By Dan McKenney
[BRACKET!] is a weekly podcast that uses the single greatest hierarchy method known to mankind (the Sweet 16 Bracket) to sort out the absolute best in all fields: movie quotes, periods of time, cereals, logos, philosphical concepts, and types of sharks. New episodes every Friday.
We are funded by our generous Patrons, including Gabe Silva, Jeff Criswell, Andrew Whipple, AverageJonah, Evan Baumel, GX Barnett, AnarchyMarie, Lindsay, Mikey Hall, Oliver Beattie, Ringthane, Tom Nemcek, and Michael Zavala.
We are funded by our generous Patrons, including Gabe Silva, Jeff Criswell, Andrew Whipple, AverageJonah, Evan Baumel, GX Barnett, AnarchyMarie, Lindsay, Mikey Hall, Oliver Beattie, Ringthane, Tom Nemcek, and Michael Zavala.
[BRACKET!] Presents...Setlist in Seattle
Presenting a special look at a new project. Please enjoy this very early pilot episode and be sure to search for Setlist in Seattle in the podcast client of your choice. Another new episode is available there starting Monday 8/17/2020.
August 16, 2020
Tournament of Tournament of Champions Champions
Our journey comes to an end after six years of podcasting. Thank you for sticking with us for so long.
February 28, 2020
Episode #279 - Tournament of Champions XVI
It's here! The penultimate episode of [BRACKET!]! And true to form we realize only at the moment of recording that we have seventeen winners to pick from this season. Oops!
February 15, 2020
Episode #278 - Best Second Place
One last shot at redemption! Fifteen second-place winners from previous Tournament of Champions episodes (plus one from a Patreon episode) battle it out for the chance to, uh, be in another Tournament of Champions!
February 08, 2020
Episode #277 - Best Joe Dirt Quote
You didn't ask for it, and yet we delivered! Chaos reigns.
February 01, 2020
Episode #276 - Best Return
Jesse gets married and we cobble together Frankenstein's athlete. I don't know what else to say about this one gang.
January 24, 2020
Episode #275 - Best Endangered Animal
'Endangered' is just a smart person's term for "to-do list"
December 02, 2019
Episode #274 - Best Canned Food
We're in pretty good spirits about this whole 'life in a bunker' situation as friend of the show MJ joins us to sort our favorite canned foods while we wait for the inevitable death of our planet's habitats!
November 22, 2019
Episode #273 - Best Cowboy
Well hog-tie me up and slap me silly, I can't believe these here wet ears ain't done an episode about cowboys yet!
November 09, 2019
Episode #272 - Best Frank
It's not technically Spooky Month anymore, but that doesn't stop us from recording one final formal Spooky Episode with special guest and friend of the show, MJ!
November 02, 2019
Episode #271 - Best Spooky Pokémon
We record what is likely to be our final Pokémon episode and find out just which Pokémon makes existence on Pokémon Earth a nightmarish hellscape!
October 19, 2019
Episode #270 - Best Spooky Animal
Cullen and Jesse are trapped alone in a haunted mansion full of sixteen of the creepiest crawliest animals you ever did see, and also since it's a haunted mansion I guess there's a ghost there or something I don't know.
October 12, 2019
Episode #269 - Best Penny Candy
Penny candies! You know, the candy you received on Halloween that makes you think "oh well, better luck at the next house I guess"?
October 05, 2019
Episode #268 - Best Reptile
FUN FACT: They often say [BRACKET!] is the reptile kingdom of podcasts, in that we're cold-blooded, covered in scales, and naturally regrow severed limbs in order to escape our natural predators!
September 22, 2019
Episode #267 - Best Video Game Sequel
They say first impressions are what counts most, but these video games would have you say otherwise. Specifically, they would have you say "let us grant you our money once more, as I would like to revisit your game brand". Join us to find out which game series has the best second date!
September 07, 2019
Episode #266 - Best Monkey
Technically yes the term 'monkey' does not cover every entry on this bracket and is a cartoonish oversimplification and Koko was a lovely and wonderful gorilla but this is a joke show for kidders and chucksters! We get a pass if we say it's a joke! JOKER in theaters October 4.
August 31, 2019
Episode #265 - Best Host
When you think about it...we're all just His guests. (Feat. Friend of the Show, Jordan Hass)
August 23, 2019
Episode #264 - Best Movie Starring An Animal
This episode was originally titled "Best Talking Animal" but as it turns out talking animals have very active and intimidating legal defense teams.
August 19, 2019
Episode #263 - Best Flavor
Please don't sue us Mr. Fieri.
August 11, 2019
Episode #262 - Tournament of Champions XV
How are there fifteen of these dang things? Probably shoulda been taken off the air by now I think.
August 03, 2019
Episode #261 - Best Summer Jam
You asked for it, and we listened: An episode of [BRACKET!] about summer jams. EDITOR'S NOTE: Persia's audio was a real doozy to edit this week, folks, hence why the episode's up late.
July 29, 2019
Episode #260 - Best Modern Summer Jam
See, this episode's gonna be fun because it's gonna age like The Picture of Dorian Gray next to the previous episode.
July 20, 2019
Episode #259 - Best Classic Summer Jam
During this episode you may be asking yourself a question regarding the name of an entry on this list. The answer to that question, dear listener, is 55 minutes.
July 12, 2019
Episode #258 - Best Man
July 07, 2019
Episode #257 - Best Song of 2000
All the music you know and love that has certainly aged well is here and so are we, to get to the bottom of the best song of 2000. In no way shape or form did we mess this episode up. Prim and proper, these results are.
June 22, 2019
Episode #256 - Best Spider-Man Villain
Sixteen spider super-villains are walkin' here! Join us, Willem Dafoe, and Michael Keaton in the Arachnid Arena to determine which Amazing Archnemesis reigns supreme! Round 1: Kraven vs Sandman | Mysterio vs Electro | Kingpin vs Vulture | Shocker vs Carnage | Rhino vs Green Goblin | Hobgoblin vs Doc Ock | Venom vs Lizard | Chameleon vs Black Cat
June 15, 2019
Episode #255 - Best Nickelodeon Live-Action Show
This episode started out as Best Nickelodeon Sitcom before we just started grouping everything in there. Join us in remembering the oft-remembered shows of Nickelodeon's past and present (but mostly past because the rest of you are too young to be listening to this podcast)
June 07, 2019
Episode #254 - Best PlayStation 1 Game
Cullen, Dan, and Jesse get together and talk about something they've been meaning to discuss for a long time: video games.
May 26, 2019
Episode #253 - Best Dream
Dreams... where do they come from? And where do they go? Some say if you dream it, you can do it. Personally I don't see the logic in that, because I don't know how my elementary school bully is gonna pick me up and drop me into a grave, but hey, anything's possible.
May 19, 2019
Detective Pikachu Revue: Detective Pikachu (2019) Review
Dan and Jesse review 2019's Summer Blockbuster, Ryan Reynold's Detective Pikachu.
May 19, 2019
Episode #251 - Best Color
Colors. We use 'em for categorization, but isn't it about time someone figured out what the best color is? Seeing as how no one in the history of time has ever contested this topic before, [BRACKET!] investigates.
May 12, 2019
Episode #250 - Best Jim Carrey
"Ssssomebody's ssssssmokin' 'round here!" Yessir, we're all big Carreyheads aroiund here. "Sssssufferin' ssssuccotash!" The man looks to be as zany as ever in his upcoming role as Older Jim Carrey and we can't wait.
May 03, 2019
Episode #249 - Best MCU Avenger
EDITOR'S NOTE: this episode was recorded before the release of Disney and Marvel's AVENGERS: ENDGAME and thus does not discuss a single plot point from said film, like how Danny Phantom shows up to replace Vision or how Antonio Man finds the hidden seventh Infinity Stone hidden deep within Thanos' rectum.
April 29, 2019
Episode #248 - Best Scott
What's a folx to do when you got all these Scotts out there? Compare and contrast them, of course! Ranking arbitrary concepts based on intrinsic value is the only joy left to be found!
April 22, 2019
Episode #247 - Best Footwear
Have you ever thought "it sure does hurt to walk around in my bare feet, I wish they made some sort of protection for my sensitive feet"? Well you're in luck!
April 05, 2019
Episode #246 - Best (Current) WWE Women's Wrestler
Dan's at PAX East and Persia's out of town, so it's up to them good ol' boys Cullen and Jesse to take the opportunity to make something the world has never seen before or since: a wrestling podcast.
March 29, 2019
#245 - [BRACKET!] Origins
We're taking a look brack! Recovered from the archives, enjoy this re-broadcast of the very first episode of [BRACKET!], recorded over five years ago when audio quality wasn't even a thing!
March 22, 2019
#244 - Best Fast Food Item
It's a dollar menu deathmatch as we kick off Sesason Fifteen with our favorite hot eats and cool treats! Join us for Jesse's least favorite hour of the week to find out which foods are best to dunk in a Frosty and who has the best fries in the biz!
March 15, 2019
Episode #243 - Tournament of Champions XIV
The season fourteen finale, featuring your favorite normal adults who love the Tarzan soundtrack. ROUND 1: School of Rock vs Choco Taco | New Donk City vs Santa Monica | Heart (band) vs Strangers Like Me (Tarzan) | Nightmare Before Christmas vs Ice Cube | Cooking vs Face Masks | Tacos vs Cold Pizza | Commode vs 4th of July | Hamburglar vs Gudetama
March 08, 2019
Episode #242 - Best School
Welcome to the first episode of March! Only brackets on this show. Yessiree. No dumb bits that would be exclusionary to new listeners. Absolutely not.
March 01, 2019
Episode #241 - Best Heart
Sixteen sweethearts. Four Goofy impressions. One winner. Joe Manji.
February 22, 2019
Episode #240 - Best New Hobby For Jesse
Awww...intervention! Jesse has been spending a bit too much time with free-to-play shooters, so we've stacked sixteen new hobbies for Jesse in a bracket to find out which personal project will help Jesse in 2019! Will he be the next great geocacher, or Gordon Ramsay's new best friend? It probably won't be bowling, though, considering he got his hand stuck in the ball.
February 15, 2019
Episode #239 - Best Mode
Hoo boy this is a sloppy one folks. Just a real nosedive into the mud. We took sixteen of our favorite....modes? And then Jesse fixed himself a drink? And then Persia fixed herself drink(s???)? You can try to put of scoop of ice cream on this episode but I'm not sure it'll make it go down easier.
February 08, 2019
Episode #238 - Best Night
It's time to party til the sun comes up as the sixteen best nights duke it out from dusk til dawn! Personally, nighttime has always been terrifying. I would wrap my head and neck in three blankets as a kid so vampires wouldn't be able to suck my blood while I slept. My parents were more concerned about me suffocating myself but I'm 26 and still vampire-free so who's laughing now?
February 01, 2019
Episode #237 - Best Thief
Listen up, gumshoes! The [BRACKET!] Archive has been stolen, and it's up to you to figure out which of these sixteen sleezebags stole the shows! Could it have been Nic Cage from National Treasure, or that dastardly DILF y Hamburglar? Did Catwoman pull of this caper or was it the nerfarious NFL Referees? Wait, what do you mean "Jesse stole a belt buckle?" You don't think....it couldn't possibly be...
January 25, 2019
Episode #236 - Best Food
We've had a lot of fun over the years. We've done Best Cereal, Best Fast Food, Best Appetizer, Best Frozen Treat...but this? This episode? It's a no-holds-barred knife fight from start to finish. There is a standoff in the semifinals that I'm still upset about a week later. Brace yourself.
January 11, 2019
Episode #235 - Best New
Should auld arguments be forgot And ne'er brought to mind? Screw that, never let grudges die And auld lang syne.
January 04, 2019
Episode #234 - Best Santa
Here comes Bracket Claus, here comes Bracket Claus, right down Bracket Claus Lane! It's a holly jolly free-for-all as sixteen Santas slide down the Challonge chimney to duke it out for seasonal supremacy. If we weren't already on the Naughty list, we sure as hell are on there now.
December 21, 2018
Episode #233 - Best Cold
Time to crack open sixteen cold ones ‘cause it’s a frozen fight to the…death? Maybe not death. Sub-Zero and Mr. Freeze are on the bracket, but like, so are the Ice Climbers. I haven’t seen those cute little adventurers kill anyone. Yet.
