over Earth during the HELL WARS. One final brave soldier attempts to take on the Count but is unsuccessful. Years later that same soldier is transformed into Manborg and activated in Mega-Death City. With the help of his new friends Justice, Mina, & #1 Man; Manborg must destroy Count Draculon and The Baron once and for all!!
This week we watched the 1984 film The Ice Pirates and honestly it was kind of hard to write any sort of description for this episode. The film had a lot of great ideas that it just couldn’t execute, which made for a pretty boring movie. The poster made it look super cool and absurd in all the right ways, but it just fell flat. It also had a hard time making up it’s mind if it wanted to be serious or silly. If you grew up loving this movie, we’d love to hear your thoughts because it just didn’t do much for us at all. Also, friend of the show and past guest Cody joined us for this harrowing journey.
Teen comedies were huge in the 80’s and most are considered classics to this day, but none were quite like The Last American Virgin from 1982. It’s like a cross between Porky’s, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and Pretty In Pink, but with a really dark and depressing final 20 minutes. And unlike most of the fore mentioned films, no one in this one really learns any sort of lesson whatsoever. They just go on being even shittier, sluttier, and neckbeardier, if thats a word, than they were before.
This week we watched the WWE Studios film The Marine 5: Battleground starring some of our favorite WWE superstars; including The Miz, Maryse, Naomi, Health Slater, Curtis Axel, and Bo Dallas. We talked a lot about this film. We had a lot of laughs. We had our friend Cody join us for a special appearance. We had a great time recording an episode….then after about an hour and twenty minutes we realized technology had failed us and the episode didn’t record. So there will forever be a lost episode of B Movie Breakdown and in it’s place is a summation of the events that happened in that lost episode. We apologize for our flop.
Gripping the world by storm we review the hottest franchise in recent cinema memory. It’s has crazy characters, an acting legend, espionage, and sweet cars. Well trucks, actually. This movie is fast and it sure is furious. It takes car chases to a whole new level. Without a doubt I am talking about Monster Trucks. Did you think I was describing something else?
It’s rare when a character in a movie steals your heart, especially when you want to hate that movie, but we just couldn’t help but fall in love with the main character of Big Man On Campus from 1989. Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga, that’s 1 Malooga with 4 looga’s, was an unexpectedly funny and lovable hunchback that saved this movie. And mind you, this is a movie with little to no plot whatsoever. It’s your typical late 80s/early 90s college comedy, but seasoned comedy writer Allan Katz clearly had been developing the character of Bob for years in order to one day bring him to life. I guess we should also mention that Nick was absent this week, so Corey was joined by former guest Kenneth from Episode 115.
Beach Ball Mania is running wild! This week we hit the waves and wrestle with issues like excessive sun exposure, Rick Flair taking beach front property from a bunch of meat heads, and properly applying sunblock. We watched Season 6 Episode 15 of Baywatch entitled “Bash At The Beach,” starring the superstars of WCW (circa 1996). We get off with the Hoff in a post Wrestlemania ultimate thrill ride. You can watch this episode of Baywatch in full right here.
We thought it would be a fun idea to get everyone in the mood for Wrestlemania by watching a movie starring some of our favorite WWE superstars. But after watching this week’s movie we literally felt like our minds and souls travelled deep down a literal river of darkness. A river where WWE Hall Of Famer to be Kurt Angle has the acting skills of a robot. A river where WCW’s Glacier is the best actor in a movie. A river where the main character just asks a series of questions throughout that ultimately get him nowhere. A river where any sort of plot this movie could have had all happens within the last five minutes and you wish you had the last hour and twenty minutes of your life back. Now if that isn’t a river of darkness, then we don’t know what is.
In case you were wondering, this week’s movie is not about Seth Rollins’ upcoming Wrestlemania match against Triple H. In fact it really has nothing to do with wrestling whatsoever, but it does have a homeless Ice-T being hunted by the likes of Rutger Hauer, Charles S. Dutton, John C. McGinley, and Gary Busey. And if you’re on the fence about this one, just imagine a post motorcycle accident Busey telling the most intense story about fighting his dog to the death. It’s impossible to not love that scene.
This week we bring a a quick half episode with Corey flying solo while Cyborg Nick is temporarily out of commission. But don’t worry, as he will be fully rebooted just in time for Episode 131 where we will discuss Surviving The Game from 1994. In this halfsie, Corey gives some brief thoughts on a few recent and not so recent movies he saw over the past weekend. We will be back with a brand new full episode next week!
