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Borderline Idealist – BPD, Anxiety, & Depression

Borderline Idealist – BPD, Anxiety, & Depression

By AJ & Cris
**New episodes every Month**
*Trigger warning: some episodes we discuss drugs/self-harm/sexual trauma, ect.*

AJ shares his experiences with BPD, anxiety, and depression along with his husband Cris. Together they discuss their relationship's special challenges, mental health issues, and their lives as introverts.
Our goal is to share personal struggles and different mental health journeys. We are not mental health professionals and have no mental health qualifications but our own experiences. We're just two introverts in love dealing with life.♥️
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Mental Health + BPD Awareness Month
May is mental health awareness month, and also BPD awareness month. Both are important to expose people to the truth about mental health issues and fight stigma.
May 17, 2021
If not now, then when?
Update on AJ's structure and schedule and how we can motivate ourselves out of procrastination.
April 19, 2021
Day 10 of Structure: TGIF
It's Friday, so I want to get as many things done as possible. Usually cleaning a room takes extra time (more than an hour), also because I'm trying not to be distracted by social media. Etsy, poetry, and #artistproblems included!
April 3, 2021
Day 9 of Structure: It Gets Better
Another day, another dinner. I really had a good day today.
April 2, 2021
Day 8 - Focus on Priorities
There are important things to do each day (making an appointment, calling a friend, emergencies, ect.) but don't let that slow you down! No one is perfect, but hell, we can try right?
April 1, 2021
Let's learn a language together!
In the spirit of staying motivated and creating structure, feel free to follow me on Duolingo! I set a reminder for myself that every day at 3:00 pm I do lessons. Why not join me and take steps in learning the language you always wanted to speak!
March 31, 2021
Day 7 of Structure: Picking up the pieces
Recovering from a depressing day, I come to terms with my doubts and fear that seem inescapable. Press on!
March 31, 2021
Day 6 of Structure: Structure, Interrupted!
Monday was a hard day. I want to concentrate on my life, but thinking about it got me pessimistic. But I won't stop! *episode contains talk of suicide*
March 30, 2021
Relapse & Failure
What happens when you fail? What even is failure? On this episode we discuss the missteps, roadblocks, and our eventual relapse into our old schedule despite the efforts set in motion 2 weeks ago. More importantly, we discuss how to learn and pivot to pursue our goals more efficiently and intelligently.
March 29, 2021
Day 5 of Structure
What have I learned so far? Weekends are non-negotiable! And also, I love the feeling of focus and motivation in the sun.
March 20, 2021
Day 4 of Structure
Trying hard to get what I want done to better myself and my surroundings.
March 19, 2021
Day 3 of Structure
Mid-week report
March 18, 2021
Day 2 of Structure
Wasn't a perfect day. A lot of factors affected how my day turned out. The importance of the schedule is being able to get the things done that I want to get done in a timely manner. I feel like I didn't do my best today. I can't wait to try again tomorrow! 😳
March 17, 2021
Day 1 of Structure
First day of my schedule! Monday is here. This is how it went. The ups, the downs, the cats 🐈
March 16, 2021
Structure & BPD
Procrastinating seems to be a bpd trait. DBT teaches that structure is a great way for our minds to stay active and for us to feel productive. Like me, you may have started projects with grandiose ideas and very motivated, but then slowly became disheartened and discontinued. Our feelings are connected to our motivation so it's important that we take care of ourselves and develop good habits to pass the time.
March 15, 2021
Valentine's Day 2021
We're being a little silly and celebrating Valentine's day by playing a game. 🍭♥️
February 15, 2021
Racial Trauma
What is Racial Trauma? In this episode, we discuss what can cause racial trauma and our own experiences dealing racism. While there are various symptoms associated with racial trauma, we focus PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety.
January 25, 2021
6 DBT Skills that Helped Our Relationship
These are our most used DBT skills since learning them in 2020, most commonly used to benefit our marriage and our other relationships. There are many skills but these are the ones that have benefited us daily.
January 11, 2021
A Look Back at 2020!
Join us as we review the year that will live in infamy—2020! We discuss the special interviews, DBT therapy, Self Care Walks, Patreon, and our top three most listened episodes: "High Functioning BPD" (July 26), "7 Things People with BPD Want You to Know" (May 10), and "Questions on BPD" (May 27). As we say our final goodbyes to 2020, we want to thank each and every one of you for sticking with us through this rough year. We hope you'll join us in 2021—see you on the other side!
