The Worst Movies We Own

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the ice cream sundae rather than the horny sister, they spook the 2.6* rated on Letterboxd Prom Night III. They discuss Mary Lou’s return, cat interruptions, loser protagonists and whether this would work better as porn. "Contrary to popular belief, there is a hell, and you're standing in it.” Enjoy the pod if not the threequel.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the spontaneous combustion rather than the bluebottle infestation, they haunt the 2.2* rated on Letterboxd Amityville 3-D. They discuss Meg Ryan’s debut, hole goblins, good deaths and the size of Natalie’s head. "I just bought the house, not the ghost.” Enjoy the pod if not the threequel.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the old Hollywood glamour rather than the American Pie cover, they give birth to the 2.0* rated on Letterboxd The Next Best Thing. They discuss British Madonna, queer mainstream melodrama, rippling abs and the master John Schlesinger. "It's when two boys kiss and they go to the opera.” Enjoy the pod if not the Gay / Straight romcom that actually isn’t that at all.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the Blue Oyster Bar rather than the dirtbags, they graduate into the very, very poorly rated on Letterboxd Police Academy series. THAT’S RIGHT! Every single Police Academy movie. Let’s see if their marriage survives this episode?

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the Big Mick rather than the diseased rhinoceros pizzle, they coronate into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Coming 2 America. They discuss Eddie Murphy, comedy legacy sequels, their favourite Spice Girls and the new Indiana Jones trailer. "The best? That's like the most blast thing I've ever heard. What do we have besides superhero shit, remakes and sequels to old movies nobody asked for?” Enjoy the pod if not the Zamundan National Cinema Programme.

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Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the quack-fu rather than the evil overlord, they waddle into the 2.2* rated on Letterboxd Howard The Duck. They discuss George Lucas, Marvel Comics adaptations, sexy singers and duck puns. "I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie.” Enjoy the pod if not the notorious Eighties flop.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the apple rather than the bit lip, they slumber into the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd In Dreams. They discuss Annette Bening, her more famous husband’s Oscar snafu, school play productions and get to the root of why Natalie hates Marvel. "My daddy is a dollar / I wrote it on a fence / My daddy is a dollar / not worth a hundred cents.” Enjoy the pod if not the woozy serial killer thriller.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the cape rather than the codpiece, they power into the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd Masters of the Universe. They discuss Cannon Films, Dolph Lundgren, Courtney Cox and disco sword fights. "Everything comes to he who waits... and I have waited so very long for this moment.” Enjoy the pod if not the cartoon toy line adaptation.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the tube steak rather than the turkey baster, they conceive into the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd She Hate Me. They discuss whistleblowing, selling sperm, Spike’s fantastic back catalogue and the correct way to say “Sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiit”. "Don't look at me, I want it the old fashioned way.” Enjoy the pod if not the messy epic.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the dance sequence rather than the electric shock therapy, they padded cell into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Ward. They discuss John Carpenter, scary asylum movies, daughters of legends and the Amber Heard in the room. "Sorry, I don't converse with loonies.” Enjoy the pod if not the unremarkable horror swan song .

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the boob job rather than the drunk reporter, they flame on into the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd The Bonfire Of The Vanities. They discuss miscasting, The Devil’s Candy, potential racism and what makes good satire. "It was all over. There was no hope now. The darkness closed in around them. And then I noticed the most peculiar thing. Sherman was smiling.” Enjoy the pod if not the rushed the infamous flop.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the convent makeover rather than the deer in the headlights, they exorcise on into the 2.1* rated on Letterboxd Lost Souls. They discuss a loopy Winona Ryder, poor leading men, incest and cinematographers turned directors. "All right, you shrieking harpies! Enough of that racket! Be off with you!” Enjoy the pod if not the rushed religious horror.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the hay bale macking rather than the silver fingernail, they snarl on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Red Riding Hood. They discuss three generations of movie goddesses, fairy tale movies, weak love interests and potential belief systems. "Do you know how you kill a tiger, Father Auguste? You tie up your best goat and wait.” Enjoy the pod if not the YA horror tinged romance...