This week on we lose our minds with the 1988 film Brain Damage from the director of Basket Case. In the film, average guy named Brian, who lives in New York City, becomes dependent on an evil, disembodied creature named Alymer. Alymer feeds Brian a narcotic substance in exchange for his unwilling assistance in obtaining the brains of innocent victims for sustenance. If you couldn’t tell, this movie is one giant allegory for drug addiction and a bloody one at that. We highly recommend checking this one out, for sure.
Technocrat world invaded by imperial forces wanting to bring their way of life to a planet that wanted to live in peace or an oppressed people transformed into machines by a dominating queen only to be set free by the king of pop and his crew of rhythm spreading patriots? Pick your narrative. We carry on with our fortnight of Michael Jackson with Captain EO. A George Lucas scribed, Coppola directed 80’s space spectacle.
Those of you who have seen this film know exactly why we chose it and those of you who haven’t seen this film are probably wondering why we chose to do a Michael Jackson music video movie. The thing is, it is so much more than just music videos. Sure it starts out that way, but when halfway through he is being gunned down by terrorist organization [SPIDER] run by Mr. Big (played by Joe Pesci) and transforming into a car it explains exactly why we watched this movie for the podcast. The film also inspired an absurd arcade and SEGA Genesis video game that may be more infamous that the film itself.
Deep in the swamps of Florida dwells a creature so awe inspiring, so monumental, so…horny, when we heard about it we could not look away. Do you like low budget brutality, clever/terrible jokes, ape dick and a message around nature preservation and native American oppression? Then this is the movie for you. Did I mention ape dick? Yes. Yes I did. We rarely tackle films this close to their release date, as most b movies are relics of a time long gone or things so insignificant we missed them when they debuted-but not this week’s focus, 2017’s Swamp Ape, a welcomed addition to the fold of movies so terribly absurd you can’t help but adore them. Remember the ape dick. Never forget.
Our movie this week is regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. It is a product of it’s time, reminding us of other 90’s comedy classics such as The Pest and Blankman. It also fits under the “CTA” umbrella we’ve talked about recently on the podcast. But is it really all that bad? Did it win us over in the end? Is it not ok to just enjoy a stupid, whacky comedy from time to time? All of these important questions and more are answered throughout this episode. This review was inspired by Bijan Amin.
If you’ve been listening to the podcast you know we’ve been hyping this episode. There has been something ready to pounce. Something lurking behind us. Something biting at our heels. Something ready…to attack! This week we tackle Attack of the Killer Shrews brought to you by White Lion Studios, who were gracious enough to give us a sneak peek of their horror movie extravaganza. When Lloyd Kaufman graces the screen before the movie kicks off you know you are in store for one wild ride. You can buy a copy of Attack Of The Killer Shrews on DVD over at www.killershrewmovie.com.
This brings our Jason-A-Thon to a close. Our favorite post apocolyptic future where Earth has been ravaged by a changing climate (naturally occurring I’M SURE) where before the world fell apart Jason was left frozen in the Crystal Lake Research Facility (C.L.R.F.). Watching these movies has been a wild journey and one that truly finishes out of this world.
Today the episode goes to hell and this week so does everything else, including Jason. Much like how people view this Friday, it feels as if the Jason we knew is no longer the same. Someone just didn’t get the concept of Jason and decided to totally overhaul and destroy everything that made him fantastic. But Jason didn’t need changes. Not drastic ones. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t broken. No reason to throw everything about him out the window. Watching older Jason movies gave me hope the franchise was going to good places, but in actuality there is nothing great about Jason in this movie at all. Jason couldn’t be made great again because he was already great.
Manhattan. Full of toxic sludge. Manhattan. Where gang members shoot you up with heroin and try to sexually assault you. Manhattan. Where previously mentioned toxic sludge fills the underbelly of the city at midnight because that’s a thing that happens. Manhattan. The Big Apple. Manhattan. The city that never sleeps. Manhattan. New York. The city…that is about to be brought to its knees thanks to a machete wielding maniac from camp crystal lake after he hitches a ride on two boats because where exactly is camp crystal lake again? Doesn’t matter. Manhattan is ripe for the taking and Jason is going to treat it like two Slavic hookers on a queen size bed-wet, messy and best left up your imagination.
If this movie was called Jason Takes A Boat To Manhattan I think history would treat it more appropriately, as the movie could always use more Manhattan but it’s still a welcomed edition to the Friday the 13th Franchise.
