Bachelor of Hearts

The marriage between the first ever Golden Bachelor couple, Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, has ended. We rushed to the mics to debrief in this emergency minisode.

Back to Kelce next week. We'll get through this together.

Party Rock is on the pod tonight?! This week, we're joined by LMFAO expert Lauren Guerrera for a discussion of an unexpected high point for Catching Kelce - a trip to the Party Rock Mansion. As Travis himself gets slightly lost between the cracks, we find joy in an impassioned defence of Violet Beauregarde, a meticulously detailed research dossier, and a new game called Two Fooths and a Lie.

Beep boop! This week Travis Kelce enters cyberspace, and drags several women into the digital world with him. While some women receive a high-tech kiss, others barely escape with all their bits intact. We consider what lessons Catching Kelce may have learned from GamerGate (if any), bone up on the history of the touchdown dance, and eagerly anticipate a more exciting episode next week.

This week, Catching Kelce begins a somewhat awkward transition from its cut-throat beginnings to the more character-focused, relationship-based show it will become. Max intrigues Xavy with tales of butt fumbling, banana baseball, and lingerie football, while Xavy offers thoughts about the Catching Kelce theme song, a discussion of Mop Guys, and a new game called What Dog. All this, plus an extended Fabio deep-dive courtesy of past and future guest Dr. Jodi McAlister.

The whistle blows, and regular season play begins - in week 1 of Catching Kelce, Travis narrowed down his pool of fifty women to just fifteen in a brutal round of cuts. We analyse the plays made on the first episode to determine which women deserved a touchdown, and which deserved to much-frown (due to not being picked).

We're lucky enough to be joined by Travis Kelce as a special in-studio guest - plus, Max lists all the dud states, Xav recounts a bird-related mishap, and we learn to mix liquor with alcohol.

We're tackling the last three episodes of this wild season all in one go - so strap down your precariously positioned pot plants, gather up a few stray geese, jot down a few hundred words on a scrap of printer paper, and prepare for the best. Which Bachelors emerge unscathed? Which women were we cheering for? (hint: all of them) And do we really have to talk about Baby one more time? From an unexpected (and unexpectable) gift, to a purchase previously thought impossible, to a running time that ended up as long as Killers of the Flower Moon - this episode overflows with very specific miracles for very specific people. Thanks for listening to this season. Back soon.

It's a pivotal pair of episodes as we wriggle closer to finale, with giddy highs (Wesley and Brea breaking format and technically making Bachelor history, a much-needed and well-earned boat date, and an unexpected crossover with Dr. Pimple Popper) as well as undeniable lows (Episode 8).

Please send us your mnemonics to help us remember what floor food to eat. We'll be back again soon with our coverage of the rest of the season - plus Max says we'll be doing a whole episode about Ballina, so I guess look forward to that.

Any podcast born after 2015 can't cook... all they know is point out visible boom mic, correct handsome idiot on art history, investigate the acting career of Big Brother Australia 2005 evictee Simon Deering, try and work out the difference between "person" and "human", look up prices of hot chip & lie.

We're back with a one-off recap of Episode 5 - which included a crashed group date, a little bit of culture at the NGV, and a vow of celibacy.

Welcome quack to the BoH podcast! On this episode, we're diving deep on Episode 2 of The Bachelors Australia S11/2, which contained numerous deep-dives of its own, as well as two ducks, five swans, a pelican, a whirly-bird, and (not quite) a Gosling. We're a partridge short of a carol here, although two of this season's birds will get a peck before the night is through.

Plus - Max celebrates a successful called shot, Xavy maps out some Melbourne geography, and we delight in the surprise return of a beloved Group Date format.

HELLO! And welcome back to Australia's best and longest-running Bachelor podcast! We're so stoked to be back on deck recapping Season 11 of The Bachelor[s] Australia, unless it's Season 2, the jury's still out. In this episode:

Has the Bachelor gone full Bridgerton? Also, what's Bridgerton? Plus, you'll meet all (some?) of the key players from the show's "Most Romantic™️ Season" yet.