December 14, 2018
Episode #232 - Best Disney Song
Supersweetsixteenaliciousexpibrackadocious! Even though this podcast thing Is something quite atrocious! If you listen loud enough You’ll always get ferocious! Supersweetsixteenaliciousexpibrackadocious!
December 07, 2018
Episode #231 - Best Cube
Welcome, my friend. Come in from the cold and have no fear. We are always happy to welcome a new Child of the Cube into our flock. There is no war here. No famine. We have abandoned the primitive concepts of Good and Evil for the Six Sacred Sides. Shhhh…listen. Can you hear it? The hum of the Cube, calling on all of us to destroy the Sky Spheres?
November 30, 2018
Episode #230 - Best Egg
We’ve assembled all our best yolks for an eggcellent episode! Scramble together with your friends for an hour of Humpty Shaming, in-depth analysis of Reese’s Eggs, and a shocking revelation about how Yoshi turns enemies into eggs. I’m just saying…have you ever seen Yoshi use a restroom? Didn’t think so.
November 17, 2018
Episode #229 - Best Birthday
Cullen Jennings had a birthday this week, so we got him two amazing gifts to celebrate. Dan got him a new, much longer nickname than “Country Breakfast” and Persia got him a solid hour of really mean slams recorded live from a LAN Center. I’m not sure which he enjoyed more.
November 09, 2018
Episode #228 - Best Mask
For our final episode of Spooky Month, join the Snood Dudes as we head down to the Spirit Halloween store and throw our sixteen favorite masks in the cart! Gonna be honest, Ol’ Dan’s memory is getting a bit worse as he gets older so I kind of don’t remember any particular details about this episode except for Jesse burning me about Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze and a whole lot of Snood. Y’all think Batman can play Snood in his Batmobile? This is a dumb show.
October 26, 2018
Episode #227 - Best Chocolate
WELCOME TO THE SECOND SEASON OF ANIME! That's right, folks. The Anime Entry of the Week returns! Other topics discussed on this episode include: Explaining Harry Potter to Cullen, Milk Crimes, LG Chocolate Shop of Horrors, Choc-Talk with Dan, Would You Dumpster Dive For Yoo-Hoo?
October 19, 2018
Episode #226 - Tournament of Champions XIII
Hot Pockets vs. Big the Cat. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back). Sixteen episodes. Sixteen winners. It’s time to clean up this mess we made.
October 13, 2018
Episode #225 - Best Bat
WELCOME TO SPOOKY MONTH! For the first episode of the month, Jesse and Dan forgot that Persia was moving cross-country and Cullen was away at work. Are you terrified by the incompetence of two men? Is your spine tingling at the thought of an eight-entry bracket?
October 06, 2018
Episode #224 - Best Pink
When you’ve got nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea…hey! You’ve been listening to [BRACKET!] We’ve got sixteen of the prettiest pinks we could find and it’s time to see which salmon reigns supreme. And hey P.S. we talked to charity and you can donate to see Cullen face his fear.
September 28, 2018
Episode #223 - Best Spy
Gonna let y’all in on a little secret…[BRACKET!] has been infiltrated by spies. They attempted to sabotage our recording of this episode seven times. Not a joke. Honestly if Jesse is even able to release this episode, I’d be pretty damn impressed. Hoping for the best here, especially considering Cullen says something that will, without a doubt, be in the Bracket Hall of Fame.
September 23, 2018
Episode #222 - Best Pie
Oooh do you smell that? Float through the air with us and follow the scent lines to a hot fresh [BRACKET!] left on grandma’s windowsill to cool! We’ve got every pie in the sky set up in a delicious bracket with a buttery flaky crust. No soggy bottoms to be found here…well, except for Frito Pie I guess. That stuff is just sloppy. A bad bake.
September 14, 2018
Episode #221 - Best Video Game Pet
Some of you might have some questions. "Hey gang, where's Chao from Sonic the Hedgehog?" Or maybe "So what about Pikmin? Or Kinectimals?" Well, your father and I need to talk to you about that. All your favorites are lined up out back behind the barn. Winter is approaching and we need to start preserving food. The almanac says it's going to be a rou-- what did I tell you about crying? Take this hatchet and get out there right now, young man.
September 07, 2018
Episode #220 - Best Bald
It's time to polish those skulls and shine those...skulls. We've got sixteen of the most excellent eggheads we could find in the follicle-free world. Elmer Fudd faces off against The Pacifier! Voldemort vs. Thanos! Professor X (wow, again, huh) takes on that scene from the Spongebob Movie with King Neptune! It's an hour more electrifying than those balls filled with static at the science museum!
August 31, 2018
Episode #219 - Best House
It's time to stop being polite and start getting real as we tour the sixteen best houses on the block! From Spongebob's pineapple to Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Children, you're sure to have a grand ol' time until Jesse starts a bit where humans have shells. Then this show becomes pretty upsetting to listen to. I was on the call like a week ago and I'm still thinking about it.
August 24, 2018
Episode #218 - Best Cat
Janel SantaCruz from HyperRPG returns to [BRACKET!] to help us figure out which of these sixteen furballs is the finest feline of them all! Join us for a brain-melting hour of MC Skat Kat lore, DragonBall lexicography, Sonic Adventure karaoke, and a status report on Mike Myers (are you out there, Mike?). Join us after the credits for a BEEPing good game!
August 17, 2018
Episode #217 - Best Pocket
With: Cullen, Jesse, and Persia It's super hard to write these episode descriptions when you're not actually on the episode. From what I've gathered, this one is about pockets. Let's go ahead and look at the entries here...Hot Pockets of course. Pocket Monster, yup on brand. Pocket full of sunshine! Eclectic. Pocket rocket...hmm never heard of that. Let me just go ahead and take a big sip of coffee before I Google this.
August 10, 2018
Episode #216 - BONUS: Best Bop-It Action
We pulled it! Technical difficulties and Some Hijinx led to us releasing this March 2018 Bonus Episode from the Bracket Vault. Please enjoy our months old discussion covering Burnout Paradise, summoning up the comedy strength for Marvel villains, various types of pockets, and Jesse's Ant Crimes. The 8-entry bracket officially starts just after 34:23 mark.
August 10, 2018
Episode #215 - Best Pop
They say my podcast is cool, my podcast be poppin'. I'm standing at my locker and all the boys keep stopping. I got nothing else for y'all in this episode description other than to say if you think Funko Pops are disgusting, just wait 'til you hear how many Cullen owns.
July 27, 2018
Episode #214 - Best Sleep
With: Cullen, Jesse, Dan, and Persia The gang's all here and ready to put you to sleep! So find a cozy spot to curl up with a good podcast. Your favorite nook in the corner of the couch. Out on the grass under the stars. Maybe you've got a nice hammock nearby? No matter where you choose to visit Dream Land, we hope you're able to sit back, relax, close your eyes, and listen to a soothing hour of loud, grating Willem Dafoe impressions.
July 20, 2018
Episode #213 - Best Song of 1997
[BRACK]street's Back, alright! Take a trip down 90s playlist lane with us to the year Princess Diana died--not sure how I felt about that one as I typed it. Well the backspace key is broken so I guess I just gotta keep typing about events of 1997 until it all evens out. Daria. Batman and Robin with George Clooney. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. We hit quota yet? Gonna hope so.
July 13, 2018
Episode #212 - Best America
Happy 6th of July, or as we like to call it in large metropolitan areas, Happy 22nd Day Straight of Fireworks. It's been so long since we've had a still night where the stars aren't obstructed by the Devil's Fireflies and the cicadas soft cries drowned out by Cerberus's howls. Some nights I hope to see the moon. Some nights I hope the blasts will make me forget how far we've fallen. The sun is setting. I wonder what tonight will be.
July 06, 2018
Episode #211 - Best First Job
With: Cullen, Jesse, Dan Listen...now that it's summertime and you're out of school, your Mom and I are gonna need you to pitch in a bit around here. Maybe you could apply to the supermarket across town by Lorie's house? They're always.........honey I don't know what "Twitch" is. Do they pay by the hour? That's not the kind of pitching in I meant. No we're not going to buy you an L-Got-Oh so why don't you get an L-Job-Oh.
June 29, 2018
Episode #210 - Best Thing About Being a Kid
I don't wanna grow up (don't wanna grow up)! I don't wanna grow up (don't wanna grow up)! I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' -- Oh. Right. Well, uh...let's just forget about the death of a treasured childhood location and instead focus on sixteen other amazing things about being a child! Cullen will regale you with tales about what it was like growing up in 1807. Plus: A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS AND JOINS [BRACKET!]. Who could it be? Oh, the suspense!
June 26, 2018
Episode #209 - Best Pastry
Remember that time Jesse said chips without cheese are nachos? Do you remember that? Remember how you thought it couldn't really get worse? The good ol' days where all was right in the world? Just treasure that memory of a pre-Jesse-creampuff-without-cream world. Hold on tight to it. Never let it go.
June 22, 2018
Episode #208 - Tournament of Champions XII
You know how in movies sometimes when a character is near death or going through a crisis, and suddenly every choice they made and regret in life they had confronts them in a cold dark ether of nothingness? That's basically what the Tournament of Champions is like. Plus, it's an E3 karaoke jamboree in the end-of-show game as we learn together what it sounds like when the soundboard gets out of sync.
June 15, 2018
Episode #207 - Best Office Supply
Before we began recording, Jesse fixed himself a little cocktail of Fireball and Pepsi Max. Turns out this is the secret potion that turns Jesse into an angry stand-up comic from Boston we now know as The Blast Master, and he's got opinions about office birthday cards. Stick around at the end of the show for a new game called If I Could Turn Back Time. Or "Audio Nightmare" might be more fitting.
June 08, 2018
Episode #206 - Best Summer Blockbuster
Sixteen movies standing in a row Sixteen movies, fifteen have to go But if instead of A New Hope The Phantom Menace makes the show... Then there'll be fifteen movies standing in a row.
June 01, 2018
Episode #205 - Best Jewelry
Cullen Jennings returns with a fresh new [BRACKET!]! Oh, but you thought the old lady dropped it in the ocean at the end? Well baby, we went down and got it for you. Join us for a polished hour of comedy as we take these 16 pieces of jewelry to the local pawn shop to see if we can buy a Nintendo or something. Guy says this Millennium Puzzle is going to sit on his shelf for months waiting for \*one\* person who \*might\* buy it, but I've done my homework and there are people selling Millennium Eyes on eBay for like $10,000.
May 25, 2018
Episode #204 - Best Book You Had To Read In School
That's right slackers, it's time for a pop quiz on the sixteen storybooks you were assigned at the start of the summer. 1984, The Scarlet Letter, Of Mice & Men....why do you look confused? Don't tell me you forgot? Oh for the love of god. We invited special guest and friend of the show Dr. Alex Roederer to today's class and...wait. Where's Cullen Jennings? It's the first day of the semester, people.
May 11, 2018
Episode #203 - Best Dance
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues with these sweet sixteen steps! Join us as we learn how to channel Necromoshing magic, confess long repressed group-dance anxieties, and bond over the weirdest use of federally-mandated physical education time.
April 27, 2018
Episode #202 - Cullen's Monster Mash & Does Jesse Own This Art Book?
We were all set to record a new episode of [BRACKET!] for you. We really were. A nice, sweet sixteen showdown like we've done for the past four years. Then a tornado touched down a couple miles from Cullen and took out all his power and internet. Lost without our fearless leader, Jesse and I did what we do best: fiddly-fart, have a panic attack, and test our game show pilots on each other. Sorry for \*THE TORNADO\*.
April 20, 2018
Episode #201 - Best Island
Dan left to go to PAX East this week and didn't draft up the episode page like he normally does, so it's Jesse at the helm making the page this week! How will it turn out? He's never actually used Squarespace extensively before and he doesn't have a whole lot of time before he's gotta go to work, so probably as minimally as possible. Oh well! \* Donate to our Patreon \* Subscribe via RSS \* Review us in iTunes \* Follow us on Twitter \* Suggest a Topic
April 06, 2018
Episode #200 - Best Casual Dining Establishment RESET
It's our first-ever [BRACKET!] Reset! Special Guest and friend of the show Brennan Williams returns to help us right the wrongs of podcast history as we HD Remaster our very first episode! Join us for an hour of new entries, old grudges, and dark confessions of solo dining. When you're here, you're family...and that means you need to lend me twenty bucks.
