Peace Starts with You Podcast

We are finally back for season 2 and I am so excited about the episodes that I have lined up for you! In this weeks episode I talk about different approaches I've taken with each one of my boys during our season break. All three of them are different in their own ways so when they are upset it's so important to me to work through it with them in a way that makes them feel heard. 

Parenting can be so challenging when you are in the middle of a situation and trying to figure out how to guide your kids. This weeks episode is a power round of some gentle parenting tips.

• 0:46 - 10 minute power round
• 0:55 - Using distraction to cope with uncomfortable feelings
• 1:57 - Forced apologies
• 3:57 - Kids who are shy
• 5:12 - A shift in perspective
• 6:10 - Holding our boundaries
• 7:55 - When your kids says “your mean”
• 11:02 - Quote

I apologize about the mix up last week, thank you for being patient as we've been sorting this out. Below is a summary to help you navigate through this episode. 

• 0:47 Poem by Tess Guinery
• 3:37 Cultivating good communication skills with our kids
• 4:00 Real life scenarios
• 9:37 5 tips
• 9:52 Listen to understand
• 10:30 Get on their level
• 11:45 Acknowledge their feelings
• 12:41 Control your response
• 14:36 Be clear and confident
• 15:30 Author David Thomas
• 16:33 Summary of tips
• 16:55 Berne Brown Quotes

When we regulate our emotions it is teaching our children how to regulate theirs. Your child deserves to be heard, even when they resist, cry, and complain. In those moments engage them by asking what they think needs to be done. Discipline is an approach that helps a child solve a problem while punishment simply making a child suffer for having a problem. Leading them to think less of themselves.

Book recommendations from this episode:

• A Woman After God's Own Heart
• The Power of a Praying Wife
• Love and Respect

Being completely available to your kids can feel nearly impossibly when you think of the mountain of tasks that you need to get done around the house. Being a homemaker can get overwhelming from time to time but the reality is no one else is responsible for managing your home but you. The beauty is that you approach that duty with such a joy once you get your focus right. You have the ability to foster connection with your kids by simply being intentional. Know that it is such an honor to be able to remind your kids of their goodness. 

As a mom you play a huge role in setting the tone in your home for your kids. Do you feel like you are empowering and inspiring to your children? Being positive and communicating gentle all the time isn't going to be a breeze.  It starts with being aware of the way you speak to your kids and how the way you respond to them. Acknowledge the way you are making them feel about themselves. Stop shaming them when they're having a hard time with something.  As parents we should be an intentional and positive role models for our kids to look up too. Constant criticism erodes their confidence. Boundaries and limits do not need to be enforced using fear. Get creative and look for ways to build their strengths. Giving your kids small task can build their confidence in so many ways.

I know you've heard it before but I need to remind you, comparison is the thief of all joy. It is so easy to find ourselves entangled in negative self talk. You know, that little voice in our head that tells us to be content with live an average life. Self sabotage all starts with a simple thought. Leading you to constantly tell yourself that you are not good enough or that you will never get ahead in life. Shack off those thoughts and be intentional about reframing you beliefs. Dig deep and ask yourself why you think about yourself the way you do. Take an inventory, do a heart check, what negative ideas have you been telling yourself? Write it all down so you can see how harmful those thought are to your well-being. Now you can rise up and work to move past the negativity. Remember, you are are capable of doing great things.

Siblings fighting with each other is bound to happen. Setting limits and enforcing them is absolutely necessary. We can teach them so much by being intentional about how we guide them as they problem solve. Understanding their need to process on their own and express themselves helps us avoid getting into an emotional power struggle which builds their confidence. Give them space show you that they know what they should do.

Kids are hardwired to connect & when we can look at their behavior with a different perspective and see it for what it really is- a form of communication that clues us in on what is going inside our kids, then we can practice responding to absolutely anything in a respectful, gentle, & calm way. Watch, observe, listen, look and play with intention, which doesn’t mean it has to be 24/7, but recognizing that we have to protect intentional time with our kids. We live in the busiest and most distracted time and we have to choose to be different. When are kids  feel seen, heard and understood they become teens and adults who have self worth and self confidence. We were all made for love and connection so it only makes sense as our kids are growing and developing and learning that we cover them with that same love and connection no matter what.

Teaching kids how to share, validating and showing compassion as they learn, preparing our kids to be adults who are able to accept and manage emotions in a healthy way. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Lets be honest, a lot of things that are a big deal to our kids are not a big deal to us. But when we can get on their level, connecting before correcting, we have the biggest opportunity to build trust and love and show them we hear them. Your greatest super power is your calmness.

Finding joy and filling up your own cup in the midst of motherhood might feel nearly impossible. But often by taking small simple steps you’ll notice they make a big difference in the way you feel, the way you show up and the peace that fills you and flows out of you. Hold onto the truth that there is power when you can give yourself grace as you grow and become the mom you want to be.