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[BRACKET!]

[BRACKET!]

By Solid Platinum Hit Machine

[BRACKET!] is a weekly podcast that uses the single greatest hierarchy method known to mankind (the Sweet 16 Bracket) to sort out the absolute best in all fields: movie quotes, periods of time, cereals, logos, philosphical concepts, and types of sharks. New episodes every Friday.

We are funded by our generous Patrons, including Gabe Silva, Jeff Criswell, Andrew Whipple, AverageJonah, Evan Baumel, GX Barnett, AnarchyMarie, Lindsay, Mikey Hall, Oliver Beattie, Ringthane, Tom Nemcek, and Michael Zavala.
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Currently playing episode

Episode #114 - Best Condiment

[BRACKET!]Apr 20, 2016

00:00
57:20
[BRACKET!] Presents...Setlist in Seattle

[BRACKET!] Presents...Setlist in Seattle

Presenting a special look at a new project. Please enjoy this very early pilot episode and be sure to search for Setlist in Seattle in the podcast client of your choice. Another new episode is available there starting Monday 8/17/2020.
Aug 16, 202001:21:41
Tournament of Tournament of Champions Champions

Tournament of Tournament of Champions Champions

Our journey comes to an end after six years of podcasting. Thank you for sticking with us for so long.
Feb 28, 202002:10:54
Episode #279 - Tournament of Champions XVI

Episode #279 - Tournament of Champions XVI

It's here! The penultimate episode of [BRACKET!]! And true to form we realize only at the moment of recording that we have seventeen winners to pick from this season. Oops!
Feb 15, 202001:43:06
Episode #278 - Best Second Place

Episode #278 - Best Second Place

One last shot at redemption! Fifteen second-place winners from previous Tournament of Champions episodes (plus one from a Patreon episode) battle it out for the chance to, uh, be in another Tournament of Champions!
Feb 08, 202001:49:37
Episode #277 - Best Joe Dirt Quote

Episode #277 - Best Joe Dirt Quote

You didn't ask for it, and yet we delivered! Chaos reigns.
Feb 01, 202001:12:18
Episode #276 - Best Return

Episode #276 - Best Return

Jesse gets married and we cobble together Frankenstein's athlete. I don't know what else to say about this one gang.
Jan 24, 202001:27:33
Episode #275 - Best Endangered Animal

Episode #275 - Best Endangered Animal

'Endangered' is just a smart person's term for "to-do list"
Dec 02, 201901:24:52
Episode #274 - Best Canned Food

Episode #274 - Best Canned Food

We're in pretty good spirits about this whole 'life in a bunker' situation as friend of the show MJ joins us to sort our favorite canned foods while we wait for the inevitable death of our planet's habitats!
Nov 22, 201901:05:58
Episode #273 - Best Cowboy

Episode #273 - Best Cowboy

Well hog-tie me up and slap me silly, I can't believe these here wet ears ain't done an episode about cowboys yet!
Nov 09, 201958:20
Episode #272 - Best Frank

Episode #272 - Best Frank

It's not technically Spooky Month anymore, but that doesn't stop us from recording one final formal Spooky Episode with special guest and friend of the show, MJ!
Nov 02, 201901:06:35
Episode #271 - Best Spooky Pokémon

Episode #271 - Best Spooky Pokémon

We record what is likely to be our final Pokémon episode and find out just which Pokémon makes existence on Pokémon Earth a nightmarish hellscape!