December 31, 2020
Sense of Self
Do you know who you are? We all go through changes, but BPD can constantly shift your emotions and self-esteem.
November 30, 2020
The Official Depression Relief Playbook
Zack is one of our listeners and our new friend! His book is filled with great information for those struggling with depression, especially for the first time. It’s a guide that covers everything from nutrition to finding the right care in an honest and encouraging way. Checkout the full book on Amazon. Link on
November 10, 2020
AJ has begun exploring different essential oils and their effects. They can stimulate, calm, and even improve self esteem. Join us as we discuss our favorite six oils!
October 27, 2020
Wise Mind
An update on beginning our DBT study group & also understanding the reasonable, emotional, and wise mind.
October 11, 2020
BPD & Mania
Can those with BPD experience a form of mania? Hypomania is a less severe form of mania that AJ believes he’s experienced. But isn’t mania only a bipolar thing? And how do you manage these type of energy burst that are followed by low mood?
September 28, 2020
Idealization & Devaluation
Oh, splitting, how you affect us so! AJ speaks about how he can go from one minute loving Cris, then feel he is the worst. BPD can make a truly emotional situation harder by distrusting yourself and others.
September 7, 2020
Figuring out how strongly to ask or say no
We play a game that explores DBT interpersonal effectiveness and shows us how strongly to say no or how strongly to ask for what you want. Check out our Facebook and Instagram for the instructions.
August 25, 2020
Mindfulness Meditation Exercise
Follow along with Cris as he walks us through a simple mindfulness exercise to help us stay focus on the present.
August 13, 2020
Mindfulness helps us to be in the moment and can also help us improve our awareness of our bodies and mind. AJ & Cris reflects on how they use the skill.
August 10, 2020
High Functioning BPD
Listen to your favorite introverts talk about the difference between high functioning vs low.
July 27, 2020
DBT Skills at work!
Here's a great example of AJ utilizing STOP, radical acceptance, and checking the facts. We look at how DBT helped in a specific stressful situation, and what it could have been like without their help.
July 13, 2020
Radical acceptance
Learn how this distress tolerance skill can help lessen your suffering so you can proceed on mindfully. Don’t go spiraling! (I apologise for tripping over my own words. I should have let Cris read but then I would have to say he was right. No way. Sorry. Stay out of our marriage! 😂)
June 29, 2020
Try this Sensory Awareness Exercise !
Here is an exercise in mindfulness. Sensory awareness is anything that involves the five senses. Find somewhere to get comfy,relax, and focus on grounding yourself in the present.
June 16, 2020
Distress Tolerance Basics
AJ has a scholarship to a DBT boot camp this summer, so he wants to pass on what he learned to you! Distress tolerance helps us calm during stress so we can focus on making a factual decision using our "wise mind." For more on distress tolerance follow the link in our blog post:
June 16, 2020
Questions on BPD
Here are some popular questions we get as6k through our social media. If you would like to send us a question or something to discuss, please email us at
May 27, 2020
7 things people with BPD want you to know: May is BPD Awareness Month
To help promote BPD awareness month, we discuss 7 things people with BPD want you to know.
May 11, 2020
Coronavirus & DBT: Check the facts
We chat about the brave new world we live in under partial isolation to flatten the curve. Also AJ tells us about a new DBT skill that can help you process emotional situations.
April 27, 2020
DBT Catch-up: Mindfulness, Distressed Tolerance, and STOP skill
Here's a bit of what AJ has been learning in DBT sessions. We hope you can use a skill or two to help get you through stressful times and appreciate the moment.
April 7, 2020
Movie Night: Girl, Interrupted (Full episode)
For all those self-isolating and bored at home, we offer the first full episode of our Patreon miniseries. These are crazy times, so why not sit back, and enjoy listening to our discussion on a woman's self discovery of BPD in a 1960s mental hospital. We love you and hope this might bring you joy in these trying times! ♥️
April 4, 2020
Valene's Story: Childhood trauma, drug abuse, BPD
Valene gives us a look into her life growing up in a hectic household, struggling to find her place, and the courage to press forward.
March 22, 2020
Self-care Walk: March 17
🌈Walkin & Talkin
March 18, 2020
Walky+Story: March 16
AJ shares one of his sacred stories from his secret stash on this walk.
March 17, 2020
Self-care Walk: Ides of March
Trivia: The Ides of March is the 74th day in the Roman calendar that corresponds to 15 March. It was marked by several religious observances and was notable for the Romans as a deadline for settling debts. In 44 BC, it became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar which made the Ides of March a turning point in Roman history.