It’s a new year and its time for some new blood. The Jason train is plowing through the new year and the kills keep coming. Back from the dead, thanks to Tina and her freakiness-crystal lake’s favorite boy is ready to rage. This perfect 1999 period piece, made in 1988, is everything you need to bring in 2017. Try to think of a better way to party this new year. You can’t.
Jason lives. What better Christmas movie is there to end out December-oh shit, forget about December, there’s no better way to send 2016 out to pasture than with a grueling gash from Jason’s machete. In a year full of surprise, intrigue, desperation and disgust – closing it out with the resurrection of Mr. Voorhees is oddly appropriate. Like a brutal monster brought back from the dead, 2016 reminded us that horrible things hide in plain sight. If this movie teaches us anything, even if your obsession or your apathy contributed to the destruction that filled the past year, it teaches that you can always be a Tommy. If you fuck up, you can always redeem yourself and be a better person by sending the hockey mask wearing redneck to the bottom of camp crystal lake with a ridiculous fucking chain.
Also, because it’s topical and we saw them play a month ago, check out the band The Jason’s. They’re great.
This is the season. The season of family. The season of giving. The season of life. The season of…Life..day. We guess. If you are a Wookie on Wookie Planet? We forget what that world is called but honestly, who gives a shit? We care as much about that as we do the individuals responsible for giving the go ahead to George Lucas’s worst idea this side of Tatooine. Oh is that a nerd we hear crying that his name isn’t credited? Maybe he shouldn’t be trash talked for this, but we need some explanation for why the star wars holiday special is as excruciating as it is.
(Experimented with a change in format, didn't last long) This week we discuss some recent HUGE movie trailers, wrestlers in movies (side tracked into straight WWE talk), comics, The Walking Dead, and so much more! We are also joined by special guest Nickname Nick (aka Nick 2) in discussing what we watched this week, such as Krampus, Yoga Hosers, Fast & Furious 6, and Supernatural.
(Experimented with a change in format, didn't last long) This week we have decided to enrich our format by discussing several movie concepts and movies we have watched throughout this past week. Remakes and reboots aplenty. We get in to Nick’s feelings on Star Trek Beyond and Corey dives into the b-documentaries; Raiders! The Story Of The Greatest Fan Film Ever Made and Man Vs. Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler.
This week we bring you the long promised halfsie we mentioned a couple of weeks ago. We are aware we said that we would be rounding out November with one last movie from 1986, but with the recent holiday things got a little harder to get in a full movie episode. So in order for us to still bring you content, we recorded this half episode to fill that void. In this episode we discuss bad movies with great trailers, who funded the New Order, and so much more. Do you enjoy these half episodes? Is it more fun when we don’t JUST discuss a single movie? Please tell us in the comments, on twitter, or on facebook.
Some say it’s hot. Some say it’s reckless. Some even say it’s totally insane. But we can all agree that it is in fact Thrashin’. In 1986 only one rivalry truly mattered, The Ramp Locals vs The Daggers. The Ramp Locals just wanted to have some summer fun skating around and scooping up the ladies, but Corey Webster, leader of The Ramp Locals, scooped up the wrong one. Chrissy just so happens to be the sister of Tommy Hook, badass leader of The Daggers. After very little plot and an endless amount of montages, will Corey Webster win the race and finally get the girl of his dreams?
It’s 2016 and celebrity millionaire / ex-reality show host Donald Trump is now the President of The United States. A man who, in 1986, was just a celebrity millionaire rebuilding an long-closed ice skating rink in New York. 1986 was a simpler time and just like 2016 it had it’s fair share of questionable events. To this day, the release of Howard The Duck was one of those events. But who would have thought a movie this “bad” would ever bring us joy when we needed it most. When we watched it we were surprised at how much we enjoyed it. It’s a crazy, balls out absurd movie, that a viewing population could not appreciate at the time. It’s reviled. It’s disgusted. Most don’t care about it. But it’s a charming and unique film that deserves way more credit. It was more fun than we expected. We probably won’t feel this way about Donald Trump 30 years from now. Howard T. Duck 2020.
Today’s talk revolves around the 1986 Eddie Murphy movie The Golden Child. It is extraordinary. Demons. Magic. Snake women. A bad ass babe. Fucked up henchmen. It’s a wonder this movie got made considering the subject matter and it made SO MUCH MONEY. Times were simpler in 1986, and that train of thought takes us down some great nostalgia talks; a tour of our youths and a nice divergence into the history behind it.