Also - Christian Swear Words, a Ting expose, and which one of these women will initiate World War III, darling?

This week on BoH, we're taking a detailed look at the 24 women who'll be entering the fray when the new season of The Bachelors Australia starts this weekend. Xavy puts their official cast bio analysis hat on, and Max sniffs around the dark and dusty alleyways of the internet searching for buried treasure. It's a fully off-leash deep-dive into weird made-up job titles, German TV, Mr. Lambo, juice addiction, and horse creation software.

Stick around to the end for our totally unqualified predictions on who'll still be standing at the end of this season!

This week, we're both back in action for a simply staggering week of Golden Bachelor. It's Fuck Week - the official celebration of permitted primetime porking, which prompts potentially painful pratfalls from the show's pension-eligible patriarch. We bear witness to the first ever Golden 69, find out how birds have sex, and struggle to agree on our predictions for the finale.

This week, XRN has been struck down by covid-19, so MQ is handily filling in the gaps, for the traditional not-quite-an-episode of the series: The Women Tell All. There's not All that much for the Women to Tell this time around, as drama has served as a garnish to the other festivities this season. However, we do find out our Final Two, as Gerry surprises us with his choice of evictee, and Max reflects on their less-than-ideal ending. Plus: gas chat, six inches become eight, and of course, we get to hear plenty of Max's beautiful Gerry impression.

This week, we're a little distracted by some baby news on Bachelor in Paradise, but we still find time for some research into Joan's hometown, memories of Listen To Your Heart, and the shortest Single Date we've ever seen.

Plus, we genuinely enjoy some poetry, marvel at the gentlest dibber-dobbing in franchise history, and learn what a hoo-ha is. (None of our business).

The BoH babys are BACK with a brand-new episode covering a scattershot grab-bag of extremely important topics! First of all, we're officially announcing that we will be covering The Golden Bachelor when it begins airing in the US at the end of September. We also detail some BoH-adjacent books and music we've been enjoying, dig into a red-hot crematorium scandal, and try and determine where 90s hitmakers The Offspring stand on trans rights. Plus, we catch up on recent weddings, product launches, and comings-out (both closet and implant).

Well, it's certainly a choice (again). This episode features our initial reactions to the announcement that Season 11 of The Bachelor Australia will again feature three leads: Wesley Senna Cortes, Ben Waddell, and Luke Bateman. XRN is going in cold (well, actually, going in 'stomach virus'), but MQ has prepared a detailed dossier on the three new Bachelors - so join us as we dig deeper than anyone could reasonably expect us to in order to find out whether any of these guys are interesting enough to talk about on our podcast for several frantic weeks. (We're still going to do it regardless, but, y'know.)

What's up bug dicks! The FBoy Island gods have blessed us with a combination Fuck Week and Finale Week, so we dig in to all the action, including a twist ending that served as another huge highlight of the season. Plus - what's going on with Cory? Which ex-Bachelor was caught up in a gangland shooting this week? And has a DJ ever had sex?

This week, we grapple with how the show recovered from a staggering cliffhanger, as the men's true natures (or at least their declared plans for the prize money) have become a matter of public record. Plus - a spirited discussion about kink, a flat-out disagreement about the respective A-Boy and F-Boy of the week, and flowers for Gold Logie nominee Osher Gunsberg. We're also inspired by a scene-stealing and potentially chances-ruining sunburn to introduce a new segment honouring the contestant who most needs a trip to SPFBoy Island.

This week, we're back discussing FBOY Island Australia, and even though it's only week 2, we've already seen several game-breakingly unexpected events that require our analysis. What happens when a Nice Guy is cast away and then resurrected? And just what is an "intruder" when it comes to reality TV? All this plus our awards for F Boy of the week, A Boy of the week, and much much more.

All this plus Xavier presents a brief history of pieing, we reminisce about the deeply cursed British dating show Snog Marry Avoid?, and Max shares some brand-new-and-definitely-not-rushed-into-production jingles.