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the lasso of truth rather than the pissy bed, they fly on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Lawnmower Man. They discuss our virtual reality future, ground scraping CGI, Stephen King and exposed chests. "...my birth cry will be the sound of every phone on this planet ringing in unison.” Enjoy the pod not the ropey FX flick.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the lasso of truth rather than the pissy bed, they fly on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd WW84. They discuss just how underrated this modern classic is, a stellar cast, the colourful production design and a prescient moral. "It's just a trash can. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Enjoy the pod AND this superhero genre highlight.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the robot with a heart rather than the shouty resistance, they watch the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Terminator Salvation. Only this time we step aside and we inflict the first Skynet reboot onto an unsuspecting Stuart Laws. The content king discusses misleading trailers, his own untrustworthy nature, excessive robots and reminds of us some perfect underrated flicks. “There is a storm on the horizon. A time of hardship and pain!” Enjoy the pod if not Christian Bale’s one note grizzled rizzle.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the inflatable leprechaun rather than the spunky loaf, they prank on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Dirty Deeds. They discuss gross out teen comedies, just who is Milo Ventimiglia, a plethora of villains and find work for Judd Nelson. "I.A.B... It's All Bullshit!” Enjoy the pod if not the joke-lite wild and crazy night.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the cool rider rather than the bomb shelter, they dance on into the 2.3* rated on Letterboxd Grease 2. They discuss the original, Queen Michelle Pfeiffer, returning players and excessive fag smoking. "We're going to die and I'm wearing my mother's underwear!” Enjoy the pod if not the half assed cash-in.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the energy drink rather than the booby trap, they break on into the 1.5* rated on Letterboxd Home Sweet Home Alone. They discuss the original, child stars, returning players and philosopher Immanuel Kant. "Uh, this is garbage. I don't know why they are always trying to remake the classics. Never as good as the originals.” Enjoy the pod if not the ropey reboot comedy.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the ponderosa rather than the chicken in the face, they dance on into the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd Three To Tango. They discuss Chandler Bing, “kooky girls”, viewing Friends through a woke lens and whether David Lynch has watched this movie. "I haven't done anything or anyone to deserve this.” Enjoy the pod if not the unromantic “gay” romantic comedy.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the meteorite necklace rather than the Bob-omb, they plumb into the 1.9* rated on Letterboxd Super Mario Bros. They discuss video game adaptations, fantastic casts, massive sets and troubled productions. "Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.” Enjoy the pod if not the 8-Bit evolution.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for bed breaking fuck rather than the vampiric foetus, they suck on the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd two part Twilight Saga finale. They mix up the format to discuss wedding movies, final chapters in franchises, CGI babies and a few current releases. "Nessie? You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness MONSTER?” Enjoy the pod if not the wolf banter.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the topless wolfpack rather than the cut-offs, they watch with the 2.5* rated on Letterboxd Twilight: Eclipse. Only this time we step aside and we inflict the third chapter onto an unsuspecting Emily Randall. The cool kid historian discusses whether Edward has enough backstory, her Leo DiCaprio fixation, aquatic kids movies and suggests an intriguing hybrid pairing. “Oh my God, dad, I'm a virgin!” Enjoy the pod if not the freezing cold plot.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the sexy fencing triple agent rather than the slumming it Oscar winner, they suave on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Die Another Day. They discuss their least favourite 007 outings, yer man Pierce Brosnan himself, Madonna’s derided theme song and invisible cars. "A couple of hours on the dream machine keeps me sane.” Enjoy the pod if not the 20th James Bond entry.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the yellow Porsche rather than the motorbike tumble, they watch with the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Twilight: New Moon. Only this time we step aside and we inflict the sequel onto an unsuspecting James Mason. The beloved cynic discusses whether Bella does her homework, his telly-lad cinema education, the disruption of his Netflix algorithm and points out some credible vampire lore. “It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest.” Enjoy the pod if not the wet love triangle.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the breakfast Martini rather than the condom heist, they swindle on into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Freaky Deaky. They discuss their fave Christian Slater performances, Elmore Leonard, the lack of manly male lead roles and a cavalier attitude towards rape as a plot point. "Mr Woody, you put your underwear on first.” Enjoy the pod if not the crime caper.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the cyborg ninjas rather than the rat shit bath, they reboot into the 1.9* rated on Letterboxd Robocop 3. They discuss defanging the beloved original for the family market, Orion Pictures’ financial woes, a smorgasbord of character actors and the jet pack. "I am now authorized to... be loyal as a puppy.” Enjoy the pod if not the much delayed toy advert sci-fi adventure.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the Victoria Secrets’ Gala rather than the flat cap, they log on into the 2.3* rated on Letterboxd Perfect Stranger. They discuss unlikely Oscar Winner Halle Berry, strange hairlines, barmy twists upon twists and their favourite erotic thrillers. "Stroke a man's dick, you get him for one night. Stroke a man's ego, you get him for life.” Enjoy the pod if not the nudity free potboiler.