Oct 19, 201901:59:52
Episode #270 - Best Spooky Animal

Episode #270 - Best Spooky Animal

Cullen and Jesse are trapped alone in a haunted mansion full of sixteen of the creepiest crawliest animals you ever did see, and also since it's a haunted mansion I guess there's a ghost there or something I don't know.
Oct 12, 201901:11:16
Episode #269 - Best Penny Candy

Episode #269 - Best Penny Candy

Penny candies! You know, the candy you received on Halloween that makes you think "oh well, better luck at the next house I guess"?
Oct 05, 201901:07:19
Episode #268 - Best Reptile

Episode #268 - Best Reptile

FUN FACT: They often say [BRACKET!] is the reptile kingdom of podcasts, in that we're cold-blooded, covered in scales, and naturally regrow severed limbs in order to escape our natural predators!
Sep 22, 201901:24:03
Episode #267 - Best Video Game Sequel

Episode #267 - Best Video Game Sequel

They say first impressions are what counts most, but these video games would have you say otherwise. Specifically, they would have you say "let us grant you our money once more, as I would like to revisit your game brand". Join us to find out which game series has the best second date!
Sep 07, 201901:14:60
Episode #266 - Best Monkey

Episode #266 - Best Monkey

Technically yes the term 'monkey' does not cover every entry on this bracket and is a cartoonish oversimplification and Koko was a lovely and wonderful gorilla but this is a joke show for kidders and chucksters! We get a pass if we say it's a joke! JOKER in theaters October 4.
Aug 31, 201901:07:26
Episode #265 - Best Host

Episode #265 - Best Host

When you think about it...we're all just His guests. (Feat. Friend of the Show, Jordan Hass)
Aug 23, 201901:12:14
Episode #264 - Best Movie Starring An Animal

Episode #264 - Best Movie Starring An Animal

This episode was originally titled "Best Talking Animal" but as it turns out talking animals have very active and intimidating legal defense teams.
Aug 19, 201901:16:38
Episode #263 - Best Flavor

Episode #263 - Best Flavor

Please don't sue us Mr. Fieri.
Aug 11, 201901:14:48
Episode #262 - Tournament of Champions XV

Episode #262 - Tournament of Champions XV

How are there fifteen of these dang things? Probably shoulda been taken off the air by now I think.
Aug 03, 201901:25:18
Episode #261 - Best Summer Jam

Episode #261 - Best Summer Jam

You asked for it, and we listened: An episode of [BRACKET!] about summer jams.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Persia's audio was a real doozy to edit this week, folks, hence why the episode's up late.
Jul 29, 201901:05:44
Episode #260 - Best Modern Summer Jam

Episode #260 - Best Modern Summer Jam

See, this episode's gonna be fun because it's gonna age like The Picture of Dorian Gray next to the previous episode.
Jul 20, 201901:06:49
Episode #259 - Best Classic Summer Jam

Episode #259 - Best Classic Summer Jam

During this episode you may be asking yourself a question regarding the name of an entry on this list. The answer to that question, dear listener, is 55 minutes.
Jul 12, 201901:09:02
Episode #258 - Best Man

Episode #258 - Best Man

Jul 07, 201901:16:31
Episode #257 - Best Song of 2000

Episode #257 - Best Song of 2000

All the music you know and love that has certainly aged well is here and so are we, to get to the bottom of the best song of 2000. In no way shape or form did we mess this episode up. Prim and proper, these results are.
Jun 22, 201901:16:36
Episode #256 - Best Spider-Man Villain

Episode #256 - Best Spider-Man Villain

Sixteen spider super-villains are walkin' here! Join us, Willem Dafoe, and Michael Keaton in the Arachnid Arena to determine which Amazing Archnemesis reigns supreme!

Round 1:
Kraven vs Sandman | Mysterio vs Electro | Kingpin vs Vulture | Shocker vs Carnage | Rhino vs Green Goblin | Hobgoblin vs Doc Ock | Venom vs Lizard | Chameleon vs Black Cat
Jun 15, 201901:15:20
Episode #255 - Best Nickelodeon Live-Action Show

Episode #255 - Best Nickelodeon Live-Action Show

This episode started out as Best Nickelodeon Sitcom before we just started grouping everything in there. Join us in remembering the oft-remembered shows of Nickelodeon's past and present (but mostly past because the rest of you are too young to be listening to this podcast)
Jun 07, 201950:27
Episode #254 - Best PlayStation 1 Game

