But Where Are You Really From?: An Asian-American Struggle

As the pandemic recedes, the dream of remote work forever has also shrank. But for those who can still telecommute, the allure of planting roots elsewhere has become "the writing on the wall."

Reports of Americans moving abroad have historically centered on an older demographic looking to stretch their retirement savings. However, this new cohort of high paid telecommuters has come into focus - a group that seeks to achieve the American Dream while living abroad.

With the economics, safety, and livability of their home nation in decline, living abroad has become a rational choice for this group. But as more Americans seek their dream life abroad, only time will tell how well their assimilation into their destination countries will fare.

We'd love to hear from our existing digital nomad listeners and those who aspire to live life abroad! Have you considered planting roots abroad instead of settling in your home nation? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Look, we think service and gig workers should be paid a fair wage for their work, but at what point did that responsibility shift to the consumer instead of the employer?! In this episode we talk about how egregious tipping culture has become in the US, regardless of the level of service you actually received. We compare and contrast with tip-less cultures outside of the US, and bemoan how tipping expectations and pressures have changed due to the iPad checkout systems being used in even non-service "regular" storefronts. What do you think about how tipping culture has evolved in the US over the past several years? Especially if you work in the service industry, we're very curious to hear from you since you experience both sides. Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments on our social media! Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Our relationship with grief changes as we get older. The range of loss we learn to absorb over time is so large - so where do we learn how to cope?

In evaluating ourselves, we find that most of our responses to loss are unique, individual responses. Growing up with families that did not necessarily express much emotion, we weren't able to learn a model of grief from a young age.

And yet when we look at our parents' emotional reactions to tragic life events, we can't help but consider the difference. Our life contexts are certainly not the same, but the commonality of grief runs through it - maybe just expressed differently.

How were you taught (or not taught) to handle grieving? Let us know in our Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media.

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Family structures have changed throughout time and vary depending on which part of the world you're from.

Recent surveys done by Pew Research in the US suggest that prevailing attitudes towards the institutions surrounding families have changed. The importance of family and marriage have dramatically transformed over the last few years.

Some of these changes are more inclusive and benefit family structures that have traditionally sat outside the norm. Single parents and married gay parents have seen positive shifts in perception.

But do these changes reflect the attitude of all of America? What kind of family structure do you belong to? Do you feel your family structure is largely accepted? Let us know in our Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

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Netflix has finally released its highly anticipated adaptation of the beloved sci-fi series "The Three Body Problem," and we're giving you our honest review from the perspective of someone who binged the entire book series as well as from someone who had no previous exposure to the trilogy at all. **This is a minimal spoilers review. We only discuss Episode 1 not the full season, so if you haven't watched the first episode this may not be for you. However, if you've just started the show, we won't be spoiling anything you don't already know.** From changing the setting from China to the UK, and thereby the protagonist Wang Miao into a diverse group of friends led by a female Auggie, we talk about what we think about these changes and whether they will materially change the appeal of the show or not. We also discuss the sub-plots fans of the book are likely eager to see play out in the show, like the virtual reality video game, vs. ones that we don't think the show producers did justice (explaining science, anyone?) and therefore flew over the heads of viewers with no exposure to the book series. What do you think of the 3 Body Problem show? What level of exposure did you have to the book series prior to the show coming out? Let us know in the comments of our Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media! Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

We've talked about the culture shocks & challenges we've faced being American-born kids visiting the motherland (in our case, Taiwan), but all of those experiences have only been in the context of short-term vacations.

What's it like trying to do "real" things like applying for health insurance, opening a bank account, and other "grown up" things in the motherland? In this episode, Angela shares exactly what that was like when she navigated these activities recently. Let's just say it was a humbling experience!

While she and many of you may be lucky enough to have parents and other older relatives around who can help you through these mundane adulting activities now, they won't be around forever to help you. That's why, especially if you're looking to have options in the face of an ever-changing global climate, investing in developing these societally-functioning skill sets now is not such a bad idea.

How about you listeners? Have you ever had to navigate "adulting" activities back in the motherland? Any tips & tricks? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

What's it like to search for and buy a house in the US vs. in Japan?

Jesse purchased a co-op apartment in New York City two years ago, and Angela bought a house in Kyoto last year. In this episode, we compare and contrast everything from the search process, to contracting/making an offer, to renovations, and everything in between.

Would you rather buy a house in the US or in Japan now that you've heard what those two processes entail? Let us know in our Spotify poll or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Did you know that there was a presidential election in Taiwan this year?