March 16, 2020
Self-care Walk Talk: March 14
Sweetwater Creek was a great experience for us! It's our second time going and this time with friends. Here's a chat about the adventure ♥️
March 15, 2020
Self-care Walk: March 13
Are we still doing this? Yes. Yes we are. 🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️🚸
March 14, 2020
Self-care walk: March 12
It’s official! AJ’s psychologist recommended a daily walk, so we thought we’d share this time with you ♥️ We encourage you to walk along with us or consider doing something outside of your regular routine. ✌🏽
March 13, 2020
Self-care Walk: March 11, 2020
It’s official! AJ’s psychologist recommended a daily walk, so we thought we’d share this time with you ♥️ We encourage you to walk along with us or consider doing something outside of your regular routine. ✌🏽
March 12, 2020
Self-care Walk: March 10, 2020
It’s official! AJ’s psychologist recommended a daily walk, so we thought we’d share this time with you ♥️ We encourage you to walk along with us or consider doing something outside of your regular routine. ✌🏽
March 11, 2020
Starting Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
AJ finally begins DBT. We discuss finding a doctor and finally moving forward. (This episode was previously posted Sunday, but due to technical error we posted it again today)
March 9, 2020
Allie's Story: Sexual Trauma, BPD, and Therapy
We interview Allie, a friend from our Discord channel, that asked if we had done another episode about sexual trauma. She volunteered to be interviewed about her own experiences to further help others and spread awareness. Allie’s email is | Need help? Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) or RAINN.ORG. 
February 23, 2020
Valentine's Day
For some, Valentine’s Day can make them feel lonely or left out. We’ll discuss why it is important to focus on yourself and the love you can cultivate from within. We will also discuss our own dating past and habits that helped us develop who we are today.
February 10, 2020
Personality Growth
AJ & Cris retake the personality test to see if they've changed and discuss how personality can evolve over time and by experiences.
January 27, 2020
Join our Facebook Group
January 18, 2020
Episode 56 - Is Medicine An Easy Fix? (LIVE)
Some say taking medicine to treat symptoms of BPD is unnecessary and more harm than good. Why take something that causes side effects? We look at AJ's journey of begining meds and trying to be without. (This audio is from a live recording. Check out the video on
January 13, 2020
Episode 55 - Borderline Idealist 2019
Cris and AJ take a look back on their favorite episodes of 2019.
December 30, 2019
Episode 54 - Caregivers
Cris is more than a husband; he's my best friend, confidant, lover, and lifeline. Sometimes those that help others are overlooked, but Cris and I wanted to do an episode to remind everyone to reach out, talk, share, grow!
December 16, 2019
Episode 53 - BPD Anger: Anxiety and Anger Part 2
Those who have BPD are known to have trouble with anger. Join us as we talk about how it can affect dating/relationships and how to process it around loved ones.
December 2, 2019
Episode 52 - Alcohol & BPD
Our last conversation really hit home with one of our listeners, Sarah. Those with BPD might relate to her story of early substance abuse and childhood trauma. The important morale of her story is to move forward with life, that we all suffer from a past we might regret, but we can break the cycle.
November 17, 2019
Episode 51 - Anxiety and Anger: Part 1
Self-medicating can make problems worse. We discuss how Anxiety can manifest itself and the Detriment of keeping your problems to yourself.
November 4, 2019
Episode 50 - Suicidal Ideation
Those that suffer from borderline personality disorder may have the symptom of suicidal ideation or self-mutilation. We speak about how these things can affect our life and how to grow from the experience.
October 21, 2019
Episode 49 - Between Jobs
Sometimes having BPD and finding the right career can be a challenge. AJ speaks about his anxiety and frustration trying to find the right job and exploring possible therapy to continue his career journey.
October 7, 2019
Episode 48 - Schizoaffective Disorder
AJ's brother Gyasi speaks out for the first time about his diagnosis as Schizoaffective; a mental health condition that includes schizophrenia and mood disorder symptoms.
September 22, 2019
Episode 47 - Inspiration & Being Yourself
We talk with a friend Adam about him BPD journey and how creativity has helped him express himself.
September 8, 2019
Episode 46 - Borderline Idealist: Home Owners Edition
The papers are signed and the house is officially ours! Join us as we begin moving things out of our old house and stay tuned for a bonus clip at the end!
September 2, 2019
Episode 45 - Hope in Hopelessness
AJ & Cris share how feelings of hopelessness have affected them and how togetherness can motivate and help heal the feelings of emptiness.