Dolph Lundgren is a legend. A hero. A true cinema gem. He’s done many works that one would consider art. This movie is a mixed bag. It is awesome and yet boring. Absurd and yet dull. Phenomenal and yet stereotypically average. It’s a movie that comes in many shades and breaks many genres, but the only thing you need to know, is that it comes in peace. Or else you’ll come in pieces, asshole. If you like brain drugs and aliens that look like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, then this was made just for you.
If camping, killing, and “transexual lunatics” are things your life craves, then have we watched the movie for you. And no, “transexual lunatic” is not a term we support or endorse but it was used to advertise the god damn movie on the back of its box. Like, what the hell? We’ve reviewed Sleep Away Camp twice before, but never it’s sequel! Now is the time. Horror month has brought us to Camp Rolling Hills and it’s time to watch Angela, the Angel of Death, kill everyone. Literally. Everyone. Except that one girl, but really she probably died off screen anyways.
Did you ever want to know what Lilo and Stitch would be like if it was Rated R? Hey! You are in luck. Do you want to see a town drunk get over served and believe his teeth receive messages from space? Hey! You are in luck. Do you want to see some of the worst bounty hunters in movie history? This week our journey returns us to space and then sends us back to earth. Time to get hungry as we gorge ourselves on some Critter madness.
Since Halloween is now upon us, we have decided to dedicate the entire month of October to nothing but horror movies. We kick off our horror movie marathon with the 1999 film VIRUS starring non other than the scream queen herself, Jamie Lee Curtis. When a typhoon cripples their boat, the crew of the Sea Star sails into the eye of the storm, where they discover a high-tech Russian communications and research vessel adrift. Only one Russian crew member is still alive, raving about “intelligent lightning.” They soon discover that an alien life form has taken over the ship’s computers, churning out mechanical insects and cyborg warriors. With their own boat destroyed, the crew must battle the alien life form and escape as the ship reenters the storm.
You ever hype up something to be the best thing ever and it turns out to be the opposite? Like the exact opposite? Like it couldn’t be further from the truth? Something that leaves such a bad taste in your mouth you start to wonder what it all means? What is the meaning of life? What is a cyborg? What is a DNA child? Is Cyborg America even that bad? Maybe we’re better off being ruled by machines. Maybe we don’t deserve free will after someone’s lead to Nemesis 2. Maybe cyborg dominance is what we deserve. Contemplate all these questions and more in the final installment of Nemesis month. Yes. Two movies. That’s all you get.
Did you like our little half shake last week? Good, since its time to tackle some pretty high end philosophical questions this go round, such as:
What makes a human a human? What makes us special? Is it our compassion? Our greed? Our lack of cybernetic implants and synthetic organs? Welcome to Nemesis, a movie that attempts to address these issues in the most ham fisted fashion possible while bullets fly and everything explodes. The cyborgs have been oppressed by humans, because that’s how we roll, and they’re out to even the score, but only one man stands in their way. A man, that may or may not be a man at all. Is our hero more man than machine, or more machine than man? Does it matter? Does any of this matter? Find out today or the LAPD is gonna get your ass.
We’ve taken a few breaks throughout the course of this podcast, and it’s always been something we traditionally hate doing. Denying you our company is a grievous action, and we understand that. You want more Corey and Nick and we don’t blame you. I mean, of course you do.
This week is how we rectify that occasional problem. We’re introducing a new format, the half episode. Normally we focus on one film and go to down. This week we focus on a topic and let the conversation go from there. So while there is not a movie for this week, in a way there are several. Today’s half episode topic is traditionally hated sequels that we untraditionally adore. So sit back and relax. This is episode 107.5.
Some say stab wounds are the best kind of wounds, but those people haven’t seen Exit Wounds starring Steven Seagal and DMX. That’s right X is gonna give it to ya right in the face with his fresh Lugz boots on, while running his multi-million dollar website where you can buy anything for $9.99 or less. Then use that money to trick crooked cops into thinking you are a drug dealer, with your best friend who runs a night club, just to possibly get your brother out of jail. Little does X know that he will have a run in with reckless cop Orin Boyd, who just so happens to go to anger management with Detroit AM tv star Henry Wayne. Remember that club owner we mentioned? Well he absolutely loves Henry Wayne! And after everything is said, the best friend club owner and Henry Wayne become co-hosts of Detroit AM and we get to see their wonderful dynamic throughout the credits. So if you’re wondering if in the end do the main characters really even matter, the answer is not really.