While election madness is just starting in the US, it's already finished in Taiwan. The results have significant impacts on how the current major parties in Taiwan will govern in the future.

While the Democratic Progressive Party's (DPP) candidate, Lai Ching-te, came out ahead in the presidential race, the party as a whole has lost significant influence in the legislature. Amidst that, the Taiwan People's Party (TPP), a newcomer in the Taiwanese general election, gained a significant share of the popular vote for their candidate Ko Wen-je.

With the waning popularity of both the established political parties [DPP and Kuomingtang (KMT)], does this new political faction have what it takes to address Taiwan's problems head-on, especially with its tie-breaking power in the Legislature?

Does this centrist third party's meteoric rise hold hope for other nations like our own (the US) with dissatisfied voters looking for another way?

We'd love to hear from you, especially if you're a listener tuning in from Taiwan. What do you think will happen based on the results of this election? Let us know your thoughts in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

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*Podcasters' Note: Sorry for the slightly awkward ending! Angela's internet gave out in the last bit so had to make do with what he had :)

Do people around the world still believe that democratic institutions represent their best interests?

Recent survey data reported by the Guardian shows that a portion of younger respondents favor more autocratic governments. A quick look around the world, and you can see more extreme political factions taking root in many nations.

Does this instability come from democratic bodies that no longer represent their constituents? Does the general public now distrust democratic governments as the model for the future? These are the questions we dive into this week, as we take a look at whether or not democracy is still worth saving.

Do you feel represented by your government? Do you believe that a democracy is still the best form of government? Let us know in our Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Are polyamory and open relationships becoming popular in modern society?!

...or is the media just presenting it that way and enabling problematic people to co-opt the concept of polyamory to justify their bad behaviors (i.e., cheating, using people, etc.)?

Inspired by a recent read of the New Yorker article entitled "How Did Polyamory Become So Popular?" by Jennifer Wilson, we discuss what we think about all of this.

How about you, listeners? Have you noticed a rise in polyamorous relationships within your social circles, or seen people use polyamory as an excuse to act on selfish desires? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

It's the Year of the Dragon y'all and we're looking to tap into that energy of success, power, luck, and excellence as we wade through the new changes that 2024 has to bring.

In this episode, we share our respective big new life updates - namely that Angela has decided that she'll be moving to Japan in 2 years, and Jesse is imminently moving in with his boyfriend!

What's new for you listeners in 2024 that you want to tap into that dragon energy for? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

The end of the year means that we're at the start of a fresh new beginning! It can be so exciting to start the year fresh, but new life chapters can be daunting!

Coming into the holidays, we've decided to reflect on how we've progressed this past year. There have been so many changes that have happened to us - change in locations, careers, and social life. And there are so many new things to come! We chat about how some of these changes can bring new (but exciting) concerns back into our lives.

Finally, we wish all of our listeners a wonderful holiday and a happy new year. We're going on break with our hearts full of love from your support, and we'll see you with fresh new topics soon!

And, if you'd like to share, we'd also love to hear some of the things you'll be tackling in the new year, or if you have a new mini-chapter of your life unfolding. Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

What do you get when you take a Hong Kong-born kid, move him to New Zealand for the next 13 years, and then have him cross over the ocean to the US as an adult? ... this episode's guest, Henry!

You, our dear listeners, asked us to share more and different types of Asian diaspora stories beyond the US, and we listened! In this episode, we hear about Henry's story of identity and finding himself.

How did Henry's experience growing up in New Zealand, learning a perfect "Kiwi" accent differ from his mom's experience of finding comfort in the fully immigrant neighborhoods she could blend more fully into?

How connected to Hong Kong did Henry feel, having been born there, being able to speak Cantonese fluently, and visiting every year, while spending the majority of his formative years immersed in the western culture of New Zealand?

And why is he so heated about Americanized Chinese food?! We compare how Chinese food is seen, referred to, and appreciated by your everyday Kiwi vs. your average American.

What parts of Henry's experience resonates with you the most? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section, or in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Have you ever wondered what parenting in 2023 looks like? Are more parents disciplinarians or have more parents found their way to gentle parent?

Our topic in this episode, gentle parenting, is a newer approach to raising children. Instead of the more traditional authoritarian approach that we were raised by in our own childhoods, gentle parenting parents approach their children with more empathy and focus on letting the child express their emotions.