Episode #254 - Best PlayStation 1 Game

Cullen, Dan, and Jesse get together and talk about something they've been meaning to discuss for a long time: video games.
May 26, 201901:11:43
Episode #253 - Best Dream

Episode #253 - Best Dream

Dreams... where do they come from? And where do they go? Some say if you dream it, you can do it. Personally I don't see the logic in that, because I don't know how my elementary school bully is gonna pick me up and drop me into a grave, but hey, anything's possible.
May 19, 201956:30
Detective Pikachu Revue: Detective Pikachu (2019) Review

Detective Pikachu Revue: Detective Pikachu (2019) Review

Dan and Jesse review 2019's Summer Blockbuster, Ryan Reynold's Detective Pikachu.
May 19, 201928:23
Episode #251 - Best Color

Episode #251 - Best Color

Colors. We use 'em for categorization, but isn't it about time someone figured out what the best color is? Seeing as how no one in the history of time has ever contested this topic before, [BRACKET!] investigates.
May 12, 201901:04:42
Episode #250 - Best Jim Carrey

Episode #250 - Best Jim Carrey

"Ssssomebody's ssssssmokin' 'round here!" Yessir, we're all big Carreyheads aroiund here. "Sssssufferin' ssssuccotash!" The man looks to be as zany as ever in his upcoming role as Older Jim Carrey and we can't wait.
May 03, 201901:21:05
Episode #249 - Best MCU Avenger

Episode #249 - Best MCU Avenger

EDITOR'S NOTE: this episode was recorded before the release of Disney and Marvel's AVENGERS: ENDGAME and thus does not discuss a single plot point from said film, like how Danny Phantom shows up to replace Vision or how Antonio Man finds the hidden seventh Infinity Stone hidden deep within Thanos' rectum.
Apr 29, 201901:13:42
Episode #248 - Best Scott

Episode #248 - Best Scott

What's a folx to do when you got all these Scotts out there? Compare and contrast them, of course! Ranking arbitrary concepts based on intrinsic value is the only joy left to be found!
Apr 22, 201901:15:31
Episode #247 - Best Footwear

Episode #247 - Best Footwear

Have you ever thought "it sure does hurt to walk around in my bare feet, I wish they made some sort of protection for my sensitive feet"? Well you're in luck!
Apr 05, 201943:43
Episode #246 - Best (Current) WWE Women's Wrestler

Episode #246 - Best (Current) WWE Women's Wrestler

Dan's at PAX East and Persia's out of town, so it's up to them good ol' boys Cullen and Jesse to take the opportunity to make something the world has never seen before or since: a wrestling podcast.
Mar 29, 201950:31
#245 - [BRACKET!] Origins

#245 - [BRACKET!] Origins

We're taking a look brack! Recovered from the archives, enjoy this re-broadcast of the very first episode of [BRACKET!], recorded over five years ago when audio quality wasn't even a thing!
Mar 22, 201901:02:07
#244 - Best Fast Food Item

#244 - Best Fast Food Item

It's a dollar menu deathmatch as we kick off Sesason Fifteen with our favorite hot eats and cool treats! Join us for Jesse's least favorite hour of the week to find out which foods are best to dunk in a Frosty and who has the best fries in the biz!
Mar 15, 201901:05:42
Episode #243 - Tournament of Champions XIV

Episode #243 - Tournament of Champions XIV

The season fourteen finale, featuring your favorite normal adults who love the Tarzan soundtrack.

