Coaching Leaders

David Burkus is one of the world’s leading business thinkers. Since 2017, David has been ranked as one of the world’s top business thought leaders by Thinkers50. His best-selling books have won multiple awards and have been translated into dozens of languages. 

As a leadership coach and organisational psychologist, David's work is changing how companies approach innovation, collaboration, and leadership.

David's latest book: "Leading from anywhere. The essential guide to managing remote teams", is the topic of this conversation.

Here are a few things that I have discussed with David:

-How to set up and lead remote teams.

-Feedback culture within remote teams.

-What's the future of WFH will look like.

To learn more from David how to lead teams remotely, check out those links:

Robin Dreeke is a best-selling author, professional speaker, trainer, and retired FBI Special Agent and Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program.

As a master spy recruiter and Behavioral Analysis Expert, Robin built highly effective tools for all aspects and stages of interpersonal communication and relationship development.

He has combined all these tools and techniques and created a one-of-a-kind formula for success with people. Today, Robin is a recognized expert, author, and gifted lecturer in the art of interpersonal communication, relationship building and Trust. These skills are used every day in leadership, sales, human resources, and all aspects of life, both business and personal.

"Everything in life comes down to being able to create great trust, great relationships, great partnership and create a circle of trust inside of organisations"

Show  notes

During our conversation, we have discussed:

• To become a great leader, we have to shift the focus from ourselves to others.

Robin's formula consists of building into our communication those 4 things:

1. Seek the thoughts and opinions and others, rather than giving them yours
2. Talk in terms of their priorities instead of yours
3. Be non-judgmentally curious
4. Give people choices

Doing at least one of them in each conversation makes people like and trust you instantly.

• How important is managing expectations are when building relationships and how to do it effectively
• The difficult conversation often starts with us saying "Stan by, I am about to throw you out of the tribe". Robin explained what managers can do differently to avoid this, frequently unintended, situation.

Here are few more places where you can learn more from Robin Dreeke on building rapport, trust and meaningful relationships:

Mark Bowden is a global authority on nonverbal communication. Voted #1 Body Language Professional in the world for two years running makes him a sought-after expert and incredibly engaging keynote speaker.

Mark’s work is consistently invaluable to sales and leadership teams, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, and prime ministers of G7 powers.

His Tedx Talk reached millions and in my opinion, is one of the most engaging Ted Talks ever delivered. It perfectly encapsulates Mark's expertise as Body Language Professional and his exceptional Public Speaking skills.

He is a bestselling author of 4 books on the subject of body language and human behaviour, with his first book Winning Body Language now translated into five different languages.

What have we discussed with Mark:

• Am I an authentic person?
• There are situations like creating video content or live interviews. where my body language is animated like in my videos, and there are moments when sit and talk still.
• Which version of me is the authentic Raf?
• Turns out that I (and you as well) are like diamonds!
• I was curious about how can leaders build more trust through their body language. Mark explained, using my wrestling background, what is the body language of calm and assertive.
• As we are spending more and more time leading people remotely, I was wondering how can managers build more trust and credibility on video calls.
• Mark demonstrated how can you adjust your settings to be more engaging and likeable, therefore more trustworthy.
• I'd like to become a highly engaging speaker that moves people, so I asked Mark what's the best place to start mastering our public speaking skills. "There is a way better way than starting with words".

To learn more from Mark Bowden how to build more trust and gain credibility, follow those links:

Derek Gaunt is a lecturer, trainer, author of "Ego, Authority, Failure and member of the Balck Swan Group. With over 20 years of experience in hostage negotiations, Derek is versed in de-escalating emotions and returning people to a normal functioning level for better decision-making and behavioural change.

"Ego, Authority, Failure: Using Emotional Intelligence Like a Hostage Negotiator to Succeed as a Leader" is filled with actionable tips that can help front-line managers, middle managers, and C-suite executives grow as leaders to inspire their teams and achieve their business goals.

Just like hostage negotiators use truly universal techniques, the skills taught in this book can apply to nearly every business situation.

During this conversation, Derek walked me through the hostage negotiator's tactics and tools and showed me how to apply them to feedback conversations scenarios and difficult conversations with employees.

SHOW NOTES:

Tactical Empathy

Is a solution to any relationship! You will learn various tools that combined, will help you establish trust and defuse emotionally charged conversation.

"We call it tactical empathy because it's deliberate and it is strategic. The best purveyors of tactical empathy are hostage negotiators and sociopaths. We both use it because we know it's effective."

Accusation Audit

To create psychological safety, hostage negotiators starting with accusations early on. 

