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This Podcast Is Brought To You By...

By Matthew Brian Cohen
hosts Matthew Brian Cohen and Ryan Haney (UCB, Janice magazine, more!) are trying to get to their show, but their improvised ad reads sometimes get in the way.
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Episode 9: God Is Low-Key Loco
This episode is brought to you by Best Buy, which is obviously some sort of authoritarian regime bent on reshaping our physical reality to their fascist whims. More importantly, Ryan and I have a surefire way to break the Catholic Church into the elusive Chinese market, and Ryan makes a big decision on which podcast he will sign to. This episode is all about the camel, ostensibly, but we mostly discuss Calbee chips, the #1 chip in Japan.
October 24, 2019
Episode 8: Chinatown, But It's Mattress Town
This episode is brought to you by Hillshire Farm. Their murder factory is less cruel in their execution of helpless animals than ever before! But we mostly discuss how to write movies by making the main character do better stuff. We also touch on our Marvel Cinematic Universe of ads, and how the future of work is going to be companies garnishing your wages for Patreon subscriptions. Fun stuff!
October 10, 2019
Episode 7: That's What Makes A Good Country Song: Flawless Logic
This episode is brought to you by the mom and pop global bank, Bank of America. It's also brought to you by DuPont, but we did not have time to read their ad. We talk about A Biden/Yang presidential ticket that would inspire record-low turnout, how invisibility is for pervs, and what if Drake got really into Catholicism for some reason. Please also subscribe to our raunchy adult show, This Podcast Is Brought To You By After Dark, which will be behind the Patreon wall as soon as we launch a Patreon and record episodes for the show.
September 26, 2019
Episode 6: Finally The Future Has Caught Up With My Mind
This episode is brought to you by Everlane. Despite their unclear ad copy, we're happy there's a company making underwear without shit in them. This episode should be about the pita bread, but it's not. Content warning: we briefly discuss SNL's newest cast member, Chris Grims. Also, if anyone knows the word for when a movie has another movie's title in it, please let us know.
September 19, 2019
Episode 5: Those Who Don't Repeat The Past Are Doomed To Change
This episode is brought to you by Xfinity's new X-Fi, which we can only imagine is some sort of alien technology and not a cheesy attempt to rebrand WiFi. Ryan and Matthew should be talking about concrete, but end up discussing ways to improve the Internet, the general nihilism of our age, and of course, how the sequel to the new Joker movie is the lives we live after the credits roll.
September 12, 2019
Episode 4: A Man-Sized Clock
This episode is brought to you by Nature Made! These five meter long gummies will help put you to sleep or send your children into a one hundred year long Rip Van Winkle coma. We also talk about ponds briefly, and there are guests in the studio, but we run out of time before they make it on air.
August 29, 2019
Episode 3: To Find Out About Snakes, Jump Into A Snake Pit
Ryan and Matthew talk about the origins of four wheel drive. Appropriately, this episode is sponsored by Toyota's new 2020 GR Supra. This is a big get for us, so we hope we don't talk about literally anything else and trash the company.
August 22, 2019
Episode 2: It's Like Jazz, But The Blues
This episode is all about dogs: where they come from, what they eat, and who made them. It's also sponsored by Quip, which is some sort of electric toothbrush the size of a bean that's powered by human blood.
August 15, 2019
Episode 1: Michal Jordan's Funeral
The inaugural episode! We read an ad for Zip Recruiter. We also talk about Matthew's love of pistachio ice cream and Ryan's 8 figure job, but only briefly.
August 08, 2019
this is a short snippet of the first episode, featuring the kind of introduction you can expect in the future.
August 05, 2019