March 30, 2018
Episode #199 - Best Marvel Cinematic Universe Villain
It's a Stan Lee villainy grand prix as sixteen silver screen evil dreams...something...look. Writing engaging copy for these things gets real fuckin' old after 199 of these things. I could crack some jokes about how the Red Skull looks like a classic Jim Carrey character or about how Hela makes me Feel Things but honestly would you even read it? Just click the play button and reminisce about how the connection we used to have, between you and me, An Episode Description.
March 23, 2018
Episode #198 - Best New Super Smash Bros. Character
Sixteen new challengers have appeared! We've obtained \*EXCLUSIVE\* access to this year's Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo Switch thanks to you, our listeners! When Masahiro Sakurai found out we asked every listener who submitted a topic suggestion "Who should Sakurai add to Smash?" AND that we kept all that data saved in a Google Doc, he practically begged us for the list. While we won't be spoiling every new character, we're excited to share these sixteen! Please look forward to more info about the game this year at E3!
March 16, 2018
Episode #197 - Best Best Picture
This past Sunday, the most prestigious award show in the industry took place. I am, of course, talking about the recording of this podcast in our respective broom closets where we argued over 15 Best Picture Oscar Winners and 1 Goosebumps Book Cover. Be sure to listen carefully for dark secrets about the infamous "Best Will Smith" episode...unless Jesse edited it out, in which case, just enjoy the show I guess.
March 09, 2018
Episode #196 - Best Sesame Street Character
Sixteen! Sixteen Sesame Street Characters facing off in a brutal fight to the death, ah ah ah! This episode is brought to you by the letter "B!" You know...like [BRACKET!] and "what color is a puppet's Blood" and "Big Bird's terrifying thunder legs." Plus: which Muppet is actually a Romanian man in disguise? Find out on the only podcast brave enough to have an episode description where only two sentences actually build off the one prior!
March 02, 2018
Episode #195 - Special: Best Song of 2006 Cold Open
Dan was stranded with a broken down car for a few days, so we weren't able to get a proper episode together. Please enjoy the full pre-show chatter from Episode #193 - Best Song of 2006. Originally we were going to do Best One-Hit Wonder, but then it turned into an impromptu karaoke session / Mark Wahlberg slam-fest.
February 23, 2018
Episode #194 - Best Winter Olympic Sport
(CW: This episode was recorded on Sunday, February 11, before this week's massacre in Florida. During segments involving the Biathalon, we made several jokes around the concept of various sports adding guns to their rules. Considering the completely avoidable tragedy in the only country where this happens with alarming regularity, we wanted to give you a heads up before listening.) \*FANFARE\* We're coming to you LIVE from Pyeongchang for the 2018 Winter Olympic Games! The three least athletic boys you've ever met in your life are ready to sweep some ice, do just an awful lot of skiing, and skeleton straight into the trash can at record speeds! Be sure to enjoy all the sights, sounds, and spirit of the games whi-- oh god. Don't look. It's Shaun White. If you make eye contact, you will turn into stone.
February 16, 2018
Episode #193 - Best Song Of 2006
I'm bringing [BRACKET!] back (yea!) with sixteen smash hit singles from 2006! Time travel with us to the Year of the Wii, sync your iPod Video to iTunes, open up the dirty window, and let this list illuminate the words that you cannot find. Also you need to be reminded that George W. Bush wasn't that great. Get in the time machine, Kevin. This is not a discussion.
February 02, 2018
Episode #192 - Best Number
According to our Slack archive, John first pitched Best Number in 2015, and then proceeded to include it in topic pitches fifteen more times after that. That's a total of sixteen pitches, by my math. We could have done Best Time John Pitched Best Number. There wouldn't have been any room for Halo 2, 420, and Dale Earnhardt though. We'll go back to the drawing board.
January 26, 2018
Episode #191 - Best Teacher
Class is in session as Friend of the Show MJ returns to [BRACKET!] for a tumultuous tenured tussle! Sixteen of your favorite teachers from TV, Movies, and The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl duke it out in our teacher's lounge from hell to see which fictitious faculty member is top of the class. Also: if someone has seen Cullen, please let us know. His family is worried sick.
January 19, 2018
Episode #190 - Best Gas Station Snack
The best b-team in the business is taking over the podcast this week while Cullen and Jesse recuperate from MAGFest! Join Dan, Diana, Colin, and Zakira on our own Canterbury Tales-esque trip to the gas station on the corner. We're gonna need you to distract the teen at the county while we fill these 40s with Slurp. Come on don't be a baby just do it.
January 12, 2018
Episode #189 - Tournament of Champions XI
Once again, as is tradition, we have summoned the winners of Season 11 to our Bracketorial Battlefield to fight to the death. Sixteen will enter. Only one will join the Bracket Pantheon of Tournament of "Tournament of Champions" Champions. It probably will not be Massachusetts. We also end this season with a fond farewell to one of the founding members of [BRACKET!].
January 05, 2018
Episode #187 - Best Christmas Thang
WOW! How great is it to say "Christmas" without worrying about the liberal coastal elites being bussed in to my neighborhood by George Soros to kill my dog and drain my pool? Anyways it's time for a holiday themed episode, so grab a cup of cheer. After this season, you're gonna need it.
December 22, 2017
Episode #186 - Best Fish
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but unfortunately we were only able to catch 16 for this [BRACKET!]. Well, actually, we really only caught one. Turns out fishing isn't so much "fun" as it is "the worst thing you can do with your time." The rest we got from various pieces of pop culture and the McDonald's Lemme Get a McPick 2 menu. I got eight Filet-o-Fishs for $20 and change, so eat up.
December 15, 2017
Episode #185 - Best Box Office Flop
It's a Cinematic Cult Classic Clash on [BRACKET!] this week as John, Jesse, and Cullen duke it out over...wait sorry. This list says "Treasure Planet" and "Speed Racer." What the hell is this. What happened guys? Did y'all just look at the last sixteen Mondo posters and make a -- FIGHT CLUB!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME
December 09, 2017
Episode #184 - Best Smell
\*sniff sniff\* oh jeez. Y'all smell that? \*sniff\* Yeah smells like another stinker from your friends at [BRACKET!]. But wait! What's this? Special Guest, prodigal son, and co-founder of [BRACKET!] Greg L. Mercer joins us this week! And he brought fresh baked cinnamon rolls! Let's take a whiff of -- OH GOD THESE SMELL BAD TOO.
December 01, 2017
Episode #183 - Best Ice Cream Flavor
Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you all enjoyed a lovely sundae at the local scoop shop with your family and friends, as is tradition every 4th Thursday in November. Did you all go around the toppings bar and say what you're thankful fo-- okay. We forgot to make this a themed episode. There. You got us. Whoopie. Eat your damn ice cream.
November 25, 2017
Episode #182 - Best State
Fun thing about America: there's 16 states. We do a podcast where we take 16 entries and debate about them in a single-elimination bracket. It might be a controversial episode considering the recent territorial tension between STEMtucky and The Under Realm in this new America, but please just remember we had no say in this. You think we wanted North Dakota and Idaho to merge into Thurtagen? WE DIDN'T WANT THIS EITH-- \*signal lost\*
November 18, 2017
Episode #181 - Best SNES Game
Now you're playing with Super Power! The fifteen best Super Nintendo games plus Star Fox face off in a Super Sweet 16-Bit Bracket to determine which cartridge is king. If this is your last episode of the show, we understand. Can only push the envelope so far, y'know.
November 10, 2017
Episode #180 - Best Nicktoon
The 90s are back and better than ever as we face sixteen of the most iconic Nickelodeon IPs off in a cartoon clash! We need to wrap up by 9 PM though. Full House is coming on and it's the early episodes where Jesse has a completely different name. ANNOUNCEMENT: We're moving to Fridays for new episodes! Thanks for your understanding \
November 03, 2017
Episode #179 - Best Lair
Gonna be honest with you -- at one point, we stop the show to play HQ. I don't know how it happened and I was there for the whole thing. Cullen shows up twenty minutes late and is like "hey heads up we gotta stop at 9 to play this iPhone game" and if I kept it all in the show, it would have been a three hour podcast. None of us won the cash prize, by the way. Stay tuned at the end for a couple Special Announcements!
October 26, 2017
Episode #178 - Best Halloween Song
It's a graveyard smash as Lori Beth Denberg and Steve Starkins from Lost Treasure Of The Valley join us to put a spell on you! This episode is creepy, cooky, mysterious, spooky....you name it. So if there's something strange in your neighborhood, put on this episode, because it's most likely Cullen and he gets easily confused.
October 12, 2017
Episode #177 - Best Disney Channel Original Movie
Let's watch a Disney Channel Movie with Lucas and Emma from DCOMedy! Sixteen of them, to be exact. For the first time ever, ALL of your favorites are on here! We've got This Horny House, Phantom of the Opera But For Kids, Teen Wolf in March, Teen Wolf in Water, Fingernail Wizards...as John Ryan Abbott would say, "The 90s are back."
September 20, 2017
Episode #176 - Best Thing About Fall
It's the (second) most wonderful time of the year! Bring your best flannel and join us around the bonfire for some hot cider. Hey one thing you have to know, though....on your way up here, you're gonna have to drive around this Oktoberfest thing. Whatever you do, do \*NOT\* stop. There will be dead bodies in the road -- this is a trick. They are alive. Do not exit the vehicle, and please do NOT take off your shoes. That's how they get their power. Okay so call me when you get this and we'll see you there.
September 15, 2017
Episode #175 - Best Ant
See, because last week we did "Best Uncle" and so like, this week we're doing Ants. It's one of my favorite jokes, a homophone joke. This is probably the point where Cullen would chime in and say something along the lines of "You can't say that, Dan" but Cullen doesn't write these posts and for damn good reason.
September 06, 2017
Episode #174 - Best Uncle
Your four favorite uncles are back at it again! Also they're moving in and living in the basement, the attic, and your childhood bedroom. Look, the situation isn't exactly ideal for us either. You think we want to drive you to school? I'd much rather be out there finding lost treasures and becoming a rock star.
August 30, 2017
Episode #173 - Best Sonic the Hedgehog Character
Sixteen of SEGA's anthropomorphic animals go up but only one can come down as the winner of the worst episode idea we've ever had. Follow me through an hour of regrets, set me free from John's deep well of Sonic lore, and trust me that we will escape from this mp3. We all will just have to live and leaHEYBIGCATHEYLITTLEGUYCANYOUTELLMEWHATSINSIDE
August 23, 2017
Episode #172 - Best Place at the Mall Food Court
Quick question before you start this episode: would you order the baked ziti from Sbarro? Like...and remember, this is just hypothetical...say they had every kind of pizza on the menu ready to go. Just out of the oven, hot and fresh. A veritable buffet of pizza. And sitting at the end of the counter, under a single heat lamp beating down like the summer sun on the side of a barn, is the baked ziti. Would you order it? Weird Q, I know, but you gotta figure out the answer for yourself before you click play.
August 16, 2017
Episode #171 - Tournament of Champions X
It's time once again. Sixteen winners face off in an epic Tournament of Champions [BRACKET!] to claim eternal glory and enter the hollowed grounds of Tournament of "Tournament of Champions" Champions alongside Clone High, Hammerhead Sharks, and \*sigh\* Dan McKenney.
August 09, 2017
Episode #170 - Best Mascot
It's a Brand Battle Royale on this week's [BRACKET!] to determine which corporate conception can always close the deal. Join us as we create our own Flo-sonas, discover the origins (and death?) of Grimace, and revisit our favorite minor-league mascot, Southpaw the Lynchburg Hlllcat.
August 02, 2017
Episode #169 - Best Boy
The boys are back in town, with Friend of the Show Will Kusleika.
July 26, 2017
Episode #168 - Best Carnival Ride
MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians and Can't Let Go - A Nashville CMT Podcast rolls into town with the county fair, bringing sixteen iconic rides to our Miserable Midway! Get ready to Tilt-a-Hurl with us as we explore the psyche of a traumatized young Dan, jump into some Bullying Machines, and float down a nasty river in a big splinter boat (look out for the camera!). Quick note: the guest's audio skips from time to time. It's not show-ruining, but just so you know it's not your audio player messing up. At one point the audio switches over to our backup of our backup and it's smooth sailing from there.
