Buried Cinema

Episode 313: Dehydrated Godzilla vs. Walmart Voltron

An episode of Buried Cinema

By Buried Cinema
We love movies. Every week we spend countless hours viewing, meditating upon, and engaging in lengthy pseudo-intellectual discourse about movies--hours that probably should be spent doing something more productive. Eventually, we decided to start recording our conversations on a wax cylinder. While the medium may have not been the best choice for audio quality, we have managed to improve the technology so that our rants could be understood. And there was much rejoicing in the land (except from Steven's wife, who was terribly embarrassed about the whole thing).
Episode 314 - Girl Power!: Endgame & The Neon Demon
Kevin's all about fantastic finishes. Also, the MCU. So he picks AVENGERS: ENDGAME for us to review. Tom goes a slightly different direction with the pairing and chooses Nicolas Winding Refn's 2016 love letter to the fashion industry, THE NEON DEMON. Flickchart gives us Endgame vs. Citizen Kane, leading us into a surprising review of the nature of film criticism itself. Steve thinks Jena Malone is creepy, not just because she molests dead bodies. Nate destroys children's love of books. It all happens this week on Buried Cinema. (It's a long one, but hey, it's only half the length of one of the films we reviewed.)
1:31:39
May 23, 2019
Episode 288 - Jarmusch the Divider [Throwback Thursday]
Kevin had thematic control for the month of. . . September. . . so we watched. . . movies that came out when we were six years old. . . so we ended up with the 1979 (supposed) comedy 'Scavenger Hunt', 1979's 'The In-Laws', the 1988 remake of 'The Blob', and Jim Jarmusch's landscape-changing and divisive 1984 'Stranger Than Paradise.' There may be some name-calling.
1:40:04
May 16, 2019
Episode 313: Dehydrated Godzilla vs. Walmart Voltron
Nate's theme this week is "giant monsters," and he's chosen Nacho Vigalondo's 2017 allegory COLOSSAL, starring Anne Hathaway as a giant monster destroying Seoul... sort of... which Brian dubs "the Freaky Friday of Godzilla movies." To pair, Tom chooses André Øvredal's 2010 found footage film TROLLHUNTER. This movie confuses Steve, who thinks all Norwegians look alike. (The Trollhunter discussion begins at 28:24.) At the end, we look forward to Kevin's "fantastic finishes," which is more PG than it sounds.
50:32
May 4, 2019
Episode 312: Arsenic & Old Macy
With Brian back from hiatus, we gave him control with first pick and theme, which he decided would be "Stage-to-Screen." He picked his nostalgic favorite, Frank Capra's ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944), starring Cary Grant. Bringing nostalgic favorites to the podcast altar never results in the knife being stayed. Sorry Brian, most of us kinda liked it! To pair with that classic, Kevin dug up a movie none of us had even heard of: the David Mamet-penned, Stuart Gordon-directed, William H. Macy-starring EDMOND (2005), which stirs up a lot of debate, even though none of us really liked it all that much.  (Our Edmond review begins at 20:40.) At the end we look forward to the next podcast and Nate's "Giant Monsters" theme.
57:19
April 19, 2019
Episode 311: Hedwig and the Phantom Five Inches
Nate decided he wanted to watch "unexpected musicals," and picks Brian De Palma's 1974 PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE. Steve calls it his new personal low. Kevin picks John Cameron Mitchell's 2001 adaptation of his own play, HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH. We all struggle tripping over pronouns because of our wokeness. And Tom is on Nyquil for the entire podcast, so that's fun. At the end, we look forward to our returning podcastmate Brian's theme of stage-to-screen with ARSENIC AND OLD LACE.
42:54
April 1, 2019
Episode 310: F.U.M.R.A.
We're just a bunch of straight white guys who'd like to say, "F U" to the MRA's, so we're discussing the MCU's newest hero, Carol Danvers in CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019). Yes, Tom's theme this week is "pissing off the Men's Rights Activists," and Steve's pairing is Niki Caro's WHALE RIDER (2002), a film that definitely does not feature Alaskan Inuits, but does feature a young Maori girl whose traditionalist grandfather refuses to recognize her ability to lead their people. We ask the tough questions, like why Thor can survive a neutron star but can't kill Thanos, and which character from Captain Marvel would look best with a mustache. Fair warning, this episode gets shamelessly nerdy. (Did we mention that MRA's can get bent?)
