Call It: What You Want

It's the holiday season and we're digging into some festive topics.

Matteo asks why Santa Claus is so sexually alluring, Aj brings some liquid history to the table, and Alex invites a parasitic plant to the party! All the tidings for a happy holiday.

If you're interested ina thanksgiving and all that comes with it then this one's for you. We talk about a fully liquid thanksgiving and if that's not quite your style we Dew add a little extra solids to the mix. We also analyze the headspace of our newly apparated relatives who have odd eating habits.

Have you ever read a great piece of fiction and thought deeply about its characters, themes and other integral parts of its story? Have you ever decided to comb through fanfic to find a piece that is just absolutely perfect for doing so? Well we haven't but we made an attempt anyway

Unfortunately Matteo has been drafted into the skeleton army and couldn't make this episode. It's unfortunate he would have love learning about crow funerals and where Jack o' Lanterns came from. Which is what we discuss today. We learn bird names are fake and it's surprisingly easy to fool the Devil.

Have you ever wondered how holy Pokemon is? or how it relates in any way, shape or form to the church, well you're in luck. We discuss the Vatican vouching for Pokemon as a friendly game and not Satan as well as other pope and pokemon inspire topics. Now is the time to pick your favorite pokemon and challenge the pope for his position.

Alex and AJ Decided after many years to rewatch Digimon adventure, after doing so decided they should talk about it and watched the first arc again. We critique, discuss, and generally be confused by what we all know as the digital world.

Do you believe in magic? If so, do you believe that using balloons to fly over a desert is magic? David Blaine certainly does and we're here to discuss his most recent "trick" along with some other famous magicians and what they're doing in their free time, or their plans to make celestial bodies dissapear.

Do you like looking into the mirror and crying because of how ugly you are? You might be a squonk, hop on the bus to nowhere to you can be sad and just sit on a bus for several years while everyone around you does the same thing. You could also take a trip to some stairs of an unknown location and find your way to the 2005 gallery in Philadelphia, have fun!

CIWYW stands for Call It What You Want, but today we explore some other less guessable acronyms and make some adjustments to those old lame outdated ones. Also,  who would you choose, and why is it the 10,000 rats all named George Foreman that you have an emotional connection to?

 A new gourmet pizza restaurant popped up overnight during quarantine, and it just happened to be in the same places as a popular children's arcade-style restaurant. 

The Nation learned of a new-ish way to gauge natural disaster and it all revolves around waffles.

While the country was locked down for a month, some wild things happened that you might not have heard about. We're catching you up on some of the weirder stories that happened while we were all staying inside.

New things are in store for the future of CIWYW so look forward to better produced(hopefully) and more interesting (also hopefully) content.

The Long awaited finale to our fantasy fight bracket is finally here. The Jonas Brothers and their magical, musical incantations take on Jack Skellington and his new sentient goo friend. An extensive list of powers is supposed to be put on display and we learn about Jack's past and the Jonas Brothers' future.

Bringing the semi-finals to a close, The all mighty Jonas Brothers take on the power absorbing warlock, Mr. Six. Truly a battle of Gods can only be one thing, a battle the winner of whom goes on to fight Jack Skellington in the finals.

The first match of round three is Tony the Tiger and Jack Skellington. Both are extremely formidable beings and we delve into why they are as strong as they are in this episode, the first match takes a bit longer than expected so the boys at the FFF are going to have to be stuck in their studio a bit longer.

The boys are finally back to continue the May Madness bracket. Einstein and Tony the tiger find themselves facing off at school, Jack skellington needs to overcome his instability in order to fight Dr Phil, Mr. Six must find a way to even battle Sunny D, and The Jonas Brothers are up against a powerful horse sized duck. Heavy hitter start to make their way onwards and the rest are left in the dust.

We've returned once again, this time with an exciting hour long bit! The event you never asked for and were extremely confused by when we asked for your input. Thats right its the first round of our Fantasy Fight Bracket! We return to some of our greatest competitors and have them dish it out in a 1-on-1 sort of fight.

The Clean Paladin faces the Kaiju of a Duck in a truly fantasy battle, Einstein has stolen the Krispy Code and the Rice Krispy boys want it back, Tony The tiger decides that being a dad sometimes means making hard decisions when he sees the monstrous Pillsbury Dough Boy, Mimes attempt to contain the power packed taste of the sun, and jack skellington and Doodlebob attempt to out-celever one another.

Only 5 will continue to the second round where some of our most powerful fighters await!

We're asking the tough questions, like what food would be most digestible in smoothie form? And will the Olive Garden let you bring your own blender in? 

We struggle to name even four actors for our Mario Brothers Movie recasting. Luckily we're here to educate you on the many species of Jackhammers and the struggles they're facing. 