Does it sound a little new-age to you? While we love the idea of gentle parenting in theory, we have our own reservations about it in practicality. We talk through how our parents' more traditional parenting styles, while troublesome in its own right, also gave us ammunition in challenging areas of life. We also chat about how our personalities would mesh with the idea of gentle parenting if we were to apply it to our own future children.

Have you practiced gentle parenting before? What are some pros and cons to this approach? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Finding new friends is challenging at any age, but it seems to get particularly more difficult as we get older.

As we age out of experiences and environments that are more conducive to socialization (i.e., school), we naturally find less opportunities to make friends. Even in areas like the workplace, most people seem less open to making friends outside of certain environments.

We also find that we are more conscious of the people we make friends with. We focus on finding connection over quantity, and we are inclined to not take a risk on a new friend if we don't think it's worth it. But that doesn't stop us from continuing to try and find new connections - whether at parties, cultural events, or just in our day-to-day lives.

Where have you found success in finding new friends? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Modern science has truly come a long way with regards to fertility and alternative ways to start families. However, even with these science-aided options like surrogacy and egg freezing/IVF, women are still forced to think about their options with regard to whether or not they want to have children when they are in their mid 20s to mid 30s.

Since Angela is in this age range currently and has many friends who have either already had kids or have gone through science-aided options, this topic is very top of mind for her - hence, this episode!

We discuss what we think about surrogacy and egg freezing, our personal and friends' experiences with these options, and also the unnecessary taboos and judgments people have around these alternatives and the ways that parents choose to go about their lives before and after a child's birth (i.e., going back to work vs. being a stay at home parent).

Are you already a parent or thinking of having children in the near future? What has society tried to shame you for about this process? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in the comments of our social media so we can commiserate!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Even though we're pushing towards our mid-30s, finding a healthy sense of self and self-worth can still be challenging.

Sense of self and self-worth can be tied to the different types of validation we look for in life. Some of that validation comes from external factors - career, relationships, and personal history. Other types of validation come from within - peace with yourself, satisfaction with your achievements, and self-compassion.

We talk about how all of these things have affected our own sense of self and self-worth. We also take a look at how growing up in an Asian household may have affected self-affirming behaviors. And finally, we each share a strategy we employ to help build ourselves up.

What's something that you do to help increase your self-worth? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

It's time to get scary again!

Since y'all loved our scary stories from Asia episode last year, we're coming back at you with new stories from the Eastern world! Grip the edge of your seat as Jesse recounts the haunting adventures of a Taiwan-based shaman. Will he successfully help out a distressed young man, or will he be caught up by the paranormal activity himself?

Feel your breath catch in your lungs as Angela takes us on a horrifying taxi cab journey based in Korea. Is the mysterious passenger the driver picks up what they seem to be, or is there something sinister lurking beneath?

If you've ever had any interesting paranormal encounters (or have heard from someone else), write us in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Have fun and stay safe this Halloween y'all!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

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Credit: Jesse's story (Reddit user: palpatine88888), Angela's story (Reddit story: "My First Day As A Taxi Driver in Korea")

Harry Au is a therapist specializing in working with Asians in the diaspora, often 1.5 and 2nd generation Asians who are either immigrants themselves, or children of immigrants.

In this episode, we discuss how Harry was motivated to dedicate his life to this work after seeing the benefits of working out his emotions in therapy for himself, and the common issues he sees with his clients.

Largely having to do with his clients' relationships with their parents, they are often challenged with everything from identifying what emotions they're even feeling in a given moment, to setting boundaries, and developing strategies to change their relationship dynamics.

We're huge advocates of getting more in-tune with your inner world, whether that be with a professional like Harry or not, so we encourage all of you to check in with yourselves about how you're feeling, what dynamics in your life you want to change for the better, and to seek out help if you need it.

Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section what you resonated with the most from this episode!

You can find Harry at www.harryautherapy.com and access some free resources he provides there as well.

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

How do you define "meaning" or "value" in life?

In the US we often put work above all else, thinking that career success and status is supposed to give you some sort of meaning in life, or that work is supposed to be your ~passion~. But is that really the case? Now that we're in our 30s with enough work and life experience under our belts, we're starting to re-evaluate that assumption.

We reflect on our our individual experiences riding the wave of figuring out what meaning we do or don't derive from work, where else in our personal lives we're looking to for that sense of meaning, and we also compare what we've observed non-American societies value beyond work (hint: enjoying life for what it is).

What about you listeners? Have you figured out what it is that gives you meaning in life, or are you still figuring that out? Let us know in our Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

There are so many things about getting older that suck. But does getting older always mean settling down? Is there even a universal meaning to the phrase, "settling down?"