August 19, 2019
Episode 44 - Dating the Abandoned
AJ & Cris reflect on their past dating lives, the feelings of abandonment, and learning when to let go of unhealthy relationships without feeling guilty.
August 5, 2019
Episode 43 - Starting A Conversation
Jennifer who wants to start a podcast about living with MS and depression visit AJ & Cris to find out about podcasting and what to know as a beginner.
July 28, 2019
Episode 42 - Uncertainty
We are all excited and afraid of what the future holds. AJ & Cris chat about finding a balance and learning to live with the feeling of not knowing what's to come and how to find peace no matter the outcome.
July 22, 2019
Episode 41 - BPD Relationship: The Real Me
We sometimes don't realize how we act inappropriately towards others when stress and life altering decisions are in front of us. We should appreciate those that stand by us no matter what.
July 15, 2019
Episode 40 - Trusting Your Decisions
AJ talks with Cris about his job and distorted self awareness. How can you trust yourself if you have BPD?
July 7, 2019
Episode 39 - Happy Pride!
We chat about what gay pride month means to us and why representation is important.
June 16, 2019
Episode 38 - BPD & Dating
Braelynn joins us to talk about dating with BPD and dealing with rejection.
June 3, 2019
Episode 37 - Learning To Love Yourself
Cris & AJ talk self-esteem and how to learn to love yourself for who you are and the talents you can share with others.
May 26, 2019
Episode 36 - BPD Memes
Gordon of We're Warriors BPD Support Group joins us to discuss why BPD memes are so popular in the community and how the humor relates to mental health struggles.
May 13, 2019
Episode 35 - BPD Recovery & Remission
Discussion on recovering from BPD, remission, and the hope for a cure.
May 6, 2019
Episode 34 - BPD Relationship: First Wedding Anniversary
AJ & Cris discuss the first year of marriage and how it has made their love stronger.
April 29, 2019
Episode 33 - Living with Three Personality Disorders
Shelby shares about her multiple diagnosis and how her hope and need to help others makes her stronger each day.
April 21, 2019
Episode 32 - You have BPD, Now What?
AJ & Cris are joined by recently diagnosed Braelynn to talk about the process of coping with BPD as a new reality. 
April 14, 2019
Episode 31 - Working With Anxiety & Depression Part II
A follow up on working with mental illness. AJ speaks about challenges of self-worth and self-harm and choosing to value your best self.
April 7, 2019
Episode 30 - Working With Anxiety & Depression Part I
When you go to work with anxiety and depression it can distract you from being a productive employee. We talked about our experience with this on the job and how it can make us a better worker.
March 25, 2019
Episode 29 - Challenging Criticism
We use criticism to give feedback to others but it can hurt feelings and cause discord. How do we learn to navigate criticism with BPD? °•°•°•°•
March 17, 2019
Episode 28 - BPD Relationship: Am I Worthy?
What makes you worthy of your partner and does being with someone with BPD make this relationship the worst Cris has ever been in?
March 11, 2019
10,000! 🎉😁 THANK YOU!
10,000 listeners have tuned in to Borderline Idealist!
March 5, 2019
Episode 27: After The Show!
What went on after ep. 27 ended?
March 4, 2019
Episode 27 - Dealing With Denial
We discuss denial in mental health and how to bring up the topic to loved ones.
March 4, 2019
Episode 26 - BPD Relationship: Settling Down
AJ & Cris talk about unpacking in their new house and what they hope for in the future.
February 25, 2019
Episode 25: After The Show!
An after the show special of our conversation about mental hospitals.
February 17, 2019
Episode 25 - Mental Hospitals & Programs
We join Carmella Young and share experiences from mental hospitals and wellness programs that help us deal with the stress of life when it seems like it's too much to handle alone.
February 17, 2019
Episode 24 - BPD Relationship: The Big Move
All about moving somewhere new as someone with BPD and having a super-neat husband.
February 10, 2019
Episode 23 - Truth About Medication
When dealing with depression and anxiety, medication is a possible tool on your journey to helping you cope. We talk about side effects and also the dangers of self-medication.
February 3, 2019
Episode 22 - Crippling Depression
Sometimes depression can be so severe it leaves you down and out. We explain what it feels like, steps you can take to feel better, and how family and friends can help.
January 28, 2019
Episode 21 - Leaving Home with BPD
When you're out with others that don't know you have a condition or much about it, how can you let them know and keep your anxiety under control?