This week, we kick off our coverage of the brand-new series, FBOY Island Australia! We rank some of our first impressions from A to F-Boy, we discuss "Bros Before Hoes" and the gray area between F-Boy and Nice Guy, and we pick our "boygenius" smartest moves of the week.

Plus, Max shares highlights from Abbie Chatfield's Trauma Dump show, Leah Cummings speaks out about Thomas Malucelli, and Xavier smelled something funny at a birthday party.

In this extra-length episode, we report on three rumoured leads for the now-confirmed Bachelor AU S11, touch base about MILF Manor, and make an important announcement about what we'll be covering on the podcast next.

But the meat of this episode comes when we decide to create the perfect application for The Bachelor. We go step-by-step through the exhaustive online application process, shaping and moulding the truth using our years of experience to create the ideal semi-fictional contestant.

Who won and who lost during the first Married At First Sight Dinner Party of Season 10? BoH co-host Max Quinn reacts live after the episode. Hot takes within on:

• Harrison, Bronte and Melinda
• Can Jesse be redeemed?
• Melissa's root rat edit
• Josh's Disney obsession
• ... what is Cumbo?

Well, I don't know what we expected. On this episode, we recap a suitably bugnuts finale to match a completely chaotic season of television. This episode featured some of the strangest and most memorable moments of any Bachelor season we can remember - from Thomas' abrupt final dismissal, to the first ever accepted proposal on an Australian Bachelor show, to a last-minute drone invasion. We also give an update on where everyone's at now, over six months since the season wrapped.
Plus, Maxy's Tim Burton hot takes,  a detailed analysis of "Kiss me like you're single", and also, does Jed fuck?

We're at the very tail end of 'Finals Week', and in a move that definitely has nothing to do with budget restraints, the show has decided to combine Hometowns with the Meet The Parents (as well as a drop-in from the dreaded Fourth Bachelor) into one great big calamitous clusterfuck. We sat down to record right after Episode 11 aired to figure out how ready (or not ready) everyone seems to be to get engaged, we try and get our heads around Thomas' desire to "create life from scratch", and grapple with just what Damien's deal is, and how it might involve the 'Seven Figure Academy'?

In another gut-reaction podcast recorded straight after the 9th episode of The Bachelors, we remain remarkably on track and tangent-free as we go deep on Jed's songwriting process, Felix's narrative of personal growth, the mishandling of several key participants' storylines this season. We do make some brief stops along the way to discuss our kebab shop orders, Muppets, Rob Zombie, dipping sauces, and Xavier debuts their long-gestating Thomas impression.

Season 10 of The Bachelor AU marches on, and it's another episode that's quite different to what we've been led to expect: Group Dates have been revamped, we're visiting the Bachelors' brand-new penthouse Bach Pad, and there's an interesting triptych structure to help us follow the action. We discuss the way the show is allowing the Bachelors to be less than perfect, unveil a fresh BoH conspiracy theory regarding some post-production trickery, and Max debuts his chilling new impression of Thomas Malucelli.

It's finally time - the long-awaited tenth season of The Bachelor has emerged from its extended primordial slumber, and we are here to pull apart all the juicy details of the very first episode. Luck (and our wonderful community) placed the first two episodes into our eagerly outstretched hands a little early, which means we've had ample time to chew over all the changes the producers have made to ensure this is the differentest season yet. THREE Bachelors. THIRTY roses. THREE HUNDRED MILLION women. And, get this - it's extremely horny.

Feeling surprised? Frightened? Excited? We got u. 

This week, on our last episode of Bachelor of Hearts Presents: ScholarShip, we're discussing the final two weeks of The Real Love Boat AU, and as we draw towards the end, the boat show has changed its flavour quite dramatically, and we're still deciding whether or not we're on board. We revisit the way the show has dealt with its story threads, including the last-minute revelation of a cash prize, the differences between its short-term and long-term villains, and The One Thing We Didn't Want To Happen (which totally happened). All this, plus a final set-piece which we'll never forget.