Aging means thinking about what the future stages of our lives will look like. Some types of adventures decrease as we get older, to be replaced by other life experiences.

In this episode, we talk about how our individual definitions of settling down, and how our different life experiences guide the challenges we want to tackle next. Settling down also comes with material expectations - higher income, a house, and maybe even a family! We chat through the differences between expectation vs reality on each of these as well.

And finally, we come to you, listeners - do you see settling down more of a book closing or as a new chapter opening? Why do you think that way? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Many children of immigrants grew up learning their parents' language as their first tongue. Our first language was Mandarin, but like many other immigrant children, this was quickly supplanted by English. Despite attending Chinese School every week from the ages of 5 to 18, our current level of vocabulary and reading/writing skills are sadly on par with 5th graders in Taiwan, at best.

As we've gotten older, we've both developed a desire to revisit our mother language as part of better understanding our cultural heritage as a whole. Not only do we need it to better navigate our mother country, but we also need it to communicate effectively with our parents and extended family. In Angela's case, in this past year after feeling less than sufficient with her vocabulary on a recent visit to Taiwan, she's even gone as far as to start taking conversational language classes to improve her Mandarin and fill in the gaps on everyday vocabulary she needs to sound, well... more like someone her own age!

And of course - this is also a matter of pride! Mandarin is our mother tongue after all, so we want to be proud of having a level of proficiency worthy of that title. Being able to show off our skills and eavesdrop on conversations doesn't hurt either ;)

Listeners - what are your experiences with your mother tongue? Are you highly proficient or also picking up the pace later in life? Write-in in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Clarissa Wei is a Taiwan-based food journalist and author of the new cookbook "Made in Taiwan," out now.

Clarissa was inspired to use this cookbook as a vehicle to tell the stories of the people of Taiwan, and to shine a light on how the history of Taiwan -- from its various waves of immigration pre- and post-1949 to its all-time-high modern political tensions with China -- has affected its people, its culture, and of course its cuisine.

Clarissa collaborated with a diverse group of local Taiwanese recipe developers, researchers, and creatives to write "Made in Taiwan," and made a conscious effort to represent the wide spectrum of Taiwanese foods, not just beef noodle soup and night market snacks. From all regions of the island nation, dishes that came about before and after the massive wave of American aid (hello, American flour!), to aboriginal cuisine and Hakka specialties, the book covers the entire gamut.

This is probably the most educational cookbook either of your podcast hosts has ever read, and is surely an interesting read for anyone; however, for the diaspora looking to connect deeper with your roots and learn about modern Taiwan, this book is indeed a must-read. Please do yourself a favor and go out to your local bookstore (or of course online) and get yourself a copy of "Made in Taiwan" now!

You can also keep up with everything Clarissa is up to on Instagram and Twitter at @dearclarissa

What Taiwanese dish are you most looking forward to learning about from "Made in Taiwan"? Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

There's a whole industry built around finding shortcuts in experiencing happiness, but do things in life actually make us happy or is it how we experience them that creates happiness?

To complicate the subject further, happiness is a different experience for different people. Even in experiences we choose to repeat, we may find that our experience of happiness differs from one day to the next.

We sit in the middle of all of this, trying to absorb the capitalistic trappings of happiness while maintaining our inner sense of joy. Finding the right balance - a blend of the different kinds of material and perceptual happiness - can be both rewarding and challenging.

And now we turn it to you, listeners - what's your definition of happiness? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

Jesse recently went back to Taiwan for the first time since before the pandemic. Although for less than ideal reasons (the death of his grandfather), he was grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with his extended family back in the motherland.

We also hear about Jesse's shenanigans going out solo to experience LGBT nightlife in Taipei by himself, and what it was like finally being out to the majority of his family members.

Across all of these experiences, we talk about the legendary friendliness of Taiwanese people, how much Jesse felt he "belonged" despite being an American-born kid with imperfect Mandarin, and also the refreshing ease of being of the majority population (as opposed to our experience as minorities in the US).

How about you listeners? What was your most memorable trip back to the motherland and what about it stood out to you? Let us know in the Spotify Q&A section or in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

After living abroad in Japan and Korea the last year, Angela's recent reverse culture shock coming back to the US has your co-hosts wondering why there's such a drastic difference in the quality of life between the US and many (East) Asian countries.

In this episode, we talk about just how different our respective experiences were abroad with regard to the cost of living (food, clothes, going out, real estate), general feelings of safety in society, societal norms & expectations, and more. In considering the totality of all these factors, at least for Angela she feels pretty confidently that she'll probably retire outside of the US.