July 12, 2017
Episode #167 - Best Cake
In honor of America's birthday, we've put together the sixteen best kinds of cake in a dessert duel to the death to determine which slice reigns supreme! Also in this episode is a shocking revelation about the Virginia Dairy Queen, Boston-style birthday cake, and even a musical number.
July 04, 2017
Episode #166 - Best TV Theme Song
Fallon from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us to find out whatever happened to predictability and determine which TV theme is the very best like no one ever was! Nobody told you the podcast was gonna be this way, but life is like a hurricane here in Bracketburg. Sit your booty in a floor or in a chair while I tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. We promise you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
June 28, 2017
Episode #165 - Best Trio
Okay so let's just be honest with each other here: we forgot about Destiny's Child. And that's a felony. Even worse, we have Ed, Edd, and Eddy on this list \*instead\* of Destiny's Child, which is a war crime. So now we're on the lamb and looking for a place to crash while this all dies down. If you happen to have a porch or shed we can hide under, please send us an email.
June 21, 2017
BONUS -- Best Bonez
We weren't able to get together to record a new episode this week (sorry!) so please enjoy the very first BONUS EPISODE of [BRACKET!] -- Best Bonez! This episode was previously only available to Patreon backers, and features John Ryan Abbott, Jesse Knowles, Cullen Jennings, and Greg L. Mercer.
June 14, 2017
Episode #164 - Best Pixar Movie
Ka-chow! We threw every Pixar movie released at time of recording (except Cars 2, don't @ me) into our patented Sweet 16 [BRACKET!], turned the dang thing on, and let 'er rip through each 90-minute romp to determine the best of the bunch. Join us on a journey of animated self-discovery where we ponder the morality of Toy Story and rewrite Frasier (classic Pixar buddy comedy) as an anime.
June 08, 2017
Episode #163 - Best Disney Princess
Stand-up comics Vanessa Gritton and Jessica Singer be our guests and help answer two simple questions: which Disney Princess reigns supreme, and if ye had ah chahnce te change yer fayte....wood ye? Join us as we embark on a journey to discover the colors of the wind, change who our reflection shows, go from Zero to Hero, and travel to a galaxy far, far away. Canonically Star Wars now exists in the same universe as Mickey Mouse. Sorry. Not our fault.
May 31, 2017
Episode #162 - Best Food At a Barbecue
Come on down to our Memorial Day BBQ! Returning guest Gabe Silva brought some gout-inducing pulled pork, and Janette Goering picked up a case of ice pops and a whole thing of cornbread. Oh, and you have \*got\* to try the white-people kimchi Uncle Dan brought. It'll hold you over while Cousin John gets those adult front ribs fired up on the grill.
May 24, 2017
Episode #161 - Best MTV Original Series
Coming fresh off the NEXT bus is Special Guest MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians with a Super Sweet Sixteen of the best TV shows to grace the afterschool airwaves! Hop on in to our Pimped out Ride while we hunt down some Catfish, pull some pranks with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, and move into a house with seven strangers. The strangers, by the way, include Ozzy Osbourne and Carson Daly.
May 17, 2017
Episode #160 - Best Overwatch Hero
Cheers, love! The cavalry's here! After an incredibly heated debate, we selected sixteen of Blizzard Entertainment's most smoochable heroes to battle it out in what Jesse describes as "the most fucked [BRACKET!] yet." Will justice reign from above, or will it be time to amp it up? Does Roadhog secretly have Daredevil powers? Listen to find out the answers to these questions and more! The more, btw, is John's Evil-Winston fanfic.
May 10, 2017
Episode #159 - Best Eye
Sound.wav's Nell Bailey makes a terrible mistake and joins us for a no-good very bad episode all about everyone's favorite organ: eyes! John summons a Blue Eyes White Dragon while placing a Trap Card face-down. Cullen changes the lyrics, title, and really the whole meaning of Brown-Eyed Girl. Jesse gives Sauron new powers. Dan has regrets.
May 03, 2017
Episode #158 - Best Dog
Billy Gagon from Dingo Dog Brewing Co. returns after a 135 episode hiatus for what may be one of our wildest episodes ever. No, really. Maybe don't start with this one as your first episode. John wills a meme into existence while Jesse tries to reclaim "Doggy-Style" as a hip new phrase all the teens are saying. Cullen takes a deep dive into the Baha Men. Dan is just happy to talk about the 100 Good Deeds of Eddie McDowd.
April 26, 2017
Episode #157 - Best Queen Song
Special guest MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us princes of the universe for a crazy little thing called [BRACKET!] to pick the Best Queen Song! The gang feels under pressure with so many killer Queen songs, but we somehow manage to break free because the show must go on. If anyone can figure out how to fit "Flash's Theme" into this post organically, they can have my hosting spot permanently.
April 19, 2017
Episode #156 - Best School Lunch
Abed Gheith returns to kick off Season Ten and help decide which iconic school lunch will be this month's Manager Special. John eats lunch in the bathroom while Cullen feeds people knuckle sandwiches. Jesse finds a surprise inside his chicken patty, and Dan once fished a sandwich out of the trash can and nobody saw EXCEPT MIKE IN SECOND GRADE who just \*had\* to tell a lunch monitor because he's a little dirtbag.
April 12, 2017
Episode #155 - Tournament of Champions IX
The Tournament of Champions is our end-of-season battle royale where the 16 winners of Season 9 face off to be crowned Best of the Season. With only four hosts, there's only one way to break ties: calling random people in our contact lists. No, really. That's a thing we did. I called my brother.
April 05, 2017
Episode #154 - Best Fantasy Race
Colin Padgett Arnold, our resident Bestiary expert and co-host of Creature Culture, joins our medieval melee that will separate the orcs from the elves and the merfolk from the WaveRace64s. Honestly this entire bracket is just one big excuse for us to debate Giants vs. Smurfs, slam dunk on some Gorons, and make references to our Dungeons & Dragons adventures. Stick around at the end to prepare for next week's Tournament of Champions!
March 29, 2017
Episode #153 - Best Dan
Dan went to Boston to be with the rats, so Cullen, John, and Jesse recorded a very special episode that definitely did not hurt Dan's feelings at all. Made of steel, that boy. Very large, unwieldy steel. Anyways, now's a great time to pop open some Danimals Drinkable Yogurt while we reflect on TV's greatest dad (Danny Tanner), TV's worst dad (Danny DeVito), and a whole bunch of other white dudes named Dan. Guys what the heck happened.
March 22, 2017
Episode #152 - Best Superhero Costume
We like to think of [BRACKET!] as a judgement-free zone...like Planet Fitness! But less pizza and there's no weird alarm on the wall. When special guest Albro Lundy gets upset with our encyclopedic knowledge of Power Rangers and Captain Underpants lore, he violates the circle of trust we've worked so hard to build. Thought we were friends, dude. Anyways, yes Spider-Gwen is on the bracket. Don't tweet us ever again.
March 15, 2017
Episode #151 - Best Adventurer
Cameron Kunzelman joins us and 16 of the Best Adventurers on an odyssey to steal the Declaration of Independence! Danger will most certainly be faced head-on while the toughest of choices will be made! Does Link have what it takes to defeat Nathan Drake? Is Bear Grylls a big fat liar? Did Dan seriously believe Dora the Explorer could hear his responses when he talked to the TV? The answers to these questions and so much more await you in Journey To The Center Of The [BRACKET!]. Ask your parents to pick up a copy today!!
March 08, 2017
Episode #150 - Best Bug
Esabelle Ryngin (science cartoonist, entemologist, and co-creator of Bugs and Kisses) joins us to metamorphose this bad podcast into a good one and help decide which of these sixteen entries is the ideal insect! Fair warning: there's a lot of Bug's Life talk. Cullen also picked up an entire anthill and put it in a shoebox under his bed, so that might be uncomfortable to hear about. Just want to make sure we cover all the bases.
March 01, 2017
Episode #149 - Best Tom Hanks
[BRACKET!] is like a box of chocolates: about half of 'em are filled with stuff you hate. The other half are palatable enough, like this episode. It could be because special guest Blythe Roberson is here to help pilot this crashing podcast into the Hudson River before we go up in flames hunting for the Tru Tru. You've got a friend in us, listener. We really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you.
February 22, 2017
Episode #148 - Best Clown (3rd Anniversary Special)
Greg L. Mercer, co-founding member of [BRACKET!] and co-host of the Transformers podcast Sound.wav, returns for our birthday party! And he brought sixteen clowns with him. Isn't that thoughtful? Everyone be sure to say thank you to the newest member of the Insane Clown Posse before they all go missing, rapture-style.
February 15, 2017
Episode #147 -- Best Duck
I hope y'all are ready to have your minds blown by the incredible audio technology we have at our disposal. After we lost 23 minutes of Jesse's audio, we spent $10,000 on digitally recreating the voice of Jesse Knowles. It's incredible, we can make it sound like Jesse is saying anything. I'm going to have him read the script to Ellen's Energy Adventure ride at Epcot next. Oh and get ready to talk about some ducks with our good friend and Pokemon Researcher Dr. Alex Roederer.
February 08, 2017
Episode #146 - Best Appetizer
Comedian and writer Meg Favreau is here to help convince Jesse that you can't call a bowl of plain tortilla chips "nachos." No really. That's a thing we have to do. And we're all going to chip in and do our part to help Jesse overcome this CERTIFIABLY WILD idea. Oh, and Cullen doesn't know what poutine is. Meg shares where you can find the best Nebraskan Cheese Bread. Worth the drive, 5/5 on Yelp.
February 01, 2017
Episode #145 - Best Fictional Sport
Special Guest and Very Good KicksMan Chris Kluwe returns to pit bloodsport against laser tag against the laziest game J.K. Rowling could have invented...okay. Woof. I'm sorry. I can't keep writing this episode description pretending we didn't goof this bracket up real bad. And I know you're thinking "Hey par for the course for you chucklefucks" but like....MAN. WOOF. Swing and a miss.
January 25, 2017
Episode #144 - Best Original Pokemon
Whoa what are you doing!?! You're supposed to throw it at the Mewtwo! Not...oh my god STOP. Special Guest Abigail Tyson from Adult Swim Games joins us again to completely ruin all of your favorite Pokemon from Red & Blue. Just destroy them. Ravage them from the inside out. Fuck them \*up\*.
January 18, 2017
Episode #143 - Best Paw & John's Season of Changes
Hello new listener! Maybe don't start with this episode because BOW HOWDY is it a rough one to start with. Our guest went missing this week, so we did the most reasonable thing: recorded ourselves talking about nonsense for about 50 minutes, then doing a 20-minute four entry bracket. Please enjoy this look behind the scenes at what goes down before we start an episode, from building a Best Fictional Sport bracket to John signing up for a Crunchyroll account.
January 11, 2017
Episode #142 - Best Loser
"All of you!" Wow. Harsh. We were thinking, like, maybe Charlie Brown or Eeyore but okay. Special guest Claire Friedman is here with us, so congrats on not taking her feelings into consideration before throwing your sticks and stones. Really expected better from you listeners by this point. Shame on me, I guess.
January 04, 2017
Episode #141 - Best Junk
Please don't feel bad about holding on to hundreds of Pokemon cards for years. Or the pile of Funko Pops collecting dust on your shelf. Or your collection of Doctor Who shirts from Teefury. At least you didn't eat a Yu-Gi-Oh! card live on-air while recording a comedy podcast.
December 28, 2016
Episode #140 -- Best Home Alone Trap
Well, we've only referenced Home Alone Traps about a hundred times in the past, so we might as well give them their own [BRACKET!] to find out which of Kevin McCallister's homicidal tendencies brought to life is the best. Please enjoy our Holiday 2016 episode that doubles as a personal appeal to Daniel Stern and Sean Astin.
December 21, 2016
Episode #139 -- Now That's What I Call [BRACKET!] Vol. 1
We goofed up! Please enjoy this special Best Of episode featuring fan favorite clips and some bonus cold opens left on the cutting room floor. This episode of [BRACKET!] sponsored by Windows 10: The Only Platform That Hates You As Much As You Hate It.