1:00:54
March 23, 2019
Episode 309: Rip-Off Riptacular
  We have a tradition at Buried Cinema. Every first month of the year, we dig up the worst movies we can find, watch them, and record our "regret our life choices" episode. We call it Junk January. This January, we watched rip-offs. (Well, they were supposed to all be rip-offs... Nate.) Here we review the Soviet Avengers-style superhero flick GUARDIANS (2017); The Asylum's atrocious crime against humanity, NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (2012); Spanish/Italian animated horror-fest TITANIC: THE LEGEND GOES ON (2000); NUKIE (1987), a South African production that is basically the worst possible version of E.T.; and finally Michael Mann's unfortunate trainwreck of a production, THE KEEP (which once again features Nazis). If you ever see a rapping dog, run, for disaster is close at hand! We are joined once again by our regular Junk January guest, Baltimore-based stand-up comedian Dan Kapr. You can (and should) check out his own podcast "Dan Has Jokes," in which he interviews other comics and delves into the science of joke-writing.
1:57:47
February 7, 2019
Episode 308: A Taste of the Fear of the Horror of the Slithering Pieces of Dracula
This week we're talking B movies, starting with the 1982 cult slasher flick PIECES, followed by James Gunn's 2006 directorial debut, SLITHER. Next we move to classic Hammer films, 1958's HORROR OF DRACULA and 1961's SCREAM OF FEAR, both starring Christopher Lee. At the end we look forward to our Junk January line-up, followed by a post-outro reminiscence on a particular Junk January episode of the past.
1:56:03
January 25, 2019
Episode 289 - Enter the Zebraman [Throwback Thursday]
It's our annual WTF month, and we're doing spoof movies, with Steve Oedekirk's 2002 'Kung Pow! Enter the Fist,' Marty Feldman's 1977 'The Last Remake of Beau Geste,' and Takashi Miike's 2004 'Zebraman.' And join us next time as we look at a bunch of remakes (that have nothing to do with Beau Geste).
1:13:04
January 24, 2019
Episode 307: Blue Ruined Monkeys
Taking a page from our last podcast, where the theme was green and we watched a Jeremy Saulnier film, for this episode the theme is blue and we are watching a Jeremy Saulnier film. We discuss revenge thriller BLUE RUIN (2013) as well as buried 80s sci-fi horror "gem" BLUE MONKEY (1987), which has nothing to do with monkeys or even colors, really. At the end we look forward to talking about some B-horror movies. (Wait... didn't we just do that?)
59:18
January 7, 2019
Episode 306: It's Nazi Being Green
Steve's theme this episode is "green." Yep, that's it. So we watch Jeremy Saulnier's brutal thriller GREEN ROOM (2015) and Derek Cianfrance's multi-generational drama THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES (2012). Steve airs his personal beef with Patrick Stewart, and Kevin surprises everyone with his answer to which character from Green Room he'd most want to make out with. At the end we look forward to our next podcast. The theme for that one is blue. Yeah, we're a creative bunch.
49:12
December 31, 2018
Episode 305: War Huh Yeah WTF Is It Good For
Our second WTF podcast of the year is about WTF war films, and Kevin's picked a psychotropic trip through a Miltonian hellscape with JACOB'S LADDER (1990), featuring an early dramatic turn from Tim Robbins. Next up Patrick's chosen the Israeli animated war documentary (you know, one of those), WALTZ WITH BASHIR (2008). At the end we look forward to going green.
56:57
December 17, 2018
Episode 304: Tickle My Tabloids - WTF Documentaries
It's our annual WTF podcast, but with a documentary twist, so we're talking competitive tickling with David Farrier's 2016 documentary TICKLED and beauty queens who kidnap Mormons for sex with Errol Morris's 2010 TABLOID. But what are these movies really about? Who on the podcast is the most ticklish? Do zombies have genders? Listen to find out.
45:40
November 6, 2018
Episode 303: A Fairy Tale Podcast
On this episode of Buried Cinema, Nate has us watching Matteo Garrone's TALE OF TALES (2015), a three-story anthology based on a collection of fairy tales from 17th century Italy, full of violence and horror and decidedly unhappy endings. Brian decides to pair WILLOW (1988), a George Lucas/Ron Howard production that is, to Brian's surprise, definitely not an Ewok movie. At the end we look forward to our annual WTF episode, and stay after the outro to learn everything you never knew you wanted to know about Crispin Glover.
57:08
October 25, 2018
Episode 302: McPaddington & Mrs. Miller
Kevin picks a movie because it has his family name in it, so he tells Patrick to pick a family movie, and that's how we ended up watching a Robert Altman film about prostitution and murder-for-hire in the Old West alongside the whimsical tale of a little bear in a big city. We're discussing MCCABE & MRS. MILLER (1971), starring Warren Beatty and Julie Christie, and PADDINGTON 2 (2017), starring the beautiful and talented Sally Hawkins and a bunch of other British people who aren't Sally Hawkins.
52:44
October 9, 2018
Episode 290: Murder on the Remake Express [Throwback Thursday]
Kevin wanted remakes, so we get into Kenneth Branagh's updated 'Murder on the Orient Express' and Fede Alvarez's super gross take on Sam Raimi's 'Evil Dead'. (Evil Dead starts at 23:31.)