What about you? Have you ever considered living or retiring in a different country? If so, which one and why? Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

This 4th of July, we're pondering our Americanness from a different angle. As Taiwanese-Americans - in our case, born and raised in the U.S., with parents and extended family who were born and raised in Taiwan - to what extent should we be emphasizing the "Taiwanese" part of who we are?

Inspired by frequent comments we receive on social media from both non-Asian Americans as well as Asians in Asia, we're often told to stop talking about being Asian when we are "simply" American. But to what extent can we even exist as "just" American in a world where what we look like is constantly thrown in our faces in the U.S. as a way to question that Americanness? And to what extent should we discard the heritage of our family, given that we were raised on that culture and still have plenty of family back in the motherland?

Does America really embrace the supposed melting pot ideal that it was founded on, or is being American these days about erasing what makes us different to become something more monolithic?

This 4th of July, we invite you to also ponder over what it really means to be American for you, and how much of the culture your family comes from breathes life into that definition. Let us know what you think about all of this in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Kristen Meinzer is a force to be reckoned with. She is an award-winning podcaster with millions of downloads, a culture critic who frequently appears on TV (especially to talk about the royal family!), and an author whose book "How to Be Fine" was an Audible #1 Bestseller in 2021.

Aside from her incredible career, Kristen is also a Korean adoptee. Born in Korea but raised in Minnesota, she grew up disconnected from the country and culture she was born into while raised in a mostly white family and environment. Kristen helps us understand the connection between the end of the Korean War and the over 200,000 Korean adoptees in the US, and why not all of these adoptees are eager to take up the Korean government's offer of dual citizenship. From her reverse culture shock going to Korean culture camp as a kid, to constantly confusing people with her Minnesotan accent, to whether she feels the call to reconnect with Korea and her biological family, we talk about it all.

While no two adoptee experiences are exactly alike, we are so grateful to Kristen for sharing her story and hope that her perspective can help inspire other adoptees struggling with reconciling their identities, as well as non-adoptees to learn more about what this experience is like.

Do you have a question for Kristen, or are you an adoptee yourself? Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @wherareyoufrompod

Kristen co-hosts the podcast "How to Be Fine" with Jolenta Greenberg, where they discuss and critique all kinds of wellness fads and give advice on how you can get closer to being fine. You can find "How to Be Fine" wherever you listen to podcasts. You can follow her on Twitter at @kristenmeinzer

We've talked about how and why our relationship with our parents is complicated. But as our parents get older, what level of emotional, financial, and logistical support do we owe them in the time they have left?

While the topic of eldercare has always been sensitive, being the child of immigrants brings specific challenges into the equation. Despite having lived in the US for most of their adult lives, our parents continue to struggle with navigating a somewhat still-foreign society, while longing for the familiarity of their motherland societies. Despite not being fully integrated in the US, the fact of the matter is that they've built their lives here. Their immediate family - children and grandchildren - are here to stay. How does this push-pull between two countries and cultures come into play in making big decisions like end-of-life planning and where to be laid to rest?

So where do we go from here? And how do we support our parents? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on our social media.

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

In this episode, we unpack our experiences with creepy men. Creepy men often approach unexpectedly and at times where we are seemingly just going about our daily lives. The "jump scare" appearance of creepy men often happens without consent and can trigger crippling fears around potential sexual violence.

But what is it that empowers creepy men to so boldly approach individuals who have no interest in their attention? We discuss what we think the different factors are that enable creepy man behavior - from animalistic instinct to what teaches us about women. We also compare and contrast our experiences with creepy men from the straight female perspective vs. the gay male perspective.

We close out with some tips to help protect one another against creepy men behavior.

Have a safety tip or personal experience you want to share? Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Do you think the LGBT community is authentically portrayed in modern media - both from a quality representation standpoint, and in quantity of characters and storylines?

In this episode, we talk about what authentic representation means to us. Is more representation always good representation, even if the characters are not well written and don't make you feel seen? Is there "too much" gay portrayal in some pieces of media today to try to right the wrong of not properly including or portraying queer folks in the past? Can extreme or shock value media be considered "good" representation?

We discuss our thoughts around this topic using the recent examples of Billy Eichner's "Bros" movie, and the Netflix series "The Sandman" - both of which portrayed a wide spectrum of gay characters and storylines... but were they done well to represent this community as real, relatable people?