December 14, 2016
Episode #138 - Tournament of Champions VIII
Listen. We're not sure how this Tournament of Champions, our gauntlet where we take the last 16 winners and face them off in a final bracket, turned into PodcAstin with Sean Astin: The Podcast Dedicated to All Things Sean Astin or Other(sam)wise. But it did and we aren't the least bit sorry about it.
December 07, 2016
Episode #137 - Best Doctor
Special Guest Alex Jones joins us for a medical melee to determine which fictional doctor is graduating at the top of the class! Jesse teaches us about the real Patch Adams, while Dan fights tooth-and-nail for tossed salad and scrambled eggs. John wonders if Dr. Zaius ever took the Hippocratic Oath.
November 30, 2016
Episode #136 - Best Improvised Weapon
Colin & Gnollbard from Culture Culture join us to fight fireworks with coffee pots! Cullen sets off an explosion in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Dan straps a tomahawk to a La-Z-Boy. John gets a geography lesson and sets up underground Frankenstein fights.
November 23, 2016
Episode #135 - Best Vacation
Gabe Silva (animator at Rooster Teeth) joins us for a getaway gauntlet! Dan sneaks away from the chaperones. Jesse tries out for a reality show but won't tell us which one. John hosts MTV Spring Break Live from the video game conventions while Cullen challenges wolves to a fistfight in the middle of Europe.
November 16, 2016
Episode #134 - Best Pop-Tart
Abigail Tyson and Sean Baptiste from Adult Swim's Lunchtime Games join us for a toaster pastry throwdown! Cullen walks us through the Do's and Dont's of consuming toxic items in your pantry. Dan spreads the good word of "Freeze 'Em, Then Eat 'Em!" dessert Pop-Tarts. Jesse champions the classics in his most fired-up episode yet.
November 08, 2016
Episode #133 - Best Sidekick
It's a controversial companion clash this week on [BRACKET!]. Jesse cooks up some waffles with Chewbacca, while John drops some bees down claymation knickers. Cullen teaches us some famous Dreamworks catchphrases, and Dan throws Samwise into whatever that dumb mountain from the Lord of the Rings is called. Misty Mountain? Mount Doom? I don't know. Don't @ me.
November 02, 2016
Episode #132 - Best Witch
Friend of the show and illustrator Irene Koh returns for our final Spooky Month episode to decide which witch frightens us the most! Jesse REALLY wants to see Blair Witch already, while John recounts his time spent with Wicked. Cullen just wants a sandwich.
October 26, 2016
Episode #131 - Best Skeleton
Special Guest and skeleton expert Arden joins us to figure out which bag of bones reigns supreme! Cullen hunts for Bigfoot, while John rewatches the ending of Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest. Jesse has to make a tough choice between Manny and Jack Skellington. Dan wants to get off Mr. Bones's Wild Ride.
October 19, 2016
Episode #130 - Best Blood
Special Guest Jessica Michelle Singleton returns to [BRACKET!] to help us with our coagulation contemplation. Cullen destroys a home with fake blood, while John forgets how blood vessels work. Dan tells the true story of the Fox and the Hound and predicts the future.
October 12, 2016
Episode #129 - Best Werewolf
Special Guests Nell Bailey & Greg L. Mercer from sound.wav join us to kick off Spooky Month, the annual [BRACKET!] tradition of Halloween-themed episodes throughout October. Please enjoy this extra-length episode in which at least 30 minutes are spent on Sonic the Hedgehog and some dude from Harry Potter.
October 05, 2016
Episode #128 - Best Boss
Special Guest Albro Lundy joins us in a corporate conference call clash! John chases after them Duke boys with Nobuo Uematsu's personal choir. Dan tries to outrun the law with Buddy Valastro, while Cullen teaches us about a wrestler who's *thing* was being a cop? Jesse finds an ally to help defend the Treasure Planet OST.
September 26, 2016
Episode #127 - Best Baby
Comic Roulette's Alex Jaffe returns to [BRACKET!] to talk smack about cartoon babies. John describes in detail the Three Sins of Bamm Bamm, while Cullen wants to get wit'cha and take your picture. Jesse is on Tasteless Joke Patrol. Dan is curious what it sounds like when a Pokemon cusses.
September 21, 2016
Episode #126 - Best Song of 1999
Special guest Chipocrite (Paul Weinstein) joins us to hang out the side of our best friend's ride in a heated musical melee! John takes us back to his local skating rink, while Jesse digs out a copy of Disney's Treasure Planet soundtrack. Cullen backs his thang up with Dan in defense of Shania Twain.
September 14, 2016
Episode #125 - Best Video Game Console
Composer and sound designer Emily Meo joins us for an all-out console war. Cullen shares his love of Gex and Bonk. Dan says some hurtful things about Final Fantasy IX, and Jesse 100% agrees with him. Emily sets us free to escape from the city, and John kicks off a new pre-show warm-up.
September 07, 2016
Episode #124 - Best Planet
Special Guest PJ Sykes joins us to get our asses to Mars. Cullen unlocks some bonus features on the Planet Earth blu-ray. Jesse has a fateful encounter outside Planet Hollywood. John cooks up some special spuds, while Dan has a pessimistic outlook on humanity's future.
August 31, 2016
Episode #123 - Best Date
Eden and Fin from Going Down With Ship join us to let sparks fly and reminisce about high school dates. Dan kicks off a long-term relationship with Mos Def and Jack Black. Cullen scores the USA a Gold Medal in "Proms." Eden and Fin teach us about MTV Dating Shows, and Jesse uses this episode as a therapy session.
August 26, 2016
Episode #122 - Best Fruit
[BRACKET!] returns with a crate of fresh blue raspberries from the farmer's market to kick off Season Eight! Cullen takes a crack at some produce with a baseball bat behind the Wal-Mart. John helps peaches learn to use Windows Movie Maker. Jesse gets upset about candy scientists playing Fruit God, and Dan prepares for Spooky Month with the Cranberry Bog Man.
August 24, 2016
Episode #121 - Tournament of Champions VII
And so it's come to this. The Season of Anime culminates in the Tournament of Champions VII, pitting sixteen winners against each other in a horrifying battle royale. Dan McKenney, John Ryan Abbott, Jesse Knowles, Greg L. Mercer and returning host Cullen Jennings decide which of these combatants, from Barbecue Sauce to Best Buy's Anime Aisle to Brienne of Tarth, will emerge victorious and join the Tournament of Tournament of Champions Champions in 2019.
June 15, 2016
Episode #120 - Best Ship
Special guest and friend of the show Eden Porter of Going Down With The Ship joins us to find the ultimate OTP with Best Ship. Meanwhile John demands answers regarding The Mpreg Situation, Greg explains which fictional character most resembles himself, and Jesse totally slam-jam's Dan regarding his parent's divorce.
June 08, 2016
Episode #119 - Best Lie
Special guest Johnny Mac, superstar dentist and Big Brother houseguest, joins us once again to lie through our teeth, see what I did there? Meanwhile Dan reveals what he likes most about pools, Jesse steers us into bummer territory, and a special friend of the show stops by to help us vote.
June 01, 2016
Episode #118 - Best Murder Weapon
Special guest Nell Bailey, illustrator, friend of the show, and host of SOUND.wav, joins us once again to determine the best murder weapon. Meanwhile Dan recites the best line in all of Catfish, John reveals his Pokemon typing preferences, and nobody actually has much of an idea as to what a bullwhip technically is. (WARNING: This episode, technically, contains a very minor Captain America: Civil War spoiler.)
May 25, 2016
Episode #117 - Best Sandwich
Special guest William Brierly of Soda Drinker Pro, Vivian Clarke and My Girl: The Movie: The Game joins us with Janel SantaCruz and guest host Dan McKenney, filling in for Jesse Knowles and Cullen Jennings respectively, to chow down on Best Sandwich. Meanwhile John riddles which sandwich is easiest to make and hardest to eat, Dan reveals the number one mistake made on every Food Network show, and Greg explains the magic of Maple Nuggets.
May 18, 2016
Episode #115 - Best Knight
Special guest Colin Padgett-Arnold of Creature Culture and opinions about beer joins us to get regal with Best Knights! Meanwhile Greg debates whether a favorite entry actually deserves to be on the bracket at all, Cullen discusses his Martin Lawrence Memories, and Jesse yet again has not seen a universally beloved classic film. Plus, stay tuned after the show (in place of voicemails, since we didn't get any) for our BRAX East segment brought to you by Dan McKenney!
April 27, 2016
Episode #114 - Best Condiment
Special guest and friend of the show Abbie Maley joins us once again to pour it on with Best Condiments. Meanwhile Greg invents Chunky Mustard, Jesse legitimately understands barbecue sauce yet can't win the ongoing battle of ketchup, and John pays people to eat his horrible balls. Coming soon: Bracket Barbajam!
April 20, 2016
Episode #113 - Best Weather
Special guest and friend of the show Brennan Williams, the Great Black Otaku, joins us once again to survive the elements with Best Weather. Meanwhile Cullen gets incredibly angry incredibly quick, Greg answers quickly as this week's Hot Seat host, and Jesse votes based on which Final Fantasy characters are best represented by these entries.
April 13, 2016
Episode #112 - Best Mad Scientist
Special guest Alex Jaffe, editor of Bartkira and Comic Roulette graciously returns after a lost episode and joins us to concoct a method of determining the Best Mad Scientist. Meanwhile Greg gives an official ruling on the house's stance on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, Jesse explains why he can't vote for Princess Bubblegum, and John explains why Rusty Venture doesn't belong on this list in the first place.
April 06, 2016
Episode #111 - Dirty Toilet Water Redemption Match
We blew it! Episode #111 (Best Simpsons Side Character, with friend of the show Alex Jaffe of Bartkira and Comic Roulette fame) was lost to the aether, and as such we had nothing to provide. We shoved our hands deep into the toilet, and pulled out all the dunks from last season. Listen in as we endlessly berate ourselves, DOUBLE DUNK an entry, and spend a solid fifteen minutes not able to break a tie in the finals. Sorry!
March 30, 2016
Episode #110 - Best WWE Catchphrase
Special guest and [BRACKET!] producer Janel Santacruz joins us to get on the mic and decide Best WWE Catchphrase. Meanwhile Greg divulges what the CM in CM Punk stands for, Cullen doesn't bother saying every part of the New Age Outlaw's intro, and Jesse inquires as to the true nature of Nature Boys.
March 23, 2016
Episode #108 - Best Disney Original Animated Series
Special guest Dani Fernandez, comedian and friend of the show joins us to solve and mystery and rewrite history with Best Disney Original Animated Series. Meanwhile Greg reveals the series that bridged the gap between him and cool black girls, John reveals his deep-seated Talespin hatred, and the gang discovers whether the adorable chipmunks or the male-staffed erotic dance cabaret first claimed the title of Chip N' Dale.
March 16, 2016
Episode #108 - Best Video Game Protagonist
Lucky number 108! Special guest Chris Johnston of Adult Swim Games and the Player One Podcast joins us to select the best Video Game Protagonist. Meanwhile John reveals whether or not he would ACTUALLY kiss Sonic, Greg reveals which video game protagonist instigated his bisexuality, and Cullen references a classic British game show.
March 09, 2016
Episode #107 - Best Rock
Special guest Nick Hausman of Wrestlezone joins us along with returning guest Irene Koh to determine the Best Rock. Meanwhile Greg explains who he wants as a dad, Cullen personally invites you to come play Rock Band with us and tells the story of his encounter with a crack pipe, and John establishes the official Paper Pokemon.
March 02, 2016
Episode #106 - Best Dorm Poster Movie
Special guest and [BRACKET!] intern Zach Bruce joins us to determine the best movie about, like, honestly yeah there's fighting and stuff but it's so much deeper than that. Like most people will just think it's about violence or whatever, but really, like, if you follow the story it says a lot of super interesting things-type of movie in Best Dorm Poster Movie. Meanwhile Greg reveals what posters he hung up Freshman year, Jesse finds the correlation between Rocky and Pulp Fiction, and John reveals the unlikely Ted fanbase.
February 24, 2016
Episode #105 - Best Girl Scout Cookie and Best Best
No guest! No Jesse! Double brackets! Have we gone mad? Yes! Long ago, and it has nothing to do with this episode! [BRACKET!] goes off the darn chain with both Best Girl Scout Cookie and Best Best. Only one winner can move forward to the Tournament of Champions VII! John reveals his romantic attraction to hotel rooms, Greg explains his bitterness toward Buzzfeed, and Cullen is getting the best the best the best the best of you.