54:07
October 4, 2018
Episode 291: Werner Herzog's Fitzferatu [Throwback Thursday]
It's an all-Werner Herzog/Klaus Kinksi podcast as we discuss the director/actor team's 1979 remake of 'Nosferatu the Vampyre' as well as their notorious 'Fitzcarraldo' of 1982. Then we discuss our next podcast's theme of 'wholesome animal love,' and yes that conversation is about as mature as you'd expect.
53:44
September 27, 2018
Episode 292: Wholesome Animal Love [Throwback Thursday]
Patrick discovers Netflix makes movies and wants to explore his feelings of wholesome animal love with 'Okja', then forces that exploration on the rest of us. Steve tries to subvert with Robert Bresson's 1966 French donkey tale 'Au hasard Balthazar', Kevin makes all us grown men cry with Disney's 1957 'Old Yeller', and Tom perks us all back up with Tanya Roberts in 1984's 'Sheena.' It's an animal love fest this week on Buried Cinema. (Join us next week as we scrape the bottom of the cinematic barrel for Junk January.) Balthazar starts at 21:31. Yeller starts at 48:01. Sheena starts at 1:05:20.
1:32:32
September 20, 2018
Episode 293: Simon Sez Ghosts Can't Do It [Throwback Thursday]
Junk January is our annual podcast where we review the worst movies we can find, and with that comes the return of guest podcaster and Baltimore comedian, Dan Marse-Kapr. We let him pick the theme this year, and that theme is, 0% rating on aggregate critic website Rotten Tomatoes. We review the 1999 Dennis Rodman (snicker) action vehicle 'Simon Sez'; 1998 adaptation of classic British spy show, 'The Avengers' (segment begins at 29:57); 1982 Barry Bostwick (snicker) action vehicle 'Megaforce' (48:57); and finally, possibly the worst film we've ever covered, John & Bo Derek's abysmal 1989 "comedy" 'Ghosts Can't Do It' (1:10:50).
1:40:44
September 13, 2018
Episode 294: The Dunkirkest Hour [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode or two from the archives. The Oscars seem like they will be a little more interesting this year. Here's a reminder of why they need to change it.] Our recorded discussion last week covered six of the nine 2018 Best Picture Academy Award nominees. We will be releasing this in three parts, starting with today's segment on Joe Wright's 'Darkest Hour' (starring soon-to-be Oscar winner Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill) and Christopher Nolan's tangentially similarly themed 'Dunkirk'. (In part 2 we will be looking at 'Get Out' & 'The Shape of Water'; and in part 3, 'Lady Bird' & 'Three Billboards'.)
33:46
September 7, 2018
Episode 295: Speelburgh and the Voyage of the Rock Aliens [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode or two from the archive. We've reviewed some wild movies this year. Here's a gem you shouldn't miss] Can Steven Spielberg transport us back to the magic of the 80s? Can the Rock Aliens? Can Jimmy and the Mustangs? Can Pia Zadora? That's what Nate apparently wants to know; why else would he decide to pair the 1984 cheese-fest 'Voyage of the Rock Aliens' with Steve's pick of Spielberg's newest thrill ride? We start off with 'Ready Player One,' then at 28:49 we discuss VOTRA. Join us this episode as we investigate the Nature of the Beast. . . .
57:51
September 7, 2018
Episode 301: 300: The Prequel
We invited Tom's brother, Baltimore comedian Dan Marse-Kapr, to be a guest on our 300th episode, but then changed the date without telling him, because we're good people, and he drove two hours out of his way to be on site. So here's Steve, Tom, and Dan during a thrown-together recording session discussing everything from Zack Snyder's 300 to Clint Eastwood's "nuanced" racism to the perfection of Batman Forever to Barbies vs. Bronies to rapping dogs on the Titanic.
1:12:05
September 3, 2018
Episode 011 - The Podcast [Throwback Thursday]
[A look back when Ben Affleck had so much promise as a director.] We watch Ben Affleck's 2nd directorial film 'The Town', and discuss famous movie towns. We begin to solve some of the audio issues.
1:03:36
August 31, 2018
Episode 010: Accidentally On Purpose [Throwback Thursday]
[Remember when everybody thought 3D was going to change cinema? It didn't, but we got some interesting films out of it.] We discuss the accidentally impressive 'Resident Evil: Afterlife' the rise of 3D, and more. This is still early on in our rise to internet blip, so we apologize for the bad sound.