You will hear how Derek starts performance review with accusation audit and explains why it is so effective.

"There is no clearer way for you to demonstrate that you are trying to see it from their perspective than for you to start verbalising things that they haven't even said yet".

"No" Oriented Question

Another counterintuitive at first, and highly effective tactic.

If you'd like people to say yes to your request, formulate a question that makes them say "NO"

"People are "YES" addicted "YES" is becoming a dirty word.

YES means obligation, YES means commitment, Yes means I HAVE NO ROOM. You are giving them a choice when you change to NO ORIENTED question. They feel like they have an option."

Quick 2 plus 1

It's a combination of 3 simple tools that the Black Swan Group is coaching their students that will give you an edge in every negotiation or difficult conversation.

Derek coached me on how to use Labelling, Mirroring and Dynamic Pause.

Two hacks on how to stay cool ahead of the difficult conversation

I asked Derek how did he keep his ego and authority at bay when negotiating with criminals?

To further progress your negotiation and leadership skills, connect with Derek, check out the Black Swan Group and grab his book "Ego, Authority, Failure":

EQ is a better success predictor than IQ for managers, and as leaders, we need to spend more time developing our Emotional Intelligence skills and looking back at my career, it's a piece that I was missing during my early management years.

Catherine De La Poer and Kris Macc are EQ champions and my today's guests that helped me understand how to build a team with EQ at its heart.

As EQ coaches and Keynote Speakers, Cath and Kriss are helping leaders across the globe developing EQ skills and build thriving, resilient and engaged teams.

The synergy between Cath and Kriss is unique and it brings the best out of their slightly different coaching styles and backgrounds.

In this episode we have discussed:

-How to build trust with your team from the scratch

-Is there a place for vulnerability in leadership?

-Why Cath shouldn't be promoted to her first management role at the age of 22, and why her deputy was a better choice

-Importance of Self-Awareness.

-How I discovered what triggers my terrible behaviour towards my employees(and how I solved it)

-Empathy: one of the most important and hardest skills to develop.

-3 questions that Kriss is asking her clients that will help anyone develop more empathy

-Empathy within multicultural teams

Are you up for a small challenge to share your feedback with a feedback coach?

Let me know your thoughts about this episode, and send me an email at Raf@feedbackcoach.co.uk

I love receiving very detailed feedback!

Connect with Kris Macc:

Dr Helena Boschi is a psychologist specialising in applied neuroscience that helps organisations across the globe understand and benefit from neuroscience that explains why we do what we do. Dr Helena is an author of the book titled 'Why We Do What We Do' which seeks to explain how the workings of our brain affect our behaviour and how we should be dealing with the modern world of increasing technology, rapid change and constant uncertainty.

In this episode, Helena helped me understand:

• the neuroscience of the "Feedback Sandwich" technique and why it doesn't work.
  
• I have learned about the devil sibling of placebo: nocebo and how it impacts our feedback conversations.
  
• You will also learn how to leverage the words "because" and "but" based on how our brain processes them.
  

To learn more about Dr Helena Boschi or to book her as a keynote speaker:

No day goes by without facing a problem that needs to be solved between our professional and private lives. Solving problems consume a lot of our time and energy, so it's worth pausing and question our approach.

Here is what I found out when I read "What's your problem". I am often busy with solving wrong problems and I apply wrong solutions. The results? I am losing time, money and health. Ouch!

Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg is a Harvard Business Press author and a globally recognized expert on reframing, innovation, and problem-solving. 

In this episode we discussed:

-What is reframing

-How to involve others in the problem-solving process

-Debunked common wisdom about problem-solving

-Our personal and professional examples of applying Thomas's methodology.

This episode is for absolutely everyone, from parents to managers and founders. Save yourself a precious time and energy, and learn a better way to solve your problems. Problems won't go away, but we can get a lot better at solving them!

If you wonder how can you connect with Thomas, here are few links for you:

Andrea Wänerstrand is a leadership coach and the Lead of Coaching Programs for Microsoft on the Worldwide Learning, Manager & Leader Capabilities team.
At Microsoft, Andrea is working with a community of 16,000+ managers across 100+ countries, and helping them develop coach-like behaviours.

If you are spending a majority of your time as a manager on solving other people's problems and challenges, then this episode is for you!
Unfortunately, most of the teams tend to operate with a fixed mindset, where failures are devastating and challenges are to be avoided. There is a solution to it: The Growth Midset. A way of leaving, where failure does not define who we are and instead, it's embraced as an opportunity to learn and grow.