February 17, 2016
Episode #104 - Best Prince
Special guest Jessica Michelle Singleton, comedian and friend of the show, joins us for the absolutely royal Best Prince. Meanwhile Jesse discovers live on air what a Prince Albert is, Greg explains what caused him to chant Hail Satan today (besides his allegiance to Satan), and John informs us all how huge Thor's donger is.
February 10, 2016
Episode #103 - Best Fictional Food
Special guest Steve Yurko, illustrator and friend of the show, joins us to kick off the seventh season of the most agreed-with podcast of all time by choosing the best Fictional Food. Meanwhile Jesse conflates two different Wonka items, Greg explains the joys of chicken pulled out of a broken brick wall, and John contemplates the true taste of the mighty Poppler.
February 03, 2016
Episode #102 - Tournament of Champions VI
Season 6 rests its weary feet at the top of the mountain called Tournament of Champions VI. Entries from all previous 16 episodes battle once again to see what will enter the Bracket pantheon and reign in eternal glory. Meanwhile Jesse STILL hasn't seen all the Hunger Games movies, Greg questions whether Water will sweep since it already won "Best Thing," and you can absolutely guess how John is going to vote regarding Pokemon as an entry.
January 27, 2016
Episode #101 - Best Rivalry
Special guest Patrick Miller, author on fighting games, Rising Thunder community manager, interviewer and martial artist joins us to discuss the best longstanding face-offs of all time in Best Rivalry. Meanwhile we spoil the hell out of Kill La Kill, the Rocky franchise and several large-scale Marvel comics events, Jesse explains the ways he channeled his rage in elementary school, and John actually votes for anime while Jesse doesn't.
January 20, 2016
Episode #100 - Best Thing
For episode 100, we pulled out all the stops. We do our first ever THIRTY-TWO ENTRY bracket, and we did it live. What topic could possibly be so important to require 32 entries? Why, Best Thing. Of, like, everything. If something isn’t on this list, it isn’t truly one of the best things, and by the end of this episode, you’ll know the *actual best thing* that exists. Meanwhile John hates on anime as usual, Jesse votes AGAINST ghosts, and Greg gets mad at Dan who actually helped us out a lot with this episode. Thanks Dan.
January 13, 2016
Episode #099 - Best Breakfast Food
Special guest Janette Goering joins us to gruffle down some greasy goodness in Best Breakfast Food. Meanwhile Greg brings up the commonly misinterpreted dichotomy between hashbrowns and home fries, John contemplates the wonders of the fruit bowl, and Cullen shares a pretty disgusting story regarding partially fertilized egg. Buckle up.
January 06, 2016
Episode #098 - Best Ball
Special guest Abed Gheith joins us once again for...look, we'll be honest with you here. We picked Best Ball because we thought it was funny. And it is! This is a really good episode. I mean, yes, it's an episode about balls. Ball jokes happen. It happens. But it's a really good episode, I promise. Meanwhile Jesse explains his role as the reincarnation of a famous TV star, Cullen explains his lifelong obsession with Truck Nuts, and Greg discovers which came first: Boba Fett, or Boba Bubble Tea.
December 30, 2015
Episode #097 - Best Christmas Movie
Special guest and friend of the show Santa Claus of the North Pole joins us once again to help determine the Best Christmas Movie. Meanwhile Greg inquires as to how accurate of a documentary The Santa Clause is, Cullen proposes a bracket for 16 Best Traps In Home Alone, and Janel introduces us to Prime Minister Garbage who loves traaaaash.
December 23, 2015
Episode #096 - Best Bird
Special guest Michael Zavala, our very own stat guy and writer for The Cart Driver joins us to fly sky high with Best Bird. Meanwhile Cullen explains the horrifying genetic mutations present in all turkeys, Jesse explains what exactly is the deal with Birdo, and we once again dive into the well of making characters with the introduction of Jeff Microsoft, the ghost trapped inside Skype.
December 16, 2015
Episode #095 - Best Star Wars Vehicle
Special guest Barry Kidd of Noise.FM and Wakovia Bank Robbers joins us to hunt down your opinions and freeze them in carbonite with Best Star Wars Vehicle. Meanwhile Jesse explains the intricacies of Star Wars sound design, John takes an AT-ST for a ride, and Cullen drops his drawers for a toy.
December 09, 2015
Episode #094 - Best Alien
Coming in from Roswell, New Mexico, we have the first ever in-person episode of [BRACKET!]. We decide the best alien amongst the four of us, resulting in Jesse talking about his 24 Yodas, Cullen getting super mad Lord Zedd isn't on this bracket, and John once again claiming the hot seat.
December 02, 2015
Episode #093 - Best Thanksgiving Dish
Gather round as the whole [BRACKET!] family, save for John who has fallen victim to the long-absent buffalo stampede, debates the best thanksgivin' dishes. Meanwhile Dan defends his aluminum-eating habit, Cullen demands a ham jacket, and Janel tells us what celebrities correlate to which entries on the bracket.
November 25, 2015
Episode #092 - Best Nintendo Property
Special guest Alex Jaffe, Editor-in-Chief of Comic Roulette joins us to fire-flower metroids and throw pokeballs at squidkids in Best Nintendo Property. Meanwhile Greg reveals his greatest 3DS-based shame, John explains why Splatoon is Nintendo's future, and Cullen just can't seem to pick a winning side.
November 18, 2015
Episode #091 - Best Pizza Topping
Special guest Andrew WK, rock legend, self-help expert and party elemental, joins us to finally determine one of the first [BRACKET!] topics we ever thought of: Best Pizza Topping. Meanwhile Greg, Cullen and John take bets on which of these toppings Jesse has had on pizza before, Greg notes this may be our most high-brow show yet, and we repeatedly mention that vegetables leak water into your pizza, which seems unappetizing.
November 11, 2015
Episode #090 - Best Fighting Tournament
Special guest Persia of Team Brokentier joins us to engage in hand-to-hand combat to determine the Best Fighting Tournament. Meanwhile Greg technically votes *against* a robot-centric entry, John discusses the things Unreal Tournament is more popular than, and Jesse introduces us to yet another beloved cold-open character, Coldstein Opalman.
November 04, 2015
Episode #089 - Best Way to Die
Special guest Johnny Mac, Veto King of Big Brother 17 and Dentist Extraordinaire joins us to send Spookymonth to the grave with Best Way To Die. Meanwhile Dan McKenney suffers Greg's "game move," Cullen explains the similarities between hot tubs and volcanoes, and Janel SantaCruz establishes that TV is the future.
October 28, 2015
Episode #088 - Best Demon
Special guest Steve Yurko, illustrator and podcaster, joins us to continue Spookymonth and summon up an answer as to who is truly the Best Demon. Meanwhile Greg affirms his devotion to the True Queen of All Life and Death Lilith, Jesse tells an interesting piece of trivia about Raven from Teen Titans, and we meet Chaz Krampus of the Autobahn.
October 21, 2015
Episode #087 - Best Vampire
Special guest Irene Koh, illustrator and artist for comics like TMNT and Batgirl, joins us to put a stake in the heart of the topic of Best Vampire. Meanwhile John reveals his horrifying cereal preferences, Cullen discusses his uncomfortable interviews with a vampire and also his grandparents, and everybody votes incorrectly the entire way through.
October 14, 2015
Episode #086 - Best Costume
Special guest Nell Bailey, prolific cosplayer and host of Transformers comics Lets Read podcast Sound.wav helps us open season 6 with Best Costume. Meanwhile Greg explains his Shia LaBeouf costume, Jesse reveals the absolute best way to get him back to your place for Netflix and chill, and the whole gang confuses the idea of "costume" with the actual entry. Also we introduce our new season 6 mechanic, the [BRACKET!] HOT SEAT.
October 07, 2015
Episode #085 - Tournament of Champions V
What a season, what a season. Tournament of Champions V puts a pretty bow on Season 5 with our first ever live episode, taking tiebreakers from audience decision. We also introduce Lady Groddga, the Poot Beer Scrote, and Imperator Daffiosa.
September 30, 2015
Episode #084 - Best Looney Tune
Special guest and friend of the show Open Mike Eagle of Secret Skin and Conversation Parade joins us once again to figure out which melody is merriest with Best Looney Tune. Meanwhile Cullen reveals his knowledge of leather jackets, John makes a fatal mistake in the pronunciation of the national park "Yosemite" and we have what is widely agreed to be the best finals we've ever had.
September 23, 2015
Episode #083 - Best Sport
Special guest, friend of the show and Rolling! DM Dan McKenney joins us to score for the home team with Best Sport. Meanwhile Uncle Joey from Full House briefly replaces Jesse, Greg makes a weird joke about a wooden maxi pad I can’t actually understand looking back on it now, and John just can’t get enough of the Snivley Hoot-Toots in his latest NatureBox.
September 16, 2015
Episode #082 - Best Missing Hand
Special guest Fin Hickey, animator and illustrator, joins us once again to discuss the best fictional character who has less than the traditionally assumed number of hands. Meanwhile John discusses the aesthetics of beefy robotic arms, Cullen repeats the phrase “Candarian Demon” over and over, and Greg makes an amazing Natalie Imbruglia goof that goes totally unnoticed.
September 09, 2015
Episode #081 - Best Frozen Treat
Special guest Aubrey Sitterson of Straight Shoot and SKALD joins us to close out the summer months with a scrumptious frozen treat. Meanwhile John invents the concept of a Float Sommelier, Cullen makes frozen banana with nuts dick jokes, and Greg complains a lot about the structure of this particular bracket (because it is WRONG).
September 02, 2015
Episode #080 - Best TV Dad
Special guest and go-to fifth bracketeer Janel Santacruz joins us once again to determine the dadliest of dads delivered by delevision. I mean television. Meanwhile we ponder the qualities of Herman Munster's dong, John makes a very specific request for fanart, and Greg and Jesse get emotional about Greg Universe and Goku.
August 26, 2015
Episode #079 - Best DC Villain
Special guest Steve Sickmen of Press A To Listen joins us once again to be part of our superstitious, cowardly lot. Meanwhile John ponders the name "Reverse-Flash," Cullen reveals how badly he wants to smooch the entire cast of Arrow, and Greg gets super frustrated from the get-go with pretty much every result, only to find there may yet be redemption in this world.
August 19, 2015
Episode #078 - Best Sound
Special guest Mila Pokorny, game designer and artist, joins us to present the Best Sounds directly into your ears. Meanwhile Greg explains what game has the worst menu sounds of all time, Cullen explains how someone truly earns a leather jacket, and we say "baby giggles" so much because it's really fun to say out loud.
August 12, 2015
Episode #077 - Best Female Pop Star
Special guest Abbie Maley joins us to...alright, look. I'm going to level with you, here: you're gonna get mad about this one. People you hold as idols are destroyed. Just remember, we're always correct and you should never question that. Meanwhile, Jesse reveals his first roller-rink moment with Cher, John reveals the only thing he ever argues with Cullen about, and the whole cast chooses not to discuss Gummo.
August 05, 2015
Episode #076 - Best High School Clique
Special guest Sean Baptiste joins the show once again to relive all the painful memories of High School Cliques. Meanwhile Jesse helps us discover the Iron Man of Juggalos, Greg explains why he can’t be around theater people for five god damn minutes, and find out what anime character Cullen owns silk shirts of.
July 29, 2015
Episode #075 - Best Podcast Advertiser
Special guest and friend of the show Dan McKenney, dungeon master of the Rolling! podcast, joins us to tear apart the most common podcast advertisers. Meanwhile Greg discovers how to get away with shitting his underwear every day, Dan assembles a LootCrate live on air, and we are introduced to the lovely Joey Hortada.
July 22, 2015
Episode #074 - Best Emoji
Special guest Michaela Dietz, voice of Amethyst on Steven Universe and friend of the show, joins us once again to discuss the hippest, coolest, dumbest, most cutting edge method of communication: Emoji. Meanwhile Greg writes a screenplay based on the life of Information Desk Person, Cullen forever corrupts the Person With Folded Hands emoji, and John once more brings about the eternal battle between Goth Cousin and Drunk Uncle.
