The Choosing Brave Podcast

Anne Villano is an artist on a mission. She is a military spouse and social work grad student who is passionate about the power of creative therapies for the military community.

“When your dreams change, it’s a sign that there’s something better out there...you have to push forward and believe in yourself.” Stephanie Cuepo Wobby served as a combat medic for seven years in the Army, and is now dreaming forward as a writer. She is pursuing her M.F.A. in writing at Columbia University. Stephanie is the editor-in-chief for The Line Literary Review, which is a unique publication from Columbia University that features “artistic works for and by the military and veteran community.”

Stephanie is no stranger to embracing bravery in her life. She shares that “(being) brave to me is doing something that’s right even though it’s hard and pushing forward even when you don’t want to.”

“I’m passionate about breaking military spouses out of imposter syndrome because all it’s doing is holding us back as a community. We are all truly connected by one thing: our spouse chose to serve...and we are just trying to do our best alongside them.”

Not only does Jayla Rae Ardelean offer insights into breaking free from imposter syndrome, she also speaks on the challenges and unique perspective late career milspouses face, and advocates for how the military spouse community can utilize mentorship. She shares, “the process of coming back to yourself is the hardest thing to do. Sometimes you need a mirror to show you how much you’ve grown.”

You will leave this episode with tangible steps you can take to walk forward with purpose as a military spouse.

“(I realized) none of my feelings would challenge the truth of who God is.” This conversation with Amy Grass is an honor and an inspiration. She unpacks the story of her miscarriage during the pandemic for listeners and invites us into a journey of walking in both hardship and faith.

“Grief isn’t linear. I like organization, expectations, and control...but (grief) ebbs and flows. You don’t just get through it. In other trials in my life, there’s been an endpoint, but this will never go away. (Our baby) River will always be part of our story and we will always carry that grief. I think accepting that has been big for our family.”

Amy is also a brilliant writer, podcaster, and baker. She has found that “my purpose in writing is to tell what is true and make others feel less alone...Bravery feels a lot like faith to me.”

There is so much laughter in this conversation, and the strength to search for truth and hope in God.

“Once the stretching season is over it is going to bear fruit...but only if I work on my self-control in the process.” Join host Lindsay as she reflects on a season that is stretching both her and her family.

Reflection Questions for Listeners:

1. What extras are we doing? What extras am I doing?
2. How can I find peace in present chaos?
3. How do I want to feel at the end of this season?
4. What fruit of the spirit am I being called to work on?

The nine fruits of the spirit are as follows: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

The book mentioned in this episode is Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry by Katrina Kenison

“Am I behind if I’m the one setting the pace?” Join host Lindsay as she unpacks how to set ourselves up for a break. 

A break that we do not have to earn by endless toil, but can be embraced as freely given.

Reflection Questions for Listeners:

1. Why do you fear taking a break?
   
2. What does a “break” look like to you?
   
3. How/When will you schedule your next break?
   
4. How will you come back from your break?
   

Mentioned in this episode:

Becky Hoy shares with us that “there is a distinction between intentional self care and crashing. Intentional self care means that we are creating a life that we don’t need to hide from, a life that feels fluid, feels good for you, that you have set boundaries in your life that leave space for you to BREATHE.”

You will be getting out your pens and paper for this episode! Take notes as Becky breaks down  how to:

Establish our rocks in the river, which are critical for our own family’s well being, and they help to make everything else optional.

Reframe a deployment. There can be a paradox of finding JOY in a painful season. In Becky’s experience, “Deployment forced me out of my comfort zone and forced me to create habits, systems, and routines in my life that transformed me and transformed my relationship.”

Approach reintegration as a season of dating.

Becky also answers the question of when to begin or when to wait as a budding milspouse entrepreneur.

This conversation will give you courage to look at your life with new eyes. Or, as Becky puts it: “Being brave for me means taking a hard look at the reality I’m living in, embracing it, and stepping into that unknown to make a way forward.”

Host Lindsay Swoboda chose the word DELIGHT to represent her year. But is she anywhere close to finding and feeling delight on a daily basis?