In this episode, Adrea shared with me very practical ways that will help every manager bring the Growth Mindset into their teams.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to develop the Growth Mindset. It's a gift that keeps on giving, so tune in and learn with me how to develop it!
You will enjoy this episode just as much as I did!

You can connect and learn more from Andrea here:

What would happen if managers would stop treating their teams as employees, and instead started treating others and themselves as human beings?

Mark LeBusque asked himself this question years ago, drew a plan and executed it. The results? As Mark told me: "Raf, magic happened". Results went through the roof, and I am not surprised at all.

Today Mark is on the mission of helping teams bringing the best human version of themselves to work.

Mark wrote two books: "Being Human" and "The Little Book Of Human", set up his consultancy business, launched a podcast "The Simply Practically Human" and speaks in stages across the globe.

Tune in to see how can you, in a very practical way, be the best human version of yourself at work.

Here are a few places where you can connect with Mark:

When your team is happy, all the metrics are spiking up. Klaudia helped me understand not just the numbers behind happy employees but HOW to boost happiness in the workplace to drive business growth and innovation. Klaudia Mitura is a work psychologist, L&D specialist co-host of "& Happiness podcast.  Klaudia's approach towards learning and development is based on empowerment, mastery and purpose and you can hear how passionate she is about it!

Tune in and find out how to boost happiness within your team in a very practical way. 

You can connect with Klaudia on:

COVID pandemic requires from managers and business owners different ways of thinking. Innovation, courage and honesty are needed to find ways out of this challenging situation. 

 That's what "Honest Burgers" are great at (on top of crafting incredibly good burgers!).

This was a very enjoyable, casual and candid conversation with Philip Eeles, co-founder of "Honest Burgers" who shared with me what "Honest Burgers" does differently to keep the team engaged, to boost the morale and improve the retention of "Honest" team. 

You can connect with Philip on: 

Companies are obsessing with "Customer Service". In the digital age "User Experience" is a must. 

How about your people? How about their and your experience? We no longer can use old HR practices and global pandemic only proved how important employee experience is.

Ben Whitter is a pioneer and a world-leading figure within EX, best-selling author and sought after speaker and in this episode, we are going to learn more about EX and what can managers do to create a top-notch experience whilst working for you.

As Ben says: "Experience is everything. From pre-hire to retire, using the experience as a lens, we can maximize all the interactions an individual has with an employer over the long-term to create a deep sense of belonging and co-create high performance and stronger business outcomes

To reach out and learn more from Ben, please visit:

If you could read just one book about coaching your team, then read "The Coaching Habit".

In his best-selling book, Michael Bungay Stanier simplified coaching process for managers and with the follow-up book: "The Advice Trap", Michel showed us how to tame our advice monster and stay curious for a little bit longer.

Sounds easy? Yes. But it's pretty damn hard!

Tune in and learn how to become a coaching-like manager and get the best out of your team. Having Michael coaching me during the interview was an absolute cherry on the top. Within ten minutes, I experienced what makes him #1 thought leader in coaching.

To connect with Michael and learn more from him, check out:

You were asked to lead a high performing team but weren't trained on how to develop a high performing mindset within your team? It's a missing puzzle that the sports industry understands very well.

Dan Abrahams is a sports psychologist who held senior psychology positions including Lead Psychologist for England Golf (2013-2016) and to England Rugby (2017-2018).

In this episode, we are breaking down how to develop a High Performing Mindset within your team and for yourself. 

Dan walked me through some tactics about building a mental framework tha leads to high performance, and I was translating it into the work environment and how managers can extract from the vast experience of sports psychology.

To connect with Dan and learn more from his incredibly valuable content, check out:

As Cody Royle explains it :"There is an industry, and it's called sport, that has 140 years of experience, quality tested and quality assured ideas around how to organise, utilise people and to put them in the position to succeed."

In this episode, we are going to look at what managers can draw from the world of sport to build successful teams.

Cody Royle is the Head Coach of Canada’s national men’s AFL program, author of the book "Where others won't" and podcast host of the show with this same title, which was nominated for a Podcast Award in 2019. In his podcast and book, Cody explores how leadership, culture, and organizational.dynamics contribute to competitive advantage.

You can listen to "WOW" podcast here:

What can you do when the culture within your company is toxic and your desire is to create a place where people feel like they belong and can thrive?

As Jim Knight puts it beautifully: "I create my own weather", and so can you. I know! It's easier said than done, and today's episode is dedicated to all managers who have the desire to create micro-culture and rock on! From personal development to the hiring process, in this episode, you will learn how to start taking matters in your own hands and create the culture that you always wanted to be part of.