1:10:43
August 31, 2018
Episode 300: Rise of a Podcast
We celebrate our 300th episode the only way that makes any sense: reviewing Zack Snyder's testosterone fest 300 (2007) and its awful sequel, 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE (2014). We then ask each other some on-the-spot questions about our past eight years. We then look forward to Kevin's confusing theme for Episode 301. Stay tuned after the outro if you want to hear us look back over the worst movies we've ever reviewed.
1:17:59
August 23, 2018
Episode 296 - The Big Sick Woody [Throwback Thursday]
[Remember the simpler times, before last summer. We don't, but we can listen to this review and be reminded. Now you can as well.] This week is Brian's pick, and he chose last year's charming romantic comedy THE BIG SICK. His theme was "meeting the parents." Yeah, there's three minutes of that in Kevin's pairing of ANNIE HALL, Woody Allen's groundbreaking 1977 comedy. We discuss separating art from artist, and if we even can. And then we look forward to a couple of horror films that involve being hunted, with John Krasinski's A QUIET PLACE and David Robert Mitchell's IT FOLLOWS. (Just kidding, we forgot to record the final segment.)
45:30
August 20, 2018
Episode 297 - Shhh [Throwback Thursday]
[This Throwback Thursday is from this year, but it was such a great pair of movies, we just wanted to tell you about it again.] Patrick chooses John Krasinski's new horror film A QUIET PLACE and the theme of being hunted. Steve pairs David Robert Mitchell's 2014 horror film IT FOLLOWS (segment starts at 18:20). Stay through the outro for some very important current events commentary.
42:46
August 20, 2018
Episode 012 - Meh Night Meh Movie [Throwback Thursday]
We discuss M. Night Shaymalan and his legacy, and a movie he didn't direct 'Devil', but had his name all over.
1:01:53
August 20, 2018
Episode 009 - The Lingering Shot [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we publish a couple episodes from the archives. The audio is pulled from when we were a video podcast, so listen closely.] We discuss 'The American', Terrence Malick, the lingering shot, and George Clooney.
1:05:06
August 20, 2018
Episode 008: Summer 2010 Wrap-Up [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we publish a couple episodes from the archives. Remember the summer movies of 2010? Neither do we. Listen up for a little reminder.] We discuss the summer of 2010, and what we think ruled and what we think did not rule so much.
1:10:55
August 3, 2018
Episode 007: The Geek Episode [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. This is still one of our favorite films ] We geek out over the first good video game film. We talk about video games and geeky stuff, but you probably can't hear it because we're still working on that whole audio thing.
1:02:30
August 3, 2018
Episode 299: They Made a Sequel to That?
Nate has control of the podcast this week, and digs up an 80s gem that terrified us as children, Disney's RETURN TO OZ (1985). And since our theme is "They made a sequel to that?" Patrick goes for broke with the abysmal 1998 sequel to another 80s classic, inexplicably titled BLUES BROTHERS 2000.
55:21
July 25, 2018
Episode 006 : The Worst Movie Ever [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives (with persistent audio issues, sorry about that). ] We fume over 'The Expendables' and tear Stallone a new one for making such an abomination of stupidity. Still working on that sound thing though, we'll get it one of these days.
1:00:08
July 19, 2018
Episode 005 : The Other Podcast [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. We were still a video podcast back then, so enjoy the sight gags (sorry). ] We Joke about that silly Will Ferrel and his pal Mark Wahlberg. Then talk about what are our favorite comedies.
56:07
July 19, 2018
Episode 003 : The Mind Blowing Episode [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. This is our 3rd episode and it's a fun one (with persistent audio issues, sorry). ] In our third Episode we still working out format and sound, but the movie we discuss is really cool, 'Inception'.
54:24
July 12, 2018
Episode 002 : Not Salt [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. This is our 2nd episode back from when we were podcasting freshman. ] In case anyone listened to our first episode, we were supposed to see Salt this week that didn't happen, so we watched 'Body of Lies'. Also the sound is still all messed up.
57:13
July 12, 2018
Episode 001 : The First Episode [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. This is our 2nd episode back from when we were podcasting freshman. ] We launch Incidental Dog, soon to be Buried Cinema, and talk about 'Predators'. Our audio is quite pathetic on these early episodes and so we apologize.
54:42
July 11, 2018
Episode 000 : The Beta Podcast [Throwback Thursday]
[Every Thursday we post an episode form the archives. This is our very First episode, so we were still figuring things out. Good thing it's one of our longest.] This is our first attempt at podcasting. Lean in close, the audio is awful.
1:30:11
July 11, 2018
Episode 298 : All Peckers Great and Small
Our theme this episode is "intentionally offensive," and we're discussing the new DEADPOOL 2 and 2013's rapturous raunch-fest THIS IS THE END. If you don't like frequent references to male genitalia (but who doesn't?)... don't watch these movies or listen to this podcast. (Second segment starts at 20:12.)
49:09
July 9, 2018
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