She is working on it, by making small changes which include: reimagining her morning routine, adding beauty every day, and being able to evaluate and choose something different depending on her and her family’s needs.

Reflection Questions for Listeners:

1. What is one place in your life that you can decide once about? (thanks Kendra Adachi!)
   
2. What are some routines that aren’t working for you?
   
3. What are some ways you can add beauty to your day?
   
4. What is one thing you have lost that would add a flicker of delight if you brought it back in some way?
   

Mentioned in this Episode:

“Being able to create art out of peoples’ lives is very meaningful to me.”

Melissa Sheridan is an Air Force spouse, mom of two daughters, and runs her own portrait and wedding photography business in Charlottesville, Virginia. She shares how developing her photography business was a challenge. “The first step is the hardest...everything starts with a one step.”

The height of her business grew out of a time where her husband was getting deployed, and yet the military community came alongside her in support. Continuing her business has meant constant re-evaluation and leaning into seasons of life.

She has learned that “it’s easy to think (that when) you’re not going from point A to point B in this exact rhythm that you had planned that something is off, but let things happen to you and do not be so hard on yourself for the things that did not happen.”

This conversation will help you take stock of your big dream, and give you permission to be in the season you are in.

In this special episode for military families, host Lindsay and her husband Ryan talk through how they have approached moving six times as a family. How do you transition well? Their moves have criss-crossed the globe, from CA to Seoul, South Korea. From there to HI. From HI to Morocco. Morocco to Ecuador, and Ecuador on to VA. They know they have more moves ahead of them.

You could say they have some experience (wink) on dealing with the highs and lows of packing, unpacking, flying, making the most of each location, working with one another’s strengths and stressors, deciding when they should take leave, how to see family, and how to help kids adjust. Join them for this in-depth discussion (and a few laughs!) on how to move well.

"Rest is the pause that we take when we stop pouring out for others and fill up our own cup. It is essential. Rest is waiting for you, you don’t have to earn it. You are worthy of rest right now, today, in this present moment.” Erin Strybis joins us on the podcast to unpack all things REST. 

In this episode we discuss how to recognize signs of burnout, why we sometimes withhold the rest we need, and how we are working to push against hustle culture by making real, rejuvenating rest a priority.

Erin is a writer and editor based in Chicago who loves connecting with other moms through storytelling. As the mom of one strong-willed preschooler, she believes the secret to motherhood is leaning into grace.

“She made herself stronger by fighting with the wind,” this quote from The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett kicks off Season 2 of The Choosing Brave Podcast. Join host Lindsay for this solo episode where she explores how she’s both getting back to hope after a hard year.

She shares how we can dig to find the fruits of our labors, create a delight list, and how the practice of noticing the life in front of her is making all the difference.

We made it to the Season One Finale! Join host Lindsay for this solo episode where we unpack Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, give ourselves permission to change up the plan, and make a good list. If you've been a listener this season, THANK YOU! To create anything this year, AND to share it, feels like a feat. Celebrating YOU and whatever your next brave step is.

Remember that time in a pandemic I started a podcast? And then had a baby? And then thought, “when will I ever write, create, record, have anything to say again?!” Eventually, we get to come back to the other extras in life- and hopefully, we come back refreshed and excited.

In this episode, Let’s Catch Up, I’m talking about all things of life lately, including a healthy dose of how I’m learning to run my own race (without any actual running involved). I talk about our birth story, 21 days of Whole 30, and how the word capacity is helping me out.

“Being true to you is often very brave...and sometimes when you do need to change you feel it inside a long time before you’re willing to admit it to yourself.”

Katie is a Kentucky native turned New Yorker who loves musical theater, traveling the world, hiking up mountains, reading historical fiction and eating her away across NYC. Katie moved to Manhattan to pursue theater and spent several years performing around the country at both regional theatres and on a national tour. Favorite roles include Belle in Beauty and the Beast, Jane Eyre in Jane Eyre the Musical and Maria in The Sound of Music. In her interview, Katie leads us on her quest to change dreams- and what it looked like to slowly let go of one in order to make space and pave a new path to herself without performing as her identity.