ROUND 1:
School of Rock vs Choco Taco | New Donk City vs Santa Monica | Heart (band) vs Strangers Like Me (Tarzan) | Nightmare Before Christmas vs Ice Cube | Cooking vs Face Masks | Tacos vs Cold Pizza | Commode vs 4th of July | Hamburglar vs Gudetama
Mar 08, 201901:18:50
Episode #242 - Best School

Episode #242 - Best School

Welcome to the first episode of March! Only brackets on this show. Yessiree. No dumb bits that would be exclusionary to new listeners. Absolutely not.
Mar 01, 201901:03:18
Episode #241 - Best Heart

Episode #241 - Best Heart

Sixteen sweethearts. Four Goofy impressions. One winner. Joe Manji.
Feb 22, 201901:16:36
Episode #240 - Best New Hobby For Jesse

Episode #240 - Best New Hobby For Jesse

Awww...intervention! Jesse has been spending a bit too much time with free-to-play shooters, so we've stacked sixteen new hobbies for Jesse in a bracket to find out which personal project will help Jesse in 2019! Will he be the next great geocacher, or Gordon Ramsay's new best friend? It probably won't be bowling, though, considering he got his hand stuck in the ball.
Feb 15, 201901:18:50
Episode #239 - Best Mode

Episode #239 - Best Mode

Hoo boy this is a sloppy one folks. Just a real nosedive into the mud. We took sixteen of our favorite....modes? And then Jesse fixed himself a drink? And then Persia fixed herself drink(s???)? You can try to put of scoop of ice cream on this episode but I'm not sure it'll make it go down easier.
Feb 08, 201901:11:38
Episode #238 - Best Night

Episode #238 - Best Night

It's time to party til the sun comes up as the sixteen best nights duke it out from dusk til dawn! Personally, nighttime has always been terrifying. I would wrap my head and neck in three blankets as a kid so vampires wouldn't be able to suck my blood while I slept. My parents were more concerned about me suffocating myself but I'm 26 and still vampire-free so who's laughing now?
Feb 01, 201959:10
Episode #237 - Best Thief

Episode #237 - Best Thief

Listen up, gumshoes! The [BRACKET!] Archive has been stolen, and it's up to you to figure out which of these sixteen sleezebags stole the shows! Could it have been Nic Cage from National Treasure, or that dastardly DILF y Hamburglar? Did Catwoman pull of this caper or was it the nerfarious NFL Referees? Wait, what do you mean "Jesse stole a belt buckle?" You don't think....it couldn't possibly be...
Jan 25, 201901:15:22
Episode #236 - Best Food

Episode #236 - Best Food

We've had a lot of fun over the years. We've done Best Cereal, Best Fast Food, Best Appetizer, Best Frozen Treat...but this? This episode? It's a no-holds-barred knife fight from start to finish. There is a standoff in the semifinals that I'm still upset about a week later. Brace yourself.
Jan 11, 201901:26:50
Episode #235 - Best New

Episode #235 - Best New

Should auld arguments be forgot
And ne'er brought to mind?
Screw that, never let grudges die
And auld lang syne.
Jan 04, 201901:01:45
Episode #234 - Best Santa

Episode #234 - Best Santa

Here comes Bracket Claus, here comes Bracket Claus, right down Bracket Claus Lane! It's a holly jolly free-for-all as sixteen Santas slide down the Challonge chimney to duke it out for seasonal supremacy. If we weren't already on the Naughty list, we sure as hell are on there now.
Dec 21, 201801:12:21
Episode #233 - Best Cold

Episode #233 - Best Cold

Time to crack open sixteen cold ones ‘cause it’s a frozen fight to the…death? Maybe not death. Sub-Zero and Mr. Freeze are on the bracket, but like, so are the Ice Climbers. I haven’t seen those cute little adventurers kill anyone.

Yet.
Dec 14, 201801:14:08
Episode #232 -  Best Disney Song

Episode #232 - Best Disney Song

Supersweetsixteenaliciousexpibrackadocious!
Even though this podcast thing
Is something quite atrocious!
If you listen loud enough
You’ll always get ferocious!
Supersweetsixteenaliciousexpibrackadocious!
Dec 07, 201801:22:52