Live fast. Die young. Go to hell. Come back from the dead. Avenge your daughter. Have lots of sex and kill lots of people. I don’t understand why America didn’t embrace this concept more more than it did. Maybe it was Nicholas Cage exhaustion. Maybe its because the character is only different from Ghost Rider in the details. I don’t know. All I know is that Drive Angry is way better then anyone gives it credit for and by the time it ended I was already writing the pilot to a tv show that would never happen in my mind. If you like sex, beer, murder, demons, heaven, hell, cult leaders, sex, murder, murder and sex you’ll love this movie.
The book of revelations is fill with vivid imagery, glorious prophecy and messages that can shine a light on the issues of the day. Religious or not, anyone can recognize it’s historical significance and it’s effect of modern christianity and modern western society. That being said, Left Behind starring Nicolas Cage is a piece of garbage we’ve already spent too much time talking about it and we only intend to talk about it for this sentence. Now listen to our podcast where we talk about this film and give it the scorn and ridicule it truly deserves.
Uncovering ancient history can be a challenge. Modern scholars, relying on information left behind by our ancestors; be it writings, infrastructure, artifacts, etc… (if they left anything behind at all) decipher these puzzle pieces, in an attempt to assemble a coherent narrative that best describes the culture in which they are studying. As I said, some civilizations leave behind a plethora of information, while others leave behind but a trace of their existence at all. Luckily for you and I, some ancient Greek, most likely named Jim, shadowed the great Hercules and documented his most epic battles, thereby giving us a perfect manuscript detailing actual historical fact, that the beloved people at Cannon films turned into not one, but two glorious films! Today, we discuss the real life adventures of a real life historical figure as he battles real life historical gods and kings in the real life movie The Adventures of Hercules. Its a rare feat to watch history brought to the screen in
What would you do if you could live your life over? What would you do if you could change every mistake you ever made? What would you do if your grandpa was part of a time travel cult?
Would you still marry your psycho husband or would you have sex with the local communist? Peggy Sue had to answer all of these questions and then some in today’s episode, where we discuss the Francis Ford Coppola (hmm what else has he directed, I can’t place it…) film, Peggie Sue Got Married.
Are you a cat person? Then you should watch this movie.
Are you a fan of conservation efforts and saving endangered species? Then you should watch this movie.
Are you a psychopath who wants to see a family of five try to survive living in a house also occupied by multiple lions, tigers, cheetahs and panthers OR a movie in which 70 cast and crew members were legitimately injured by said lions, tigers, cheetahs and panthers?
Then you should watch this movie.
Luckily for you, you don’t necessarily HAVE to. We’ve got your back. The movie Roar is something that has never happened before and will never happen again. Watching it is as unsettling as you may expect. It is a visual extravaganza of things that should not exist. Download or subscribe below and hear us tear into this juicy mess of madness and we discuss the perfect party movie.
Fan4tastic is something to behold. Its impressive at how boring and incoherent it truly is. Anecdotal, of course, but I haven’t seen anyone online or in real life defending anything about it. Even the live action Super Mario Brothers has its proponents, of which I am one, if that tells you anything about the kind of movies I am more than willing to enjoy. That film is a masterpiece, but I’m getting off topic. This movie has no fans, it has no one thinking its an underrated gem, it has no one glad it exists. I’m not saying people who don’t like it are sheep, I’m saying that because NO ONE LIKES IT. It brings no one any happiness, only despair. I wanted to like it so I could be a contrary hipsterian (is that a word?) but I could not. It is impossible. In a world where people like all sorts of horrible things, no one likes this movie.
We have reached a milestone here at B Movie Breakdown, the epic Episode 100 and boy do we have a movie for you. This week we watched the Cannon Films classic Invasion U.S.A. starring the forever badass Chuck Norris! It’s surprising we have never done a Chuck Norris movie before, but this movie was well worth the wait. Retired CIA agent Matt Hunter is forced back into the business when a villain from his past re-emerges. Soviet Mikhail Rostov, a terrorist whom Matt once caught, wants to exact revenge. After failing to find Matt at his Everglades home, Rostov and his army of Communist guerrillas begin carrying out terrorist acts all over southern Florida. Millions of innocent lives are at risk, and it’s up to MattHunter to take them down!