Katie is currently a member of a vintage entertainment group called America’s Sweethearts and is thankful for the opportunity to continue to share her music. Katie currently lives in Brooklyn and spends her days teaching chess to children and dreaming about her next travel adventure.

Katie Haahr takes us on her path from the east coast of America to the west coast- from telework to landing a new job, and then getting let go by the company and starting her own business. She is now the Founder and CEO of KatieHaahr.com where she helps women in their early twenties figure out all the “non-sexy but essential” life skills that no one really talks about (aka: adulting).

Katie is now a “virtual big sister” for girls like her, and creates resources designed to help women feel less alone and navigate life as an adult with confidence.

“I feel the most brave when I’m the most scared- but I’m not letting that fear hold me back.”

“Art saved me. Art was the one thing…that I was drawn to, I leaned on, and it became this coping mechanism to help me through my day to day.”

Anne Villano leads us in a discussion on her personal experience with Bipolar Depression, and how she has become courageously vulnerable on her journey.

Anne is a mother, painter, military spouse, and graduate social work student. She received a B.F.A. in Graphic Design from The College of Saint Rose and because of the frequent moves of military life; she decided to take the leap into being a professional artist. She has had her artwork and writing featured in Legacy Magazine with hopes of expanding these opportunities. Working with many mediums starting with acrylic paint and ending with oils, it is her goal to create a moment where the viewer feels something or even better, begins a conversation.

After graduate school, Anne’s goal is to use her MSW degree coupled with her talent and love of artwork to establish a creative therapy program for active duty service members and their families. This program would utilize multiple creative therapies to reveal to active duty members artistic coping skills that can be exercised when in crisis.

15 voices from across the nation. Mamas hailing from Georgia, Virginia, Alaska, Hawaii, New York, Spain, California...the list goes on. 15 writers capture their experiences in the times of COVID-19 on The Choosing Brave Podcast and offer them as pieces of their hearts that breathe hope.

Meet the Writers that shine their light in this special edition:

Amanda is a military spouse and veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer including a deployment to Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband’s military career. She is the host and creator of the Women of the Military Podcast sharing the stories of women who have served or continue to serve in the military.  

"(My) Podcast has been a healing journey for me. There was a hole that I didn't know was in my heart (that is now) filled up because I get to talk with other women about their military experience." 

What does love require? Join host Lindsay Swoboda for this special edition of The Choosing Brave Podcast, dedicated to Military Appreciation Month.

“Love has required sacrifices and strengths I could have never imagined. It doesn’t stop requiring it. Somehow I learn to keep giving, as all military spouses do.”

Mallory from @mamas_onthe_move and the DITY Mama Blog is an Army wife of eleven years. Her family has moved 9 times in 11 years and they have lived in 11 homes (and the number keeps on growing). She utilizes this experience to help military families with their own DITY (Do it Yourself) moves.

She has a master’s degree in Psychology with a specialization in marriage and family therapy and is currently a stay at home mom to 3 precious kids. Her perspective on moving her life so frequently is refreshing and encouraging. “I have to actively remind myself to search for good and the beauty in each place and the opportunities that await…It really is all about the perspective and the attitude.”

“It’s easier to regret not doing something than to do it. Do not let your life be full of ‘what ifs.’” Colombian born and raised photographer Zayda Barros of @zaydabarrosphotography joins The Choosing Brave Podcast to discuss how she has shifted within cultures as she’s lived around the world with her Navy husband, son, and 9 year old stubborn Scottie dog.

Zayda has a contagious zest for life, and she shares how to foster a deep love of traveling, how one photograph gave her the confidence to launch her career, and how to reframe change from hardship to privilege.

In the first episode of The Choosing Brave Podcast host Lindsay Swoboda delves into her own journey navigating several job transitions from performer to teacher to stay at home mom to free lance writer.  She has moved six times is eleven years, all over the world from California, Hawaii, Korea, Morocco, Ecuador, and back to the USA. As a military spouse, creative, and mother she weathered change both well...and terribly.