What do you think about the state of modern media representation of the LGBT community? What piece of media has made you feel most seen? Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

So much of your experience as a child influences you as an adult. Having grown up in a typical Asian immigrant family, we felt like we never received the love that we wanted. But how should we carry that experience forward in an evolved way?

In this episode, we dive into how we can unlearn childhood trauma. Childhood trauma can express itself in adult behaviors that you don't quite understand. It can cause you to experience sudden anxiety, anger, or other unexpected emotions as a reaction to certain triggers. While these emotions are mechanisms to protect ourselves, we recognize that they can also stand in the way of happiness.

Looking into the future, we want to own and grow beyond our childhood trauma. We want to free our children and future relationships of having to deal with the same issues that we did, and even turn our learnings towards improving our current relationships with our parents now that we are adults ourselves.

What is the hardest thing you struggle with on your journey of self-growth and unlearning your childhood trauma? Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

New York, Tokyo, London, Seoul - what do current modern metropolises have in common, and how does the speed of modernization change the flavor that each city brings to the table?

We look at how modernization of cities can change the cultural landscapes that give big cities their personalities. Angela recounts her recent experiences living in Tokyo and Seoul, exploring what these futuristic cities trade off in culture for modern architecture and towering skyscrapers. Jesse contrasts this with New York and some of its purposefully "un-modern," historically-preserved institutions that draw visitors to the Big Apple.

Change can be a harbinger of things good and bad. How do we bring cities into the future while maintaining or even building upon the original cultural aspects of a city that make it unique?

Do you think it's worth modernizing at all costs, even at the expense of losing a city's culture? Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

How deeply engaged can you be with a country's culture without being fluent in the local language? Can concepts of culture be divorced from language, or will there always be something missing without a linguistic understanding?

In discussing our Asian identities, we've always known that we don't quite fit in in the motherland. The local cultural nuances that make you feel that you "belong" are difficult to pick up during short visits. On top of that, understanding these cultural nuances also requires a deeper knowledge of the language & vocabulary (in our case, Mandarin) than we have. Oftentimes this disconnect leaves us feeling like we're unable to explain our inner thoughts and feelings.

We talk about how invalidating it feels to know what you want to say, but at the same time be unable to express yourself in a way that's known to others. We connect this experience to our parents' journey immigrating to America and the challenges they faced understanding English and American culture.

Is there something that you also feel like is "lost in translation" between English and your mother tongue? Let us know by connecting with us on social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

Growing up in an Asian family can feel like you're starved for attention all the time. You can never get the same exact "love" that you see your non-Asian friends at school receive. But looking back, maybe there was love - we just didn't know how to see it at the time. While we were looking for words of praise or a close friend relationship with our parents, they showed their love in other ways. They obsessed about our academic ventures, worried over how much and when we ate, and - as we got older - constantly followed up with us about small life decisions. And while there were difficult moments growing up in this kind of love, we've found ways to shift our perspective on how our parents love us. As our parents grow older, and we (Angela) prepare to be parents ourselves, we continue to think about the lessons of love our parents gave us. What are some unique ways that your parents showed you love? Connect with us on social media and let us know!

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Angela has been a digital nomad for the past 2 years, and half of that time has been spent abroad in countries where she is quite literally a "foreigner." However, this episode is dedicated to reflecting on her recent experience going back to Taiwan (her family's motherland) as an adult with her husband and non-Taiwanese in-laws, and all the ways she felt like a foreigner despite *almost* fitting in.

We discuss the difference between visiting the motherland as a child with your family as your personal tour guides vs. wading the waters on your own as an adult. We also talk about how as American-born kids, language is naturally a barrier for many of us even if we can speak "like a native" accent-wise, because we don't always have the necessary vocabulary to function like a normal member of that society since we didn't grow up there.

Join us as Angela recounts her experience, and let us know if you know what she's talking about! Drop a line in our comments on social media with what your biggest hangup was going back to the motherland, and/or if you've noticed any differences visiting as a child vs. as an adult.

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

We've chatted many times before on the pod about how food has such an intimate connection with culture. Food can evoke so many strong memories and strengthen the feeling of connection with your culture. So as one of the main sources of Asian groceries in the US, what does HMart's meteoric rise in the US mean to us as Asian-Americans?

In this episode, we bring you through a brief history of HMart and its massive expansion across the US, and delve into how the experience of shopping at HMart differs from that of both western grocery chains like Kroger, as well as that of other specialty grocery chains like 99 Ranch Market. We also discuss how the experience at HMart presents a unique melting pot of different kinds of shoppers, from ajummas who immigrated from Korea to young Asian-Americans trying to connect with their cultural roots.