On our journey to Episode 100 of the podcast, we hit a major bump in the road this week with My Pet Montser (A Live-Action Video Cassette). Some of you may remember this movie, but more of you most likely remember the plush doll it was based on or the short lived animated series. For a movie based on a plush doll, it does take some major strides to make sure the monster looks nothing like it, but also not really focus on the monster all that much in the first place. I could tell you this movie is about a boy named Max who gets turned into a monster while starring at a cartoonish statue all because he didn’t eat, but I would only be telling you half the truth. The majority of this movie seems to focus on Max’s brother and his uppity girlfriends show dog. Regardless, the movie is quite absurd and leaves you with a plethora of questions never to be answered. You can watch the movie in full via YouTube.
After yet another long absence, the B Movie Breakdown has returned and with an all new co-host! Past guest Nick now joins the podcast as a full time co-host with forever permanent co-host Corey. For our first episode in 6 months, we have decided to tackle the big VR craze with the 1995 action classic Virtuosity starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. The Law Enforcement Technology Advancement Centre (LETAC) has developed SID version 6.7: a Sadistic, Intelligent, and Dangerous virtual reality entity which is synthesized from the personalities of more than 150 serial killers. LETAC would like to train police officers by putting them in VR with SID, but they must prove the concept by using prisoners as test subjects. One such prisoner is ex-cop Parker Barnes. When SID manages to inject his personality into a nano-machine android, it appears that Barnes might be the only one who can stop him.
Welcome to a world where Ninjas are magical, V8 juice is a sex symbol, and even the lowliest cop is somehow a cigar-chewing pimp. That’s right folks, this week we watched Ninja III The Domination, the final film in the Cannon Ninja Trilogy. This movie was very misleading, right from the title. Ninja III: The Possession would’ve been far more appropriate. Essentially the film was about an evil ninja slaughtering scores of good guy cops, but the filmmakers certainly portrayed the cops as shady and likely corrupt through most of the movie only for you to realize at the end that they were never deserving of their fate. Sorry little Suzy, daddy’s getting a closed-casket funeral because he died in a helicopter crash. And look out for those aerobics class rape gangs! You remember what a problem they were in the 80s, right? No wonder everybody’s switched to DDP Yoga.
This week we continue our journey in the Cannon Ninja trilogy with Revenge Of The Ninja! This one is actually much better than the first and still holds up as a solid ninja action movie. This actually stars the bad ninja from Enter The Ninja, but this time in the role of the hero instead. Why this couldn’t just continue the story of Cole from the first movie? We have no idea! After his family is killed in Japan by ninjas, Cho and his son Kane come to America to start a new life. He opens a doll shop but is unwittingly importing heroin in the dolls. When he finds out that his friend has betrayed him, Cho must prepare for the ultimate battle he has ever been involved in.
Ninjitsu, the darkest and deadliest of all the Martial Arts. Ninjitsu, a film genre that swept the nation in the early 80’s only to fade in the mid 90’s. So this week on the podcast we have the movie that is credited for starting this craze, 1981’s Enter The Ninja. As noted on last week, this is a true gem in the Cannon Film library. We’ve actually dove head first into the Cannon Film library way back on Episode 18 with Rockula and then again on Episode 32 with Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. We highly recommend watching the Cannon Films documentary that just hit Netflix, Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story Of Cannon Films, to see just how insane this production company actually was. It will give you a much better insight on how movies like this week’s Enter The Ninja came to life.
With Thanksgiving happening tomorrow here in the U.S., we here at B Movie Breakdown have searched the depths of the interweb to find an true Thanksgiving cult classic. The movie we speak of is the 1983/1987 horror film Blood Rage, starring…well starring basically know one that ever did anything else. Blood Rage tells the tale of twin brothers Todd & Terry, one of which has a mega bloodlust. Terry blames his murder on Todd, Todd goes to the nuthouse for 10 years, it’s Thanksgiving 10 years later, and Todd escapes. So when your brother you blamed our murders on escapes, what do you do? Well, you start murdering everyone you’ve got to know of the last 10 years. It seems we have a thing here on the podcast for killer kid movies. What can we say, they are just so absurd we just can’t stay away.
In our second week back, we remain a twosome as we dive into the 80’s extreme sports classic Gleaming The Cube. In the late 80’s and early 90’s extreme sports movies were all over, whether it was BMX in RAD or rollerblading in Airbourne these movies were hard to escape. But it took Christian Slater and Tony Hawk being involved to incorporate a murder investigation into a skateboarding movie. We still may not know exactly what Gleaming The Cube means after watching this movie, but we sure feel like we gleamed it really good. Brian Kelly’s (Slater) adopted brother is killed when he discovers that the shop he works in sends weapons to Vietnam instead of medication. To the police it looks like suicide, but Brian skates off to investigate the murder to discover the truth.