July 15, 2015
Episode #073 - Best Castle
Special guest Zach Paez, writer for Gravity Falls and Community joins us to hold down the fort with Best Castle. Meanwhile Greg explains why he'd probably feel pretty uncomfortable at Hogwarts, Jesse gives the world the First Ever Moderately Interesting Pluto Nash Story, and Cullen wants to eat chicken straight out of the walls. It was in the walls dude, you probably shouldn't eat it! Could be, like, asbestos chicken.
July 08, 2015
Episode #072 - Best Party
Special guest Jessica Michelle Williams joins us to party down catering service with Best Party. Meanwhile Greg reveals his surefire legendary bachelor parties, Cullen reveals the best cake ever, and John is just especially cute in this one, I don't know, I just think he's cute. So is Jesse. We're all so fucking cute.
July 01, 2015
Episode #071 - Best Thing To Do With a Dollar
Special guest Abed Gheith, Rick and Morty writer and friend of the show, joins us to figure out the absolute best way to spend a single United States Dollar. Meanwhile Cullen admits to larceny on air, Bracket officially endorses the recreational use of a Schedule II controlled substance, and even sweet, dear Jesse talks about the crimes he has committed.
June 24, 2015
Episode #070 - Best Childhood Game
Special guest Trin Garritano, events manager for Cards Against Humanity and one half of the Friendshipping podcast, joins us to wax nostalgic about childhood games. Meanwhile Cullen recalls his dark and dangerous childhood, explains the rules of Rock Wars, and reveals his connection to a famous Country Music Superstar and host of The Voice on NBC who beat the fuck out of him as a child (no, that's a joke).
June 17, 2015
Episode #069 - Best Party Snack
Special guest Chris Kluwe, former NFL player, co-author of Prime: A Genesis Series Event and general internet cool guy joins us to chow down on the Season 5 premiere, Best Party Snack. Meanwhile Greg takes a firm stand against Nachos and already doesn't care that you're upset about it, Cullen explains amazing and disgusting ways to host a party, and we introduce Eric the Stat Guy.
June 10, 2015
Episode #068 - Tournament of Champions IV
And so ends Season 4 of [BRACKET!], not with a bang, but with sixteen bangs of winner versus winner, shattered relationships, and a couple weird instances of Greg's super loud keyboard coming through the audio track. Sorry about that last part. And as usual, discover what disgusting, horrifying tiebreaker mechanic we came up with this time!
June 03, 2015
Episode #067 - Best Iconic Jacket
Special guest and comedian Adrienne Airhart joins us to try on Best Iconic Jacket for size. That was a jacket pun. Meanwhile find out which entry is crushing the most dick, John digs up another heaping scoop of embarrassing teen memories, and the mechanics and implications of Dirty Toilet Water are explored, as we get the first ever fourth place finisher to avoid being dunked.
May 27, 2015
Episode #066 - Best Toonami Show
Special guest Brennan Williams, AKA The Great Black Otaku and player for the Jacksonville Jaguars joins us to nail down the Best Toonami Show. Meanwhile John and Greg reveal shameful preteen history, John’s cousin tells a flagrant lie about Rurouni Kenshin, and Jesse lets them f-bombs fly.
May 20, 2015
Episode #065 - Best TV Neighbor
Friend of the show Dan McKenney, creator of A Brief Escape and Dungeon Master of ROLLING! finally makes his fourth season appearance to help us determine the best TV neighbor. Meanwhile Greg discovers the infinite wonder of the King of the Hill wiki, Cullen frequently reminds everyone that he old as hell yall, and John establishes who is and is not a villain.
May 13, 2015
Episode #064 - Best Superhero Movie Casting
Friend of the show and rapper Open Mike Eagle joins us to figure out who wore their super suit best in Superhero Movie Casting. Meanwhile Nick Fury's secret origin is revealed, Greg turns on Tony Stark because Tony Stark turned on mutants, people reveal who they want to play Captain America, and Janel surely gets furious with us.
May 06, 2015
Episode #063 - Best Boy Band
Special guest Jessica Michael Singleton joins us to tear up your heart when we choose the Best Boy Band. Meanwhile Greg Meets the Beeples, Cullen explains the hidden history behind LFO's masterful songwriting, and Jesse explains the fascinating technology behind Hit Clips.
April 29, 2015
Episode #062 - Best Post
Special guest Dane Peterson joins us to free associate on the topic of posts, and all meanings of that word. Meanwhile Cullen brings up a movie no one but him has ever seen, PostSecret gets raunchy as heck, and John closes the show out by asking a question I never want to consider.
April 22, 2015
Episode #061 - Best Leonardo DiCaprio
Friend of the show Janel SantaCruz joins us to cherish five-time Oscar loser Leonardo DiCaprio and figure out which one is best. Meanwhile Greg calls out people who like The Joker at all, Greg calls out people who like Interstellar at all, and Greg calls out Cameron Diaz pretty much out of nowhere, but Cullen STILL has the most controversial statement of the episode.
April 15, 2015
Episode #060 - Best Fantasy Setting
Special guest Aubrey Sitterson, host of Straight Shoot and creator of SKALD joins us to travel to a magical far away place called Best Fantasy Setting. Meanwhile Greg denounces the land of Skoyrum, the brack pack learns which character is "the Quidditch of Dragonball," and we experience The Most Contentious Sweep in Bracket History.
April 08, 2015
Episode #059 - Best Sci-Fi Weapon
Special guest Justin Roiland, creator of Rick & Morty and voice of Lemongrab on Adventure Time, joins us to either defend the universe or threaten the safety of it by selecting Best Sci-Fi Weapon. Meanwhile we ponder how Samus manages to not shatter every bone in her body while in morph ball mode, explore autoportalfellatio, and Jesse knows a heck of a lot about Metal Gear even if he doesn't really like it.
April 01, 2015
Episode #058 - Best Cookie
Special guest Michaela Dietz, voice actress for Amethyst on Steven Universe joins us to get crumbly on Best Cookie. Meanwhile Cullen explains How To Make Money At Phish Concerts Without Really Trying, John shares his mystic hat-related destiny, and Jesse doesn't know whether or not one of the entries on the bracket would kill him if eaten.
March 25, 2015
Episode #057 - Best Robot
Friend of the show Abed Gheith joins us once again for the episode everybody named Greg L. Mercer has been waiting for, Best Robot. Meanwhile everybody makes an overwhelming number of poor choices, Greg explains the upcoming Roomba overthrow, and John doesn't understand that if you get transformed from a human into a robot and don't have any biological components left, you're still a robot now.
March 18, 2015
Episode #056 - Best Fear
Friend of the show Sean Baptiste of Firehose Games, creator of Let's Quip, joins us once again to discuss the creepiest crawliest aspect of the human psyche, Best Fear. Meanwhile the gang explores the reproductive intricacies of the Suriname Toad, discovers how to get intimate with a bus, and Greg is continuing at this very moment to grapple with the concept of a world in which spiders can float.
March 11, 2015
Episode #055 - Best Zoo Animal
Friend of the show Will Brierly, creator of Soda Drinker Pro and Vivian Clark, joins us once again to discuss the most wondrous of creatures, Best Zoo Animals. Meanwhile John questions our present lack of mammoths, Cullen explains how to survive a bear attack, and Jesse shares his casting ideas for the Hollywood blockbuster "Otterman"
March 04, 2015
Episode #054 - Best Wizard
Special guest artist, illustrator and creator of magical girl card game Mahou Shojo Mila Pokorny summons arcane expertise to help us decide Best Wizard. Meanwhile Cullen runs us through his new segment Sports Corner, Greg discovers what new buddy cop movie he has always wanted, and we spend an awful lot of time talking about movies that aren't very good at all.
February 25, 2015
Episode #053 - Best Place To Get In A Fight
Friend of the show Janel SantaCruz joins us to throw down in a knock-out no-holds-barred fight over best place to fight. Meanwhile Cullen explains his engineering degree, John reveals his greatest bathroom fear, and Jesse wants only to experience the thrill, the rush of taking another human life with his own bare hands.
February 18, 2015
Episode #052 - Best Cereal
Special guest Abbie Maley joins us to discuss the imbalanced, incomplete breakfast of champions, cereal. Meanwhile Greg has shocking revelations regarding the nature of mascots and their associations with their products, Jesse talks about the time he shotgunned six bowls of Captain Crunch in one sitting, and John apparently thinks I shave my chest in the episode art.
February 11, 2015
Episode #051 - Tournament of Champions III
[BRACKET!] wraps up its third season with the now-legendary Tournament of Champions, pitting the past 16 bracket winners against each other in a downright stupid fight to the death. Find out how an innovative tiebreaking mechanic will fuck everything up this time!
February 04, 2015
Episode #050 - Best Cuss Word
Special guest Abed Gheith, writer, actor and comedian joins us to get downright vulgar with Best Cuss Words. Meanwhile the group debates the beauty of the english language, Greg explains the complexities of the asshole, and Jesse gets maybe the best burn of all [BRACKET!] history on Cullen.
January 28, 2015
Episode #049 - Best Venture Bros Character
Friend of the show Janel SantaCruz joins us to discuss the most heated topic in [BRACKET!] history, Venture Bros. Characters. Never before and never again will you hear things like Greg passionately, ardently arguing AGAINST a robot, John's #1 pick making it farther than he ever expected, and Cullen so upset over an outcome that he refuses to read certain results.
January 21, 2015
Episode #048 - Best Board Game
Special guest Nicole Aimée Schreiber, actress and comedian, joins us for some pop-a-matic zany action. Meanwhile the definition of board game is discussed, John proves he knows nothing of the rich lore behind Clue, and JENGA! gets shouted a whole bunch.
January 14, 2015
Episode #047 - Best Talking Dog
Special guest Mike Mitchell, actor, writer and member of The Birthday Boys joins us to talk about a most venerable comedy institution, talking dogs. Meanwhile Jesse uncovers the dark secret of Goofy, Greg reveals a fact that will make you INSTANTLY hate him, and Cullen has the gall to defend Family Guy even for a second.
January 07, 2015
Episode #046 - Best New Years Resolution
Special guest, friend of the show and Solid Platinum Hit Machine Producer Dani Fernandez joins us to get right for the most cyberpunk sounding year yet, Twenty Fifteen. Meanwhile Cullen gives good tattoo advice and bad education advice, the whole group enumerates on future plans, and honestly isn't it time you sat down and watched the definitive crime drama of the last quarter century?
December 31, 2014
Episode #045 - Best Ancient God
Special guest Danielle Sylvan, artist and illustrator, joins us to determine which pantheon's powerhouse pummels post-mortality. Meanwhile Jesse is thwarted at practically every turn, we shout about gold dicks a lot, and we determine a round entirely based on alcohol preference.
December 24, 2014
Episode #044 - Best Christmas Song
Special Guest Santa Claus of the North Pole and A Brief Escape joins us to get holly-jolly on some Christmas music. Meanwhile John lets us know how much he loves being somber, we briefly touch on the worst TV Christmas Special ever made, and we get to the bottom of why Twelve Days of Christmas has so many birds.
December 17, 2014
Episode #043 - Best Time Travel Movie
Special guest Mark Ellis, comedian and host of Schmoes Know and AMC Movie Talk joins us to traverse the fourth dimension and determine the Best Time Travel Movie. Meanwhile Greg reveals what movie is still sending him royalty checks for his starring role, Cullen explains his favorite movie he saw while in jail, and Jesse gets sent back in time to be murdered by a younger version of himself, but he was wearing a blunderbuss-proof gold chestplate so it all worked out okay.
December 10, 2014
Episode #042 - Best Duo
Special guest and friend of the show Dan McKenney of the soon-returning A Brief Escape joins us to pick the best team-ups across all media. Meanwhile we discuss droid mobility issues, who the greatest detectives REALLY are, the Calvin & Hobbes Multiverse, and a Late Round Vote Change (LRVC) results in some genuinely hurt feelings.
December 03, 2014
Episode #041 - Best Weird Relative at a Family Gathering
Special guest Sean Baptiste of Fire Hose Games, makers of Let's Quip! joins us at a very special time of year when all the family sets aside their differences and acts totally messed up. Jesse refuses to explain his Cousin Situation, Cullen explains the best way to get free CDs, and we cumulatively decide which of the entries we all are.