Jim Knight is a Training & Development veteran with 30+ years of facilitating a variety of interactive topics, including sessions around amping up organizational culture, world-class differentiated service, building rock star teams, hiring & retaining “rockstars”, employee branding, performance management and philanthropy.

Jim is the Owner & CEO of Knight Speaker, which positions him to facilitate at any association or company event, in any industry, as a keynote or breakout speaker. He is also the best-selling author of Culture That Rocks: How to Revolutionize Your Company’s Culture, now in its 2nd edition, which was featured in Entrepreneur Magazine as one of the “5 Books That Will Help You Transform How You Do Business”.

Connect with Jim Knight:

Most people believe that they are self-aware, and yet only 10-15% of us actually are. 

A few years ago I was in that overconfident and none-aware 85% until I read "Insight" and my journey towards self-awareness begun. Am I in the top 15%? I am certainly closer than I was 5 years ago, and I believe that we all would benefit from developing this skill. Tasha Eurich took it to the next level and wrote a phenomenal book that helped thousands of people across the world become more self-aware.

Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times, best-selling author. She uses science to help successful leaders—from early-stage entrepreneurs to public company CEOs—achieve dramatic and measurable change in their professional (and personal) lives.

As #1 Organisational Culture Guru (recognised by GlobalGurus), one of the top 30 emerging management thinkers in the world by Thinkers50, and recognised by legendary Marshall Goldsmith as #1 Self-Awareness coach I couldn't ask for a better guest to discuss Self-Awareness and how can everyone improve this critical skill.

When we think about "bad managers" that we worked for, we rarely think about his or her level of technical skills. It's more about how they made us feel. More often than not, what people truly need from managers is to show up authentically, be empathetic and assertive. They need emotionally intelligent leaders.

Where do we start the journey of building emotionally intelligent teams? Where can you start as a manager?

In this episode, Teresa breaks the journey down for us and map the road that each manager should take in order to build successful teams, but more importantly: to look after our own and others emotional well-being.

Teresa Quinlan is an executive coach, public speaker and co-host of TNT ESQ podcast. As an EQ coach, she helps organisations build emotionally intelligent teams, and she does it with a great dose of positive energy and humour.

When we think about "bad managers" that we worked for, we rarely think about his or her level of technical skills. It's more about how they made us feel. More often than not, what people truly need from managers is to show up authentically, be empathetic and assertive. They need emotionally intelligent leaders.

Where do we start the journey of building emotionally intelligent teams? Where can you start as a manager? 

In this episode, Teresa breaks the journey down for us and map the road that each manager should take in order to build successful teams, but more importantly: to look after our own and others emotional well-being.

Teresa Quinlan is an executive coach, public speaker and co-host of TNT ESQ podcast. As an EQ coach, she helps organisations build emotionally intelligent teams, and she does it with a great dose of positive energy and humour.

As a leader, an important part of your responsibility is to show people what's possible and through ongoing coaching set them on that path. The traditional way of scheduled and documented feedback conversations is no longer a viable option. A real-time coaching conversation is a way to go, and Kieron spent years mastering this approach. 

In today's episode, you will learn how to develop your team through ongoing, real-time feedback conversations.  Kieron is sharing with us his proven process of turning team members into successful leaders. 

Kieron Bailey is a co-founder of Experience 101, hospitality junkie, coach and public speaker.  Kieron spent over 20 years proudly leading and developing teams. Today, as a consultant and public speaker,  Kieron is helping hospitality businesses grow and develop the next generation of leaders and hospitality lovers.

You can connect with Kieron on:

Our human nature can be the very barrier that prevents managers from coaching others effectively. It doesn't have to be that way!

As Melissa explained during our conversation:

"We can't stop them from happening, but we can do, is understand them and identify it when it happens so we can take conscious action".

In today's episode, you will learn more about your decision-making process, understand how cognitive biases preventing us from being a better coach, leader and person.

Melissa Hughes is an author of "Happier hour with Einstein" and "Happier hour with Einstein, another round!". As a founder of The Andrick Group and coach, Melissa is helping elevating leadership with science-based approaches for driving performance. As a speaker and neuroscience geek, she simplifies the latest neuroscience findings and shares them in an engaging way from the stages across the world.

Almost overnight managers had to transition into leading their teams virtually and coaches moved their training sessions from in-house to online.

This transition brought a set of new challenges that we all have to embrace, but where do we start?

 This special episode with Chris Coalco will help you take the right direction and adds clarity to this new journey of virtual leadership.

We also have a bonus for you!

Chris is a creator of cloud-based feedback platform and he has developed a set of feedback questionnaires that are supporting managers across the world with this transition.

You can sign up and start your 30 days free trial today!