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Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the Aztecy Mayan Gold rather than the drowning Volkswagen, they roundhouse kick into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Firewalker. They discuss the discreet charms of Chuck Norris, Cannon Films, which stars make it onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame and Eighties Adventure movies. “Watch he'll say something like "So gentlemen, we meet again".” Enjoy the pod if not the Indy rip-off.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the free yacht ride rather than the blue flame death, they watch with the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Vengeance of She. Only this time Natalie steps aside and we inflict the Hammer Studios sequel onto an unsuspecting Gráinne Maguire. The beloved Irish comedian discusses her secret star crush, her Eighties movie upbringing, woollen fashions and suggests bringing in a bit of Golden Age Hollywood talent. “I don't throw George's girls to the sharks. Not anymore. There's not enough sharks.” Enjoy the pod if not the boring cash-in.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the blue space alcohol rather than the fake god, they watch the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Star Trek 5. They discuss cinematic continuations of top telly, the overcrowded blockbuster summer of ‘89, jet pack boots and compromised SFX. “In that case, I have little choice but to sample your beans.” Enjoy the pod if not the unloved franchise entry.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the shape charge rather than the crab explosion, they shower bang with the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Specialist. They discuss villainous overacting, burning stuntmen flying through the air, London buses and mid 1990s movie related bangers. “Who gave you permission to smile? Shut up!” Enjoy the pod if not the Stallone / Stone starrer.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the magic trick rather than the drugged goblet, they dry hump with the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Meridian from Charles Brand. They discuss Sherilyn Fenn’s timeless beauty, non-consensual fantasy sex, Don’t Look Now connections and the lack of male nudity. “I think something terrible may have happened!” Enjoy the pod if not the lack of horror.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the prize money rather than the broken neck, they compete with the 2.2* rated on Letterboxd Kickboxer 6. They discuss The Muscles From Brussels, fake elephants, sports with no rules and... apropos of nothing... Bobby starts protesting too much about not watching gay porn. “Joseph King by name, Jokin' by nature...” Enjoy the pod if not the all too fleeting appearances from Gina Carano.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the banana boat rather than the rusty sculpture, they chomp into the 1.5* rated on Letterboxd Jaws 4. They discuss paycheck player Sir Michael Caine, sandcastle slavery, bloated robotics and stalking sharks. “This time it’s personal.” Enjoy the pod if not the unfortunate end of a franchise.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the rose petal bath rather than the feast on the floor, they warp themselves into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Prehistoric Women. They discuss Hammer Horror, Sixties sexiness, politically incorrect adventures and unpredictable dance numbers. “I did not save you for others, strange one. You're mine. Mine alone. Think on this.” Enjoy the pod if not the Martine Beswick starrer.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the pom poms rather than the frog dissection, they meta themselves into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Return To Horror High. They discuss George Clooney’s feature film debut, boob shots, random twists and enthusiastic, blood stained Brady Bunch cast members. “There will be no exploding tit shots.” Enjoy the pod if not the self aware comedy horror.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the log cabin rather than the muddy puddle, they force themselves on to the 2.6* rated on Letterboxd I Spit On Your Grave remake. They discuss the rape revenge sub-genre, flip-flops, torture porn and the ultimate sin... mixing red and white wine. “She's just an innocent girl!” Enjoy the pod if not the mercenary ordeal.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the evening dress rather than the dreary column, they make a bad marriage with the 2.3* rated on Letterboxd Bel Ami. They discuss their finest period adaptations, teen heart throbs maturing, distant nudity and Christina Ricci. “Paris is filthy with money, even the whores are getting rich. Why don't you come to dinner tomorrow night?” Enjoy the pod if not Robert Pattinson’s expressions.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for an engagement ring rather than a home perm, they splash into the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Holiday In Handcuffs. They discuss the made for TV Christmas romantic comedy sub-genre, Melissa Joan Hart, the ethics of kidnapping and their Top Five Festive Faves. “Doing one crazy thing does not make a person crazy, though I have to admit this isn't how I expected to be spending my Christmas...” Enjoy the pod if not the 90 minute felony.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the ultrasound rather than the asylum gangbang, they copulate at the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Freddy 5. They discuss their top 5 horror icons, pro-life slashers, ingenious FX and whether Natalie really, really dislikes Bad Boys. “Kids... always a disappointment.” Enjoy the pod if not the rushed fifthquel.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the King of the Faeries rather than the Graveyard Gloria, they peephole at the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd Porkys 2. They discuss the sub-genre of Arsehole Raunch, Jeffrey Coombs’ sexuality, childhood phobias and larkish toxic masculinity. “Get the Flock out of here!” Enjoy the pod if not the dickhead fest.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for a Narf rather than a Scrunt, they splash into the 2.3* rated on Letterboxd Lady In The Water. They discuss the hubris of M Night Shyamalan, average bloke product placement, Joseph Campbell myths and useless humans. “He's hearing the voice of God through a crossword puzzle!” Enjoy the pod if not the twistless mystery.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the mother boxes rather than talking fish, they team-up against the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Muppets Wizard of Oz. They discuss “Who is Ashanti?”, Tarantino cameos, wasted Kermit and other classics that should get The Muppet treatment. “Psshh. Psshh. Psshh! I'm talking Oz in flames! Burn baby burn! You digging it?” Enjoy the pod if not the made-for-tv cheapie.

Wife and Husband film fans Natalie and Bobby trawl their gargantuan DVD collection and check out the lowest rated movies they own. Hoping for the WINNER rather than the rubber corpse, they right-click at the 2.4* rated on Letterboxd The Card Player. They discuss Dario Argento, giallo, high quality sex dolls and their favourite Desktop Operating System card games. “One other thing... this was inserted into her vagina.” Enjoy the pod if not the dial-up modem thrills.