After almost a year hiatus, the B Movie Breakdown is back in action! That’s right folks, this isn’t some crazy dream, this is actually a brand new episode of the podcast. It was never any intention to take such a long break in podcasting, but life happens and that’s something we cannot help. Back is Corey, along with new co-host Sam, to break down the best of the worst the world of B Movies has to offer. Former co-host DRC will also be back, but sadly not until episode 94. So this week we are watching Ross Patterson’s new movie Helen Keller Vs Nightwolves. As you may remember from past episodes, we have covered two of Patterson’s other absurd and over the top films. In yet another masterpiece by St. James St. James, this film explores the true story that government didn’t want you to know about how Helen Keller really lost her eyesight and hearing: Nightwolves.
It seems we have come across a movie that brought us back to the roots of what this podcast is truly about; the best of the worst and that’s exactly what this movie is. This week we discuss the 1990 “sci-fi” “action” movie Legion Of Iron, but what it should really be called is Legion Of Rape. For a movie about battling to the death, for reasons we still aren’t sure of, there happens to be a lot of non-consensual sex involved. The film centers around high school football star Billy Hamilton and his girlfriend Allyson who get kidnapped when out for a night at Lover’s Lane. Kidnapped by who you ask? Well they are kidnapped by Queen Diana and her minions of course. Who the hell is Queen Diana? We sure don’t know, but we do know that she forces Billy to become a gladiator in death-matches which are bet on by jaded millionaires. Meanwhile, the facility’s guards use Allyson for their sexual pleasure. Will they escape the random fortress in the middle of the desert?
For now, we are at the end of our run with Mr. Voorhees here at B Movie Breakdown and we wanted to go out on top. We may one day revisit the terror of Camp Crystal Lake, but for now we must move on to bigger and better things. This week we end our journey with Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, which happened to be all of our favorite of the series. Once it starts it never stops going, it’s a faced paced high octane roller coaster of murder…how could it possibly be bad? Jason is back to life after years of absence and that shitty copy cat killer. Tommy Jarvis wants to make sure Jason is dead and burns in hell for what he has done, but when you stab a dead body with a metal rod in the middle of a storm it just might get reanimated. The newly reanimated Jason is stronger, faster, and more brutal than ever as the gore and body count is at an all time high. Can Tommy stop Jason once and for all? Find out on Episode 90 of B Movie Breakdown.
We are still staying on track with our Friday The 13th Marathon and this week we are on Part V: A New Beginning. Last time we saw Jason he was…well he was super dead. In fact he was being chopped up, with a machete, by young Tommy Jarvis. Well, now we catch up with Tommy some years later after he has been tossed around from home to home still troubled by the events of that very night. He ends up at a halfway house for troubled teens and from here the madness ensues. Someone starts picking off people in the area and house one by one and it seems to be Jason, but wait he’s dead it can’t be Jason! Or is it the deranged Tommy, who’s been consumed by the memory of Jason and just can’t take it anymore? Nah! It’s Roy, the medic from the beginning of the movie dressed as Jason, whose son died early on at the hands of one of the other teens. But we didn’t even know that was his son until the end and you only see Roy for like 2 seconds…
This week we continue our journey into the twisted mind of Jason Voorhees as we discuss the 4th installment in this series, Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter. Yeah, we know…Final Chapter and yet there are like 6 more of these bad boys to go. Well, when you have a character like Jason, who is a money making machine, why stop when the money is hot. And the money was hot this time around because this installment made more than any of the first three movies. We last left Jason with an axe with in his head laying on the floor of a barn. Well the police and paramedics arrived to haul off the body (and other bodies) back to the morgue. But little did they know, Jason wasn’t quite all the way dead and is ready for more! This is one of our favorites of the series, not only for the gruesome death at the end but also for the supreme acting my a young Corey Feldman as Tommy Jarvis.
This week on the podcast we discover a new dimension of terror with the next movie in the journey of Jason Voorhees. He survived the machete to the should from Part II and is on the run attempting to heal in a barn near by. But it just some happens that the barn is also part of someones lake house, a lake house that Chris and her friends are visiting for the summer. Because you know when you hear about murders in the area and the killer still on the loose, it’s a good idea to not cancel the trip. Well, you can assume what happens next. Jason doesn’t like people coming to his woods, especially when hurt, so the body count continues. From general store owners and bikers to Chris and her group of silly friends, no one is safe. Oh! And this just so happens to be THE movie where Jason obtains his iconic hockey mask, courtesy of the always loveable Shelly.