With the proliferation of specialty grocery stores like HMart providing access to cultural connection points to more and more people, we hope you can share with us your favorite memory of shopping at HMart or another specialty grocery store. Sound off in our social media comments with your favorite memory!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

Have you heard of ChatGPT, the new AI chatbot that's been taking the world by storm?

What exactly is ChatGPT and how is it different from past AI bots? Why is everyone so excited about it? Does it really have the ability to replace people's jobs?! In this episode we break down what ChatGPT is in the simplest, "normal" people terms, discuss the various ways people are using its creative abilities to enhance the work they already do, and speculate on if it's really possible (and if so, to what extent) for it to completely replace humans in their current roles.

Have you had the chance to play around with ChatGPT (chat.openai.com)? If so, what's the craziest thing you've used it for, or gotten it to say?! Let us know in the comments on our social media!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoufrompod and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

NOTE: We are NOT sponsored by OpenAI or anything related to ChatGPT. We're just super fascinated by this topic so we're discussing it.

What is it about relationships and love that pique so much interest in all of us? We know that our listeners love to hear about topics related to our love lives, but what's so interesting about these topics anyways?

In this episode, we chat about the mystery of love and why the idea of love has such a hold on the imagination. We believe our listeners tune in for the realness of the topic, but also to gain more insight on how to approach their own relationships, since navigating relationship challenges isn't something a lot of people openly talk about. Of course, we know that people also love to consume juicy love life stories in romcoms and reality TV dating shows.

In the end, the only way to know why you're so drawn in is to listen to your own heart. Let us know in our social media comments what aspect of love and relationships is most interesting to you that you want us to cover next!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

Hot take: the Japanese sci-fi series "Alice in Borderland" is a better version of Squid Game (and came out first!)

Netflix's "Alice in Borderland" Season 2 dropped at the end of 2022 and we need to talk about all the wild things that happened. The show is centered around main character Arisu who's stuck in a dystopian world in which the majority of the planet has suddenly disappeared, and he and the other survivors have been thrust into death match-style games in order to fight for their lives. Season 2 ups the stakes, teasing a potential way out. 

Needless to say, this is a SPOILERS filled reaction episode, so if you have not seen the show and care about watching it for the first time, we encourage you to catch up on the series and then listen to this episode :) 

From what we think about the shocking ending, to pondering about how Chishiya's platinum blonde hair could stay so perfect the whole time, we talk about everything that jumped out at us this season. 

If you're all caught up, we'd love to hear what you thought about the season/series and what surprised you the most. Let us know in our comments on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

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TW: This episode contains discussion about sexual violence depicted in the show. If you don't want to listen to this part, please skip 18:02 - 25:28.

Gwen Stefani created quite the controversy in the US when she recently doubled down on her claim that she "is Japanese," but for the most part, actual Japanese people and those outside of the US don't understand what all the fuss is about.

In this episode, we revisit Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers past and pick apart why claiming Asian culture & identity has different implications for Asians in the US vs. Asians living in the actual country/culture being taken from. How can something that is clearly seen as cultural appropriation by Americans be seen as cultural appreciation by those living in the actual country of origin of that culture? 

Is there a right or wrong way to think about this? What do you think? Let us know your thoughts on social media!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom 

It's the final episode of the "season!" And what better way to close out a holiday season than to talk about quirky things around gifting?

Giving gifts is such a fun part of any culture, but it can be governed by many invisible rules you might not be aware of. With our Asian upbringing in mind, we recount typical gift-giving situations amongst our Asian families. From the right gifts to the wrong gifts, we discuss all of the hidden elements to gift giving in Eastern culture. While some things are quite obvious, such as unlucky words or numbers, there is a surprising amount of untold mannerisms behind certain gift exchanges.

Of course, it wouldn't be a typical episode without also contrasting with our experience of gift-giving in Western culture. Through our discussion, we found a surprising number of gift-giving rules to overlap between the cultures. In the end, it seems like gift-giving is a way to communicate all kinds of positive intentions - no matter what culture you find yourself in.

Have you ever found yourself in a foreign gift-giving scenario? Let us know in our comments on TikTok or on Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

How much do you know about couples counseling or couples therapy besides what you may have seen in trashy reality TV representations? To us, it feels like couples therapy is still a rather taboo subject, despite the idea of individual therapy gaining more mainstream acceptance. So what do you do when your relationship is facing repeated issues that you're not able to solve, but you're embarrassed to ask friends or family about professional help?