November 26, 2014
Episode #040 - Best Famous Car
Friend of the show Janel SantaCruz joins us once again in a race to the finish to see what classic film, TV and meat-product cars are the best of all time. Also in this episode, find out what song Greg loves to sing to his dog, what happens when the Popemobile hits 88 MPH, and how YOU can win a FREE [BRACKET!] t-shirt just by flushing hot dogs down your toilet!
November 19, 2014
Episode #039 - Best Street Fighter
Special guest Random, AKA Mega Ran, joins us to discuss who is truly the most turbo-alpha Street Fighter. Meanwhile Cullen uses M. Bison as a verb, Jesse explains the concept of Battlemoms, and Greg accidentally left "auto-adjust microphone settings" checked in Skype which means the sound quality is a little off in this episode. Sorry everybody.
November 12, 2014
Episode #038 - Best Pokemon Mega Evolution
Special guest Alex Roederer of the PAX Pokemon League joins us to discuss the best Mega Evolutions of the newest Pokemon games. In this episode you'll discover who's The Situation of Pokemon, intense discussion of what pokemon may be kept in an apartment, and what Swamperts really smell like.
November 05, 2014
Episode #037 - Best Movie Monster
Special guest Kaare Andrews, writer, artist, and director of CABIN FEVER: PATIENT ZERO joins us for a SPOOKY-SIZED episode to discuss the scariest monsters to ever grace celluloid (or, uh, magnetized tape or binary code or whatever format.) Meanwhile Jesse explores the nuances of the Cinnobytes, Cullen explains his first time seeing a vagina, and tips to see if YOU'RE a vampire!
October 29, 2014
Episode #036 - Best Ghost
Special guest Jamie Woodham joins us to continue our spooktacular October with Best Ghost. Meanwhile the chemical make up of Ecto Cooler is called into question, several ghosts are invited into hot tubs, and we determine who deserves the title of The Best Little Shit in All of Fiction (Spoilers: it's Hamlet.)
October 22, 2014
Episode #035 - Best Candy
Special guest Janel SantaCruz joins us to kick off Season 3 as we always do: with a food episode. Candy is matched against candy in a battle of (oooh, oh) the sweetest thing. Meanwhile Jesse explains his "mystery white" experience, and Cullen explains The Saddest Cell Phone Store Marketing Tactic of All Time.
October 15, 2014
Episode #034 - Tournament of Champions II
Season 2 concludes with the second Tournament of Champions, pitting winner against winner in a deeply fucked brawl. Meanwhile the gang develops several sitcom ideas, Greg is shocked by how quickly the rest of the crew will sell out just to spite him, and we select a winner for our second-ever Pizza Giveaway (which now includes chocolate thanks to A Brief Escape).
October 08, 2014
Episode #033 - Best Dragon Ball Z Character
Special guest Dani Fernandez, writer and comic, joins us to discuss the dragon, dragon, rock the dragon, Dragon Ball Z Characters. Meanwhile we develop our own spinoff series, Jesse agonizes as usual, and we reveal the first details of the TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS VOL. II
October 01, 2014
Episode #032 - Best Excuse
Special guest Dan McKenney of A Brief Escape joins us to figure out the best way to excuse any problem you might have. Meanwhile we all sing different songs at the same time, John takes us to a parallel universe where FDR's greatest folly resulted in ultimate success, and Dan insults us so hard Greg had to insert a special MP3 clip.
September 24, 2014
Episode #031 - Best Disney Villain
Special guest Fin, illustrator and artist on the game Date or Die joins us to discuss the most fearsome and also beautifully animated antagonists of childhood, Disney Villains. Meanwhile Cullen faces the Second Season Bracket Catastrophe Session everyone else has had at least a few times now, and we all decide which Disney villains should date each other.
September 17, 2014
Episode #030 - Best Onscreen Kiss
Special guest Janel SantaCruz joins us once again to discuss the most romantic, most hot, most sexiest, most emotionally devastating of all third-act actions, the Onscreen Kiss. Meanwhile John continues his descent into madness (or, uh, just being mad) at the rest of the team, and Greg explains why there's no update on last week's poll results.
September 10, 2014
Episode #029 - Best Dragon
Special Guest Seth Meeks, chef and dracologist joins us to get fired up (get it) about dragons. Meanwhile John gets MAD huffy about picks for maybe the first time, Cullen explains his Charizard hate, and Greg ALMOST doesn't mention robots, but ends up mentioning robots twice. HEY, ALSO: Sorry for the audio quality in this episode, wasn't much that could be helped. It gets better after round one, I promise.
September 03, 2014
Episode #028 - Best Exotic Pet
Special guest Christie Rivera, Head Editor of GameLosers.Net and actual, literal rabbit joins us to discuss the best pets other than cats and dogs. Meanwhile Cullen reveals information about his druidic order, and Greg doesn't know shit about animals.
August 27, 2014
Episode #027 - Best Amnesia
Special guest Kaare Andrews, writer of Iron Fist: The Living Weapon and director of Cabin Fever: Patient Zero joins us to discuss losing identity, false memories, and contrived plot twists. Meanwhile John reviews a cinematic tour de force, Greg explains his X-Men feelings, and Jesse is hot on the heels of solving a real-life mystery.
August 20, 2014
Episode #026 - Best Font
Special guest Amy Moore, graphic designer and host of The Slayerettes joins us to discuss the best ways to make words look good. Meanwhile Cullen is bored, John feeds his cat and hates reading, and Greg continues clawing his way out of the hell that is Season 2.
August 13, 2014
Episode #025 - Best Video Game Villain
Special guest Sara Ho, animator on shows like Superjail and Motorcity and pioneer of Living That Sara Ho Life joins us to discuss the coolest sea monsters ever. Meanwhile Cullen once again graces us with a Cullen Story, and Greg thinks your valuation is way off.
August 06, 2014
Episode #024 - Best Shark
July 31, 2014
Episode #023 - Best Jackass Stunt
Special guest Billy Gagon joins us to BMX joust, Rocky, and (sigh) Poo Cocktail Supreme. Meanwhile John laments a previous vote, and Greg worries about future job interviews.
July 24, 2014
Episode #022 - Best Will Smith
Fresh Prince Dan McKenney joins us once again to determine which Will Smith is the best Will Smith. Meanwhile Cullen confesses his undying love for the movie Hitch, and Jesse does that close-to-the-mic talking again (sorry).
July 17, 2014
Episode #021 - Best TV Mom
Special guest Janel SantaCruz joins us once more to discuss broadcast media's most motherly moms. Meanwhile Jesse recounts his trip to the west coast (more like WORST coast) and we invent a new, horrifying cocktail.
July 10, 2014
Episode #020 - Best G.I. Joe Codename
Special guest Open Mike Eagle, legendary rapper, joins us to discuss the greatest G.I. Joe code names. Meanwhile Jesse sounds like a robot which probably means Greg wants to smooch him, and we come up with the best alternate name for Serpentor ever.
July 03, 2014
Episode #019 - Best Childhood Dream Job
Special guest Henry Smith, creator of legendary indie game Spaceteam joins us to discuss what you want to be when you grow up. Meanwhile Cullen regales us with more tales of his youth, and Greg offhandedly makes a Stargate reference as though that show were still culturally relevant.
June 26, 2014
Episode #018 - Best Fast Food
Special guest Cat of Glorified Dress Up joins us to discuss the great American pastime, fast food chains. Meanwhile John got dat DANK sticky-icky, and Cullen makes everybody really sad by talking about his life growing up.
June 26, 2014
Episode #017 - Tournament of Champions I
In our first ever Tournament of Champions, we determine the best out of all the winners of the sixteen previous [BRACKET!] episodes. Also, John admits he has a serious addiction, and Jesse makes a FATAL MISTAKE BY CROSSING GREG L. MERCER. Also, we reveal the outcome of our Tournament of Champions [BRACKET!] Pizza Giveaway!
June 11, 2014
Episode #016 - Best Method of the Apocalypse
Special guest Sarah "Astro" Thomas joins us to discuss THE END OF ALL THINGS, WOE UNTO THOSE WHO LIVE DURING THE DEATH OF LIFE ITSELF! Meanwhile Jesse gets a package from a friend of the show, and we reveal the details of our FIRST EVER [BRACKET!] giveaway!
June 04, 2014
Episode #015 - Best Dinosaur
Special guest and friend of the show Janel SantaCruz joins us to determine which Lizard has the most Thunder. Also, Cullen accidentally added several non-dinosaurs to the list, and Greg doesn't care much anyway.
May 28, 2014
Episode #014 - Best Marvel Villain
Special guest Max Bemis, lead singer of the band Say Anything and prolific comics writer of Evil Empire, Polarity and A+X joins us to discuss a matter of his own expertise, Marvel Comics villains. Also, the Brack Pack mulls new episode ideas, and Greg sure does talk about how much he enjoys the X-Men.
May 21, 2014
Episode #013 - Best Game Show
Special guest Dan McKenney of A Brief Escape joins us to discuss his true passion, game shows. Meanwhile Greg shouts more than he ever has, and Dan speaks the audience's mind when he tells us how constantly wrong we constantly are.
May 14, 2014
Episode #012 - Best Failed Video Game Mascot
Special guest Josh "Sm1tty Sm1t" Smith of College News Magazine and Press A To Listen joins us on a pick n' flick adventure to determine the Best Failed Video Game Mascot. Also, Cullen luxuriates in his new workspace, and Greg shouts real loud about Kurushi Tektonics (also known as Intelligent Qube).
May 07, 2014
Episode #011 - Worst Sports Team Brand
Special guest Brandon Halsey joins us in our first foray into the world of organized field play, colloquially known as "sports." Also discover the filthy, filthy habits and purchases of John and Jesse!
April 30, 2014
Episode #010 - Best Super Power
Special guest Janel SantaCruz joins us to discuss the most often debated subject amongst huge nerds, super powers. We also discuss turning into dragons, and how you can be the FIRST to hear Jesse's new microphone! (it is by listening to this episode.)
April 23, 2014
Episode #009 - Best Futurama Episode
Special guest Roger Burton, EIC of Game Losers and noted Futurama expert, joins us in an EXTRA LONG EPISODE to discuss the sixteen best Futurama episodes of all time, past, present, and distant future. We also take a moment to explain how much we all dislike dogs!
April 16, 2014
Episode #008 - Best Soda
Special guest William Brierly, creator of the critically-acclaimed soda drinking simulator Soda Drinker Pro, joins us for some highly fructosed competition between the sixteen best sodas (pops (soft drinks (carbonated nonalcoholic beverages that aren't energy drinks))). We also discuss how INCREDIBLY CORRECT we were about last week's episode!
April 09, 2014
Episode #007 - Best Cancelled TV Show
Special guest Janel SantaCruz joins us to shout REAL LOUD about which canceled TV show is the best one. We also look back at the utter failure of the last episode, and finally manage to avoid the damned buffalo.
April 02, 2014
Episode #006 - Best Mythological Creature
Jesse succumbs to the wiles of the buffalo, but manages to hop back in mid-episode to help us discuss the best Mythological Creatures of all time, with the following exceptions: 1: Nothing trademarked by Wizards of the Coast (Beholders, Mindflayers, etc.) 2: Nothing a world might only have one of (Leviathan, Kraken, Hydra, etc.) 3: Nothing too Final Boss-y (Lich, Dragon, etc.)
March 26, 2014
Episode #005 - Best Muppet
Special guest Aaron Grant joins us during our first-ever MARCH MUPPET MADNESS episode. Also, John is dead, John is risen, John is back on the podcast!
March 19, 2014
Episode #004 - Best Action Movie One-Liner
Our regular host John Abbot is still dead (this isn't an episode of Scandal, people don't just come back from the dead (can we talk about how fun it is to watch Scandal tho)), so three great chums team up to discuss action movie one-liners.
March 13, 2014
Episode #003 - Best Conspiracy Theory
Our dear friend John Abbott was sadly murdered by a stampede of buffalo, so in this episode, the three most handsome men on the internet discuss the 16 best conspiracy theories.
March 05, 2014
Episode #002 - Best Years Since 1998
Special Guest Victoria joins us to discuss which year since 1998 is the BEST one.
February 27, 2014
Episode #001 - Best Casual Dining Establishment
In our debut episode, we fiercely debate the great American Midwestern pastime, Casual Dining Restaurants.
February 18, 2014