This week marks the beginning of our descent into the warped and twisted mind of one of the biggest horror icons of all time, Jason Voorhees. And what better way to kick this multi-month tribute off, than with the first movie where he was the central character. We figured starting with Part II was more true to Jason than starting with Part I. The first one has been talked about to death and as we all know Jason is only mentioned and in fact not the killer. In Friday The 13th Part II the body count continues with, a now 33-ish, Jason out for blood after witnessing his mothers death 5 years prior. So when a group of twenty somethings start up a Camp Counselor Training Center nearby Camp Crystal Lake, now deemed Camp Blood, Jason will not stand for these youths disturbing his peace. I mean his little shack in the woods did look pretty damn cozy and peaceful, especially when you’re running around with a bag on your head.
Well this week is more of a mini-sode than a full episode, so we decided to make it 85.5 instead of the full 86. While we had mentioned discussing Critters on our next episode, after some strong consideration we are going to old off on those creepy crawly little guys for now and instead focus on another icon of horror. The Summer is slowly coming to an end and in comes the Fall season. With the Fall season comes our favorite holiday here at the B Movie Breakdown, that holiday happens to be Halloween! So since Halloween is about 10 weeks away we have decided to dedicate the next 9 episodes of the podcast to a true horror icon. An icon who slashed his way to top in the 1980’s and continues to have an impact today. The icon we are going to be paying tribute to is none other than Jason Voorhees. Now instead of starting with the very first Friday The 13th, which has been discussed over and over again throughout the years, we have decided to start with Part II.
On this episode of B Movie Breakdown we discuss, for the first time on the podcast, a film by none other than the kings of B Movies, Troma! It’s a pretty obvious choice when doing a B Movie podcast to just cover any number of their insane movies and we held off from the obvious for far too long. Now instead of going with the other obvious choice of Toxic Avenger, we went with another hero in the Troma universe. That’s right folks this week we discuss the 1990 action comedy Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. This is yet another one of Lloyd Kaufman’s true masterpieces, but for some reason isn’t talked about as much as Toxie or even Tromeo & Juliet. In this Troma Team Release, Detective Harry Griswald becomes possessed with the spirit of an ancient Kabuki master that gives him the powers to become Kabukiman! This has made him ‘the chosen one’ to do battle with ‘the evil one’. Does Kabukiman prevail in the end?
This week special guest Kailee sits in for Gina & Ryan to discuss the 1985 high school rom-com .Just One Of The Guys. Terry Griffith has it all — looks, popularity, the perfect college boyfriend, and an article that’s a “shoe-in” to win her a summer internship at the local newspaper… or so she thinks. When Terry’s journalism teacher passes her article up in favor of a couple of pieces written by boys, Terry is convinced that sexism is to blame. Determined to win the internship at any cost, Terry goes undercover at a rival high school to resubmit her article… as a boy!
Welcome back to an all new episode of you’re favorite podcast, B Movie Breakdown! Yes, we are back from our short (unannounced) summer hiatus. We didn’t think it would be as long as it was, but hey shit happens. Anyways, we are back with a brand spankin’ new episode for you and do we have a doozie. Actually it’s a doozie we have done in the past, but since it’s summer time we felt it was a MUST to revisit it. The film we speak of is 1983’s summer horror classic, Sleepaway Camp! With the movie getting a recent blu ray re-release from Scream Factory (Shour Factory), we couldn’t have picked a better time to do it. If you’ve never seen this movie before, it is a must see for all horror fans. While it follows and sets many horror summer camp tropes; nothing, and we mean NOTHING, can prepare you for the surprise ending that will sear itself into your memory for the rest of your life.
Yet again we have decided to cover an 80’s cult classic and this time a personal favorite of co-host Corey. Now this came about due to the fact that Gina & Ryan have never seen this movie before and sadly seems to be a common trend. While a lot of people have seen this true gem of the 80’s, there are a lot more people who haven’t. So in an attempt to bring more awareness to it’s greatness we have decided to discuss none other than 1987’s ‘The Monster Squad.’ The film is centered around a group of young kids who form a club that is devoted to monsters. They soon get more than they bargained for when Count Dracula, accompanied by Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and the Gillman, is in search of a powerful amulet that will grant them power to rule the world. The Monster Squad are the only ones daring to stand in their way.