January 21, 2019
Episode 20 - Introvert Birthdays
How introverts spend their birthdays!
January 14, 2019
Episode 19 - New Year & Christmas Anxiety
New Year & Christmas Anxiety
January 7, 2019
Better Than Depression - Dec. 30 - Youtube
Depression is going down!
December 30, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 29 - Humor
Humor cures depression! Hahaha!
December 29, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 28 - Nexflix
Movies are better than depression!
December 28, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 27 - Website
Better than depression
December 27, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 26 - XBOX
December 26, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec.25 - Christmas
Merry Christmas!
December 26, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 24 - Christmas Eve
Happy Christmas Eve!
December 25, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 23 - Glasses
December 23, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 22 - Shelter
December 22, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 21 - Cooking
December 21, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 20 - Photos
Fight depression with photos!
December 20, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 19 - Clothing
Better than depression
December 19, 2018
Better Than Depression - Dec. 18 - Idealistic
December 18, 2018
Borderline Idealist - Episode 17 - Religion & Mental Health
Zyrah from So Unbelievably Borderline joins us to chat about religion and mental illness, and her experience with borderline personality disorder and being Muslim.
December 10, 2018
Borderline Idealist - Episode 16 - Mother of Son with BPD
Understanding borderline personality disorder through the eyes of a mother
December 2, 2018
Introverts & BPD Holiday Survival Guide
Cris and I talk about our Thanksgiving and how being an introvert can make it difficult but interesting.
November 26, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 25 - I've Got Life
Life is worth living!
November 26, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 24 - Charisma
Better than depression
November 24, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 23 - Travel with Cris
I get to go to the places I love with the person I love.
November 23, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 22 - Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is time with the ones that love you.
November 22, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 21 - Friends
Friendships are better than depression.
November 21, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 20 - Nachos!
Nachos, my comfort food that alleviates my depression.
November 20, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 19 - I'm a loyal friend
I'm a good friend and that's a reason to be happy and not be depressed.
November 19, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 18 - Family
Loving my family and having them with me keeps my depression at bay.
November 18, 2018
Postpartum Depression
We discuss with Jamila about postpartum depression and what friends and family can do to support a mother going through this ordeal.
November 18, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 17 - Haircut
Something as small as a haircut can change your outlook on the world. #depression
November 17, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 16 - Music
Music is better than depression!
November 16, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 15 - Frida the kitten
My kitten Frida takes down my depression.
November 15, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 14 - Poetry
Poetry is better than depression!
November 14, 2018
Better Than Depression - Nov. 12 - Cris, my soulmate
My husband Cris is the reason I can fight my depression everyday. #depression #mentalhealth #infp
November 12, 2018
Update On Our Lives
Update on AJ & Cris #infp #infj #bpd #depression #idealist
November 11, 2018
Voting & Anxiety + BPD
Voting for elections and referendums as an introvert. Here is how we rock the vote!
November 4, 2018
Social Media & Introverts
We discuss how social media can affect introverts that look inward on their problems and try to understand the world around them.
October 31, 2018
Procrastination and Motivation
How do we get over procrastination and find the motivation to do the things we love?
October 28, 2018
Sexual Violence & PTSD
Kelly Vines tells her story about sexual assault and the aftermath which left her with post-traumatic stress disorder.
October 25, 2018
Validation + BPD, Anxiety, & Depression
Searching for validation from our parents can leave us wanting more but also teach us life lessons.
October 24, 2018
BPD Relationships
We discuss being in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder and the challenges that present themselves.
October 17, 2018
Misunderstandings & Misconceptions About Introverts & Extroverts
Just when you think you know someone, you find out an introvert or extrovert is not what you thought. Our special guest is the beautiful extrovert, Carmella Young.
October 15, 2018
Feelings in a Cold World
Are you ready to show your emotions? With all the negativity today, isn't it okay to be sensitive? Special guest: Issa the ISFJ
October 7, 2018
When you Succeed
What does it mean to be successful? Is it the things that you can see or how it makes you feel?
October 2, 2018
Standing up to Sigma
My husband Cristhtian, an INFJ, joins me to talk about stigma and how we can all learn from each other about the struggles we face if we take the time to be open.
September 29, 2018
What it's like to be friends with an INFP and someone with BPD, and why our emotions make us such good friends.
September 28, 2018
An introduction to INFP+BPD, explaining what the Meyer-Briggs personality type INFP means and what the mental disorder borderline personality disorder is. I also expalin what someone with these two characteristics can contribute to the world.
September 25, 2018