Today we're sharing our personal experiences with couples counseling/couples therapy, and we hope by talking transparently with you about it, we'll encourage those of you who have been wanting to seek out help, to do so. From why we were initially interested in seeking out this resource, to different methodologies that we've encountered, to how it's different from individual therapy, to how we found our resources, to if we think couples counseling/therapy is really necessary for all couples... we open up about it all!

Are you interested in couples counseling? Are you already in it? What has been the most valuable thing you've gotten out of it? Or why would you NOT want to seek out this resource? Let us know in the comments on our Instagram or TikTok!

Follow us on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod and on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom

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Resources we discuss (not sponsored):

• The Couples Institute: www.thecouplesinstitute.com
• Alma: www.helloalma.com 

Self-love and self-care go hand-in-hand, but how do we find a way to embrace these concepts authentically? 

In thinking about the self-work that we've done, we talk about how self-love and self-care relate. The podcast has always been about our struggles and introspection on the different aspects of our identity - even the parts we aren't fond of. Embracing all the different aspects of who we are can be difficult and messy, but doing so is the only way to truly find compassion for yourself. 

In finding yourself, we also discuss the importance of not using self-care as escapism. Maintaining a healthy balance between external and internal validation will ensure self-care doesn't end up in self-indulgence. 

How do you feel you relate to yourself? Let us know in our comments on TikTok or on Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

Is there a reliable way to predict what's coming in the future? Sometimes, we just need to look to the past to inform what changes we might see soon! 

In The Fourth Turning, authors Neil Howe and William Strauss postulate that four unique generational archetypes govern the changes we see in American history. Each generation's development is informed by the events and social conditions of the previous generation. The archetypes feed into each other cyclically, creating repeating patterns of growth and decay. 

Angela and Jesse reflect on how the archetypes do and do not resonate with each of them. They discuss when the current phase of historical events will end and how the world might look after this current world "turning" or "season" ends.

Which archetype do you fit in and does it resonate with you? Chime in on our comments on Tik Tok or Instagram what your thoughts are!

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We're all searching for the "one," but what if there was more than one "one" for you out there? What would it take to work it out with multiple loves in your life? 

We've talked about dating and open relationships before, and we're taking it one step further with a discussion on polyamory. Many of you brought up this type of relationship structure on TikTok when we discussed open relationships, so in this episode we talk more about how this structure works and is different from other structures. Polyamorous folks may have more than one significant relationship in their lives. Some of them might have a more hierarchical relationship structure, while others split their time evenly among their various partners. Relationship structures are a very personal matter - Angela and Jesse both weigh in on why or why not they believe polyamory might be a good fit for them.

Is your curiosity piqued by this topic? Chime in on our comments on TikTok or Instagram with your thoughts!

Follow us on TikTok: @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and Instagram: @whereareyoufrompod

As many of you know, Angela has been living that digital nomad life for the past year and a half. 

In this episode, we talk about how the pandemic has opened up remote work possibilities, including how governmental bodies (from countries down to cities) are trying to attract this newly mobile class of workers through generous digital nomad visas to literally paying people to start families to counteract declining fertility rates. 

We then discuss the pros and cons of this new way of life for both remote workers themselves as well as for the local residents of these places that are becoming hot spots for this massive influx of nomadic workers (i.e., Portugal, Mexico City). Is the short-term economic benefit of welcoming these remote workers' dollars enough to justify gentrification and cultural erasure? How come governmental bodies haven't worked through policy to strike the right balance?

What do you think about all this? Are you a digital nomad yourself? Or, do you live somewhere that's changed massively since the start of remote work migration? Let us know your thoughts in the comments on our social media accounts!

Follow us on TikTok at @butwhereareyoureallyfrom and on Instagram at @whereareyoufrompod

*Podcaster Notes:

• Nothing discussed is financial advice. Regarding taxes, while it's true that many countries do not charge income tax on income earned outside of their country (i.e., if the company you're remote working for is based elsewhere), each country is different. Please consult the tax regulations of the country you're considering moving to and do your own research.
  
• In discussing Japan's border restrictions, this episode was recorded prior to their opening. The country has opened its borders to tourists again starting October 11th.
  
• Switzerland does not officially have a digital nomad visa. They have a longer term stay "Type D" visa. The minimum income requirement is not set, though generally you'll have to prove you have sufficient funds to live in the country, where cities like Zurich can cost ~$5K/month in living expenses.