Bet ya didn't know there's a candy desk hiding somewhere in the U.S. Government.

Meeting culture has run amok. Our hi-jinks in the workplace, and fixing a resume. Planters got rid of their fully grown Peanut, and we're making up ad campaigns for other products. What are some Teen Jobs? Because we're looking for work.

Fantasy FIght: Paul Blart Mall Cop must find and capture the magical Six Flags Dancing Man.

Back from a long Holiday break, into Movie Awards season. We've got: The horrifying, demented and hilarious reviews of Cats, the TV show. Adam Sandler's plans for revenge against the Academy.

This Fantasy Fight slips into corporate sabotage of childhood sweets. It's the Keebler Elves vs. The Rice Krispy Boys.

The Butthole cheat code:

Let’s talk about the newest craze that’s hitting the wide-open sunny areas of Arizona, Butt Tanning! Taking mouth vitamins not making you healthy fast enough? The butthole is the next best thing...I guess.

Have you tanned your butthole lately, and has Ra, the Egyptian God of the Sun smiled down on you?

Restaurant Purgatory:

Ra has punished you for not keeping your butthole in order, you can now only eat at one food establishment for the rest of your life. Let’s talk about where you’re trapped for the rest of your life.

Name That Nemesis:

The world is a cold and boring place without a person to absolutely despise and compete against. So let’s talk about how you can find yours today!

He's not exactly a star, but he is our guest because one of us is busy. 

Let’s talk about the legality of ghosts and zombies serving a life sentence and the disappointment of Pokemon fans. We're making up our own pokemon and daydreaming about putting together several bands, including a 4th wave of ska!

Eric makes a Nicktoons crossover for this Fantasy Fight, but not one you’d wanna see.

Let's talk about Frankenstein's monster. How do we preserve him? Does he want kids? Is he the result of a Capri-Sun curse?

Disney isn't giving Ratatouille the love it deserves, so we're taking on planning the sequel, Rata2ille! Along the way, we'll make our own elaborate scam to get celebrity chefs to come hang out with us. 

Have you pranked your friends lately? We'll help you out with some excellent prank ideas.

This week's Fantasy Fight puts two kings against each other as The Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington takes on Jareth the King of the goblins. 

We’re disregarding Spooky season for something with a bit more flavor.

Let’s talk about soup season. How do we elevate the season to stand on its own against holidays like Halloween? Display your soup like you would a line of pumpkins!

If you could convince large groups of people to chant anything at any time, what would you make them chant?

Did we...did we forget about spooky season? Almost, let’s make your decorations less threatening to the neighbors.

We also got some fat bears!

This week's Fantasy Fight pits a couple of clowns against each other in a battle of class, strategy and whoops. It's Mimes vs. Juggalos

Let's talk about Wendy's new tabletop game and how other fast-food restaurants will try to capitalize on nerd culture; FoodCon coming soon! 

We've got a totally new Lesson of Lore for you! The English have no mythology, King Arthur's herbs and spices, and Tom Brady is the witch who invented clam chowder.

The Fantasy Fight pits two childhood forces against each other as the unleashed power of the sun takes on a pouch's curse. It's Sunny D vs. CapriSun.

Let’s talk about how late it is an- wait, let’s talk about the technical difficulties we’re experiencing instead. We’ve taken three steps back in studio quality and we cannot get over it, but we hope you can!

Area 51 week was filled with success from alien culture enthusiasts and society’s most prestigious Toms, Tom Bodet and Tom Delonge. John Mayer blows some minds and we get scientific.

This Fantasy Fight takes a classic and turns it in on itself when A horse-sized duck takes on one hundred duck-sized horses.

Let’s talk about monkeys on a typewriter, and their workers conflict with the Cheesecake Factory. What makes a pie, and does a Hot Pocket qualify?

This week's Fantasy Fight goes off the rails and makes a spooky tag-team a little too sexy as The Monopoly Man and Mr. Pringle take on Count Chocula and the puppet from SAW.

Let's talk about revolutionizing flavored water, reinventing some nasty foods,the validity of gravy and Hasbro's new business ventures.

This Fantasy Fight is a battle of the best dads. Who is raising you right, Chester Cheeto or Tony the Tiger?

Let's talk about 'ol Jimmy Sanders' rise to power in the gas station chicken world, and all the roadblocks in the plan to raid area 51.

This Fantasy Fight is Brains vs. Brawn as the Colonel takes on a man who has a problem with his chicken, and that man's name... was Albert Einstein.

Let's talk about how often you use your Cults Rewards Card, what your crimes are and what you want to eat.

This Fantasy Fight will leave you feeling squeaky clean as Mr. Clean takes on the Power of PineSol.

It's our first episode!

Let's talk about fish, McDonald's special egg and a fantasy fight between the Jonas Brothers and the Mario Brothers.